Dreaming of You (2024)

[bunniefuu]

[crash]

[garbage disposal]

[water droplet]

[sink squeaks]

[sigh]

All right, Miles.

Just go to sleep.

Go to sleep.

Stop talking to yourself

and just go to sleep.

Maybe I'll count sheep.

Okay.

One.

Two.

Nice try. That's a goat.

Doesn't count.

Three.

Faaa, this isn't working.

Maybe some white noise.

Some nice calming rain.

[rain sounds]

Some rain that's gonna make

all the sheep wet and smell bad.

And you know what? Forget it.

Forget it. Forget it.

[sigh]

You know, of all the

things to be bad at,

why do I have to be

bad at sleeping?

[Title Music Begins]

Staring into the darkness

Sometimes I go blind

Dancing with demons

I make up in my mind

Maybe it's true

I have an issue or two

When I do close my eyes...

Dreaming of you

Staring into the darkness

Sometimes I go blind

Dancing with demons

I make up in my mind

Maybe it's true

I have an issue or two

When I do close my eyes....

Dreaming of You

When I do close my eyes...

[Sinister bells chime]

[a heartbeat echoes]

[eerie music]

[growls]

[heartbeat quickens]

[growls]

Wake up!

[gasps]

[breathes heavily]

[sliding noise]

[pen scratching]

[deep breath]

[laughs]

I, I like your pajamas.

Oh, thank you very much.

Figured I better dress

for the job at hand today.

To-Tonight.

Plus, you got to rep the

polar bears while they're

still around. You know?

Plus...

they're really good at

breaking the ice.

[laughs]

I am so sorry.

That was the cheesiest

thing I have ever done.

Ever will do.

And, well, at least I hope

I ever will do. Um, I...

I am Miles.

Ren.

Pleasure to meet you, Ren.

Polar bear line was not

something I planned,

by the way.

Umm. No yeah, I figured.

I mean, only a psychopath

or serial k*ller would come here

to pick up women.

I am neither, luckily.

Just a little nervous

energy on my part.

Well, I wouldn't worry

too much.

It sounds like the easiest

possible test to take.

True. True. True.

So, what are you in for, Ren?

Unless you don't want to say.

Of course.

Sleep apnea.

Ah, what's that?

Sometimes when I'm

sleeping, I forget how

to breathe.

-Oh, yeah, that's important.

-[Ren laughs]

-Glad you're here.

-Yeah, you know, it just

slips my mind. What can I say?

-[Miles laughs]

And yourself?

General nightmare,

tomfoolery and

sleep paralysis.

Sometimes my mind wakes up

before the rest of my body

and I can't move at all.

Oh, well, not fun?

I'm used to it at this point.

But recently, and now

this is very interesting,

I've been getting

sleep paralysis,

plus, a shadow demon

crawling up

my body while I'm still

half asleep and

can't move.

I'm sorry.

A what?

A sleep demon,

dream hallucination. Yeah.

Absolutely terrifying.

As it sounds.

Yeah.

Okay, not to freak you out

even more, Miles,

but um...

Are you sure it's

a hallucination?

[Ren laughs]

And you have successfully

freaked me out just a little

bit more, Ren.

I'm so sorry.

Thank you.

We're ready for you, Mr. Puck.

Oh, great grand and amazing.

It was nice meeting you, Ren.

And I hope you remember

to breathe.

Maybe, like, tie a string around

your finger. I don't know.

Just throwing stuff out there.

Hmm. Well, good luck with

your sleep demon, Miles.

And maybe wear a

crucifix or something.

I mean, I don't know,

just throwing stuff out there.

[nurse] Now, those might be

a little uncomfortable,

but it is of the utmost

importance that you

keep them on.

You understand?

Okay.

Who's that?

That's Kip Van Winkle.

We let the kids sleep with

him when they're

feeling anxious.

He wards off bad dreams.

Helps kids feel brave.

[thud]

Hope you're good at

your job, Kip.

Definitely don't need

another bad dream.

[wind blowing]

[panting]

[growling]

[heavy panting]

[growling]



[tearing sound]

[panting continues]



[grunting]

[snarling]

Okay.

I'll say it.

They aren't very nice.

[Miles] Kip, can't you reason

with them?

Oh, I wish I could, but I

took three years of

polar bear in high school,

and the only thing I

remember how to say is,

"is anyone hungry?"

And I think we already

know the answer to that.

[Polar bear growls]

Luckily for me,

they only eat meat.

Wait, what happened

to your pillow?

I threw it at the polar bears

to slow 'em down.

Oh, no! Now, they have

a taste for fluff!

Please try and focus, Kip.

Just look around for

something to get us out

of this mess

because this is

NOT looking good!

Wait.

I think I see something

frozen in that iceberg.



It's a girl.

Well, that's very interesting,

but not pertinent at this time.

We have to help her, Kip!

We are about to be eaten

alive by polar bears,

and you're thinking with your

wiener because you see

a pretty girl.

I like where your

priorities are!

Now, we need a plan.

Ummm... Uh...

[chimes]

[cracking noise]

[chimes]



[sizzling]

[sizzling continues]

-[slushing sound]

-[thud]

Oh, my gosh!

You saved her!

I did, didn't I?

[growling]

Oh, my gosh!

You k*lled her!

What?

You thought she was cute,

so you k*lled her!

-No!

-That's some real serial k*ller

type crap!

Maybe if I...

[beaming sound]

[growling]

[sizzling]

[cracking]

[roaring]

Genius!

Use global warming

against them!

Their one true weakness!

I did it! I broke the ice.

I mean, I like to think of it

as a team effort, but okay.

-[ice cracks]

-Uh-oh.

[bubbling sound]

[chimes and growls]

[gasps]

So, last night was a

good testing night.

We clocked a couple of

anomalies throughout

your study.

It was one of those

anomalies when I got up to

fight a shadow monster

that wasn't there?

Because if not, I'd like to

politely suggest we jot

that part down.

Don't worry, that part is

well documented,

but we can talk

about treatment.

Would nightlight do the trick?

Unfortunately, not.

You know, from your results,

we believe

that all your symptoms are

caused by stress and anxiety.

Your mind is working

itself up so much that

you're creating an

adrenaline spike,

sending you into

fight or flight mode.

A little bit of a vicious cycle,

considering this is very

much stressing me out.

Well, my recommendation

would be to try to break

that cycle.

Find things to help you relax.

Look, there's medication.

I don't have health insurance.

Okay.

Alright.

Something else I want

you to do is keep a

dream journal.

Now, a lot of your dreams

may be manifestations

of the things that are

causing your anxiety.

So see if any patterns emerge.

Finding out these things is

the first step to taking action

to relieve some of your stress.

Okay. Keep a dream journal

and try and chillax

every now and then.

[nurse] Yep.

I can do that.

Okay.

And if it gets worse,

I want you to reach

out for help.

You understand?

[car approaching]

[breaks squeaking]

Hey, demon slayer.

How'd the match go?

Kicked my a*s as always.

And how was your session

this slumber party?

Apparently, I need to buy a

CPap machine to wear at night.

So now I'm going to be a

mixture of Sleeping Beauty

and Darth Vader.

You know, as these things go,

I'm not a terrible mash up.

Mmm, still not super excited

about it oddly enough.

But hey, do you need a ride?

Ah, nah, I'm all good.

But appreciate the offer.

You sure? I have sleep apnea,

not narcolepsy.

Now, my ride's, like,

five minutes away,

and you might not want to

risk my demon switching hosts.

Hmm, good point there.

Okay, well,

sweet dreams Miles.

[Carter] You absolute moron.

What was I supposed

to do, Carter?

You were, like,

five minutes away.

Uh, ghost me. Leave with her.

Just a couple of options.

Send me a text that says,

"My deepest apologies, Carter,

but a cute girl has offered

me a ride home

and she has boobs

while you don't."

I would have loved to

get that text!

I also didn't want to

inconvenience her for

just being polite.

Just being polite?

Yeah. Being nice.

You cannot tell me that

that's all you thought that was!

From the way that you

describe it, it sounds like you

guys were quipping up a storm

in there.

Snappy patter and

sparks just flying.

I'm sorry I even

brought her up.

At least you got her

number right?

-No...

-You...

I'm going to k*ll you, man.

I mean, it wasn't

the right time.

You don't speak!

It was medical!

You don't speak, Miles!

Your sleep paralysis demon

wingmanned you!

Helped you!

For once!

And you spat in his

dumb, spooky face.

I hope he murders you

in your sleep tonight.

[thud]



[lamp clicks]

[box thudding]

[clanking]



[clanking]

[sifting sounds]



Okay, Miles, you dropped the

ball because your ba*ls

never dropped.

But Detective Carter is

here to solve the case

of your mystery

sleep gasper.

I'm a little lost on what

this bit you're doing is.

Keep up. Your future wife.

I'm going to find her online.

Wow. You don't drop anything.

-[book slams]

No, I don't. What's her name?

Ren.

Ren what?

I don't know.

Do you want to die alone?

Okay, Ren's not that

common of a name,

so it'll probably be fine.

And she probably lives

relatively close to this

sleepy place.

We don't know that.

Bup bup bup!

Who's the detective

here, Miles?

No one here is a detective.

Detective Carter is the

detective. Okay?

Is she cute?

Yes.

Then this isn't her.

And if it was, I don't approve.

You're not going to find her.

Is this her?

-Yeah, that's her.

-Ha ha ha.

Detective Carter

earns his Ph.D.

Detectives aren't doctors.

Young Miles, now we get to

move on to the fun part.

Come on, dude. I don't want to

stalk a random girl I met in

a waiting room.

You don't have to

because I will.

Ren Helena.

Single.

Interested in men.

Good signs for you, buddy!

Although, with the confounded

hookup culture of the youths

today,

you just can't really

guarantee either of

those are exclusively true.

More digging.

This feels really creepy, man.

It is a little creepy.

Okay. Okay.

Good signs thus far.

She seems to be interested in

nature documentaries, at least

the animal stuff.

No signs of n*zi ism.

Dude, I think, uh-oh.

What?

Looks like we have

competition.

Two months ago.

"I'm so lucky to have this guy

always by my side."

Tagged Leo Oberon.

Well, there you have it.

She has a boyfriend.

That could be her brother or

cousin, or it could be a sassy

g*y best friend, too.

Don't rule that out.

That is clearly a

boyfriend brag.

So, we can rest easy just

knowing she was

only being nice.

You should still friend her.

No. I shouldn't.

Well, I just did.

Come on, dude.

No, no, no.

Ren is my best friend now,

and I am going to set her up

with another friend of mine,

because that's what

good friends do.

Okay, bye.

[door clanks shut]

[thuds]



[scratches from the walls]

Carter!

The rats are in

the walls again!

-[scratching]

-[smacking]

[scratching continues]



[scratching noises]

No, no, no.

Stop being creepy.

[scratching]

[scratching]

[roaring]

[elephant trumpets]

-[engine idles]

-[breaks squeaking]

[Miles] The map says we should

go on foot from here.

And I have a feeling this is

where we're going to run

into her again, Kip.

The great hunter, prowls

the savannah, stalking his prey,

biding his time,

creeping up on his target.

Slowly, but methodically.

Kip.

Sorry. Just setting the mood.

And I'm not stalking anyone.

Okay?

Okay, okay.

Gotcha.

Good.

[African tribal music]

The lonely male prowls the

grasslands looking for a mate.

Animal urges raging.

Ready to pounce, but only if

it's consensual with his prey.

What?

[British accent] Adventurer

Miles!

'Tis I Detective Carter!

A pleasure to see you,

old chap.

Looking for that girl with

whom you broke the ice

I take it?

I just want to make

sure she's okay.

Don't buy it.

Not stalking, wink, wink.

Well, don't fret, sweat,

or lose hope, my pet!

I, Detective Carter, will

help you find her.

How are you going to do that?

Elementary, my dear

Van Winkle!

We shall consult the great

well of knowledge.

The basin of information

about everyone.

The Face-Brook.

I'm sorry.

Did you just say

the face...brook?

I am the mighty Face-Brook!

I am the place for babbling,

streaming and catfishing.

All gaze upon me for I control

your self worth!



Hello, Mr. Face-Brook.

My name is Miles...

I know who you are Miles

Puck from Media,

Pennsylvania!

My knowledge is vast

and invasive.

You are a single male and

you have been single for

three years!

I don't know if we need

to bring that up.

Your Aunt Joanne wants

you to know

she is very proud of you!

Ummm. Thanks.

She also hates black people!

Okay, we're getting really

off topic here!

Oh, mighty Face-Brook,

we're looking for a woman

by the name of Ren Helena.

Is this the person you seek?

Yeah, that's her!

Would you like to see

her in a bikini?

What? No!

Oh, come on, you

creepy stalker.

-You know, you want to!

-I don't...

I see you peeking!

You know what?

This is weird.

Wait, I have an urgent

message for you.

Okay? What is it?

Dudes you never hung out

with from high school

started a band.

Do you want to follow them?

No.

Oh, so you only stalk

pretty girls in bikinis?

I see how it is.

That's it! Forget this.

Everyone from your

hometown is getting

married except for you!

Why did I even go

to the Face-book?

All it did was make me upset.

I think that's secretly

why people like it.

Heard you were creeping

on Ren, you creep!

All right, now, who are you?

I'm Leo, and she's so lucky

to have me always

by her side.

You're not by your

side right now.

Shut up, bear!

Guys, get in here!

[growling]

Who are all of you?

This is my pride.

Oh, good.

He is just the sassy,

g*y best friend.

Wrong there, bud.

[Face-brook] Kick his a*s, Leo!

Everyone, get these creeps!

-[growling]

-[Miles] Ah!

[gasps with heavy panting]

[phone buzzing]

[sighs]

[chuckles]

[Miles] So, Vanya, last time we

spoke, we talked about looking

at other websites

to, you know, get us

started in that direction.

Yes, I didn't do that.

[chuckles]

I want our website to be

new, daring and different.

Yeah, no,

I totally understand that.

But actually, I can bring up a

couple of my old projects

and we can pick and choose

elements from those.

You know what I want to do?

I want to use those funny

pictures, those little...

You mean memes?

Yes, memes!

I want to use the memes!

Teenagers love memes.

I mean, I can build you a

meme section...

No, I want the home page.

I want to reel them in.

Okay, you know I have

so many that I've saved.

Let me just...

Miles, do we have a

new mutual friend?

Did you say something?

Nah, I'm just...

just looking at the code.

[Vanya] Okay, well, this one

might be a little too non-PC,

[Vanya laughs]

so I'm not going to

share this one.

Okay, this one's good.

[Carter whispering] I don't

trust you.

[Vanya] This one's good.

This one is too

sexual for this.

For the website.

I realize that. I can tell.

[slams]

This one maybe not

sexy enough.

This one's not sexy enough for

the website.

[whispers] Message her!

Okay. I sent you one

that's really good.

Did you get it?

Hilarious, Vanya.

Yeah, I know. It looks terrible,

Dave, but, you know,

I can't go against

what the client asked for,

and I guess what the client

asked for is gaudy.



Papyrus.

I didn't choose it, Dave!

Okay. Yeah. No, I'll change it.

I'll work on it tonight.

And this weekend. Yes.

Okay. Bye.

God, you're a d*ck.

Not that I had anything

else to do tonight.



I got to work.

Really need to focus.

Screw it.

[ding]

Hey there, Princess Vader.

How's sleeping with your

new facial accessory?

Wow, that was so dumb.

Yeah. Good job, Miles.

Bring up her

medical condition.

Smooth like sandpaper.

[ding]

[chair rattles]

Supposedly, I'm going to get

used to it, but for now,

it kind of feels like an

octopus giving me CPR all

night.

[ding]

Honestly, they make

the best lifeguards.

[ding]

Unless you're

allergic to seafood.

[ding]

True.

But that could be a plus if

you were trying to k*ll

yourself by drowning.

That was weird to say.

That was weird and dark.

[ding]

If that's your criteria

for good lifeguards,

then you should really look

into these creatures

called "sharks".

[ding]

Oh, do tell me more about

these "sharks."

They sound like great

babysitters for my

troop of baby seals.

-[clock ticking]

-[ding]

Oh, definitely.

They always show

up with a smile,

and they have a lot of

experience with

schools of fish.

-[ding]

-Well, that's good.

My last babysitter was a

k*ller whale and that did not

work out.

-[clock ticking]

-[ding]

If only there were some

indication in the name to warn

you of what they're capable of.

-[clock ticking]

[ding]

HAHAHA

In my defense, his resume

only said K Whale,

so I assumed his

name was Kevin.

-[clock ticking]

-[ding]

Hey, sorry for the delays.

My social media notifications

aren't showing up for

some reason.

But yeah, I totally get that.

Every whale I've ever known

has been named Kevin.

[clock ticking]

[ding]

Oh, you just want

to text some time?

My number is BEEEEEEP.

[ding]

Yeah, actually,

that'd be easier.

My number is BEEEEEP.

That didn't go too poorly.

A little more nautical

than I was expecting, but...

not too bad at all.

All right, back to work.

Hey, Vanya, I just got your

email about not being happy

with the new changes.

You want it to be more red.

And green?

Like Christmas?

No, it's not a

seasonal thing, Dave.

They're just like

her favorite colors.

Yeah. No, I can change it.

You wanted to play

Gangnam Style as soon

as you enter the site.

I'm sorry, Dave.

I didn't know you felt

that strongly about K-Pop.

Oh, no, I didn't know you

made your own music.

She calls it country

jazz, Dave.

[phone buzzes]

[Miles groans]

[phone buzzes]

[message pops]

Found your new babysitter.

His name's Bruce, not Kevin.

[message pops]

Finally, some good news.

I needed that.

The last few days

have been terrible.

[message pops]

[message pops]

Oh no. What happened?

Just work stuff.

The client has her taste buds

in her feet

and my boss doesn't want

the company's reputation

to be tarnished with her vision.

So, I just can't win.

[message pops]

I build websites, by the way,

just for context.

[message pops]

[message pops]

That sucks.

Bosses and clients suck.

[message pops]

You are preaching to the

choir, but sorry for bitching.

How was your day?

[message pops]

Hey, never apologize

for bitching.

It's a pastime in my family.

[message pops]

My day was good up until

my dryer died with all my

laundry in it while I was in

the shower.

So now I don't have a towel

and I'm walking around

naked trying to air dry.

[spits]

[message pops]

Yeah...

Dryers suck.

[message pops]

Seems super late to

be showering though.

[message pops]

Oh, I always shower at night.

If you take a really hot shower

then go into a cool room,

it helps you fall asleep.

As a fellow bad sleeper,

I highly recommend it.

[message pops]

I'll have to try it out

another time.

Unfortunately, I have a lot of

work to do tonight, so eh.

[message pops]

Then get back at it, Miles.

No rest for you.

Go build that awful website.

Your support is all I needed

to get through this, Ren.

Now, I got this.

Yeah, I got this.

Kind of...

[computer beeping noises]



[water bubbling]



[Kip] Captain Puck.

We have a visual on

the target sub.

Communication lines are up.

[Miles] Fantastic news,

first mate. Kip!

Now we can find out if she's

20,000 seas out of your league.

[Miles] Just keep steering,

second mate Kip.

[Kip] Yeah, that's fair.

[Mores Code beeping]

[expl*si*n]

[expl*si*n]

She's using

messaging torpedoes!

Kip, ready a response!

Readying a reply, Captain!

[expl*si*n]

Well done, Kip!

End with a question to

keep the dialog going.

[expl*si*n]

[expl*si*n]

She's naked?

This is not a drill, people!

She's naked!

If we play this right,

we might see boobies!

[Slap]

Simmer down, Van Winkle!

We just started talking.

We need to play it cool.

Okay. Gotcha.

Hold the d*ck pic!

We're playing it cool!

[crowd] Awww!

[clang]

[expl*si*n]



She's not responding,

Captain.

Oh, man, we didn't give

her anywhere to go!

We need to double torpedo!

Double torpedo?

But that's not playing it cool!

There's no time to argue, Kip!

The longer we wait,

the worse it'll be.

Just send

something out there!

[expl*si*n]

Oh, no!

We went way too

far with that torpedo!

She's totally going

to be mad at us!

I'm sorry!

I got caught up

in the moment.

It's okay, Kip.

We were excited.

Now the only thing

we can do is wait.

[water bubbling]

[Kip] We [beep] up.

Wait! She's loading

another torpedo!

You're right!

I see it being loaded.

Finally.

[expl*si*n]

[chomping clank]

Holy crap!

It's a shark!

Kip, get us out of here!

[beeping]

He's right on our tail!

We need to go faster!

I'm giving her all

she's got, Captain!

This is not good!

Oh, no!

We have a problem

up ahead, Captain!

What?

[Kip] Baby seals!

We don't have time for this!

Kip, launch the torpedoes!

[clanking jaws chomping]

[explosions]

[Kip] Out of the way, Kevin!

Sorry...

[clanking jaws chomping]

[Kip] Captain, it's a dead end!

[Ren] Do a loop for me.

[Miles] Excuse me?

[Ren] Do a loop or else I'll eat

you.

[Miles] Okay.

We'll do a loop!

[beeping]

No!

Don't do a loop.

Flip. Flip or else

I'll eat you.

Yeah, we'll flip.

[beeping]

Don't flip. Loop.

Don't loop. Flip.

No! Loop!

No! Flip!

I don't know what

we're supposed to do.

Wait. I think I have an idea.

[beeping]

[both] No!

That didn't work at all!

Now, neither is happy!

What do we do, Captain?

I don't know. I...

I just don't know.

If I do anything,

I'm in trouble...

[Morse code beeping]

Can I do nothing?

I just...

I want to do nothing...

Just nothing...

[bell gongs]

[eerie music]

[growls]

[growls]

Get to work!

[clattering]

[heavy panting]

Oh, sh*t!

[door opens]

[keyboard clicking]

Dude dude dude dude.

Come on.

My laptop is going to

be in the shop all day.

I mean, don't have all the

programs and assets I need,

but I think I can fake enough

of it to make it seem like

I'm still working to my boss.

Or you could tell him you

don't have a computer.

He will fire me.

No question about that.

He fired the guy who

couldn't get the job done

the weekend his mom died.

And his mom was like

straight up m*rder*d.

Maybe instead of

pretending to work during

this forced time off,

you could use it to ask out

the girl you've been texting.

How?

I spent all my money on

the sleep study and

fixing my laptop.

Uhh, invite her to a movie.

Here.

She'll just think

I'm trying to make a move.

Oh, how terrible!

The girl you wanna make a

move on thinks you wanna

make a move on her!

[chuckles]

You're not going to get anywhere

with that attitude, man. For

real.

And look,

if she shows up

with a CPAP machine,

you know she's totally down.

[door closes]

[message pops]

Hey,

I promise not to make

a move on you,

but if you're free tonight...

Hey, your roommate

said to find you here.

Yeah, this is kind of

like my office.

Please come in.

Weirdly, I think I got a random

friend request from him,

like, two days ago.

Oh, that's super weird.

I don't know

anything about that.

But I set up the projector,

made some popcorn

to prepare...

the perfect movie night.

[eerie music]

You aren't going to

m*rder me, right?

Wasn't planning on it.

Good. Because I told my

friends where I am and they

expect me to check in.

Wait. Really?

Yes, really.

We've only just texted and

we met because you

hallucinated demons.

You could very well be

a serial k*ller for all I know.

And a lot of this

stuff is really creepy.

That is a solid point.

All right. Fine.

Movie can wait.

Let's get to know each other.

So what do you want to know?

How and why did you

accumulate all this junk?

Ah, that would be

my uncle, Carter's stepdad.

He was a weird dude

and an insane alcoholic.

Died about a year ago.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Ah, don't be.

He died doing what he loved.

Absolutely ruining

Thanksgiving.

-[chuckles]

-But,

you know, he left

Carter this house

and Carter is letting me

stay here as I, you know,

try and get my life together.

Save some money and stuff.

As for the junk...

we don't know what's

in half of these boxes.

And at this point,

we're kinda too afraid to check.

So your housing could be gone

as soon as this place sells?

Ah, yes, indeedy.

But my turn for a question.

Okay.

What is your current job

and goal future job?

Two parter.

Currently, I'm working as an

assistant at a fancy

schmancy salon and spa.

Cool.

I clean up pubes and toenails.

Ew.

But I am training to

be a masseuse,

so I'll be able to rub

down rich old ladies

while they complain about

dealing with the help.

Oh, and don't get them

started on planning vacations.

What a chore.

Oh, I totally feel for them.

Okay, next question.

Why do you see

monsters sometimes?

I don't know if we need

to get into all of that.

Really?

Because I'm super interested

in what causes that to happen.

Okay, um,

let's just say sometimes I

think about things too much

and it messes with my sleep.

Things like m*rder?

Nah small things.

Give me one example.

Okay. Driving.

Driving?

Yeah. I don't know why.

I just can't stand driving.

Sometimes when I know

I need to drive somewhere,

I just can't stop worrying

about getting into an accident.

So I avoid it almost

any time I can.

As someone who personally

loves to drive, that does

seem really weird.

It's weird to me, too.

Okay. What else?

Oh, no, no, no.

You said one example. One.

And I usually like to keep this

stuff buried deep deep

down like a big boy.

Oh, well, that doesn't

seem healthy,

but I think you have proven

to me that you aren't

a serial k*ller. So...

you've earned a date night.

And I could drive us

to our next date...

If there is one.

[broom falls behind them]

What was that?

Probably just the rats.

Ignore em.

Calling it now.

That dude's going to die.

Her boobs...

Totally fake.

This is a trick shot. Okay.

You sure?

Hundred percent.

Oh, my God.

Absolutely terrible.

Blind people would've

looked away from that

train wreck.

I'm sorry. This is a family

friendly sport.

Please no smack talk.

Look, I'm not, like, knocking

her knockers, but, like,

I'm just pointing it out.

Like a fun fact.

Boom. Totally called it.

Yeah. Yeah. You're the

oracle of death. Calm down.

A fun fact?

Doesn't get funner than that.

Oh, and you're so much better.

You're amazing.

One more. Let me just do it.

Oh, suck it.

You cheated.

I saw it. You cheated.

No I didn't! Your eyes were

closed. How could you know?

Make a move.

What?

Make. A. Move.

But I promised.

Are you sure?

Break the promise.

Make a damn move.

Okay.

I'm going to make a move now.

Good.

Waiting on the move.

[movie plays] I can't stop

myself.

[growling]

Nah Dave, I have no idea

why you didn't get the project.

Maybe something got screwed

up in the email.

Yeah, of course.

I could send it to you again.

I can't do it right

now, though.

I'm away from my computer.

Yeah, I'm just going to be

out and about all day.

Yeah, I know it's super

unprofessional of me.

No, but I can send it to you

tonight and we can go over

it tomorrow morning.

Yeah. Sorry again,

Dave. Cool. Yeah.

Talk to you later. Bye.

[door slams]

So...?

No. Dude, dude, dude.

I got to save my job somehow.

I wanted the details about

last night, though.

I really got to focus on

work right now, man.

That's adorable.

I love how hard you work.

How did it go?

It went really well.

Did you kiss?

I am not answering that.

All of her friends

know everything by now.

Answer my question.

Yeah.

You kissed?

Yeah, we kissed.

Did you use tongues?

Tongues were involved.

[giddily laughs]

Did you touch her butt?

All right, dude, out!

Okay. Okay.

I'll see you later,

you dirty butt toucher.

[door closes]

I did touch her butt...

All right.

Time to work.



[exhales sharply]

[slide whistle]

Back!

Back!

I am procrastinating.

[horn blows]

Miles calls for aid!

[horn blows]

No, I was just goofing

around with the junk.

I thought you called for aid.

No, it was a bit.

A bit?

I thought you were in trouble.

I'm sorry.

[crinkling noise]

[burp]



[phone buzzes]

[buzzing continues]

Hello?

Hey, Miles.

Umm, it's Ren.

Hey, Ren.

You okay?

Yeah. No. Yeah,

I'm fine. I'm...

sorry I called.

No need to be sorry.

But, no offense,

you do not sound okay.

Something happen?

Yeah...

No, no no... um, no...

God, we've only had one

date and I'm calling you up

crying like I'm insane.

You were just really

nice to me the other night,

and I didn't know

who else to call. So, umm...

I'm sorry...

Stop saying you're sorry!

It's all good!

I'm down to talk

if you need to talk.

You know what,

this was a bad idea.

I'll call you tomorrow when

I compose myself. Okay?

[phone beeps]

Ren. Ren?

sh*t...

[sighs]

sh*t.

sh*t. sh*t.

sh*t. sh*t. sh*t.



[exhales sharply]

-[phone rings]

-[message beep]

[Ren's voicemail] Hi. You've

reached Ren's voicemail but you

haven't reached me.

Leave a.. .[beep]

[exhales]



You didn't have to come.

I know that.

But you wouldn't have sent

me your address if you

wanted to be alone. So...

Ta-da!

I don't really want

to talk about it.

And you don't have to.

We can just sit and

watch cartoons.

I brought S'mores Pop-Tarts.

And you can tell me to

leave at any point.

But until then, I'm here.

With Pop-Tarts.

As I said before.

[sighs]

[cartoons play on TV]

Hey.

Did you drive here?

Yeah.



It's going to be okay.

[Ren snores]

[Ren snores]

[cartoons continue to play on

TV]



[Ren's snores suddenly stop]

[Ren's snores resume]

[Ren's snores suddenly stop]

[phone buzzes]

[phone buzzes]

[phone buzzes]

Hey, Dave.

Yeah, I saw that the thing

didn't go through again.

I'm going to send it over

to you again now.

And we can go over every...

Yeah. No, no, I know I...

Dude, technology, right?

But the client has

complained at all so

we're still in good shape.

No, no, no. I'm sorry.

Yeah, yeah. No, I understand.

Come on, Dave.

This is like the first time I

haven't delivered on

your schedule.

Dave. Dave, you can't

be serious. Are you...

Dave!

Dave? Dave?

[sighs]

[shuffling noises]

[crash]

Read the room, rats!

[beep]

Hi. You've reached the

voicemail of Miles Puck.

Hope you have a great

grand and amazing day.

Or not...

It's really up to you.

[beep]

[Ren] Hey, I'm calling you and

I'm not crying.

That's progress.

But I actually wanted to

call you to say thank you

for everything.

If you were still here this

morning, I was going to

make you breakfast.

And not Pop-Tarts.

I figured we'd have enough

of those. And popcorn.

Starting to where you only

eat things with the word

"pop" in them.

That was a joke.

You were really sweet, though.

I still owe you breakfast

sometime, so call me back.

[Miles] That storm's getting

closer.

We better keep moving.

From the looks of it,

it's only getting bigger.

[Fart Thunder Clap]

And from the sounds of it,

it's going to be

a real sh*t storm.

Wait.

I think I see someone

caught in it.

[eerie music]

[Thunder]

Hey, that's Ren.

She's just standing

in the storm.

Maybe.

And hear me out on this.

We should stop running from

it and just face it head on.

Ren seems to have plenty of

room under that umbrella.

She's probably just

saving that room for "Leo".

Come on.

I want to avoid this

storm as much as possible.

[footsteps walking off]

Hey, I see a house

up ahead, Kip.

We can avoid the

storm in there.

[Thunder]

Excuse me, sir.

Is this your house?

Oh, no.

This house belongs

to the dark and

terrifying things

that linger in the

fears of all.

So...

Is it cool if we go inside?

There's this storm and I...

What is your biggest fear?

My biggest fear?

I don't know.

Yes, you do.

What is it you fear the most?

I guess I fear being a loser.

Someone who just

fails at everything.

Someone no one

wants to be around or with.

Becoming sad and

alone as the years go by.

That. That's not in

the house, is it?

Well, no.

That's a little too metaphysical

to put in a house.

I was really hoping you'd

say something like "spiders."

What about you?

What is your biggest fear?

Trout.

You mean like the fish?

Yeah.

But you're a bear.

I didn't make fun

of your thing.

Sorry.

Okay. There isn't any

trout in there either.

But it's still full

of really bad stuff!

You know what?

If it doesn't have failure or

trout in there, I think we'll

take our chances.

Come on, Kip.

By avoiding the storm, you'll

only be putting yourself

through more torment.

Are you sure, Miles?

Yeah.

I don't think there's

anything in here

that could scare me

more than facing that storm.

[Thunder]

The safe word is "catharsis."

[Door slams shut]

[Miles] See? This isn't so bad.

[Kip] Catharsis.

[Music Starts]



I hear something rustling

Under the bed

I pull up the covers

Up over my head

I walk with a trepidation

Into the dark

I see myself in the mirror

I scare myself

Just let the walls before you



Fall away

Let the walls before you fall



Just let the chains that bind

you

Fall away

Let the chains

That bind you fall

Oh, please don't

Mess with my psyche

This isn't a drill

I know that nobody likes me,

And they never will

Just let the walls before you



Fall away

Let the walls before you fall



Just let the chains

That bind you

Fall away

Let the chains

That bind you fall

Let the walls before you

Fall away

Let the walls before you fall



Let the chains that bind you

Fall away

Let the chains

That bind you fall

All right, Kip.

I think we got away.

See, I told you.

Not so bad.

Kip.

Kip?

[demon] Mr. Van Winkle

isn't here anymore.

Where is he?

[demon] Doesn't matter.

What matters is

you are all alone.

Kip!

Kip! Kip!

[demon] What's wrong?

Don't you like being

alone with your thoughts?

If you must know...

No. No, I don't.

Okay.

I don't like being alone

with my own thoughts.

Happy? Are you happy now?

[demon] I warned you about

closing yourself off in here.

Okay, fine.

You win. I'll say

the safe word.

Catharsis.

[demon] That's not how the

safe word works.

What?

What do you mean that's

not how the safe word works?

[demon] You said it,

but I don't think you mean it.

That is a terrible precedent

to set for a safe word!

I said it.

That means I am done!

Catharsis!

[demon] Hollow words bring

safety to no one.

What are you, some kind

of fortune cookie now?

Don't you dare

leave here alone!

Catharsis.

Catharsis. Catharsis.

Catharsis. Catharsis.

Catharsis!

Catharsis! Catharsis!

Catharsis!

Catharsis...

Catharsis...

Catharsis...

Catharsis...

Wake up, man.

You were talking in

your sleep again.

I was?

Yeah. And I was clearly doing

you a favor waking you up.

I thought the sleep thingy

was supposed to cure you.

It's slightly more

complicated than that.

Ugh.

Then I don't want to hear it.

That dream even had a song.

It went.

"Just let the walls...

Don't let the walls..."

sh*t, I'm losing it.

Have you seen

my dream journal?

Think it's over there.

Whoa.

Since when did you start

working out this early?

Since you started dating

someone and making me

feel super single.

When I'm done here, I'm

going to be the Greek god

of bitchin abs.

[grunts]

Well, you don't have to

work yourself too hard.

I might just be the emotional

support side piece after all.

Oh, look, I have a missed

voicemail from Ren.

It's probably her

telling me that

while she had a very nice

night with me the other night,

her boyfriend, Leo,

is back in town, so...

peace out Girl Scout.

What is with you

and this negativity?

It's probably something nice.

[Ren's voicemail plays]

Yeah...

Yeah, you're right...

Of course I'm right, man.

I'm always right.

When are people

going to realize

that I am amazing at

vicariously running their lives?

No offense, dude, but you're

hardly that high up on the

totem pole of life yourself.

Miles.

When it comes to life...

I... am a power bottom.

[grunts]

Why am I like this?

I let one little thing spiral

into the absolute worst

case scenario in my mind.

Make myself a complete nut.

I really wish I didn't

feel like this all the time.

[weights clanks]

What?

Did you say something to me?

No, nothing. Forget it.

Really?

Yeah, forget it.

It was nothing.

'Cause I put in my

headphones, like, right

before you started talking.

It's cool. We can drop it.

Okay.

Well, maybe your

boss will yell at you today.

That usually cheers

you up, right?

I already got fired.

Oh, good on you

taking the initiative!

And you know what?

Not going to let myself

freak out about that.

[clicks tongue]

Or my lack of health insurance.

Or the fact I still have to

pay off my student loans.

Or...

Good start there, bucko.

You're right.

Good vibes only.

Only good vibes.

[Computer dings]

Maybe that's Ren sending

good vibes now.

[sighs]

No. It says it's a message from

someone I'm not friends with.

[ding]

Hey, bro.

Heard you been hanging

around with Ren.

Just want to let you know

that she's going through

something weird right now,

but as soon as she's done

with that, she's going to

be back with me.

So how about you back off?

So, Leo is Ren's

crazy ex-boyfriend.

Great grand and

freakin amazing! Yes!

Yes, sir.

That is the best message

I could have received.

Huge load off my mind.

Thank God.

Oh, he's typing.

[dings]

I can see you reading

my messages.

Just to be clear, I'm

not asking. Okay?

Stay away from Ren.

Wow, this dude is losing it.

I probably shouldn't message

him, right? Like he's emotional.

Going through some stuff.

Let him be.

Mmm...

Right.

Handle this head on.

[dings]

Oh, hey, Leo.

It's nice to meet you.

I'm sorry to hear you haven't

been doing well since

you and Ren broke up.

Like, I know it

can be hard, but,

dude, you can't be sending

messages like this to

everyone she meets.

It's not healthy to you,

her or like anyone.

[dings]

You think I give a crap

about what's healthy?

I don't.

In fact,

I give so little of a crap

that you owe me a crap.

You owe me a crap?

I owe you a crap?

All right, man.

Now you're just being

ignorant to Ren's feelings.

-[dings]

-Me? Ignorant?

I don't even know the

meaning of the word. All right?

But you're going to

know the meaning of the word

"ouch" if you keep testing me.

Are you threatening me?

Not just me, bro.

My whole family too.

You even know

who my uncle is?

No...

Well.

How 'bout you watch

Goodfellas. Scarface.

The Godfather.

Then you'll know who he is.

Is he like an actor?

No.

He's the real deal.

So why don't you stay

away from Ren.

Or else.

Well, that was unexpected.

[sniffs]

Did he just say he was going

to put a mob hit on me?

Yeah, I think he did.

Either way, man.

Good vibes.

[chair clacking]

[sighs]

[cardboard rubbing]

Oh, you have a ton of

fun m*rder weapons.

Really is a shame

you aren't a serial k*ller.

[metal clanking]

Or mafioso...

What?

What? Nothing.

I'm serious, though.

You guys should really

sort through some of the stuff.

Some of it's really cool.

I mean, like,

you've got a hand drill.

A very cute stuffed animal.

Two and only two

kitchen knives.

And an old school

voice recorder.

[sighs]

Now, this brings back an

extremely embarrassing story.

Oooo, do tell?

No.

Oh, no, no, no.

You can't do that. Okay?

You can't bring it up

and not tell the story.

Come on, out it.

Okay, fine.

But I will preface the story

by saying I was not a

loser in high school.

Oh, so it's that kind of story.

Wait, wait.

[bench creaking]

Your audience is listening.

Please continue.

Okay, so it was prom season

and all the dudes were, like,

doing these promposal things.

Except they were

extremely lame, like

holding up a sign or getting

the teachers to write

it on their test scores.

Having a teacher ask for

you does sound pretty lame.

-Right?

-Yeah.

So I decided, being the

strong, independent woman

who don't need no man

but would very much like one

that I am, I was going to

do my own promposal.

I was going to

bring the damn pizzazz.

So what's the plan?

Here.

Let's role play it.

Okay, so

pretend you're a high school

boy in homeroom and I'm me,

but dressed in a suit and tie.

[door opening]



[recorder clacking]

That's it. That's all I did.

And then when he passes play,

the recorder says,

"Hello, high school Miles.

Your mission, if you

choose to accept it,

is to take Ren to prom."

[recorder clacking]

Now that's pizzazz!

I know!

The entire school

was talking about it!

But the problem was...

that b*stard said, "No."

Wait really?

I was humiliated.

I had to walk around

school the entire day

dressed like a secret agent.

But I was not defeated.

A couple of weeks later, this

guy from my math class

broke up with his girlfriend.

The perfect mark.

Oh, so this isn't even over?

Oh, no, not even close.

So I draw up a pirate map of

our math class, and I left

it on the dude's desk.

He unrolls it and on

it has an X to mark his booty.

He follows the map to a closet.

He opens it and

then out pops...

me dressed like a pirate!

Me. I was the booty.

And where did you

get a pirate outfit?

I was in the drama club.

Are you sure you

weren't a loser in high school?

[sarcastically laughs]

[rasberry]

I'll have you know, Miles Puck,

that I made a very hot pirate.

Duly noted.

Anyway, you know

what this guy tells me?

He already bought tickets to

some concert, and he

didn't want to miss it.

[sighs]

At that point,

I was ready to die.

Ready to walk the plank.

So...

[hands clap]

you ever make it to prom?

My g*y friend asked

me to go with him.

And do you know

how he asked me?

With a g*dd*mn sign.

And it all comes full circle.

I mean, you know,

I would have said yes.

I sure as hell hope so.

[inhales deeply]

You know,

if I was a psychiatrist,

I would blame all of my

past dumb relationships

on this prom thing.

Fear of rejection or some sh*t.

Always good to have

something to blame.

Hey, about the other night.

I usually don't get that

worked up, by the way.

My ex called.

I was telling my friends about

you, and I guess someone

told him about it

and he decided to call

me up and yell at me.

So...

You were telling your

friends about me?

That's your take away?

Sorry.

I kinda knew the other part

because he

kinda sorta sent me a

threatening message

over Face-Brook...

Book.

Gotta be kidding me.

Hey, hey, don't. No worries.

He doesn't know me well

enough to make me cry.

But I'm extremely

sorry he can do that to you.

Just do me a favor

and don't respond.

Yeah. Responding...

Responding would be stupid.

Okay, cool. So just ignore him.

Yeah. Great plan.

Totally my plan.

Awesome plan.

Umm.

Hey, one last,

quick thing, though:

He's not affiliated with the

Mafia or anything, right?

What?

Like, he's never joked, like,

"Ah, my uncle's in the Mafia!"

Or...

anything like that.

I don't even think

he's Italian.

They're not Italian mobs.

Is the mafia even

still a thing?

I like to safely assume

they're always just kind

of around.

I mean, I haven't heard

any mafia related news...

Please just answer

the question, Ren!

[swooshing]

[Miles] Oh, hey, Ren.

So, as you know, probably,

the prom's tonight

and you and I have

been dating for a while.

Not to put labels on this.

I mean, unless you want

to put a label on this.

I mean, I'm fine with

whatever you want, but...

We have been

hanging out a lot lately.

And I know it's silly to...

proms and all that...

but I was thinking

maybe you and I could go

together and that would

be a lot of fun.

We could have fun.

Okay, that was bad.



Oh, hey, Ren!

-[car approaching]

-Whoa...

[tires skidding out]

-[thuds]

-Uh.

I don't think we're going to

make it to the prom.

Which sucks because now I

feel like I've been wearing

this stupid bow tie

this whole time for nothing!

It's a pleasure to

meet you, Miles.

Glad you could join us for

our peaceful nighttime ride.

Um... Hello.

May I ask who you are?

I'm Uncle Tony.

Not to you,

but to my nephew, Leo.

Dammit, Ren,

you are not very observant.

My friends call

me Tony-Whack-a-b*tch.

And this is my associate,

Bobby Two Knives.

Nice to meet you,

Bobby Two Knives.

Don't talk to

Bobby Two Knives!

He doesn't like

meeting new people.

And he used to be

Bobby Three Knives

if you catch my drift.

[growl]

[gulp]

Where are you taking us?

Don't worry!

We'll get there right after

we drop off Charlie The Snitch.

[trunk thudding]

Time to drop you off,

Charlie The Snitch.

[footsteps]

Wait.

He's an organ donor.

[dumpster clanking]

Okay, now we can

go to the graveyard.

[both] The graveyard?



[dirt sifting]

What are we doing?

Kip, this is pointless!

No, no, no.

If you do a good enough job

digging your own grave,

we'll totally let you live.

[giggles]

[g*n shot sounds]

[phone beeps]

Hello?

Oh, hey, nephew Leo.

Yeah, I'm just finishing things

up with Bobby Two Knives

and Miles "Buried Alive."

Wait! That's my

gangster name?

Yeah, nephew.

I'll finish up here and then

I'll meet you for Sunday dinner.

-[phone beeps]

-[engine starts]

Kip! They're

burying me alive!

What?

Who could have

seen this coming?

Don't worry, Miles!

I'll save you!

Ah!

[thuds]

Miles! I was stabbed

by Bobby One Knife!

[dirt sifting]

No, no!

[grunts]

[panting]

He doesn't have

ties to the Mafia.

It's insane to

believe that he does.

[demon voice] But what if he

does?

He doesn't.

[demon voice] If he does,

they'll never

find your body.

You're insane.

[demon voice] Agreed. You're

insane.

Ren would have

known about it.

[demon voice] She doesn't know

you're a nut ball stresses out

over everything!

She doesn't need to know.

[demon voice] Well, she's going

to find out.

And then she's going to think

you're completely neurotic

and won't want to be with you!

You're the one who thinks

Leo has ties to the mob.

[demon voice] I'm not the one

talking to myself!

I mean... no, you are.

[demon voice] I guess you're

right

about that.

I should really

stop talking to myself.

[demon voice] Agreed.

It's not a good look.

Okay. Talk to you later.

[demon voice] Unless the mob

gets you first!

Wow! I am tired and losing it!

Just losing it.

[swooshing]

[squeaking]

[swooshing]

[chair creaks]

[keyboard clicking]

[keyboard clicking]

This is a terrible resume.

[phone buzzes]



[camera sound]

[camera sound]

[camera sound]

[camera sound]

[camera sound]

[camera sound]

[camera sound]

[Ren] I swear. I'm usually

much better at this.

I mean,

we could still eat it, right?

I only want you to find out.

No, I was kidding. Don't do it.

No, no, no. A dare's a dare.

No one dared you.

Oh, tasty?

I dare you to spit it out.

Thank God.

[spitting]

It's like charcoal.

All right, I need to get the

taste out of my mouth.

Oh, jeez.

Do you even eat anything?

Well, I think I need

to go to the store.

I might have some bacon.

This isn't bacon.

This is turkey bacon.

Yeah, I only ever

get turkey bacon.

I have some ground turkey too.

Is this like a

health thing? Or...

No, it's less of a health

thing and more of a

hatred for turkeys.

I'm sorry. What?

I don't know.

I've always thought pigs

were cute and smart,

and I've seen a ton of

cute videos of cows online so...

turkeys can go

screw themselves.

All right,

I'll make turkey burgers.

Great.

[sizzling]

[Miles] All right, now, this

one.

Nope. Not cute.

You have got to be--

That is the cutest

damn turkey ever.

And yet still not cute enough.

Obama pardoned this turkey.

And he should have let it die.

How we feeling

about this show?

I've seen this one already,

but it's good we can watch it.

This is a weird thing!

This is the weirdest thing

I've learned about you.

How is this weird?

So what? It's a turkey!

No, no, no. The point is,

we're supposed to

watch something together.

I don't want to see

something you've already seen.

And they're so loud

and annoying for no reason.

Most people are

just indifferent.

I mean, I've seen it...

No, no. It's like a

cute couple thing.

It's like, Oh, we watch it

together and it's something

we look forward to.

I can watch you watch it.

Oh, I don't want you

to watch me watch it!

That's entertaining for me!

No, that's going

to spoil it for me!

I won't say anything!

No, your body language will.

Okay, fine.

[show plays on tv]

Okay.

I like this guy.

He doesn't die, right?

I'm not going to tell you.

You just need to watch it.

I'm going to be

very upset if he dies.

Just watch it.

I'm not gonna spoil anything.

Just watch.

[sniffs]

This is nice.

Yeah, I'm enjoying this.

[male voice] Ren!

-Were you expecting someone?

-[male voice] Ren!

No.

Ren!

Oh, God, no.

Come on! I know you're

home. I saw your car. Ren!

Ren!

[shushing]

You're here, too.

Ah. Now I can

really get things done.

Okay. What are you

doing here, Leo?

I'm here for

closure and revenge.

Revenge for what?

Revenge for breaking my

heart and revenge for

stealing my girl.

That revenge is for him,

not for you.

Just go home, Leo.

I really think you

should go home, buddy.

I am not your buddy.

And if I was your buddy,

you broke the buddy code,

so I would have to

fight you for that anyway.

I don't want to fight you, Leo!

Come on, one quick fight

and then I'll leave

you guys alone.

I promise.

[sighs]

Even if I lose?

It's for revenge.

It's, like,

preferred that you lose.

All right, fine.

What? No!

I don't want him hanging

over our heads anymore.

I'd rather get beat up and

have to think about them later.

That's the spirit! Come on!

[Ren] This is so stupid...

[sighs]

Shirts off.

Those are the rules.

You didn't have

to throw it to her, bro.

That's like rubbing it in.

Can we just get

this over with?

Okay.

Woo!

Oh, okay. Yeah.

[claps hands]

Good fight, good fight.

No bad fight, bad fight!

[clapping hands]

Dude, come on. Don't give up.

What do you see in this guy?

Honestly?

Just go away, Leo!

She didn't answer

the question, bro.

That has gotta sting more

than the punch did.

Oh, you are going

to regret that.

What? You gonna send

the Mafia after me?

[mouths] The Mafia?...

Did you fall for that?

No...

You totally did!

Joke's on you, bro!

I haven't even seen Scarface.

Oh!

Can the fight be over now?

What?

You scared of a little fight?

Neither of us is enjoying this!

Life is about fighting!

All right,

life is like a game show.

It's called

"Fight for What's Yours".

I'm the host.

Alright.

Ren is the studio audience...

And Ren is also the prize.

And you? You're at home, bro.

You're at home on

your couch watching us.

I'll be honest, I don't really

follow that metaphor, man.

You're pathetic.

Okay?

She's gonna leave you

the same way she left me.

And do you know why that is?

It's because you're

a loser and I'm awesome.

How much money

do you make a year?

I'm actually inbetween

jobs at the moment.

What?

I was going to flex my

salary on you, but just having

one is enough of a flex!

Ooof!

[coughs]

How big is your

apartment, huh?

I actually am currently

staying at my

dead step uncle's place

as my cousin tries to sell it.

Jesus. He's a squatter!

Mmmm!

[punch thudding]

Leo, stop it!

Mm hmm. Mm.

I drive a Tesla.

All right, man.

Please let me

one up you with that.

I mean, I don't really like

driving, so I don't

care about cars.

What?

You don't like driving?

What are you, a woman?

No.

You deserve a punch.

You're getting a slap.

Leo! Stop it!

[grunts]

Stop it or

I'm calling the police!

Okay. I'm done. I'm done.

You look like a real

weenie bo-beanie

in front of your girl,

so thanks for the revenge, bro!

You're dating a loser, Ren!

A loser!

[grunts]

It drives itself.

I think...

I know, Elon.

He follows me on Twitter!

[door slams]

[plastic crinkling]

I don't have steak,

but I have this.

Is this chicken?

No turkey.

I think you have

a problem, Ren.

Okay, well,

that's what I've got.

So do you want it?

No. Now that I'm looking at it,

it's probably just going to

give my eye salmonella.

[plastic crinkling]

[sighs]

Do you know what

love bombing is?

No, but if it's a thing

you're into, I'll try it out

at least once.

No, it's...

It's not that kind of thing.

It's when you meet someone

and you just start showering

them with affection.

You know, compliments,

expensive gifts,

expensive trips.

That kind of thing.

Can't say I've ever

had that happen to me.

Well, I have.

Leo did that.

He bought me everything.

And he call me every night

with compliments, and he

would take me out just as often.

You know,

it made me feel really special.

What a guy that Leo...

No, I mean, the human mind

has a really weird reaction

to receiving all that stuff.

And I think he knew that.

And before I knew it,

things got really serious,

really fast.

I'm pretty sure

that's what he wanted.

Sounds nice.

I don't think I'm conveying

correctly the way he got

into my head.

[sighs]

I mean, I feel stupid

thinking about it now.

And I obviously dumped

him for a reason once

I came to my senses.

But I'm bringing

all this up because

you didn't do any of that.

You didn't try to love b*mb me.

I mean,

our first date was in a garage.

And you don't blow up my

phone every night with

compliments.

And you didn't come here

tonight

bearing gifts for no reason.

[static noise encroaches]

You're just you.

Just me.

You know,

I'm getting pretty tired.

Maybe we should just go to bed.

You know what

I'm trying to say, right?

I like you.

No, I hear you.

And I like you, too.

I just.

I'd really just like to

go to bed right now.

[CPAP humming]

[breathes deeply]

[static]

[static]

[eerie music]

[static]

[male voice] Live from the

metaphorical bottle where you

shove all your feelings,

it's your judgmental neighbors'

favorite game show!

It's time for...

[audience] What The Hell

Does She See In Him!!!

[applause]

Hello, everyone!

I'm your host,

Leo The Awesome.

I may not have ties to the

Mafia, but I do have ties

to America's heartstrings.

[audience] Awww!

Now, let's bring

out our first contestant.

He doesn't like driving.

He doesn't have

his own apartment.

Hell, he doesn't

even have a job!

Please welcome

Miles, stupid hair, Puck!

-[wheels squeaking]

-[fuse burning]

[canon fires]

Uh...

[canon squeaks away]

Ow.

Now that Miles is physically

hurt, let's hurt his feelings.

Miles, the world wants

to know, "what the hell

does Ren see in you?"

[cymbal crashes]

I, I don't know.

None of us do! Hahaha!

You're such a loser!

Do you, like,

give her a lot of gifts?

No.

Take her on any cool dates?

We watched a lot

of movies together.

Whoa, big spender!

Really spoiling her right here!

Hahaha!

Gobble Gobble Gobble!

Before we get to the

bottom of this,

let's send things over to our

resident comedian,

Kip Van Winkle!

[applause]

Oh, hi, everybody. Okay.

[clears throat]

What's the difference between

your great aunt and a turd?

One pinches your cheeks

the other your cheeks pinch.

[snare hit]

You get it?

It's a poop joke.

Well, anyway,

you got this, Miles.

You're a great guy

and Ren is to have you.

[audience] Hahaha!

No, no, that wasn't a joke.

Hahaha!

Please stop laughing.

He's my friend...

And we're back!

Can anyone figure out what

the hell Ren sees in Miles?

Is Ren here?

I feel like we

could just ask her.

Do you really want to ask

Ren why she likes you

despite your lack of a job,

lack of a house,

or insane phobias?

I mean, I don't think

I'd phrase it that way...

Hold that thought!

Hold it right there in your

sissy, little girly hands.

It's time to throw it back

to our resident comedian,

Kip Van Winkle!

Knock, knock.

[audience] Who's there?

Knock, knock.

[audience] Who's there?

Knock, knock.

[male voice] Who's there?

Guy with OCD!

[snare hit]

[chuckles]

But real talk, folks:

We all need to take mental

health a little more seriously.

I brought a pamphlet so

we can all educate ourselves.

Who wants a pamphlet?

Pamphlet?

If you laughed,

you have to take a pamphlet.

And that's all the

time we have, folks!

Unfortunately, we couldn't

figure out what the hell

Ren sees in Miles.

I'm nice!

You hear that, folks?

He thinks he deserves a girl

just because he's nice!

Booooo!

That's not what I said!

Well, we still don't know how

anyone could ever love you.

And when we don't have an

answer, you know what

that means, folks!

[audience] Put to death!

Wait! Put to death?

What does that mean?

You're a loser.

So we're going to put you

and Ren out of your misery.

Bye bye, Miles!

Let's release the love b*mb!

[chain squeaking]

Has that been up

there this whole time?

Hello?

[buzzing]

Oh, I do not like this.

[chain squeaking]

[b*mb whistling]

[expl*si*n]

[bell gongs]

[heartbeat thumping]

[CPAP humming]

[heartbeat thumping]

[eerie music]

[throat noises]

[heartbeat intensifies]

[throat noises continues]

[growls]

[bell gongs]

[demon] You are worthless...

-[gasps]

-[CPAP clacking]

Oh, what?

What?

What the hell's going on?

Geez that hurt!

I, I'm so sorry.

Are you okay?

What happened? Miles. Miles.

It's okay. Just leave it.

It's okay. What's going on?

-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

-Miles.

-[Ren] You're scaring...

You're starting to

scare me now, Miles.

It's going to be okay.

Relax. Miles, relax.

What are you doing?

Miles, just talk to me

for a second!

What is going on?

Miles? Just talk to me!

Miles!

Miles!

[door shutting]

[heavy breathing]

[keys opening door]

-[door slams]

-[panicked breathing]

[Miles takes deep breaths]

[corky music]

[breathing quickens]

-[door slamming]

-[phone ringing]

[car approaching]

[phone ringing]

[beep]

[voicemail] Hi, you've reached

the voicemail of Miles Puck.

Hope you have a great

grand and amazing day.

Or not. It's really up to you.

[beep]

[Ren] Hey, Miles, it's me again.

Really wish you'd call me back.

I saw your car is still on

my street, and I wanted to

make sure you're okay.

Don't really know what

happened last night, but

call me back, okay?

Seriously, even just a text

saying, "yo, I'm not dead,"

would be appreciated.

So yeah. Bye.

[beep]

Hey, Miles, just a quick

heads up about the...

What are you doing?

I'm going to k*ll the

sh*t out of some rats.

[g*n clicking]

What happened to your eye?

I got into a fight.

With the rats?

No. I had a freaky thing in my

sleep and I was with Ren and...

So, Ren punched you?

No.

You punched yourself?

No.

You punched Ren?

No!

Good because I was going

to have to punch you then.

I mean, what kind of...

Gloves are coming off, buddy.

I got to teach you a lesson.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Let me explain. Let me explain.

Leo punched me, which caused

me to have a freaky dream,

which made me yank

Ren's CPAP machine.

And that caused me

to have a panic attack.

So... I ran away.

Woah.

Yeah. Woah.

Have you talked to her since?

Nah, I looked absolutely

insane.

Doing a lot better now.

[Rat trap snaps]

I got one.

[Rat squeaks]

Ah sh*t, he's not dead!

[thudding]

[rat squeaks]

[thudding]

[breathes heavily]

[sighs]

[mournful music]

I guess I should

say some words.

[birds chirping]

I'm sorry I k*lled

you, Mr. Rat.

Or Mrs. Rat...

It was too gross to check.

But regardless,

I'm sorry I k*lled you.

I think I'm just going through

something right now. And..

I was using k*lling

your people as an outlet.

In retrospect, it's probably

not the healthiest of outlets,

and it's probably a good

thing that I feel bad about it,

because if I were like super

into this kind of thing,

that would be really worrisome.

What I'm trying to say is,

I'm sorry for k*lling you.

I feel absolutely

terrible about it

and it won't happen again.

[Rat trap snaps]

[drum thud]

I'm a monster.

[leaves rustle]

Yo.

Yo, yo, yo, what the hell?

Relax, dude.

I already knew you're a nut.

I didn't realize to what

degree exactly, because...

Wow.

You can't just read

my dream journal.

You left it out,

and I just wanted to see

if I was in any of 'em.

And to be honest,

I should probably

be mad with you because

I'm only in one.

They're not for you!

I'm the only one who's

supposed to be reading this!

Well, have you?

Have I what?

Have you read anything

you've written down?

Because you should.

Reason one being your spelling

is absolutely atrocious.

But reason two: you might

notice some patterns.

Like, did you realize that

Ren is in every single

one of your dreams,

but she never says anything?

The most you'll do is probably

exchange some sort of message,

but she never actually speaks.

Just saying man, your dreams

don't pass the Bechdel test.

Also,

I am showing the house today.

I will keep them out of the

garage because I

don't want them to see...

any of this.

You.

I don't want them to see you.

Have a happy breakdown.

[kissy noises]

[door slams]

[soft music]

[pages rustle]

[whack]

[smacks]

There totally is a pattern.

But breaking it will make me

look even more like a nutcase.

So let's just bury that

all deep, deep down.

[rat trap snaps]

Jesus...

[crashes]

Ow.

That would have been bad.

Kip?



How?

How did you?



Okay.

Okay, Kip.

[rustling noise]

[screen door creaks]

Hey...

Can we, like, talk?

[fingers thumping]

Okay, first off,

sorry about last night.

It's okay.

And I have something kind

of big that I got to tell you.

Alright.

Alright.

Okay. Okay. Umm...

[sighs]

This is my dream journal.

I started it after

the sleep study.

I am supposed to write

down all of my dreams

to see if there's any patterns

or consistencies that come up.

And there is one.

You.

Me?

Well, you and this teddy

bear from the sleep study.

But I don't know if I'm quite

ready to dissect what that

whole thing means yet.

But you are in every

one of my dreams.

Every one since I've met you.

That has to mean something.

What does it mean?

In every one of my dreams,

you never speak.

And I never speak to you.

But all I want to

do is talk to you.

That's it. Just talk to you.

Really, truly talk to you.

I'm not sure I follow.

Okay.

[clicks tongue]

The reason...

I get night terrors and why I

see shadow monsters

that aren't really there

is because I have

bad, terrible,

crippling anxiety.

I try and push it down,

and I like to think I can

hide it well. But the truth is,

I overthink everything.

And I mean everything.

I can overthink things to the

point where I can feel

physically ill sometimes.

I mean, I really should be

on some kind of medication,

or at the very least, therapy.

But I don't have health

insurance, and that's a

whole other can of worms,

because then I just get worried

I'm going to get hit

by a bus or something

and be physically and

financially crippled for

the rest of my life.

and uh...

[soft music]

But when I'm alone...

especially at night,

when I'm trying

to go to sleep...

I can spiral into feeling

completely and utterly

helpless

and, well, alone.

I know this is a

lot to take in.

It's okay.

And I'm not trying to say

you're like some kind of

miracle cure for my anxiety.

What I'm asking is if it's okay

for me to tell you about it.

For me to call you up

when I'm spiraling to say

"Hey, I'm feeling crappy!"

and not feel bad about it

or feel like I'm imposing.

I just would really love

if I had someone as great.

As awesome.

Someone as

great grand and amazing...

as you...

there for me in my corner

to tell me it's

going to be okay just

every now and then.

But have you ever feel like

I'm just taking the

advantage or I'm

overstepping my boundaries--

You're an idiot.

I don't think that's the

proper response to everything

I just said.

No, it is.

[sniffs]

Agree to disagree on that one.

Sit down, you moron.

Okay.

[sighs]

[chuckles]

I called you seven

times last night, you moron.

I clearly wanted to talk to

you to make sure you were okay.

You moron.

I want to be there for you just

as much as you're there for me.

This is a give and

take type deal.

Okay?

Yeah.

You don't think I'm crazy?

No.

[sigh of relief]

I um...

I think I still have some

S'mores Pop Tarts if

you want one.

That would be nice.

[hopeful music]

[giggles]

Okay.

[exhales]

Pop-Tarts?

Pop-Tarts.

[footsteps]

Catharsis.

Aren't you selling

yourself for how cool you

make websites look?

Yeah.

[upbeat music]

Then your resum

should look cool.

Okay, let's bring this section

over there and add a

graphic or something.

And then Kathy comes

in and she just has

to tell my client

that the nail color I picked

out for her was kind of

"wh*re-ish".

She suuucks.

Oh, my God, thank you.

She sucks so much. I hate her.

It's okay.

You've got a solid resume

and you k*lled the interview.

You need to let yourself

relax now. You've done

everything you can.

[Miles] You're right. You're

right.

Totally right.

I will stop freaking out

because everything's totally

going to be okay.

But what if they blacklist me?

Good night, you

employed b*stard, you.

[laughs]

So step one of

the plan is complete.

Finding a job.

Step two is health insurance

which will lead to step three:

finding a therapist and

maybe some meds.

And how many steps are

there in this plan of yours?

Hmm... I'm not sure yet.

I guess we'll find

out as we go.

You know,

you're very nice to me.

Don't worry.

You'll make it up to me.

Sweet dreams, Ren.

Sweet dreams, Miles.

[CPAP humming]

[Breathing through an

apparatus echoes

through the night]

[Miles] You know, you really do

feel weightless up here.

It's awesome, right?

It's like floating in the pool.

[Ren] But the pool is all around

you and you can't breathe in it.

That's pretty much

exactly a pool.

Don't mock my simile.

It accurately

encapsulates my experience.

Oh, look!

A sh**ting star!

Make a wish.

[sighs]

I wish...

[tearing sound]

Ah! I've been hit!

There's a hole in my suit!

I'm going to die!

Relax.

You're not going to die.

[tape crinkling]

Let's get you back to

the spaceship before

the tape gives way.

[tranquil music]

Hey, Ren.

You want to know

what I wished for?

You can't tell me if

you want it to come true!

But what if you

holding me was my wish?

Geez, you're cheesy.

Am I cheesier than the moon?

Well, looking at the moon and

it's made of rock, not cheese.

So, yes, you are.

I hope you aren't

lactose intolerant.

I can still take off the tape.

You wouldn't do that.

No, I wouldn't do that.

-[crickets chirping]

-[water flowing]

Finally got him to be brave.

Brave enough

to ask for a little help.

[splash]

[splash]

What the hell was that?

Was that a trout?

Oh, hell, no! Forget this!

I'm out of here!

[End Credits Music Begins]

Now, the hungry lion

Roars and the wolf

Behowls the moon

Whilst the heavy

Plowman snores

All his weary tasks fordone

Now the wasted brands do

Glow whilst the screech owl,

Screeching loud

Like the wretch that

Lies in whoa in

Remembrance of a shroud

Now it is the time of night

That the graves all open wide

Everyone let's forth

Their sprite on the church

Way paths to glide

Hand in hand with fairy grace



We will sing

And bless this place

Close your eyes

Go to sleep

Just close your eyes

But a dream

But a dream

But a dream

But a dream

Hand in hand with fairy grace



We will sing

And bless this place

Close your eyes

Go to sleep

Just close your eyes

But a dream

But a dream

But a dream

But a dream

[music fades]