[announcer] Are you
ready to play the game?
[crowd] Yeah.
["The Game" by
Jurassic 5 playing]
The Game
Playing to survive
Aiming to win
any way they can
You gon' win
Yo, yo, pass the ball
final casting call
First of all,
verbal basketball
Off the glass,
smash your jaw
Too fast for y'all
You might take a nasty
fall trying to stick
With the prehistoric
passenger
- Foul ball
- All breath, no physical contact
Bounce back, demonstrate
invincible b*mb raps
Not no hustler, no player
or speakin' no crime crap...
[knocking on door]
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hey, man. Thank you
for coming by, man.
How you been, man?
What I tell you about
all that small talk?
And after what you did in Phoenix,
you lucky I even stopped by.
Only reason I'm here is 'cause
you say you know who did it.
[Jamel Johnson] Think I do.
I'm excited to show you this.
I think all the answers you're
looking for are inside of this.
Check this out, yeah.
[mellow music playing]
[Josiah Johnson] Jamelo
Ball Productions?
[Jamel] I'm... Just
keep watching, man.
[Mero] And you know
what I'm saying?
That's how I got Charles
Oakley to stop vaping.
I did that. Your boy did that.
You know what I'm saying?
The kid Mero right here.
You know what I'm
saying? On this podcast.
Now it's time for the
Mero Mailbag, baby
Where I answer
questions from listeners
and today's question...
"Yo, Mero, how do I [bleep] this
stolen [bleep] that I got?"
Bruh, that's very incriminating.
Um, listen, I'm not going
to answer that with words.
I'm going to answer
it with a, an image
'cause a picture's worth
a thousand words, okay?
[keyboard clacking]
J.R. Smith squinting meme.
Nope. J.R. Smith squinting?
J.R. Smith squinting meme.
Come on, dawg.
Yo, Teo, you touch my computer?
[Amin Elhassan]
Twitter is crazy.
Twitter's like the
consciousness of basketball.
- [speaker 1] NBA Twitter is...
- A hot mess.
- [speaker 2] Brash.
- [speaker 3] Obnoxious.
Spicy.
[Jamel] Informative
too, though.
NBA what?
[speaker 4] NBA Twitter
is argumentative.
[Amin] Hey, who's
the better center,
Joki or Embiid?
Fight to the death.
[speaker 5] You got your
trolls, you got your casuals,
you got your die-hards,
you got your...
- [speaker 6] Memes.
- Memes?
[speaker 7] The memes, they
keep me, they keep me going.
[speaker 8] Memes take
two pop culture ideas
and meld them together.
[speaker 9] The Egyptians had
hieroglyphics. We have memes.
You remember when Jimmy Butler caught
the paper and balled it up and threw it?
That was a meme. Who knew?
[speaker 10] Athletes can
tell the story themselves
and tell it their way.
I don't think that's true.
[speaker 11] That
drives a conversation.
So, the NBA is
following NBA Twitter,
not the other way around.
It's dangerous.
Hello, Hollywood, my
name is Jamel Johnson,
the head of Jamelo
Ball Productions.
We've made such classic films
like Bittersweet: The
Michael Olowokandi Story,
or Cutoff: The Rise and
Fall of Sleeve Jerseys.
But I'm not here to talk
to you about those today.
Today, I'm here to tell you
about a film that is going
to blow your damn mind.
This movie has everything.
Twists, turns,
deceit, brotherhood...
deception, brotherhood again.
It's about Josiah Johnson,
the king of NBA Twitter.
His tweets were so influential
they got Jaylen Brown
to dribble left-handed.
I heard he taught Kevin
Durant how to write cursive.
- [news anchor] The king NBA Twitter...
- [speaker 1] King of NBA Twitter...
[speaker 2] Josiah
Johnson, he's the king.
[news anchor] You're the king of
Twitter. How are you doing today?
I'm doing good. I don't know about
that king of Twitter part, though,
but I appreciate
you for the love.
I mean, even the king
himself signed off on him,
so you know what it is.
[newscaster] LeBron, I can't
wait to see what Josiah's going
- to tweet about you tonight.
- [laughter]
Oh, yeah, you right. Uh, you
already know he going to be...
- He already on it right now.
- [crosstalk]
I guarantee he already
did something for sure.
[Jamel] Josiah was
the undisputed king
of a realm called NBA Twitter,
home to trolls and fans,
mortal enemies and
close-knit families
where the currency
is likes and retweets
and the language
of the land, memes.
Or mee-mees if you're nasty.
[speaker] That anyone can
throw a meme out there
to consistently
find the new stuff
that everyone else steals,
that's true talent.
[Amin] These are the,
the gods among us.
The people who can take
something that just happened
and create a meme out of it,
[snaps fingers] out of thin air.
I can't think of anyone better
at that than Josiah Johnson.
He is the greatest tweeter in
the history of the platform.
These memes are from,
like, Boyz n the Hood...
Ricky.
...Menace II Society,
soft tale as Colors.
Like, he's going to come
up with the perfect capture
of the NBA moment.
[Jasmine Watkins] He fuses
sh*t that I think is funny
which sh*t that, like, "white"
people think are funny.
- So, it's...
- [producer] I'm sorry, uh, quotations.
Sorry.
Hey, you are owed respect, sir.
He might be the greatest
tweeter of all time.
This, this my dawg.
[Ros Gold-Onwude]
Sustained excellence.
People like excellence
on the way up,
but sustained excellence,
I find sometimes, um,
you know, you gain
a lot of haters.
You know, people are always looking
for the next story on the way up.
It's hard to stay on the top.
[Josiah] Like the great
Stephen Jackson said,
"I make love to pressure,"
but I do live in a world
where you constantly
have to perform high.
They're waiting for you to fail.
They're waiting for you to fall off.
They're waiting for that
thing to not be as good...
as they think it should be.
[on video] I'm tired.
Everywhere we go, man,
it's "meme boy
this, meme boy that.
NBA Twitter this,
NBA Twitter that."
You know, Gil, I
have talents, bro.
You know, I can do stuff
outside of NBA Twitter.
I don't know what it is
yet, but I'ma figure it out.
Alright, until then, meme
boy, can we start this show?
[Josiah] I feel like I've done
everything I could do for the community.
I've done my part and helped elevate it
to levels it had never reached before,
and it just wasn't fun anymore.
Uh, you know, when I
wake up in the morning
and, and I'm not excited
about doing the things
that I used to love to do,
then that's just the world,
that's just God telling me
that it's time to move on
and do other things.
[Jamel] I could tell whatever
Josiah was about to say next
was going to echo in eternity.
Let me get that mic.
[Jamel] I'd never seen the
man get serious like this.
- You need quiet?
- Yeah, yo, yo.
Yo, if I can get everybody to come
up closer to the stage real quick.
I got a special announcement.
Whatever y'all doing,
stop it for one second,
pull up to the stage real quick.
Let's go. Don't be bashful. I know
all y'all in here. We all family.
And one of the reasons I wanted
to do this thing was, obviously,
to bring the whole NBA
Twitter community together,
super, super important to me,
really helped me get to
where I want to be now.
But after doing a lot of
thought and consideration,
I'm going to be announcing my
retirement from NBA Twitter.
[people booing]
[people shouting]
[crowd] [chanting]
Traitor! Traitor!
[Jamel] And that's
where I come in.
I was there trying to get interviews
for a Bonzi Wells doc I was making.
I said Bonzi Wells, NBA legend,
the only guy ever
to be named Bonzi?
I can't hear what you're saying.
I can't hear you, but it sounds
like you got an attitude.
[Jamel] Do you have
a Bonzi Wells memory?
- Nothing.
- [Jamel] Nothing?
He served as the
sports envoy to China,
Office of Sports Diplomacy,
the Office of
Sports Diplomacy...
[Amin] On the subject
of Josiah, however,
I never thought
that he'd ever stop.
He was at the top of the game.
[Jamel] Everyone had
something to say.
Why would he quit?
He's dominating.
Yeah, I'm mad.
[bleep] out of here.
This is like Jordan
retiring in '93.
[Jamel] It became clear this was
the story I was meant to tell.
This a movie. My
life a movie, dawg.
This fall, I'ma be taking
my NBA Twitter talents
into retirement.
It's devastating for
the NBA Twitter world.
[Josiah] I've always
stressed to people
that once I lose the
sense of motivation,
it's time for me to
move on from the game.
[Jamel] Community was down bad.
How the [bleep] do you
retire from Twitter?
[Jamel] Everybody except
for Jalen Rose's hairline.
He not retiring.
He's not done. He is not done.
One final tweet
and then it's over.
I'm super appreciative of NBA Twitter and
all the opportunities that it gave me,
the career it
helped me establish,
but it was closing time, right?
It was, it was time
to shut it down,
time to move on
to something else
and really just-just figure out my
life from-from that point forward.
[Jamel] Josiah posted his
farewell tweet a day later
using the J.R. squints meme,
and it was a masterpiece.
And then, Josiah was gone.
You know, heavy is the head
that wears the
crown, as they say,
and that dude's been on
the top of the mountain
for a long time.
But, you know, we're
talking Everest
when we're talking about
the, the top of NBA Twitter,
NBA meme mountain,
and there's not a lot
of oxygen up there,
and it's cold as sh*t.
And also, there's a long
line of people waiting
to go up there
and take a selfie.
So, I-I'm just absolutely prepared
to watch the fallout because...
when there's a power
vacuum, you know,
that-that creates
a lot of tension.
[Jamel] Then J.R.
squints vanished.
How does a meme
disappear like that?
[Jamel] Wiped
from the internet.
I have some disturbing news
to share with the nation.
The J.R. squints meme
has gone missing.
That's heartbreaking, I guess.
It's... That's-That's
one of the best memes
we've ever had as a community.
Like, that's, that's number one.
If we don't have squints,
we don't have anything.
Just blow the whole...
blow it all up.
[Amin] We're talking
about the bedrock,
the very foundation
what NBA Twitter is,
which are the memes.
We can't lose this. It's
like... We're losing recipes.
We can't also lose our memes.
Now the authorities
have no leads.
This reporter will not rest
until we find out
who's behind this.
[Jamel] It was even removed
from existing tweets,
including Josiah's
farewell tweet.
It stood as a monument
to his career.
The Mona Lisa had
been defaced, y'all.
As an or-a-tor... Orator?
As a teller of stories, I
naturally saw the potential here.
A crime committed,
a culprit to find.
J.R. squints, to
a normal person,
oh, his disappearance
means nothing.
But to somebody on NBA Twitter,
J.R. squints is possibly the
most beloved meme of all time.
I was going to need help.
My first call was
to my guy, Darius,
my go-to cameraman
most of the time.
We shot this little scene
of me drawing J.R. on film,
then I lost the
film at the pool.
So, then we shot it
again, digital this time.
- [phone line ringing]
- Then I called Josiah.
Hey, Mr. Johnson, it's also
Mr. Johnson. Yeah, it's your boy.
I just wanted to check up on you,
man. I seen you left Twitter.
Uh, hit me back, man. Got
some big stuff for you, homie.
Big homie, bestie.
Was it, was it something I said?
And is this still
your phone number?
Call me back and tell me.
Tell me what I did too.
[automated voice] Your
call has been forwarded...
It's all good if you don't
hit me back, man. I'm just...
pondering existence.
Hey, listen, I'm through playing
with you, dawg. Call me back!
Hey, yo!
His phone wasn't working,
so me and Darius figure
we go over there and
see him in person.
He got money. Look at this.
Thinking about what Josiah
was up to since retiring
had become a
full-time job for me.
I was in between real jobs,
and I had some theories.
Something regal I imagined.
That's real.
My working relationship
with Darius, I'll be honest,
it's one of the more important
parts of this project.
If it wasn't for his
willingness to explore...
and break into people's yards...
we would not have had a film.
I tell him this every day.
Come on, dawg. This
is a good idea.
I know it seems
questionable right now,
but it's going to
work, for both of us.
Me and you.
Hm.
The Brothers Johnson
reunited! What's good, baby?
[laughs]
Hey, Darius, how's my hair, man?
- We go way back. We go...
- [Josiah] Did we ever meet or...
Let me stop you there.
We met 1996 at ABCD Camp.
Why are you at my house?
Bro, I tried to call you,
man. Your voicemail was full.
Wait, were you that 571 number
that kept blowing up my phone?
Yeah, damn, you don't
got my number saved?
Honestly, I don't even remember
meeting Jamel at ABCD Camp.
I didn't even go to ABCD Camp, so I
don't know what he's talking about.
It wasn't ABCD?
Was it Five-Star?
Was it the, uh, Nike Hoops
Jamboree and Sleepover?
What you sipping on right there?
That look like a nice bev.
It's a little Kenya martini.
Now I'm going to ask
you one more time,
then I'm calling the cops.
Oh, wait, you was that kid with
the funky, uh, sleeping bag?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- [laughing] That was you.
- That was you.
- The trash bag with the cotton ba*ls...
- That was you. Okay., -...in
it. That was... See, I knew.
- Yeah, that was true.
- Yeah.
[Josiah] I've been working
on my trick shots. Ooh.
[Jamel] Okay, now.
That's... Hey.
It was worse than I
could have imagined.
This is my new life,
Jamel. And damn.
- You make any?
- I have not.
I knew I was the only one that could
get through to you, my brother.
First of all,
we're not brothers.
- Oop.
- Man, that's alright, man.
No, wind took that one.
I like your shorts.
I was doing it solely
to bring Josiah back.
No other reasons possible.
The internet needed him.
Have you been on
NBA Twitter lately?
- Just look, man.
- Mother...
- Who did this?
- [Jamel] Seven days,
things turned into
Apocalypto, man.
[Josiah] Hold up, Donald Sterling
got NAACP Man of the Year?
Jasmine Watkins rocking
a Celtics jersey?
Dragonfly Jonez and LaJethro
are going by their real names?
[Jamel] Yeah, they made
everybody get real IDs.
We had to register like X-Men.
Yo, hold up, Darius,
Darius, back up.
- Dracarys!
- Yeah, hey, get out of here.
[Josiah] Ben Simmons broke Steph
Curry's three-point record?
Six days, they made Bill O'Reilly
the head coach of the Nets.
- [Josiah] Kawhi Leonard cut his braids?
- [Jamel] Mm-hm.
Donated them to science.
[Josiah] Damn, Doc
Rivers's got a OnlyFans?
And a Twitter Blue, man.
I'm subscribed to both.
You only been gone a week, dawg.
Look at this, look
at this calamity.
And then we stumbled
onto something.
[Josiah] What's this?
[Jamel] A name that
would come to haunt us.
[Josiah] Botto Porter Jr.?
[Jamel] Botto Porter Jr.
[Josiah] He only got one tweet.
Let me see what's cracking.
[Jamel] It was a ransom note.
[Josiah] "If you ever want
to see J.R. squint again,
"then you better pay
attention when I speak next.
This is just the beginning"?
Damn, what we got
ourselves into, man?
Josiah said, "Hey,
I need to tap you
"to be the director
of this documentary.
"This is the, the,
like, a seminal piece.
"This is going to, like, uh, define
my life's work, et cetera, et cetera.
Jamel, please, can
you please help me?"
What?
Look, man, you gotta mess with
me on this documentary, man.
Don't call nobody else
in. I got it covered, man.
This is me. This is my
big moment, alright?
Highly qualified, alright?
I won my third
grade spelling bee.
Second place, fourth grade.
It writes itself.
Jamel Johnson, Josiah Johnson,
the Brothers Johnson,
Johnson and Johnson.
But we go harder than
the baby powder, man.
I could sh**t it,
I could edit it.
Um, proficient on
Microsoft Word.
I sold weed at
NYU and Juilliard.
- Damn.
- I did a documentary on the D band.
I did a documentary on
my mom's church hats.
What was it called?
A Queen and Her Crowns.
[Josiah] You only got, like, 27
followers, how we going to do this?
Hey, don't worry about
how many followers I got.
How many tweets I
got? Four million.
[Josiah] That's dedication.
Quantity over quality,
everybody know that.
[Josiah] Alright, man, look,
Ava finally hit me back.
She said if I text
her one more time,
she going to call the cops,
so I guess I'll rock with you.
Come on, man. Hey, man,
that's what I'm talking about.
I don't even know no cops.
We good, man. Let's
get this money, man.
[Josiah] Let's get it.
We gotta get some wires up. We
gotta, uh, build a task force.
Who was Botto Porter Jr.?
Was it one of KD's burners?
Was he from NFL Twitter perhaps?
[Josiah] We need to
establish some ground rules.
- [Jamel] Okay.
- [Josiah] Rule number one, no lactose.
[Jamel] Or was
it an inside job?
Rule number four, you gotta
tell everybody we partners.
I'm the star, I'm the director.
[Jamel] NBA Twitter has had its
fair share of unique personalities.
Was Botto Porter Jr. one of us?
[Josiah] Well, NBA Twitter's
enlightening just because
of all the incredible
personalities
that have-have arisen from it.
I remember when this
thing first started
during the NBA lockout, 2011,
uh, it was a different time.
I am on a drug; it's
called Charlie Sheen.
Obama was president, gas
prices were, were reasonable.
We were just coming off of one of the
worst recessions in American history.
And, uh, it was just
a time of opportunity.
But lockout started, and
there's just no basketball.
And, uh, we were all just
kind of stuck in limbo,
waiting for the season to start,
and then, uh, something beautiful
and incredible happened.
The players kind of
all got together,
decided, "Look, we're going to
give back, uh, to the fans."
So, they just started popping up at-at
summer leagues all over the country.
Drew League, Goodman League,
really leagues around the world.
And for me, personally, I
was, you know, doing a lot
of just documenting
stuff like that.
Had a camera, so I would
just show up to spots.
I was able to show
up to the Drew League
when Kobe pulled up in August.
You know, had that great
game against Harden
where he hit the game-winner.
If you see the footage of
that, that's my footage.
Twitter was still kind of in,
in its infancy at that point,
but we all kind of came together
just unbeknownst to ourselves.
And you just started to see
a lot of these same faces
at a lot of these
same different events
and just a lot of
people like myself
working in other fields who were
passionate about basketball,
but just didn't really
have an opportunity
to showcase their knowledge,
their comedic timing,
their humor, their sensibilities,
their ability for satire.
It's really just spawned
this whole culture where,
you know, NFL does the best
numbers, makes the most money,
but on a social standpoint, nothing
is getting with NBA Twitter.
Nobody wants our fade.
We are the most, uh,
elaborate community,
uh, most essential community,
and most vital community
I think of sports.
[Jamel] And now that
community was under attack,
but the Brothers Johnson
were on the case.
I make this one, I'm
directing the movie,
and you're giving
me your ESPN+ login.
I'll give you Hulu.
Ahh!
Lights, camera, action
Well, I guess
you're the director.
It's time to act
You love to act
If this was really
an inside job,
someone in the NBA
Twitter family...
then it could have been
somebody I already filmed.
So we went to my edit lair so I
could show Josiah the footage.
We ready to go, man.
We fully equipped.
Me and Darius, we got
the edit lair all set up.
We already done shot half
the documentary already.
Bienvenidos.
[Josiah] I'm used to people
gassing things up, hyping them up,
but this was gassed up at a level
that I had never truly seen before.
What kind of edit lair is this?
Dude, it is the lair, player.
Cutoff: Rise and Fall
of the Sleeve Jerseys?
[Jamel] Mm-hm.
Bittersweet: The Michael
Olowokandi Story?
Man, these ain't no real docs.
[Jamel] Well, not
with that attitude.
He claimed that he had
the Adobe Premiere Suite.
Uh, looked like it was
a bootleg janky version.
There's nothing premiere
about this Adobe.
[Jamel] Look, this
is Adobo Premiere.
It's just a little spicier.
Why are Jasmine and
LaJethro on the screen?
Well, I had them in for a
Bonzi Wells doc I'm working on,
but the footage
works for us perfect.
We started with the folks
who seemed the most shady,
tried to poke holes
in their story.
[on video] Can you tell me where
you were when the meme went missing?
Yeah, I was, uh, I was minding my
cannabis garden in my backyard.
You know damn well he
don't know how to garden.
I don't even know how
to do no sh*t like that.
I'm not smart enough to wipe
a meme from the internet.
I could have been on a
date. You don't know that.
[Josiah] Damn, is that
a John Wall Jersey?
g*dd*mn right.
Who could it be?
[Jemele Hill] I don't
know. I... Look, I...
Look, I don't know nothing about
that. I don't know nothing about that.
I don't know nothing
about no squinting.
I don't know nothing
about no J.R. Smith.
Only J.R. I know is
J.R. from Dallas.
Damn, you got a
good-looking family, bro.
Hold up. Is this me?
[Jamel] I thought you'd
like it, honestly.
Trying to get us
in a family mode.
[Josiah] Do you live here?
I work here, and what
is life if not work?
First things first,
it was not me.
It was him.
[Josiah] Fifteenth place.
[Jamel] Hey,
somebody gotta do it.
They make trophies for that?
[Jamel] Hell yeah.
Well, I didn't know about
that. It went missing?
[Jamel] His fingers
is too clasped.
Look how clasped, them fingers
look like a lobster tail.
I'm terrified right now.
This man is from the
hood. What's he scared of?
Look the way he's
swigging that Chardonnay.
That ain't Chardonnay.
That's apple juice.
Man, this guy's a freak.
The whole time I
was talking to him,
he was pretending to be drunk.
I'm like, dawg, that's
Mott's. I can smell it.
[Cuttino Mobley] I don't like
telling on nobody, you know?
I don't like telling on nobody.
Ron Artest, um...
[clears throat]
Metta World Peace,
he may know a little bit.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Look, you told me this was off the
record. Like, what-what is all this?
Yeah, I'm going to be real.
If Metta World Peace
stole it, he can have it.
- [Jamel] That's real.
- [Josiah] I don't want that for it.
Hey, yo, holmes,
look, you gotta run.
I'm trying to watch
the game with my son.
Flavor Flav?
[Jamel] Three
hours had passed,
two Shaquille O'Neal CDs
had been listened to,
and one meme was still missing.
We were getting nowhere,
and nowhere was getting us.
So I decided to
try something new.
I played Josiah some clips
I felt he should see.
[Zach Harper] [on video] It's
devastating for the NBA Twitter world.
Josiah's the, I would say,
currently the best at it.
Maybe not the greatest ever...
but the best at it now.
I'm devastated. I mean, I...
He is saying some
nice stuff in there.
He a hater, but he got heart.
Just come back, save the day,
bro. Come on, we need you.
[Josiah] Caron
Butler needs me?
Hey, that's what he said.
You mean a lot to these
people, man. Look.
You guys are not processing
this the way I am.
He threw up off-camera...
out of pure anxiety.
Meanwhile, a Twitter sleuth
found a clue in the ransom video.
If you tweak the color and
invert the something or other,
it reveals an MSG logo
burned into the TV
from never changing the channel.
It was a clue. It
was a new clue.
Botto Porter was a Knicks fan!
'Cause every single team has
their own version of Twitter
whether that's Lakers Twitter or
Warriors Twitter or Celtics Twitter.
I think Warriors Twitter
is at w*r with everybody
'cause nobody likes them.
Warriors Twitter's
definitely that crazy cousin
who, literally, you know, just
got some fly gear recently
and they think that
they run sh*t now.
Warriors fans are not the
ones you want to deal with.
I mean, they're...
they don't know enough.
Like, basketball was
invented for them in 2015,
so it's not like you're dealing
with, like, true old heads,
but there's a lot more
of them than you think.
[Josiah] Clippers Twitter,
up and coming, burgeoning,
really, really some
talented, smart people there.
Nets Twitter's really just
Mina Kimes, but it's growing.
I feel like Boston Twitter's at w*r
with everybody, particularly Josiah.
He be on they head.
You should be nice
to Pacers fans.
We've done nothing but be kind.
Also, the Indiana Pacers fan
base is the worst fan base
in the history of basketball.
I would say the Lakers fans,
I'm not telling you anything
you don't know, darkness.
[Josiah] You think
about Lakers Twitter,
notorious for bullying
people to greatness.
Like I said, we saw it
with KCP in the Bubble,
we saw it with Kuz, but
th-they'll literally bully people
and take them to a whole
'nother level in their game
out of fear of, of feeling
the wrath of Lakers Twitter.
Whew. Jazz, not good.
Nope, nope, nope,
nope, nope. Too white.
The Miami Heat. Get
'em out of here.
Knicks fans. Ew. Okay.
[Cuttino] New York
Knicks fans are terrible.
- Bing bong.
- [Josiah] Never trust a Knicks fan, man.
Stephen A. Smith, Spike Lee.
Way too old, right? And the
hairlines are way too janky.
This is true.
But what other Knicks fan do we know
with that same level of desert thirst?
- Mero.
- [Jamel] Michael Rapa... Mero.
Yeah, Mero!
I never liked him anyway.
[Jamel] It turned out
Mero was in Los Angeles
to launch a new
line of blunt wraps,
so we invited him over.
Okay, uh, we got a
suspect. It's Mero.
What does "Mero" mean? Is
that Dominican for "criminal"?
[Josiah] After
looking at the note,
seeing the way "just"
was spelled "jurst,"
which sounds like "jur,"
which sounds like "ur"...
- Mm.
- ...Mero was the prime suspect.
And he was the first person
who saw that the meme was gone
and if I know anything,
whoever smelt it, did what?
Dealt it.
[Josiah] We knew with
Mero, he's a clever guy,
and, uh, we had to be really
strategic and resourceful
in getting it out of him.
He wasn't just going
to give it to us.
Now what? We see you, Mero.
[Jamel] We set up
three secret cameras.
One in the tissue box.
[Josiah] We going to get him.
[Jamel] One overhead.
[Josiah] We're gonna
get that meme back.
Yeah, we about to get his a*s.
[Jamel] One in
a bag of Fritos.
[Josiah] Yep.
These New York guys,
man, I'm sick of it.
[whispers] He was never
going to see it coming.
[Josiah] The charcuterie
going to get it out of him.
Mm-hm. You be the bad cop,
I'll be the badder cop.
- Mero's an idiot.
- [folder thuds]
Huh? Keep your feet
shoulder width apart
and then kind of come
from the chest area.
[Josiah] Hiya!
[Jamel] The trap
had been laid.
All that was left was for the
rat to find the cheese board.
- Thanks for coming through, my guy.
- [Mero] No. Oh, for sure, man.
[indistinct chatter]
...kick it, like, play a little,
you know what I'm saying?
[Jamel] He was nervous. I could smell
the sweat dripping down his back.
[Mero] You got, you got a
PS5 on deck or something?
[Josiah] Oh, we, we gon' play.
- We definitely playing.
- [Josiah] Yeah.
And Mero's a good dude. We're
good friends. I trust him.
But he also chokes up
his Tims too tight.
And he's a Knicks fan, so how
trustworthy can he really be?
How about you have a seat?
Go ahead and sit down.
We got a little... We got
this, uh, meat platter for you.
Oh, sh*t. Oh, the charcuterie?
Yeah, yeah. Now, now, we brought
the full Colombo set out for you...
[Mero] Oh, sh...
[Josiah] New Yorkers are
known for gassing things up
- like basketball...
- Mm-hm.
- ...outdoor leagues...
- Yeah, yeah.
- ...pizza.
- Yeah, yeah. Sandwiches.
Pizzas are pretty good,
though. I'm not going to lie.
[Jamel] How you feeling, man? What
you think, man? Knicks this year.
I'm thinking it's the conference
finals, you know what I'm saying?
- I'm feeling good.
- [Jamel] That's true. Yeah.
Boston done seceded from the
Union. That might be y'all's.
It's the NBA, you
know what I'm saying?
Like, anything can happen,
you know what I'm saying?
So, but, uh, you know, what's
up, wh-what's up with y'all?
- You know what I mean? How y'all...
- [Jamel] Oh, man, we...
[Josiah] Just hanging,
just hanging...
[Jamel] Just gon' parlay in a little
bit, you know what I'm saying?
[Josiah] Enjoy the
meat. Take a bite.
- Yeah, nah...
- [Josiah] It's tasty.
[Jamel] Yeah, that's good.
- [ominous piano note plays]
- [Mero] Ooh, s-some ominous music.
[Jamel] Yeah, w... I
just got this tuned up.
- [Josiah] Okay.
- Okay.
- [Josiah] Oh, you hear that? Ooh.
- Sound like something might go down.
- Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
- [folder thuds]
Okay? Yo!
[Jamel] We know you know
more than you're telling us.
H-How, how, bro?
- Don't you try and play us.
- [Josiah] Don't play us.
Don't even play with us, though.
Double teamed, homie.
- You ever done hard time before?
- Nah.
[whispers] You're finished.
[normal] You pay full
price for that chain?
I-I mean, I know
the guy. So, he...
- Oh, interesting.
- You know a guy.
- And I paid in cash.
- Now he knows guys now.
Now he knows guys now.
You don't know nothing about them
memes, but you know guys, huh?
- [Mero] I know some guys.
- I know some guys.
I know Five Guys. I
know all type of guys.
- Yeah.
- [Josiah] You believe him?
The only thing I believe
in is the 2008 Warriors.
Me and Barack Obama want to
know why you did it, Mero.
He's looking at me
like he's, like he's...
- He knows.
- ...he knows something.
You think he doesn't know?
[Barack Obama voice]
Where's the meme, Mero?
- I don't, I don't know.
- That's my Obama voice.
- I've been practicing.
- I don't, I don't...
- That did sound pretty good, man.
- It was, it was a fire Obama.
[Josiah] But then as we got
to really investigate Mero,
realize he might not have
been the one who did it.
But I ain't steal the meme, bro.
Like, I deadass... I'm like...
- Alright, fine.
- I believe him.
[Jamel] Okay.
Thank you. sh*t. Bro,
can we play 2K now?
[Jamel] Well, tell
us what you do know.
Listen, man, y'all my boys...
but y'all gotta let this go.
[Josiah] We can't let
it go, Mero. We can't.
You have to. You
don't understand, man.
This goes all the
way to the top.
You know how there's,
how there's NBA Twitter,
there's, like, a
deeper level, B.
You know what I'm saying?
This is a group of
unhinged individuals, B.
They meet up off
of Twitter, bruh.
Wait, they meet up in real life?
In real life!
In real life! That's what
I'm trying to tell y'all!
Boy, if you watch
the video closely,
the last frame, there's
a goat in the reflection.
[Josiah] LeBron's
in the video?
- The GOAT, if he's...
- Miguel Jordan.
I mean, goat adjacent.
No. Like, a goat. Like
a... [imitates bleating].
The goat, he runs everything.
You know what I'm saying?
You don't want to get involved
with that type of stuff.
Trust me, I'm out.
If y'all want to pursue
this, I could give you this.
I know the next meeting
is in Phoenix in two days.
Underground, Phoenix, two days.
[Jamel] They gotta be crazy
if they meeting in Phoenix.
You know what I'm saying? Hello?
If y'all want to pursue this...
- Yeah, man.
- Let's go.
Y'all do your thing
and y'all my boys,
so I'm going to help
y'all, but just call me.
But, like, you know, like if
you really, really, really,
really, really, really need to.
Like, six reallys.
If it's, like, two or three
reallys, don't call me.
- [Josiah] Okay.
- Four reallys or more,
it's okay, call me.
But star six seven.
So, we good?
- Yeah, yeah, we good.
- [crosstalk]
So, let's play some 2K, baby.
Let's go. Let's run it up.
[Jamel] Ah, we don't
even got it, dawg.
[Mero] Oh, you don't
got, you don't got the...
- [Jamel] We don't got 2K.
- [Mero] You don't got 2K?
And then, so then, we rolled
out, you know, simple as that.
["Ruff Ryders'
Anthem" by DMX playing]
[Josiah] I mean, truly,
when I saw that van,
I thought it was the
van from Boogie Nights.
[Jamel] You knew
about the van.
I told you exactly how this
van runs and how it looks.
[Josiah] Man, you sure
you can't fix that seat?
Yo, man, this how the car came.
It makes it more valuable.
[Josiah] Yeah, bro, do you have any
idea where we're going right now?
Well, we're definitely going
forward, I can tell you that.
Snitches want to try,
snitches want to lie
Then snitches wonder why...
The van, uh, I would say
it's more than a vehicle.
It-It's a-a piece of history.
[Josiah] Why it smell like
Wilt Chamberlain's n*pples
- up in here, man?
- It was the last air freshener they had.
- Woo!
- [Josiah] Hey, this car is [bleep] up.
[Jamel] You whipping this thing,
though. I'll give you that.
Damn right we did it,
what the F you gon' do?
- [Josiah] Us and the open road.
- Bring my Rubik's Cube?
Did you say car sick?
'Cause I like to use
"sick" as a positive.
[Josiah] We gotta get
there, man. No stopping.
- [Jamel] None?
- None like Kendrick.
Yo, man, check NBA Twitter.
See what's going down.
[Jamel] Alright,
alright, alright.
I mean, you know, NBA
Twitter, it wasn't around...
I'm kind of happy about it
because, in my day,
I didn't want certain
things on social,
so I'm really grateful
that it came later
when I was retired.
So, let's just keep it at that.
Some of the most ignorant
things trend on social media.
Like, I-I'll give
you an example.
I think it was one of the players in
the association didn't have lotion on,
in a basketball game,
and that was, like, the
highlight of the game.
Not Brooklyn versus the, uh, the
Milwaukee Bucks defending champions,
not, you know,
Giannis versus KD.
All they was talking
about was just
this guy didn't have lotion on.
And I think that was just crazy.
[Zach Schwartz] For
me, the first moment
with NBA Twitter was
the Temecula night,
uh, where the dude
was getting into it
with another dude about Kobe.
[Amin] One guy
challenged the other guy
to a fight in
Temecula, California.
They picked Christmas Day.
Presents, trees, kids saying,
"What did Santa bring me today?"
"No, sorry, Dad's gotta
go whoop somebody's a*s."
In Temecula, California.
And the one guy drove two hours
or whatever it was to Temecula.
The guy is in Temecula posting pictures
of, like, "You're now entering Temecula."
Only to find out that the other
guy not only wasn't there,
he wasn't even in the
state of California.
I was on SportsCenter
on Christmas day
and so then I said, "Before anyone tries
to meet me in Temecula about this,"
and everyone get crazy.
They're like, "Oh, my God,
"something from Twitter
actually made the leap
to real life TV."
You're welcome.
[Jamel] Where are we at, man?
Why you got us on
these backroads?
How long you say this ride was?
[Josiah] It's supposed
to be about six hours,
but we've been on the
road for about eight.
[Jamel] You check the map?
I got the map right here, bro.
I'm like LeBron, I'm
cerebral with mine.
Alright, bro, check NBA
Twitter. See what's going down.
Yo, man. Check NBA Twitter.
See what's going down.
Yo, just check NBA Twitter
again. See what's going down.
[exhales]
[Jamel] I thought you retired.
I mean, why is it
bothering you so much, man?
It must mean some amount
of something, retired man.
Yo...
Botto Porter took
10 more memes, man.
Damn, 10 more?
- Doc Rivers?
- [Jamel] Gone, man.
- [Josiah] Harden side eye?
- [Jamel] Gone.
[Josiah] Alonzo mourning?
[Jamel] Also gone.
[Josiah] LeBron stare?
[Jamel] They all gone, man!
[Josiah] Bobo?
[Jamel] Gone, gone.
[speaker 1] [on phone] I mean, I
think Adam Silver should have declared
a state of emergency a
long g*dd*mn time ago.
[Michelle Kim] [on phone]
And when we lose these memes,
it's like we're losing the
vowels and the consonants.
Imagine if we didn't
have the letter A.
Like, just think about that.
[speaker 2] Damn,
people going missing?
Scary times, dawg.
Yo, I think we should go live,
tell the people we're on the case.
Try to get the morale up,
you know what I'm saying?
[Josiah] No, I'm good.
Alright, we going live.
Three, two, one, hey, yo! Wow.
It's my brother, man.
[Josiah] Bro, we
are not related.
It's Jamel and Josiah,
the Brothers Johnson.
Uh, we on the case.
Look, everybody just
relax. Take it easy.
I know it looks bad right now,
but we're handling things.
Remember to focus on your
breathing out there, y'all.
We going to get them
memes back soon, alright?
Tell 'em something.
Tell 'em, yeah.
Get me off of camera, man.
Ah, yeah. Nah, he going
to get with y'all later.
NBA Twitter, it's like a
very interesting intersection
where delusional meets stupid.
Social media, especially,
people want to try and flex
and, and people play a character that
they're, they're not in real life.
So, they act a certain way.
They have a certain
tone about 'em.
With my brother, man.
It's me and my brother, man.
Social media,
especially NBA Twitter,
has allowed them
to be able to say
any type of sh*t that they want.
You're a weak a*s, [bleep] a*s,
candy a*s, flopping [bleep].
Go [bleep] yourself, you
cheating a*s [bleep].
Angrier now. It's
a lot angrier.
Alright, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, Q and A time.
Hold up. Hey, what's
up, everybody?
Let's tap in. Tap in with us.
Oh, whoa.
These comments are a
little, a little rude, man.
Jrue Holiday [bleep] nuts.
[Josiah] LeBron could post a tweet
about opening up a new school,
you look at the mentions, immediately,
"Oh, you're a fraud. I hate you."
NBA fans are terrible.
Wait, are you taping this?
[clears throat] Okay,
hey, you know what?
I love the NBA fans, especially
New York Knicks fans.
Very encouraging...
- [crowd chanting]
- [Cuttino] ...supportive.
Okay, Cleveland fans, LeBron
James, burning the jersey,
all that, I love it.
Uh, I played at UCLA with
a guy named Matt Barnes
who's a good friend of mine
and Matt gets
trolled all the time
and then when he actually pulls
up on these people in real life,
it's like, "Oh, man, I'm a
big fan, I love you. No."
You know what I mean?
Yeah, I fire
back. I fire back.
They get cussed out
by people like me
'cause they say
crazy stuff to me,
so I retaliate now that I don't
get fined for doing it anymore.
I used to... Look, I
used to hop in some DMs.
I used to hop in some DMs.
But the trolls, like,
they just want a reaction.
Hey, I know how my clothes
are supposed to fit, alright?
Nah, I bought all this myself,
and this my van.
- Yeah, straight cash, homie.
- [tire bursts]
- [Josiah] Oh, sh*t.
- [Jamel screams]
[Josiah] Think we got a flat.
Bro, squeal with some
bass in your voice.
Well, you know, I remember
the tire going flat.
My first thought
was, "Remain calm,
keep your heart
rate at a minimum."
I kind of started to
channel, like, snakes,
you know, various reptiles.
[Josiah] Just get me out of
here, man. Oh, my goodness.
Get me out of here.
You gotta get out first 'cause
that's the only door that work.
And Josiah might've been a
little rattled, you know?
No pun intended.
I was rattled?
Dawg, it's 300
degrees in this van.
Can you please get
up out the van?
When I'm ready.
I thought you might've been
a little rattled. A little...
- You looked a little rattle-y.
- I'm all conditions, bro.
Should have never came
on this trip with you.
Thank you.
[Josiah] My back hurt.
We all got backs,
man. Come on.
Yeah, we caught a flat out here.
I was just wondering
if you, um...
you got a AAA card
we could use or...
[Mero] [on phone] I mean, I can send...
Can... I can send you a metro card.
Do they take those out there?
I mean, what...
Yo, you said...
You said call you
if we needed help.
Hey, this is, this is help time.
- I got you.
- You the help.
I got you right now.
I picked up the phone.
[Jamel] Hurry, get us.
[Mero] Oh, go get you?
- Brother, I'm...
- Dawg, I thought you had my back, man.
- I thought you...
- [Mero] Yeah, so that's the thing,
like, I just said that.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, I ain't really...
I... Like, I, you know...
Like, i-it's a colloquialism.
[Jamel] Alright, well, well, thanks
for teaching me a new word, dawg.
Have a good one.
[exclaims]
[Josiah] What'd he say?
He told us we could
eat his shorts, man.
[bleep] Mero.
Nah, we've been out
here a while, dawg.
We gotta be in Phoenix
by tomorrow, bro.
You alright? Need water?
I don't got none, but-but just
let me know if you need one.
I'll give you the
water first when we...
So, you got a map
the whole time?!
What does the map say?
- [Josiah] You know how to read maps?
- You serious?
I think I got a bar.
I got a bar for your a*s.
We were stranded in the desert
with no hope in sight.
Is this what it's like to play
for the Washington Wizards?
My life started to
flash before my eyes,
all the people I
had trolled online.
Should I have just said
the Warriors were good?
No, never.
I'd rather die with nothing.
But before sh*t got too
real, we found a town.
The town of Dukes.
And I thought them fire
ants was going to jump me.
They took my hat.
- [Josiah] It's a cold game.
- [Jamel sighs]
[Jamel] Dukes was a small
town. It only had one bar.
It might have been
the only building.
[Josiah] God bless you.
[Jamel] You're welcome, sir.
We walked inside, but
it smelled like outside.
Ugh. I didn't like
it, man. Not one bit.
- [people chattering]
- [hip-hop music playing]
[Jamel] But at least
they had the game on.
- What's, uh, what's going on with that?
- Oh, uh, that's Darius.
We settled in and
watched the game.
See, that's the thing, a
lot of people don't realize
you can be European and Black.
- Wow.
- Whoa, a tight game.
You guys watch basketball?
A little bit.
[Jamel] It turned out the
whole town was die-hard.
Come on, Curry.
[patron] What's your ideal
starting five look like?
I'll probably put
LeBron at center.
- Okay.
- LeBron at power forward.
[Jamel] Move like
if a baby could run,
but also was pushing
a shopping cart.
[Josiah] LeBron
at small forward,
LeBron at sh**ting guard,
and point guard, probably Luka.
Personal favorite, Popeye Jones.
This little town still
using dial-up internet
loved the NBA as much as I did.
I saw a guy writing a tweet
with a sewing machine.
This lady was wearing basketball
shorts under her jeans,
and this woman told me she
used to date Ricky Rubio.
I don't know why I
bet on these games.
They screw me over.
[Jamel] And then
this dude, yo,
I don't even know what
was up with this dude.
Dukes is strange.
- Pickle?
- You don't know pickleball?
[Jamel] But it was fun.
[Josiah] Hey, do
what you want to do.
- [Jamel] Well, that's like 90.
- [Josiah] Do what you wanna do.
[Jamel] As we talked with everyone,
one phrase kept coming up.
You at least gotta stick
around for tomorrow.
- Tomorrow, we're having a rally.
- [Jamel] Do I have to come to the rally?
- A rally going on.
- We are having a rally.
[Jamel] I don't know
about rallies, man.
We rally, rally, rally.
- Hard maybe.
- Hard maybe.
[Jamel] We will be
with you in spirit.
I like the energy.
Maybe you don't fully
understand what the rally is.
[Jamel] They held a town
rally every week in hopes
that it would bring an NBA
team to their town of 17.
- Ready, everybody?
- [all] Yeah!
Jamel, what do you
think, "Hi, Mom"?
- Nice to meet you.
- What's up, Mom?
Are they crazy?
Better than what I
thought they were doing.
Kind of like it now.
Once I figured out what they were
talking about, I kind of liked it.
They were definitely delusional,
but aren't we all?
Why are NBA fans so passionate?
Childhood.
You know, when you're growing up, you
need to attach yourself to something,
and these different teams
help them become one,
and then they see the big
family of whatever team that is.
So, I think you-you
start to obsess over that
because it's like now it's
I... my family has expanded,
not just in my community, but just
around the country and the world.
[Jamel] Earl offered us a
place to stay for the night.
He also offered to fix our tire.
With the help of this odd little
white man, we was back up.
NBA family runs deep.
[Josiah] Hey, you think
Darius need a cover?
Nah, I think the
camera keeps him warm.
Cool. Alright, man,
well, let's do this.
We got a long day ahead of us.
Time for some shuteye.
Good night, brother.
[claps hands]
- [Josiah claps hands]
- [Josiah] No, wait, hold up, hold up.
We not brothers.
[claps hands]
[Jamel claps hands]
Alright, look, I know we're
not, like, brothers brothers.
Can I say "bro"? Does
that still count?
Let me sleep on it.
[claps hands]
[Josiah claps hands]
Are you afraid of the dark?
I mean, a little
bit, but, like...
since we all in here
together, I'm good with it.
[claps hands]
That night, while we slept,
Botto Porter struck again...
playing into the biggest and
oldest debate, and it worked.
- Oh, come on. It's only one debate.
- It's too easy.
It's-It's... Like, what...
Whoa, classic debate.
- Who's the best player? Michael or LeBron?
- That's right. Michael or LeBron.
Michael Jordan, LeBron
James, who's the GOAT?
[speaker] I'm a 'Bron fan. You
know, somebody's a Jordan fan.
[Jamel] He hacked
NBA Twitter legends
and spread incendiary rumors
designed to turn the
community against one another.
Botto knew just what to post
to set NBA Twitter ablaze.
[dramatic music playing]
It was chaos.
NBA Twitter was on fire.
[Chris Haynes] Sources have told me
that the basketball Twitter world
is being attacked.
I'm hearing news is being
spread that's false,
memes have gone missing, and
accounts are being hacked
and, apparently...
What the [bleep]?
I just tweeted a porn link.
[LaJethro Jenkins]
Scary times, dawg.
If anybody's going to solve
this, it's Josiah, bro.
The king of NBA
Twitter, of course.
He's the only person that can
get this figured out, man.
[Jamel claps hands]
You think if we fall asleep
at the exact same time,
we'll all end up
in the same dream?
Man, I could not
get used to this.
[Josiah] Not at all.
[Jamel] Breakfast
was good, though.
[Josiah] Them biscuits
was better than Popeye's.
I ain't even going to front.
[Jamel] Whoa, calm down.
[Josiah] You right, you right.
- [Jamel] And then this...
- Ta-da.
[Jamel] Whoa.
Good morning, gentlemen.
How'd just sleep?
Tires are full of air,
tank is full of gas.
She's all ready for
your wonderful trip.
- [Josiah] Man, thanks, bro.
- Of course.
- [Jamel] Appreciate you a lot, man.
- Pleasure to meet you.
- Thanks.
- Pleasure to meet you.
[Jamel] How long did you
say 'til we got to Phoenix?
[Josiah] Probably about two
hours or maybe even four.
You're sure of this now?
I mean, as sure as one
man could be of anything.
Well, you're driving like
you know where you're going.
[Josiah] Hey, Jamel.
Is that our people?
- [residents] Bring a team to Dukes!
- [Jamel] Yeah!
- [residents] Bring a team to Dukes!
- [leader] Say what?!
[residents] Bring
a team to Dukes!
Bring a team to Dukes. Ah!
- [Josiah] Bring a team to Dukes.
- I know that.
- [Josiah] Bring a team to Dukes.
- Say what?
I'm sure they got room for
a stadium at the very least.
[Josiah] I'm going to
miss them dudes, man.
I'll probably never go back to
Dukes ever again in my life, but...
- That's real.
- ...I will tell tales of their compassion.
I hope to never see this town again
[snapping fingers]
We were back on the road
again, heading to Phoenix
to sneak into the secret
underground meeting,
trying to see if this goat
character was responsible
for stealing J.R. squints.
Meme, meme
Singing helped pass the time.
What you mean?
Meme, meme, meme
Are we friends?
Yes, we are friends
- Ooh.
- Not quite brothers yet
- But friends
- That's okay with me
[Josiah] Nonetheless
Hey, uh, you mind
grabbing me some pretzels?
Actually, yeah, pretzels
do sound good, man.
- I'll be right back.
- Many thanks.
[Jamel sighs]
Alright, here we are.
[sighs] This is
going to end bad.
- [dramatic music playing]
- [Josiah] Hey.
- [Jamel] Hey.
- They only had one bag left.
- We drove to Phoenix.
- [Jamel] We are in...
- [Josiah] We are in Phoenix.
- [Jamel] This is Phoenix.
- [Josiah] Yes.
- [Jamel] It looks just like Phoenix.
We arrived in Phoenix, and we
got ready to go undercover.
Basketball cameras, check.
Headband cam...
check.
Mustache, check.
That ain't it, dawg.
[Jamel] But also vetoed.
[Josiah] You got this, Jel.
- I got this.
- [Josiah] Remember your training.
[on radio] Bro, why
you walking like that?
[Jamel] What do you
mean? This is normal.
This is how people
walk all the time.
[Josiah] Alright, if
everything's good,
give me a thumbs up
in your headband cam.
[Jamel] I don't know.
I'm freaking out, man.
Oh, I should have learned to
trade. I'm not sure about this.
[Josiah] Bro, just breathe,
alright. Relax. Count to three.
[Jamel] [counts rapidly]
One, two, three.
[Josiah] Jamel, you were
built for this moment.
[Jamel] Alright, that
helped. Thanks, man.
Oh, man, they got security.
[Josiah] Jamel,
remember your training.
- [security] Hold up, player.
- [Jamel] Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I'm here for the, uh,
internet basketball meetup.
What? Oh. No, man.
Come on.
[Jamel] I'm the president of
the Jamel Johnson fan club.
- Who?
- Jamel, you're going off-script.
[Jamel] You don't
know Jamel Johnson?
There's no such thing as
the Jamel Johnson fan club.
- The player?
- [Jamel] The prince of Twitter?
[Josiah] You're about
to get us caught, dawg.
[Jamel] The king of Coles.
I can show you some clips. Yo, he
got some standup at the airport.
You know what, man?
Nah, just-just go ahead.
[Jamel] Oh, you sure?
- I could email it to you.
- [security] No, we good.
- We good. We alright.
- [Jamel] Alright, thanks, brother.
Alright, brother,
you're in the door.
Phase one, complete. Now
it's time for phase two.
Get your mind right
and your game tight.
[Jamel] [whispering] Okay, so
I'm-I'm seeing a draft pick.
He hasn't moved. Uh,
he's just standing there.
Okay, I'm going in.
[people chattering]
Baseball twitter? I
don't even like baseball.
Alright, this is even more serious
than we could have possibly imagined.
Be careful.
[Jamel] What you're
about to see is some
of the most scummiest,
most crummiest, bummiest...
Man, I ain't never seen
losers losing like this.
[Jamel gasps]
My God!
[indistinct chatter]
But alas, I had a job to do.
[member] I want you to
write. Win a real ring.
Alright, Mela, you
know what time it is.
Get the basketball
cameras in place.
Come on, Jamel.
- Lock in.
- [Jamel] ba*ls for the table.
How y'all doing,
folks? Basketball?
But of course.
[whispering] Okay, I'm
going to go mingle.
See who we're working with.
NBA Twitter, it's a
beautiful mix of-of-of minds
with, you know, sometimes
outlandish opinions.
I'm telling you, man, you
came to the right place.
I got the tapes. Steph Curry ain't a
Hall of Famer, that's what I think.
Alright, Jamel, look, you're
coming up on a hot taker.
All they do is spout
hot takes for a living.
The Magic are title contenders.
[Jamel] The meeting was
filled with representatives
from every corner
of NBA Twitter.
Good and bad. Mostly bad.
The freaks were out.
You, uh, trying to buy
some jersey knockoffs?
[Amin] The photoshoppers.
You want to see Kevin
Durant and Kyrie Irving
in a Laker uniform?
[Jamel] You're the
guy who does that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can
get you anything you need.
Put Giannis on the Lakers,
LeBron's on the Bulls.
Been real popular recently.
Then you got people that are
just completely off their rocker
and not ashamed about it, right?
Like, to be a fan is to
be short for fanatic,
so sometimes that's
what you get.
You know, uh,
you know the Raptors
mascot, Stripes?
- [Jamel] Hell yeah.
- I'm his cousin, uh, Reggie.
[Jamel] Nice to meet you.
Mascots, we're people, you know?
- [Jamel] Well, most of the time.
- Alright, you're good.
And, of course, somebody just
stole the basketball camera.
[Jasmine] Stan Twitter
is when you stan
for, like, one player.
- [Jamel] Top five of all time.
- All time?
Michael Jordan, MJ,
M. Jordan, Michael J.
- Bill Murray.
- [Jamel] Ah. Too slow.
Hi, my little cuties.
It's me, your girl.
Alright, Jamel, look, you're
coming up on a content creator.
Whatever you do, do not let
them blow your cover, dawg.
Remember your training, Jamel.
And I am here with...
- Randy Brondelo.
- Yes!
And tell me, tell me,
what are you here?
- What are you repping?
- I am here.
I'm the president of the
Jamel Johnson Fan Club.
- Okay.
- My name is Randy Brondelo.
I'm Sandy Brondelo's
twin brother.
- No relation.
- Okay.
Darius, your man's tripping.
- What is the deal with Jamel?
- Oh, man, Jamel Johnson,
one of the funniest
comedians working.
You don't have to
watch basketball
to know who's going to win.
Alright, Jamel, you're
dealing with a stat nerd.
They put the "a**l"
in "analytics."
They're nerds. They
don't like basketball.
X is dribbles per
diameter of the field.
[Jasmine] I don't care
about percentages.
Like, on any given
night, you can get hot.
Ask any real ball player.
[Jamel] Have you touched
a ball? A basketball?
Have you ever touched
one with your hands?
Not my hands.
A writer, a thinker...
- Okay.
- ...a lover.
Supposed to be asking about J.R.
[Jamel] Can you tell me where you
were the night the meme was gone?
What are you asking?
[Jamel] Can you tell me where you
were when the meme went missing?
[whispering] I got my theories.
There is a secret society
within this secret society.
See those guys over there?
They won't talk to me.
You want to talk
about missing things?
You want to talk about missing
people? I have a question for you.
- Where's Sasquatch?
- [Jamel] Sasquatch?
The Sonics mascot, Sasquatch,
disappeared 15 years ago.
What was your name, Randy?
Yeah, Randy.
Where's Sasquatch?
One of my fans just
tweeted back at me.
Jamel thinks the Girl
Scouts are overrated.
- [stammering]
- So, it said that...
- [Jamel] I'm going to leave.
- Excuse me. Wait, hold up, Randy!
[Jamel] [whispering] For the
record, I love the Girl Scouts.
My fault, dawg.
It's getting crazy in here.
I might have got some
intel, but honestly, dawg,
people in here are kind of sus.
I put one basketball
camera in place,
but before I could
place the second ball...
- [gong rings]
- ...I was interrupted.
[Josiah] [on radio] Alright,
Jamel, just play it cool. Be cool.
[Jamel] I'm being very normal.
What's happening? What's
happening, Satchel?
Mr., Mr., Mr. Bolo.
Sit down and make yourself
one with the nerds.
- [Jamel] Hey, hey.
- [Josiah] Be a squeenie.
[Jamel] How are y'all?
How are y'all doing?
Get the basketball
cameras in place.
[people chattering]
[Jamel] Centerpiece
complete, you know?
[people chattering]
[person shouts]
Huh? Is that the
goat? Is that who...
He's a goat, not
like a little kid?
[leader] Today's meeting
has officially begun.
Now...
who's that guy?
[tense music playing]
Is that Jamel Johnson?
[Jamel] Yes, it is.
Thank you, finally.
Yeah, it's me.
Alright, D, he's been
compromised. Gotta go in.
[leader] Jamel, you have...
[Jamel] My name is Randy
on Uber, guys. Don't trip.
- [leader] ...17 followers...
- [people laughing]
[leader] ...with
four million tweets.
[member] I trusted you, man.
[Jamel] I never once told
you how many followers I had.
I'm sorry, Jamel, but I'm going
to have to ask you to leave.
We could either do
this the easy way...
or we could do this
the Artest way.
[people chattering]
[leader] King Josiah.
[Josiah] Simmer
down. Simmer down.
[leader] Or should I
say "former king"...
here to challenge
me for the throne.
Keep a cool booty, my new
boy. I don't want no smoke.
I'm just trying to
find J.R. squints.
May I read you today's
agenda out loud, please?
- So that you may hear.
- [Josiah] If you know how to read, cool.
[leader] Today's
agenda is as follows.
Gotta lose one prompt.
Clown steps, new shoes.
Speculate on what team James
Harden will go to next.
Cite examples on
Mamba mentality.
A quick 10 on the real
goat, Austin Reaves.
- [Josiah] That boy is good.
- [leader] And finally, the main topic,
and the most important...
resume our investigation
on whom is terrorizing
NBA Twitter.
[Jamel] Damn, he said "whom."
That's really good grammar.
[leader] So, uh, with
all due respect...
if you don't have any leads
that are going to help us
with our investigation,
would you mind, uh,
leaving and letting us resume?
'Cause we have a
lot to get through.
And my mom's coming
to pick me up at 6:00.
[Josiah] Somebody
here knows something.
[Jamel] Darius, get tight on
the Goat's face right here.
You know, I could ask you
the same thing, Josiah.
I mean, weren't you retired a
week before the meme went missing?
I mean, off the grid.
Where were you?
[Jamel] This was
going south fast.
They were turning on Josiah.
We were in trouble.
And I knew what I had to do.
Time for me to come clean.
[people shouting]
Silence! Silence!
It wasn't Josiah, alright?
[influencer] Why the hell
should we listen to you?
- You're a nobody.
- Loser.
[Josiah] Yo, yo, hold up,
hold up, hold up, man.
I'm not just going to let
y'all slander my boy like that.
Jamel is somebody.
He's the most loyal dude I know.
He's the prince of
the NBA Twitter,
but most importantly, he's
my brother, Brothers Johnson.
- [people chattering]
- You said it?
[Josiah] Now what
were you going to say?
[sighs]
- It was me, man.
- [secret society member] What?
[Jamel] I'm sorry, I did it.
I know, son. I know.
I'm-I'm sorry.
It wasn't even...
It wasn't supposed
to go down like this.
I knew your last tweet
meant a lot to you,
and I took the meme 'cause
I wanted you to come back
and because you was talking
crazy, dawg, r-retiring.
You trying to win
NAACP awards. I just...
You the king of Twitter, man.
That's your throne, dawg.
Now you got a little kid
with a, uh, LL Cool J
hat on up there, alright?
I just wanted you to come back,
and then Botto Porter
went rogue on me, dawg.
I paid him to take the meme.
I haven't even seen it.
It never even came
to my emails, bro.
He went rogue. He went left.
He started doing
stuff on his own.
I ain't have nothing to do with
none of that other stuff, man.
- I'm sorry, Josiah.
- [people clamoring]
Silence, silence.
I can't believe you played
me like this, Jamel.
You broke my heart, man.
Yo, Darius, cut the
camera, dawg. Let's go.
Darius, don't cut, man.
- Don't cut, man.
- [people clamoring]
You know we need this, man.
You better not cut, man.
Don't do it, man! I swear...
[dramatic music playing]
[Botto Porter Jr.] Now
that I have your attention,
I hereby demand that the NBA
move the Sacramento Kings
out of Sacramento.
No state needs four teams,
and frankly, they're
too good for Sacramento.
Once I know you're serious,
I'll tell you
where to send them.
Botto out.
In a disturbing turn of
events, a video has surfaced
of a man in a goat
mask demanding
that Adam Silver move
the Sacramento Kings
outside of Sacramento in
exchange for the return
of the J.R. squints meme.
Okay, okay, things in
Phoenix went... bad.
Straight up horrible.
Yes, I hired Botto Porter
to steal J.R. squints,
but the rest was on him, and
he's still out there somewhere.
I was so close to
solving this case,
but I couldn't focus.
It had been a rough
week since Phoenix.
I, uh... Well, I got memed.
I'm sorry, Josiah.
Oh, I got memed.
I'm sorry, Josiah.
Oh, they memed me so bad, y'all.
I'm sorry, Josiah.
It means something.
It's all in front of
me. It's all here.
Josiah.
If we find Botto
Porter, I'll be free.
I'm sorry, Josiah.
The memes haunted me.
- [gasps]
- [screams]
I'm sorry, Josiah.
[upbeat music playing]
I finally realized there
was someone out there
who knew what I
was going through.
So, we shot one more interview.
I was hitting the driver
pretty good today,
but my short irons was
really messing me up.
[groans]
Uh, front nine were terrible.
Back nine was pretty good.
[Jamel] So, obviously,
you've heard
about your infamous
squinting meme going missing.
Meme, what meme? What
are you talking about?
[Jamel] I got memed too,
and the internet's
making fun of me
and I was wondering
if you had any advice
on how to deal with all that.
Is that what this is about?
I thought, I thought I
was talking about golf.
[Jamel] J.R., my life is
over. Stop talking about golf.
Alright, man, you want to
talk about this meme sh*t,
I got places to be.
Real quick, let's get
it over with. Come on.
The reason I chose
the J.R. squints meme,
I think when you look at
the scope of NBA Twitter,
all the amazing content,
the amazing memes,
all the things that have
arisen out of this community,
J.R. squints really embodies
what this community
is all about, right?
J.R., excellent
basketball player, legend,
you know, world champion, very
soft-spoken, very intelligent,
and what that meme essentially
conveys is that he's not intelligent.
From the outside looking in,
you create this narrative
or this perspective of J.R.,
and that-that cou-couldn't be
any further from the truth.
Well, I've been to school,
I'm a full-time student now,
a full-time dad with four kids,
so, uh, I don't really have
time to k-keep up with memes.
Sometimes it's hard because
my mentions go crazy,
but I just stay off of
it for a couple days.
Every day, it's
something different,
whether it be me
or somebody else.
People just make you the butt
of the joke and run with it.
I like... It-It
was kind of weird
because it was, like,
funny at the same time,
but it also was just
like, "Damn, like,
I'm the butt of the joke again."
It doesn't even have to be
something accurate or true.
Prime example, "Henny God."
I don't drink Hennessy.
I'm not a Henny drinker.
So, when people continuously
call me that from a meme
when I'm walking around
with-with my kids
and somebody yells,
"Oh, Henny God,"
it's like, "Daddy,
why did they..."
Like, I gotta explain that.
I have to have that
conversation now
because of some dumb
sh*t somebody else did.
I don't like that.
[Josiah] You know, I'm-I'm just
as guilty as everybody else.
I used to use that
meme all the time.
And then you start to really
realize how these memes
kind of will follow people
into their real world
and their real lives
and a stigma that gets
created around it.
Alright, man, tee
time in 15 minutes.
I didn't do this sh*t. I
hope you find out who did.
But I see y'all later.
[Jamel] Talking with J.R.
helped clear my head.
I was finally able to focus.
I was starting to think J.R.
Squints was better off lost.
And it was time for
me to hang all this up
and start refereeing
little league games.
But just then, just like that,
hit me like Kermit Washington.
I knew who Botto Porter was.
I knew who Botto Porter was.
The answer was in
the film all along.
So, I invited Josiah over
- to watch a cut...
- [knocking on door]
...to see if the Brothers
Johnson could ride one last time.
Hey, come on in, man.
Good to see you brother,
man. It's been a few minutes.
Thank you for stopping
by. It really means a lot.
Look, bro, only reason I'm here is
'cause you say you know who did it.
- Think I do.
- I'm telling you right now.
It better be O.J.
- O.J.?
- Mayo.
Okay, I mean, that's possible.
He does have dual citizenship.
Look, thanks for coming again.
I'm excited to show you this.
I think all the answers you're
looking for are inside of this.
Check this out, yeah.
[upbeat music
playing on video]
I'm going to be announcing my
retirement from NBA Twitter.
[Jamel] [in video] I just hired
a hacker named Botto Porter Jr.
He's going to take
the J.R. squints meme.
This is going to
make Josiah so upset,
he's going to have no choice
but to go find it with me.
We'll meet members of the
NBA Twitter community.
He'll see how much
he's loved and missed,
have no choice but to come back.
The plan is flawless.
Let's begin.
[Josiah] Hold on, man. Why
is this camera so shaky?
I... Look, I asked Darius to
sh**t in a little grittier way.
This is documentary.
We're documentarians.
[Josiah] Wait, is this you
breaking into my house?
I wouldn't call it breaking in.
I would call it
beginning a movie.
Yo, he said yes. I cannot
believe this dude said yes.
We are making this movie.
Okay, we got a suspect now.
It's Mero. He's
coming over here soon.
Josiah just left
to get charcuterie.
Seems like he's
really into this, man.
- We've been bonding.
- [knocking on door]
Oh, whoa, one-one second.
Working with Josiah Johnson,
I'll-I'll be honest,
when I tapped him
for this project,
I, I saw a childlike innocence
that I needed to bring
onto screen.
A lot of times, I would be
off camera rattling keys.
This upset him greatly,
but it brought out
some fantastic work.
Some of our finest
scenes ended with him
wanting to hit me in the
face like Draymond Green.
Okay, I'll change
it. I know. I know.
I'll change... I can
feel you looking at me.
I, I got you.
You know, I don't think
people realize how hard it is
to carry a secret around
with you, the burden.
To stand next to your brother...
and lie directly to their face
for days and weeks on end.
It's rough, it's hurtful...
it's costly.
Good night, brother.
- [claps hands]
- Okay. Alright.
We're here in Dukes,
the middle of nowhere.
Things are going not great.
I would say out of hand.
Uh, Botto Porter took 10 more
memes. We got a flat tire.
I don't know what's
going to happen next.
- [Josiah claps hands]
- Huh?
- [Josiah] Jamel, what are you doing?
- [Jamel] Huh?
[Josiah] Why are you
talking to yourself?
[Jamel] I was, I
was... I sleep talk.
[Jamel] [sighs] This
is going to end bad,
worse than I imagined.
I'm officially the villain.
I might get locked up for this.
They might throw me in the
Hague, dawg, but it's fine.
If I gotta be the
villain, that's fine.
I love villains. Scar.
I'm going to tell
him soon, I swear.
- [on video] We are in...
- [Josiah] [on video] We are in Phoenix.
Little warm in here. You
know what? Actually...
I've been in here for, like, a
day straight. I'm pretty hungry.
I'm going to go get some
food. You want something?
- Nah, I'm good.
- You sure?
I'm going to go get some food.
I'm going to go to the bathroom.
Then I'm going to go come back,
but then I might go to the
bathroom again before that.
[stammers] You just...
Okay, I got it.
Alright. Go ahead and watch.
I'm sorry, Josiah.
I do feel an amount of shame
for some of the actions that
I took to make this project.
When I hired Botto
Porter to take the meme,
my goal was just to have Josiah
return to his rightful place,
to keep the internet
ecosystem moving properly.
And when Botto went rogue, I-I
felt I had to-to keep my secret,
and it had to be done
for the greater good.
Well, I did it for you.
NBA Twitter without
Josiah Johnson is
a beast with no nation.
And now, there's
a madman out there
trying to move the Kings
to who knows where.
They just got the beam.
I thought this would work.
I'm sorry.
Alright. I think that's a cut.
Yeah, we're going to cut.
Look, I know rule
one was no lactose.
I made 'em take the cheese
off if you want some.
It's actually just a pile
of sauce in this box.
So, I checked it out,
and I'm going to
be real with you.
I still don't like
that you did it,
but I get why you did
it and I respect it.
- Damn, you mean that?
- You finally get that dap you wanted.
Hey, man, that
means a lot, dawg.
I really appreciate you
coming with me on this.
I know, I-I-I [bleep] up,
but we, uh, we here now.
Uh, y-y-you figure
out who did it yet?
Think I did.
Really, Jamel, it all comes
down to motive, right?
For Botto Porter, it was
never about the J.R. squints
or any meme for that matter.
It was about one
thing. The Kings.
Mm. Sinister.
So, now the real question
is move the Kings to where?
And I know a place
that needs a team.
[Jamel] Mm.
Yo, Darius, watch this. I'm
about to do my hood voice.
Somebody finna get exposed.
[Josiah] Open up
the door, hammy!
Yeah, yeah, get more brolic.
I'm going to do
the white one now.
[knuckles rapping]
- Newsflash, bucko. Open up.
- Hiii.
Sasquatch.
[Sasquatch] Good day,
gentlemen. May I...
[Jamel] Reggie the Raptor
was right. Are you serious?
[Josiah] Look, bro, we
know you Botto Porter Jr.
- [Jamel] Huh.
- [Josiah] Don't play around.
- [Jamel] Yeah.
- Uh, no, I'm not familiar with that name.
[Jamel] Oh, you're
not familiar?
- Expose this fool.
- Oh, he's not familiar?
- Expose this fool.
- Oh, you don't know?
[both shouting]
Scooby-Doo style!
- Earl?
- Yeah, yeah.
Yes, I'm sorry.
I mean, let me explain.
Dawg, we danced together. Is
he, is he serious right now?
- We danced. We greeted. We greeted.
- Is this real?
First of all, can I
have my mask back?
- Yes, take it.
- Thank you.
I'll explain everything. Look,
look, look, look, look, look.
I'll explain everything.
Let's just take a step.
We gon' take a step
to make sure you ain't
got no weapons, bro.
- We know how you get down.
- [Jamel] That was real wise.
I'm a pacifist. But, look,
I can explain everything.
The people of Dukes,
we figured, you know,
hey, you guys were touched
and charmed by the people
of-of-of the Dukes, of Dukes.
The Kings will come and
they will see the Dukes
and decide to be our team,
and then, we'll be
called the Sasquatches.
Y'all got 17 people.
I asked you to take one meme.
You try to take a team?
Yeah, well, you
told me to do it.
[Jamel] No, I didn't.
I told you to take one.
No, no, not you.
You. You told me to do it.
[both stammering]
- Darius?
- [Earl Moore] Darius did it.
Tell 'em, Darius.
Tell 'em the truth.
[Jamel] So, here's
what happened.
Darius, in his infinite wisdom,
saw that one meme going
missing wasn't enough
to make a masterpiece
worthy of Josiah.
So, Darius reached
out to Botto, Earl,
and told him to take it further.
Steal more memes, go wild.
In the chaos, Darius
would get his film
and Earl would get his team.
He even told Earl our route
so he could scatter
nails in the road.
Darius faked the MSG logo
to point us towards Mero
who was also in on it.
Darius was the one
who found the bar,
who leaked the clip.
Darius did it all.
Man, give me that damn camera.
[Earl] Whoa, whoa, whoa, careful,
careful. Careful with Darius.
That is not a
rental. Hey, hey!
Yo, dawg, what you
grabbing me for?
- Let me go.
- Hey, get up off me, man.
- Let me go.
- Dawg, this was you the whole time?
Of course, it's me.
Bro, you let us run
around for weeks?
- You didn't say a word, man?
- I didn't let us.
I let you run around for weeks.
I've been behind the scenes
working on this thing for months
'cause you've been
messing up the whole time.
Okay, okay, all this
name-calling is not necessary.
- I think we should all be friends.
- Hey, Earl, go in the house.
Darius, bro, you played me.
[Josiah] And I'm directing
now. Angrier, angrier.
Guys, guys, guys, is
everything okay out here?
I know you're still yelling.
Yo, get in there.
[Josiah] Earl, Earl,
this is a Black thing.
[Earl] Okay, I'll be inside.
- Earl, we're being Black right now, Earl.
- Earl, Earl, I got this.
You bought him
the KD throwbacks?
- Of course, I did.
- With the mismatched shorts
with the home jersey
and the away shorts.
- Of course.
- You did that for him?
How come we didn't do them, uh,
matching Halloween costumes, man?
We were supposed to be twins.
You wanted me to be Danny talking
about you wanted to be Arnold.
- He's gotta be Arnold, Jamel.
- [Jamel] Earl!
- Whoa!
- If you don't get out of my face,
you are going to be a sophomore
in Montrose Christian
when I'm done with you.
- Don't know what that means.
- Get in the house!
- Okay, I believe you.
- It's a very good reference, Earl!
[Josiah] Hey, man,
hey, hold up, man.
Jamel, take this camera. I got
something I gotta get off my chest.
[Jamel] Hold on, dawg.
Be care... Whoa, whoa, be
careful with my camera.
Hold up. I'm in frame?
[Jamel] To the right.
- We should be slating this.
- [Jamel] Other right.
- You see what I'm saying?
- [Jamel] Okay, go.
- You're better than that.
- I am better than that, D.
- Hey, why y'all disrespect me like that?
- Yeah, I don't know about him,
- but we going to put him...
- [Jamel] Action.
So, I guess all I could
say is, uh, thank you.
Just watch, we'll
be at the Oscars.
We'll be, uh, we'll be
everywhere. Just watch.
As long as we leave,
you know, at home.
Can I do my knuckle
up thing for you?
- You know it.
- I've been practicing.
[Jamel] What y'all mean y'all
about to leave me at home?
Yo, take this camera
from me, dawg.
Thank you. I've been
in the gym with mine.
Hey, bro, for real, you
ain't going to let me come
- to the Oscars with y'all, man?
- Of course, you coming.
You just been slacking lately...
- [Josiah] You have been slacking, Jamel...
- I know my haircut f*cked up right now,
but I thought I
was... Come on, man.
[Josiah] Jamel, you wasted
the [bleep] on your haircut.
[bleep].
We supposed to be a
PG-13 documentary.
One F word. Ah, man.
[Josiah] We only get
one [bleep], Jamel,
and you already wasted that
[bleep] saying [bleep].
See?
Okay, I see the points
that you guys are making.
[Josiah] Now we gotta
bleep these other [bleep]
'cause you wasted the good one.
I'm... Everybody, I'm
sorry. I'll do the editing.
[bleep], Jamel.
[Josiah] You got Darius Miles out
here saying, "[bleep], Jamel."
I-I'm really sorry about that.
I didn't want it
to end like this.
I thought the movie was
going to end differently.
Yo, I'm going to be real.
I'm still mad at y'all, but
we need to get the shot.
Nah, that's real.
Darius, thanks for
finishing this, man.
[Darius Miles] Of course.
Reconsider taking me to the
Oscars, that's what I'll say.
Hey, but look, I was
thinking about what's next.
I got another movie
idea. Check this out.
Zero Bars.
We follow Gilbert Arenas
through a career in battle rap.
You going to need a
bulletproof vest for that.
That ain't no problem.
You know how Gil get down.
Well, what are you going
to do, man? You retired.
- What's next?
- I don't know, man, I don't know.
But I've been
thinking about that.
I'm taking my Black a*s
back to NBA Twitter.
Ohhh!
We back. He's back,
he's back, he's back.
Oh, and the green clean green!
[upbeat music playing]
With Josiah back and
the memes restored,
NBA Twitter returned to
normal, for better or worse.
But we had to make sure
nothing like this could
ever happen again,
so we gathered the
best of NBA Twitter
and put it all in a time capsule
where nobody could hurt it
or put ads on it and
set off to put it
where no hacker or billionaire
could ever find it.
[Josiah] You know, I'm
going to be honest, Jamel,
when we first set off
on this adventure,
I thought we were going
to fail completely.
Not me per se, but
you and Darius.
[Jamel] Yeah, that's true.
[Josiah] And even though
you broke my heart,
betrayed my trust...
- lied to me in my face...
- Yeah.
- ...sent me on a wild goose chase...
- Mm.
...knowing you were said
goose we were chasing...
Mm-hm.
...you alright with me, my man.
[Jamel] It means a
lot to hear that, man.
- [Josiah] I would help you dig, but...
- No, no, it's cool.
[Josiah] ...I still got some back
issues from that drive to Phoenix.
We love you, NBA Twitter.
[capsule clangs]
[Jamel vocalizing]
We tweet about basketball,
the game we love,
from CP3 all the
way to the glove.
[Jamel vocalizing]
We embrace casuals
and die-hard fans...
and even the occasional
Steph Curry stan.
[Jamel vocalizing]
We love you, NBA Twitter,
you are the best,
but now we must lay this
time capsule to rest.
End of song
[exhales] Let's do it.
[Jamel] You're
welcome, America.
You're welcome...
["Throw Me the Ball" by
Up With People playing]
[Jamel] ...and
thanks for watching.
Hey, give me your
cheers, fellas
Come on now
Looking back on the days
That the big boys
used to put me down
Reminds me of the
time I became the talk
Of the whole playground
I was a whiz at basketball,
but no one ever knew
So one day, I
took my notebook
To show them all
what I could do
Saying, hey, y'all,
throw me the ball
[Josiah claps hands]
Hey, you ever ate one of Russell
Wilson's sandwiches from Subway?
[Jamel claps hands]
To be clear, you're talking
about the Dangerwich?
[Josiah] That is the sandwich.
Was it the, uh, Nike Hoops
Jamboree and Sleepover?
[Josiah and crew laughs]
We got a question here from
Cabron James from Na Murant.
Dawg, there's no way Patrick
Beverley got traded for Kevin Durant.
Yeah, he has been
tweeting a lot.
- [Josiah] No AC in the street van.
- Let's go.
It's a little warm in the van.
My character is informed.
- I'm tired of this country-a*s town.
- What the f*ck?
And that's why Rodman played
with nipple clamps on.
I once ordered a Detlef
Schrempf at a restaurant.
I did not expect Gerald Wilkins
and Obama to show
up, but they did.
[Josiah claps hands]
Hey, bro, you
afraid of the dark?
Yeah.
Alright, bro. Hey, we good, man.
I used to be in the Boy Scouts.
First rule of Boy Scouts,
don't hate it if
you ain't taste it.
- [Jamel claps hands]
- Okay, it's not so much the dark,
but just, like,
darkness, you understand?
- You feel the difference?
- That's real.
Are you a Yung Hood
debutante or am I that?
This film is about
emotion, regret, sorrow...
horniness.
- [crew laughing]
- [engine cranking]
You cool?
You want a bigger couch?
[Jamel] Sorry, I
touched something.
What's up, Darius?
I'm looking forward to this season.
It's going to be a great season.
I know you over there
talking about me, man.
Man, come on.
Get up in here.
Pardon me. I just want
to get back on your team.
I got your next movie.
Knuckleheads: The Movie.
You see it?
Thank you.
[Jamel] What's your
top five cheeses?
Number one cheese, halloumi.
- Highly underrated.
- Yeah. I love...
You know about halloumi?
[Jamel] Of course, I know
halloumi. I thought you knew me.
This is jurst the beginning.
- No.
- [Josiah] [laughing] Jurst.
Where is the meme?
- [Mero laughs]
- [Jamel] I'm sorry.
Please don't hit me.
I ain't going to get
caught up in your game.
I ain't the ops. I ain't a fed.
Rule 45, we gotta
tell each other
our deepest, darkest secrets.
- I don't even like basketball.
- What?
Josiah, you don't
want these problems.
sh*t.
I thought, I thought it
was part of the sh**t.
Where's Jamel?
[people applauding]
Hey, yo, throw me the ball
[car engine rumbling]
We back in business.
[gear clicks]
Yo, Darius, let's go.
[speaker] Good news, dawg. Starry
gave us money to make the film.
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Memes & Nightmares (2024)
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