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01x06 - The Monster

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Stags". Aired: 15 August 2024.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


Series follows groom-to-be Stu and his friends on his stag do in South America.

01x06 - The Monster

Post by bunniefuu »

Who the f*ck do you think you are?

This is quite the escaping!

We will not receive you, Mr. Gómez.

You've done this operation before?

Many times.

We are just mousy food of a prison,

aren't we?

But we did not walk in.

There are tunnels right under this prison.

What shall we get to it down the chimney

with the monster in it, do we?

It is infested with dead bodies.

Because it was him!

Shagging Sam!

I trusted you!

You c**t!

Do you know how close we are to escape?

With power?

It's a beast.

Go to the room and wait for me there.

It's normal in our town.

f*ck!

Wait, wait!

Wait!

f*ck!

I can do it.

Come on, come on, come on.

Gómez must be around here somewhere.

Mr. Gómez!

I have to say that in the

years I've been here, I haven't

seen panic like this since the

last time that thing came out.

Is that the letter?

Out of here.

They left.

Thank you.

And you can leave too.

And why didn't you come?

I loved you with me.

You left me just like the poor convict

down there.

And now it's my turn.

Go.

No, no, no, no.

No, you can't tell me that.

No.

I came back to save you.

And I want you to come with me.

I've changed.

Are you listening?

I've changed.

I've changed.

God damn it.

You haven't changed a thing.

You're so f*cking selfish.

I didn't want to see you die for whatever

it was that we had.

But I regret that I thought you were more

than a f*cking chameleon.

I don't give a sh*t.

No, enough!

You abandoned me.

It was you.

It was you.

So you're not taking a single drop of my

coke.

And you can leave now.

No, no, no.

No, no, no.

No, no.

I thought it was because I lost

confidence.

Open up, you b*stard.

Look, if you don't come with me, at least

I need to know that you're safe in here.

No.

I'm sorry.

I'll tell everything.

Did I hit you?

Obviously not.

You're not maybe capable of hurting me.

It is a f*cking shame.

Shut up!

Son of a b*tch, open the f*cking door

already!

Open the f*cking door already!

Is it behind you or not?

It's in the f*cking cage.

¡Mejor disparame!

Shut up!

We're getting out.

¿De qué va a servir?

¿De qué chingados va a servir?

¡Tranquila!

Me van a culpar a mí.

Me van a echar la culpa.

Donde quiera que vaya, me van a encontrar.

Hey, can we maybe, I don't know,

get out of here?

Mi hermano, Matea, su amante.

Para Gómez.

Bajo mi supervisión.

En el cartel.

Voy a querer mi cabeza.

Sea lo que sea.

Voy a matar a Gómez.

No me voy a valer madres.

No me voy a valer verga.

Pues desaparece.

Abre esta puerta y nadamos.

Allá afuera.

¿Quién chingados soy allá afuera?

¿Dónde irís?

Yo solo soy la que soy cuando estoy aquí

dentro.

Tú ya no eres tú.

O por lo menos me

acabas de dar tres buenas

razones por las que no

eres tú aquí adentro, Selma.

Coño, que nades conmigo.

No más nada, pequeño.

Perdóname.

Gemma.

Are you ready, Selma?

Three, two, one.

You're getting a bit too into all this,

aren't ya?

Shut up and walk.

Keep calm.

And act like you're a f*cking prisoner.

A calm prisoner.

Okay?

You need to stop giving it a f*cking bigger

than acting like a f*cking ten-year -old.

This outfit stinks of dead guy.

There's people watching us.

Are they suspicious?

I don't know what they're seeing,

do I?

Either they're thinking

there's an old b*stard with a

prisoner or there's a couple

of gringos coming f*cking out.

There's loads of kids here.

All right.

They're not f*cking cute.

They aren't?

Yeah.

Hey.

Hey, Moskov.

What?

Las cosas están cambiando por acá.

What?

Váyanse de aquí.

No, gracias.

I don't f*cking care.

Just f*cking know what's going on.

Just f*cking go.

Right, there it is.

Give me a def.

What's your reckoning?

A double.

f*cking look at it.

I'm looking at you.

Oh, we can do this.

Right.

We can do this, mate.

We can do it, right?

We're just f*cking believing ourselves.

What are we thinking here, lads?

Oi!

Oi!

f*cking hell!

Jesus Christ, mate.

f*ck.

Jesus f*cking Christ!

Quiet!

Look, I'm sorry.

Was it all right to

leave me there in the

minefield thinking every

step would be my last?

Yeah?

It's okay, mate.

I'm scared, too.

Clive, what's with the knife, mate?

You know, maybe it isn't okay.

f*cking Clive!

Jesus!

No!

f*ck.

I f*cking hate you, sh*t.

You brought us to this place.

My dad's dead.

You watched him vanish into that minefield

and you did less than nothing to stop him.

God!

God!

I'll get to you in a minute!

Clive, please.

You're not Clive.

You're not seeing straight.

This isn't you, right?

Who is it then, Stuart?

Am I frightening you?

Because you don't seem too big in your

boots right now.

You know what you were doing.

You know what you were doing to all of us.

It's this place.

It's f*cking nightmare.

See, most of my adult life, I've allowed

myself to be treated like an insect.

Christ knows when I started accepting it.

Clearly, I f*cking did.

Dumb sh*t!

Just let it happen.

See, you stole my self-esteem.

It's true.

You k*lled my dad.

Sure, Ryan pushed him, but

you're not the reason he's gone.

You left me dead, Stuart.

I'm sorry, Skye.

What could I do?

Please, this isn't you, mate.

You've lost the thread.

You've lost it.

Have I?

See, the thing is, I feel like I've only

just found it.

Now get up.

Skye, please.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, mate.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Get up.

I'm sorry, Skye.

For everything.

How do you f*cking buy, Stuart?

Stuart, no!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no.

You've done us a solid dare, Ryan,

yeah?

You should have done that a long time ago.

Trust me.

He was a terrible

f*cking friend.

Hm?

It's just you and me now, Ryan,

yeah?

No.

No?

What do you mean, no?

I f*cking love to cut, Skye.

f*ck you!

f*ck!

f*ck!

Steven, Steven, mate.

I don't know.

I've got to get out of here.

Get up.

I can't, Ryan.

I can't, bro.

I can't.

It's not over.

It's just started.

Get the f*ck up.

I can't.

Get up and we're gonna find our way out.

I'll find my ribs, mate.

I'll f*ck it.

My ribs are f*cking I

can feel my ribs are broken.

Come on, mate.

Keep moving.

Get up, get up.

f*ck it.

Run.

Let's go.

We're on our way.

Real shitty situation we find ourselves

in.

I thought we had a good plan, but you

disappeared on me.

It's been quite a while.

Well still, not all bad news.

Now that you two are here, in

my It's you know, it's you, first.

Where the f*ck are we?

What is this f*cking thing?

What is it?

It's a gorilla.

It's just a big and desperate f*cking

gorilla.

How do you know who it is?

I was at

Keeper.

Sort of.

Long ago.

The sh*t for brains f*cking go-head bought

it as a baby.

He locked me up with it.

When he caught me stealing from him.

And I became like

its parents.

And then I got out of here.

And then I got out of here.

They would sh**t the thing.

They should have shot the thing.

It would have been kinder, huh?

f*cking down here.

I only escaped because I managed to let

the gorilla out.

Maybe I will set him free.

But he's even bigger, angrier,

and maybe I'm stranger to him.

So should we f*cking go then?

To the boat?

Yeah.

Well

I think

I'm not making it to the boat.

I'm really not going.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Then I think you would need this.

Take it.

You will need the phone.

Stick together.

You will need to.

Stop fighting like f*cking children.

Work together.

Come on.

Okay, here's a bunch more coke.

Inside the luggage.

Take it.

Yes.

One of you should take this.

You need to follow the tunnels.

Keep going right.

Don't stop.

The tunnels get thinner.

Then stop at the levers.

That's the tricky part.

There are three levers and only two of

you.

But it should be easy enough.

Three, two, one.

You know it's crazy.

All these years on an island.

I don't think I've gone swimming since I

was a little girl.

I don't know why you have that face.

But I suppose I did you a favor.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Stop!

Stop!

Look, it's okay.

It's okay.

We're getting out.

Okay, we're getting out.

Hey, no, no.

It's out.

It's f*cking out!

He's here.

No, no, no.

Keep your eyes to the floor.

And go down slowly.

Slowly.

Go down.

Be humble.

Okay?

Don't look him in the eye.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

God!

God!

.

See what you're doing?

We've got to keep moving.

We've got to keep moving.

It's one thing after another.

I'm dying.

We have to.

There's no escape.

I'm sorry.

I f*cking k*lled us.

Look, there's a man.

Just out here.

On a boat.

Waiting for his cocaine.

Waiting for his f*cking cocaine.

I can't do this anymore, mate.

I wanted to stop all of it.

You go ahead, yeah?

You said you would if you could,

so just

Go ahead.

Look.

Look.

Close your eyes.

Close your f*cking eyes and meet me.

I need you to visualise it.

I need you to see what I'm f*cking seeing.

And I need you to believe it.

We both need to want to believe it.

I want to, mate.

I really f*cking want to.

Just outside this tunnel, there's a coast.

Yeah?

And the sea.

And the sun's shining.

And he's glinting off the sea.

Yeah?

Yeah, it's the sea.

So we give him the coke.

He starts the engine.

And it takes us where?

It takes us f*cking where?

Mainland.

Way away from here.

Right.

This way.

This way.

And we just f*cking run, mate.

We just We just run.

And we keep running.

Until

Until nobody's chasing us.

Yeah?

Till we're back.

Till we're home.

And we You know, we can

We can go straight to pub for life.

We've just got to keep it together.

Pick up the pieces, alright?

It's just It's one last beat.

I don't want to be

who I've been anymore, alright?

But

I don't like who I am.

I just want you all to stop.

I don't f*cking deserve you.

I f*cking deserve you.

Come on.

Come on.

Get up, man.

Get up.

Get the f*ck up.

Listen to my voice.

Just keep listening to me.

It's because you've always hated yourself,

mate.

It's always made me love you.

You had to f*cking

trust it here, mate.

You do these things by accident.

You can't f*cking help yourself.

f*cking ladder.

It's got a f*cking wing.

You see what I'm saying?

f*cking ladder.

f*cking ladder.

Come on.

qui

Ok.

You hold it there.

Yeah.

Hold it there.

That's it.

f*ck it.

f*ck it.

I just want to just f*ck it on This

is not good Yes, this is not good!

be quiet.

We have no way of getting out of here.

I'm all right, I'm all right, I'm all

right.

It's time.

I'm okay.

All right.

Okay, uh

I can't not play!

f*cking hell!

Alright, let me get it!

f*cking hell!

Go, go, go!

Yes!

Okay.

And then you put a thing.

Same time.

Alright?

One, two, three!

Oh my f*cking god!

I don't f*cking know!

Go!

Go, go, go!

Go, keep going!

Give it to

me!

You've done it, Roy!

Roy, you've done it, Roy!

You've f*cking done it!

There's nothing bad that's not going to

happen.

Hurry!

Mike!

I'm not f*cking having this!

We've f*cking caught a cold.

There's probably another boat coming.

That can't be our boat.

Because we can bribe people or something,

can't we?

Brian, it's over.

Yeah, we can.

It's over, Ryan.

No, it's not.

Yes.

Yes, it is.

It is.

We tried, mate, we tried.

But it is.

Truly.

I can't

This thing, what was he saying it was?

He said it was his f*cking plan B,

didn't he?

He said it was his plan B.

Yes.

Tell them what we're thinking,

then.

I'm thinking it's a life jacket,

Ryan.

I'm thinking two of us

one jacket.

Look, just get back to

that f*cking life jacket.

The energy we just had.

OK?

We need to get back to the f*cking

positivity.

The energy from all that, OK?

Back to being positive.

OK?

We stick together.

We stick together like always.

We'll get through it.

OK, Ryan.

Just one jacket.

What's that mean?

That means that one of us is wearing

it and the other one's just

just treading water.

OK?

And then you get tired and you switch.

So it's switch, rest, tread.

I mean, look.

It's slow going, but it's a way out.

It's f*cking easy to get out.

Shall we take it in turns, yeah?

Me and you.

f*cking Titanic it, mate.

Or not.

f*cking Winslet.

f*ck Winslet.

We'll survive.

We can.

We're out here.

We can

we can find something else.

A bit of wood or something.

I think I've got it, Ryan.

I've got it.

I'm with you.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yes, come here.

Come this way.

Please.

Please, just just

just help me visualise it, will you?

Yes.

pls.

Come on.

Let's let's

close our eyes.

Yes.

Yes.

Like you said, we're out here.

And you've got to check it all.

And I'm treading water.

And then what's that?

What's that?

In front of me.

What can I see?

What is it?

It's the bluebell, mate.

Just a couple of cold points.

God damn it.

Yeah?

Cheese and onion crisp.

Taste it, mate.

You're not going to

You're sailing a life jacket, right?

It's a boat.

You're going to

You're going to I'm going.

I'm going.

She's f*cking kidding.

She's funny.

I'm sorry.

I really want to tell you I'm sorry.

Hi, this is Sam.

I'm not here

right now, so

You're probably somewhere now wondering

where the hell I am.

Where the hell your dad and brother are.

And you

you're going to hear some things about

me, Sam.

And I'm not sure what that's going to do

to how you think about me or

how you think about that

ring of mine on your finger.

I'd k*ll for you.

I'd do worse.

I've done worse.

It was always about you, baby.

I hope you know that.

It was always about you.





Did you f*ck Ryan?

Did you f*ck Ryan?

Are you f*cking real?

Where the f*ck did you even come from?

Was it supposed to be like this?

No.

No, it wasn't.

Craig was right.

I should have asked for more f*cking

money.

When I first brought you in on this,

you made it feel like I couldn't back out.

Do you believe that there's such a thing

as karma, Clem?

Is this because of what I just watched you

do to Ryan?

No.

No.

bite is