02x11 - Stavros Live and in Concert

[bunniefuu]

♪

Dave: Here we go.
You got the lambs?

Terry: Yeah. Just one thing...

why, exactly,
are we using lambs?

Dave: It's symbolism, dummy.
The lambs are Krapopolites.

The wolves are us,
the Athena Boys,

and we will lead them
like lambs to the slaughter

if they don't bow down
to Athena.

Man: Sorry. Just checking.

Do wolves lead lambs
to slaughter?

Terry: Yeah, and you know
it was a real pain

to get all those wolves.

What happened to k*lling
livestock, raiding silos, fires?

Dave: Any group of knuckleheads
could just k*ll lambs.

This makes a statement.

Terry: But won't they
just think it's wolves?

Dave: Well, if they do,
that's on them.

Terry: Yeah. I just think we
should be way more intentional

about the statement
that we're making.

Dave: Save it for next time.
Bolt. Bolt!

Men: [Shout]

Tyrannis: Mummy, stop that.
My feet were clean ages ago.

Stupendous: Morning, sunshine.
I caught more Athena Boys.

Tyrannis: The ones who sow chaos
in cities for Athena's glory?

What do they do this time,
k*ll some sheep?

Terry: It was symbolism.
Tyrannis: For what?

Terry: Honestly,
I was confused, too.

Stupendous: Terry?

But you're one of my best guys.
Why would you do this?

Terry: My love for
the many times we've chilled

and relaxed together is second
only to my allegiance to Athena.

Stupendous: Throw them
in the dungeon, the dirty one.

Tyrannis: The dirty one?

But Terry was with you when
you got your first wolf sleeve.

Stupendous: In battle,
you have friends and enemies,

no middle ground.

There goes the third best friend

and second worst sex buddy
I ever had.

Ty, I think you have
a problem here.

Tyrannis: Yes. I do.

You're making a bigger deal of
some fringe wackos than I would,

and I have a big day tomorrow,

so could you please
let me sleep?

Stavros, the famous lute player,
is in town.

Stupendous:
How often do you dream

about Mom washing your feet?

Tyrannis: It's more
of a nightmare, really.

Stupendous: You seem to be
enjoying it.

Tyrannis: That's why
it's a nightmare.

♪

Men: ♪ Uh

♪

♪ Uh

♪ Uh

♪ Uh uh uh whoo!

Tyrannis: Don't worry,
only a little further

to the Athena Boys'
hiding place.

Stupendous:
So when we get there,

I can go leash off, right?

Tyrannis: Are you
generally leashed?

Stupendous: Yeah. I'm always
digging my fingernails

into my palm to remind me
not to go full Stup.

I have a lot of anger.

Tyrannis: OK, so I may
have been exaggerating

when I said where we were going,

but I think you'll like this
even better.

Stupendous: Better than going
leash off on the Athena Boys?

Tyrannis: Maybe.

Stupendous: Oh, no, no, no.

Is this for that blind guy
with the lute?

Tyrannis: His name is Stavros,
and his lack of sight

only improves his miraculous
sense of hearing,

and I'm already late
for the show.

Stupendous: Ty, there are
dissidents in the city,

and you took the head
of the military to a concert?

Tyrannis: Joy persists
in the face of chaos.

Stupendous: Do you realize
what a bad look this is?

Can you at least pretend
to take the situation seriously?

Tyrannis: It's not even
entirely clear to me

what the situation is...

Stupendous: Ty...

Tyrannis: but... yes, yes...
of course

I will take it seriously,
and I will not look

like I'm not taking it
seriously, either.

Now can I stand
on your shoulders?

Stupendous: Not in those shoes.

Enjoy your dumb lute fest.
I've got to defend your city.

Tyrannis: I will enjoy the show,

but I will not get you
a souvenir vase.

Alexi: Hey, no cutting.

What's a barkless freak like
you doing at a Stavros concert?

Tyrannis: His music
isn't just for wood nymphs.

"Lute Goat Fable"
changed my life,

and I think
there's been a mix-up.

I need the king line,
the line for king,

so no line, just... zzzzzpit!
Right to the front.

Alexi: You got ears where your
branch should be or something?

Back of the line!

Tyrannis: You've got ears, too,
and you're not a tree.

Stavros: ♪ If peace fell down
in the forest ♪

♪ And no one
was around to hear ♪

♪ It would sound like love

[Cheering and applause]

Nymph: I mean, an entire
lyrical story where nobody dies.

He's a genius.

Tyrannis:
He's calling them songs.

Mind if I climb you?

Can't tell if you're saying no

or just going still
so I can climb you.

Athena: Ty, is that you?

Tyrannis: Athena?

Athena: What? Who?
No. Get serious.

You're right. It's me... Athena.
I'm incognito.

Who wants special treatment
at a Stavros show, right?

Tyrannis: I don't know.
A goddess maybe?

Athena: Or a king.

Wouldn't have pegged you
as a Stavros fan.

Tyrannis: I'm a man
of many interests...

lyrical lute, defending my city
from saboteurs,

not dying in a spaceship
you launched me in.

Athena: Yeah. Well, I'll let you
enjoy the show in peace.

Tyrannis: Yeah.

I'll leave you alone,
you leave me alone.

Athena: Fine.

Tyrannis: Perfect.

All: ♪ Fight fire
with friendship ♪

♪ Go up to the flame
and hold it close ♪

♪ Friendship never burns
if you hold it tight ♪

♪ Pick up your heart
and put down the fight ♪

♪

Shlub: There you are, darling.

You're just in time
for your evening foot rub.

Deliria: Oh, I can't.
I'm off for the evening.

Shlub: Good.

Well, should I have the servants
take the foot rub to go?

We'll have a pedicure picnic.

I've been meaning
to feed you grapes.

Deliria: That sounds nice, but...

Shlub: But what?

Deliria: But nothing.

I just have something else
I want to do.

Shlub: Should I have them
do manicures instead?

Deliria: I'm afraid
you don't understand, my love.

I have plans.

Shlub: Well, I could
come with you if you...

Deliria: No, Schlub.
This is my me time.

Worker ant exit.

Shlub: I may not be
a mind reader,

but I know when
I'm being asked to pursue.

Hippocampus: Sounds like she
wants to be alone for a while.

Shlub: So, what,
I'm supposed to just take

what your mother says
at face value?

Hippocampus: Yes.

Shlub: Oh, Hippo, you have
so much to learn about love.

Hippocampus: Sure, Dad,

as long as I get to test out
this procedure.

Shlub: [Gulp]

Mm, not feeling anything.

That's because
I still have to do this.

Shlub: Uh!

Hippocampus: Perfect.

Shlub: No, it isn't.
I look nothing like an ant.

Hippocampus: I broke the laws
of nature and made you tiny.

What do you want,
a costume, too?

Shlub: Could we try that?

Tyrannis: When he went
into that sistrum breakdown

in "Forest of Hugs"...

Athena: Oh, I know.

I almost lost it, and I've heard
Apollo and Pan's jam sessions.

Tyrannis: It's like he's
speaking to my soul.

Athena: None of the other gods
really get Stav.

It's nice to have someone
to talk to about him.

Tyrannis: I mean, of all the
people in the world to run into

at a Stavros concert,
it had to be you.

Athena: It is
sort of nice, though.

Dave: King Tyrannis,
we heard you'd be here.

We wanted to make sure
you got our message,

and by message, we mean
we're gonna beat you up.

Tyrannis: Yep.

I was just heading home
to think about that message.

Great seeing you guys.

Dave: Rrgh...

Tyrannis: Aah!

Oh, my God, am I dead?

Is this what it's like,
just life but higher up?

Athena: Looked like
you could use a ride.

Now we can go over his setlist.

Tyrannis: Thank you,
but those were your boys.

Aren't you part of this?

Athena: I barely know
those guys.

Sure, they like me.

Lots of weirdos
do stuff in my name.

You get it? You're king.

With respect and power
come creeps.

Tyrannis: Right, but as long
as they're threatening

everything I stand for, or
whatever it is they're doing...

I'm not entirely clear on it
either, to be honest...

but my sister feels
very strongly about it

and wants me
to take it seriously.

Athena: We shouldn't be
seen together. I get it.

Can you imagine if your mom
knew we were hanging out?

Tyrannis: Oh, God.

Athena: I almost
want to see that.

Tyrannis: Oh, no, no, no.
Secret friendship.

Athena:
OK, OK, secret friendship.

Both: ♪ The trees and the rocks
and the rivers are friends ♪

♪ The clouds in the sky
and the creatures are friends ♪

♪ There's nothing in the world
that isn't a friend ♪

♪ Because friends and
not having friends are friends ♪

Tyrannis: Stup, you know Athena,
my new... friend.

Are you...

Oh, boy.

Tyrannis: ♪ Hey, na, na, na, na,
na, na, na, na ♪

Stupendous: Ty, you cannot
be friends with Athena.

Tyrannis: Where's the bread?

Stupendous: Those frigging
Athena Boys slashed

bags of wheat as a threat
to Demeter worshipers.

They're saying every slash
represents a wound

in the city's wheat supply.

Tyrannis: That's not
what it represents.

That's what it is.

There's no abstraction.
Where's the metaphor?

Stupendous: So they're
not great abstractors.

There's still no bread.

Surprised your friend
didn't tell you,

or were you too busy hearing

about famous battles
set to harp?

Tyrannis: Athena and I
don't talk about that stuff.

It's a marker of maturity

to have a friendship
with boundaries...

and Stavros
doesn't sing about w*r.

Hippocampus: Dad?

Stupendous: Does Stavros sing
about a king being so stupid,

his whole city falls apart?

Tyrannis: That doesn't sound
like a very good song.

Hippocampus: Whew...

Stupendous: I'm telling you, Ty,

this friendship
is gonna be a problem.

Tyrannis: I've got my eye
on the Athena Boys.

Don't you worry.

Stupendous: Just promise me

you will not hang out
with her again.

Tyrannis: I promise.

Athena: So when he says,
"What if the children

grew as tall as trees?"
he's talking about us.

We're the trees,
or at least that's my theory.

Tyrannis: Brilliant.
I've never thought of that.

Athena: OK. Get ready to lose
your freaking mind, dude.

Here it is... my Stavros cave.

Tyrannis: No way.

You have
a limited-edition tapestry

from his Dancing Dolphins Tour?

They only made, like...

Athena: 40 of them? Yeah.

Tyrannis: I hate to put
my king hat back on, but...

Athena: Your crown?

Tyrannis: Right.
Well, those boys of yours...

Athena: Ty, I told you.

I don't have anything
to do with them.

Tyrannis: I know. I know.

Athena: Can't we
just be Stav bros?

Tyrannis: Yes, of course,
but I'm also king,

and my sister thinks
I need to be

taking more of a public stand.

Athena: Maybe you need
to worry a little less

about what everybody else
thinks.

You gotta believe in you.

Tyrannis: "You gotta
believe in you."

I like that. Is that Stavros?

Athena: Yeah, isn't it?
I think so.

Tyrannis: Deep cuts.

Athena: Oh, that reminds me.
Can I show you another secret?

Tyrannis: The original toga
from his first-ever show?

I've only ever seen it
on vases and in my dreams.

Athena: Yep. I had my boys
get that one for me.

You don't want to know
who they k*lled for it.

I'm kidding. Ha ha!

Tyrannis: Ha. Of course.

♪

Shlub: Have you seen my wife?

Ant: I don't have
any drugs, man.

[Laughter]

Deliria: Patty, you're making
my abdomen hurt.

Patty: I swear, the whole time
she's talking to me,

sap all over her mandible.

Our queen is a hot mess.

Dolores: I wouldn't mind
being queen.

At least she doesn't
have to put up with crap

from that loser Randall.

Deliria: You know
I'd k*ll that guy for you.

Winnifred: Deliria,
there's a guy here to see you,

says he's your husband.

Shlub: Surprise.
Did you miss me?

Deliria: Why are you here?

Shlub: Are you not happy
to see me?

Deliria: Well, I did
tell you not to come,

but now that you're here,
why are you here?

Shlub: Taking an interest
in your hobbies.

I see that you're an ant,

so then how may I be
of thorax-sistance...

give them fire, eat their young?

I'm here to support
all your kinks.

Deliria: It's nothing like that.

All I usually do
is float around, be adored.

I just come down here
to be a worker ant,

do some real work...

you know, lift 20 times
my body weight with my girls.

It's a nice change of pace.

Shlub: Oh, yes. I see.

Well, that sounds like
its own kind of fun.

Deliria: Oh, never mind.

Shlub: No, no.
I think it's marvelous.

I'll push the grain with you.

Deliria: If you really want to
join in, get with the male ants.

They're in line
to copulate with the queen.

Shlub: Copulation line?

Well, that sounds
too good to be true.

Are you sure you're not
just trying to get rid of me?

Deliria: Honestly, it seems
like I couldn't if I tried.

Manus: ♪ Doodle ee deedle da
doodle la doodle la ♪

♪ Deedle la diddle la
diddle la doodle la did ♪

At this point, he sings...

♪ very high...

and then the strings go...

♪ Doodly, doodly doodly...

Athena: Manus, volume down.

Manus: ♪ Diddly
doodle la diddly... ♪

Tyrannis: I've spent
years looking

for a Work-Man
who knows Stavros.

You rule.

Athena: It's so nice
to just be able

to do something low-key
like this.

Usually with kings, it's all,
"Sponsor me. Protect my wife."

Tyrannis: That's me...
Low-Key Ty,

no wife at all so far,
but fingers crossed.

Is it a little crowded?

Why don't we just, um,
hang out over here?

Athena: See,
this is what I mean.

You don't even need
to be seen with me.

It's so refreshing.

Tyrannis: I don't just not need
to be seen with you.

I need not to be seen with you.

Sorry. That came out
worse than I expected.

Athena: Because
of the Athena Boys.

Tyrannis: No. It's...
because of the Athena Boys, yes.

Man: King Tyrannis,
they've blockaded the river.

We can't get goods in or out.

Tyrannis: Who has?

Man: Uh, the Athena Boys.

Tyrannis: Uh, all right.

Well, of course,
I will take care of it.

Man: Oh, great.

Tyrannis: What's that
supposed to mean?

Man: You've done
a great job so far.

Tyrannis: Ouch.

Athena: All right.
This is just sad. Let me help.

Tyrannis: No.
What do you mean? How?

Athena: What is Stavros
all about?

Tyrannis: Friendship, dolphins,
tree sexuality.

Athena: Exactly, and peace.

People of Krapopolis...

Tyrannis: Um...

Athena: I, the mighty Athena,
will host a concert in your city

along with King Tyrannis,
a concert for peace,

a peace concert with Stavros.

Tyrannis: He's actually
really underrated.

Stupendous: Seriously, Ty?
You're still friends?

Tyrannis: Aah!

Winnifred: So he came all
this way from another colony

just to find you?

Dolores: That is
so romantic, Deliria,

even if his thorax and antennae
do seem kind of wonky.

Winnifred: So he's not the most
handsome guy. He's nice.

That's gotta count
for something.

Dolores: I wish I could find
an ant like that.

Deliria: Of course you could.
You're gorgeous.

Patty: Are you kidding me,
Dolores?

Winnifred: I wish
I had your petiole.

Dolores: My colony sense.
Something's wrong.

Winnifred: I feel it, too.

Shlub's in trouble,
and the queen is dead

from excessive sexual pleasure.

Shlub: I don't understand.
You want to go home already?

Deliria: Thank you, but I think
I've had enough for today.

Shlub: But I was the best
stud ant in the colony.

I thought you'd
at least be impressed.

Deliria: The point wasn't
to be the best, Shlub.

The point was to be
completely unremarkable.

Shlub: Well,
that'll be hard now.

Deliria: What do you mean?

[Gasps]

♪

Ants: Hail the queen!
Hail the queen!

Deliria: Stop. Stop!

I'm not in line for the throne.
Put me down.

♪

Tyrannis: I can't believe this...

Stavros performing
just for my city,

and this will surely
bring peace.

Of course our friendship
isn't a problem.

It's the solution.

Athena: Plus... Stavros concert.

Both: Stavros!

Man: Yes!
Woman: I love you.

Stavros: Thank you
to King Tyrannis

and Athena
for organizing this concert.

Tyrannis: He knows my name.

Stavros: As you may know,
I am a blind man.

It is part of why I am so close
to the spirit of sound.

Tyrannis: That's a Stavros Fact.
He's telling us a Stavros Fact.

Stavros: I must use my platform
as a traveling lute player

and ally to tree nymphs
everywhere for good.

Tyrannis: And is he
doing a moral?

I love it when he does a moral.

Stavros: When you have
a position of power,

when you are a public figure
such as myself,

you must use it to condemn
violence and stand for peace.

Athena: Public figure?
He's not that popular.

Stavros: All this conflict...
brother versus brother,

Athena Boys and Krapopolis...

Athena: Play songs!

Tyrannis: Do you not
like the moral?

Condemning violence doesn't seem

like it should be
too much of a problem.

Stavros: What do you say,
King Tyrannis?

Surely any fan of mine will not
stand with the Athena Boys.

Man: I don't like that.

Tyrannis: Now hold on.

I'm not standing
with the Athena Boys.

I'm just standing here
with Athena.

Man: That's half the name!

Tyrannis: OK.
I get how it's a problem.

All right. Well, this
isn't that complicated.

Violence is wrong,

but the Athena Boys
aren't calling for violence.

Stavros: They demand
the m*rder or enslavement

of all who deny
the supremacy of Athena.

Tyrannis: They do?

Is that what
they've been asking for?

Athena: I don't know. Maybe.

It's hard for me to keep track
of these things.

Man: It was painted
on the manifesto vase.

Woman: Stavros is blind,
and he knew that.

Tyrannis: Well, that's bad.

I don't believe in that,
but if I had to say,

you gotta believe in you.

Men: You gotta believe in you!

Athena: Ohh.
Did they come up with that?

You know what? Yeah.

That may have been
the Athena Boys' rallying cry,

not a Stavros lyric.

Sorry, man.

Stavros: ♪ If peace fell down
in the forest ♪

♪ And no one was around
to hear ♪

♪ It would sound like love

Tyrannis: Athena?

[People shouting]

Tyrannis: Right.

Excuse me. Pardon me.

Just trying to get
over to the...

Stupendous:
Ty, little help here? Arrgh...

Tyrannis: Nngh... uh!

Stupendous: Agh! That guy
was surprisingly strong.

Tyrannis: Don't you like w*r?
Isn't this fun for you?

Stupendous: This isn't w*r, Ty.

It's defense
against radical lunatics,

lunatics you called into action

after declaring your friendship
with their goddess.

Tyrannis: Just because
we hung out a few times

doesn't mean I agree
with everything she's done.

Stupendous:
God, you're pathetic.

Tyrannis: All right.

Maybe my inaction has made
the situation slightly worse,

but it's not like
every friendship

has to say some big thing
about who we are.

Stupendous: Duck! Hwah!

Tyrannis: I mean, Athena and I
connected in a whole other way

about a whole other thing.

What good is civilization
if you can't appreciate

the higher things with friends?

Being able to connect with
someone about Stavros was...

Stupendous: Duck.
Tyrannis: Aah.

Stupendous: No, Ty.

"Duck, so small
treading on the water.

Your ripples deep can be seen."

Tyrannis: "Even causing change
you didn't mean."

Yeah. You're right.

I'll find Athena
and deal with this.

Wait. You listen to Stavros?

Stupendous:
Some of his stuff is OK,

but if you bring it up,
I'm denying it

and punching you in the head!

Tyrannis: Yeesh.
All right. Sold.

♪

Ant: It's my sworn duty
to produce

more workers for the colony,

but I wouldn't mind taking
a little time with it

because I know I'm dying
right after.

Deliria: Mm, no.

Shlub: There you are.

I'm a little winded,
but I'm ready to hear you out.

Deliria: I don't want
to explain myself.

I just want to go home
and be alone.

All: The queen
cannot leave the colony.

Deliria: Oh, please.
Think for yourself for once.

Between the lot of you,
you must have

at least one tiny, little brain.

♪

Ants: The queen
must return the crown.

Shlub: How about
making us big again?

Deliria: I can't make one of us
big before the other,

or we'll both be crushed.

I wasn't planning
on someone else being here.

Ants: The queen
cannot leave the colony.

Shlub: Huh!

Ants: Hail the queen.
Hail the queen.

Hail the queen. Hail the queen.

Shlub: That'll do.

Ants: Hail the queen.
Hail the queen.

Shlub: How much further
do we have to run?

Deliria: I think we're
far enough apart now.

If not, it'll serve you right.

Disappointed wife
and bad listener husband exit.

Shlub: Maybe we can try again,

make you queen
of another species.

Deliria: That's not the point.

Shlub: I'm sensing you're angry.
Can't we talk about it?

Deliria: Ohh, I don't even know
how to say this.

Sometimes I just want
to be away from you.

There are parts of me I've
never really let anyone see,

and, honestly,
I like it that way.

It keeps things
more interesting.

Shlub: And you thought
I'd judge you?

I've heard you fart.

Deliria: Gods don't fart.

Shlub: Sure.

How about I leave you alone, and
you can go and check on Dolores?

Deliria: Honestly, I visit
a new colony every time.

A few days is like 40 years
with those b*tches.

[People shouting]

♪

Stavros: [Whimpers]

Tyrannis: Stavros,
there you are.

Stavros: I felt their eyes on me
with desire to k*ll.

Tyrannis: Thank God they didn't.

Stavros: They knew
my wife's name.

Tyrannis: I didn't even know
you had a wife.

Stavros: I don't tell them

so the tree nymphs
can believe we will wed.

Athena: Oh, Ty, there you are.

Should I take us all
somewhere safe, finish the show?

Stavros: Oh, no, no. No, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Stupendous: Raagh!

Tyrannis: I'm sorry. I can't.

I actually don't know
if we can be friends.

Athena: Seriously? I put on
a whole concert for you.

You're the one who got all weird
about being seen with me

when your citizens
started noticing.

Tyrannis: Well, maybe
that's because of, you know,

the cult you incited
that's terrorizing the city.

Athena: I really don't see
what that has to do with us.

Can't we just chill?

Tyrannis: Stavros says, "When
the dolphin showed integrity,

its shriek was loud as fire."

I'm the dolphin.

Athena: Oh, come on, Ty.
We're above this. Let it go.

Tyrannis:
That's the thing, though.

I'm not. I'm mortal.

I can't just make all this
go away with a poof.

Athena: Is that
what this is about?

You really just needed a favor?
Fine.

♪

[Men screaming]

Tyrannis: Oh, my God,
did you just k*ll them?

Athena: I don't know. They went
somewhere or disintegrated.

Isn't that what you wanted?

Tyrannis: You don't know
if you k*lled those people?

Athena: No. You're right.
We can't be friends.

You're so obsessed with your
city, it's kind of irritating.

Tyrannis: Yeah. Well, someone
has to be responsible.

It's my job.

Athena: Well, we'll
always have Stavros.

Tyrannis: I think this has
sort of ruined that for me, too.

Athena: Whatever.

I'll probably just
imprison him in a tower,

turn him into
an annoying bird or something.

Tyrannis: When I hear it,
I'll think of you,

"its shriek as loud as fire."

Stavros: Proud.

I said the dolphin's shriek
was "proud as fire."

You misheard.

Tyrannis: Really?
That's kind of dumb.

Athena: Yeah.
What does that even mean?

Stavros: The trees get it.

Athena: [Hoots]

Stavros: Hwah!

Tyrannis: Seriously?
Oh, come on.

Prospector: Stavros was
at the height of his talent

and only soaring higher.

He was suddenly playing
for crowds of thousands,

but he was an artist
of his time.

Once people started memorizing
songs, singing them back,

let's just say the lyrics,
they didn't really hold up.

New guys came in.

They were more popular,

cooler with the kids,

so little of his stuff
even survived.

Once he stopped playing
that night in Krapopolis,

it was like he disappeared,
and no one's seen him since,

but that's not why I'm here.

I just wanted to pop in
and make sure you all knew

in case anybody was wondering
whether I could climb

through TV screens
and out of your phone

like that gal
from that Japanese picture,

better believe I can and will
now that I've seen you.

Ha ha ha!

Oh, and mirrors, too.

Dan Harmon:
Did you get any of that?

Voice: Bento.