01x05 - Slypharis

[bunniefuu]

[bluesy rock music playing]

♪ Your lust is a liar ♪

♪ Your ditch is deep ♪

♪ Put your hand to the fire ♪

♪ Soon you're gonna bleed ♪

[song shuts off]

[laughing]

I can't believe you.

You did such an amazing job.

That's two carats, baby.

Look at that. Look at
it in the sunlight.

- You better post that on Insta.
- [laughs]

Oh, gosh.

I love it.

[engine rumbling]

[Malik] Can't be serious, bro.

That's a choice. [chuckles]

The f*ck?

Baby?

Let's just come back.

- Nah, f*ck that.
- Malik!

[Malik] Hey, brother,
what's up, man?

How you doing?

I'm chillin' here with my girl,

and I just proposed,
you know what I mean?

Condolences, man.

Look, you think you could give us
the lake for just, like, an hour?

It's public property,
bro, come on.

I'll buy you some
big-a*s mud flaps.

Just don't be a d*ck.

- [shouts]
- [gasps]

[Zoe] Malik!

Hillbilly m*therf*cker!

Malik, stop it! Stop it!

Stop! Malik!

Stop! Stop! Stop it!

Stop!

[shouts]

[Malik] What the f*ck was that?

What is that?

[screams]

[gasping]

Baby?

Baby?

Baby. Baby...

[menacing music playing]

[screaming]

[upbeat country music playing]

♪ Walking in the
streets of this town... ♪

[Trish] Oh. Hey, Lucky.

[clears throat] You
doing all right?

Oh, I'm aces, Trish.

Never been better.

♪ I keep waiting
and hesitating ♪

♪ To take her away... ♪

[exhales]

Hey, boss, before I put
this order in with Sysco,

uh, are we canceling
the Hog Roast Hoe Down?

Now why would we do that?

[line cook] It's just...

um, people were assuming...

'cause of what happened.

[chuckles] Okay.

Okay, let's talk
about what happened.

Hub Halloran set me up!

And it didn't f*cking work.

So anyone assuming
I'm down for the count

can pack their sh*t up

and follow Maryanne
out the door.

♪ And when she left... ♪

No takers.

Okay.

You hungry?

I can have the kitchen
fire you up something?

That ugly-a*s green
pickup out front.

That's yours, right?

It was a birthday
gift from my dad.

How much you want for it?

Um...

♪ Looking for a place
you might be found ♪

- [birds singing]
- [insects trilling]

[somber music playing]

♪ ♪

Night, Ed.

Love you.

[suspenseful music playing]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[fingers snapping]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

f*ck me.

[upbeat song playing]

♪ ♪

[chuckling]

♪ Please give me your attention,
I got a message for you ♪

[i]♪ For you ♪

[i]♪ This is a new direction ♪

[i]♪ Just hear me out till I'm through ♪
- [humming]

♪ I'm through, I'm through ♪

[i]♪ I know you take your time,
but the rhythm's so fine... ♪

[laughs maniacally]

Ooh, no! No, no!

[laughs]

Ooh... [imitates expl*si*n]

This is my favorite.

Oh...

you are beautiful.

God job, Midge. That
one's beautiful.

- [timer dings]
- [i]♪ Now shake it my way ♪

- [i]♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
- ♪ Now shake it my way... ♪

Midge, you coming or what?

Yep, sorry.

I'll be right out.

[indistinct chatter]

Hi.

Girl, stop working
at your own party.

My love language.

- Well, this is mine.
- Oh.

And Mom made Dad spring for
the good Prosecco, so...

bottoms up.

- All right.
- [glass clanging]

Thanks for being
here to celebrate

Midge Kusatsu being
named Atlanta's

best new pastry chef.

- [cheering]
- [whooping]

Now, we all know my daughter
and I have had issues

with her life choices.

Stand-up comedy?

Cheaper than sending
you my therapy bill.

- [guests chuckling]
- [Joe] I'm just glad you found something

that you're actually good at.

I love you, too, Dad.

To Love Bites.

[all] To Love Bites!

Love Bites.

[Aiko] Help!

Help! Benji stopped breathing!

He's not breathing!

- Is he choking?
- I don't know!

Come on, Benji.
Come on, Benji baby.

Benji, breathe for Mommy.

Breathe for Mommy,
come on, you can do it.

Benji, come on.

Just breathe, just breathe.

Okay, okay, okay.

The lymphoma started suddenly
and is spreading so quickly.

It's in his lungs and-and
we need treatment now.

Pl-Please, it's...

it's a covered procedure.

[insurance rep] [i]Under our
platinum coverage, yes.

[i]But you have our bronze plan.

What do I have to do?

The hospital won't
schedule the procedure

without your pre-authorization.

Are you still there?

[i]Yes, ma'am.

My baby's life is in your hands.

So I-I will pay you back
every cent, I promise.

And I, I will sign whatever it is
that you want me to sign, just...

[exhales]

Please, help us.

[i]Have you tried speaking
with your bank?

[breathing shakily]

Thank you.

I tried, but Benji isn't eating.

Please, Mom, just keep trying.

[bargain hunter] Hey,
how much for this?

Uh... one fifty.

Oh, um...

one hundred fifty.

For a rolling pin?

That is handcrafted from marble.

Worth 900.

Look, I really, really need the
cash to treat my kid's cancer, so...

Congratulations on
getting such a steal.

[paper shuffling]

Thank you.

[whispers] One fifty...

[exhales]

[dark music playing]

[quietly] What are you?

- [computer chimes]
- [leprechaun over computer] [i]H-Hey.

[i]When hardships weigh heavy
and life's but a frig,

[i]no need's too small,
no dream's too big.

[i]Say bye to your worry,
hello to your goal.

[i][laughs] Fill me out
to sell your soul.

[i]Ha, ha!

[i]H-Hey!

[i]- When hardships weigh heavy...
- Damn it.

- H-Hey! When hardships weigh heavy...
- sh*t.

- ...and life's... H-Hey!
- Come on.

When hardships weigh heavy...

[i]...and life's but a frig, no need's
to small, no dream's too big.

The f*ck?

[i]Say bye to...

[i]Fill me out to sell your soul.

[i]Ha, ha!

[i]Fill me out to sell your soul.

[i]Ha, ha! Fill me out
to sell your soul.

[i]Ha, ha!

[i]Fill me out to sell
your soul. Ha, ha!

[i]Fill me out to sell
your soul. Ha, ha!

[i]Fill me out to sell your soul.

[i]- Ha, ha!
- [demonic laughter]

[upbeat music playing]

[horn honking]

[engine stops]

[Cosmo] Midge Kusatsu?

Ali Khan, Pot O' Gold. But
my friends call me Cosmo.

How did you people
know my son was sick?

Straight to it, huh?
All right, cool, cool.

Totally gonna hook you
up with all the answers,

but first, your phone
line works, right?

Need someplace to jack this in.

I'm broke, so if this is a scam,
then you are wasting your time.

Pot O' Gold's the
real deal, all right?

Saved me from the gallows and got me
hitched to that smoke show over there.

Blow us a kiss, Sunshine.

Eat me, fascist.

Been married 54 years and she's
still mad I voted for Thatcher.

One time.

Can you believe that?

Your corporate health plan will
cover my baby starting immediately?

Yes, it will.

Well, then, Cosmo...

I'll pretend to believe
whatever you say.

Shall we?

Yeah.

[Cosmo whistling]

Are your terms of
sales listed correctly?

Boss man's a stickler for the
rules. He'll hold you to it.

Um, "For Benji to be cured."

Yep. That's what it says.

[Cosmo] Groovy. Then we'll
get this done and fax it in.

Who still uses faxes?

Only way to reach Corporate.
Pot O' Gold's old-school.

When I started,
it was telegrams.

Oh. And friendly tip:

When Benji suddenly gets better
and people start asking how,

d-don't mention Pot O'
Gold or your new job.

Not unless you like a
bit of trouble. [laughs]

What exactly i-is my new job?

Ah. Recruiting, mostly.

Later on, we might throw
HR headaches at you,

like processing returns

or supervising bondsmen,
sh*t like that.

But starting out, you'll be selling
miracles in exchange for souls.

And I will be great at
pretending to believe that,

but just to set expectations...

...I'm horrible at sales.

I got fired from the Gap.

Hmm.

Then start with
low-hanging fruit.

Yeah, that's what
me and Sunshine did.

We used to stake out
courthouses, hospitals.

Total bummer, but easiest
way to meet your quota.

- E-Excuse me, my quota?
- [exhales]

The minimum number of souls you
must collect per demonic cycle.

We'll fax you the details.

But a third will get credited
to me, as your supervisor.

Just like I kick up a third to mine, and
whoever you sign will kick up to you.

Pot O' Gold is a pyramid scheme?

We prefer "multilevel
marketing."

And the key to closing any deal

is to understand your
recruit's motives.

Fame and fortune or...

eternal youth and good looks.

But the best motive is love.

- Love?
- Fastest path to Hell.

Selling your soul to
help someone you love.

Look, I know that I said I would
pretend to believe whatever, but...

Uh, it's cool. It's cool.
I totally get it. Listen.

When I was sitting where you are, I
thought it was a load of bollocks, too.

[laughs] But look
at it this way.

If it is bollocks, your
son's no worse off, right?

But... if it's real...

...maybe you're dancing
at Benji's wedding

instead of burying him
before his first birthday.

[gasps softly]

[tense music playing]

[laughs softly]

Thumbprint in the box.

Ow. Jesus.

In the box.

So what now?

You'll keep this fax machine and you'll
fax in your collections as you go.

[beeping]

- [device whirring]
- [dialing]

[device chimes]

[dark music playing]

What is happening?

[device beeps]

Oh, yeah. Reflections are gonna be
trippy now you can see beyond the veil.

But you'll get used to it.

[♪ Squirrel Nut Zippers: "Hell"]

[hisses]

♪ In the afterlife ♪

[i]♪ You could be headed
for the serious strife... ♪

- "Benji, please."
- "No, help me."

- "Oh, my God!" [screams]
- [both laugh]

When you finish with the
labeling, go get changed.

Your auntie will be here
soon to pick you up.

- Do I have to?
- Mm. Benji Kusatsu,

your Tutu is counting on you.

I read her and her friends
the same book every week,

and they don't even remember.

But she loves you,

and she loves that you're there
and it's the kind thing to do.

- Mom...
- Hey. What do we say?

- "Love is the way, keep the Devil at bay."
- Words to live by.

Manny's mom says you're
a religious kook.

[Midge] Ah, well,

Manny's mom can come
and say that to my face.

- [laughs]
- [doorbell chiming]

Who is it?

Oh, it's, um,
someone I work with.

So, uh, finish up the batch,

and reme... one cookie
per batch you bake.

You have too many rules, Mom.

[sighs] Hey.

Finish up, get dressed.

♪ ♪

[i]♪ Oh, beauty,
talent, fame, money ♪

[i]♪ Refinement, job
skill and brain ♪

[i]♪ But all the things
you try to hide... ♪

- Get off my porch.
- Whoa. Whoa, whoa.

Easy, easy, now.

I-I'm just admiring your...

Benji, is it?

Looks like he's growing up fast.

I tell you not to call me,
so you show up at my home?

You need to see this.

Remember those sacrifices
that I told you about?

There's a pattern.

Then call the hotline.

A 1-900 number charging
ten bucks a minute?

No, I don't think so.

What do you expect? It's Hell.

Okay, look, I saw your
old crowdfund site

and the articles about
your son's... "miracle."

That's how they got you, right?

At first I thought that you'd
come back from the dead, too,

but now I'm thinking...

you did something,
to save Benji.

You don't know
anything about me.

I know that you're president of
the PTA, a deacon at your church.

It's hard to find a charity
that you don't volunteer for.

Somebody is looking
for redemption.

So what was it? Have to
poison some cupcakes?

No.

Well, you don't hunt demons, I'm
guessing, otherwise they wouldn't need me.

I collect signatures.

Just like someone
collected mine.

Oh.

Oh, sh*t.

I tried leaving, once.

Started ignoring their faxes,
fell behind on my quotas.

And then Benji's
cancer came back.

That's awful.

I'm sorry.

But that's why I'm here.

I think I found something
that can help us.

No, there is no "us."

"We" are not the same.
I saw your intake form.

No, you, you were condemned
to Hell for what you did,

but I chose it.

For love.

But we're both headed to
the same place, right?

And you can hide behind their corporate
signatures and quotas all you want,

but those are people that you
are delivering to the Devil.

So go ahead and get off your high
horse whenever it gets uncomfortable.

At least I didn't rope
my mother into it.

I did what I did
to protect my son,

just like I'm protecting
him now from you,

and from ever learning about
what it is "we" have to do.

And if you doubt how seriously
I take that responsibility,

then you have wildly
underestimated me.

Now...

...get the f*ck off my property
before I count to three

or I will send you
back to Hell myself.

One...

...two...

- [truck door closes]
- [engine starts]

[Hub] [i]She should
want to help me.

Pot O' Gold is
threatening her boy.

Well, I wouldn't know a
thing about how that feels.

[i]Yeah, but I'm talking about

twistin' a mama's love to
trap her into, you know...

Trap her into doing things she never
conceived possible on God's green Earth?

Yeah, uh, I'm sorry that I
got you mixed up in this.

[i]And, uh, I really do

appreciate you
sticking with me here.

So, thank you.

Well, ride or die, son. That's
what family's all about.

Ride or die, Mama.

Now hurry up and
get back to Landry.

This next demon broke through
at Lake Rovere hours ago,

and this one gives
me the willies.

Am I right? That it's
either fire or air?

Air. It's called a Slypharis, gives
its victims the "kiss of death."

Oof.

[phone chimes]

- Huh.
- What?

Oh, nothin'.

Maryanne's tracking my phone.

Guess that means she's
thinkin' about me, right?

[sighs] I think it means you're a
cheapskate who's still on her family plan.

Well, she says she was gonna
come back after all this is over.

Then step on it, lover boy.
I'm not getting any younger.

[exhales]

[brakes squeaking]

[dark, ominous music playing]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[birds singing]

- [branch cracks]
- [raven croaking]

[line ringing]

[Kitty] [i]Find anything?

Came through here, all right.

- Must be headed east.
[i]- Why east?

Because "air" is on the
right side of the pentagram.

So I'm gonna leapfrog ahead, s-see
if I can't make it come to me.

[i]- Well, how you gonna do that?
- The river is that way.

So, unless it's one
hell of a swimmer,

it's gonna have to cross
the Henderson Bridge.

[engine starts]

[tense music playing]

[insects trilling]

[woman sobbing]

[Zoe] Help. Help!

Please, please!

Please. [whimpers]

[sobbing] Please.

f*ck me.

[screaming]

[Zoe screaming]

Please do something! Please
do something! Don't hurt me!

[screaming]

sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.

- [growling]
- Please! Help me!

- Get me out of here!
- [hissing]

[g*nsh*t]

Help! Do something!

Hang on!

- [insects trilling]
- [wind blowing]

[cawing]

[groans]

[grunts]

[labored breaths]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[dark, dramatic music playing]

♪ ♪