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01x09 - Cliff's Edge

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Common Side Effects". Aired: February 2, 2025.*
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Follows former high school lab mates Marshall and Frances as they unravel a conspiracy involving big pharma and the government to suppress knowledge of a rare fungus secret that may contain the solution to cure all world's diseases.

01x09 - Cliff's Edge

Post by bunniefuu »

- Marshall Cuso is dead.

- [ Gasps ]

- Who's claiming his body
that fast?

- I helped grow them.

- Pssh. Socrates did
more than you.

You don't even know,
do you, how much more important

this tortoise is than you?

- Wouldn't it be
interesting if Jonas Backstein

and Cecily were connected?

Probably even working together.

- So we're done with this.
You're handling Reutical?

- Shut it down? But...

- Richard, you let this go.
You'll be rewarded.

You needn't worry about this.

- Wait, what am I gonna do now?
What's my job? Am I out?

- Hey, Frances.
- Rick?

- Want to be in business?
- Rusty?

- Back, huh? Boss will
probably want to see you.

- The boss?

- Hello, Marshall.

- Ah, finally. You're back.

- Go back outside.
I'll be there as soon as I can.

- Sorry, Marshall.
I'm with Hildy.

- Wait, you...
I thought we could've...

- Amelia was my former student.

When she saw what you had,
she knew who to come to.

You did well.

Give me a few minutes
with Marshall.

I want to show you something.

We've been here since
your little Frances ran off.

[ Car engine starts ]

I was right about her, wasn't I?

- Hey! You with Turtleman?

Don't know how happy he'd be
with you poking around his area.

- Turtleman?
I know Turtleman.

I told your local g*ons that you
and I are old friends.

They help me grow the mushroom,
and we'd all share it.

We got this symbiosis
thing going on here.

So we tried.

Aaah!

Nothing worked.

- You wouldn't tell me.
- [ Horn honks ]

We had to get you out.
Back with us.

The mushroom's talking to me.

It's telling me
it wants to grow.

We can be partners.
We can grow it together.

- I don't know, Hildy.

I really...
I just can't...

- Look around.
We're your people.

And we're here
to serve something larger.

This is what you need.

And this is
where you need to be.

I've dedicated my whole life
to this mushroom.

No one understands it like I do.

Like we do.

- You want to know
why you couldn't grow it?

You were missing a piece.
It's Socrates.

- His feces!

Of course,
the perfect substrate.

- Hi, yeah, hi.

I heard your story about
the farm in North Carolina


and I want to say...
all true, I was just there.


This mushroom they're growing,
it can heal anything.


And they need people.
They need volunteers.


People should go,
everyone should go.


You got to go.
You got to meet the guy.


He's gonna save the world.
I'm telling you.


- Our condolences
about your brother.

Dead, huh? Sucks.

Could we ask you
a few questions about him?

- That is very kind of you
to ask me about that.

I will not be answering
any questions on this matter,

thank you.

Um, please enjoy, peruse,
enjoy the store.

- Got it.
We'll just poke around.

- Um, actually that's
employees only!

Employees only.
Employees only!

- A walking catfish!
You don't see these too often!

I thought those were
ill*gal to import.

- Wow.
An Asian arowana.

That's one of the rarest fish
in the world.

- You know who would love
this place?

- Bill and Cuppy over at the US
Fish and Wildlife Service!

- No, no, no, no!

- When Bill and Cuppy
seize wildlife,

what happens to it?

They must flush some
of the smaller fish, right?

- Marshall's alive!

He's alive! I don't know
where he is, but he came here!

He came here with a woman,
and there was a kid.

And if you're gonna flush one,
you can flush that one,

but don't flush my lionfish!

[ Bell rings ]

- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
what are you doing?

- Calling this in?
Marshall's alive.

- Hold on!

- What?
This is our break!

We'll probably get promoted.

- Have you been paying
attention at all?

Rick, Reutical, Jonas Backstein.

This is a conspiracy.

You call that in,
they'll bury it.

- We're doing our job.

- Harrington,
who are we actually working for?

- [ Sighs ] Buddy,
I don't think your

head is screwed on straight.

- Excuse me?
- I'm worried about you.

And your choices.

They're not healthy or wise
for either of our careers.

- Career? Is that what
this is about to you?

What about the truth?

- Copano, I love you.

I would rather you come with me.

But right now, I don't think
that's right for us.

- Then I guess
I'm doing it alone.

[ Engine starts ]

- We can make the pill
any color we want.

That's the easy part.

Hard part is making
a synthetic version.

- And is it testing any better?

Mm, it's about as effective
as an ibuprofen.

That's progress.

But there are some side effects
to keep an eye on.

- [ Grunts ]

- Are you in there? Who are you?
Do you live in there?

- I'm sorry Mr. Backstein,
between the cell therapy,

the radiation,
and the itraconazole therapy,

we've exhausted the options.

- Oh. There's always
something else to try.

- I'm not sure you understand.

You have weeks,
maybe a few months at most.

My professional recommendation
would be

for you to gather your family

and spend it doing the things
you love.

- I am not here
for therapeutic musings.

If you're not up
for the challenge,

well, then someone else will be.

- Well, this is interesting.

In addition to the rash,

it cleared up your
plantar fasciitis.

That's remarkable.

- What's up, bro?

Yeah, I smashed it
using a staple g*n.

That's what I get for putting up
a banner solo-dolo.

You're really him,
you're like, f*ck', the guy.

- I know, but you don't need
a mushroom for this.

- Aw, come on man.
It hurts!

- I'm sure it does,

but we have a very limited
supply and many,

many people who really need it.

- See?
That's what he does.

He turns away people
who are begging for help!

He's a m*rder*r!
He k*lled my husband!

- Ma'am, your
husband wasn't sick.

He was just... I'm sorry,
but, very, very old!

- His blood is on your hands!

- That's enough.

- Oh, good to see you,
oh, okay, um yup...

- What is this?
A bribe? Trying to cut in line?

- No, Hildy, she's just...

- Marshall needs a break!

- Hey! I paid!
- What?

- Come on, Marshall,
let's get you out of here.

- Hello? Marshall... I am
not saying names on this phone.

- Okay?
- Okay, Zane, Zane,

do have any leads
on Peruvian tortoises?

Any of your shady reptile
friends find anything, anywhere?

- Uh, listen,
if, and that's a big

"if", I knew something,

what would we be talking
about here

in terms of compensation?

- Zane, I don't have access
to my accounts right now.

Could you just
for once help me out?

- Okay, listen I've... we...
I've had a lot of, uh, noise,

trouble, heat.

I've had, uh, chatter and heat.
You understand that?

I can't be importing and
exporting tortoises willy-nilly.

It needs to be...

You need to make it worth it
for Zane. Monetarily.

- God, Zane,
what happened to you?

You were such a sweet,
weird kid.

- That is not true!
I was not weird!

I was cool!
I just had... I had interests.

That's not weird
to have interests.

Everyone has interests.

I was interested in mollusks.
That's normal.

Bird reproduction is
interesting.

I just like the way fish, uh...

reproduce...
[ Continues indistinctly ]

- [ Sighs ] If I make it out of
here alive,

can we revisit growing
the mushroom?

- You get one point,

and we'll forget synthetic,
how about that?

Just kidding.

But sure, let's talk it out.

Okay, say we grow a mushroom.

That's something
we can't patent.

No problem.

Just means other people
can grow it, too.

That's fine if they do it right,
but if they don't,

and people get sick,

no one knows which company
to trust.

We're f*cked.

End of story.

But, if you want to grow it,
we'll grow it.

- Well, wait.

You really think
we can get the synthetic there?

- Hell yeah.
I know we can.

- Do we have
the count of how many

mushrooms we gave out yesterday?

And where are the ones
we harvested last night?

I hope we're
not dealing with blotch.

Has anyone noticed...

Wait, what's going on in...

- Marshall, just stay...

- Wait, wait, what are you doing?
What is that?

- Just making a tincture?

- What, are you crazy?
No!

[ Ding ]

- Marshall.

Mom?

- [ Gasps ]

- He's back, he's back!
Give him air!

- No tinctures,
nothing like that.

Guys, there aren't
enough mushrooms.

We have one tortoise,
he's tired.

We can only grow so many
so fast.

And jumping to extraction
with so many unknowns

is absolutely wrong.

- You're overworked,
you're overreacting.

Think about the possibilities.

With a tincture we'll be able to
dose an entire...

- Hildy! Hildy!

We are so far from that.
We need to slow down!

We barely know what we're doing,
what this thing does.

- Okay! Of course.

I'll tell everyone to go.

Some of them have been waiting
for days.

But if that's what
you want, just say the word.

- Hey, this is Rick's cell.
Please leave a message.


[ Beep ]

- Rick! Jonas Backstein.

You need to come over
for another whiskey

one of these days.

Look, you recall
the mushroom project?

You disposed of all
of the mushrooms, correct?

I just need to know.
Even if you only kept one.

[ Coughs ]

Well, there would be no hard
feelings. I just...

I would like to discuss it.

- Amelia took time off.

Sick kid.

- Are you sure?
'Cause, Marshall said...

- Oh, Marshall said,
Marshall said.

Forget Marshall! Okay?
I taught Marshall.

- Hm, okay. Interesting.

Why is it my face?

- You got that down-home,
attainable, earthy face.

- Down-home attainable?
Earthy?

- The kind of girl who knows
something about mushrooms.

Plus higher income
customers like to see someone

not homely exactly.

Uh, trustworthy?

- Great, skipping right over
"not homely" for now.

High income?

I understand for whatever
reason, it can't be free,

but it still needs to be
affordable, Rick.

- Of course!

High income customers pay
out of pocket.

Everyone else
goes through insurance.

Just the copay for them.

- But not everybody has
insurance, Rick.

And even if they do,
it might not cover it.

My mom had to get
so many different...

- Look, everyone who
needs it will get it.

They'll just have to go
through the system.

Which pays us back,
at a higher price,

so we recoup our costs.

It's beautiful.

It's nature.

- Hey! You stood up my partner.

I think I know why.

It's a medicine, isn't it?

- So Marshall is alive, and this
is the first I'm hearing of it?

- We wanted to confirm, it took
a lot of detective work...

- What happened to your partner?
Coupon? Is he involved?

- He's, uh, on leave.

Look, we have people
in position,

we're ready to shut it all down.

- Uh-huh. Great.
- So are we approved?

- Feel free to tag along,
but you're not running it.

Your little pig parade
fumbled this investigation

every step of the way.

- Okay, uh, let me object
to that, though.

I mean, yes, there were some
hiccups but you know, we...

- The FBI is better equipped
to actually,

you know, make an arrest.

Don't you think?

- The FBI?

- More?

- Uh...

[ Cellphone buzzing ]

- Yes?
- There's been a development.

Marshall Cuso did not in fact
die in jail.


- He didn't?

- Nope, the f*cking guy is
like a c*ck.


But we've got him
under surveillance.


Tight net.

He's got a grow operation
in North Carolina.


Apparently they're growing
mushrooms by the bucket.


- North Carolina.

- Um, here.
For my treatment.

Who do I give this to?
This is all I can pay right now.

- Wait. Are you trying to...

Did someone tell you
you have to pay for this?

Are you charging
for the mushrooms?

- Okay, Marshall, I am not.

- Oh. Good, good, okay.

- But the boys are.
- The boys?

- How do you think
this place runs, Marshall?

- We charge for 'em. And we sell
'em to non-sickies, too.

They love the rush.
- Wait, what?

We don't have enough
for the people who need them!

And you're giving them
to Rusty and Tommy

to sell to people
who want to get high?

- You know what, Marshall?
You're right.

This has all gotten
a little out of hand.

- Yeah it sure has!

- Let's take a walk.

- Ah!
- You shouldn't have interfered.

You ruined my life!
- I... Wait. What?

- You shouldn't have saved me!
I'm seeing things.

Little, uh, guys?

I can't tell what's real!
Is this real?

Are you real? It doesn't matter.

[ Sobs ] I wish I had died.

[ Grunting ]

I wish I had died.

- [ Breathing heavily ]

- Let's go.

♪ Koreen ♪

♪ Are you gonna leave me? ♪

♪ Are you gonna leave before
you show me? ♪

♪ Before we find that
thing that we found before? ♪

♪ Koreen ♪

♪ Are you gonna leave me? ♪

♪ Are you gonna leave before
you show me? ♪

♪ Before we find that thing
that we found before? ♪

♪ Koreen ♪

♪ Are you gonna leave me? ♪

♪ Are you gonna leave before
you show me? ♪

♪ Before we find that thing
that we found before? ♪

♪ Koreen ♪

♪ Are you gonna leave me? ♪

♪ Are you gonna leave before
you show me? ♪

♪ Before we find that thing
that we found before? ♪

[ Birds chirping ]

- People are coming
to us for help

and we're making
them pay for a mushroom

that may have side effects,

then sending them home
with no way of monitoring them?

Hildy, I can't do this anymore.

- We've taken it, and we're fine.

- No, the way he was acting,
we need more testing, Hildy.

- Testing? Now you sound
like a pharmaceutical company.

Maybe you and that lab rat

were perfect for each other
after all.

- You know what?
Maybe I did need Frances.

Maybe I should've
listened to her,

maybe she and I
could've compromised.

But this isn't working.
Just, for now, we have to stop.

Send everyone home.
- We can't stop now.

The mushroom knows
what it wants.

- Look, I know you got excited,
and you're disappointed.

Maybe in a few months,

a year, we'll be ready
to test it on other people.

This is really for the best.
This is the right way forward.

I hope eventually
you'll see that, too.

[ Bird screeches ]

[ Grunting ]

♪ It's really nice to know that
you're a friend ♪

♪ And that you'll let me know
you now and then ♪

♪ If I have any problems, I know
you're going to solve them ♪

♪ And stand by my side,
lend a hand, be my guy ♪

[ Bell dings ]

[ Chuckles ]