01x01 - Eros and the Funeral

[bunniefuu]

[heart monitor beeping]

[doctor] All right, let's get started.

Are you feeling okay?

Yeah. Yeah,

I'm a little nervous, but, um

[doctor] Don't worry.

Just think happy thoughts, okay?

Right.

And I'm not gonna wake up

during the operation?

[doctor] That's what the anesthesia

is for. Count with me and just relax.

Come on, now. Count with me.

- One

- One

Two

Three

["TIK TAK", David Menéndez López]

LOVE YOU TO DEATH

[friend] Hey, so are you

coming for lunch or not?

THREE WEEKS EARLIER

- I'm kind of lightheaded, dude.

- What do you mean? How?

I had to get off my bike and walk it

or I would've crashed.

Yeah, you have an awful diet. You don't

eat vegetables or anything I make for you.

Hey, listen a sec, man. Should I leave you

any games for the Nintendo Switch?

"Any games"? What? The Switch is mine.

Look, don't be all materialistic, okay?

What's yours is mine,

what's mine is yours.

- You know that, man.

- Fine, all right, all right.

Honey, ask him

if we can have the air fryer.

No, tell your man the air fryer is Gina's.

- If you take it, it'll be my death.

- No, we don't wanna wake the beast.

- Uh-huh.

- Don't call her a beast.

- She's my girlfriend, dude.

- Fine. Hey, I gotta go.

These cables are a mess.

- But the Nintendo doesn't have any.

- sh*t.

Well, I don't know

what I've got here, then.

Edu, what the f*ck?

- You good, man?

- Yeah, I don't know.

I'm a little scared

about this dizzy feeling, dude.

Ah, well, don't worry.

I'm sure it's nothing.

You have angiosarcoma.

- Uh, what?

- Angiosarcoma.

It's essentially heart cancer,

if that makes it clearer.

Uh

Ca Cancer?

- I have cancer?

- Mm-hmm.

I was just a little lightheaded.

And I don't smoke. I don't drink. I

That doesn't affect this matter.

Angiosarcomas are primary

malignant mesenchymal tumors.

- Mesenchymal?

- Yes.

Cardiac tumors are extremely rare cases.

- It's a huge challenge.

- A challenge for who here?

They have a tendency to invade the heart

and its surrounding structures.

It's right here. You can see it.

What is that? What am I seeing?

Your heart.

With cardiac tumors,

there's a higher rate of mortality.

However, by combining aggressive surgery

with the right chemotherapy course,

we could eradicate it completely.

But, in your case,

chemotherapy isn't an option.

Given the size of the tissue,

it has to be removed immediately.

And what that means is

we'll have to operate in two weeks.

Operate? Operate, wait, in two weeks?

- Marc!

- [door opens]

[Marc] Yes?

We need to book the OR

for two weeks from today.

Two weeks? That's not happening.

It's gonna take three.

Fine, then three weeks.

So it's not that urgent, is it?

We can think it over and

- Coordinate with him, would you, please?

- Yep.

I'm sorry, but, uh, you need to operate?

There's not another option?

Although the operation is complicated,

no, we have no other option.

- But

- All right. There we go.

Wait. Don't just kick me out.

This is important, and it's so

I get it, but other patients are waiting.

Uh, look, just sign here.

- Here?

- Data protection. Here you are.

Thanks.

- One quick question.

- Sure. Hit me.

Just I forgot

to ask the doctor one thing.

Okay. I'm here. What's up, man?

All right. Um, well, uh,

did he discuss survival rate?

Do you know

what the rate of survival is here?

Uh, sorry, but I'm not authorized

to give you that information.

- Yeah, yeah, I can only imagine, but

- Your ID, please?

Yeah. What's the percent?

Like around ninety?

You'll have to ask the doctor about that.

- Is it fifty? Or forty?

- Here we are. You take that.

Thirty percent?

- It's thirty, huh?

- No, sir, I didn't say that.

- But that awkward pause, I heard it.

- Okay.

- Dr. Pisani is an amazing doctor, okay?

- Uh-huh. No, no, totally, of course.

It's just that he was really curt

and like

- Apathetic?

- Apathetic, yeah.

Zero empathy. Bang, and he's all done.

- The word only brings sadness, cancer.

- Yeah, yeah, just like it was nothing.

- Tactless.

- Right, no tact.

Okay, but, Raúl You were Raúl? Or?

Yes. Raúl Gasca.

Okay, what would you prefer, Raúl,

that he operates and you're cured,

or gives you a hug loaded with empathy?

[Edu] Bro, I just heard your

your message.

Ugh. I'm so sorry, dude.

Mmm. Heavy stuff.

Well, uh, just so you know, uh,

I'm here for you, man, whatever you need.

And, well, listen, you know,

I I just read somewhere

that, at the end of the day,

everyone ends up with cancer,

you know, sooner or later.

So, maybe it's better that it happened now

so that we can handle it

and get it knocked out ASAP.

Don't stress, bro, all right?

And don't worry,

I won't tell anyone, okay?

- [sighs]

- Love you.

[dance music playing]

Yeah, come on! Whoo!

- And now I want to direct commercials.

- You told me that earlier.

- Let's go!

- Yeah!

No, no, it's just clearly you're

a lot of talk and not a lot of action.

Come on! How low can you go?

- Okay. All great. Really great.

- Yeah? Yeah.

- I dig it, yeah.

- Me too, yeah.

- Yeah, it took you long enough.

- Yeah?

- Yeah, it was really great.

- I always do that.

- I wait too long.

- Come on, my place. Let's go.

- Wow. Are you serious? Yeah?

- Yeah.

Let's get outta here.

- Come on, yeah.

- Okay, let's go.

- Listen up. Chin-chin!

- Chin-chin!

- My jacket. We need my jacket.

- [partygoer] Here we go.

- What's going on with your jacket?

- I left it. It was right here. I had it

- Have you guys seen my red jacket?

- Let's all look for her jacket.

- No.

- Mmm

It's got my phone and wallet and my keys.

Everything, you know?

We gotta help her, yeah?

- Team Red Jacket.

- Holy sh*t, dude. Holy sh*t.

[partygoer] Where'd she leave her jacket?

- Today's Monday.

- Yeah, it is.

- It's not Sunday.

- No.

- I got a funeral.

- Wait. What?

- It's in half an hour, yeah.

- I'm so sorry.

I need my jacket. It's not here. f*ck.

I can't It's not I gotta go to work

and pick up a phone.

Then head straight over to my sister's

because I don't have my keys.

And I can borrow clothes from her

and then go to the funeral.

- Listen. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

- Yeah.

- I'm with you 100%, okay?

- Yeah.

I'm with you.

I'll help you with all of that.

You have the greatest vibes.

You know that?

- You have the greatest vibes.

- All right, let's hit it.

Yo. Let's do one more line.

CARDIAC ANGIOSARCOMA:

A MEDICAL CHALLENGE AND

THE SEARCH FOR PATIENT RELIEF

Babe, would you please get dressed?

Or we'll get to the garden late.

- And this is?

- Nothing.

- So, you're watching?

- Nothing, nothing.

Is it porn? I don't care if it is.

- No, it's not. Come on.

- It's not?

Did someone maybe wake up on the frisky

side of the bed this morning, hmm?

[kisses, moans]

- What's up?

- Hey!

Hey!

I, uh I love both of you guys.

- All right.

- And you know that we love you.

- Okay.

- [Raúl] Yeah. Okay.

- What's his deal?

- I'm not sure. I think he's nervous.

- Trying to deal with moving and all that.

- Oh, sure.

So exciting he's moving in with Gerard

and I can move in with you, isn't it?

- Mmm.

- [chuckles]

Honey, I know what's happening.

You're scared. It's okay.

You're scared it won't work out.

But we need to embrace all our fears

like we would with any emotion.

- Mm-hmm.

- Oh, wait.

We'll do this thing I learned from Luca.

- All right?

- Who's Luca?

He's my emotional guy.

Okay, close your eyes.

Closed all the way.

All right, now, contemplate.

Is this thing that I'm feeling, is it

a product of what's happening right now

or is it a product of what could, right,

what could go down in the future?

- What could.

- All right.

All right, if it's "could,"

it's an imagined fear, Raúl.

- Imagined.

- The anxiety is anticipation, sweetheart.

- Anticipation, right.

- Mm-hmm.

And right now I

I have a question for you, all right?

- Uh-huh.

- And, please, would you just be honest?

- Please, honey, for me?

- [inhales deeply]

- Fine.

- Open your eyes, please.

- You did have on porn, right?

- Yeah.

- Oh! Get dressed, come on.

- Okay.

- Hurry.

- I am, I am.

- I'm gonna shower.

- Okay.

- [driver] Morning. Where are we headed?

- Morning!

Hey, man. Well, we're gonna be

kind of all over the place, right?

Can you take us to a few different places?

Is that okay?

Raúl, you're gonna break those.

Can you just stop?

This feels like a garden for Buddhists.

Yeah, well, regardless,

you break it, you buy it.

Let's see. Uh Hey, how about one

like this that hangs? What do you think?

- Mmh

Is it a bit excessive? I don't know.

Yeah, get it if you like it. Hmm.

Uh-huh? Yeah, no, it's not

No, I'm not seeing it. It's not

- I gotta sober up for real.

- We need everything to slow down.

'Cause I gotta get in there and

and look like I

- You look good, yeah? Hey. Look at me.

- Like I Like I didn't just

Look at me. Wait.

You look perfect.

- That's a ficus, isn't it?

- Yep.

Hmm. What about these?

What if we hang it in a wicker thingy

by the front door there,

with the coat rack, or?

I suppose so. Yeah. Yeah, if you

Yeah. If I like it, right.

Yeah, fine. Got it. Hmm.

Yeah. [clicks tongue]

- This where you work?

- It's, uh, here.

- It's here, is it?

- Here. It's here, yeah, yeah.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- You wait here.

- Here?

- Yeah. Two secs.

- Stay right here.

- Okay.

Morning! Morning. Good morning.

- Morning.

- Hey, have you seen my work phone?

No.

Hey, what are you doing right now?

- I'm waiting.

- Waiting for what?

For instructions from you.

Well, sweetie, get the work going

on the mobility campaign.

I mean, how's it been going anyway?

Behind schedule, but it's not my fault.

Of course it's not your fault.

You're an intern.

And you're a little a little weird too.

Look. Here it is, Iveth.

Before Nano sees, I gotta get

[Nano] Hey, Marta, Marta, Marta.

Amazing to see you in the office,

especially because I pay you to work here.

Listen, I have to go.

I already had the day off. I told you.

- Don't you remember?

- No, no, no. You told me none of that.

Yeah, I totally did.

At the meeting the other day.

- Didn't I tell him?

- No, you did not.

- sh*t, Iveth. Tell him I did.

- But I'm bad at lying.

Damn, girl.

Then get out of advertising. f*ck.

All right, listen.

I gotta go to this guy's funeral.

Ah. Another grandfather?

That's five already, huh?

It's not. It's a a friend

I've had since high school.

- Sorry. Were you two close?

- Very, yeah. And we dated off and on.

My aunt and uncle were m*rder*d

a couple of years ago.

- Okay. Jesus.

- It was revenge. Their throats were slit.

Marta, you know

I don't like to micromanage.

Do you have the Chance slogan?

Please, Nano, I've gotta go.

I've got people waiting.

Will you start her termination papers now?

- All right, sh*t. I've got it.

- Wait a second.

- Yeah, I've got it. It's ready.

- [Nano] Well?

"It's fair, it's easy, and it's personal."

- I love it.

- Absolute bullshit.

Continue with the papers.

Okay, wait. No, listen.

Wait. Give me a chance.

- Give me a chance.

- [Nano chuckles]

[laughs] That doesn't make sense.

- And they do what, now?

- Second-hand marketplace.

[gasps]

"Get that dough by letting it all go."

Okay, that's pretty good.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll use that.

- [Marta] Yeah!

- You're the best.

- It's f*cking dope. You know it.

And with that, I'm out. Later.

You can forget the termination papers.

I'm crashing right now.

Can we just stop and buy some like

- Yeah, Gatorade and, uh

- I was gonna say beer.

- Yeah, sure, beer, yeah. All right.

- It'll wake me up.

You like this ficus or not?

- Uh, yeah, yeah. If you like it, yeah.

- No, Raúl, I didn't say I wanted it.

I asked if you liked it.

Do you like it, okay?

It's just you said

you wanted a ficus for the balcony.

- Yeah.

- Didn't you say that?

Okay, just leave it alone, Raúl.

It's not Just forget it.

- Are you serious?

- But you said forget it.

Yeah, Raúl, you don't need to do

everything I say all the time.

Never mind. Never mind.

It's fine. [chuckles]

It's fine. It's fine, honestly.

It's just anxiety.

It's something I'm able to transcend.

And then I will defeat

- Gina, are you?

- Uh, no, no, no. I'm fine.

It's nothing. Nothing. If I'm [laughs]

You know what? Here we go.

We'll just each get the plants

that we like. Hmm? Yeah.

And we'll put it all in the cart,

and then we'll pay for 'em,

and and we'll bring 'em home, right?

Yeah, and I'll find a place

for each little plant.

Even though

I don't even really like plants.

I'm really not understanding.

Are you upset?

- No, it's not

- Something's definitely wrong.

Because your voice is all squeaky,

the way it gets when you're too scared

to say something.

No, nothing's wrong.

- Three notes higher, right there.

- Oh, jeez, Raúl.

One more again.

Come on, say it.

Raúl

Your voice has stopped squeaking.

I know.

Because now I need to

to say something that I was, um

that I was too afraid to say until now.

And that is?

Our relationship has to end.

[sighs, sniffs]

Hey! Let's buy this!

- Uh, yeah, here we are. Thanks.

- Wait. What's going on? Who lives here?

- Careful. It's dangerous in there.

- Dangerous?

Snobbery spreads. It's gross.

- Please just come back.

- Yeah, one minute, one minute.

Okay.

- Hello!

- Hey.

What a surprise.

[woman chuckles]

Didn't you have a funeral

or something like that?

Yes, precisely. A funeral.

I stopped at work and I didn't have time

to go home and change.

Would you lend me one of your many

"designed to wear in mourning" outfits?

But why? You look I mean,

you look beautiful. I was like, "Wow."

I opened the door and said,

"She looks beautiful today."

You smell like a human cigarette,

but you're glowing, though.

I smell Yeah. [sniffs]

But, yeah, you're right.

I've got a a glow about me.

You sure do, yes.

Can I borrow that Cortefiel shirt,

that black thing

you look clinically depressed in?

I don't think

that one fits you well, really.

Hey, hey, hey. How would it not fit?

You're pregnant, man.

- Well, that's why. [chuckles]

- Everything you own fits me, sis.

- [man] Ana? Ana!

- Yeah, but it's not

- [Marta gasps]

- What?

- Hey, what's going on?

- I don't

- I just heard that.

- No. [laughs]

And that wasn't Joel.

- Are you losing it?

- Anita. Is that?

- Are you cheating on Joel?

- What the heck are you saying, girl?

- Are you out of your mind?

- I can't believe it!

- Well done! My sister's not a saint!

- [shushes] Marta!

- Please shut up, all right?

- She's officially dickicized!

Shut your frigging mouth and stop

being a pain in the a*s. Get inside.

[Marta] Thank you.

What's all this?

- What are you doing?

- Uh, nothing.

Yeah, right, nothing. This place

looks a Pinterest board, Ana. Come on.

- Mmm, uh

- Wait. Hold on.

Are you guys having a baby shower?

- Well, I

- [children screaming]

Not inviting the aunt of the child

to the baby shower?

This entire thing

was done completely on the fly.

Everyone just kind of arrived

and brought over some things for the baby.

- It's no big deal.

- It's unthinkable. This is

You waited for me to be at a funeral

to have your baby shower.

Look, don't come around here all like

pretending you care and being dramatic.

- I don't need it.

- What? Pretending?

You're talking about my niece.

- Your nephew.

- Yeah, right. This is my nephew.

If I did invite you,

you wouldn't have even showed up.

Well, I would've brought a gift over.

- Right.

- But a mommy gift.

Not a baby gift like everyone else.

Seriously, what's a baby gonna do

with a gigantic bear?

It'll suffocate in all this fur.

It really, really hurts

you think you can't count on me, Ana.

[sighs]

I'm sorry, but I just don't get it.

All that out of nowhere.

It's really not out of nowhere, Raúl.

I've been the only one trying

for a while now.

But you never said anything.

This should have been

a wonderful day for us,

and yet again it's like

I gotta drag you around everywhere.

Listen, okay, Gina, I'm not really well.

You know what?

You honestly never are, Raúl.

And this morning

you didn't even wanna have sex.

This morning

I had something to explain to you.

- Oh, yeah?

- In this past week

- Oh, this is great.

- I had a few tests done and it was

No, no, no. Hey, hey, hey.

Uh, excuse me. Sorry.

Uh, we we were next.

Yeah, but if you don't keep moving,

that's kind of how it goes.

[register beeps]

You're not gonna do anything?

- It's done. He's cashing out already.

- Oh, it's done.

This guy just f*cking cut in front of us,

and, again, I gotta handle it all?

This guy's like 10 feet tall.

What am I gonna say here?

Plus how do we know that he isn't

I mean, maybe he's also agile and fast.

[imitates punching sounds]

Are you? [imitates Raúl]

Are you kidding?

What are you so afraid of?

I mean, isn't that obvious?

I just thought you'd be

a way more capable person.

Yeah, less just less complacent

and more persistent.

And excuse me, sir, sorry,

but we were next, okay? I mean

I don't know, more like motivated,

positive and happy.

Yes, I understand. I get it.

Uh, she's right. We were next.

Uh, oh, oh. Sorry. We

- I can relate, you know?

- You what?

I was always doing the heavy lifting

with my ex, all the time.

Yeah, three years down the drain.

All that for nothing.

Sorry. In our case, everything has been

fine, and we're doing great.

- No, no, no. I don't know what

- But today she-

You and I are not great. Sorry.

- It's just I needed him to give 100%.

- Yeah, and he gave you like 30%, right?

- Exactly. Exactly.

- That's how it is.

- That's exactly it. You nailed it.

- Please, no percentages, please.

- The percentages, I can't

- But that's how you are, Raúl.

From home to work

and from work to your house.

And, oh, watch out on Fridays!

You get a little crazy.

- Pizza. [laughs]

- Pizza. [laughs]

- Same deal.

- Yes!

Yeah, the most exciting thing we've done

all year was watch Squid Game.

You know that I only watched that,

so I wasn't excluded at work.

It just went on forever, Raúl.

Just I just can't go on like this. No,

I can't do it. I can't do it. It's done.

- You got the biggest hands.

- No, you can't.

No.

[sighs] Thanks.

[Gina gasps]

[Gina groans, sighs]

- That was sort of weird.

- Chin up, sister.

- Thanks.

- You got this.

Look, the whole world can see it.

I hear it from everyone.

Everyone? Well, how long

have you been discussing this?

And Luca was very clear about this.

I need to project only the positive energy

to attract energy to me that's positive.

Did you guys wanna pay by cash or card?

- Uh, it's a a card. Card.

- Yeah.

I want you to attract that energy.

No, Raúl, you bring me down.

I start here, and you're down here.

We're running a two-for-one

on the plants if you're interested.

- No, thanks. We're fine.

- It's fine.

- No, no, I'm right here, with you.

- Oh, no, you're not.

No, you're not. You're not right here.

Care to make a donation

to the Red Cross today?

- No.

- No, thank you.

- Cheapskates.

- Hey, we're up here together, both of us.

- Up here.

- No. This always happens.

[imitates whooshing sound]

And I'm down again.

That's 12.80, guys.

- Gina, that was so mean.

- Uh, bag?

- No.

- No, thanks, no.

No bag needed. It's fine. [sniffles]

Talk more later. See ya.

[knocking]

[sighs, sniffles]

Yeah?

I don't know, uh

Maybe I could get a ride?

[laughs, sniffles]

Are you serious? We're breaking up, Raúl.

And rather than, I don't know,

trying to change things,

the only thing that matters to you

is finding a ride to your house.

- Well

- Unbelievable. Just unbelievable. Wow.

I mean, if you don't want to,

it's okay, but

- My place is on your way is all.

- I'll see you.

f*cking toxic piece of sh*t.

[baby crying]

It's all right. Calm down. Mama's here.

Yes, she is. There, there.

You want me to take him, hon?

I can handle it. It's okay.

It's just experience

is a bit like a degree.

- I can make kids sleep like it's nothing.

- Oh, yeah?

Yeah, pass him here. I'll demonstrate.

You're kind of somewhere near

the horse whisperer but with kids.

No kids for you, huh?

No. No. Not interested.

No? Is your career intense?

I'm a creative director for advertising.

Wow. I'm a creative director

in advertising too.

- Yeah. Truth is, work never ends.

- I'm not even here, ladies, okay?

- Thanks. Okay, that's fine.

- All right, yeah.

Although now

I'm fully in Marcos' mother mode.

And all I talk about is

how swollen my dang feet are.

[laughter]

But just like that,

I put on my creative hat,

and, presto, I'm making my ads,

answering calls, waking up early.

Woo!

And just like that,

it's the Marcos' mother mode hat again.

Just games and fun stuff, you know?

Hilarious, right?

- Very much so.

- I'll say.

All those hats must have cost you

a fortune, huh?

[laughs] Come on,

let's take a group photo, everyone.

- Let's get one of the group now, Ana.

- Marta.

- [Joel] Come on, get in there, Marta.

- But I don't belong in it.

- [Joel] You're gonna be the auntie.

- Wait, wait. Hold on.

Oh, uh That's my baby Um

I'm adapting.

I'm blending in with my surroundings.

Your sister's hilarious.

- She's just so wacky sometimes.

- That's my baby's, so could you just

- [Joel] Here go.

- Mommies, say cheese!

Wonderful. So great.

No, but, seriously, when you have a kid,

you realize the true meaning of love.

Unless your kid's a shitty little butthole

who ends up ruining your life, right?

Okay, well, I'm gonna get a new

roll of film, 'cause things are tense.

I'm sure, of course,

there are good things about it too.

- Surely there are.

- I sh*t myself during the birth.

- You did what, now?

- Yes, I did.

Actually, here.

My husband got it all on video.

- Perfect.

- Oh, you really want us to see it.

- Here. Look at me sh*t. Look.

- Oh, I'm sh1tting!

Yeah, duh. Of course you did.

How could you not sh*t yourself?

There's a whole little dude in there

playing soccer with your spleen.

- Marta.

- So sh1tting yourself is the least of it.

Anyway, it's just not my thing.

Not for me.

No f*cking way can I picture that.

Of course you can't picture it.

Because you're not pregnant.

Well, hey, I could be. I'm fertile.

I could absolutely get pregnant.

- I get laid and f*cked, on top of that.

- But I'm actually pregnant, not you.

I didn't even realize.

Will you imagine that?

[Ana] Yeah, I'm very pregnant.

This is my party and not yours, because

I guess you didn't realize that either.

- Oh, hey, let's do presents, sis.

- There are no gifts, Marta.

Okay? No gifts. Those are all empty boxes

I put out for the photos.

I only got three shitty presents, okay?

There, I said it.

- I'm sorry.

- Hold on, hold on, hold on.

- That's true, Ana.

- This is great. Huh?

My sister is the best.

Thank you so much, Marta.

Now one of the greatest days of my life

is a prenatal nightmare,

and all because of you, sis.

Thanks a lot, Marta.

- Wow, Ana, just relax a little.

- Ana, come here, honey.

Relax. Take it easy. Visit a therapist.

I do visit a therapist. If you recall,

I asked you to come to a session with me.

Yeah, but why would I waste my time

getting advice I know?

- Well, for me, it helps.

- Yeah, me too. We both go.

All right, for free,

I'll tell you what's wrong.

Your life is boring and monotonous,

and you can't stand it.

- Shut up already, okay?

- [yelps]

I'm so sorry, sweetie. I didn't even

see you right there. Sorry, sweetie pie.

- Let go of me, you idiot!

- [gasps]

- [Joel] What are you doing, kid?

- Your son is a little prick.

- What the actual f*ck is his deal?

- I'm sorry, Ana, but you hit him first.

- Did you really just call my son a prick?

- The demon child headbutted my sister.

- Of course he did. She hit him.

- This is all just a misunderstanding.

What f*cking misunderstanding?

My nose is f*cking broken 'cause of him.

Relax, honey bun.

Jeez, Joel.

Why don't you stick up for her, dude?

- Just shut it, okay? Stay out of it.

- All right, fine. I will.

It's okay, sweetie.

- It's fine. He's just a kid. He didn't

- The kid's a son of a b*tch.

- [gasps]

- [Joel] What are you doing?

Did you really

just put your hands on me, Miriam?

No, it was my impulse.

Well, hit me. You wouldn't dare hit

a pregnant woman. Go on, sling at me.

I won't hit you because you're pregnant.

But you can gently

just lightly flip me back, okay?

- There it is.

- Why would you? Did you?

All right. All right, hit me back

and we'll call it even.

This is wrong. Both of us are pregnant.

Well, you're a lot fatter than I am.

Well, I'm further along, but

that's just the child. It's not fat, okay?

I love you, Miriam.

- Come to me.

- It's just that I'm feeling so alone.

[Miriam] Of course.

My a*s is frigging gigantic.

I don't know myself at all.

No, it's not.

Joel!

- Sweetie, I

- Leave me alone, okay?

Fine.

- Mommy, I

- Yeah, coming.

I can't do this.

- Do the photos.

- Yes, I am. I'm taking the photos.

- Everyone's bossy now.

- Hey, does this have any alcohol?

- No, it's non-alcohol.

- Nothing does, right?

- The drama.

- Okay, this is done.

Hey, being pregnant's not all bad.

There are good parts, right?

- Sure. Of course there are.

- Your t*ts get enormous.

- I mean, look at these, right?

- That's true. Sure, go ahead.

Yeah. Great t*ts.

Mine.

[guest 1] And you don't get your period.

That's a bonus.

- [guest 2] That too.

- [Miriam] That's a big one.

- [guest 1] No one talks about that one.

- [guest 3] Right, and your skin.

- And your hair. It gets so shiny.

- Yes, right.

- It's almost as if you're glowing.

- Yep.

- [Miriam] I hear that a whole lot.

- [guest 3] I just told you yesterday.

[Miriam] So, yeah.

You told me not today, but yesterday.

Glowing?

[Miriam] Yeah. Look.

[Edu] What a mess, dude.

She couldn't just pick another point

to jump ship? No class.

I still haven't told her.

So what? You were already

dealing with a lot, Raúl.

You're the only one

I've told about this, so

Look, Raúl, you could see this coming

a mile away.

That girl was a headcase.

Everyone knew it.

- But this is good, Raúl, for both of us.

- I meant the cancer, dude.

- Ah.

- Who else knew about Gina?

Look, Raúl, I live with you, dude, okay?

Months have passed

since I heard your mattress squeak.

Well, the mattress is viscoelastic, so

Yeah? Are the sex noises

also made of viscoelastic too?

Gina's sex noises

are contained within, dude.

Also known as suppressed pleasure.

Honestly, you guys were dead and over.

Raúl, you weren't in love with her.

You were in love with the routine.

And I'll tell you one thing,

and don't take this the wrong way,

but I gotta wonder if this cancer,

you know, if it was caused

- by her.

- Please, dude.

Pretty cute plant, though.

Yeah.

You gotta have another one.

Man.

[gasps] One.

- What are you doing?

- Holy sh*t. You really scared me, Mom.

- And now you're robbing her?

- What could I even steal?

- Ana asked me to give this to you.

- Oh, all right.

And she's crying uncontrollably

'cause of you.

I'm sorry. I'm going.

I know that's what you all want.

Well, what do you expect?

Poor girl spent months

preparing this ordeal.

You show up, and it's all yelling, honey.

- Months?

- Yeah.

Huh. Well, now I feel much better.

Thanks a lot.

Did your boobs grow recently?

No, it's PMS. They're swelling.

Listen, why are you upset

about any of this stuff at all?

If she invited you,

you wouldn't have come.

I just don't get why she didn't.

Because I have a life,

she can't understand why?

I really don't get it either.

Honestly, we're worried about you, Marta.

Listen, okay, if anyone's worried here,

it's this guy.

Oh, yeah?

My sister has a photo of herself

printed on a cake.

- And?

- Have you looked at what's in her trash?

- Huh?

- She washes it, Mom.

All of the plastic she throws out,

it's all clean.

You're supposed to wash that stuff

when you recycle.

But don't change the subject.

You know what I'm saying.

We're just really worried

you're not progressing, honey.

What does progressing mean to you, though?

Marrying the first a*s munch I meet?

Be careful. He's not an a*s munch, okay?

He has Asperger's.

Focus, Mom. The point is

that I'm very happy. I love my life.

Ten years from now,

well, we'll see what happens.

Yeah. [chuckles] Now where are you headed?

A place where everyone appreciates

how I live my life now.

[chuckles] Okay but, listen,

you put back whatever you took.

- I didn't take anything.

- Return it now.

- [whistles]

- [Marta] Well, look who we have here.

Yeah, you're the little kid

who headbutted my sister, huh?

Yeah, because she's a moron, lady.

Well, if you touch her again, kid,

I swear I'll rip out your eyes

and put 'em on a key ring.

You ungrateful piece of sh*t.

Okay, it's done.

Let's get moving.

You Googled it, man? What an idiot.

Come on, dude.

You should have never done that.

And the same goes for warts.

You type in "warts" on Google, you'll see.

We won't live forever, man.

At some point or another,

we'll all get cancer.

- My aunt Dolores

- Huh?

We'll take her for an example.

She got throat cancer.

Did the chemo, tests, all that.

And guess what she's doing now.

What is she doing?

She's an opera singer, dude.

She sings in the opera.

She's not, like, the lead.

She's in the choir and all that.

But the woman is a singer. You get me?

And it had totally destroyed her throat.

I was told that the operation

has a 30% probability success rate.

What do you mean, 30?

- Thirty.

- Raúl, 30 is amazing.

- Yeah, dude, right.

- Hell, yeah. All right, listen.

Imagine I said to you,

"Uh, tonight there's this party,

and there's a 30% possibility it'll rain."

So what then?

Well, I don't know.

I'd take an umbrella, I guess.

Bingo! You know?

- Yeah.

- Okay, here's one.

There's a 30% chance possibly

you'll get laid.

Well, I'd get some condoms for sure.

Maybe a little bit too optimistic,

but, dude, that's the attitude to have.

Listen, you want beans, you plant seeds.

Am I right?

- Plant bean seeds?

- It's an example, okay, Raúl?

- Bean seeds are planted, okay?

- Uh-huh.

So you talk sweet to 'em. Hmm?

All positive. And then after that?

- Well, just say it.

- Then they f*cking grow, Raúl.

- They do?

- Yeah.

But if you don't talk to them nicely

and all that, well, they'll pass away.

And that's how life is, my dude.

I'm not inventing anything.

This is science here, Raúl.

- I had no idea.

- Well, now you do.

[inhales sharply]

But, listen, Edu, a 30% chance

means there's a 70% chance

it won't turn out

the way I want it to, right?

That sounds way, way more likely.

Well, keep trying, Raúl.

You and I can ask around.

Maybe a second opinion's a good plan.

- My cousin's in medicine.

- Yeah, but your cousin's not a doctor.

Now you're trying to tell me

that my cousin's not a doctor?

- No, he isn't.

- The pride of my family, dude.

Who got out of the hood and fixed my back.

He's not a real doctor?

Because he's an acupuncturist.

He does acupuncture.

And I really don't think he can

solve this by shoving needles in my a*s.

Not just acupuncture.

I had him put the weird cups on my back

with the suction cups,

and f*cking A, man, that sh*t works.

I'll call him for you. Okay?

- New subject, all right?

- Okay.

Why are you all dressed up?

Where are you headed?

Not just me, buddy. We're going.

Did you actually bring me to a funeral?

I said I'd be here, dude.

How could I know you'd get dumped today?

- Do you at least know the deceased?

- Yeah.

You remember David?

- No. Who?

- He went to high school with us.

Tall dude, attractive, strong,

and healthy. And boom.

- What? Cancer?

- No, nothing like that.

A bus hit him in the city.

I hooked up with his little brother. Look.

Last week, man.

Here he is, look, in Lloret de Mar.

He was smoking hot and so full of life.

He still has Instagram? But he's dead.

Why don't they delete it?

Dude, there's a postmortem grace period.

It's It's protocol.

No, no. I want you to delete my account.

Relax. Your

Your four followers'll be all good.

Well, thanks a lot.

Well, listen. All this here is really bad.

Not your thing, okay?

We're still here.

There's no coming back from death, dude.

Yeah.

They found the tumor. You're gonna live.

Why do you think I took you here, man?

- To pay your respects, no?

- So you appreciate life, Raúl.

And you f*cking start

to finally live it like you should.

This is super depressing, dude,

and this is not what I want.

No, no, no. A funeral, I don't want it.

Go out and eat some nice paella,

and I'm buying.

That's classy.

And I don't need flowers.

Okay? No flowers.

- They're really not my thing.

- Mm-hmm.

I'm always k*lling them, so no flowers.

Fine, not a petal. Come on, let's go in.

[church bell tolls]

[Marta] My condolences.

There isn't anything to eat?

Ferrero Rocher? Nothing?

- Those must have cost 'em a fortune.

- Well, I didn't have lunch, dude.

In American movies, a spread

at something like this is amazing, and

A whole funeral

just to make themselves feel better?

And in Mexico it's a completely

different story. Have you seen Coco?

No.

Well, yeah. They celebrate the dead.

Probably would have had

chilaquiles and tacos.

As soon as it's done,

they won't even think about this guy.

Oh, look. It's his girlfriend. Over there.

- Thank you for coming.

- Oh, please. I mean, of course.

He was eating dinner with his wife,

and all of a sudden

He got married? I didn't know.

Yeah. Yeah. His wife is a total wreck.

- Edu.

- Hey, Luna.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

- Thank you. Hey, thanks for coming.

- No, it's nothing.

Uh, this is Raúl.

- He went to high school with us.

- Hi. Hi. I'm so sorry.

- Oh, hi. Nice to meet you.

- When we were kids, of course.

It's such a shame.

David still had so much more to do.

And so young.

- He was the love of my life.

- Yeah. Yeah, I know.

- So, how did you get acquainted with

- That guy?

Well, I guess it was like

like 15 or 20 years ago,

and and we, uh

I had a roll in the hay with him.

As a matter of fact, he was my first.

He was the first person

to enter my secret garden.

Yeah, he explored

my whole forest of Narnia.

And you know what? I'll say it.

He even went into the secret cave

behind Narnia.

I'm not sure if

I I'm so sorry for your loss.

Condolences.

- Holy f*cking sh*t.

- [church bell tolls]

We're, uh, gonna head to the mass.

We'll see you, okay?

Yeah. It's gonna begin very soon.

Five minutes.

Thank you.

How did you realize it?

- Huh?

- Come on, Raúl.

I just wanna ask her one question.

One quick thing.

How did you know? It's just you said

that his love was your greatest.

How did you realize it?

Because he's the best person

I ever knew in my life.

And now I feel like

my life without him has no meaning.

But, you know, I'm able to take comfort

he knew how much I cared, so

No one should die

without knowing that feeling.

Not at all.

- No one.

- Well, I'm sorry.

[Luna] Oh.

Thank you.

- [sobs] All right.

- Hey, Raúl, let's go.

No, relax. It's okay, really.

[urinating]

[man clears throat]

[singing "Lascia ch'io pianga"]

Look, right there. Check it out.

Look at the frigging lift.

They didn't clean it, man.

He, like, a big guy?

No, no, no. He was athletic. I told you.

All right, all right,

all right, all right. There it is.

Family and

[singing continues]

Dude, I'm convinced I'll die all alone.

No one to hold my hand or anything.

Don't be silly, man. I'll be there

to hold your hand. You won't die alone.

I don't want you to be the one, man. Jeez.

Family and

[singing continues]

[Raúl] Can't they cut her mic?

This is not about you, chick.

It's not your day.

- Yeah.

- Don't sing the whole song.

I know you're not singing the whole song.

Love is overrated anyway.

You heard of emotional dependency

and how it destroys lives completely?

Says the guy who hasn't been single

in something like 10 years.

Well relax, okay?

Love could be waiting

just around the corner.

Or somewhere unexpected.

- [door opens]

- Our brother, Dave

Holy sh*t!

- Pardon.

- [priest] Take a seat. Take a seat.

[chattering]

Excuse me. Pardon.

[Marta clears throat]

Those shoes are great.

Family and friends, we are gathered today

to bid David one final farewell.

[sighs]

It is good

that in these moments of sadness,

we come together to make

the pain of this loss easier to bear.

It's a Polaroid.

Our brother, David,

has passed in the arms of God.

You agree, then, this whole thing's

a show, and if there's no rhythm here

- Mmm yeah.

- the crowd will lose interest?

And with that, a member of his family here

has asked if they could speak

a few words about David.

PREGNAN

[gasps] You gotta be f*cking kidding me.

- [priest] There she is.

- [Marta] Holy sh*t!

Go ahead when you're ready.

- Huh?

- Your words, if you would?

- I, uh

- [priest] Yeah, speak.

[Marta] Uh

Who is that?

[sighs] Sure, yeah. Of course. Right.

Uh

- Hi there, everyone.

- Has she been drinking?

Uh, what can I say about David?

I can honestly say that I haven't seen him

since high school and

He was a person who was very

He was very energetic,

if you can catch my drift.

Uh, he was a great friend, right?

All the things that you're probably

gonna say here, I'm sure.

Isn't that right, Father?

Listen, David was a f*cking disaster.

[clamoring]

Yes, he was a f*cking disaster.

And don't give me all that, "Oh, oh, oh."

He was probably not

the best son in the world.

He robbed his own parents to buy

a bunch of drugs. Well, I think he did.

Anyway Well, it was one time.

That I knew. Just one.

And he wasn't the best boyfriend

in the world either.

He would cheat on his own girlfriend,

I mean, countless times,

and sometimes it was with me, so I just

Yeah, I definitely f*cked him.

He was a free spirit

is all that I'm trying to say.

He just liked to flow with the wind,

and he did everything that he wanted.

- He was cheating? For real, girl?

- I guess so, but you did too.

But it's not the same at all with me.

You're a little bit slutty, Luna.

Admit it.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say

[sighs]

is I think that he did,

you know, his best.

Much like all of us. Am I right?

We all screw up.

A lot. I mean,

we screw up a whole lot, man.

But none of us are perfect, are we?

And who even cares?

Because, in the end, after we die,

really, there's nothing.

None of this will even matter

a hundred years from now,

when we've all become dust.

Nothing. All that will matter

is what we did, what we've experienced,

and the way it's been experienced.

And if we manage to make the most of life.

That's the gift David left us.

The lesson to live life to the fullest,

no matter what.

Preach, queen, yes.

Really great. Really great.

Sorry. I'll just be quiet and

Anyone out there agree? Hmm?

Or feel like me?

I do.

Oh, not this guy.

- You?

- What are you doing, as*h*le?

Put your hand down.

People are staring at you, man.

COLLSEROLA FUNERAL HOME

[Edu] People know me here,

dude, and you're all,

"Let's just raise my hand up.

That's a great idea."

- It moved me, dude. What can I say?

- Keep it together, dude.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Your twin's over there.

Oh, sh*t. Bro, that chick

went to high school with us.

- Oh, yeah?

- Remember?

She was always getting suspended.

For smoking in the bathroom,

or smoking who knows what.

And going out with that dude

who was like 40 back then.

Do you don't remem?

Where are you going? Where are you?

I'm good. You can go.

Oh, and you just

f*cking do your thing, huh?

[sighs]

Hello there. Um

Hi there.

Well, I, uh, I'm Raúl.

Who?

Yeah, we went to high school together.

Mmm You and I?

Yeah. You were a a grade above me,

I think?

- Mmm

- Marta!

Um

- One year older?

- Marta!

- [Raúl] Mm-hmm.

- Mmm Are you, uh

- Do you have anywhere to be now?

- [partygoer] Marta!

Mmm No. No.

You wanna grab a drink?

- Sure. Yeah, yeah. Great.

- Come on. Okay.

- All right, yeah. That sounds great.

- Yeah. Yeah. Come on. Uh

["TIK TAK" playing]

[inaudible]

[whispering] No, no. No.

- Are we good?

- Yeah.

- Yes. Let's go.

- Okay, here we go.

Yes, all right, there's my guy.

Come on. Get it. Very good.

[sighs]