01x03 - Bata Bande Tu Kiska Paap Hai?

[bunniefuu]

Oh, no.

Such tantrums, I tell you.
But don't worry, sir.

I am Dr. Luna Tic
from Oxford University.

Sir, his expressions
don't look right to me.

His life is in danger, sir.

We need to take him to a hospital

-before he arrives.
-Before who arrives?

I mean before some
new disease arrives.

Greetings, Malik uncle.

You k*lled my father,
Sultan Qureshi.

You are dead meat, dude.

♪ Who is my pop? ♪

♪ Who is my daddy? ♪

♪ Who is my pop? ♪

♪ Who is my daddy? ♪

♪ Who is my pop? ♪

♪ Who is my daddy? ♪

♪ Who is my pop? ♪

♪ Who is my daddy? ♪

You see, a man's karma
decides his fate.

Aadmi.

-That's what I said.
-That's exactly what I said.

Aadmi.

Hey, don't you dare lay
a finger on my SS!

SS?

That's my name.

It's you.

At the hospital, Pihu's house,
my house,

-it was all you.
-Yes.

One has to make space for love.

Love?

Come on, you six-legged man.

Show me what you got! Show me--

Stop.

Stop.

You bloody dog, let me go!

What kind of an aadmi is he?

Yes! Yes! 3... 2... 1... go!

No. Stay back.

-Bravo!
-Stop, stop! Are you nuts?

Moti, go-go-go! Shoo!

This is a g*n, not a biscuit.
Stay back.

Oh, God.

Stop.

Quiet.

Moti, I mean Aadmi, shoo!
Stay back.

Hey, shoo, shoo!

Just stop.

Stop. Stop.

I am tired. Stop.

For the sake of your master,
stop!

Stop. Stop!

Sit down!

I said sit down!
Do you know what you are wearing?

Time out.

What do you think you are doing?

What is this?

Attaching two extra hands

and a knife
won't make you a man.

Your name is Aadmi.

Don't take yourself so seriously

because man can talk.

Can you talk? No.

Why? Because you are a dog.

Your father was a dog.

You are a bloody mutt.

You can only bark.

Do you know why?

Because you are a dog.

Your father was a dog.

You are a bloody mutt.

Your uncle is a dog.
Your aunt is a dog.

Your friends are dogs.
Your father is a dog.

You come from a family of dogs.

You are a dog!

A dog...

What is happening?

Heart attack?

Popsi... Like Popsi, he's...

Anyone?

Hello?

Okay, fine. Your name is Aadmi.

You k*lled him!

You k*lled my Aadmi.

I didn't k*ll him.
He died due to natural causes.

He had a heart attack.
What can I do?

You snatched the apple of my eye.

Malik, I didn't k*ll him.

He died of--

Don't try to change
the topic, Malik.

The truth is you k*lled my father.

And I shall avenge his death.

You are dead, Malik.

Stop, young man!

Stop.

Don't soak your hands

with his corrupted blood, Sadiq.

But, Grandpa, he k*lled my father.

So, I will take his life.

That bungalow belongs
to Malik Siddique. Let's go.

Stop this freaking madness,

for God's sake!

What revenge?

What redemption for your father?

The truth is

Sultan is not your father!

He is not your father!

Not your father!

Not your father!

Not your father!

What do you mean
Sultan Qureshi is not my father?

What do I do?

Who is my real father?

-Tell us!
-I cannot.

-You will have to tell us.
-I cannot.

-Tell us. Tell us.
-No.

I cannot tell you.

What do you mean
you cannot tell us?

I cannot tell you.

For God's sake, show some mercy.

I cannot tell you.

-Why?
-I cannot tell you.

-Cannot tell you.
-Tell me!

♪ Tell me, boy
Whose blunder you are ♪

♪ Tell me, boy
Whose blunder you are ♪

♪ Tell me who your pop is ♪

♪ Tell me who your pop is ♪

♪ Tell me, boy
Whose blunder you are ♪

♪ Tell me, boy
Whose blunder you are ♪

♪ Tell me who your pop is ♪

♪ Tell me who your pop is ♪

♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me
Tell me where he is ♪

♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me
Tell me where he is ♪

♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me
Tell me where he is ♪

♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me ♪

♪ Tell me! ♪

♪ If you are the glass
Who is the bottle? ♪

♪ If you are the hatchling... ♪

♪ If you are the hatchling
Who is the snake? ♪

♪ If you are the hatchling
Who is the snake? ♪

♪ If I am the grill
Who is the meat? ♪

♪ If you are the question
Who is the answer? ♪

♪ If you are the cover
Who is the book? ♪

♪ If you are you ♪

♪ If you are you
Who is your dad? ♪

♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me
Tell me where he is ♪

♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me
Tell me where he is ♪

♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me
Tell me where he is ♪

♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me ♪

♪ Tell me! ♪

It's a long story.

Then tell me in short.

But I am wearing pyjamas.

And I will rip it off.
Hurry up.

This story...

dates back to the time

when my son, Sultan,

worked at Gafoor's restaurant.

Welcome, sir. Hello.

What brings you to our restaurant?

My car broke down,
and I thought why not.

How can I be of service to you?

I haven't had a bite to eat
since morning.

-Was busy all day.
-Please have a seat.

I'll send some water for you first

and then serve you
a cold glass of buttermilk.

Chotu, clean the table.

-Give him some water.
-Thank you. Thank you.

Boss, you are here.

Whose child is this?

The lady who lives
in our neighbourhood.

-I see.
-This is her child.

I brought him along
because I felt like it.

What is his name?

I call him Laddoo.

No wonder I want to eat him up.

-He is too cute.
-True.

Take a seat.
I'll send some water for you.

-Yes.
-Sir, your buttermilk.

The buttermilk was amazing.

But you haven't tasted it yet.
Try it.

What happened?

Riots have broken out
in Sadar Bazaar.

It's a m*ssacre.
Shops have been set on fire.

Sadar Bazaar?

-Sultan.
-Yes.

My mother and sister are
out shopping in Sadar Bazaar.

You take care of him.
I'll be right back.

Look after your sister,
and I will look after him.

Listen, keep Laddoo safe
until I return.

No one can lay a finger...

Boy, pack the laddoos
and load them in the car.

Stay back!

I will give my life
but never give Laddoo.

-Is he mad?
-You are mad.

Nonsense.

What happened?

Later, my son, Sultan,

took that innocent little boy
to Gafoor's house.

But the entire place
had been burnt to the ground.

The neighbours had no clue
about what happened to Gafoor.

So, Sultan took that boy in.

That boy is you.

The riots had also
destroyed the restaurant

where Sultan worked.

So, Sultan took up a job

with minister Brij Kishore Trivedi

as his bodyguard.

Actually, son, you are not Sadiq.

You are Laddoo.

Why didn't you tell me this earlier?

Greed, son. Greed.

I wanted to tell you.

But you had already bought a TV,
a fridge and an AC.

And I didn't want to
break your heart.

I was disappointed with myself

for the way I treated you.

So, I started investigating again

and recently found out

that Gafoor is no longer alive.

But his son is still alive.

Basheer Badbola.

-Basheer Badbola?
-Basheer Badbola?

Who cares if Gafoor is dead?

His son is still alive.

He will tell you who your father is.

Pihu isn't picking up her phone.

I wonder what she is doing.

I don't know what she is doing.

But I do know what she is not doing.

-What?
-She is not picking up your phone.

Keep your filthy tongue
in your mouth,

-shameless concubine.
-Concubine?

If anyone's going to talk now,
it will be him.

He is going to talk.

-Say it!
-He is going to talk.

-He will talk.
-He will talk.

-He will talk.
-He will talk.

-He will talk.
-He will talk.

-He will talk.
-He will talk.

-He will talk.
-He will talk.

Why do you look pale?

I got it, bro.

Your father is Chinese.

Mr. Moya Yoni.

No wonder momos
are your favourite.

He cannot speak.

His name is Badbola,

but he can't speak.

I would have found my real father

if you could tell me.

But you can't tell me.

-What to do?
-I know he can't talk,

but he can write it down.

Yes.

He is going to write.

-Marvellous.
-Bro, he's illiterate!

Do we have to play dumb charades
with him now?

Crazy? He's crazy.

"Your."

Write it down.

Yes.

My moustache?

Can I guess?

-"Bald."
-He isn't saying "bald" at all.

No.

Whose moustache?

Jeetu-ji?

"Dad."

Write "your dad."

"Your dad..."

Sentence.

He's making us write down
a sentence.

We'll need an entire season
to finish writing this sentence.

Come straight to the name.

Calm down. Calm down.
Peace.

He said that correctly.

Two. Two.

I have two fathers?

-Two words.
-Two words. Correct.

English.

My father is an Englishman?

First word.

What's he doing?

"Driver."

Driver with a sore throat.

"Vehicle."

-In English...
-"Treadmill."

It's "car."

"Car." Write "car."

Second. "Jacket." "Hanging."

On what?

"Wire"?

Hindi of "wire."

"Taar."

Write "taar."

"Car taar."

"Kartar"? Kartar!

Kartar. Surname?

"Buffalo."

"Honey."

Honey singing.

"Honey Singh"?

But Honey Singh is too young
to be my father.

"Singh."

Kartar Singh.

First Hindu, then Muslim,

and now I am a Sikh.

Son of Sardar!

It will be painful. Very painful.

No, it won't. It won't pain.

I know it will be painful.

Let's skip the injection.

It won't be painful at all.
Inject me.

Come on, Doctor, inject me.

I am scared of injections.

It's all right, Doctor.

Don't worry about a thing
and inject me.

Let me hold your hand.
Here you go.

-I am here for you.
-Yeah.

Now inject me.

-Come on.
-Where?

Right here. Come on.

See, nothing happened.

Nothing happened.

Nothing happened.

Thank you.

Being a patient,
you are so patient.

Nurse, don't charge him any fee.

Thank you.
Thank you, Doctor.

Thank you so much.

Why don't you ask him
for the address?

Add...

I will need an entire lifetime
to find out the address from him.

How will I find him?

Don't worry.

456, Karol Bagh.

Behind the Gurdwara.

-You can talk?
-Yes.

Why were you making us exercise
our teeth for so long?

-Why didn't you just tell us?
-Oh, sorry.

Actually,
I was observing a vow of silence.

-You bloody--
-Bro.

Go find your father.

I will take care of this Badbola.

-All the best.
-This one's fake.

Kartar Singh.

We'll have to run
a few blood tests on him.

I'll bring him right back.

Yes problem.

Yes problem?

Isn't it "no problem"?

Are you crazy?
It's "yes" problem.

Take him along.
I am right here, Grandpa.

Vandana, I really like him.

But I cannot do it.

I mean wooing, seduction...

It's not my cup of tea.

No, dude.

Your bloody no...

What's all the "no" about?

I am sorry, but...

I couldn't control myself
hearing your negative conversation.

And you, be positive.

You can do it.

A woman can do anything
in this world.

And I mean anything.

She can seduce anyone

or impress any guy,
like this.

Okay.

Here's what you can do.

Why don't you seduce someone?

And I will do anything you say.

Okay, but here?

-Yes.
-Next.

By the way,

I have heard that
Dr. Singh is a very decent man.

Try seducing him.

The doctor?

Okay, let's do it.

Hello. Hello.

I am Dr. Kartar Singh.

Specialist in feeling,
healing and dealing with

all types of conditions
in my dear patients.

Doctor, my friend has
an external injury.

Oh. She has an external injury.

If she is hurt,
why are you looking so serious?

Because I am hurt too... internally.

Internal?

Doctor, sleepless at night,

restless during the day.

See how hot I am.

You are not hot at all.

Doctor, take a good look.
I am so hot.

Only the stethoscope has any scope

of checking here.

Nurse.

-Heart.
-No.

-Injection.
-Yes, Doctor. Right away.

Doctor...

have you watched Cheeni Kum?

It had an incredible message.

What incredible message?

That love doesn't depend on age.

It depends on the size
of your waist.

I think you are
in the wrong kitchen.

I mean you're in the wrong clinic.

I am a happily married man,

and I can never cheat on my wife.

That's even better.

The real joy of plucking flowers
is when the gardener's looking.

And being with me is fun
when no one's looking.

Don't do this, please!

God, this man
is colder than my fridge.

-Yeah, Sahil.
-Where are you, Pihu?

I have been trying to
call you for so long.

Yes, yes. I brought Grandpa
to the clinic, so...

Oh, sh*t! Grandpa.

Just a second.

Excuse me.
Can you get my grandpa, please?

-Right away.
-Thank you.

Yes problem.

Yes, Sahil.

I found out who my new papa
and your father-in-law is.

-What?
-We will go meet him together, okay?

-I am coming right away.
-Yes.

Now no one can stop us
from being together.

No one.

Thank you very much
for showing up.

Thank you.

Vikram Singhania.

Deendayal Sharma.

Iqbal Qureshi.

Thank you.

Mr. Malik.

I heard the news.

It's sad.

Don't mind,

but was he your man?

Aadmi was a dog.

Men are dogs.

Ask your wife.

They will all say
all men are dogs.

My dog died.

Your dog?

Two tragedies in a single day.

His name was Aadmi.

-Then who was the dog?
-I am a dog! My father was a dog!

I come from a family of dogs!

Why are you here?

I came here to give my condolences,
Mr. Malik, and to make you an offer.

Condolences accepted.

What is the offer?

This is my offer.

I read in a book that,

if one man has two enemies,

those two enemies
can become friends.

Are you here to promote the book?

Not the book, Mr. Malik.

I am here to tell you
we have a common enemy.

He snatched my seat from me
and your dog from you.

-Sahil.
-Who is Sadiq now.

If Sadiq is Who, who is Who then?

Not Doctor Who!

I meant "who."

Sahil, who is known as Sadiq now.

Malik, if we join hands,

we can ensure another funeral.

Sadiq's funeral.

After Aadmi's death,

I met a real dog.

Call me a rascal.

♪ Who is my pop? ♪

♪ Who is my daddy? ♪

My real pops.

Father...

Papa-ji. Papa-ji!

♪ Who is my pop? ♪

♪ Who is my daddy? ♪

♪ Who is my pop? ♪

♪ Who is my daddy? ♪