01x05 - Episode 5

[bunniefuu]

What's a superintendent doing
breaking to Clinton's house?

She knew he was dead. Listen,
lady, I'm going to need you

to do whatever it is you do,
and get us out of this mess.

We've broken into the
superintendent's office.

Get on with it! What are
you doing? Taking pictures.

No, of evidence! Of things
that could connect her

to the Brightmarsh
g*ng, not knick-knacks!

6pm today to CH.

Care home - that must
be what CH stands for.

Oh!

It's her mum! Team
Day, on the case!

Day - Dom and Kay.
We're not doing that.

Did you m*rder DI Clinton Blair?

WATER SPLASHES

DULL CRASH

SHUTTER SNAPS

Dom! Dom!

Idris, can you get the
girls ready for school?

No, we only do that
on your birthday.

Dom! What?!

What's happening? Look at this
photo! Look at this photo!

What is it? It's one of the
photos I took in Edward's office.

You know, the one when we
knocked the plant over?

When YOU knocked the
plant over. Yes, OK. OK.

But look! Look at the
photo. Look at the frame.

"Mum - in loving memory."

In loving memory.
In loving memory!

If Edward's mum is dead,
then who was he visiting

at the old people's home?

You know what this means?

Team Day is back! Team
Day is back! Team...

Don't be burning the electricity
up on the lights! Yes, sorry!

Sorry, older Boomy...

SUBDUED VICTORY PUNCHES

I'm telling you, something's going
on. Them two PSCOs are talking.

They're working with Feds, fam.
Bro, we're working with the Feds.

Yeah, but they could be
working with other Feds.

They don't know sh*t.

What? Last night...

What, bruv?

You see that body that Boss
told me to get rid of? Yeah.

I got them to do it.

What the f*ck would you
do that for? I don't know.

Like all kinds of
reasons, innit?

Management delegation,
initiation, Soprano sh*t.

Couldn't get the childcare, man.

But it's cool. I'm handling it.

No, you're not going to do sh*t.

I'll deal with it. I'll talk to
Boss. No, no, no, I'm telling you.

Are you deaf? I just
said I'll deal with it.

Could Edwards have
two mums? What?

Could Edwards have two mums? Like
Quaker Joy in my inter-faith group.

She doesn't have two mums, Kay!

Then how is an old lady involved
in a police drugs racket?

That could just be a
pretence for her visiting.

Maybe she's seeing
somebody else there.

The whole place could
be a front for the g*ng.

How do you mean? I don't know.

Maybe... Maybe they're running
their deliveries out of there.

If they're dragging seniors into
this, they've just made my list.

Yep.

We got pay a visit
to that place.

You got something... Like what?
You've just got some sauce there.

Is it gone?

It's OK. OK.

PHONE BUZZES Oh, crap.

I got to go do something.

Something nice? Nope.

Pricey, we need to talk.

Dominique.

You have put me in an
unenviable position.

I'm a friend.

Maybe, at one point, you were
hoping for something more.

Can't blame me for that.

But I am first and
foremost police...

..community support officer.

My first love will
always be the law.

And if I suspect a crime,
it's my duty to report it.

Damn it. You're right.

We should have known better
than to bullshit you.

You're too good a cop.

Your suspicions are correct,
but your conclusions are wrong.

What's going on, Dom?

We are indeed working on something
and that something is indeed

connected to the death
of DI Clinton Blair.

I'm not authorised to say any
more. Authorised? Well, by whom?

Are you part of some
sort of operation?

I can't tell you any more.

I've already said too much.

Cut me in!

Please. I need it.

Just cut me in.

OK, the people we're working
with are aware of you

and your capabilities.

So, if the call comes, be ready.

I was born ready. Tell
them that. Really?

No, actually, don't. Yeah,
it sounds a bit sh*t.

It is sh*t. Yeah. All right.
Just saying. Yeah, OK, I get it.

Thank you, Dom. Thank you.

Whoa! Er, just kissing... No!
Too much information, sorry.

I just... Be ready. Right.

Thank you. Sorry. Yeah.

The plan is we want to volunteer.
So tea and chats with the old folk.

Talk to people, find
out what they know.

What if we find out nothing?
Find out nothing isn't an option.

What names are we
using? Dom and Kay!

Wait. Maybe, maybe we should
use different names. Like what?

Er, Sam and... Jay?

Good. Yes. OK.

Oh, am I Sam or Jay?

Just use our real
names, it's safer! OK.

"Hello. My name is Kay."

"Hello..." Your name, Kay. Yeah.

Good afternoon! My
name is Kay! Stop that!

Well, we're not looking
to convert anyone.

It's about us... Us... as
a church, to serve God...

God... through
serving the community.

Frankly, we're so understaffed,
I don't care if you do try

and convert them...

SHE GIGGLES ..to Islam!

LAUGHS LOUDLY

That's, uh, funny.

So, you are looking
for volunteers, then?

Oh, absolutely, yeah.
We've got a scheme for it.

Chingford Chatterboxes.
SHE GIGGLES

And you're the first,
which is exciting.

So, why don't we go for a tour?

Follow me.

We've been Best in Borough four
out of the past five years,

and we're CQC rated "excellent"
with a special commendation

for our en-suite bathrooms.

Food is all freshly prepared on site
using locally sourced ingredients.

All our residents are lovely.
It's like a big family,

it really is.

Give Mrs Elmsted a
wide berth, though.

She's very much
from another era.

Uh, yeah, I'm just
going to go to the loo.

Straight down the hall.
White cord when you're done,

please, not red. OK.

Tiptoe, Mrs Elmsted...

Oi. You looking for something?

No. No. Just... No. I'm good.

Well, what's your game, then?

You seem a little bit
young to be moving in.

Erm, me and my friend, we are
volunteering for my church.

Well, how's about volunteering
to sneak me into some snouts?

I literally have no
idea what you're saying.

Cigarettes, love. They're
like gold dust in here.

It's easier to get
a piss infection.

Well, that's lovely.

And I'm not going to smuggle
in your contraband, so...

Sorry. Well, maybe I'll have
a word with Linda, then,

about how you and your boyfriend
was discussing false names.

Benson and Hedges. Packet
of 20, king size. All right?

All right.

And he's not my boyfriend. So...

Card games are fine as long as
everyone's only betting buttons,

because we have had problems
with that in the past.

Now, I just need to get you
a couple of forms to fill in.

Stop. What are you doing?

Deliveries are meant
to be round the back.

Just leave it. Get out.

Bloody useless!

We can give you a hand with
those, Linda? Don't touch these!

Because...

Chingford Chatterboxes aren't
trained to take deliveries.

It's an insurance
nightmare. FALSE GIGGLE

Let's do these forms.
Into my office. Let's go.

OK?

Jason! Deal with this!

OK!

That was so weird!

Why was she so weird
about the boxes?

Maybe because they're
stuffed full of heroin!

Tomorrow, we need to find
out what's in those boxes.

This is a case for the
Chingford Chatterboxes!

Oh, my God. Do not start making
that a thing! It's a thing, Dom.

It's been a thing for a
long time! You're so wrong.

Uh, hello? Have you
come to apologise?

You'd just love that,
wouldn't you? Yes.

I've come to get some clean
pants, if that's OK with you.

Am I allowed to ask where
you stayed last night?

Well, I stayed at
a friend's house.

A male friend's house.

Now, does he ask for
any favours in return?

I honestly can't
say that he didn't.

Dom, can you pass me
a tea towel, please?

My God, Kay, I'm
supposed to be the guest!

Now, if you'll excuse
me, Morris, clean pants.

Dom, this is ridiculous...

I think someone's been
watching my dad's house.

Well, God's watching
all our houses, Dom.

Every window, every
room. Except bathrooms.

No, I mean, a van has been
parked outside our house.

I swear it's been
there for days.

13 grand...

13 grand! You stood
there in my office,

and we shook hands on 13
grand. Well, not literally,

it was the pandemic. But
that's what we agreed.

And a deal's a deal.

OK, that's it.

Let me. Hey, what is... Is that
a shank? No, it's not a shank!

It's a Leatherman.

It's heroin, right?
Is it heroin?

It's not heroin... Super
value meat and gravy.

Locally sourced ingredients?
This is what they've been hiding.

No. No, that's not what
they've been hiding.

There's probably heroin inside.
Definitely heroin inside, right?

There's heroin inside it. Yeah.

I'm sure we're going to get
heroin inside. Somewhere.

There's...

There's no heroin inside.

So you're telling me...

You're telling me that for two days,
we've been chasing tins of meat?

For two days, we've been
chasing tins of meat!

OK! Calm down.

All right? Hold that.

I'm going to go wash
my hands. Thoroughly!

Meet me outside.

Ooh, I'm vegan now!

PHONE BUZZES

Ah, sh*t.

Hello. You ain't been on your
corner in two days. Where you been?

Yeah.

No, we've been just trialling
this new selling method.

It's sort of like a cross
between Deliveroo and Uber Eats.

I'll tell you a secret.

Certain people are
getting nervous about you.

I don't think you're stupid
enough to play games.

Yeah. I hate games.

Well, you play stupid games...

..we'll k*ll you.

OK. Sure.

That's not quite how I
remember that saying going,

but OK. I'll see
you on Saturday.

Don't be late. Don't be short.

Don't be short. Got it.

SHARP WHISTLE

Sake...

I believe you've got
something for me.

Yep.

Here you go.

Smoke yourself to
death. OK? Thank you.

Yep... Officer.

I'm right, then?

I know a copper when I see one.

I was Old Bill
myself for 35 years.

Don't worry. Your
secret's safe with me.

You done me a favour.

I appreciate the salmon.

I'm sorry, what? Salmon.
Salmon and trout, snout.

OK, fine. Now I'll
do you a favour.

Now, that old bird you
were tailing yesterday,

her name is Celia Herrington.

I don't know much about her.
She keeps herself to herself.

But there's a story there.

I don't know what it is,
but I just got that feeling.

- You know what I mean?
- Yeah, I know what you mean.

Ooh, strong!

Good stuff.

CH isn't care home,
It's Celia Herrington.

The old lady. That's
who we need to focus on.

How do you know?
Intel from a CHIS.

What? An old dude told me.

Right, Celia Herrington...
HE STAMMERS AN ALERT

Marketing manager, Ontario.

Celia Herrington,
Pet Care, Leigh.

Celia Herrington, sex
worker, Bognor Regis.

Celia Herrington,
Celia Herrington...

Nope, she is not here.

Maybe she's not on Facebook.
Kay, you're telling me

there's a retired person
who isn't on Facebook?

Nah. Something's not right. Oh,
flip, I'm meant to be at church.

It's soul impact night.

We need to figure this out.

Or Breeze will literally impact
your soul with his hammer.

No, no, no. I'll
pray for a solution!

Thank you very much for coming.

You have come to receive, and
you have come to be blessed.

All right, God bless you
all. See you next week.

All right. Pastor! Yes. Amazing
service. Amazing service.

Honestly, I didn't
want it to stop.

It's really great to take a
deep dive into who begat who!

Thank you, Kayode. Thank you.
Can I just grab your radio mic?

Yes, absolutely.

I'm going to fix your lapel there.
God bless. God bless. Keep it up.

Yeah. Thank you, sir. Yeah.

Radio mic, Bluetooth.

It's small enough to be hidden,
and it will transmit back

to my laptop, so long
as it's in range.

Oh, OK.

Now, I've had a look at the
photos of Edward's diary,

and she's going to
Riverford tomorrow.

So if we use that to record
her and Celia Herrington, bang!

Hard evidence of whatever
it is they're talking about.

Take that to Thirsty Kirsty!

Not bad!

I always get the
best ideas in church!

Or in the toilet. Toilet, in
church, I'm basically Einstein.

HE CHUCKLES

BEEP

WHEELS SQUEAK

Oh!

Firm grip on the frame
with the right hand,

as the left hand comes up.

Now, a lovely
stretch right up...

Here we are. Your
hair looks nice.

OK, Dom, send the
text, send the text.

PHONE ALERT

Yes!

Over here? Yes, I'd just
like to see various plants.

OK.

STATIC CRACKLES

No, no, no, no. No signal.

Oh, come on.

Just turn around because if I
could see these beautiful...

PHONE ALERT

Sid! Do you ever try knocking?

It's old-fashioned,
but it still works.

Can I trust you? Ey?

Can I trust you?

The only thing you can trust in
this game is your own instincts.

I want to stand down. You
can't just stand down, Helen.

You knew that from the outset.

I did not know I'd have to
cover for the assassination

of a serving officer.

STATIC CRACKLES

Kitty, you've come back! I've
been waiting for you for so long.

Oh, get off me.

Just get off me! Nurse!

BEEP

Oh, yes, yes!

Mum doesn't know you.

We've know each other for years!

Nobody could love
you like I loved you.

Come on. Oh, come on.
Watch your step, darling.

Come on. Got a bit
excited there, didn't we?

Do you see the kind of thing
I have to put up with here?

Never grow old. No, no, no, no!

It's out of range.

It's out of range!

Sorry, excuse me.

You see here, they've cut
all this back far too early.

Sorry. Sorry, ladies
and gents, sorry.

I told them it's not supposed
to be for the cooking...

It's extra virgin.

Her grandson gave her a laptop,
and she's gone from not being able

to use it at all to running
what I'm told is called

an OnlyFans account.

Now, push me over here.

That's it. Where we
have a little privacy.

CROCKERY CLATTERS

Oi, mate! What are you doing?

What's going on?
Linda, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. I was, I
was trying to get Wi-Fi.

Some of the residents haven't seen
the man on the skateboard, uh,

drinking cranberry juice.

And I wanted to show them
because it's really feel good.

I'm really sorry. I'm going
to go to another room.

The signal's quite
weak in here, isn't it?

Look, I'm not here to negotiate.
I'm here because I want out.

That would be a
grave mistake, Helen.

I've made my decision.

Herbs, things like that.

There's some nice
plants over there.

OK. Roses.

OK, we can't use any of this.

This is nothing we can
take to Kirsty, anyway.

sh*t.

Maybe...

Maybe we should put the mic in
her bedroom. And maybe at night...

Dom... she might have something
more interesting. Dom!

We've got 48 hours left and
three grand's worth of gear.

We need to get out
there and sell.

Fine.

Meet me out the front. I just
have to thank someone first.

Hey, Sid, it's me.

I just wanted to say thank
you for what you did.

You were great.

It didn't really work the
way we wanted. But, you know.

Sid?

Sid, can you hear me?

Sid. sh*t!

Erm, help? Someone help.

Nurse!

Sid?

Ohhh.

Was that your first cadaver?

You do get used to it in
this game, I'm afraid.

Not a pleasant man,
conversationally.

But he will be missed.

He'd had a big operation
earlier this year.

Coronary artery bypass.

You mustn't be
thinking you caused it.

Well, I wasn't until just now.

So, thank you.

I just said you mustn't
be thinking you caused it.

Again. Thank you.

I'm going to go. I
need a shower, so...

I said I'd stay for karaoke.

Karaoke? A man's just died.

It's a care home, lovelies.

Someone's always just died.

Brightmarsh at nine?

Yeah, sure.

HE SIGHS AND SLURPS

Um, there's something
I need to say.

So if you could just give me
a minute to say it, please.

I wanted to apologise
to you both.

That was it. That
was the apology.

I know I've been
hard on you, Julie,

over the years, but
you make my dad happy.

So that makes me happy, so...

Oh, well...

You know, you've always got
home here for as long as you...

Sorry. I think we've got
everything we need now.

So someone from the
station will be in touch.

Thank you.

Wha.. What?

What's going on?
There's been a break-in.

As far as we can tell,
nothing's been taken.

But they made a hell of a
mess upstairs. It's terrible.

SHE SIGHS WITH RELIEF

♪ I get a kick

♪ Oh, I get a kick

♪ Oh, I get a kick out of you! ♪

APPLAUSE

Thank you.

Erm, Enid?

Who's Celia's fancy-man?

It's her son.

I assume it is her son.

He's the only person who ever
visits her, apart from her daughter.

Thank you.

Erm, guys, I'm just
going to pop to the loo.

I'll be back in five, OK?

Cheers. Thank you, boss.

Excuse me. Excuse me, excuse me!

Please, I need you
to take me somewhere.

If you want to go somewhere,
you have to use the app.

There's no time. I need you to
take me somewhere right now.

You give me tip? Yeah.
I'll give you a 10% tip.

20. What?!

OK, OK, I'll give you a 20% tip

if you follow that
car. Like in a film?

Yes! Yes, like in the film.

Nice, boss! That's
what I'm talking about.

Kay, something
mad's just happened

Someone broke into my
dad's and trashed my room,

but they didn't take anything.

I think they were
after the dossier.

There was that van
watching the house.

Kay, where are you?

I'm in an Uber. We're meant
to be going to Brightmarsh!

I know, but while
I was at Riverford,

a guy showed up to
visit Celia Herrington.

Apparently, he's her only other
visitor apart from her daughter,

so I followed him. Nice!

Yeah. And I don't feel
travel sick at all.

Because you're looking out
the front window, boss.

Eyes on the road, please.

Yes, boss. Turn here,
please. Yes, thank you.

Pull up, pull up, pull up.

Wow. What is this place?

Kay, what's happening?

Oh, my days.