01x06 - Yakitori

[bunniefuu]

An armed conflict has arisen
on Planet Barka, next.

A state of emergency has been
declared for all Barkan territories.

We have received reports
of orbital bombing in the area,

destroying the surface of the planet.

The Trade Federation
is being accused of genocide.

It's these deceitful tactics
used by the Trade Federation

that made us form the union
against them in the first place.

We should all place great importance
on local sovereignty.

Here at Unity, we object to
the Trade Federation's barbaric behavior

shown on this b*ttlefield.

Many within the Trade Federation
are demanding answers for this violence.

There are reports of secret tribunals
being held behind closed doors.

Damn it!

What the hell's going on?

Let go.

Take this sh*t off me.

YAKITORI: SOLDIERS OF MISFORTUNE

YAKITORI

ONE WEEK PRE-BARKAN DISPATCH

MARS STATION, AKA "THE KITCHEN"
MANAGEMENT STAFF AREA

Chicken here isn't too bad,
is it, Mr. Akira?

So, then,

as a fellow Yakitori,
what are your thoughts?

Forcing a Yakitori to eat chicken
and asking how it is?

I only came
because you're paying tonight, Pupkin.

You know, you're kind of a twisted guy.

Nothing wrong with a bit of cannibalism.

Your order, sir.

Hey, can I ask you something?

Hmm?

Where exactly did the name Yakitori
originate from anyway?

Well, at first,
you guys were known as Turkeys.

Turkeys? That's nothing like Yakitori.

It's because there were more Americans
in the program to start.

In America, they have a tradition

where they eat turkey on Thanksgiving.

It's a holiday they celebrate.

One particular event
involves the president

pardoning a turkey from slaughter.

Apparently, it was ironic
that turkeys were given mercy,

yet they were sent to die.

The soldiers called themselves Turkeys
to make a point.

That's stupid.

So, how did it go
from that to chicken meat instead?

They once returned
injured orbital infantrymen

to the surface.

They were burned from the atmosphere.

Someone called the charred bodies
chicken yakitori and that was that.

The name stuck
and eventually got adopted into Srilankan.

That's really messed up.

Yakitori are just equipment.

According to the Trade Federation,

you're not considered soldiers to them.

You could even say
you're a consumable good,

worthless after use.

Fodder that isn't worth the effort.

To be honest,

I hate this.

Deep down inside, I despise it.

So, what am I doing about it?

Giving me some hope.

ONE WEEK AFTER THE BARKAN INCIDENT

TRADE FEDERATION HOME FLEET

BARKA DISTRICT 142
SPECIAL DISPATCH FLEET BASE

LIKEWISE: MILITARY COURT

In the name
of honor, fairness, and ethics,

the court, for the Federation of Commerce,

hereby opens the floor for this tribunal.

Now, the defense.

Pardon.

Huh?

What's this?

Trade Federation Barkan District
special dispatch officers...

I see.

And also the Trade Federation Marines.

Just to confirm,

I believe you are not
a court-appointed attorney?

As counsel for the defendants,
I am a private attorney.

Do you have some doubts
regarding my credentials?

No, there are no issues
if all your credentials are up-to-date.

The prosecution may begin.

Let's hear your opening.

Hmm.

Several within the Barkan Fleet
were given a set of classified orders,

and these actions resulted in grave...

This is the thanks we get
for cleaning up your mess?

Screw this!

And so the prosecution

will begin presenting
the evidence in our case.

Now, we would like to call
our first witness to the stand,

the Trade Federation officer
in charge of the defendants' unit.

Very well.

First witness, please take the stand.

Huh?

Please state
your name and credentials.

I am Vasa Pupkin, and I am in charge
of the Special Space Security Industry.

It is the Ordinary Person Unit

authorized by the licensing authority

of the United Nations
and Office of the Government-General,

which is outsourced
by the Intelligent Species Bureau

assigned by the Pan-Star System

and Trade Federation Security Council.

I assume that you're willing to swear in
before this court.

I swear to tell the truth
and nothing but the truth

to the best of my knowledge,

and I will tell it
of my own free will and testament.

Very well.

The prosecution may start.

Begin questioning.

Witness, this is an extremely unfortunate
outcome to your program.

To think the Yakitoris would choose
to perform acts of genocide against Barka...

I know I never dreamed

that the military action
of our great Trade Federation

would do something so horrendous.

Witness,

what is your expert opinion
on the matter of their decision?

Was this not a foreseeable risk
you thought to plan for?

Like you can trust any of them.

They're the ones
who said Barka wasn't a risk!

No, I believe it wasn't foreseeable.

All of the defendants passed

the Trade Federation tests
for qualifications

before they were deployed on this mission.

However, they still ended up
going berserk and off book.

And this is the reality.

Witness,

please allow me to confirm.

Is this behavior new to you?

You oversee the Yakitori.
It's been your job for some time now.

Yes.

Unfortunately,
there are many on the record.

Multiple instances
according to the Federation.

There was the large-scale theft
of our Great Satisfaction rations

not long ago.

Also, an awful situation
where an Earth cat was abused.

- Oh yes, and...
- Okay, that's enough!

All right.

Then let me ask you.

Has there ever been an act of defiance

like the indiscriminate m*ssacre
in the city district of Barka?

Hmm.

To my knowledge,
I don't believe there has.

So then, is it correct to say
that this is the first despicable case

of senseless violence against innocents
who were not causing unrest?

That in this particular instance,
one could label it a genocide?

Objection!

There is no way this particular witness
would have access

to secret court-martial precedents.

And therefore, he cannot give
an accurate answer

to the question posed by the prosecution.

Objection sustained.

To the prosecutor,
please rephrase the question.

Very well, I will.

Witness,

are these the Yakitori members
you recruited?

Yes, I handpicked this unit.

K321 was chosen by me on Planet Earth.

In other words,

you admit to the court that this unit

was under your management
when this incident was caused?

No, by that point,
they would not be considered

under my management anymore.

They were under the command

of the Trade Federation
Barkan Dispatch Fleet

at the time of the incident.

Hey, Pupkin, you b*stard!

Are you just trying to save your own a*s?

I see.

So then, let me ask
the witness once again.

Was the Yakitori unit
as a whole responsible

for the genocide on Planet Barka?

Yakitori training includes
a number of mental-preservation measures.

Ah! We don't need the technical details.

Let me ask you
this question directly, then.

Was the genocide made possible

because it was
Unit K321 working the mission?

Could it have been avoided

if any other Yakitori unit
had been chosen instead?

I see.

If the use of heavy weapons in the city

and the orbital bombardment
was the trigger,

then unfortunately, I think,

well,

I would have to say yes to that.

As this is a crucial point, witness,
we need a clear statement.

The incident that occurred on Planet Barka

was only possible
because of Unit K321's involvement.

I believe that to be true.

Freaking b*stard!

You betrayed us!

You...

you knowingly did this!

DAY BEFORE COURT MARTIAL TRIAL

We're at a critical moment.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

You seem quite tired.

We can't deny what happened on Barka.

Since we can't, they'll be searching for
someone to blame for it.

Cook, I'm going to be upfront with you.

The situation is not looking good.

Why do you think that?

This situation,

the bombardment of Barka
was requested

because they believed it wasn't
in violation of the rules of engagement

against orbital weapons.

Some are even calling
for a dissection of their brains

to check for mental stability.

I don't believe it'll get that far.

Uh... Huh?

Perhaps I could make
a very small suggestion to you.

Now, over to the defense.

Your cross-examination.

Before that, Your Honor,

may I quickly ask
the prosecution something?

It's about the witness

and his expertise on this matter.

The prosecution?

They are welcome to ask.

In regards to this witness,

I'd like to ask
what are his qualifications exactly?

You never informed us.

Is the person in charge
of the Special Space Security Industry

Jurisdiction Ordinary Person Unit

authorized by the joint licensing
authority of the United Nations

and Office of the Government-General

outsourced
by the Intelligent Species Bureau

designated by the Pan-Star System
Trade Federation Security Council

part of the quality control department?

I'm sorry, but what point
are you trying to make?

If it's all right to speak candidly,

I found this very curious from the start.

We don't fully understand
why this trial

is being held in this court
in the first place.

What do you mean?

What?

What are the dogs up to?

Wait. I don't mean that as a slight
against the authority of this court.

The defense is simply posing a question.

Is this the appropriate court
for this trial?

We believe that perhaps these charges
should be tried as something different.

One moment, please.

Would you mind explaining your reasoning?

It doesn't sound like you're claiming
the defendants are innocent.

Of course not.

To begin,

let's look at the defendants.

Who

are these defendants we're speaking of?

This isn't what I expected!

Order in the court!

Order in the court!

Do you not see
that the defendants are right there?

Ah, but I pose a query to the court.

This group of Yakitoris,
these humans you see before you,

do you find it appropriate
to label them as defendants?

I... I'm sorry?
I beg your pardon?

You Honor!
I ask that you silence this nonsense.

What is the legal definition of Yakitori?

Equipment.

Meaning you're prosecuting property
as citizens.

Property?

Let's use a g*n
as an example of equipment.

A g*n does not sh**t a being on its own.

A being is the one who pulls the trigger.

In that case, it is the being
who should be tried and not the g*n.

Wouldn't you agree with that?

What... what is this?

Why would you ever charge the equipment
over the being using it?

When do you plan
to charge the foreign affairs clan?

Does this not call into question
the prosecution's sanity?

It is hard to understand
how they can so brazenly commit

an aggravated breach of trust

against the civil service clan

and insult this court!

Plus, it's a waste of public funds.

Order in the court!

Order in the court!

I will hold you all in contempt!

Quiet down now!

Wh... while they may not be tried
as a Trade Federalist,

they clearly broke the rules.

We cannot dismiss

that, as military contractors,
they broke the rules of engagement.

The rules of engagement?

May I assume you're choosing
to change the charges now?

The Yakitori before us
requested an orbital bombardment.

That much is true!

And thus, it was a clear and unambiguous
violation of the rules of engagement!

Even as equipment,

it is obvious they are the ones at fault!

Mr. Pupkin.

Sir.

Did you arrange
for the members of Unit K321

to complete courses on the Trade
Federation's military rules of engagement

or, perhaps, other legal matters?

No, I did not.

Not at all?

Not at all.

Your Honor,

does it seem reasonable
to search for features

that were never programmed
into the equipment?

If they were Trade Federalists,

ignorance of the law
would not exempt them.

However,

if equipment ordered to eliminate threats

against the Trade Federation military
did this,

would the responsibility
then not belong to them,

but instead to the ones
who gave the orders?

The ones who gave the orders?

At the time on Barka,

the Trade Federation Army
was taking orders

from the foreign affairs clan's
special envoy.

Isn't that the truth?

Huh? Wait a sec.

Does this mean they're pointing
their fingers at the cats?

There's more.

Trade Federation military
equipment purchases,

they follow
the code of conduct regulations,

as outlined
by the financial and judiciary clan.

That's unprecedented!

Court, I ask you to take a look
at the list I've prepared for you.

The names of the financial
and judicial clan authorities

responsible for the Fair Trade
Code of Conduct Regulations.

I also have a list
of foreign affairs clan authorities

in charge of negotiations on Barka.

It appears there have been no charges
brought against any of them.

So does the prosecution
have any thoughts on this?

Holy crap! He turned it around!

With that statement,

the defense concludes
our cross-examination.

Once again, I ask all of you,

why exactly is this trial
being held here in the first place?

- Yeah.
- We were so lucky.

All right!

Great to see you back.

Did you see
the look on his face?

- I'm so glad.
- That's awesome.

Yeah, well done!

My dear Yakitoris,
congratulations on your acquittal.

I'm truly happy for you.

Pupkin.

So thank you.

You have carved a new pathway for us.

You're thanking us?

I understand the thanks, but no apology?

Yeah, hit him again!

And just what the hell
do you think you're smiling about?

I'm very moved by all of your work here.

Huh?

Can you believe him?

Don't act like you helped us.

All you did was give
your testimony in court.

What's going on?

Well, you see, the Cook here
is the one who pointed out to us

that, technically,
you Yakitoris are equipment.

Huh? Hold on, then.

Are you saying you had this planned
from the beginning of it all?

No. No. I swear I did not.

Basically, you used us today.
Isn't that right?

Mm-hmm.

I suppose I did.

However, I still came
to discuss the next job with you.

What? Is this a joke?

Now then, the offer I have for you
isn't a bad deal.

- Huh?
- Hmm.

You'd be sent back to Mars
for a bit more study time.

- We'd be studying?
- What would we do?

While you were acquitted on this case,
we can't just ignore Yakitoris

who don't know the Trade Federation
military ethics and morals.

And we got orders from those above us

that your unit must be educated
right away.

Well, I suppose that makes sense.

Back to the good ol' days of studying,
I guess.

Seriously, what a joke.

As long as John Doe isn't
our instructor anymore, it'll be fine.

- For sure.
- Yeah.

So what about after?

In all honesty, I have no idea.

If there comes a time when you're
ever assigned to our unit again,

we'd be happy to have you.

I did tell him you guys make
the best decoys after all.

Big talk after we saved your a*s!

Huh?

THREE MONTHS
AFTER COURT MARTIAL TRIAL

After all that time studying back on Mars,

I can't believe they sent us all
back to Barka!

Our simulations were never this shaky!

Oh, crap. I'm gonna hurl!

Be thankful
no one is attacking us this time!

Can you all just shut the hell... Ah!

Everyone, careful not to bite your tongue!

Too late now!

I'll k*ll you.

Which one is the ambassador?

That would be me!

And just who are
you violent people, anyway?

Has no one taught you
how to introduce yourselves?

- What the hell?
- Akira!

Let's not start a new diplomatic issue!

Notification:
Incoming call from Officer Rimel.

Ha, ha.

Okay, okay.

This is K321.

Target secured.

I repeat, target secured.

Well done, Yakitoris.

The target has a shitty attitude
considering we saved her a*s.

All ambassadors are the same.

Just grin and bear it. You get used to it.

So, are we getting an elevator
to pick us up or what?

Unfortunately, we haven't retaken
the elevators control room,

so then we have no way
of being able to get you back up here.

I knew this would happen.

Oh, shut up, Erland.

You're such a stick in the mud!

- Oh, he is!
- Hey, come on, you guys!

Will you give it a rest?

All right, what do we do now?

Anyone? You got any ideas?

Oh, what's this?
Normally you don't ask our opinions.

Guess it's true.
Some people do change for the better.

- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, come on!

- We're supposed to be a team.
- We either climb up or we climb down.

Those are all the options we have.

All on our own?

Do you have any idea
how high the space elevator is up there?

It would be insane to climb up so high,

but the surface isn't as far down.

So I guess we climb down.

- Okay, that's enough talking.
- Hmm.

Let's get going.

Here.

Here.

- Here.
- Uh...

Here.

- Rock, paper, scissors!
- Uh!

What a reckless way to decide!

Of course, the Trade Federation...

Ah!

Why don't you wait
until we get out of here alive

before complaining about it?

Akira, you ready to go?

Yeah.

Let's roll.

Hey, mister? You guys are
with the Trade Federation, aren't you?

Yeah, that's right.

Everyone says
the Trade Federation are the bad guys.

Does that mean you people are bad?

I mean, kind of.

Well, I wouldn't call us
the defenders of justice.

It's not that we're the bad guys either.

For sure.

We're disposable orbital infantrymen.

But you can call us...

the Yakitori.

Whoo!