01x02 - The Chicken

[bunniefuu]

RYAN: Welcome to South

A-f*ck-merica, dickhead!

KAI: This is a stag

do, yeah? Anthony?

And I have a wife and kids at

home these days, isn't I, mate?

We're not 16

anymore, are we, Kai?

- What's up with Greg?

- I think I need to sh*t.

[speaking Spanish]

Cocaine?

Man:El Puerco n*gro operates

according to an ecosystem

all of its own.

Phone: Everything

here costs money.

Borrow Selma's money.

Why has he got you in

a bath filled with ice?

So he could harvest my organs!

[screaming]

SELMA: Your friend Greg

is not a millionaire.

It's an expensive thing to

purchase emergency surgery

when you're outside prison.

But it is an incredibly

expensive thing

to purchase while in prison.

[speaking Spanish]

[g*nsh*t]

So, who's getting

in the f*cking bath?

[chickens clucking]

[old acoustic guitar music]

Well, C, is the

way you begin ♪

H, the next letter in ♪

I am the third ♪

C, for to season your bird ♪

K is the fillin' in ♪

E, I'm near the end ♪

C H I C K E N ♪

That's the way

to spell chicken ♪

[sombre music]

f*ck.

[squishing]

Come on.Andale.

That's both kidneys now

from your esteemed friend.

Who's gonna give me the third?

Either someone gets in the bath,

or I'll start sh**ting

again and pick for you.

[speaking Spanish]

[Gomez speaking Spanish]

John: Like the old days, lads.

Come on.

Shortest stick loses

like when we used

to choose a goalie.

What are we gonna tell Ruby?

Jesus Christ. His f*cking kids.

- [squishes]

- [whimpering]

[shouting in Spanish]

You, go help your friend pick

up your other dead guy friend.

The f*ck is wrong with you, Kai?

Those bits belong inside Ant.

Leave him alone. He'll

be in shock. He's just

You've known him your

whole f*cking life,

you g*dd*mn b*stard!

Okay, pussies, who's got

that next kidney for me?

Stu: Oh, no, John.

[speaking Spanish]

Okay, no. Not him. We

don't want the old guy.

Pick again.

Hugo.

I-I I'm so sorry, mate.

If I do this, yeah, then

I want compensation.

Yeah yeah, yeah, of course.

What the f*ck do you

think that looks like?

Oh, take issue

with that, do you?

You about to jump

in the f*cking bath?

Hey!

Time's up. Let's go.

You guys take on any

share of my debt, okay?

- Okay?

- Uh-huh.

And I want guaranteed bed rest.

[exhales sharply]

Oh, putain! Putain! f*ck!

I don't know if I can Oh!

I don't know if I can f*ck!

Hang about, Hugo.

I think it's me.

[clears throat]

See, mine's mine's

mine's the shortest.

- Son

- I got the shortest one.

What the f*ck are

you playing at?

Don't you dare get

in that bath, Kai.

- What fun.

- You hear me?

Wow!

[laughter]

Oh!

Now, that is in low supply.

This is unprecedented.

Don't you dare get in

that bath, do you hear me?

Kai? Get out of that f*cking

bath, do you hear me?

Get out of the

f*cking bath! Get out!

- [g*n c*ck]

- Let me go, Dad.

[whimpering] No, no, no.

Branco: For

interrupting, you'll die,

and I'll feed your

old meat to my dogs.

[speaking Spanish]

[whispering in Spanish]

[speaking Spanish]

[whistles]

I'd sooner k*ll you pussies

than return to this sh*thole.

Stay beneath my attention

from this day on,

or your heads go up on my wall.

You, my friend.

Bravo! Remarkable team player.

One very special little monkey.

So you keep your kidneys.

The rest of you, maybe not.

Hey, wait, wait. Where

the hell they taking him?

[speaking Spanish]

Take him to the men on the roof.

If we have enough money

for a decent burial,

we'll find what's we'll

find what's left of him there.

Men on the roof. What is that?

They're the, uh,

undertakers, sort of.

Clem, are you doing all right?

Not really, Hugo.

Not really doing all right, no.

First I had to operate

on Greg and now this.

Has anyone got the first idea

what the f*ck is going on here?

[shouting in Spanish]

John: Get your hands off her!

Kai: Where are they taking her?

I can't believe Ant's just gone.

I f*cking watched him grow

up, for Christ's sake.

He was a lovely lad.

Who gives a sh*t

about lovely lad?

They just shot him in the head!

That psycho seems to run the

prison, and we are in it.

Still alive. So how do

we get out of here, huh?

Talk about that.

Ey, ey, ey, ey!

No, no, no, no, no!

He's got half a f*cking head!

How do we stop that from

happening to us, huh?

Hugo, f*cking once in your

life, shut your mouth!

Ey! Boys!

What we need now is rest. Yes?

We need to try and shut

our eyes and get some

Ant's voice:I have a

wife and kids at home,

these days, isn't I, mate?

Put that someplace safe, Kai.

That ring's all we

have left of Ant now.

We need to try and get

this day behind us.

I'm sorry, Ryan, Stu.

I'm sorry it made you angry

when I did what he told me.

I just Well

I loved him, too, you know?

You know I You know I did.

Oh!

[crickets chirping]

[speaking Spanish]

Stu.

Stu.

Outside.

Come. Come.

I think maybe there's more

than just Greg in on it.

What's that? I can't hear you.

I think maybe there's more

than just Greg in on it.

Jesus. What, seriously? Who?

I don't know. But that fax.

It doesn't make sense,

does it? For him, see?

He said that we

was all in on it.

Yeah, if it was, why would

they arrest all of us?

Now they're talking

about a hundred years.

Yeah? Unless they set it up.

So that means that Greg

definitely had help.

[sobbing]

I can't believe it either, mate.

- [chicken clucking]

- [pulley creaking]

Can't sleep. I've just been

replaying it and replaying it.

I can't I can't do this.

I-I literally can't think.

[panting]

You just tell me who you

think's responsible, mate.

I swear I will go in there,

and I will pull them apart.

You know, if any of

them had half a brain,

they'd be pointing

the finger at me.

You can be a sh*t, yeah,

but you're not this.

You're not a f*cking monster!

So, what are we

gonna do then, mate?

We should talk to f*cking Greg.

Right? Get the

truth out of him.

Me and you together.

Us two? We need to

stick together, mate.

Old times, mate.

[rooster crows]

Dad!

- Dad!

- Huh?

[inhales] What is it, Son?

Ryan and Stu, they're gone.

And they've taken Ant's ring.

They're gone.

With the only thing we

had worth having, so

- That's a little funny, no?

- Could be an explanation.

A good one.

Donde esta Greg?

[metal slams]

- [pants unzips]

- [urinating]

[speaking Spanish]

[g*n c*ck]

No.

[speaking Spanish]

[water babbling]

[grunts]

[speaking Spanish]

[door opens]

You did so well, Clementine.

The doctor was quite happy.

Does that mean I can leave?

[laughter] No.

[clears throat]

Also, no more working

around my brother.

His toys never did

survive very long.

You'll be safer with me.

You are the kind of woman

I can get along with.

[knocking]

[speaking Spanish]

You should run along now, Clem.

Ryan: Clem? Clem?

Are you all right?

Is this where

they're keeping you?

Why are you two

What's going on?

We're here for Greg.

Or the b*stard's

answers, more like.

Can you tell me what the

f*ck's going on, please, Stu?

Can you tell me why I

got shipped here alone,

straight into the care

of some cracked b*tch

who's making me carve

actual people up?

A minute ago I was

on holiday, Stu.

What even happened to him?

What the f*ck is going on, Stu?

We wanna ask him the same thing.

Let's see if he's woke up.

He's just through there.

Can I trust you both to keep

it together when you see him?

Of course. Of course!

Ryan, do you understand?

You need to stay cool.

There are people with g*ns here.

Ant's dead! He's f*cking

dead, alright? f*cking dead!

Stu!

What do you mean he's dead?

- He's f*cking dead!

- What, like, dead dead?

f*ck.

f*ck! The Ant Man's dead.

Nobody called him

that, you f*cking scum.

I called him that. It

was our little in joke.

Alright! What happened?

A psychopath turned up and

blew his f*cking face off,

about 18 inches from

where we were all stood.

A psychopath who happens

to be the brother

of the woman who

owns this place.

Owns the bed you're laid in.

[panting] f*ck. We need

to get out of here.

Who's f*cking we, bruv?

Who's f*cking "we"?

200k she wants!

Two hundred f*cking

thousand pounds!

For your medical

bill! Our asses!

Do you have that f*cking money?

f*ck! I'll get it!

- f*ck.

- Stu, come on, mate.

I'll sort this out. You

know me. We go way back.

No, no. We've known Ant since

we were nine years old, mate.

Nine years old.

Why the hell were

we all arrested?

Who's in on it with you?

Alright, man, chill

out. I'm sorry, okay?

Look, I can make

all of this go away.

- I promise!

- Bollocks!

- Ryan, hit him.

- Okay, okay.

- Don't.

- Tell us how.

[grunts]

The drugs I was carrying

obviously weren't

for me, were they?

They weren't mine!

The people I work for,

they have connections.

Here and all over the region.

Which means I've

got connections.

Some people even call me

Papi Chulo around here.

- f*ck off!

- Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!

Keep f*cking Hagrid

away from me!

Ryan.

It's okay. It's okay.

Alright. Listen. f*ck

this. You lot need me.

I'm sorry, but you do. Alright?

And, Hagrid, if

anything happens to me,

that's 200k down the toilet.

We need to move.

The quicker we move,

the better. Alright.

Look, all I need is a phone.

One that I can make calls

on and receive calls on.

Get me a phone and I

can get us out of here.

[sighs]

[groans]

You're alright.

You're alright.

So, we need a burial

plot and a phone.

I-I'm thinkin', right.

We try for a two for one.

- Tell him! Tell him!

- Ryan, enough!

Take the grapes, psycho.

[groans] Can you tell the

nurse I need more grapes now?

- f*ck off, Greg.

- It's for my recovery.

Hugo: Who even is Greg?

I mean, seriously, you

don't know him from home.

Me and Clem don't

know him from uni.

So, who the f*ck is he?

Stu said he knew him from work.

Is something not right there?

You know, I've been

wondering something

along those lines meself.

Jesus Christ! Almond butter!

She's got almond butter!

Kai, Kai, go. It's

your time to shine.

Figure out how much she charges.

[speaking Spanish]

He's good at this,

isn't he? Kai.

Where's your

enchanted donkey now?

[speaking Spanish]

Alright. She's not

giving it away,

but she says her dad

does grocery drop-offs.

Bundles, feed a family

for a week kind of thing.

Food is what I'm saying.

Okay, how much is food?

Oh, well she kept

changing the figure.

But I think

probably a hundred.

- A hundred?

- Oh,ça va.

I'm good for a hundred. I

leave bigger tips than that.

Ooh, I'll be back.

Hey! Remember me? Huh?

Phone voice: Hello

again, little b*tch.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah. Little b*tch.

Okay, whatever. That's me.

Hey. I'll take that

money now, huh?

Hey, Kai! What's

Spanish for hundred?

- Uh,cien!

- Cien.

Cien dolares, por favor.

Huh? Little amigo?

Phone:No can do. Cheap.

You guys owe Selma 200k.

Ha ha ha.

I heard you needed

surgery or something.

Was it for your sick friend

or was it for your

vaginoplasty operation?

I hope it was a big success.

sh*t. sh*t!

No one will be lending

any of you a dollar

till Selma gets paid.

Okay. Okay, yes,

yes. Okay.Merci.

We can't borrow any

money because of our

Greg's insane debt to that lady.

What the f*ck!

So tell me this.

If we've got no money,

and we don't seem

to be getting any,

how the hell are

we supposed to eat?

Chicken.

[chickens clucking]

[speaking Spanish]

[whistle blows]

[speaking Spanish]

[upbeat music]

[chattering in Spanish]

[panting]

[shouting in Spanish]

[alarm bell ringing]

[speaking Spanish]

- Hey, wait, wait, wait.

- Let's do it.

- You've got the ring, yeah?

- Yeah.

Ask him if he wants any work

done in exchange for food.

I'm strong, huh? Hey,

tell him I'm strong.

[speaking Spanish]

[speaking Spanish]

[laughing]

He says he's got three

adult sons in here with him

who are twice the size of us,

so if he needs any work

done, he would just ask them.

Bollocks.

Oh, what does he want then?

There must be a kind

of a quid pro quo.

Quid pro quo?

[speaking Spanish]

- Uh, Dad?

- What, Son?

Well, he's asking if

those designer shoes

you've got on are the real deal.

You know, I don't see many

alternatives if you want to eat.

- We can make some new ones.

- Make some?

Out of what, old

laid-around shite?

They're dead stock!

f*ck. You know,

I seriously don't know

if this is a good deal.

Look, no one's going to

lend us any cash, John.

And a chicken goes a long way.

You've had my eyes out there,

you crafty old b*stard.

Here we go. Looks

like we got a chicken.

[sighs]

Stu: What's taking

so long, then?

[insects buzzing]

Stu, man, can I

ask you something?

Do you reckon it's a

little bit my fault?

As well as as well as Greg's,

'cause I put that stuff in

me trousers at the airport?

Do you reckon that it is?

I don't know, mate.

But you seemed

pretty sure yesterday

that was totally

different, didn't you?

[bell jingles]

The ring. The ring, yeah?

Uh

Uh, please, help us.

Señores, only little

English. Okay?

Uh, we think our friend is here.

We think he was brought here.

Uh, I need

We would like you

to bury our friend.

Sí. Yes. Understood.

We We brought this

as payment for him.

Yeah! Very good.

Is normal. Okay?

Normal? What's

No, no, no. It's

a good ring, mate.

I mean, look. It's

lovely, isn't it?

And I need a phone.

To call England.

A phone, señor? A telephone?

It's a good ring.

It's a nice ring, mate.

[speaking Spanish]

Entendio, señor.

The ring of your

friend. My phone.

Sure.

Well, um Well does it does

it have credits on the phone?

- Dinero on the phone?

- Yes, to call London.

Yes, yes. Some.

Enough.

Many call locales, but London,

call London

One, two time maybe.

Two times. Two times.

[whispering]

Okay. Yeah, okay, deal.

Whoa. But But wait.

Where will you

Where will you bury Ant?

Bury?

Where are you gonna

put our friend?

Plus? As well bury?

No, no, no, no.

Señores, no. One only.

No.

No, Ry. Ry, we need

the phone, mate.

Sorry. One second.

Ryan: I'm not

We can't f*cking

Ry, Ry. You, John, Clem, Hugo,

Kai all came here because of me.

You're all here because of

me. Now, if f*cking Greg

thinks he can get to London,

I have to believe him,

do you understand?

Señores, please!

Stu: This is your way to

make good for what you did.

Go on, Stu. Do it.

Do it.

[phone beeps]

[gasps]

f*ck sake, Greg!

Woman: Want to

leave a message?

Sorry. Um, do you

know where she is?

Well, you should open the door.

Then we can get to

know each other better.

Usually I know where Selma is.

- [door creaks]

- But today

no, I don't.

Don't really get

about like I used to.

- What did you do?

- [chuckles]

Bet you're thinking

about getting out.

I can help you escape.

No, I don't think so.

What? Why not?

Why?

Because you're a woman in a

f*cking cage and I want to live.

If you think you can

trust her, you can't.

Because Wait.

Donde esta Selma?

There's things you can do

with a chicken over a fire.

Sear it, fry it, boil it,

make the bones into a soup.

Right, shut the f*ck

up, please, Son.

Thanks.

I've eaten chicken.

[knocking]

- [chicken clucks]

- John:Donde esta Greg?

Alright. Kai, you

take the chicken home.

Make sure it can't get out.

[chicken clucks]

- Come on.

- [knocking]

Greg. We want stupid Greg.

Um

Try again, but say por favor.

- [rustling]

- There he is.

Don't be stupid, Greg!

[panting]

Where did he go?

[insects buzzing]

Stu: I'm sorry, Ant.

[speaking Spanish]

Uh, what, monstro?

Monstro, as in monster.

Did he say monster?

What are you saying?

You have no money, so we will

dispose of the corpse our way.

[speaking Spanish]

Justo:

Man: Oh,mi amor.

f*ck, it's barely even working.

They're here. They're

here. They're here.

Let's just get there. Yeah?

Get to the prick's bed,

give him the f*cking phone,

and just know

Right, okay, but

if you go in there,

all g*ns blazing, tell them

we've given Greg a phone,

they might think we're in on it.

Yeah, right, yeah. [sniffs]

- Right?

- Yeah.

We've got this. Come on.

Oi! Ryan! Did you see him?

He's gone. He's f*cking gone!

And you! Where's the ring?

- Alright. Hugo.

- Where's the f*cking ring?

- Hugo!

- No, John.

- Where the f*ck did you

- Just calm down!

And where the f*ck is Stu?

We, uh, took the

ring to the roof,

swapped it for a

burial plot for him

so that his family

could find him.

Oh. That actually

That actually sounds like

the right thing to do.

Did you manage

it? To bury him?

Yeah. Yeah, we can't be there

when they do it, because, um,

it's outside of prison

grounds, the graveyard.

Well, um Well, where

the f*ck is Stu, huh?

Took off. I just, uh I

don't know. I hit the cell.

About Stu

I tell you this, mate. I

don't know any drug smugglers.

Right? And I want to think

the best of Stu in all this,

give him the

benefit of whatever.

You know, he's marrying my

bloody daughter after all.

But I can't help thinking

- The wedding suppliers.

- What?

Tell him about the

wedding suppliers.

Oh, yeah.

Why have I got wedding

suppliers chasing me

for a downpayment on his wedding

if he's got this

big job in comms

that takes him all

round the world?

John, he's

You know, I'm currently

standing shoeless.

In a prison, Ryan.

It's all starting to strike

me as just a little bit mad.

You don't think so?

I don't blame you for thinking

the way that you're thinking.

Right? I understand. But

You don't know Stu

like I know him.

Stu would not have

done this to you.

'Cause it means he would

have done it to me.

And we're not you and

him. We are me and him.

He didn't meet me when

he was off at university

acting like some flash

little twat, did he?

Me and Stu are like

f*cking brothers.

When I look at him, I

don't see what you two see.

I just see a little boy

knocking on my door,

middle of the night, crying,

f*cking pissing his

trousers, right?

So this is Greg. This is all

f*cking Greg and that's it.

Greg's gone, mate.

We saw him run.

- He's gone.

- The f*ck you mean he's gone?

[tense music builds]

Where's the phone?

- You got the phone?

- Yes. Make the call.

Make the call. The others

aren't far off. Let's go.

[beeping]

Hi. Yeah, it's one of

Guppy's guys. Greg.

Yeah, we were due in yesterday,

but we got snagged on the way.

I'm calling from

prison. Puerco n*gro.

- Around 40.

- Man:40?

- 40 keys.

- 40?

Yeah. No, no, no. It was

completely unexpected.

He just One of us got

rushed into the hospital

and then it all came apart.

What do you mean? One One

of, mate? One of us? One of

- Are you f*cking kidding me?

- Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Listen, mate, I think they're

looking to pin this on someone,

money wise.

They're gonna come

after my family, mate.

If I don't get this

right, they're gonna

You haven't got much

family, have you?

It's just just you

and your mum, isn't it?

Stu, listen to me, mate.

I need you to take

the blame for this.

Okay? I'm gonna pin it on you.

Just say that you overpacked

the balloon and it burst.

Are you taking the piss?

Why would I f*cking

agree to do that?

All your friends in here,

in this prison with us,

they all think this

is my f*cking fault

and only my fault.

And I've kept your name

out of this to them so far,

and I'll continue to

keep my mouth shut

if you take this f*cking phone,

and you're gonna tell London

that it was all your fault.

Do you understand?

Do you understand?

[sighs]

I f*cking swear down, Stu.

If you don't, I will tell

your friends the truth.

Hey, this is Stu.

Another of Guppy's

boys. Here with Greg.

Yeah. Go.

Greg f*cked up.

f*ck. What are you

doing? [grunts]

Greg overpacked a balloon.

Stu, you're f*cking dead,

man. You're dead, man.

[grunts]

Yeah, he overpacked a balloon.

It split. Split in his stomach.

OD'd at the airport.

Police arrived. It was

a f*cking nightmare.

[grunting] Ahh!

You f*cking-Ah!

Sorry! Sorry. It's f*cking

There's a lot of fighting going

on in the prison, yeah. [coughs]

- [speaking, indistinct]

- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah.

Listen, listen, we

were always told,

call this number

if you hit trouble.

Yeah, you could bribe the right

person, politician, or whatever,

get us out of here.

Yeah. Yeah, we're just in.

- [speaking, indistinct]

- Yeah, this is the best number.

Should we expect a call?

Well, we we haven't

much call credits, so I

Cool, cool.

- [speaking, indistinct]

- Stu.

- Thank you.

- [line beeping]

[panting]

Greg, I'm I'm sorry

about that, mate, but it

You didn't leave me

much choice there.

When we get back to London

Listen, there was no way

I could throw my own

mum in it like that.

Greg.

[patting back]

Greg.

[door knocking]

Uh Uh, it's occupied!

[knocking]

[knocking]

[man shouting in Spanish]

[splashing]

f*ck! [panting]

[man shouting in Spanish]

[coughs]

[passing gas]

[man groans]

[dog barking]

[both speaking Spanish]

[g*n c*ck]

[chicken clucks]

[pulley squeaking]

[chicken clucking]

Hey! Oi!

[shouting in Spanish]

[chicken clucks]

Don't you assholes owe me 200k?

Was I a bit too cuddly with you?

Did I not correctly convey

that I can cut you

into little lumps?

Obviously we don't have

your money just yet,

but I'm sure with time

we can get our hands on

or work off. We could

probably work

- Oh!

- Jesus!

Holy sh*t!

Where's Greg? Where's sh*t Greg?

She's cut his nose off.

I heard Greg leave.

Good for Greg.

Checked himself out

without even a "thank you."

Bad for Greg.

We We don't

know where Greg is.

- We f*cking hate Greg.

- Yeah.

Yeah, he's the reason

we're f*cking stuck in here

and he's the reason that

your brother's

k*lled Ant.

But we are very,

very grateful

to you.

Yeah, we just got here, yeah?

So we'll work for

you. We'll work

Can any of you losers sing?

Sing?

There's a f*cking

feast day tomorrow.

Can you sing?

Well, I, uh I was considered

a bit of a sort in the

Durham Revue actually.

Sing.

What exactly did you have in

mind when you said you'd like

[g*n c*ck]

[sings a scale in falsetto]

All I need is

somebody to lean on ♪

[vocalizes]

[sings Italian operatically]

Ah. You're here.

But I need you here.

[sings higher]

It's you,pobrecito.

You will be my little canary.

[speaking Spanish]

- [chicken squawks]

- Oi.

Hey.

You must never allow yourself

to be alone with that man

in a toilet.

[music builds]

We were supposed to

have each other's backs.

Since school I've had yours.

Just lie low. If they

find us, we're dead.

Get down!

Woman: If you want

to live, then escape.

Of course I have your back.

- [g*nsh*t]

- Now, where the f*ck is Stu?

- [alarm ringing]

- Mate, what's going on?

[grunts]

f*cking run!

Wait! Don't go there!

- [screaming in distance]

- [g*nshots]