01x06 - Three Pigs

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music playing]

[giggles]

Can we have a story, Dad?

Okay, how about

the Three Little Pigs?

[both] Yeah!

-Can you make it funny?

-Okay.

One day, there were these

three little pigs called Jingo,

Gruey, and, uh,

Jimmy or something.

But Jimmy was on

a team-building course for work,

-so we won't see him much.

-[both giggle]

So the first pig, Jingo,

built her house out of straw.

And one day, the Big Bad Wolf

rocks up and says,

"Little pig, little pig,

let me in."

But Jingo says, "No way, mate.

I'm making nachos."

So the wolf's like,

"Ah, I just want to talk to you

about your

electricity provider."

Jingo's like,

"Ah, that sounds good,"

and she's about

to open the door,

and then she remembers,

"Hang on.

I've got solar. Jog on, chief!"

So the Big Bad Wolf huffed and

puffed and blew the house in.

Dad! [whispers]

So Jingo called the police,

and the police came!

And the little pig Jingo

is cackin' herself

and filming it all

on her phone,

and posting it on the 'Gram,

and getting heaps

of new followers,

and the wolf's all like,

"I didn't do nothing!"

But the cops aren't buying that,

and they're all like,

"You got three priors, mate,

and that Monaro's stolen,

so tell it to the judge, buddy."

So they put the wolf in jail.

Then, the other pig, Gruey,

came and helped rebuild

Jingo's house.

But this time,

she used Besser blocks.

-Dad, wait!

-Ah, yep.

[whispers]

And they built a rad pool

shaped like an ice cream cone

and filled it with lemonade.

Wow, good idea.

Meanwhile, the Big Bad Wolf

scored a softy judge

and was out of jail

on good behavior.

But the judge said, "You gotta

go say sorry to those pigs,

or you're back

in here, buddy."

So the wolf went round

to Jingo's new joint

and Jingo and Gruey

said, "Yeah, mate.

It's all cool.

Just don't try and eat us."

And the wolf's like,

"Yeah, fair enough.

I'm going vegan, anyway,

I just eat tofu." So they

invited him in for a swim

to try and make friends,

but he kept peeing in the pool!

[both] Eww!

So the pigs were like,

"Stop peeing in our pool, mate!

"It's lemonade, and we're

trying to drink it!

"But really, even if

it wasn't lemonade,

you shouldn't do it anyway.

It's full of nitrates,

and now we're gonna have

to put heaps of algaecide in."

But, the Big Bad Wolf

kept saying,

"Look! I didn't pee

in the pool!"

And the pigs are like,

"Yeah, you did," and he's like,

"Nah, I don't do

that sort of thing.

It's against my religion."

So, the next day, they put

this stuff in the pool

that makes lemonade turn

purple if you pee in it.

They didn't tell this

to the Big Bad Wolf.

And he's there swimming,

eating some couscous,

talking about the Broncos.

But then he goes all quiet

and stares into space

for a second with this sort of

faraway look in his eyes,

and the kids are like,

"Here we go,"

and suddenly the lemonade

turns purple all around him,

and the pigs are like,

"Ah! See?! You're a grub!"

So the wolf was

really embarrassed,

and he ran out crying,

and they never saw him again.

But apparently he went on

to become quite a successful

tennis player, so you know,

the system works. The end.

-[both] Again!

-No.

[closing theme music playing]