(plug clicks into socket)
(electronic drum music)
I am a conquering warrior,
and master of self.
I conduct myself with
nobility and strength,
one day at a time.
(optimistic music)
This is for you, Iver.
(electronic keyboard music)
(full electronic track)
(spoon clinks on bowl)
(tablets crushing)
(gulps)
(children playing)
(sirens wailing)
Industriousness,
self-reliance, perseverance,
courage, truth, honour, fidelity,
discipline, industriousness,
hospitality,
self-reliance, perseverance.
(knocks on door)
-Angie? -Yeah?
I need to borrow you one last time.
I've modified me ramps.
Are you going to the
Solstice bonfire tonight?
The whole flats is going to be there.
No, I'm going to Iver's.
But it's your day off. Ah,
come on, it'll be deadly.
Right, we need to borrow Juno as well,
we need to go full weight.
-Well, throw us the cushion,
so, she cut the leg off me last time.
No, not that one, that's
me good one, the other one.
Yep, perfect, thank you.
(whistles, clucks)
Ah, Juno.
Stay in this joke, Angie.
(mimics barking)
Look, I know he's your sponsor, and...
you're doing an amazing
job of being his carer, but...
you need to get a little life of your own.
Seriously Leon, what are you
going to do when he's gone?
I'll go back on the gear,
three years to catch up on.
-That's not funny. -I know.
It's a lot of gear to get through, right?
(upbeat music)
Hold onto your mutt.
ANGIE: Ooh.
(grunting)
That's it, hold 'em.
How are we, Jerry? (panting, barks)
Oh yes, yes David.
(claps) I'm open.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Aah.
(boys laughing)
Yeah, you looking?
Alright, Cleggs.
Alright, cuz?
Yeah, good, yeah.
Where are you off to,
whistlin' dixie? Work?
Yeah, well, er, no, it's me day off.
But you're going in anyways?
Here.
A clear head is good company.
Come on, Leon.
If you weren't family,
I'd f*cking hate you.
(chuckles)
What has you like a fizzy Chewit?
I don't want Iver to miss the sunlight.
You're obsessed with him.
(upbeat electronic music)
You'd live up his hole if you could.
And pay him rent.
You prick.
How are you? I didn't see you there.
(electronic music continues)
(keys jangle, door opens)
(door closes)
(epic Nordic music)
What the f*ck?!
Alright, here we go
Iver, careful now, careful.
Alright, Iver.
(music stops abruptly)
Who the f*ck are you?
Leon.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Leon. You
weren't meant to see this.
(Iver sighs)
I've decided not to fight this to the end.
I've decided to exit.
-Exit? -Before I...
Exit? The only exit you're
going out is that one,
and she can f*ck off for herself.
I'm not going anywhere unless Iver says so.
It's alright, Maria.
Give us a minute, thanks.
(breathing heavily)
(footsteps receding)
(door squeaks)
Here.
-Come here. -(grunts)
(grunting)
(oxygen canister clanks)
(curtains swish) (objects crash)
Now look what you've done.
(sighs)
You just need to get out.
I know what I'm doing.
What you're doing is sh*t.
(coughs phlegmily) -Here, hang on, hang on.
Here.
(slaps back)
-Leon... -What about the stables?
I can't do it.
What about the lads?
I can't do any of it anymore.
It's not fair.
It's not fair on you.
I need 24-hour care.
Yeah, that... that's not what I meant.
I mean, I'll... I'll do it,
with a heart and a half.
I know.
That's why...
We'll get you another nurse...
a hot one. (chuckles)
I don't want another nurse.
I don't want a stupid motorised bed.
Leon...
I don't want to be in hospital.
But you're Iver the Great.
You're Iver the Viking.
I want to go now.
Not now, Iver.
Just, just not now, like, right?
Not now, yeah? Just, just not... not now.
But it has to be now.
Because I can still hit the switch now.
What about courage?
Huh? Truth?
See you tomorrow, you said.
Stop, Leon.
Honesty, fidelity,
honour, discipline, industriousness...
(exhales sharply)
Ah, f*ck, er...
BOTH: Self-reliance.
Perseverance, f*cking perseverance, Iver.
One day at a time, remember?
But every day is getting harder.
And... and... and a f*cking hood?
Nothing good ever comes from a hood.
Like, think like the f*cking Ku Klux Klan.
Think executioners and t*rrorists,
prisoners and muggers.
Think of the Satanic f*cking
ceremonies in the Vatican.
That's all hoods and cloaks and sh*t.
Think of those weird
f*cking monks, they'd be like,
they love the f*cking hoods.
And then remember that businessman
in the Gresham who liked to c*m
with a bag on his head...
And think of a drowned
bag of puppies, Iver.
The bag is basically an upside-down hood.
(exhales)
Come on, a quick trip to the stables
and we'll go to Jimmy's for a pint, yeah?
I'm not going to leave the house.
You are, you're f*cking,
you're getting in this chair.
Stop, Leon.
Because you've not f*cking
left this place in six months,
because of your stupid pride.
(plastic ripping) I'm not going out.
It's the Solstice, sure.
I'm not going to leave the house.
A quick trip to the stables,
say hello to Anita and the lads,
pop into Jimmy for a hell, yeah,
it'll be f*cking deadly.
You're not going to change my mind.
(wheelchair clunks)
You can't just sneak off
without saying any goodbyes.
You actually f*cking
owe me this, ya bollocks.
You... you get me clean by going on and on
about fighting the good battle,
and then you slink away with your sword
between your legs.
Come on, ya f*ck.
They'll be glad the saw ya.
After, like.
Well, I'm not going
anywhere without me strides.
(chuckles)
Yeah, well, I'm not going
to push you down the street
in your f*cking cacks.
Come on. (laughs)
Okay, where is this f*cking thing? Alright.
Now...
(Iver sighs)
there we go.
"This is a small...
token to say,
I am so proud of you
for turning your life around."
Stop.
"You are a true friend."
Read it after.
LEON: How...
Go on, let's do this.
The stables, a pint, then home.
(Iver sighs wearily)
(box lid clunks onto table)
(lighter clicks, flicks)
It's handsome, so it is.
Come on.
(grunts)
You're alright.
(wheelchair trundles)
Ah, what are you doing
here? I thought you'd left.
No, I just took the bin out.
Wha... what are you
taking his bins out for?
Well, someone left a chicken
carcass in the bin with no lid.
Don't dare come in with
your bandy exit plans,
and insult my housekeeping.
I'm not trying to insult anyone.
The bins are out tomorrow, I had that.
Grab your purse Maria,
one last jaunt into town.
We don't need her.
I'm not going without Maria,
because afterwards, Leon...
(breathes heavily)
Neck brace, f*ck.
(door closes) (plastic bag rustles)
What are you doing?
I'm taking him out for some sun.
I know what you're thinking.
No, you don't.
I have been talking
to Iver for four months.
You're not going to
change his mind in a day.
Watch me.
(door clunks open)
(upbeat electronic music)
(door squeaks open)
(door closes)
(grunts)
No, no, no, no. Back up, back up, back up.
-Leon, Leon, Leon. -LEON: I have it.
-Jesus. -I have it, I have it.
(grunts, gasps) Are you okay, hun?
(traffic humming)
Eh... maybe me and her could lift you?
Or, er, maybe you could
shimmy down on your arse?
Okay, then.
(knocks on door)
LEON: How are you?
Can I borrow yous for a minute?
Yeah, I... I need... I need
a hand with something,
yeah, something needs lifting.
It's just... yeah, him in
the... in the wheelchair.
Yeah, try not to drop him.
(speaks Polish?)
Nice one, thank you, guys.
Okay.
Yeah, thank you, I owe yous.
(dove cooing)
Where's... where's Leon? Leon.
Go back, will you, please.
Quick.
(wheelchair trundling) (Iver grunting)
What do you care anyways, if you're never
going to see them again?
We're taking the car.
No, we're not, that's the point.
We're taking the sun.
Look, these are the only wheels you need.
What is it you always say?
There's nothing like the heat in our bones
and the sun on our face.
Maria, will you get your car, please?
We... we wouldn't fit, it's a two-seater.
A little sporty yoke?
-It's a Smart car. -(laughing)
What, one of them little half-cars
with the square arse? (chuckles)
Here, the ad for them should be,
"Never has Smart looked so stupid."
IVER: Just cross the road, will you?
I don't want those two
old ones faffing over me.
(birds singing)
(upbeat electronic music)
-LEON: Doo, doo, doo, doo. -Be careful.
(Iver groans)
(upbeat music continues)
(people laughing, chatting)
You can never have too much potassium.
No, actually you can.
It leads to nausea, numbness,
fatigue and heart palpitations.
What are you, a f*cking doctor?
(upbeat music continues)
Leon, stop chewing in my ear.
Oh, that's lovely.
(siren blaring distantly)
(wheels trundling)
Will you get it on the footpath?
(whistles) Adam!
Let's get Odin tacked up for a jaunt.
I'm not getting up on a horse.
I'll get up with you.
You need to listen to Iver.
Otherwise he'll have to go home.
You don't own him.
(caws like a crow)
(Iver groans)
Stop.
Stop, Leon.
Hold... hold on, hold on a minute.
Okay, hold on, here we go.
(grunts)
(upbeat music continues) There you are.
(Iver groans)
Leon, get on that footpath.
(Leon laughing)
(exhales sharply)
He can't go up on a horse today.
Jesus Christ.
(chuckles)
I'm... I'm saying that as a doctor.
I'm his carer.
As long as he's not in a hood, right?
I'll help you, I'll help you hold on.
You're not strong enough
to make him hold on.
Yes I am, and I will.
Iver...
you're not able to get up on a horse.
You're not able for any of this.
You should go home.
(sighs)
We'll just go for the
bit of banter and say hi.
And don't be pretending this is about me.
This is about you trying
to get a sniff of Anita.
(insects chirping)
(soft music)
(birds twittering)
-(Iver grunts) -How are the lads?
-Are you alright? -Alright, Adam.
-f*cking Iver. -IVER: Hmm.
Marko, you've had a fight with a lawnmower?
What's happening, fellas?
Alright, boys. Derry, how are you?
Yeah, your ma owes me a new pair of socks.
Them last ones didn't f*cking last a week.
-Jeez man, look at you. -Jesus, you, Iver,
you look f*cked. -(laughs wheezily)
f*cking say what you see. (chuckles)
You'll have to give us a go on your wheels.
Oh, my f*cking God.
-Ah, he's no motor, lads.
Why didn't you get him one with a motor?
(laughs) That's a good idea, that.
This is my friend, Maria.
Oh, really? Yeah.
Oh, will I bring her up on there
and show her the pigeons?
Do I want to see some pigeons?
The loft is worth a look.
I'll show you, this way.
Johnny. (sparring noise)
Fighting fit. -Oh, still man, yeah.
-Are you training? -Yeah, man.
Yeah?
Will I get them ready for you, yeah?
Yeah, will you? Are you alright?
Yeah, man, fine.
Yeah, go get Odin, good man.
(horse whinnies)
Hiya.
Oh, beautiful.
Hiyas, lads.
-Great to see you out. -How are you, love?
How are you feeling?
I'm grand.
Anita, this is Maria.
-Hiya, Maria. -Hi, good to meet you.
Hey, Leon.
You're getting burnt.
Yeah, you know, it's the... the sun.
He's not burnt, he's blushing.
Hey, f*ck off, Marko.
Will you just get the ride on? (laughs)
Use your Viking horn.
True.
F-U-C-K-I-N-G.
(boys laughing)
-How's Danu? -He's good now,
had him out for a wander yesterday,
not bother on him.
Nice.
Anita's running the show now.
Yep, she'll have the place
full of hippy crystals in no time.
(chuckles)
Are yis going out?
Yeah, we're going to take Odin out
for a jaunt. -Yeah, yeah,
Sean's been keeping him fit.
Hey, do you want to see him?
Go on.
He was real galloping yesterday.
She likes you.
Ah, yeah, she's only human.
(chuckles)
(gags)
LEON: Nice.
(quiet thud)
-Iver. -Oh, my God.
Iver?
f*cking hell, Iver.
Get up.
Okay, Iver, Iver.
(smacks Iver's back)
(grunts, coughs)
-Okay Iver, okay. -(grunts)
Okay, there you go, you're okay.
Alright? There we go.
Careful now, alright now.
Gently, gently.
(Iver wheezing)
You're alright, okay.
There you go.
-Okay, okay now.
There you go. (wheezes)
What meds is he on?
Erm...
Er...
Can you give him something?
I've brought everything.
Best left as is.
Let's just...
we'll just leave him for a minute.
Then we'd better go back home.
(horse chomping)
Well, I'm out of the chair now, anyway.
('Boys in the Better
Land' by Fontaines D.C.)
(laughs)
You're not alive
until you start kicking
When the room is spinning
and the words aren't sticking
And the radio's all
about a runaway model
With a face like sin
and a heart like a James Joyce novel
Saying sister, sister how
I missed ya, missed ya
Let's go wrist to wrist
and take the skin off of my blister
If you're a rockstar,
pornstar, superstar,
doesn't matter what you are
Get yourself a good car, get outta here
But the boys in the better land
You're always talking 'bout
the boys in the better land
The boys in the better land
(church bell chimes)
ANITA: Hang on.
Hey, erm...
(speaking inaudibly)
(horse whinnies in background)
Yeah, see you later.
What was all that about?
Sean, she wants me to have a word.
She thinks he's running for Cleggs.
Yeah, well, that went well, didn't it?
Eh?
Come on, you loved it.
Leon, ask Anita out and treat her right.
Just don't make the same mistakes I did.
I'm going to go and find Terry.
Stables done, now pint, and then home.
(laughs) Iver, first pint in six months.
It's gonna be epic.
You're going to fall out
of your chair after a sip.
(chuckles)
(upbeat music)
Hey, do you remember that
time Cleggs found a dead eel?
Just... just up here, he did.
He thought it was a snake.
(chuckles) Muppet.
It's probably a seagull
dropped it or something.
Or it was trying to escape from the river.
The state that was in, eh?
People swim in that, you know?
Leon's promised me he's
gonna learn how to swim,
will you, Leon?
I don't like water in my ears.
And he's going to apply
for the music course.
Yeah, you know er, Iver once carried a goat
from Arko to Avoca,
for a bet, for Gudrun.
Who's Gudrun?
She's his true love.
Yeah. (chuckles)
See, he doesn't deny it.
(chortles)
(upbeat guitar music)
(door opens)
How are you, Jimmy?
Have you missed us?
Ah, like a hole in the head.
Give us one of your finest
pints ever, for the big man,
and, er, an orange and a toasted special.
Make that two oranges and toasties, yeah?
JIMMY: As lovely as your
hairy n*pples are, Leon,
you'll have to put your top on.
Food's being served.
Iver's got it under his head.
f*ck's sake.
(chuckles)
(Maria laughs)
-Is that alright? -Ooh, classy, yeah.
Yeah.
No f*cking way.
Here you go, Iver.
That's you, okay, head down.
(grunts)
That's better, thanks.
MARIA: Okay.
It's great to see you, Iver.
-You missed a great night...
-Stop shouting at him.
I'm sorry.
I was just saying, you missed a great night
at the Viking Recon party.
Stop telling him what he missed.
Will you stop telling
him what to stop doing?
You should have gone.
Go on, Jimmy.
Ah, it was stupid messy in the end.
The Berserkers crew were showing off
to a crowd of visiting Swedish lads.
Ended up getting arrested
for swinging a sword around
Supermacs at three in the morning.
(laughs wheezily)
I'd best go water this group of savages.
Okay, thanks.
(quietly) Yeah.
(Iver grunts)
Yeah.
Let's get your head
a bit higher up, here you go.
-(grunts) -Okay.
Yeah, thanks.
Okey-doke.
Yeah, look at that.
-(Iver grunts) -LEON: A pint of the finest.
(grunts)
(satisfied sigh)
(gulping)
Oh. (sighs)
Good?
Mm-hmm.
-LEON: Hey... -f*ck.
-MARIA: Okay. -BOTH: You're alright.
-LEON: Okay, I'm sorry. -I'm sorry.
No, you're alright.
(sighs) sh*t.
Yeah, I... I can get you
a straw, if it's easier, like?
You can't drink Guinness from a straw,
you'll miss the head.
-I need the bog. -Do you need a hand?
-Yes. -No.
(grunts)
-There you go.
-Leon, just let me get in there
for a sec.
Thanks. Just there, it's okay.
Okay Iver, you're fine there.
There we go, just a moment.
Okey-dokey,
other side... alright,
there you go.
Could you lift his legs for me?
There we go, thank you.
Other side, yeah?
Iver, we're going to
get your trousers down.
We're going to lean you to one
side, and then the other, okay?
(trousers unzipped) There you go.
Okay, over that way.
There we go, yeah, over to me.
Okay.
(Iver grunts loudly) -Well done.
Well done, nearly there, nearly there.
(grunting, sighing)
Okey-doke.
LEON: Yeah.
Here we go. -(grunts)
Okay.
One... two... three... up.
Yep.
(grunts)
All good, Iver.
Slowly down. (Iver groans in pain)
-Alright? -Yeah.
Okay?
Please. (sighs with exhaustion)
I do need to go.
That's the medication.
(tap runs)
-Ah... -Ah, ha, ha, like a rhino.
(chuckles)
(urinating)
(laughing)
LEON: What?
What is it?
Years ago in Wicklow,
we were filming,
and the camera dolly broke,
so some of the crew
borrowed a wheelchair
from... the local boozer.
We kept it all day, using it as a dolly.
And at the end of the day,
I brought it back to the pub,
and they told me to give
it back to the legless fella.
So, when I went in, there was a guy...
(chuckling)
at the bar...
he was plastered,
and I was trying to give it to him,
when a voice behind me said,
"Hey, that's my wheelchair."
(laughing hard)
And he actually was legless.
(laughing hard)
He was a double amputee.
(both laughing)
I ended up bringing him to the bog,
and helping him on and off.
And helping him tuck himself away.
(sighs)
I wanted to give him a smack in the face.
D'you finish?
Right.
(snoring softly)
Can I ask who Terry is?
He never mentioned...
Well, if he didn't mention it,
I can't.
Fair enough, it's just...
It's just his ex-wife.
Oh.
Did you ever regret doing one of these?
-You mean an exit? -Yeah.
No.
Do any of the family
ever stay while you do it?
Generally it's people that don't
want to involve their families
or their loved ones that call me.
Yeah, but what about...?
(phone vibrates)
Hello, darling.
No, one present, we said.
Well, all bars are rectangles in a way.
Oh, you mean triangle, that's a Toblerone.
Uh... yes, I will,
but only if Georgia tells
me you've been good.
Have you?
(chuckles) Hmm.
Let me talk to her.
You have my permission to lock him up.
What colour are his poos?
Ah, he'll be fine, it's
only food colouring.
You're a gem, Georgia.
Bye-bye darling.
Cuddles tomorrow.
(chuckles)
That little fella, your son?
No, it's my grandson.
Yeah, get your Toblerones on Meath Street.
They'll rip you off in the airport.
Is Georgia your daughter, then?
No, child-minder.
I don't have a daughter.
I had a son, Noel.
Do you have kids?
Nah.
You have to want kids, don't you?
I mean most people want theirs.
I don't think my ma ever wanted me.
I think she was delighted
when I was taken off her.
Freed her up.
She's in Thailand now, supposedly,
with some fella.
Not me dad, obviously. I never met him.
But what if the family
did want to be there?
Well... that's up to Iver.
I don't think I could.
That's alright, that's why I'm here.
LEON: I don't want to
feel like the Angel of Death.
I believe it's the right thing to do.
It's a kindness.
But why?
You're like a...
carrion crow, feeding off the dead.
No, that's a vulture.
Crows scavenge.
Well, like a f*cking vulture, then.
Do you know what it's
like to watch a loved one die
a long, slow, agonising death?
I do this so no-one has to do that.
Well, the woman in the motor neuron group,
she said that it's always
them that don't have it,
that think that those that do, want to die,
but that's not true.
They actually want to live.
And that's why they get
the breathing machines
and stuff, because they'd
do anything to keep going.
I'm not saying that everyone
with a terminal illness
should buy a hood.
I'm just saying that those that choose to,
and I believe it is their right,
shouldn't have to die alone.
But someone has to find
them with the f*cking hood on?
I can't help that.
I'm trying to help the dying,
not those left behind.
Leon...
imagine the road Iver's looking down.
Imagine how scary it is
to think that one wee glob of sputum
could block up his trachea
and he wouldn't be able to call for help?
And he'd die alone and suffering.
If you really love him,
you'll make it easier for him, not harder.
You're lucky you get the chance.
(footsteps receding)
(ethereal music)
(breathing peacefully)
Iver...
I get it.
You need to go.
But just come and see our show first,
right, that's all I'm asking.
What show?
I've been working on
something for your birthday.
Come where?
Can't you do it at mine?
No, all the stuff is at my gaff.
And I'll head after?
But we had a good day?
You know, I'm... I'm... I did
anyway, I'm glad we did it.
So am I.
It got me more ready.
Yeah, and me.
It's not all about you, you know.
(both chuckling)
I need reminding.
A show.
You're a dose.
But a good one.
Slinte.
Maria, I've been thinking.
Oh, dangerous.
You're not like a crow or a vulture.
You're more like a robin...
on a spade.
Maria...
there's been a slight change of plan.
We're going to see a show
in Leon's, and then home.
Well, let's go.
(slurps loudly)
I'd love a cigarette.
(clicks) Come on, then.
Jimmy.
Iver bought me a dodgy lighter.
Must be a knock-off.
Alright, Leon.
Alright, Deano.
Alright, Iver.
Alright?
Anything doing?
What would I have doing?
I dunno...
something...
nothing?
(birds twittering)
How's your girlfriend?
She's good.
She's getting her baby back.
Well, that's good, eh, that's great.
I could sponsor you,
the way Iver did me.
You could be a dad.
Me sponsor, yeah?
We don't have to do the Viking stuff.
I mean, pick whatever god you want,
just a higher power, like.
Cool.
Would you sponsor me now, like?
Some cash?
(chuckles)
It's not going to help you.
f*cking poxy clean c**t.
(dramatic music)
LEON: Here, er, true story, this.
So, there was this pigeon
in, er, Bournemouth, right?
And, er, and his lost his feet.
Some fella found him.
He was in a heap, right? And er...
Didn't our man stick a pair
of, er, GI Joe boots on him,
on the pigeon.
(laughs) I've seen it on YouTube.
And he's been walking
around Bournemouth, right?
And he's like... he's like this.
With these big steel boots on him,
you know what I mean?
(laughing)
Oh, man.
MARIA: Bournemouth?
Yeah, I know, yeah, random, isn't it?
Yeah.
LEON: Yeah.
Is that where they make the chocolate?
(chuckling)
More steps.
Yeah, I've got this.
(ramp clunks into place)
(sighs)
Yeah. Thank you.
-Yup. -(grunts loudly)
(groans) Come on.
-Hey, Iver. -Alright, Angela.
(groans)
(clattering)
(makes screeching brakes
sound) Chicane, yeah, done.
(Iver grunts)
Yes, there we are, throwing the weights.
I'll stay in the chair, Leon.
Oh come on, it's all
set up, it's really comfy.
It's too difficult.
It's not, we'll manage.
Maria can have the chair.
I'll make the post-show refreshments.
-Are you sure? -Thanks.
Alright man, you're the boss.
(plug clicks)
Let there be light.
Now...
Excuse us.
Yeah, that's better. (rubber glove snaps)
Eyes on the screen, yeah?
(plug clicks)
(projector whirs then stops)
Oh, f*ck.
Trip-switch, I'd say?
Don't be turning stuff on in there.
-I'm only making tea. -f*ck the tea,
this needs everything now.
Fuse box, that's it.
Ah, oh come on, come
one, come on, come on...
f*ck, f*ck.
(high tempo music)
Er, just bear with me one moment.
Here we go. Don't go anywhere.
(tools rattle)
ANGELA: Leon, who's that, his girlfriend?
He never said he had a fancy woman.
He doesn't, she's a doctor.
Any chance you could
take a quick look at me foot?
(plug clicks) Yes.
Alright.
(projector beeps, whirs)
Now...
It was, er... it was
supposed to be Saturday.
So, you know, i... i... it needs
a few more run throughs.
I was going to do a load more run throughs.
It'll be great.
And, err... well, it
was a... (clears throat)
It's a song for your birthday,
and... and to celebrate that,
and also to... try and say, er...
thank you... for all that...
well, for everything you've done,
and, and, you know, for... (clears throat)
turning me life around,
and, er...(sniffs)
for sponsoring me, getting me clean,
helping me give up the gear.
Oh shut up, and get on with it.
Well, we'll... we'll give it a go, will we?
Go on.
(Leon exhales)
(plays keyboard, steady note)
Now, I've taken beatings,
but Iver... f*ck.
(clears throat)
Here we go again.
(plays keyboard, steady note)
Now, I've taken beatings,
but, you, you were different.
You helped me back up on me feet.
Instead of the forecourts,
I took a 12-step course,
with you sponsoring me.
A giant of a man with
the gentlest of souls.
From Ballinasloe, you once carried a foal
all the way to Ballymun.
I changed them, er, er, the place names,
because I thought it sounded...
er, it sounded better this way, you know,
err, oh, and I got... I got
this deadly, erm, loop pedal
that... that, when I... when I hit it,
it will layer up all these
different sounds, you know,
and give it, er...
kind of builds it up, you know what I mean?
(plays keyboard, steady
note) Er... a giant of a man...
(clears throat) A giant of a man
with the gentlest of souls.
From Ballinasloe, you once carried a foal
all the way to Ballymun,
cradled in your arms like
your own newborn son.
You took me in, took me under your wing,
Forgave me me sins, I just did your bins.
You took me in
Took me under your wing
You took me in
Took me under your wing
You forgave me me sins
And I just did your bins
(slight mic feedback)
The needle was there
When no-one else cared
And blood doesn't
run thicker than water
I never knew what I could do
You showed me
You showed me how to live for the now
You saved me
(electricity zaps) Ah, f*ck!
f*ck! f*cking thing.
f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck. f*ck, f*ck.
Ah, sh*t, sh*t. sh*t.
Ah, f*ck it.
Leon, just let me in there.
Give it. There. It's okay.
(panicked breathing)
What were you shaking your head for?
Oh, were they not working either?
Bollocks!
-It was great, Leon. -I hardly got started.
It was all ab... it was all
about you and your life.
-I get it. -And... and, er...
I... I was trying to...
well, I'm saying thanks,
and that I think you're deadly.
-I get it, Leon.
And, er, how like you're like a myth
you know, Iver the Viking, Iver the Great.
Yeah, but you're nodding now, you were...
you were shaking your head before.
You'll want to cop yourself on.
You think I'm the only
good thing in your life.
It was you who got off the gear.
You got the carer's cert.
You looked after me, day in and day out.
I should be writing the song for you.
I was a selfish b*stard before I met you.
You saved me.
You can't hear it, because it's never been
told to you before.
That's what I was trying to say
with the Zippo... and the note.
Goodbye...
and good man.
-Leon? -It's not true.
Leon, I need to know that
you get what I'm saying...
before I go.
If I'm so great, why
were you going to f*ck off
without saying goodbye?
Come on Leon, stop.
What if I said you couldn't go?
Stop.
-What if I beg you not to? -We agreed this.
No, we agreed you'd go after the show,
but you haven't seen your show yet.
You'll have to wait till Saturday.
I'm not waiting.
I can't.
I'm going today.
I'm not ready.
That's why I asked Maria to come.
f*ck you, f*ck your Zippo.
Leon, stop.
You're a f*cking chicken, Iver.
There'll be no Valhalla for you.
You'll get over me going.
Get over yourself.
You're not the big man you think you are.
You're a... you're a f*cking
crippled c**t of a coward.
-Leon. -f*ck off!
Do what you f*cking want,
and I'll do the same.
Leon...
Are you alright?
(melancholic electronic music)
(ramp clattering)
Leon, Leon.
Leon.
(background street chatter)
(panting)
Are you alright?
He's not coming back, you know.
(tearfully) I know, Leon.
You have to own this sh*t.
He won't be on the end
of the blower or nothing.
(horse snorts softly)
It's hard to see him fading.
(sniffs)
(kissing)
Jesus, Leon.
Sorry. (crying)
(footsteps receding)
Leon.
(high tempo electronic music)
(car horn beeps)
(railing rattles)
MARIA: He didn't mean all those things.
He was right about the sneaking away.
The cowardice.
Don't.
I'm glad we went out.
So am I.
And Leon had the day.
It'll help him to heal after.
So...
are you sure you want to go ahead?
There's someone else I
want to say something to.
Terry...
my ex-wife.
Do you want to make her a video?
I don't want her to see me like this.
Well, we could just record your voice?
Okay... when you're ready.
Terry...
I know it's weird to hear
from me after all these years,
but I haven't been too well,
and I wanted to say
some things before I go.
Am I slurring bad?
Let me hear.
Terry...
I know it's weird to hear from me...
I sound pissed.
but I haven't...
You...
you say it to me,
and I'll type it up and...
I'll make sure she gets it, okay?
(metal door squeaks)
(dramatic music)
(door squeaks open)
Hi, Leon.
Sort us out.
What about your Viking?
Sort us 4Qs and I'll pay you later.
Everyone knows not to ask for credit.
f*cking give it us,
Cleggs, or I will cut you up.
(scuffling, grunting)
You can go round thinking
you're cleaner than everybody else,
but you're a filthy f*ck,
really, and that sick Viking,
he read you proper.
He's getting his money's worth.
He doesn't even pay to abuse you,
the way everyone else did.
So, here, here's your gear.
At least you know who you are around that.
Now, f*ck off.
Okay, I'll just leave it
in Times New Roman.
What?
The font, I'll leave as is,
or would you prefer a different font?
Jesus Maria, I just want to get this done.
I couldn't give a shite about the font.
Terry... (keyboard clacking)
I'm writing this before I die.
I'm writing this before I...
I'm writing this because
I've wanted to say it
for a long time.
I'm sorry, Terry...
for everything I did.
I'm a different man now.
There was a baby...
but he died.
I didn't know how to...
I didn't know how to deal with all the...
sadness.
All the crying.
She used to fit right in under my chin,
when we danced.
I was so angry when the baby died.
(sighs heavily)
I behaved like a...
a b*stard in that house.
I'm sorry, Terry...
for everything I did.
I hope you fo... found
happiness after I left.
(laptop closes)
(huffing and puffing)
(sniffing)
MARIA: Try him one more time.
Regrets are a terror to live with.
Well, I won't be living with them.
He will, though.
I'm dead tired, Maria.
I know.
Just... one last time.
He's better off free of me.
Will you try again, to make sure he's okay?
If you try him one more time.
(sighs heavily)
(phone engaged tone)
Will you turn on the gas?
You know I can't do that.
It's only helium, sure.
I won't tell if you don't.
Tell me three stories about Noel
that I don't know already.
One...
Noel once had a cow's tooth as a pet.
He kept it in a tiny
wee glass jar of water,
and he called it "Toothy".
I never opened it until about
three years after he died.
Indescribable stench,
ten times worse than gangrene.
(laughs)
Two...
Noel and I used to collect
the wee stickers on apples.
No matter where he was,
if he found a new one,
he would put it on a
postcard and send it home.
(bag rustling)
Alright?
(ominous music)
(slaps arm)
(lighter flicks, hisses)
(lighter flicks)
(breeze blowing) (seagulls crying)
(youngsters chattering)
(pigeons cooing)
MARIA: Three...
when Noel was five, he said to me one day,
"Mum...
your heart is my home,
and I'm like your playground."
(melancholic music)
(gas hissing)
(plastic rustles)
(gasping)
Oh, for f*ck's sake.
(panting)
(traffic rumbling)
(birds singing)
You gave me life,
so I'll give you death, a proper one.
Be a friend's true friend.
Return gift for gift, right?
You know that whole
bloody Havamal off by heart.
(wheelchair clunks)
MARIA: Are you sure about this?
IVER: Leon has it all figured out.
And you're doing it for you, not him?
Nothing like heat in your bones,
and the sun on your face.
Is that from the Havamal?
(laughs) Terry used to say it all the time.
(wheelchair clanks)
IVER: Thanks for everything.
(boot closes)
(car door closes)
If he gets one, I want one.
(kiss)
I always wanted me ma to do that.
Well, my Noel used to hate it.
I always wanted him to pick
me up and swing me round.
(shrieks, laughs)
(both laughing) You.
Bye.
(car door closes)
(car engine starts)
(dramatic music)
(electronic music)
(trees rustling)
(car approaching)
(brakes squeak)
Best get cracking.
Yeah.
Your Zippo is in my pocket.
Sorry I threw it at you.
I love it.
(lighter clicks)
(birds singing)
-(giggles) -Is that your tickle spot?
(chuckling)
Oh, man, I'm only finding it now.
I could have had you tormented.
(Iver grunts)
(quietly) Oh, yeah.
You look deadly.
(scoffs)
Can you tell it's a hand?
Yeah. It looks like a pawprint.
If you came towards me
in battle, I'd sh*t meself.
(Iver laughs)
Well, I'm not going into battle.
You're just brave enough to call it.
Any old c**t can fight.
There she is.
Your true love waiting for you.
(Iver chuckles)
You're never going to lift me in.
I will, yeah.
I'll be able to do it.
It's the way deaf mothers lift cars.
What goes on in your brain?
(grunting)
(sighs)
I just need to...
I need to get it in there,
and bend me knees.
-Just tip me in. -What?
Tip me in, like you're
emptying a wheelbarrow.
No, that'll hurt.
Life hurts.
Come on.
Alright.
Okay... here we go.
Oh, God.
(grunts, wheezes)
(laughs) -Are you alright?
(laughter)
Oh, you're a mad b*stard.
(stick snapping)
(grunts)
(oars splash)
(groans)
(water rippling)
Right, let's scoot you down.
IVER: Okay.
Okay...
(grunts)
(slaps arm)
The irony.
Yeah. (chuckles)
You know, life is mental, isn't it?
And you're certain this'll do the job?
There's enough in here to k*ll two men.
Yeah, but you're not...?
And you'll do something with your music?
I've left a will, you'll have the means.
And you'll talk to Sean, yeah?
I love you.
I love you, too. (crying)
(sniffs)
You ready?
-I was ready at noon today. -(chuckles)
This is better, isn't it?
Yeah, I'm ready as well.
For now and after.
Well, then, no more faffing.
Valhalla, here I come.
(crying)
(melancholic music)
(petrol sloshes)
(sniffs)
(lighter clicks)
(flames crackle)
(splash)
(gulps, gasps)
(music swells)
(uptempo music)
(fire crackles)
(children laughing, chattering)
(plug clicks)
(bass drum sounds)
(sighs)
(sighs) Oh, courage, truth.
I've, er, I've two Polish friends,
but I needa check, one, two.
Check, one, two.
(clears throat)
So, erm...
this is a song...
about my best friend, Iver.
Er...
he was me mentor and... and me sponsor,
and a father figure,
and loads more as well as that.
And, err...(clears throat)
He never got to hear this song,
but...
I know he's listening now.
Iver?
(loud beat kicks in) (harmonica playing)
(whistling)
The Pope is lighting candles,
in the Phoenix park.
Shove your candles up your hole,
keeping everybody in the dark.
Thought I'd found a friend
But it was all in vain
Thought I'd found a cure
All I found was more pain
Then I heard a voice in me ear
Forgive yourself and have no fear
Pick me up by the scruff
From the rough into the clear
Iver lit the way for me
Broke me chains and set me free
Iver, the life-saver
(cacophony of music)
(joyous music, cathedral bells)
Oh, wow
Iver, you still owe me a fiver.
"Iver, Saviour" composed by
Seamus Fogarty, Barry Ward
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