01x02 - María

[bunniefuu]

Nothing, dude.

This f*cking sucks.

I threw my cell phone away

four months ago.

It's just an expensive, useless sh*t.

It has to start working again

at some point.

What for?

The important thing

is that we're alive, right?

Only half-alive without a cell phone.

It's crazy, you know?

That thing.

That was going to hit us.

It's practically impossible.

They say getting f*cked by an alien

is more likely.

That sh*t's crazy.

It was going to hit us, but instead,

it just passed us by. What was that?

Maybe we disgust it.

It saw us from above and said

"What a drag. I'll pass."

Well, it's still watching us.

Hopefully it'll change its mind.

How are things at home?

STOCK MARKET CRASH

Seven days after the impact was announced,

global stocks continue to plummet.

The apocalypse will be the end of money.

Nothing has any value now,

except one thing.

Drugs.

Dope.

Drugs.

Guys, now's the time to invest.

DRUGS PRICE INCREASES BY 500%

Dope.

FORMER SMOKERS START SMOKING AGAIN

Man, one gram is expensive!

-Guys

-Now's the time

-Invest.

-to try heroin.

Bartering is back.

-It's back.

-Try heroin.

TRADE 1L OLIVE OIL

FOR 1G HASHISH

Five kilos of oranges and a jet ski.

Bartering.

For this sh*t!

Drugs.

Dope.

Drugs.

Capitalism, arrivederci.

Drugs.

Us? We don't drink alcohol.

DRUG CONSUMPTION UP 500%

Look, look!

Meth, mescaline, ketamine, cocaine.

Now's the time

MDMA, peyote, ayahuasca, hashish,

fentanyl, LSD, acid, pink cocaine

Dope.

But alcohol

THE WORLD IS GOING TO END

No.

DRUGS FOR SALE

ANYWAY

FORMENTERA ISLAND

Can I help?

The tooth thingy's mine.

I bought it.

You bought it for me, Tomás.

Well, if you don't want me to take it,

there's only one way to

No, you're not staying here.

Please, Julia, this isn't like you.

Don't tell me what I'm like. Just go.

Where?

Is that what you want?

Okay.

Fine.

That's not how you use it.

Julia.

Where's my Betis jersey?

The Alfonso Pérez Muñoz one.

Well, just so you know,

I'm not leaving until I find it.

It's signed, man.

That jersey is worth a lot.

What are you doing?

Where is it?

If the jersey doesn't show up,

I'm not leaving.

It's mine, the Betis one. Damn it.

What does it say?

It's a trap.

Where are you going?

You don't know if it's from your mom.

I'm sure.

If you're being coerced, tell me.

Give me a sign.

Tomás, go home

and finish packing your bags.

I love you.

I love you both.

Are you kidding me?

Look.

Remember when you put my green sweater

in the washing machine?

-It shrunk.

-What are you saying?

You almost threw it away,

but I stretched it and stretched it,

until it finally fit.

It looks terrible on you.

That's what I'm talking about,

second chances.

You never wear it.

Give me a break, Noa.

It's a little scratchy, but useful.

I'm the same.

A little scratchy, but useful.

-You can't just throw me away

-Tomás!

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry about all of this, really.

I need you.

I see.

Well, we don't need you.

Come on, Noa.

What have you done to your hair?

Where's Dad?

Have some, honey. You're too skinny.

How did it happen?

How did what happen, honey?

Well A heart attack.

Poor thing. He survived the meteorite

just to kick the bucket lying in bed.

What a bummer.

The world could end at any moment.

So what do we do now?

Let's call a funeral home.

Although, with all this mess,

I don't know if funeral homes will be

Don't worry.

You don't need to do anything.

I just wanted you to know

so you can say goodbye.

If we were able

to get through the apocalypse without you,

we definitely don't need you now.

Seriously, Mom? Next to Lola?

Who?

A tortoise she had as a child.

Dad wanted to be buried in San Amaro.

He always said so.

Get him out.

Your father's hometown is far away

and the hole is right here.

Bury him.

No.

Julia, it's too dangerous.

The world now is no place

for someone like you.

Someone like me.

Come on.

Damn it.

Dad.

I'm gonna get you out.

NO COVERAGE

Forget it.

So you smoke now?

You saw how it ended for your dad.

I plan to enjoy every second I've got left

until my end of the world comes.

Grandma's right.

I don't know what the big deal is

if I smoke.

Noa, please shut up.

She's taking too long, isn't she?

Yusarmy knows what she's doing.

Where did you find her?

She showed up at the house one day,

asking for work,

shortly after your mom left us

the way she did.

She's been taking care of us

all this time.

Not a big talker, but she's a good kid.

That Toyota Corolla is a bit

She's got attitude.

-Seriously?

-Seriously.

You too, Grandma, with your fiery hair.

What about you, honey?

Got yourself a boyfriend?

No.

Girlfriend?

Well.

Take your time.

I hope you choose better

than your grandma and mom did.

By the way, where is he?

I thought he'd come,

if only to show his face.

He stayed at home to

fix the generator that broke down.

But we're fine. Totally fine. Great.

Better than ever.

I think the apocalypse

really brought us closer together.

Damn. Look at that.

What are you doing?

I don't know how they do things

where you're from,

but that's my dad in there.

He's not just some spare tire.

Got it?

You've always been a daddy's girl,

that's for sure.

What a pain.

All girls are daddy's girls.

Even if their dads are assholes?

Even more so.

The mother's personality

also plays a part.

And the daughter's.

My Julia here didn't make it easy for me.

If you'd let me do my own thing,

it would've gone better.

Hypocrite.

It's not the same, Noa.

And you stay out of this.

It's grown-up talk, all right?

Being a mother is a pain in the a*s.

Your old lady trusts you. Okay, my boy?

Hey, easy now. Stay calm.

Stay calm and keep a cool head.

Okay, honey? You got this.

All you have to do is pretend you're hurt,

and when they get close, you

I stab them on the side.

Very good.

Don't be a p*ssy now.

Whoever it is, a girl, a guy,

an old man I don't care.

-Okay, Mom.

-Anyone. That's my boy.

I love you.

You're a big man already, ba*ls and all!

Go on. Go get 'em. Let's go.

Relax, just wait.

Mom, I don't feel good.

Stop, you son of b*tch.

Stop!

My baby! My baby!

Are you crazy? Stop the car!

I've already told you, Julia.

The world is a dangerous place.

If you want to bury your father,

get used to it.

Take a number and get in line.

Otherwise, this will be a mess,

ladies and gentlemen.

Sixty-three!

Me, me.

What have you got, José María?

My boy made it for me for Father's Day.

-How about a bag and a half?

-Great.

Wait a minute.

Don't f*ck with me, Mantecao.

You gave me less than that for a huge TV.

It was stolen.

This is made with love.

Priceless memories, right?

Yes.

Are you telling me a TV

is worth more than a son's love?

-No, but the TV was 8K.

-It was a piece of sh*t.

Cooperative policy.

That's how bartering works.

If you don't like it, go tell The Farmer,

or you can smoke rosemary.

Number 64!

Hey, you with the curly hair.

Who's in charge around here?

A guy they call The Farmer. He's inside.

Yusarmy, if you don't mind.

No, I'll go.

-I don't think that's a good idea, honey.

-I said I'll go.

Number 66!

Excuse me.

Can I get through?

-Hey, come on.

-Just coming through.

-Just a moment, please.

-Cutting in line too?

I'm not cutting in line.

I just want to talk to the gentleman.

It won't take a minute.

-Excuse me.

-There is a line.

it's hand-painted and

Excuse me.

Ma'am, please get in line.

No, no. I'm not here for

whatever it is you're doing here.

I'm here to bury my father.

I'm sorry, but you're in the wrong place.

What do you mean? This is a cemetery.

Maybe, but we don't bury people here.

Number 67!

You don't know who I am

you clown.

What did you say?

You heard me.

Clown.

So open that gate. Now.

-Sorry, but it's my turn.

-That's too bad, b*tch.

Who do you think I am, a p*ssy?

I'm really crazy.

I can see that.

So let me burry my dad

or you'll have to deal with me

Yeah, I know.

Clown.

Look, ma'am.

What you thought we did here,

we don't do

Easy, easy.

I want to talk to your boss.

Look,

this is a cooperative.

An enterprise, jointly owned

and democratically managed.

There are no bosses here.

But if you insist,

I'll take you to The Farmer.

Come on, let's go.

Wait. What about the rest of us?

He's a tough man, but he's fair.

To me, he's a visionary. He came up

with the idea when the world went to sh*t.

He said, "Look, let's use this land,

"which is protected by walls

and has a nutrient-rich soil,

"to grow something that makes things

a little more bearable for everyone."

What thing?

Farmer, these ladies want to talk to you.

Hello.

Mr. Narco.

Sorry, it's just that

we wanted to bury my father here.

We have a family niche

where my grandparents are, and

So, either you help us or

or you're going to have problems.

So, that's it really.

And what do we get in return?

We have a car.

No, Julia. You haven't got sh*t.

Mom, I'm trying to negotiate

with these gentlemen.

You got us into this mess just to bring

your as*h*le of a father here.

-I'm not walking home.

-Stop being so selfish.

You're the selfish one. You've let others

solve your problems your whole life.

That's over now.

If you want to bury him,

you're on your own.

I'm not giving up the car.

I won't do anything else

for that old b*stard.

He doesn't deserve it.

And you know it.

You know I'm right, Julia María.

-Mom

-The lady.

What?

-Let's go.

-What?

Is she still unconscious?

My God.

This racket

This is Rafa Nadal's. I can't believe it.

You're kidding me!

Conan's sword!

This is the best day of my life.

Why did you lie to Grandma about Dad?

Now's not the time.

You two had a fight because of him, right?

Right.

I get it. It sucks

having to admit Grandma was right.

Noa, I know I've made a lot of mistakes

and you've had to pay the price.

But that's over now.

Really.

That's over.

-Hey, kid.

-Mom, no

Kid!

Hey, why don't you come over here

and loosen these up a little?

Sorry, ma'am, but I can't.

I can't. It's my first day

and I need this job.

It's just that

It's just that my daughter

Her name's Noa.

Cute, isn't she?

It's hurting her a little.

If you just loosened it

-If you're a gentlemen, maybe she'll

-Mom, Mom

Right, sorry. Okay.

But seriously. Look

This is a little embarrassing,

but with the nerves, and the gluten

Well, I feel a bit sick,

and I need to go to the bathroom.

There's no bathroom here, ma'am.

Right. But I have to

You know?

The bathroom is out there in the field.

Well, wherever, but I have to go.

Now. Right now. Please

Can you loosen this up

for just a moment, please?

I need my hands

to pull down my pants or

Do you want to do it for me?

Over there.

Be quick, please.

Turn around at least.

Do something.

Everything okay?

Yes.

Hey, ma'am, how much longer?

-Put pressure on it!

-Why did you do that?

Sit down.

Sit down.

Mom, what are you doing?

Can't you see he's bleeding to death?

I can't just leave him here like that.

You're the one who did this!

Hey, I already apologized!

It's not like you're a saint.

You had us tied up.

I just do what I'm told.

Now I'm going to have to tie you up, okay?

Right, I'm going to tie

Well, let's tie this one

Oh, my God.

Don't worry,

I'm not gonna tighten it up too much.

There we go, all done.

-Let's go. Let's find Grandma.

-Mom, what the f*ck?

-Let's go find

-What do we do with her?

-Don't leave me here.

-f*ck.

What are you doing? Are you crazy?

I'm waking her up. What should I do?

Give her a kiss and see if she comes to?

She's not waking up.

Maybe she's not as tough as she seems.

f*ck.

She may be intimidating,

but our little princess here was asleep

while I took care of everything.

One, two, three.

That must be where they have Grandma.

There's no way to get there

without being seen.

Well, there was no way

we could escape before and look at us now.

Let your mom think.

Let's wait until nightfall.

Less visibility, fewer people.

We could create a distraction.

We could start a fire.

Yes, let's start a fire

and when people get distracted,

we turn around and

Where's Yusarmy?

No, no, no!

The worse you treat it,

the better the results.

It's like that, just like with a mule.

You can't drive a mule

by giving it kisses on its back.

That's impossible.

Plants need to be mistreated and abused.

If you grab the stem

If you make a little cut on the stem

with a knife

and you insert a wooden wedge

so that the stem opens up,

you'll get such a body high from it

that you'll be staring into space.

Add to that the nutrients

from all the corpses buried out there,

all the decomposing bodies.

Then the plant gets a better nourishment

and gives you far better results.

Welcome, ladies.

Sorry about earlier.

I had to make sure you can be trusted.

These are strange times, you know.

Well, you came right on time.

Julia, The Farmer

María, please, call me José Ramón.

José Ramón is going to let us

bury your father here.

It's the least I can do.

My God, this béchamel is incredible.

Delicious.

Kid, go get three bags for the lady.

She's earned them.

Do you know how long it's been

since I ate a real croquette?

A croquette as God intended.

A proper, homemade croquette.

A croquette

Now that I've got it all,

there's just one thing missing.

Kid! Bring me the mirrors.

With all this mess,

I've lost every photo I had of her.

Nothing more precious than a mother.

She was so g*dd*mn beautiful.

You okay there, honey?

You miss your dad, don't you?

Of course, fathers are important too.

Where do you want to bury him?

Really, I feel bad.

We thought about it

and it's better this way.

But it's just a wasteland.

Grandpa liked to be alone.

He liked peace and quiet.

-Right?

-Yes.

He was a piece of sh*t.

A wasteland would suit him just fine.

It's no bother.

Whatever you need, you know where we are.

-I'll see you out

-No.

We know the way out.

Don't look at the bodies,

just keep going, honey.

What an amazing woman.

The brunette's a little dull,

but all four of them are fabulous.

All right, then. Anyone up for Twister?

Wait a minute.

That poor girl is suffering.

Her dad's dead. She needs

these croquettes more than we do.

Hey, hey.

What's all this?

God f*cking damn it!

Get over here.

Where do you think you're going?

Juan!

Drive!

Juan, wake up!

I've got a tumor.

What?

Don't worry, it's benign.

I got the envelope with the results

the day they announced the apocalypse.

I didn't dare to open it.

Until last night.

Benign.

Why didn't you tell us before?

What for?

We were all going to die anyway.

I didn't want you to worry,

or cause more suffering.

Mom.

Tomás left me.

He left both of us, months ago.

I knew it. What a son of a b*tch.

That's why I didn't go to see you.

I was ashamed.

I've been pretending

everything was fine all this time

so Noa wouldn't realize what a mess I was.

But that didn't really

work out for me either.

The only thing I'm good at is failing.

As a mother,

as a daughter,

as a wife,

as a gymnast.

But you only took

gymnastics classes for three weeks.

Well, that was long enough.

I'm so good at failing that

I'm a failure before I've even failed.

That's a load of bullshit, Mom.

How can you be a bad mother

when you've spent

this entire bogus apocalypse

pretending you're okay?

Not to mention the tumor.

Exactly, with a tumor and all.

If you hadn't been so strong, you would've

gone crazy like everyone else.

But no, not you.

You sacrificed yourself for me.

Just like you did today

with that fake poop.

They had a shotgun to your head,

but you put yourself on the line

to save me and Grandma.

A loser wouldn't do that, sweetheart.

Best of all was when Dad came home

yesterday and you told him to go to hell.

And that, Mom, you did for yourself.

That's something to be proud of.

I didn't have your courage.

You seem very brave to me.

And gymnastics is very demanding.

Don't worry.

Mom.

Are you sure Dad died of a heart attack?

I'M SORRY