01x05 - Impotence

[bunniefuu]

Are you back, Tukta?

Nat, have you eaten yet?

ART DIRECTOR

Mr. N.

Tell her whatever's on your mind

Thank you,

Linda.

You misspoke.

Why did you lie?

I

I'm sorry.

Ouch, Linda. Are you a sadist?

Well,

didn't you say you were a free spirit

who could have sex with anyone you wanted?

We just screwed. I'm just a man

who happened to pass by.

I guess you won't be passing by

this way anymore.

The whole world is counting down.

Let's watch it together.

It's going up.

Nine, eight

Please go up.

six, five, four, three

Please go up.

one

Great. That's right.

Space Shuttle Columbia has

It's not going up.

into the sky. Wow!

It won't go up no matter what.

I don't know what to do anymore.

Look! The space shuttle has been launched

into the sky above the United States.

For those of you who may not know,

the Space Shuttle Columbia's mission is

to take humans

into space to orbit around the Earth.

Look at that.

The space shuttle is soaring high.

It's soaring higher and higher.

It's about to penetrate the stratosphere.

Get up there.

To the esteemed Dr. cl*max.

Before I get to the question,

please let me

walk you through my background.

My name is P.

I got married when I was 22.

You could say my sex life was perfect.

I was very lucky to have met my husband

because I'm someone

with an extremely high sex drive,

and, as it happens, he was too.

On weekdays, after coming home from work,

both of us would immediately get horny.

We made love in every square inch

of the house.

And on weekends,

we rarely had our clothes on.

We ate, slept, cuddled,

and made love all day long.

You may not believe me when I say this,

but we cl*max

more than ten times per day.

After ten years of happiness,

my husband started to have trouble

getting it up.

We were so distressed

until his friend introduced us

to a members-only secret club.

And it actually worked.

I got my old husband back.

For some, this place may be

a den of dark morals,

but for us, it was both a hospital

and a five-star hotel

where we used to fulfill

each other's happiness.

My husband died two years ago.

I still regularly visit

the secret club of our memories.

Now, I'm 36 years old.

I weigh 49 kilograms.

My measurements are 34-26-36.

Could you put up an announcement

for someone with the same tastes

to accompany me and ease my loneliness

when I go to the secret club?

MS. P., I CAN'T HELP YOU WITH THIS

AS IT'S OUTSIDE A DOCTOR'S SCOPE OF WORK

What a beautiful and monumental scene

for the human race.

Oh my. Mr. Nat didn't realize

he put your underwear in his wardrobe.

I told him to let me put it away,

but he wouldn't listen.

Aunt Jaem, let me do it.

Are you sure?

Your man will absolutely love it.

Trust me, I've tried it before.

Doctor, I'm Black Ribbon.

Over several years of my married life,

never once

did I ever experience the taste

of utmost pleasure courtesy of my husband.

Recently,

I also caught him having an affair

with another woman.

I was angry at him,

so I decided to get back at him

by also having an affair.

But I found it very strange

that I

found the utmost pleasure

with an unknown man

whom I only met once.

Is what I did wrong, Doctor,

when my husband

also did the same thing?

Ms. Black Ribbon,

your husband having an affair

can't be used as an excuse

to justify your action.

Men and women are entitled

to equal rights nowadays,

and many think that if men are able

to find pleasure outside of marriage,

women should be able to as well.

But that's not the case.

Dr. Nattawut's residence.

Is that Tukta?

Jimjoy?

Yes, it's me.

How have you been?

Are you married?

Not even close. All I do is work.

How can I have time to see anyone?

Who would be as lucky as you?

Hey, we're having a reunion this Friday.

Are you coming? Many of us will be there.

S.T. 20 SUDRUETHAI SCHOOL YEARBOOK

GRADE 12, CLASS 20, ACADEMIC YEAR 1972

How long have we not seen each other?

SAY CHEESE

But I

Terd will be coming too.

He asked about you a lot.

BUTSARAKAM AUMPORNKUL

TERDTHAI CHAIYAWONG

He knows you're married.

See you this Friday. Don't stand me up.

AS A KEEPSAKE

FOR TUKTA

Recently, this column has become

a meeting point for sex freaks.

Someone used it

to look for a swinging partner.

How do I look?

It was done by a widow whose husband died

less than two years ago.

If I were her,

I wouldn't even wait two minutes.

What's going on in our society?

What has happened to people?

Where has the media's conscience gone?

Well said.

It turns out I do look good on camera.

that our society must eliminate promptly.

-What's that?

-Dr. cl*max recommended this.

Hey, hold on. Wait. Sopha

Sopha, stop it right now!

Who are you to tell others

what to do and what not to do?

I never thought I had married such a sl*t.

I also never thought I'd spend my life

with a quickpopper like you.

This is way better than your dong!

The column "The cl*max Question"

Because vibrators are convenient

and long-lasting,

giving you pleasure

as long as the battery lasts.

It's lasting. It lasts long.

Got it?

Will they grow up to become

high-quality citizens of Thailand?

Think about it.

It's now time for us to work together

to protect and fight

Rule breakers everywhere.

Just wait and see.

I shall get rid of you all.

TO THE BANGKOK EXPRESS

THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FROM P.

PHONE NUMBER:

Two, four, eight

Hey!

Don't do it. Don't.

You b*stard, you scared me.

A secret club?

Let me tag along.

It's okay.

If you don't take me with you,

I'll ask the master.

How about that?

Hey, no.

Don't do it.

Cunning brat.

Oh, hello, Doc.

You look so disappointed

'cause you're working with me, not Linda?

Sorry.

Tien.

Let's have a drink this evening.

What?

Great! See you guys this evening.

I'll book a table

Don't butt in. It's adults' business.

Hey. That's enough, Doc!

You put so little liquor.

It's a waste of soda.

If you can't hold your drink,

go and drink at home.

Doc

you have to get over her.

You want me

to get over Tukta?

I meant Linda.

Why do I have to get over Linda?

If you're a gentleman,

you must respect women,

whether it be Linda

or Tukta.

I've read your response

to Ms. Black Ribbon.

You know right from wrong, don't you?

You've fixed problems

for countless people.

It's now time to fix yours.

It'd be great if real life was

as easy to fix as answering letters.

You know what?

Being Dr. cl*max

is a piece of cake.

I can say whatever

'cause they're not my problems.

-I can write anything.

-Shut up.

People will hear you.

-You idiot.

-Let go of me.

-Jeez.

-Jeez.

-Ouch.

-Doc, what the hell is wrong with you?

What is this?

Hey. Doc, give it to me.

-It's my letter.

-Doc, give it to me.

-I know what you're doing. Not a chance.

-Give it back.

Tien.

You gotta choose between Linda and Tukta.

Tien.

Hello there, little lady.

You're sitting by yourself.

Are you thinking of someone?

What does who I think of

have anything to do with you?

It doesn't.

I'm just worried about you.

I was just joking.

Where are you going with all that stuff?

It's because of Choo.

He docked half of my pay.

How can I afford my rent?

So I'll be crashing

in the meeting room for now.

Actually, if you have nowhere to go,

you can crash on my sofa.

Well, well!

Look at you.

Does this mean

you have feelings for me, little lady?

Or do you want to go to Tien

or your Dr. Nat instead?

You know, those two have gone out

for a drink and fun times together.

No one cares about me.

Well then,

shall we

go for a drink too?

Bottoms up!

You hold your liquor quite well.

Do you have a girlfriend?

Well,

I've had some, but not that serious.

That means you've done it, right?

Well, I do know a little thing

or two about it.

Well then, do you want us to teach you?

Sure, I want to do

I mean, I want to learn from you ladies.

-First, take off your cap.

-Are we doing it here?

-For starters. Let me see.

-Yes?

Which style should we go for?

This style

is kind of cute.

Let me see.

-I can't hold it anymore.

-Is it okay?

-Hey.

-Ouch.

Do you take your studies at school

this seriously?

Didn't you say I was the sexiest?

Ouch, Linda.

You're the prettiest, cutest,

and sexiest lady in my heart.

It's true.

Well then, I will

teach you myself.

Cheers. Tonight, we must

One, two, three.

Hey, so who exactly is this man?

A full-time Bangkok Express writer.

The Bangkok Express?

Yes, the Bangkok Express.

His name is Thong Tien.

He's quite famous.

He also seems to be

very close to your son.

What are they trying to snatch

in this photo?

I'm not sure either,

but it looks like a piece of paper.

Well then, keep a close eye on this man.

Report anything unusual to me right away.

Will do, ma'am.

May I ask what you're worried about?

What is it exactly?

Well, is there a single decent person

at the Bangkok Express?

This man isn't any better.

By the way, don't come

to see me here again.

I can go out to meet you somewhere.

If you're seen, I'll be in trouble.

Well then, I'd better go now. Goodbye.

You look so meek and reserved today.

Did you do something bad?

No, I didn't.

It's nothing. Are you worried about me?

Don't let me find out what it is.

Oh, hey, Linda.

You want to take a leave

to go back to Hat Yai?

This whole week?

Get some rest. Take care.

Why did you come back here exactly?

To pay respect to Dad.

I haven't seen you do anything

besides sitting and sighing all day.

You obviously came back

to run away from your problems.

If you're tired,

take a break.

But in the end,

you'll still have to go back

and face your problems.

The battles

The battles I must fight

I'll have to fight them no matter what.

I know that, Mom.

Let's eat.

Your sodas are here.

-Ped.

-Yes?

Close the store and meet me upstairs.

All right.

-Mom.

-What?

I don't want a new dad

who's younger than me.

Stop complaining.

I've waited long enough.

Have you never done it with a young lad?

It's a joyous day for the people

of England and the United Kingdom

to be witnessing their royal wedding.

The people who have come to receive them

are still cheering with joy.

They both have smiles on their faces

and look very happy.

And this is the face

of Lady Diana Spencer,

Princess of Wales,

who is absolutely stunning.

Next to her is Prince Charles,

son of Queen Elizabeth II

and Prince Philip.

Now, they have come out to greet people

on the balcony of Buckingham Palace.

Both look happy about the new life

that they're about to begin.

Thank you.

You're new, right?

There's a first time for everyone.

S.T. REUNION GRADE 12/2

Terd.

Why aren't you going inside?

Our friends want to see you so much.

Well

Let's go inside together

But I know that you don't like

this kind of gathering.

Terd.

Where are you taking me?

Just come.

Hey, wait.

Thank you.

Is married life

how you imagined?

I never imagined what it'd be like.

When I was 14,

my mom told me I'd marry this guy one day.

I just thought that I had to marry him.

I once asked you not to marry him

and

elope with me.

Do you remember?

I do.

If

you had eloped with me

we would probably

have dozens of kids by now.

But

it's better this way.

If you'd come with me,

you'd have become just

the wife of a small-time lawyer.

No, Terd.

If I'd eloped with you,

I might have been happier.

THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FROM P.

PHONE NUMBER:

Tien.

About the letter,

I said it because I was worried about you.

I already threw it away.

Tien.

You told me to choose between

Tukta and Linda.

I know right from wrong

but how come when I'm with Tukta,

I only think of Linda?

Hey, Doc.

Are you really ready to lose everything?

It's not like you have nothing to lose.

The fact that

I don't have a child with Tukta

is because of me.

I

I don't dare have kids with her.

And more importantly

I like myself when I'm with Linda.

What's wrong, Terd?

I have to go, Tukta.

I

gotta help my wife look after our kids.

This is our eldest.

She's about to turn three.

Her name is Tuk.

And this is our youngest.

She's just five months old.

Her name is Ta.

I'll get going.

Here's the menu, miss.

What would you like to drink?

I'd like to try this.

A Bloody Mary, right?

Yes.

Is the drink not good?

Try this. You might like it.

Why are you looking at me?

You don't look

like you belong in a place like this.

Do we need someone to tell us

what kind of woman

belongs in a place like this?

You're staring at me again.

Today

is my wedding anniversary.

His wife's family's staring

like they're out for our blood.

Aren't you used to it?

Don't provoke her,

or she'll hate you as well.

Even if I do nothing, she hates me anyway.

Who cares?

We don't live with her or anything.

And we did nothing wrong.

But she said you seduced Dad.

She refuses to accept

that he forced himself on you

and got you pregnant with me.

One baht.

Linda's mother is a mistress.

That's why she really hates

men who cheat on their wives.

Thank you.

Hey, wait.

There's more.

Actually, we met her

before she went back to the South.

Do you know who she brought along?

It was a boy named Pol.

Do you know him?

I guess you do.

They went back together.

Seriously,

I'm sure Linda didn't let him get away.

No doubt. They were so drunk as well.

Hey, hold on, Doc!

Wait. Hold on! What's going on?

The other night, you and Linda

Did you and Linda do it?

Doc,

with her consent,

who wouldn't do it?

If it was you, you'd do it too, right?

Permpol.

Why?

Why did you lie?

But I didn't do it!

I know

that you were doing it with Linda.

And I know you already have a wife.

You may call a brat like me nosy,

but when you and Linda said

you two just screwed,

was it really just that?

You know how much I respect you.

But I also love Linda.

I won't let her get hurt again.

I hope you understand.

Mr. Tien?

Yes. You are

Ms. P.?

You can call me Plern.

Okay, Plern.

So, shall we go inside now?

Don't be scared.

Who's that? He looks familiar.

Come here! You

Go!

Do you like it?

I'm not sure.

But your friend seems to think otherwise.

I said you were okay.

Do you believe me now?

You're just bored of the same old world.

Welcome

to the new world.

You must change

things that must be changed.

And you must fight

the battles that must be fought.