Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.

Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?

Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register

01x19 - Summer of Hacienda Chills/Summer of Los Bots

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Primos". Aired: July 25, 2024 – present.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


Series centers around a large Mexican-American family living in the neighboring Los Angeles town of Hacienda Hills.

01x19 - Summer of Hacienda Chills/Summer of Los Bots

Post by bunniefuu »

[Gordita reading]

[announcer] And now for the main event,
the Nach Bros!


- [crowd cheering]
- [both grunting]

[announcer] And the challengers,
the T-Sisters!


[crowd cheering]

[buzzer buzzing]

{\an8}[announcer] Whoa!
A surprise contender?


{\an8}[growls]

[announcer] The Humphrey Sisters!

{\an8}And the crowd goes wild!

{\an8}[grunts and growls]

{\an8}Nellie!

{\an8}[grunts] Come on!

Ugh, we're playing charades,
whether you like it or not.

But we never win, and we never will.

Not with that attitude!

{\an8}Choose your fate.

- Hmm.
- Hmm.

[making fart sounds]

Long prootz, short prootz,
short, short, long...

- How is this gonna work?
- Mmm...

It's raining cats and dogs!

¡Eso es, hermanito!

Hmm. [grunts]

[drum roll playing]

{\an8}- [both] A rolling stone gathers no moss!
- Yes!

How did you know?

Sister intuition, duh.

Well, Nellie and I got plenty
of whatever that is, too.

Easy.

[clucking]

Mmm-mmm?

You're not even trying!

{\an8}Time's up.
No points for The Humphreys.

{\an8}Again.

It was chicken!

That was a pretty terrible impression
of a chicken.

Hmm.

Gordita, why don't you join the fun?

Instead of just taking notes about it.

Eh, observing the primos
offers more mental stimulus

than playing infantile games, tía Bibi.

Well, how about
you come up with a game

and share it with the group?

From observational
to experimental study, eh?

You may be on to something, tía Bibi.

[laughs cunningly]

[TV announcer] Space Justice!

[both sniffing]

You smell that?

[together] Bacon?

[electricity crackling]

Mmm-mmm.
Churro, you never let me down.

- [electricity buzzing]
- [screams]

What the... That was weird.

- [electricity buzzing]
- [screaming]

Churro, no!

[groans]

[laughs] Hypothesis proving correct.

Bacon.

This show makes me want
a bacon-wrapped hot dog, real bad!

Wait. What's happening to us?

This is weird.

Heh. Weirdly predictable.

[Lotlot] Experimenting on the primos, eh?

Interesting way to get your kicks.

But who am I to judge?

An experiment?
That would explain the drooling!

- Eh...
- So it was you

messing with my churro time? I knew it!

She's been using us as lab rats.

It's manipulation!

[gasps] Again?

Last time you experimented on us,

you erased Nachito's fingerprints.

I can't be traced.

[primos muttering]

But... But I'm only trying
to establish a social nexus.

You all right, sister fam?

My hypothesis was wrong.

Attempting to bond with the primos
was an utter failure.

Ugh. These flawed humans.

I'll never comprehend them.

Wait, sis. Where are you going?

Back to what makes sense,
my trusty robots.

Little sisters, am I right?

But at least we have churros.

- [electricity buzzing]
- [groaning]

Used to have...

[beeping]

Oil required. Oil required.

{\an8}There, all systems go.

{\an8}Nature fam. Nature fam.

And what do you have for me,
Gor-3-ta?

Creator, we are behind schedule.

You require maintenance.

Oh, cypress bush.
I don't want to meddle,

but Gordita is wilting
like a neglected begonia.

I gotta do something before she gives up

on humans entirely.

Worried about your little sis?

I can give you a hand
with this Gordita situation.

I'd love to get back at her--

I mean... help her,

like the way she helped me
with my nasty churro habit.

Aw, you're too kind, prima.

Yes, I am.

But how to get through
to our scientific friend?

Hmm... [gasps] That's it!

It's time to suit up!

You break down H2Bro
to distract Gordita.


And while she's distracted,

I will disguise myself inside...

Gor-3-ta!

And then finally, with your guidance,

we'll give Gordita a crash course

in basic human interaction!

That should bring her back
into the
primos fold.

I don't know.
That sounds kind of deceptive.

Like manipulation?

[Tater sighs]

But she could use some social training.

- So you're on board?
- Yeah, let's do it.

[Tater] Booyah-buh-bot!

[Cousin Bud] Oh, man,
this is so destructive.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Um, hey, sis,
your watering robot is falling apart.

Can you come take a look?

But I just updated his hardware.

I sense sabotage.

[shivering] Uh...

The government must be on to me.

Phew. Um, yeah, man, the, uh,

government is always up to something.

Ha! Little does she know,
it really is sabotage.

Uh, kind of a tight fit, but...

Now I am Gor-3-- Whoa!

[clears throat]

I am Gor-3-ta.

Smug chuckle.

She's heading your way!

Gor-3-ta, do you have
any pending updates?

Try saying this... [whispers indistinctly]

[robotically] One update.

Lately, I've been feeling lonely.

- I require companionship, Mother.
- Mother?

Or would you prefer...

Mommy?

A demonstration of affection?

You are not programmed for that.

Run system check.

[groaning]

Gor-3-ta, did you feel pain?

Yes, Mother. In response,

Gor-3-ta has developed a new action.

Anger!

I didn't program you for emotion.

The robot has developed sentience.

Mother, let's hug it out.

Just a minor electrocution.

Cool it, robo fam.

This deception's kinda going too far.

Uh, sorry, CB. [imitating static]

I'm, uh... [imitating static]
...losing you.

[laughs] Payback time.

[gasps]

- [laughs and groans]
- [electricity crackling]

Good thing I always program
a self-destruct option.

But if Gor-3-ta has achieved sentience,

what is happening to my other bots?

[groaning] Cousin Bud,

she's coming your way!

Man, oh, man, oh, man!

[groans] I can't fit.
It's all you, prima.

Hmm. All systems seem normal.

[scoffs] There's no way this rudimentary

plant watering robot
could have intelligence.

Way harsh, Mother fam.

You say the primos don't get you,

but you don't get H2Bro, bro.

I'm sorry, H2Bro. You're correct.

I have underestimated you.

In fact, maybe I have
underestimated everyone.

Even the humans.

Breakthrough!

Mother, you deserted me.

Now you will pay.

My creations have turned against me.

Tater, what are you doing, man?

She was having a breakthrough.

Booyah-buh churro vengeance!

Booyah-buh wha?

But that sounds like...

Oh, dear, Gor-3-ta,

I'm afraid your insolence must be punished

with my laser torch.

Laser torch?

[grunting]

No! This has gone too far!

Surprise!

I knew it! Sabotage!

I expect it from Tater's simple mind,

but my own blood?

I'm sorry, little sis,

but I saw you struggling
to bond with the primos.

I just wanted you to practice
your social skills

and not feel left out.

It is true. Human emotions
do not come easily to me.

But now, after your meddling,

I feel something very intensely.

Rage!

Uh, that doesn't sound good.

Yeah, you really messed up, Bud.

It's ready, the ultimate weapon.

Time to share you with the primos.

[munching]

[croaks]

Hey, what's that frog thing?

- What the...
- [gasps]

[rumbling]

[croaking]

Behold, primos, my frog bots!

Cousin Bud,
you have to reason with Gordita.

Whatever the frog bots
are gonna do to us,

we deserve it.

What do you mean by "we"?

Speak for yourself, sheesh.

[gasps] We!

Don't worry, primos.

This will be swift and mostly painless.

Not if I have something
to say about it, Mother.

Mecha suit, power up!

It's mech battle time!

Frog bots assemble!

[frogs croaking]

Ribbit, ribbit, fam!

[both] Pew, pew, pew.

Take that. [mimicking battle sounds]

Aw, I love this little guy.

Gordita, does it have a name?

Uh... huh?

They're so cute!

I'm so jealous.

You're living my
Dr. Frankenstein dream, prima.

You... you like my creations?

What kind of cute stuff can they do?

Well, they're programmed to destroy!

Huh?

I mean, uh, hop around looking cute.

Bots, stand down.

[croaking]

Bring it in, little sis.

I knew you wouldn't destroy us all.

[clears throat]
Three-second rule, brother.

Oh, sorry.
Just, you know, proud of you.

Does this mean we're forgiven?

Hmm, certainly.

- I'll let it slide, as they say.
- [beeps]

Today I learned

that while humans are capable of flaws,

we should also be capable
of forgiveness.

Aw, you said "we."

Like, you consider yourself a human.
Now that's progress.

Yes, I am capable of learning, after all.

Ooh, a churro!

- [electricity crackles]
- Unlike Tater.

- [both laughing]
- I don't get it.

Tell me the joke,
it doesn't make any sense.

Guys! Why are you still laughing?

[♪ closing theme music playing]