Here's the
thing about parents.
When you grow up, they tell
you to think for yourself,
but they spend your
whole childhood
telling you what to think.
My dad used to always say...
- "Don't trust anyone, Billy."
- Don't trust anyone, Billy.
Confusing, right?
Yes! Everybody on
your feet. Let's go.
How's everybody doing tonight?
I said, how's everybody
doing tonight?!
Let's go!
That's what I'm talking about.
How you doing?
Beautiful crowd.
Alright, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
Sit down. Sit down, please.
We got a lot to do today.
We got a lot to do.
Leonardo here.
We're going live for
all the folks back home
who couldn't make it.
Thank you, Leonardo.
Let's give him a
round of applause!
Come on!
He wants to hear you, too!
Thank you!
Please, everybody, sit
down, sit down, sit down.
Billy?
We're ready for you.
Here we go.
You sure about that?
We've been ready for
a few minutes now.
You were looking at your phone.
Well, the feed never sleeps.
Nor do you, it seems.
Well, no one lets me.
There's too much...
There's too many
people to connect to.
Want to ask you all a question.
How many of you
think for yourself?
Now, folks, that's supposed
to be the hand-raiser today.
If that's all we got,
we got a problem.
What were
you going to say?
If only she knew what
I really wanted to say.
Okay, well, I'm going to
introduce you quickly,
and then we can get
started, alright?
I thought we were
already started.
- I need something.
- Come on, come on.
I thought you were
already ready for me.
I need something to
introduce the segment.
Don't you want people
to know who you are?
If they're tuning in, Leslie,
they already know who I am.
There is no segment anymore.
That's why I'm here.
There's probably
someone already...
There it is, my... my crafty guy
is already going live with this.
Your segment will be old news
before it even makes the news.
Be that as it may,
I need something to come
into from commercial.
So if you don't mind,
I'd like to do my job,
and then I can get
out of your hair.
- Is that okay with you?
- Great.
I just got the green
light from a dinosaur.
- Great.
- Alright, let's go.
Come on, hands up... How many
of you think for yourselves?
That's more like it.
Alright, a lot of you.
A lot of hands, a lot of
people proudly admitting
to thinking for themselves.
- Nobody...
- Now,
and I mean no-f*cking-body,
thinks for themselves.
What if I were to tell you...
f*ck me. I don't.
It was all bullshit?
We're sitting here backstage,
and as you can hear through the
walls, the crowd is rocking.
This capacity crowd is here
to see this man, Billy Seldom,
- a social-media sensation...
- Blah, blah, blah.
When does she shut the f*ck up?
With his rather aggressive
philosophies on self-help.
Is she ever going
to shut the f*ck up?
With more than 15
million followers online
and what sounds to be a
lucrative book deal...
- Okay, get to the point, lady.
- Mr. Seldom has spent
the past few months on
a sold-out speaking tour
across the country, becoming a
household name in the process
and the face of the
ideals of a generation.
Yeah, they know my name.
That's why they're watching.
Of course.
To what would you say
you owe your success?
Well, I think it's
pretty simple, Leslie.
Thank you for that
lovely introduction.
I think what it comes down to
is that people in this country
and around the world are tired
of being told what to do,
tired of being shown
the rules of the game
and when and where
they get to play it.
They're finally ready
to take their lives
into their own hands.
As for why me, which, I think,
is what you were getting at,
I think that people,
especially young people,
have a much more sensitive
radar for bull
than you give them credit for.
I'm always honest with them.
They respect that, which I think
this is what this
movement is based off of.
This is a cable
news program, Billy.
Oh, come on, you got a bleep
guy back there somewhere.
Let's make him earn his
lunch for once.
Huh? What if I were to tell you
that the last time any of
you thought for yourselves,
I mean really thought
for yourselves
was never.
I don't know. I don't know.
Alright, come on, come on.
Let's hear it. Let's hear it.
Stay with me now. Hear
me out. Hear me out.
Don't you see the
hypocrisy in your message?
Where would that be?
Surely you see the irony
in one man making a fortune
asking people to listen to him
tell them to think
for themselves.
Don't you tell
people how to think?
- I report the news.
- With a point of view.
An objective
point of view.
Now
who's the hypocrite?
Objectivity is dead.
You and whoever you work for
compete for head space
the same way I do.
The only difference
is I'm honest
about where I'm coming from.
I never told anyone
to listen to me.
All I've done is simply
state what I feel
is the most effective way
to live a life with purpose.
And charge a
pretty penny to hear it.
Well, I didn't invent
the marketplace.
No, but you did write a book.
Oh, so you did notice.
"Burn the Other Cheek."
Provocative title.
Are you implying that this
movement, as you so call it,
is representing some
kind of new religion?
No, I would never get in
the way of someone's faith.
But what is religion, anyway,
if not a code of rules passed
down through civilization
as a means of
establishing control?
Pray here. Don't pray there.
Thou shalt this.
Thou shalt not that.
I don't really go in
for that kind of thing.
My message is simple.
I say think for yourself.
Do what you want to do
because you want to,
not your teacher or your father,
definitely not
your anchor woman.
Well, and what
about your father?
And here we go.
You've never
mentioned him before,
and he's impossible to
reach for a comment.
Where does he fit into all this?
I'm done with this sh*t.
Billy, these people
want to know about you.
You said so yourself,
you're always honest.
So, what do you say to
the people out there
who are curious about where
Billy Seldom comes from?
I say go f*ck
yourself, Leslie.
I say think for yourselves.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
f*cking prick.
Because, Billy, we have to
- cross-pollinate with...
- Stop! Stop!
That is the last
interview I ever give.
- You got that? Ever!
- Yeah.
- You hear that sound?
- Uh, yes.
You know why they make
that sound for me?
Because they love you, Billy.
No, it's because I sell
them a f*cking dream.
Got that?
Don't ever saddle
me with reality
like that again ever, okay?
f*ck off me.
Oh, f*ck!
Okay.
What is truth?
This world has led us to believe
it's everything and nothing.
We've become our
own worst enemy,
total hypocrites.
The tragedy unfolding
before our eyes is partly paved
by misplaced optimism
and the global community.
Will you turn that off, please?
...that have been
growing for decades.
Great interview today.
I thought it doesn't
air until tomorrow.
Well, they released
some teaser footage.
You f*cking k*lled
it. She was a b*tch.
Yeah, she was a b*tch.
That was quick.
How was your day?
Like every other day.
The world is ending.
When is it not ending?
Is that what you're wearing?
- Oh, sh*t.
- You are unbelievable.
I completely forgot
that was today.
How is that possible?
I was a little busy
this afternoon.
Oh, please, you could
practically sleepwalk
through those things by now.
- I mean, you already do.
- What does that mean?
Billy, I thought we came
home so you could change.
Babe, I really, really don't
think I can do it tonight.
Billy, this is a
party to honor you.
You're literally
the guest of honor.
- You can't not go.
- Yes, I can.
I can do whatever I want.
That is the whole
point of all of this.
Oh, my God, I'm not
talking about your shows.
I'm not talking
about your books.
I'm talking about the real world
where you actually have to thank
the people who give you money.
Isn't the fact that I make them
the money thank-you enough?
Can't I just keep
making them more money?
I'm not having this
conversation with you
every single time
we go to dinner.
Natalie.
Do you like this
life that we live,
this house that we live in,
going on tour around the country
with people running up to
you screaming your name?
- Yes.
- Yeah, you do.
Okay, well, these
are the people.
Is that what you're
f*cking wearing?
We can just order in.
We will have a drink.
We can have a drink here.
f*ck. Could...
We don't need them.
Alright, we got
here without them.
We don't owe them anything.
Alright, don't you
ever get tired of it?
No. You look great.
Let's f*cking go.
Okay.
So, here's the thing.
My dad is a good guy.
Yeah, he's a good one.
But, sh*t, he really
had a lot to say.
You know, sometimes when people
try to teach you something,
they shove it all the
way down your throat.
They never give you a chance
to figure it out for yourself.
It's counter intuitive, right?
Well, that's how
the brain works.
You see, Billy, life is
a funny one, ain't it?
You waited here like a good boy,
waiting for me to tell
you what to do next.
That's good.
That means you follow orders.
And really, son,
you got to make life
the way you want it.
Have morals, but people's
people's going to want
you to follow its ways.
You know?
Go to college, get a job, taxes.
Always got to follow
this damn system.
My best advice to
you, son, Billy boy
screw all that and do
what you want to do.
I can teach you
right from wrong.
But the rest, it's up to you.
School won't teach you that.
No, no, no, it will not.
Job?
It won't teach you that.
You got to teach yourself
what you want to do.
You know, Billy,
think for yourself.
That's all I can
say.
Now, where is my g*dd*mn cigar?
people.
Put these telephone down.
I said put the phone down.
We're good. We're good.
No, we're not good.
Thank you, everybody,
for being here tonight.
- No one gives a sh*t.
- We're here to celebrate
our boy Billy and his
great accomplishment.
You're the man, Billy.
Tomorrow is going
to be the first day
of the rest of your life.
These f*cking books
will turn into movie.
And who knows what
the f*ck else?
You might even be playing
yourself in one of these movies.
I say, Tony Robbins,
kiss my a*s.
And, Billy, you did it all with
one simple yet powerful phrase.
Think for yourself.
- Everybody, think for yourself.
- Oh, Leo, Leo.
Only thinking and caring
about his bank account
and how much fatter it gets
with whatever I or any
of his clients sell.
No, no, no, no. You're
the man of the hour.
Everybody wants
to hear you talk.
Give us a speech.
I could be a serial
k*ller for all he cares.
No moral code, no nothing.
Only the code of the Benjamins.
Alright, speech for Leo.
Um...
Where do I start? I've
been speaking all day.
So I'm gonna make this quick.
I feel like that's
all I do these days
is just talk, talk, talk, talk.
I'm sure you're all sick of it.
Um, I'd like to
say thank you, Leo.
I don't know if this
is a good thing or not,
but, um, I wouldn't
be here without you.
So thank you, my
hardworking, crazy agent.
I don't think that
this is where I want to be,
but I wouldn't be
here without you.
So thank you for that.
I'd be remiss if
I wouldn't thank
my beautiful
girlfriend, Natalie.
She looks amazing tonight,
guys, right, doesn't she?
- Look at her, miserable.
- You look beautiful.
And, of course,
have to thank these
little guys right here.
All these things.
These little f*cking
b*stards here.
Where would I be without
these little b*stards, huh?
I know where I would
be... I'd probably be back
on some farm or
something, some nobody.
Leo never would
have heard of me.
But they found me, all
these little things.
They brought me into people's
homes and people's screens
and their feeds
and their families.
And they listened.
The crazy thing about it
is as soon as I started telling
people to think for themselves,
they all started
listening to me.
They listened and
they got hooked on it,
just like they get hooked
on everything else,
just like you guys are all
hooked on the screens right now.
I'm speaking,
there's a human being
speaking in front
of you right now.
Whatever.
I'll be the guy, I guess.
But we're gonna sell a
lot of f*cking books,
so cheers, everybody.
Drink for yourselves.
Have a fun time. Eat up on me.
How's that for
your Insta Stories?
Tired of living
this f*cking lie.
Yeah, maybe just
stick to the wine.
What wine?
Do you want me to
ask the waiter?
- No, I'll do it myself.
- Hey, guys.
We're going live.
This is so gonna trend.
Is this what
our society has become?
Detached from their
brains and their hearts.
...like this be
threatened on a global level.
Reality.
...is just
unheard of, really.
Look, Leslie,
this is bringing back
a lot of unsettling thoughts.
Chianti, old as hell.
What happened to us could
happen to the entire world.
Well, these are potentially
uncharted territories
we're entering.
Is that funny?
It just hit me.
Wine is the only
thing people like old.
Nothing ages like a grape.
Hmm. That's true, huh?
I'm glad someone's having fun.
Rough night?
Well, it was a rough morning,
and then it was
a long afternoon,
and then it was a drive
in traffic to a dinner
that I wanted no part of, and
then it was a rough night.
Well, it can't be that bad.
You're drinking
pretty good wine.
Maybe that's the problem.
Maybe I was sad
'cause I was empty.
Maybe you're empty
because you're sad.
I am sad because
this is what passes
for entertainment around here.
God, guy, isn't there,
like, a-a game or something?
You don't watch the news?
That is not news.
Oh, it's not?
No, that is a dumpster fire
filled with anger porn.
Sounds pretty bad.
That sounds like a
f*cking Thursday.
Let me ask you something.
How many times does the same
sh*t have to keep happening
for people to stop
calling it the new normal?
Huh? If it just keeps happening
over and over and over again,
isn't it just normal?
Well, some people aren't ready
to give up on things as you are.
Are you gonna give
up on that martini?
You know what they
say about martinis.
What's that?
They're like t*ts.
One's not enough.
Three's too many.
I always thought martinis
were like assholes.
Why? Because they're dirty?
No, because you can
see right through them.
I'm Billy.
I know who you
are. I follow you.
So you're the one.
Yeah, looking for
the blue check mark.
Well, you're different
than I thought you'd be.
Uh-oh.
No, it's not bad. It's just that
onstage, you're so positive.
You came to see me?
I did, about a year
ago in Green Bay.
Really?
How d... I mean, what
did I say that helped?
You said, hmm, "In order to
win what hasn't been won,
you have to do what
hasn't been done."
And that really stuck with me.
It changed my life.
And I thought, if I
ever got to meet you,
I would say thank you.
So
Thank you.
You're welcome.
It's all bullshit,
isn't it, though?
Yes.
- No. No. No.
- Yes, it is.
This isn't... This
isn't really... me.
Who are you?
I don't know.
Just caught me on a
rough night is all.
Well, can I give you some advice
that someone once told me?
Sure.
Don't throw fuel into the fire.
Think for yourself.
Fun night.
Yeah.
Hey.
Hmm?
I'm not tired.
Okay, well, I'm gonna go,
like, scroll and unwind.
I'll come to bed later.
No, come on, stay.
When are we just gonna
be honest with each other
and end it?
It only continues
because we settled
and normalized this entire
dysfunctional relationship.
Now, Billy, Billy, Billy.
Actually, your mother hated
that I call you Billy.
We did, after all,
name you William.
Yeah, William.
Snooty, snazzy, uppity William.
Nah. Not my son.
You ain't no razzle-dazzle.
So Billy suits you better.
I think.
But what the hell do I know?
It's better to know nothing.
If you know too much, Billy,
you become compromised,
compromised of
your surroundings.
Your mind becomes
who you're with.
And the next thing you
know is what they know.
You follow?
I guess where I'm
trying to get is
forget everyone and
decide who you are.
What is it that you like?
Not what I like,
but what you like.
What is your purpose
in life, son?
I mean, sh*t.
Life happens, fast too.
And then all of
the sudden, poof.
You forget your purpose.
You got to find it on your own.
sh*t, some people never
find their purpose.
Some?
I mean most.
Hear me out.
How many of you went to college
with a major that matches
your job right now?
Okay.
Alright, couple. Nice.
College-educated
crowd. I like it.
Now, how many of you
with your hands raised,
how many of you feel
that what you're doing,
your current career, is
your destiny in life?
What you are doing right now,
everything that led up to
it, was it what you wanted?
Was it? Was it your calling?
I see two hands.
Oh, man. Folks,
folks, folks, listen.
We have fallen into patterns.
Patterns of what, you might ask.
Well, patterns.
Following.
Patterns of following
your friends.
Like. Like. Like.
Like, like, like,
like, like, like.
Patterns of what
our parents want.
Patterns of what our
parents don't want.
That's even worse, right?
Patterns of what the media
tells us is the thing right now.
Do it, do it, do it.
We've all but
forgotten who we are.
Who I am.
Who you are.
Who are you?
Got to ask yourselves.
When was the last time you
did what you wanted to do?
When was the last time you went
where you really wanted to go?
When was the last time you
said what you wanted to say?
When was the last time
you didn't do something
you didn't want to do?
When was the last
time you said no?
Jesus, I can say no?
I'm allowed to do that?
Yeah.
You got to ask yourselves.
When was the last time
that you... or you,
or you
genuinely thought for yourself?
Without hesitations,
without any interruptions,
without hesitations,
without influences.
That's a tough one, folks.
That's a tough one.
In-flu-ences!
Influences.
We should all have role models.
We should all have North Stars.
We should have
healthy influences.
But at what cost?
Huh?
What's good for you?
Is it good for me?
I don't know. I don't know.
Might not be.
The key
to thinking for yourselves.
Three words.
One phrase.
Yeah, that's right.
A lot of you know where
I'm going with this.
It's the first page
in your booklet.
Three big letters.
Let's hear it.
Everybody, on your feet.
Everybody, say it
with me on three.
One, two, three.
Clear the slate.
Turn the page! Let's go!
Programming, ladies
and gentlemen.
Let's talk about programming.
Where do we start with that one?
Programming is the enemy
of thinking for yourself.
It happens to all of us.
It happens from the
second you're born.
You've been programmed.
You've been programmed.
You've been programmed.
You've been programmed.
You've definitely
been programmed.
Why are you laughing, lady?
You've been programmed, too.
All of us.
Programmed to want
what they tell you to want.
Big house, rich job.
You want makeup that
celebrity likes?
No, no, no. I-I-I need it.
Because if I don't
have the same concealer
that that celebrity does,
I might as well be dead
at the side of the road.
Programmed to feel how
they want us to feel.
He said what?
What a monster.
She did what? What a b*tch.
f*ck her.
Let's bury her for
the rest of her life
in shame and ridicule
and accusations.
We think that this program is
given to us to make us happy,
make us feel all
warm and cuddly.
But it's not.
No, it's given to
you to control you.
It's given to you to turn
you all against each other.
What we need to do
is tear that program down,
break it apart brick
by brick by brick.
You guys with me?
Good.
Now repeat after me.
Repeat
after me, Billy.
Tootin', snootin',
loop-a-loop hoop.
Don't fall for all that hoot.
Gotcha. You ain't
repeating that.
As a matter of fact,
don't be repeating
anything from anything.
You get lost more and more
from all what you have in here.
All those damn sing-alongs
you learned in school.
sh*t, you'd just repeat
and didn't even know
what you were singing.
Hell, next thing you know,
they'll tell you to jump off
the g*dd*mn London Bridge,
and you'll do it, just
'cause they said so.
Now, be a good boy and
go get me another cigar.
Hey, guys.
Just watching the sun come up.
Sometimes there's just
nothing to say, you know?
Isn't it beautiful?
Tootin',
snootin' loop-a-loop hoop.
Don't fall for all that hoot.
To help us better
understand the situation,
we turn to Secretary Glass.
You feeling okay?
Yeah. Why?
Nothing, just weird Live.
What's weird about the sunrise?
Nothing's weird about a sunrise.
You were, like, crying over
it. And also, "Hey, guys"?
Like, did you forget how the
Internet works or something?
Oh, sh*t.
You can't just misgender 50%
of your followers, Billy.
- They'll get you for that.
- sh*t.
...head
of the UN Council
who's here on the front lines
of America's response to
such an unbelievable horror.
Secretary Glass, good morning.
Good to have you during
this dark, dark time.
Is this really what you
put on in the morning?
Well, you see what's happening?
I can't take my eyes off of it.
I can't even.
- Who is it?
- It's Leonardo. Hey.
- What the f*ck, Billy?
- Jesus.
"Sometimes
there's nothing to say"?
These people are paying you a
f*cking fortune to say things.
That's exactly why
they're paying you.
I already received three phone
calls from the publisher.
Okay, I get it.
What is it that you get, Billy?
What do you get?
What do we do now?
I'm not gonna say it.
Oh, yes, you are.
I'm not gonna hang up
this phone until you say.
What do we do?
We give them what they want.
What they want. Exactly.
Thank you, Billy.
When are we meeting
about the book deal?
Um, the... the
meeting is pushed.
What?
I don't know.
It was something about
troops moving in.
They had to reschedule.
But this is exactly
what I'm saying, Billy.
Let's don't give
them any opportunity
to go cold feet on us,
not until we sign
on the dotted line.
Okay. I hear you.
Oh, good.
But what is it about
this misgender?
...of proportions
we can't even imagine.
The death toll is now
rising to 190,000.
No meeting?
It's rescheduled.
Hmm.
What's "Mm"?
- I just told you that was weird.
- It's not what it's ab...
It's about troop
movement or some...
I don't... It's not...
They don't care about that.
Don't be stupid, Billy.
Everyone cares about everything.
Come here.
No, they don't love me.
No one even knows what that is.
It'll happen, okay?
Don't worry. They all love you.
Just go back to doing
what you're best at.
Which is what?
Making their hearts race.
I was just trying to give
them something honest.
When do you care
about doing that?
Okay. I mean, I was just
trying to comfort you.
Why does the sun
go on shining
Why does the sea
rush to shore
Don't they know
It's the end of the world
'Cause you don't
love me anymore
Why do the birds
Oh, so you're just gonna
f*cking ignore me now?
Is that what we're
doing? Shut the f*ck up.
You could enjoy
this a little less.
What are you talking about?
I'm trying to tell you
that something is wrong,
that something feels wrong.
And you have this f*cking
grin on your face.
It's like you're relieved.
What? I'm...
What?
Patting me on the back
while you're texting?
You think that's supposed
to make me feel better?
I'm just trying to
f*cking comfort you.
- What?
- I don't know, Billy.
Comfort me by telling me
I'm a professional liar.
- That's supposed...
- I didn't say that.
I didn't even f*cking say that.
Cut the sh*t, Natalie.
Okay, I saw what you
were doing. You're...
I'm try... I'm trying to
accomplish something here.
I'm trying to get off
of people's phones.
A book deal gets us
to that next level,
and you can't even look at me
while we're f*cking
talking to each other.
It's like I'm interrupting
you or something.
So I'm sorry for bothering you
and interfering with the
stimulating f*cking conversation
- you were just having.
- Oh, f*ck you, Billy.
Figuring out how to split
the f*cking atom, I'm sure.
Where the f*ck did
this even come from?
All I've ever done is
try to support your a*s.
- You support me?
- Okay?
You support me as long as
there's a dinner to go to
or some celebrity to meet.
And then what do you do when
I introduce you to them?
You f*cking get drunk and f*cked
up, make a fool out of yourself,
and you burn every f*cking
bridge I try to set up for you.
Well, I am so sorry
we're not all as gifted
at bullshitting as you.
f*ck right you're not
as gifted as I am,
'cause if you were,
you'd be better at hiding
the fact that you like
when I get bad news.
It makes you feel f*cking equal.
Oh. God forbid I feel
equal to you, Billy.
That's not what I f*cking meant.
God forbid, the great
f*cking Billy Seldom,
who has sunrise meltdowns.
How could I ever compete?
I'm not trying to
compete with you.
I'm trying to share
this sh*t with you.
The good stuff and the
bad stuff together.
Well, that's what I'm
trying to do, too.
That's what you're trying...
You don't even share
the same bed with
me anymore, Natalie.
How long has that been, huh?
A couple weeks, some months?
That sound like a healthy
relationship to you?
Where the f*ck did this
come from, Billy, honestly?
- Oh, my God.
- I'm not
happy.
You think I'm happy?
Who's happy, Billy?
You think anyone's happy?
Listening to you scream the same
f*cking bullshit every weekend,
all year long.
The only difference is, I'm
not f*cking whining about it
and putting everything
that we've been working for
- in jeopardy.
- That we've been working for?
Yeah, f*ck right that
we've worked for.
- The f*ck?
- "We've"?
You wouldn't f*cking be
here without me, yeah.
Without my constant
push and my support
and posting and
reposting your sh*t.
Please. I am the only...
You're the on...
You're the only what?
Please give me that. I
need that. Only what?
Billy, no one knew who the
f*ck you were before me.
No one knew who you were. How
many followers did you have?
How many? A few thousand?
A few thousand, right?
You think people
actually give a sh*t
about what you
have to say, Billy?
They show up because they
think that I am the end result.
They show up because they think
that if they walk like you
and talk like you and wear
f*cking turtlenecks like you,
then they will end up with me.
I am the reason why you exist.
So let's f*cking drop this
sh*t, like, all of it, honestly.
And let's f*ck or
E or something.
God damn, keep doing what
the f*ck we've been doing,
because it's been working.
How about Thai?
It's not.
Italian?
No, it's not working anymore.
You should go.
Oh, shut up, Billy.
No, I'm serious.
Maybe you're right. Maybe...
Maybe the world does
revolve around you
or people like you.
But we're supposed to
revolve around each other.
And we don't.
It's my fault
because I don't know
what the f*ck I'm doing anymore.
Like, you act like... like
these things revolve around you
because they should.
Like it's some burden
that you have to carry around.
But it's not, Natalie.
It's just narcissism.
And it's f*cking boring,
and I don't want it anymore.
If I go, I'm gonna win.
You know?
I'm sure you will.
f*cking destroy
you online, so...
Do what you have to do.
You know what?
No, actually, no. f*ck you.
You get out. I'm staying.
- This is my place.
- It's my bed.
No sh*t.
You're really not gonna go?
No.
Okay.
Don't be here when I
get back.
Yeah, go thank for
your f*cking self.
as*h*le.
Narratives.
You're gonna deprogram,
you're gonna clear your slate,
you got to know your story.
What story are you in?
What's the narrative
that you tell yourselves
when you wake up in the morning?
We all do it.
Based off songs we hear,
you know, movies we see.
We've all seen Disney, right?
The prince saves the princess.
Two dogs make out over
a piece of spaghetti.
Happy ever after.
That's a good one.
Everyone loves that.
Don't put all your
eggs in one basket.
Slow and steady wins the race.
They never tell us
how these stories end.
The tortoise and the hare
go out to the bar after.
And spoiler alert, the
hare still gets the girl.
Why do you
think he's so tired?
We cling to these Hollywood
endings, these fantasies.
We get our expectations
way up here.
What happens when
we don't make them?
There are entire industries
devoted to what happens
when we don't make them.
Pharmaceutical industry.
Therapy industry.
Anyone in here a
child of divorce?
Yeah, a lot of you.
You can't trust anyone, right?
Least of all yourselves.
See a therapist.
Take a pill.
You know, people call us
Millennials, call us Gen Z.
Those are the ones
in the audience
whose ba*ls haven't dropped yet.
I call us the
blanket generation.
Because we can't do anything
without needing to
medicate afterwards,
without needing to roll up in
a blanket, find our safe place.
Why didn't you get your job?
"'Cause I was triggered."
And then what happened?
"My therapist told me..."
Blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah. I'm sick of it.
And I'm not saying
it's bad to seek help.
I'm not saying that
trauma doesn't happen.
Trauma happens to all of us.
Some of us when we're young,
before we even have any
tools to defend ourselves.
But someone out there
is eating your lunch.
Someone's getting that job.
Someone's f*cking
that girl or that guy.
Someone's making that money.
Someone's winning that game.
And all you guys care about is
having an understandable excuse.
Does anyone out here
know the difference
between genius and talent?
Anyone?
Talent is being great
at established things.
She plays Mozart beautifully.
He's lights out from
behind the line.
He knows pi to 600 digits.
That's talent.
But genius
is finding something
that no one on earth
has ever seen before,
and creating it from nothing.
Steve Jobs turned your
computer into a camera.
Isaac Newton got hit in
the head with the apple.
He invented calculus.
That's genius.
And everyone in this room
is a genius at something,
can do something that no one
else has ever seen before.
Our jobs are not to make money.
Our jobs are not the
house or the car.
Alright, our jobs while
you are on this rock
is to find out what that is.
What can you do that
no one else can?
You put all of your
eggs in that basket.
And you run as fast as you can.
Authenticity is the
truest form of currency.
And for some of you,
the most genius thing
that you can ever do
is figuring out how to
rewrite your own stories.
Narratives.
Know their power.
A curfew will
go into place tonight
at 8:00 p.m. local time.
Anyone out past curfew should
expect to face repercussions
as police attempt to
prevent instances of unrest.
So stay in, folks.
There you have it, folks.
Excuse me.
Miss.
Excuse me. Can I
have a seat, please?
It's them.
Huh?
What?
We're not miss.
I'm sorry.
Um, can I order
from you all or...
Plenty of booths around.
Okay, then. I guess
I'll just seat myself.
Excuse me, sir. No smoking here.
Put that away or go outside.
How do you know I'm a sir?
What do you want me to call you?
I would like you
to let me smoke.
And I would like
to work in a place
that doesn't give me cancer or
any other respiratory illnesses.
We can't get all
what we want, can we?
I-I'm just trying to...
Hey, Mr. Martini.
Who's following who?
I guess you caught me.
Yeah, the jig is up. Might
as well come and join me.
It's "whom."
Mm. Do you
know this place?
No, uh, I just came
to sit down for a bit.
You sleep at all?
I don't think I'd
call it that, exactly.
Well, this place is my favorite.
I come here every morning,
and they serve breakfast all
day, and coffee's pretty cheap.
So, what will it be?
Oh, just get me, um...
I don't know. What...
What's good here?
He'll... He'll get
the all-American.
Oh, so it is he, huh?
And a cup of coffee, please.
I'll take a refill, too.
- You can't smoke...
- You can't smoke in here.
Megan,
stop showing off.
It's so unbecoming.
Do I know you from somewhere?
No. No.
Megan.
f*ck off.
Geez. Remind me not to
get on your bad side.
I don't have a bad side.
They know me here. It's fine.
She just doesn't like
it when people do it.
So she says that to everybody.
I didn't figure you for a
waitress's worst nightmare.
Just her. It's kind
of fun, though, huh?
- What?
- Being surprised.
I didn't take you for
a Chianti kind of guy.
Please don't base anything
off of last night.
- I was...
- Not you?
Yeah.
And what about right now?
I thought you'd
order for yourself.
Isn't that kind of your thing?
Oh, my God. It is you.
Billy Seldom. Holy
sh*t. I follow you.
My friends are gonna
lose their sh*t.
Can we take a picture?
Yeah, sure.
Smile.
I'm going to be famous.
- Sorry about that.
- Must get annoying.
It's just kind of part
of it at this point.
Guess I asked for it, right?
What'd you get me, anyway?
You'll just have
to wait and see.
I know, Billy. Life is hard.
Or so we've been told over
and over and over again.
But you know, son,
there will come a time in your
life where nothing makes sense,
when everything that
you were told, thought,
became in your life,
none of it will
make sense to you.
And it will be that
moment in life, Billy,
where you will decide
who you really are.
You'll either become like them
or you will become like you.
It will be the most important
decision of your life.
It'll make you or break you.
Want to talk about it?
What?
Whatever turned the
guy I saw onstage
into the guy that
I saw last night
and that I'm seeing right now.
Not really. That's okay.
Of course. It might help
to talk it out, though.
Might need to use some of
that famous Seldom confidence
right about now.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
It's getting pretty
bad out there.
Well, I'm not in any position
to give anyone any
advice right now.
Now we're in the
age of celebrity.
These people have
become our gods.
Right?
Oh, no, you don't agree with me?
Let me ask you something.
When you wake up in the
morning, before you even pray,
what do you do?
You scroll, check out Instagram,
check out TikTok, right?
Yeah, it's Gram before God in
this country every morning,
worshiping these celebrities.
And you don't even know.
Buying their brands and
their image, stories.
Celebrities.
How many of you people
have met your idols
and wished you hadn't, huh?
'Cause they couldn't live
up to the expectations.
Isn't that a bummer?
Superficiality!
Celebrities feed and
breed on superficiality.
I'm supposed to be a celebrity.
You
believe that sh*t?
Yeah, I was interviewed
this morning by a woman.
You'd all recognize her
interviewer, news
anchor, whatever.
She called me the
face of the ideals
of a generation.
Why?
'Cause I could
sell out an arena.
'Cause I got all you in here?
God, th-the standard
it's not based on anything.
It's just based on who seems
like they're the one to
listen to at any given moment.
And we listen to these people
so we don't have to
listen to ourselves.
We stay up at night scrolling
for hours, losing sleep,
all so we can quiet the
voices in our heads.
Bad voices, gnarly voices
telling us all kinds of
f*cked-up sh*t about ourselves,
horror stories.
Eyes on the f*cking
ceiling that won't shut up.
Go away!
And that's how we end up giving
a sh*t about who got the rose
or who thought they could dance
or... or let's all chip in
and raise a million dollars
to watch some geriatric box
that guy from that thing.
What the f*ck is happening here?
What the f*ck is happening here?
Our standards out there
are based on the standards
that we create for ourselves.
We need to fix them.
And the way that we fix them
is by thinking f...
Why am I saying it? This
is your guys' f*cking job.
You say it. Three, two, one.
Think for yourself!
I try to act like I have
all my sh*t together.
Truth is, I'm just in the
same boat as everyone else.
I mean, I just
have a catchphrase,
slightly better poker face.
These people,
all of these people,
they... they expect me
to be this version of myself
that they want me to be, right?
Someone who will tell them
what they want to hear,
make him feel how
they want to feel.
It's like this...
It's like this monster
that I've created
that I c... I can't
come out from.
I was just trying to
help people, you know?
I was just trying to
give people confidence.
I was trying to make them
feel how they want to feel
and hear what they want to hear.
You can't trust feelings.
And you can't count on
anyone else.
You know, people hear
what they want to hear
and they see what
they want to see.
They say what they want to say,
and then they just leave
and forget about the rest.
I'm no... I'm no different.
I don't have any more
control over my sh*t.
I just... just a
f*cking hypocrite.
Well, you helped me and
you helped a lot of people.
That'll always be true.
Guess I'm just going through
a little existential crisis
right now.
Oh, poor William.
No one...
My mom used to call me William.
She passed away.
I was 6.
I'm so sorry to hear that.
What about your folks?
They still around?
Yeah.
They divorced when I was 12,
and that got me into
a pretty dark place.
I hated myself, and
I hated everyone.
And then I, um, realized
we're all in the same boat
and we keep selling the same
story, and it's all bullshit.
You know, we keep telling
our self the same thing,
kind of like you're
doing right now.
And I can't believe the person
who says all those things
onstage is sitting right here
and he can't even
take his own advice.
I don't get it.
Well, our own advice is the
toughest advice to take, right?
So then let me give it to you.
What you do is valuable,
and people need to hear it.
Especially with everything
that's going on out there.
And where you have it
wrong is that you think
you need to be this
as*h*le to be independent,
but you can still
think for yourself.
You just have to
lean on other people.
That's never been
how it is for me.
Well, you're leaning on
me. Don't you feel better?
Looks good.
Give me your phone.
Text me if you need a reminder.
You say your mind is rushed
I feel that mine is empty
And I'm crushed
I'm crushed
I know all the ways I can
You know all the
ways I can't be
So I'm crushed
Yeah, I am crushed
You played up all
your innocence
And I downplayed experience
And I can't believe
I got so dumb
And led myself
To think a kiss is love
Yeah, I'm crushed
Being lost, son, we
all go through that
at some point in life.
But like I said, that's
where you'll find yourself
or just follow the crowd.
But you know, Billy, if you stay
lost, the longer you're gone,
the closer you are to
your own destruction.
Don't ever stay lost too long,
or else it'll be the
end of you, Billy boy.
I fell onto the beach
With everybody's envy
It doesn't matter
'cause I am crushed
Yeah, I am crushed
In my words I am alone
In your silence
you resent me
I am crushed
Yeah, I am crushed
This just in.
You played up all
your innocence
...to address the
current state of affairs
seen across the country.
Experience
So, this
is the new normal.
This is what we expect
as we move forward
into uncharted territory.
Turn that off.
Missed you, too.
I'm gonna shower.
Hey, are you gonna
post tonight or what?
This is, like, the
longest you've been MIA
from your social.
...in some
of the larger cities.
But unfortunately...
Yeah. Yeah.
How could I forget?
For your f*cking self, Billy.
And about earlier,
I forgive you.
What?
I forgive you.
Be right out.
I forgive you.
Did I miss something?
I didn't apologize.
Well, I forgive
you for that, too.
But I can think of a few ideas
for you to make it up to me.
No.
Let's just kiss and make up.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I meant what I said.
I mean,
you were upset.
We both were upset.
But I meant it.
You should go.
There's nothing more to say.
Nothing?
Okay.
Good evening, everyone.
Sorry it's been a quiet
day, but it was a long one.
Let me try and
read some of these.
"Cheers from Australia."
G'day, my Aussie
mates. Let's see.
"I love you, Giuseppe."
Ciao, Giuseppe.
You know, my agent's Italian.
I should put you guys in touch.
Give you guys a second
while you all tune in.
Here we are.
Here we are.
You know, for a long time,
you guys have all been
listening to me tell
you think for yourself,
find yourself,
you know, look out for yourself,
f*ck everyone else, right?
You've all thought
probably that that comes
from a place of
strength, confidence.
That's good. I hope you do,
'cause I want you
to be confident.
But I have been thinking today.
What I've learned is
that that has never come
from a place of
confidence for me.
No.
No, for me, it has always
come from a place of fear.
You're selfish, and
you should be afraid.
#Canceled.
Sorry. I just want to check
that that's my girlfriend.
Shut the f*ck up.
Or should I say ex-girlfriend?
What are we now, baby?
Yeah, I'm afraid, guys.
This is an age of
fear and anger.
At least that's what it seems
like everybody wants us to feel,
right, the news, social media.
Everybody's going f*cking crazy.
Don't you guys ever get tired
of staring at your phones?
Huh? Don't you ever get tired
of listening to me talk?
Blah, blah, blah,
blah every day.
More, more, more,
more, more, more, more.
'Cause you're f*cking terrified
of being with yourselves
for one f*cking second.
One second of quiet.
Truth is, if any of you guys
ever did think for yourselves,
your f*cking heads
would explode.
None of you can
even wipe your a*s
without someone telling
you how to do it.
You say, "Billy, how do I do it?
Billy, give me strength.
Billy, tell me what to do."
Now you f*cking...
f*ck off!
Cancel me.
I'm afraid.
I'm afraid of not posting.
I'm afraid that if I
post... something wrong
or if I don't post, then
you guys will go away.
Maybe you'll forget
about me. Maybe...
Maybe you won't even
remember who I am.
I'm not afraid anymore.
So there's not gonna
be any more from Billy.
I tried to be one
encouraging voice
in this cacophony of
anger and pain and chaos.
And it hasn't made a
f*cking difference, has it?
No.
It all just swirls down
the same bowl together.
So I don't care what you
do. You can unfollow me.
You can unfriend me.
You can cancel me.
I don't give a sh*t.
At least maybe that's something
you can all do together.
What the f*ck?
Now there's nothing else to say.
Are you
f*cking stupid?
Ah! Leonardo.
- What can I do for you, Leo?
- Or not do.
Billy. Billy, tell me you know
what the f*ck you just did.
Tell me you know it.
- No clue.
- Yeah, I think I do.
Billy, the world is a f*cking
sensitive and cynical place.
How do we recover from this?
There's no turning back.
Billy, I thought we
had something good.
So did I.
It was sh*t.
But it wasn't.
What do you mean, it wasn't?
It wasn't good.
Billy, I'm gonna
have to let you go.
I know.
Billy?
Billy.
Sorry.
Sorry. Where was I?
Now, when you start to
make all these changes,
one of the things you have
to prepare yourself for
is people's perception of you.
'Cause the first side effect,
when you start thinking
for yourselves,
people will call you selfish,
call you an as*h*le,
say you've changed.
Don't listen.
It's just fear.
These people are projecting
their fear onto you
with their insecurities
and their anxieties
'cause they want to
keep you where they are.
They're lost, they want you
to be just as lost as them.
They think that they're saving
the world by agreeing with it.
Keeping the ship right side up.
Staying safe, staying protected.
And then here you come along
saying no, doing what you want,
thinking for yourself.
You say, "Well, no,
maybe I don't agree."
Or, "Yeah, that's an
interesting point,
but maybe I'll come
to my own conclusions
about whether I want
to spend my mornings
cooking sourdough
bread in my kitchen."
You'll see.
These friends, these family
members, these co-workers,
they will lose their sh*t.
They'll call you names.
They'll call you selfish.
But when you start
thinking for yourself,
you come to know yourself.
When you do that, you
find that that person,
that version of you
can start to accomplish
meaningful things,
because they will
find meaning in them.
So be genius!
Be selfish!
Take no prisoners!
And suffer no fools!
Go out there and get started!
Thank you!
Well, you have almost
lost 500,000 followers.
And now #CancelBilly is trending
right along #WorldlsOver.
I don't care.
I've had it. I
don't give a sh*t.
Just get the f*ck out of here!
Excuse me?
Leave! Please.
Oh, so you're gonna kick me out
right as the world
is shutting down?
I will give you one guess
what my advice to you will be.
If I go, this is it.
Heard you the first time.
You're such a f*cking
selfish as*h*le!
Don't go.
Please don't.
God damn it!
Come on in, son.
Hi, sweetie.
Promise me
you'll listen to your father.
Promise me
you'll never lose
what's in here.
An increase in
unprecedented violence
following what seems
to be a horrid attack
on the free world,
triggering agonizing debate
about freedom of
speech and liberty.
Shut the f*ck up!
You said every morning.
You're a good listener.
Well, I just wanted to
tell you in person, uh,
thanks for yesterday.
I-I really needed to hear that.
Anytime.
Is everything okay, though?
'Cause that was a very
interesting Live last night.
Yeah.
Um...
I'm gonna head out of
town for a little while.
I should be back in a
couple days, I think.
But I would love to see you.
Well, you know where to find me.
Yeah.
As we saw, today
was a turning point.
Yes, the
beginning of the end.
The
beginning of the end.
It's been a while, son.
Yeah.
It h... It has.
Come on, let's walk.
You got a cigarette?
Yeah.
Good. Now throw that sh*t away.
What, you don't smoke anymore?
Cigars, Billy boy, cigars, not
those damn tiny cigarettes.
Okay.
Those cigarettes, son...
Those damn things are
just a propaganda machine.
You know, there was
a time when doctors
would tell pregnant
women to smoke cigarettes
in order to relax more.
Hell, they'd even smoke
them in the doctor's office
when they were there
for their checkups.
Nowadays, it would be unheard of
for an expectant mother
to do such a thing.
Okay, I get it.
I-I get it.
You know, son, I've
seen your talks,
your interviews.
Seems to me you're
doing just fine.
I seem fine to you?
Was it something I said?
What didn't you say?
I don't follow you, son.
Everything I know about the
world and about how it works,
I got that from you.
Okay, but I go out there and
I tell it to everyone else,
and they love me for it and
they think it's coming from me.
But it's not, alright?
Those aren't my words.
Those are your words.
I wake up every day and I
feel like sh*t because I'm...
I'm not being honest.
Do you have any idea
what that's like?
Wake up every day and
feel like a fraud?
You told me all this stuff.
You jammed it down my throat.
But you never gave
me any opportunity
to go out there and
find it out for myself.
I know, son.
I may have overstepped
when it came to telling
you about the world.
Losing your mother
that was hard.
I had to make sure you were
ready for what was out there.
You know, I wanted
to be your father,
but also, I also had to make
up for her not being here.
I'm... I'm not
here for a lecture.
Okay, I don't want to
hear your... your ideas
or your thoughts or your musings
about cigarettes in the '50s.
That's not why I
came here. I j...
I could use your help.
Well
what do you want to do?
Okay.
You say your mind is rushed
I feel that mine is empty
And I'm crushed
I'm crushed
I know all the ways I can
You know all the
ways I can't be
So I'm crushed
Yeah, I am crushed
You played up all
your innocence
And I downplayed experience
And I can't believe
I got so dumb
And led myself
To think a kiss is love
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Mindwash (2024)
Moderators: Maskath3, GabrielAlejo2341, sidolanters, Maskath3, GabrielAlejo2341, sidolanters