♪♪
The Braxtons are back, guys.
♪♪
I went to the doctor.
I don't wanna
get them riled up.
"Ooh, is Toni okay?"
What's wrong with your heart?
-I was told that
-It's okay, Toni. It's okay.
"You will eventually need
bypass surgery."
Because if I have
a heart attack, I won't survive.
Hi!
Trina: Little Kevin is
not just Traci's son,
he's her only child.
I don't want him to go into
a downward spiral.
We need to go ahead
and go in grief counseling.
Would you wanna be a part
of that too?
Miss E: Traci loved
buttermilk biscuits.
So I'm making her
in her honor.
This week is the two-year
anniversary of Traci's passing.
Since everything happened
even with Traci,
I-I would have thought that
maybe, you know,
it would have brought
everybody to a different place
where we're closer.Mm-hmm.
But that's not
what happened here.
Trina: I should have
had my sisters to lean on,
to be those people
for me to talk to.
Since you're the person
that called, tell me,
what do you feel like
you need help with?
Trina was there when
Traci took her last breathe.
I have no idea
how to feel yet.
When we, as a family,
go through therapy sessions,
a lot of things
are revealed.
♪♪
What I'm really feeling is
for Kevin.
Hmm. What are you feeling
for Kevin?
Pain.
Pain.
Yeah.
Hurt.Mm.
Yeah.
♪♪
Are you able to feel
your own pain?
Oh, I felt that.
Mm.
Every day.
But I heard you say,
"I felt that."
Well, I don't think
you can ever prepare a person
Amen.
to lose their child.
It's a difference.
I carried Traci,
and she can
never be replaced.
Right.
I almost lost Traci three times
when I was carrying her.
Another time
when Traci had this high fever.
But this time
I couldn't save her.
And it may hurt,
what I'm saying,
but she was so ill, I did pray
that God would take her.
I didn't wanna see
my child suffering like that.
Amen.
It was hard.
But she's always present
with me.
-Yes.
-All the time.
And believe it or not,
Traci comes, she visits me.
And I see her.
-Mm.
'Cause I know one day, I mean,
I got to get up outta here too.
I don't care how fine I am
or what I look like.
That don't matter.
And so I'll see her again.
Amen.
It's okay.
The last time we were filming,
we were in LA.
We were there celebrating
Toni's birthday.
This is a trick candle,
isn't it?
-No, it's not.
-Yes, it is.
And Traci said, "Hmm, it burns,
like it hurts when I swallow.
Like, it really burns."
And me and Trina
were like, "Traci,
you need to go to the doctors
as soon as you get home."
And she was like, "I am.
I'm gonna go,
but it don't feel right.
It just don't feel right."
When she got home,
she went to the doctor,
and that's when they
told her she had cancer.
And they said it was
esophageal cancer
and it was stage three
at the time.
Miss E: Traci said,
"But I'm going to beat this.
I'm going to be an example
for other women
to get through this."
I said, "I know you will, Tray."
♪♪
My sister Traci always
tends to make the best out of
everything
and act as if nothing's wrong,
but I could see past the mask.
We love each other
extremely hard.
And when the when time gets
rough, we go running.
Five, six, seven.
One, two three, four.
Ooh, ooh, ah. Ooh,
ooh, ah. Ooh, ooh, ah.
Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.
[Laughs]
That's the Traci dance.
It's called the Traci.
We just kept flying back
and forth to see her.
We took turns
with different things,
and everyone had their
own role in being there for her.
And five and six and seven
and eight, and ooh, ah.
We laughed a lot with her,
we cried a lot with her.
Trina: There were times
when we had pajama jammy-jams.
Oh, no.
I don't know what she doing
though.
Clap for me.
And we did karaoke sessions.
We watched a lot
of "Judge Judy."
[Laughter]
Prepare to clap,
b*tches.
[Applause]
[Laughter]
We had conversations
about her turkey wings.
I'm the only person
she gave the recipe to.
And we talked about
her motorcycles
and what that
meant to her.
I never knew this,
that her favorite movie was
what's the Disney movie?
The only Black Disney movie.
"Princess and the Frog"!
Yes.
What's her name, Twana?
Tijuana?
-Tiana.
Tiana!
She love that b*tch.
[Laughs]
I look like I was running
every day. I don't.
[Laughter]
When we stayed together at her
house in the bed and we talking,
she said, "Mommy, I love you.
You were the best mother."
And we just embraced,
all night long.
♪♪
I will always remember that.
Why don't you organize
your cards?
Why you in my cards?
Because you're showing them
to me.
I don't wanna cheat
to beat ya.
I wanna whoop your butt,
fair and square.
But you don't have
no books.
Man:
Toni Braxton as a gangster.
Toni: I remember so many days
that the doctor's office
would call us and say,
"She has 48 hours.
Just 24 hours.
She has eight hours."
And then,
it would be the next month,
and they would say
the same thing again.
-Traci, Toni's in bed with you.
-I know.
We watching
movies together.
-Look at her face though.
-We know.
Unh-unh,
not that up and down.
Traci was a fighter.
She was a fighter
to the very, very end.
For the good days,
for the bad days.
For the very bad days.
♪♪
That was one
of the hardest things
I've ever done in my life.
In my life.
♪♪
But would I do it again?
Absolutely.
Spirit: Where are you
in your process?
♪♪
I can't help you
if you guys aren't clear
on what you actually wanna
talk about as real problems
so that we can get right
to the root of it, to heal it.
What do you mean by
getting to the root of it?
Grief is connected to
everything else, right?
And unfortunately, when you're
in processes like this
where there are things
that you don't wanna talk about,
things that can't be said,
you're not free in what you say.
And it is not actually
really therapeutic.
Well, I'm not free at all.
♪♪
-From?
-From what, Trinie?
From anything.
And Towanda was right.
Towanda said,
"Trina, you're not strong enough
to watch Traci take
her last breath."
And I was like,
"Towanda, yes, I am.
You can't tell me
what I'm strong enough to do."
Mnh-mnh.
Trina and I was there.
And I thought I was
strong enough,
but I wasn't
strong enough.
I wasn't.
I wasn't strong enough
to see it.
Towanda: I know
how sensitive Trina is,
and I knew that that
wouldn't be good for her.
Those are the things
that will scar you
for the rest of your life.
[Crying]
Almost it's like,
I feel all of Traci's
energy just go, and you see
literally, it almost went inch
by inch by inch by inch.
And I see it
almost everyday.
I'm sorry.
♪♪
Mnh-mnh.
Is that Kevin's mic?
That sound like
the police.
What's going on?
Y'all got so many secrets.
-I don't have any secrets.
-It's so irritating.
-Wait a minute, what?
-Every time you call, I answer.
-So I'm a liar?
-No, you said that.
You act like you guys
are enemies.
Don't you know
how short life is?
Can't you see?
Trina: Almost it's like,
I feel all of Traci's
energy just go, and you see
literally, it almost went
inch by inch by inch by inch.
And I see it
almost every day.
I'm sorry.
And I can't
lose this weight,
'cause I just feel just
I've just gotta eat all
of my emotions.
I eat yours, I eat yours,
I eat yours, I eat yours.
I eat mine too.
And if somebody said,
"Trina drinks too much,"
well, I'm sorry.
[Laughter]
That's what
Trina needs right now.
If Trina gets fat, that is
what Trina needs right now.
I need to eat all the
grease and all the fried foods,
and all the okra,
and all the seafood
that's in the world right now,
because that is
what helps me
-Cope.
-right now.
Yeah.What does it do for you?
It satisfies something
in my body.
Mm.
And if I have a martini or 12,
it allows me
To escape.
to separate myself from
the reality of going to bed.
♪♪
Because I'm up,
Towanda will tell you.
I'm up
Mommy will tell you,
I'm up till 6:00 and 7:00
in the morning.
I don't sleep.
Absolutely.
I don't go to bed.
The sun comes up
before I go to bed,
every night
for two years.
Every night.
Because I don't want
the darkness on me
when I close my eyes
because I see her.
I see her in that green
kimono, every day.
Every day.
♪♪
And I don't know what
to do with it.
Honest to God,
I don't know what to do with it.
What do I do with it?
What do I do with it?
Well, she's here for it, Trina.
I'm sorry.
What do I do with it?
I'm so sorry.
What do I do with it?
Can I touch you?
Don't touch me.
No. She don't like people
to touch her.
It'll make her cry more.
This is what the process
looks like, beautiful.
This is it.
♪♪
I don't know what to do
with the noise in my head.
That's why, when I go to sleep,
the television is on.
Something has to be on
so I'm not left alone
with my thought process.
And it's a lot.
Yes, it is because
It's a lot.
Trina, you're
not just dealing with grief.
You're dealing with
post-traumatic stress disorder.
-Yeah.
-That too.
And you need treatment.
Yep.
And the food and the alcohol is
just self-medicating the pain.
♪♪
[Sighs]
I went to
Tamar's concert,
and she did a dedication
to Traci.
And I turned into mush,
into nothingness,
and I didn't wanna
make it a bad moment for Tamar,
so I tried to, you know, keep
my composure as much as I could.
Then Tamar came
and checked on me,
I don't even know
how you continued on.
I just
I don't know.
'Cause that's my way
of grieving.
I got a lot of tools
when I went to grief therapy.
You know?
Okay.
Towanda, what about you?
How are you dealing with
your grief?
I look at death and grief
differently, for me.
I believe that energy and spirit
and your soul never dies.
I believe that even though
Traci's not here physically,
that Traci's still here.
Just not
in the physical form.
Hmm. So, there's a different
kind of peace about that?
Oh, God, yes. I mean,
I have moments of, "Damn."
But then, you know, I-I know
that I can still talk to her.
Mm.
I know that I can still
have moments with her.
And maybe nobody else
could physically see it
with their physical eyes,
but I can experience it
with my energy.
What are you all feeling about
where you guys are?
It's bothersome for me
that we are in a place,
as far as sisters are concerned,
to where it's like,
before Traci passed it was like
we have our whole familial unit.
But it seems like
everybody just went to their
own ecosystem
of the world.
Everybody went to
their own corner.
We're not connected
like we were.
We used to be able to talk
on the phone for hours.
Yes, that's true.
Tamar calls Towanda,
Towanda calls Toni, Toni calls
me.
And we'd just stay on the phone,
and we'd laugh.
That same feeling,
that same closeness
♪♪
we don't even have that
anymore.
♪♪
I miss my friend.
Yeah.
I miss what she brought
to all of us.
Yes.
Some things
she said was just, like,
off the wall
and nobody understood but her.
Well, pluck my chicken
a thousand times.
[Laughter]
My nerves is shot
to shingles.
I'm sorry. I stepped on a
roach when [bleep] down,
and I have nothing
else to say.
Bong-go, whoop-ee-ee,
too-ni-oh ♪
Together: I'll beat ya ♪
I'll beat ya
till your butt turn red ♪
Did she say
which one she was at?
Did she give you a name?
Oh, yes, honey.
Oh, you got pinched on
the -Ooh, he pinched-a my a*s.
Oh, my God,
I feel special!
I am still attractive.
Alright, I still got
a beautiful heinie.
The gluteus maximus.
Trina: I am devastated.
I mean, what do I have to do
to get some pincherization?
What is Traci's secret?
Bam, bam.
That's what made her
Traci. You know what I mean?
Traci was a 24-hour
pot of coffee.
Uh-uh-uh-uh.
Banana pudding,
banana pudding,
banana pudding, banana pudding!
Banana pudding!
[Laughter]
-Yes!
-Banana pudding, banana pudding!
-I'm-a sit right here.
-No, no, no, Towanda.
I always remember Traci,
every day.
Just that fun-loving,
outgoing
[Laughs]
Just special person
that she was.
I am so excited.
I am so excited.
I can't wait
to do this again.
[Laughter]
Yeah, ya!
Wear the crown,
be the crown.
[Laughs]
You are the crown.
I just wanna be valued.
That's what I
You're gonna make me cry.
And you are valued.
Give it up for Traci!
Whoo!
Traci, I love you so much.
I love you too.
I'm so happy
to be your mother.
Thank you, Mom.
Oh, my baby.
I love you, Mommy.
I love you so, so much.
Don't tell your sisters
that
About to start some crap,
Daddy.[Laughs]
I love you.
Okay.
Was we supposed to kiss
with this [bleep] COVID
and everything?
Why you got to say the G-D word?
You can not damn God.
God is not pleased with
that. Look, God was like,
"Forget 2020."
I told Mommy this
and Mikey this.
I think Traci was the glue
that we never realized.
She was the double-stick glue.
♪♪
I have to call
y'all back.
-Okay.
-Are you okay?
-Are you good?
-No, no.
Baby, what happened?
Are you serious?
-Even outside of all this
-I don't care. I don't care.
nobody's called me
to tell me nothing.
This is not the forum.
This is not the forum.
I just lost a child!
I can't take it.
It's too much!
♪♪
But, Toni, I'm wondering,
what is it like
to see your sister falling
apart in her grief?
Could I get a fresh
tissue, Mommy, please?
Miss E: I'm
getting it now.
Tell me, where are you
in your own process?
I am probably
in the angry stage.
I'm definitely not
at acceptance yet.
Hmm.
Do you know any part of
what you need that is missing,
in order to help you get to
a deeper sense of peace?
You just know
Mnh-mnh.
that it's missing.
So I just keep it all
suppressed,
'cause that's what
I'm supposed to do.
According to who?
I guess the role
I was given in life.
[Blows nose]
Thank you.
You're welcome.
What exactly does that mean?
I just think it's the role
I'm supposed to have,
so I just wear it.
Being the oldest
and the oldest sister,
it's really hard for me to ask
my family for support.
But not in the way you think,
because we always
support each other.
Just wanting to talk to them
about things,
because I feel like I
always have to be the strong
one,
and I'm invincible,
and I'm always right.
[Laughs] Not really.
But they think
I think I'm always right.
And I don't know
how to feel vulnerable
and let them know
that I'm human too.
I'm super sister.
Duh-duh-duh-duh ♪
Hmm.
So then, what is that like to be
you who can't express the anger
that you feel
in losing your sister?
Before Traci passed,
I was kinda angry at God.
Why would God take her?
I thought it was unfair.
It's unfair that Traci's
the one that's sick,
the one that's dying,
and I have lupus.
I feel guilt,
because I felt like I was
the one who was gonna die first.
And I was angry
'cause it was like,
Traci's had so many obstacles,
and why would God take her?
I thought it was unfair.
I just felt
I'm the oldest,
I've been here the longest,
I have lupus.
I'm trying to figure out,
'cause you'll never
not be the oldest
Rightand you wanna
work on your grief.
I'm trying to figure out,
how do you imagine
that you'll be able to
if you believe that you should
just always keep it together?
I use my music to try
to help me soothe
or self-medicate that way.
Music helps me a lot.
I'll try to go back to
how I felt years ago,
just before my career happened.
The innocence in it,
and it soothes me,
it gives me inner peace.
Because I was hungry
and it was innocent.
I am so beyond grateful
for what I have.
But going back to a time
in my life
before I made it
makes me feel at peace.
I had less responsibilities,
so much hope for the future.
I know I still need to process
my pain and anger,
but I also have to be
gentle with myself too.
You have your sisters
here, you have your mother here.
What can they do in the now
to help it get better?
My parents did a fantastic job
of teaching us the core family
and being together.
But they didn't do
the best job
of letting us live
our lives individually.
Feel guilt and feel
responsible for each other.
Almost like you do
for your children.
Mm.
It's almost like you put
your sisters ahead of your kids
sometimes,
and I had to work really hard
to put my kids first,
because I was taught
it was always about family.
That's true.
That's absolutely true.
-Immediate family and
-Absolutely.
that part is difficult
and challenging
for me to try to navigate.
♪♪
For one of the things
that's important,
and I heard you guys
both mention
I'm sorry, Spirit,
can we ask Daddy and Kevin
how they're feeling
before we move forward?
-Absolutely.
Daddy, the question is, how
are you feeling about therapy?
I'm just here
to try to learn
and understand what my family
is going through also
so I can be a part
of their healing process.
Spirit:
And what about Kevin Jr.?
Kevin, what are
you feeling tonight?
Every day I'm hurt.
Knowing my
family right now
knows how it feels
to lose a mother,
it's like losing
a part of me.
And it's hard.
I got a lot going on
on my behalf,
so not only am I
grieving my mother,
I'm also grieving
me losing my wife.
So it's a hard thing
to adjust to.
Especially when you have
someone that had
conversations
with, you know,
your mother,
saying that
they have your back.
Saying that, no matter
how hard it's gonna get,
they're gonna
be by your side.
And then, it came to
a point where
she served me papers
a couple of months
before my mother's
you know, two-year
anniversary of her passing.
So that was hurtful too.
It was blindsided and
♪♪
Hold on one second.
I would be curious about
whether or not Kevin
is working with anybody
in individual therapy as well.
But the power of family
can be equally powerful,
because you all are bouncing
off of each other constantly.
And sometimes that's
positively
Man: Okay, well, we understand
you may have a warrant.
Is that Kevin's mic?
That sound like
the police.
-That's the police!
-Shh. Don't, y'all. Trust me.
Let him handle this.
Man:Just hang out,
and we'll figure this out.
Are we assuming that is
the police?
Tamar:Need to tell him what?
Are we assuming that
this is the police or you know?
Hey, guys,
I have to call y'all back.
-Okay.
-Are you okay?
-No.
-Are you good?
-Are you good?
-No.
Okay.
We'll call you.
Go check on him,
Towanda.
I'll be right back.
Sorry.
Check on him.
♪♪
-What is happening?
-We don't know.
We don't know, baby.
Tamar: Looks like we lost Daddy
on the call too.
Hey, baby, what happened?
Take a deep breath, nephew,
take a deep breath.
Was that really
the police?
That's what it sound like
to me.
-What was it?
-It sounded like the po-po.
-Are you serious?
-It did.
What's going on?
Y'all got so many secrets
-I don't have any secrets.
-it's so irritating.
Wait a minute, what?
Like, Trina's doing tapping
and it's like
No, I'm tapping because
Like, even outside of all this,
nobody doesn't call me
to tell me nothing.
I don't care.
But this is not the forum.
This is not the forum.
It's a lot.
This is not the forum.
This is Little Kevin's business,
and it's not the forum.
You can be upset
if you want to.
Okay, but what about
the outside forum,
anybody called me
to tell me anything?
I don't know
what's going on either.
Did he call you
and tell you?
That's not my business
to tell you.
What just happened?
Like seriously,
what just happened?
♪♪
Miss E: I was here before.
With who?
Friend of mine.
My mother's a pimp,
let me find out.
I've got girlfriends
and I got boyfriends.
[Laughs]
Did you call me
yesterday?
[Laughs] I did, actually.
Did I answer it?
Well, 'cause we're
taping now. No, no, no.
But before
No, ma'am. No, ma'am.
No, ma'am.
♪♪
Towanda: Who did that?
Are you serious?
Let's just take a deep breath,
okay?
I'm on the phone with you,
I got you.
Tell me
what you need me to do.
-What is happening?
-Was that really the police?
That's what it sound like
to me.
Mm-hmm.
Are you serious?
What just happened?
I don't know.
Like, really?
My frustration is, is that
it's a bunch of secrets.
And I'm just like,
"Well, what's going on?"
Even outside of all of
this, I don't know anything.
I don't either.
But I'm not there to
even tell you what's going on.
Wait, hold on one second
for me, if you guys don't mind.
I think maybe
what happened now,
this is not the first time
that something like this
has happened for you guys.
I assume this is just
what family looks like, right?
Everybody has a personality,
everybody has a boundary,
a belief.
How are you guys feeling about
where you guys are now?
Kevin is
abruptly pulled away.
Where does this leave
you guys in the process?
I wish I could give
you some answers.
Energy is just weird.
-What is it?
What is the charges?
What are the charges?
Put him on speaker.
I wanna know the charges.
Toni: Our energy
got really weird
and everybody's energy
got defensive,
and I don't know
why we all went there.
I'm gonna say everybody.
I'm not gonna
I think all of us got defensive.
I don't think this is all
just about Little Kevin Jr.
It's a symptom
of a deeper issue in our family.
I think Tamar,
being the youngest,
sometimes she thinks maybe
we don't wanna worry her.
I think people tend to do that
with the youngest,
and that's not okay.
That part's not okay.
I don't know
what's going on,
I just know
he's going through a divorce.
I have no idea
why cops would be at his house,
if that's indeed what happened,
maybe that's
That is what happened.
I asked the police, I said,
"So, what's going on?"
They said, "Well, someone
anonymously called
and said
that he has a warrant."
-So he has a warrant?
-So he has a warrant.
-For what?
-But he doesn't know.
So he just went to jail?
Right.
So he's gonna go
before a commissioner
to figure out what
the warrant is actually about.
We can't assume anything.
Can't assume anything.
Anything.
'Cause we don't know.
I think that someone close
to Kevin called and set him up.
The timing of it all,
you know, the timing
of the grief counseling,
the timing of the call,
of the cops showing up at
his house, is too coincidental.
It's like, really?
Who would know that he's there?
That's not a coinkydink.
Spirit: Well,
what would Traci do?
Be down there right now.
Be there.
Miss E: Be right there.
I can't begin to imagine
what Little Kevin is feeling
right now.
He's just lost his mom.
He's an only child
from his parents.
He probably just feels alone.
And as his aunties,
we try to be there for him,
but I don't I think there's
a void we could never fill.
So, obviously, we're gonna
have to meet with you again.
Well, that's what
I was gonna ask.
Another day, another time.
That's the question.
I apologize.
Do you all have the focus
to do the work,
or do we need to reconvene
at another time?
-Probably.
-Reconvene for what?
Why'd you say that?
Because I think
the energy is
I don't think we're open
to receiving anything right now,
'cause now I'm worried
about Traci's son.
But maybe she could talk to you
individually.
I went to
grief counseling.
Listen, I'm all here
for advocating
for a healthy mental health,
'cause you never know
who you're going to reach,
or who needs
to be touched.
I move in a space
of what's best for my health,
and what is going to allow
me to remain physically
and mentally
here for not just myself,
but for my child
and the people who love me.
And I have no shame about that.
♪♪
My boundaries is very serious.
And, you know, I don't waiver
my boundaries for anybody
or anything.
And I don't know
how to respectfully convey that
to a stranger
that doesn't know
everything that we have been
through,
or what I have personally
been through.
But, you know, I put my foot
down and it stays down.
It no longer
serves me to beg.
I have no desire.
Can I ask,
what do you mean beg?
When you say
"I don't wanna beg"?
I'm just curious.
Oh, beg for a sisterhood
Oh, okay.
beg for a friendship.
Beg for time.
Beg for None of that.
♪♪
This is a pre-paid call
from Kevin,
an inmate at the county
correctional facility.
Are you okay?
Here's my mom.
I guess not.
We don't know
what's really going on.
Did he find out
why he's there?
I'm fed up.
You deal with it,
'cause I'm tired.
Do what you wanna do.
Toni:
What do you mean beg?
Beg for a sisterhood
Oh, okay.
beg for a friendship.
Beg for time.
Beg for None of that.
I'm sorry if I made you
feel like you were begging.
That was never my intention.
I would never want you to feel
like you were begging
for a sisterhood or time.
Like, for real, from my heart,
I would never want you
to feel that way.
♪♪
It's something
we're doing wrong as sisters,
and we're not getting it,
because Tamar
has felt this before.
I call
all of my siblings.
I damn near beg them
to come hang out with me,
and the answer
is always no.
Or there is no answer.
And I wish she could
explain it to us
where she felt she
could trust us enough
to be vulnerable and honest.
There are times that I don't
understand my sister.
I don't get her.
But I'm trying so hard to.
I wanna see things
from her perspective.
I can't speak for anyone
but me and you and our
relationship.
When you call me, you say,
"Trina, will you come over"?
9 times out of 10
I love it.
9 times out of 10,
where do I go?
No, you come.
I come 9 times out of 10.
I appreciate that.
It's not about appreciation,
it's because I want to be there.
I want to foster a relationship
with you, individually.
And collectively,
with the rest of our sisterhood
and our sistership.
I think that's one of
the things that our sisterhood,
we have problems with.
We always put everything
into a bundle.
Just be honest to the person
that you're having
the problem with.
Because it obviously is not me.
Say how you feel,
but say it to the person
that you feel it about.
Period.
How does it impact
you guys as sisters,
not to be able to have
at least one of you guys
that will plug in
in that space?
There's a real firm
boundary there that says,
" You do not get
access to me anymore,"
for whatever
the reason is.
For me, you have to
respect where a person is.
That's just it.
And until that person
or whoever is willing
to move forward in that way,
then you just have to
respect where they are.
That's it.
But the respect
is a behavior,
but I wanna know how it feels to
not have access to your sister.
Be honest.
They don't care.
It's not
They don't care.
It's not connected to a feeling,
though.
[Laughs] They don't.
Keep it real, dawg.
It's not connected
to a feeling.
Okay.
It's not connected
to a feeling.
How does your sister say,
"You don't have access to me,
and you don't care that
you don't have access to me,"
and it doesn't cause you
to feel anything?
It's just
I guess the feeling is numb.
Yeah.
Because it's not positive,
and it's not negative.
It's just Mm-hmm.
And I will tell you
that numb is a feeling.
It is a feeling, it is.
It's a very important one,right?
Numb is a feeling that we go to,
our body shuts down,
when what we actually feel is
so overwhelming
that to feel that
would hurt too much.
So then we just learned
how to channel and block it out.
Well, no.
'Cause it's not blocked.
It's just
Or is the feeling mutual?
Keep it gangster,
dawg.
Like, why have you gotta
sit up in here and act like
Like I said,
it's a matter of respect.
I respect where
people are.
That's just it.
Is that why I Oh.
I respect
where people are.
I don't engage, I don't pour
into certain types of energy.
Mm-hmm.
I make different
choices in my life.
Mm-hmm.
And that's just where I am.
[Laughs]
Man, this is TV talk.
Outside of yesterday
and today,
when was the last time
you talked to me?
I don't recall.
Okay, thank you.
It wasn't my birthday,
'cause you didn't call me.
Her birthday is September,
and here we are in March.
[Laughs]
I am in a space of
I'm just focusing
on my relationship
and whoever is in my household.
I'm focusing on my children,
I'm focusing on my relationship.
Trina's in
your household?
Toni's in
your household?
But they call me.
I talk to them every day.
Girl, you don't answer
the phone.
That's not true.
Girl, stop.
Let's be specific.
Did you call me yesterday?
I did actually.
Did I answer it?
Well, 'cause we're
taping now. No, no, no.
But before
No, ma'am. No, ma'am.
No ma'am.
Oh!
When you called me,
every time you call
Girl, that is not the truth.
Every time you call, I answer.
Every time you text,
I answer.
That's a fact.
Okay.
That's a fact.
So I'm a liar?
No, you said that.
I didn't call you that.
That's the word
that you're using.
Everyone knows
that I always have receipts.
But what's the point
of showing it?
My word should be my word.
Facts are facts,
and words can't change it.
What she would do is,
she'll give you the carrot
and you move forward.
"Okay, this is how
Okay, now forget it."
"Okay, this is how I feel.
Okay, yeah, forget it."
So either you're gonna go here,
or you're not.
I just did. I just went
there. No, you did not.
Yes, I did.
No, you did not.
What's happening
between you and her right now?
If a person
gives me something
and tells me "This is
how I'm feeling"
Mm-hmm.
I respect where they are.
That's it. Completely.
But the reason why
is because
Completely.
But you can't speak for me,
is what I'm saying.
But I'm not speaking for you,
I was speaking
Sure you said, because you said,
you just said
This is exhausting.
"No, she's not."
I'm listening to every
word that you're saying to me.
Me too.
You said, "No, she's not."
And then you took it back
and said,
"I'm not speaking for you,"
but you in fact did.
That's all I'm saying.
Okay.
Miss E: You know,
I am just
so sick and tired.
You act like
you guys are enemies.
I am tired of it.
You can't sit down and
have a decent darn conversation
without all of this foolishness!
♪♪
All I care about is you guys!
♪♪
I just lost a child!
Suppose something happened
Trina, I'm like you.
Don't touch me.
I'm taking your glass.
Yeah, don't get it
on my clothes.
I'm gonna take your glass,
that's all.
Suppose you walk out that door
tonight,
one of you guys
are k*lled.
Don't you know
how short life is?
♪♪
Don't you know?
Can't you see?
I can't take it.
It's too much!
♪♪
Don't you know?
Can't you see?
I can't take it.
It's too much!
Simple things,
you wanna argue over that.
Tell me, what is wrong?
What's wrong?
It's too much.
It's too much.
Traci even talked to you
guys, don't you remember?
She said,
"If y'all continue to argue,
I'm-a haunt you,"
she said.
Because it's
not necessary.
That's what she said.
♪♪
Life is too short,
I promise you.
I promise you that.
So go ahead
and act a fool.
I'm tired of going to God
for the same thing.
Lord, please, bless my kids.
Please help them
to have forgiveness.
Please show them the way.
Please help them
and show their children
What the devil
y'all showing them?
How to be against
one another?
♪♪
Stop it! I'm fed up.
You deal with it,
'cause I'm tired.
Do what you wanna do.
These are grown behind people.
I'm not gonna be
in the middle of this.
They have issues
that I can't fix.
And it's not my place to fix it.
You know, I'm not a fixer.
I'm a mother.
And you're not gonna k*ll me.
How about that?
You said a lot
to your girls,
and I think it matters
to each of them.
Mm.
They were affected.
Mm.
You don't believe
that they were.
No, that's not it,
that I don't believe it.
I'm just disappointed in 'em.
Mm.
Because, you know,
enough is enough.
Yeah.
But I would say,
hold out the hope,
because maybe this is
the beginning, right?
Oh, child, please.
Yeah.
I know it feels like that.
How long do you think I've
been talking to my children?
Forever.
Since they were in the womb.
Well, one of the things that
I am hoping for this family,
I'm hoping what
your mom is hoping,
is that you all
will find your way to change.
But you have to be
motivated for it.
You have to be willing
to do the work for it,
and you have to be willing
to take accountability
for the parts
that you are willing to do,
and the parts that you're not.
Toni: Obviously we need to
have a couple of these sessions
to get to the core,
but we appreciate you coming
here and taking the time,
and hoping that we can do it
again and do a deeper dive.
Absolute pleasure.
And anytime that you guys wanna
do the work, give me a call.
And we are going to get you
a referral for some treatment.
Okay?
Because the suffering
will not end
just because you got
a little bit of relief.
I receive that.
And I don't want you
to stop there.
I receive that.
Okay?
Okay.
Let's get you guys some rest.
Thank you so much.
Appreciate you.
-My pleasure. My pleasure.
-Thank you so much.
Thank you.Mm-hmm.
I hope somebody stirred
my ox tails so they didn't burn.
I don't burn food.
Trina: Grief takes a long time
to build up.
It's gonna take a long time
to dissipate.
I'm just so full of emotion,
I'm so full of feeling,
I'm so full of hurt,
I'm so full of grief.
I'm so full of passion.
And it's just an outpouring,
like rain.
And, girl
Thank you.
you don't have to be
suffering like how you are.
This really is
I know that.
When you speak with a grief
counselor, I can say this now,
it gives you the freedom
to not move past the situation,
but to move forward
from the situation.
And that's what I'm working
on doing now.
Miss E: Do we have to
turn it up, baby?
There it is.
Mmm.
Ooh, Toni,
this tastes like peach cobbler.
You wanna taste it?
I feel like grief management
is what Traci wanted us to do.
I think she knew
it was gonna be
we were gonna put space there,
and this was her way
of pulling us back together.
We're not there yet.
I don't think we're through it,
I think we're just beginning.
But what I know for sure
is we love each other no matter
what.
And there's still a lot of
pain and a lot of triggers
we can't work through
in one night,
but I'm optimistic
that we'll get there.
-The food ain't ready.
-The rice is ready.
-The rice plate is ready.
-Go eat. Go eat, baby.
Miss E: Look at God.
Toni: Just a month until
the premiere of my new residency
in Las Vegas
with Cedric the Entertainer.
Trina: Our grief therapy session
has really opened up
a lot of wounds.
Traci asked you guys
to get along.
No one honored
what she said.
Towanda: Have you heard
from Little Kevin?
He didn't call me to let me know
he was released, nothing.
You've been dodging
a conversation.
Are we gonna
fall further apart?
I can't figure it out
by myself.
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01x02 - Healing Takes Time
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It follows the family as they navigate new successes, heartbreaks, and ongoing family dynamics, especially dealing with the grief of losing their sister Traci in 2022.
It follows the family as they navigate new successes, heartbreaks, and ongoing family dynamics, especially dealing with the grief of losing their sister Traci in 2022.