02x17 - Four Body Problem

[bunniefuu]

MAN: We're not taking care
of the dead.

We're tending
to your cherished loved one.

No detail is too small.

No request is too big.

Sadly,

it's not uncommon for people
to have multiple weddings,

but we only get one funeral.

That's it.

It has to be perfect.

That is perfect.

WOMAN: And doves. Purple ones.

Excellent choice.

I will consult with the dove handlers.

Is it true Arthur Greene & Sons

sent Nichelle Nichols' ashes

- into space?
- The Star Trek actress?

Here at Arthur Greene & Sons,

we take our commitment
to discretion very seriously.

That's why some of the most
notable families trust us.

MAN: Like the Clintons?

Well, if that were true,

I know that my great-great-grandfather,

the first Arthur Greene,

would be pleased.
He started this funeral home in 1927,

serving Harlem's finest families.

He believed

a family's time to mourn
is both private and sacred.

He passed this tradition
down to his son,

who passed it down to my father,
who passed it down to me.

Does your dad still work here?

He's retired now.

[KNOCKING]

Hi, Pop-Pop.

Thought you might like a visit.

Russell.

How you doing, son?

I'm good.

I'm real good. [CHUCKLES]

I'm about to blow up online.

Was anyone hurt?

Huh?

Oh, no, my YouTube page.

My numbers are growing.

But, um...

I need your help, Pop-Pop.

You remember N.D. Longacre, right?

World famous mystery writer?

You handled her funeral ten years ago.

Well, a lot of people don't
think she's really dead.

Which makes sense. I mean...

How else would you explain Get Out?

There's no way some sketch
comedy dude wrote that movie.

It's a masterpiece.

It had to be her.

Come on, Pop-Pop, tell me the truth.

That funeral you put on
for N.D. Longacre...

it was a sham, right?

She's not in there.

My father's literally out of his mind.

He's got dementia.

He knew exactly what
I was talking about.

She's not dead.

Man, you really got to stop

with these petty conspiracies.

Not conspiracies. Truth.

You know what you're doing
could ruin us?

Does that matter?

Do you even care?

You're changing the subject.

Do you know how lucky
we are to have this?

Do you know much our family had to work
to build this?

Just tell me what happened
to N.D. Longacre and I'll go.

She died.

That's why people come here.

They die.

I was here when we put on

on her funeral, I should know.

Let that woman rest in peace.

I knew you'd try to silence me.

But it's okay.

There are plenty of people who'd
love to hear what I have to say,

including the Longacre family.

They hate the story,
because it's nonsense.

Then they shouldn't have
a problem signing

an exhumation order.

You shouldn't mind, either,

if she truly is six feet under,

like you say.

Good night, Uncle.

Wait.

Okay, okay.

I'll tell you what really happened.

I knew it.

Oh, you not gonna believe this.

I'll tell you the whole sordid story,

but I can't tell you here.

We got to go to the graveyard,

'cause you got
to see this to believe it.

And you better turn that phone off.

Oh, no need.

I keep it wrapped.

It's a homemade Faraday cage.

Keeps big tech off my back.

Want me to wrap yours?

Great idea.

- Let me go get my keys.
- All right.

They say it's albedo modifications.

That's all just a scam.

Trying to change
the weather and everything.

ARTHUR: That is fascinating.

I got to read more about that.

I smell weed.

What are you doing?

Put that out.

It's just tobacco.

Listen, Ima need your help.

You up to dig?

Sure, but... [SIGHS]

can we dig in the winter?
Isn't the ground frozen?

Well, these are special shovels.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

Looks like a regular shovel to me.

[BODY THUDS]

[POUNDING ON LID]

[MUFFLED SHOUTING]

REPORTER [ON RADIO]:
Less than two minutes after

deviating from its flight plan,

the private plane crashed
in Rhode Island.

Five people are confirmed dead,

including Senator Bronstein's long...

[LINE RINGING]

MAN: Coleman Cremations.

Yeah, I have a VIP decedent

who has requested private cremation.

I'll need immediate, overnight service.

What's your account info?

I don't have an account,
but, uh, the decedent's family

will pay extra for a quick turnaround.

If you haven't used us before,

I'll need your funeral
director's license, financial paperwork,

and a signed death certificate.

Can you get me in tonight?

Sure. Which funeral home
did you say you're with?

There you are.

You heard the news?

What news?

The private plane crash.

Senator Bronstein was on board

with his girlfriend
and a friend from college.

Terrible tragedy, so young...

Do you know how soon they're arriving?

Still en route from the morgue
in Rhode Island.

I called in the rest of the staff,

but Brenda's sick.

Well, we'd better get to work.

Uh, give me a moment.

Yeah.

AARON: Arthur?

I have Senator Bronstein's
father on line one for you.

I'll be right there.

It's a government cover-up,
I'm telling you,

- they disappeared him.
- You're claiming your friend,

a man named Russell Greene, is missing?

That's what I'm telling you.

Do you have his birth date and address?

No, but you won't find him at home

because something happened to him.

What makes you so sure?

We have a standing breakfast
meeting every Wednesday

and today, he didn't show.

So I checked our shared location app.

Last night,
he went to a retirement home,

then his family's funeral home,
then a cemetery.

And then he disappeared.

Why did you and your friend
share location?

Wh-Who are you?

Oh, um...

Elsbeth Tascioni. [CHUCKLES]

Sorry to interrupt.

I just find it odd

that you didn't know your
friend's address or birth date,

and yet, you shared location.

Well, we only became friends
IRL this year.

We were in the same Internet spaces.

Our online communityfocuses

on media manipulation
and alternative thinking.

You mean conspiracy theories.

No. Alternative thinking.

Russell and I share locations

to keep tabs on each other.

When you do the kind of work
we do, you become a target.

Sounds like it's worth
looking into, don't you think?

I'm not the one you should be asking.

Ah.

Missing conspiracy theorist?

I think he prefers
"alternative thinker."

Well, you can go find him and ask,
but I'm not assigning a detective.

Okay.

So who's my wingman or wing person?

A new hire, Officer Chandler.

Uh, he's been asking to do
something more challenging

and quite frankly,
I'd like him out of the office.

Uh, he's a good kid.

- A little annoying.
- Annoying? How?

I got my bachelor's
in Criminal Justice at John Jay,

and then I went to the academy,
where [CLUCKS TONGUE]

- I got an award for excellence.
- Uh-huh.

Did I mention that I do CrossFit?

You didn't, but you know what?

- The thing about funeral homes...
- Uh-huh.

[WHISPERING]:
is they tend to be quiet spaces.

- [WHISPERING]:
- Copy.

Observe and report.

Yes.

Oh.

My nephew came by
about 10:00 p.m. last night

to update me on my father's health.

I was working in the office,
so he didn't stay too long.

Did he say where he was going?

Not that I recall.

So you wouldn't know
why he visited Lenvale Cemetery

last night?

[LAUGHS]

No idea.

But to be honest,
my family really doesn't

understand what Russell's doing.

We lost him

once he started spending
all of his time online,

getting sucked into insane stories.

Or even worse, writing them.

I'm sure he's out there somewhere hiding

from some online drama
of his own making.

Well, a friend who reported him
missing is afraid something bad

happened to him.

You don't seem that concerned.

When you have
a family member like Russell,

years of worry turn into disappointment.

He will never carry on
my great-grandfather's legacy

here at Arthur Greene & Sons
Funeral Homes.

But I wish him well, of course.

Of course.

Now if you'll excuse me,
I have to go plan

three simultaneous funerals
on very short notice.

Three funerals... at once?

[GASPS]

Would that happen to be a very tragic,

but highly publicized plane crash?

I'm afraid I can't comment.

Oh, I understand.

But why did you say "short" notice?

Isn't tragedy always unexpected?

I was away from my phone last night.

But I thought you said you were working?

Thank you for your concern.

And I'm sure

Russell will show up soon.

- Mm-hmm.
- Ms. Tascioni?

I think you should see this.

This is Russell Greene.

If you're seeing this video,

I'm probably dead.

The tech team said
it was filmed months ago,

but Russell set it up
to automatically post if he ever

failed to log in
to his computer in the morning.

What kind of person assumes
they'll be k*lled?

A very paranoid person.

I went through his social media.

I mean, he posts everything
from UFOs to JFKs,

to hot wing challenges.

WAGNER: Is that tin foil?

That way the CIA can't track your phone.

The secret is three layers of tinfoil...

He's creating a homemade Faraday cage.

Does that even work?

Apparently not.

Uh, what's your read on the situation?

I think

that Russell's uncle,

Arthur Greene, knows
more than he's telling us.

You do know that the Greene family
are pillars of the community?

I did get that sense.

But you'd still like to dig?

- Well, maybe if I had a detective, I...
- No detective.

We'll put out a missing person bulletin
and set up a tip line.

Someone must know something.

Hmm.

Thank you. [GROANS]

Why am I on tip line duty?

Don't I have enough to do?

FLEMING: Oh, come to think of it,

I may have put you up for it.

Tip line is a rookie rite of passage.

Welcome to the circus, Detective.

- Mm-hmm.
- Flowers would have been nicer.

Hey, what are you doing...?

- Tip line.
- Elsbeth.

I know what happened to Russell.

BARB: Look at Russell's last post.

"Had a burger at Chuck's on First Ave.

Would DEF eat there again."

You see?

See what?

"DEF"?

All caps?

That spells "fed" backwards.

He's telling us the FBI got him.

That's one theory.

Huh. Look at this.

"What's the truth

"about N.D. Longacre's so-called death?

"I will put an end to the debate.

Please like and subscribe for more."

"So-called death"?

They said she died of an aneurism,
but she's still alive.

Russell knew.

His family handled the cover-up.

What cover-up?

The funeral.

Don't you see?

The Feds must be trying to silence him.

Aren't you gonna look into it?

Oh, I don't know...

My friend could be

in some black site
getting tortured or worse.

Please.

- I'm begging you.
- Okay.

I don't have a direct line to the FBI,

but I know someone who does.

WAGNER: Thanks for checking, Rick.

Bye.

You happy?

My buddy at the bureau hasn't
heard of a Russell Greene.

But, uh, he'll keep putting feelers out.

Excellent. Thank you.

I doubt anything will come of it.

You're probably right.

[KNOCKING]

Someone here was asking
about Russell Greene?

Uh...

I was.

Do you know where he is?

Not at this time.

Has he been bothering you?

We can make a report
and add it to his file.

The FBI has a file on Russell Greene?

- What for?
- That's classified.

Has Russell ever been apprehended

by the FBI?

His friends are just
trying to locate him.

Please, guys like Russell Greene
take up enough of our time.

Harassing us with FOIA requests,
demanding disclosure.

If the FBI arrested
every pain-in-the-a*s

like Russell Greene,
we'd never get anything done.

Easier just to keep an eye on them.

And did you keep an eye on him?

Maybe. We have lots of guys
like Russell Greene.

Sometimes they slip away.

He's probably living
off-the-grid somewhere.

I suggest you go look in the woods.

Uh, thank you, but...

I doubt he made it that far.

Head's up. Four more coming.

Oh! Arthur?

Mr. Whitley's fraternity brothers

are waiting for you in the Orchard Room.

He was passenger number two.

They're requesting a keg
for the wake and a shot girl,

- but I don't really know what that is.
- All right, I'll be right in.

And Ms. Dell's family has questions

about a biodegradable casket.

They're in the Lotus Room.

Can I take this for you? Who is it?

Oh, no, this is empty, I'm just,

you know, moving some things around.

But why are we getting five bodies in?

I thought it was the senator
and his two friends.

- And a flight crew.
- Oh, a flight crew?

- Yeah.
- Well, unless the pilot owns the plane,

you can send them
to a more suitable provider.

- Okay.
- All right.

MAN: Hello. Mr. Greene.

I'm the shomer.

Senator Bronstein's family shul sent me.

I'll be sitting with the body
until the funeral.

I'll need a chair.

Nothing more.

Oh, I did not know
that we were getting a shomer.

But [CHUCKLES] silly of me.

Is this Senator Bronstein?

- Oh, poor boy.
- No, no, no.

The senator will be in room three.

And Aaron will escort you.

So if you two gentlemen will excuse me.

- Thank you.
- This way.

The FBI isn't responsible
for Russell's disappearance.

That's what they want us to think.

They admit they have a file on him.

He was harassing a federal agency.

The agents were just doing
their due diligence.

Wow. It must be nice going
through life with blinders on.

KAYA: Elsbeth?

I have a witness who thinks
he saw Russell Greene.

- What?! Where?!
- Um, Barb, maybe you should...

Leave? It's okay, I get that a lot.

Actually, she should probably stay.

This might be right up your alley.

This is Jay.

Tell them what you saw
last night at Lenvale Cemetery.

I saw that guy from
the posters get abducted.

Abducted! By who?

By a spaceship.

[SIGHS] A spaceship?

It was silver with green lights on it,

and he floated right into it.

It was so crazy, man.

BARB: Are you sure it was Russell?

Positive.

Why were you at the cemetery?

Paying my respects to N.D. Longacre.

Smoke a little weed
take a few mushrooms,

you can really feel her spirit.

Mushrooms.

I didn't catch that part.
That might explain the spaceship.

BARB: You didn't see
a spaceship.

It was a military contractor drone.

- They're everywhere.
- Nah, it was a spaceship.

Can I get the reward money in cash?

Uh, there's no reward being
offered, but, wait,

tell me more about this spaceship.

You said it had green lights?

BARB: It was a drone.

- It was definitely a spaceship.
- It was a drone.

Drones don't have magnetic
propulsion beams

- that come out of them.
- They absolutely do.

- Dude, are you serious?
- Have you been to Jersey?

- I was there.
- They're drones...

Okay. Okay, okay.

Everybody look over here.

Is this the spaceship
or drone that you saw?

Wait, you say Russell Greene
was in your house?

Last week?

But he's only been missing a...

Okay.

I'll make a note.

Let me guess, Mrs. Henderson?

[SIGHS]

[CHUCKLING]

Uh, no, mm-hmm... no, I'm still here.

I'm listening, Mrs. Henderson.

"I find myself beguiled by
the greatest mystery of life,

the mystery of death."

That's beautiful.

See that?

She wrote that because she isn't dead.

Or...

her family took a line
from one of her novels.

No. Her books are
where she outlined a plan

to fake her own death,
using subtle clues.

Ah...

Her last novel had 20 chapters

and ended on page 202.

Check out the Book of Revelation,

Chapter 22, Verse 20.

You get it?

Uh, mm-mm.

It's all about Jesus's
promise to return.

Oh, right.

The question is when exactly is

Longacre planning to resurface?

Hey, look at this.

It doesn't smell like marijuana,

- yet it's hand-rolled.
- What?!

Russell was an RYO-er.

- A what? Oh.
- "Roll your own."

'Cause there's no telling
what harmful additives

big tobacco are using.

Like tobacco?

- This proves that Russell was here!
- Yes!

And, look, these could be
the tire tracks

from the hearse.

Wait, what are these smaller tracks?

Maybe those are from a gurney?

Like the ones that undertakers
use to move coffins.

A coffin is the perfect place
to hide a body.

And if you're someone who has experience

disposing of bodies,

you're not gonna throw it
in the river, you're gonna...

Sell it for parts.

I was gonna say bury or burn it.

Well, you'd need a jackhammer.
The ground's frozen solid.

That leaves the other option.

So the crematorium
that Arthur Greene & Sons uses

was closed for repairs all week.

Which is why I think Arthur Greene
has Russell's body hidden

somewhere in the funeral home.

Body? So our missing person case
is now a m*rder investigation?

Well, I don't have evidence
of foul play, yet, but...

If it was a m*rder,
couldn't Arthur Greene have

- taken him to another crematorium?
- No.

Officer Chandler,
who is quite the chatty Cathy,

by the way, called
every crematorium in the city.

No one from Arthur Greene & Sons
visited any of them.

Why would one of the most
successful funeral directors

in the city want to k*ll his own nephew?

It feels connected

to Russell trying to prove that
N.D. Longacre is still alive.

Barb agrees though.

- She and Russell were friends...
- Barb?

You mean the crackpot

who claims to be working with the NYPD?

Wait, what?

Chandler?

Please show Ms. Tascioni
the post you found.

Right-O.

- Uh...
- Ah.

ELSBETH: She posted that?

She didn't ask me.

I took a comprehensive
cybersecurity course,

so if you need me to
un-blur the image, I...

WAGNER: That won't be necessary.

Okay, I realize this may

reflect unfavorably
on the department, but...

She thinks 9/11 was an inside job.

Well, that's unfortunate,

but Barb aside,

you have got to agree that Russell

visiting the gravesite is still strange.

Don't you think I should nose around

the funeral home just a little bit?

Well, you said yourself that there's

no clear evidence of foul play.

Oh, so we can't get a search warrant.

But there's nothing stopping you

from visiting the showroom.

Right.

Uh, wait.

What about the Barb woman?

Oh, I'll have her take the post down.

Uh, immediately.

And tone down the colors.

What?

It's a funeral home.

Have some respect for the dead.

Right.

I thought cremation was
better for the environment.

Putting dead flesh full of formaldehyde

in the ground just seems so toxic.

Conventional burial is toxic,

but we have green options, which are

ecologically advanced.

How green can it be?

A body is still rotting in the dirt.

Well, for starters, this casket here

is biodegradable,

sealed to prevent leaking

from any non-PFA embalming fluids.

And of course we use recycled
water at the gravesite

And we issue a full

carbon footprint report after burial.

Well, that sounds pretty good.

How much does that cost?

$275,000.

Oh.

Oh.

Your sister loved the earth,
did she not?

Yes.

Then she would want to honor it.

Right.

Right.

Well, I opted out of joining the CIA

because I like to be on the ground,

- you know, with the people.
- Uh-huh.

My dad was none too
pleased about that...

[SNEEZING] Whoa.

- Gesundheit.
- Oh, I...

Oh, hello.

What? [GROANS]

Uh, let me guess, uh, New York View?

Uh, this is public property.
I have every right to be here.

Oh, well, we're not here
to make trouble.

At least not for you. [CHUCKLES]

Uh, are you hoping

to take pictures
of the senator's family?

Family, no.

Friends, yes.

Rumor has it Harry and Meghan
are gonna be here.

What?

Yeah, a good shot of them'll
make my whole year.

Wow, good luck then, I guess.

Yeah.

[GIGGLES] Let's go.

The funeral home in Flushing
where my nana's service was held

- was nothing like this.
- Mm-hmm.

She had a glass eye, it
used to really freak me out.

Yes, it is lovely and so serene.

We need to check every coffin.

- You start here.
- Yes.

[SNIFFLING]

Oh, hello.

Are you okay?

You look like you could use a hug.

[EXHALES]

[GRUNTS]

Thank you.

Well, what's going on?

I'm just so confused.

We decided not to do a cremation.

But now I know the coffins
are gonna last forever.

I can't decide which
my sister would prefer.

Oh, you lost your sister?

Mm-hmm. She believed
in the sacredness of the earth.

That's why I'm being so picky.

Everything has to be organic

- and environmentally friendly.
- Okay.

Well, I am so sorry.

And I am sure that your sister

would be very pleased that
you're putting such great care

into the process.

Thank you.

I'm Juniper Dell.

Elsbeth Tascioni.

Elsbeth.

You're a gem.

- Okay.
- [CHUCKLES]

[MOANS]

Okay.

Oh.

So sorry for your loss.

Thank you.

[COFFIN CREAKING]

ARTHUR: What are you doing?

This particular model

has a key and gaskets

so that it closes securely.

Ah.

Why are you here, Ms. Tascioni?

I already told you everything I know

about my nephew Russell.

Oh, well, we have a witness
who saw Russell

in an Arthur Greene & Sons
hearse at the cemetery.

We have reason to believe

the hearse was carrying
a casket like this one.

- [SCOFFS] That's nonsense.
- Is it?

It appears
that Russell was investigating

a conspiracy theory

about N.D. Longacre.

The novelist?

I told you Russell peddled
in falsehoods.

Falsehoods about a woman

whose burial
Arthur Greene & Sons handled.

That had to be unnerving.

Well, we all have family members that

enjoy causing discord.

Well, the things my Uncle Stanley says

at Thanksgiving don't
really affect my livelihood,

but the things that Russell was saying

could gravely impact yours.

[STAMMERS] No pun intended.

Well, luckily, Russell didn't work here.

And our employees don't go around

spreading additional heartache
to grieving families

by telling them that loved ones

are here when they clearly aren't.

Mm, sounds like Russell
caused an awful lot

of trouble for your family.

I believe I've answered all
your questions, Ms. Tascioni.

Oh, wait, uh, before you go,

I would love to see what this casket

looks like on the inside.

I mean, you know how it is
with a locked box.

You see one and you just have

to know what's inside. [CHUCKLES]

I don't know how the people
at FedEx can stand it.

Do you have a warrant?

Do I need one?

You don't have anything to hide, right?

Satisfied?

ELSBETH: Is that dirt?

How did that get in there?

Uh, this is a floor model.

You wouldn't believe
how many people want

to take this out for a test drive.

But here
at Arthur Greene & Sons, we have

only the best.

Organic silk,

supreme thread count, and we threw in

this double-stuffed pillow
for eternal comfort.

Mm.

Go on.

Get in.

Oh, uh... [CHUCKLES]

Oh, no, no, no, no, I don...

I couldn't.

I insist.

You should experience
where you'll eventually end up.

I would love to see you in there.

Uh, I'm gonna go now.

Thanks for your time.

You okay?

Uh, yeah, I'm fine.

I don't suppose you found Russell?

No. And I'm thorough.

I once participated
in a mock search and rescue

for a neighbor's cat
when I was just a little...

Where you going?

Uh, excuse me?

- Uh, do you vacuum these every day?
- What?

Do you vacuum these cars every day?

Not if it hasn't been used, but

Mr. Greene wants this one detailed, so.

Well, you're doing a good job.

[LAUGHS]

Is that aluminum foil?

[CLATTERING]

[WHEELS SQUEAKING]

I was hoping we were wrong
and Russell would turn up,

but that's not gonna happen, is it?

- I don't think so.
- [HARP MUSIC RINGTONE PLAYING]

- Oh, sorry.
- [CHUCKLING]

My nine-year-old chose that ringtone.

- You have a kid?
- I have two.

You look surprised.

I guess I just thought

"alternative thinking"
meant "alternative lifestyle."

I may be a boring soccer mom,
but I'm not gonna let

my friend die in vain.

I'm gonna pick up
where Russell left off.

You mean proving Longacre's still alive?

I don't know if that's such a good idea.

That funeral home is
clearly hiding something.

If Arthur Greene wants
to stop the rumors

about Longacre, all he has
to do is dig up the grave.

Well, they can't exhume the body
without the family's consent.

Ooh.

Maybe that's who I should talk to.

The obit said Longacre
was survived by her sister.

Yes, I have a few questions
I'd love to ask her.

Oh, Barb.

I can't bring you along, not anymore.

Because of the post?

I told you I took that down.

Yeah, but the NYPD, they have rules

about these things.

If you promise not to post

that you're working
with the cops, I'll fill you in.

It's like I'm getting disinvited
to Thanksgiving dinner

- all over again.
- Aw.

But okay.

The important thing is
getting justice for Russell.

Yeah.

I think my cousin Jeremy is
to blame for starting the rumor.

He said the coffin felt light.

He was one of the pallbearers?

If I'd known one comment
would catch fire,

I never would've let them
talk me into a closed casket.

Raymond Greene was the
funeral director then.

Was he the one who talked you
into a closed casket?

No, it was his son.

He said it would prevent people

from selling photos of my sister's body,

which made sense.

Hmm.

But that explanation doesn't track.

Arthur Greene & Sons is known
for its discretion.

They have a no-phone policy
during services.

And dozens of other celebrities
have had open caskets there.

I'm just telling you what they told me.

There had to be
some other reason he wanted

the casket closed.

Like what?

Maybe to hide a mistake?

But Arthur Greene & Sons
doesn't make mistakes.

Right?

AARON: Mr. Greene?

Uh, Juniper Dell is
asking about the silk

used inside our coffins.

She wants to know whether
the moths are allowed to emerge

naturally when the silk is harvested?

I'll talk to her.

Can I get you more water?

Uh, we were hoping

you had something a little bit stronger

to help us cope with our grief.

Yeah, we don't have anything
like that around here.

This is not a saloon.

SHOMER: Mr. Greene.

I heard you talking
with a family member earlier,

and I want you to know

how much I appreciate the special care

that you showed
the departed in your charge.

It is a great mitzvah.

- As it is said in the Mishna...
- [WHEELS SQUEAKING]

I'm sorry, the Mishna's
gonna have to wait.

What are you doing?

Oh, hi. You must be Mr. Greene.

- I'm Heather, the temp.
- Yes, and?

And I think the morgue
mistakenly dropped off the pilot

from that awful plane crash because...

I'll take it from here.
Thank you, Heather.

[EXHALES]

Okay, all the locks seem to be intact.

Ah. [CHUCKLES]

You know, you're the first cop

who's actually come to check.

[CHUCKLES]

Do you have any family here in the city?

Someone to talk to, Mrs. Henderson?

Yeah, I don't need a social worker.

No, no, my problem
is with this Russell fella.

He's taking advantage of
me because I'm here alone.

You've noticed things missing?

Food, mostly.

And the cash

I keep in the cookie jar, it's gone.

O-Or was it the-the baking soda?

[LAUGHS SOFTLY]

Okay.

[CLATTERING]

See? I told you. He's back.

[EXHALES]

That boy always gave his mama
so much trouble.

Mm.

When he came to see you,

did he ever talk to you
about N.D. Longacre?

Oh, yes.

Russell is going to exhume the body.

Oh.

It's gonna keep me from
getting to heaven, isn't it?

What would?

Polly would understand.

Is this Polly?

[LAUGHS]: Aw.

She's a big girl.

Loved apple slices.

[LAUGHS] Oh.

Mr. Greene,

why would exhuming Longacre's body

keep you out of heaven?

Arthur is a good boy.

I looked him square in the eye

and told him not to let anyone
open that coffin.

I think this is the right
one, but it's just so big.

You could fit two people in there.

Uh, you know,

I was wrong to encourage you
to bury your sister.

It-it isn't right for everyone.

You should stick with
your original plan of cremation.

We should do it as soon as possible.

Well, I ju...

Cremation?

- Okay.
- Oh...

Okay.

Hi.

You're not leaving, are you?

The Dell family funeral's coming up.

Don't you want to take pictures?

Yeah, the family decided
to cremate instead.

They did? When?

Now. The hearse just left.

Oh. Oh, uh, thank you. I got to go.

Before the advent of undertakers,

the body was prepared for burial
by those that loved them most.

[CLATTERING]

Sorry.

[GASPS]

- Sorry.
- I'm sorry, this is

- a private ceremony.
- Oh, no, no, no, she's a friend.

ELSBETH: Oh. Hi. Sorry.

Hi.

The washing and dressing
of the loved one

in burial garments

allows this family
to process their grief.

I'm surprised you landed on cremation,

given how terrible it is
for the environment.

Mm-mm. I was told that the facility

captures 90% of the CO2.

And I think my sister would prefer

to leave the land to the living.

Today, we blanket your family in love

as you mourn.

Um, what, what about the, uh, coffin?

- What about it?
- Well, are you sure

- the fabric is organic?
- Yes.

JUNIPER: Totally. The funeral
director confirmed

that the silkworms are treated humanely

from the egg hatching
to the cocoon stage.

Juniper? Can you place
your flower on the casket,

and make your way beside me and help me

to guide your beloved sister
into the hereafter.

Okay, are you totally sure about this?

Yes.

I told you, we checked everything.

Uh, um...

Well, what about the pillows?

I hear they have Poly-Fil in them.

Please do not listen to this woman.

Maybe we should check.

[SIGHS] Just to be sure.

- Yeah.
- Please, open the casket.

It's all right. I can assure you.

Open it!

[JUNIPER GASPS]

There's a man in there with her.

Good for her.

[SIRENS WAILING]

I still don't understand

why exhuming Longacre scared you so.

My father was a great man
who never once made a mistake.

- Until that day.
- [SIGHS]

You're not gonna tell me, are you?

The body will be exhumed.

We will find out.

You're gonna have to do
a lot better than that

if you're gonna get me to talk,
Ms. Tascioni.

Discretion is the cornerstone
of our trade, remember?

You treated the dead
with such great care.

Too bad you couldn't do
the same for the living.

[CAR DOOR CLOSES]

The dog?

That's what's in N.D. Longacre's casket?

Unfortunately, yes.

Then Russell was right.
She's still out there.

No.

Raymond Greene had just begun
to suffer from dementia,

and he mistakenly cremated
Longacre instead of Polly,

his beloved Saint Bernard.

We found Longacre's gold ring

in what was supposed to be
Polly's ashes.

N.D. Longacre is gone.

But I so appreciate you pushing me

to search for your friend Russell,

because I would never have
gotten this far without you.

I should tell Russell's followers
what happened to him.

Yes, and that N.D. Longacre is dead.

- Of course.
- Yeah.

But you know that dementia
isn't real, right?

And I am standing in front
of the biggest raccoon

I have ever seen in my life.

- [LAUGHS]:
- I swear. [LAUGHTER]

You talking about Mrs. Henderson?

You better get used
to the sound of her voice.

- Mm-mm.
- Nope.

Turns out, all she needed
was a little help

closing up an old doggy door.

And I got that because I listened

-and I took her seriously.
- Ooh.

And now, since I solved that
mystery, I think I am done

with the tip line forever.

- Well, all right then.
- [LAUGHS]

[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

Oh, I-I started reading
one of Longacre'sbooks.

And her voice is so vivid,
it's hard to believe she's dead.

Uhp. But she is.

But she is.

Have a good night, Officer Chandler.

Have a good night.

Captain Wagner?

I just want to say I hope Barb's post

didn't cause too much trouble.

I received a few complaints.

Ugh, I'm sorry.

Maybe I came down too hard on you.

But I've seen how conspiracy theories

can tear families apart.

You have a Barb in your family?

Mm. Who doesn't?

And given how you question
every damn thing,

well...

I'd hate to see you
fall down a rabbit hole.

You were worried about me?

Don't be.

I like my outlandish theories

with a heavy dose of evidence.

Real evidence.

[LAUGHS SOFTLY]

[PHONE RINGING]

Wagner.

It's Kershaw.

About that case you got me to reopen?

Tell me you're not going after
a sitting judge for m*rder.

And if I am?

Your life is about to get
a lot more dangerous.