01x07 - The big bad wolf

[bunniefuu]

Dude!

Whisky on the rocks.

-Why am I not surprised you're involved?
-You don't surprise easily, Patrick.

You haven't changed, only for the worse.

-You think that's funny?
- I do, I really do.

Especially coming from you.

- No, no, no.
- Really quick.

- I have to work.
- Come on, no.

-They'll notice. Come on.
-No.

-Some other time.
-Eugh!

You're not a businessman, Jacques.

-A single malt on the rocks.
-Give me another one.

No insight, no talent.

Fortunately I saw that early on.

Otherwise I might have become
a pub owner as well.

Don't worry about me.
I'm a resourceful guy.

No insight, no talent and no backbone.

You know what the problem is
with men with no backbones?

They're too easily satisfied.

Give them some scraps
and they'll scramble for it.

What are you here to tell me, Patrick?

Do you have a minute?

Oof.

You recognize it?

I think I could have gotten
five times as much for that watch.

The day after you pawned it off
those guys were at my door.

I don't know what you got for them, but
I paid 150,000 euros for my own watches.

What do you want?

-Excuse me?
-What do you want?

I want you to pay me back
and then we forget about it.

Honestly. We'll start with a clean slate,
as a proper landlord.

Landlord? What's that got to do with it?

I bought the concession.

Where your beach club is at.

Expect a registered letter tomorrow.

I'll drop by shortly with the shareholders
to determine what we'll be using it for.

You can pack your bags.

Father.

Here he is.

There you go.

Congratulations. Cool place, truly.

Enjoy it. Next week I'll shut this down.

Yeah. Come on, help me.

Who wants another glass of champagne?

Lex?

Louise's iphone

f*ck your dad. Just continue.

He really is an as*h*le.
That's my opinion at least, Alex.

Do you want to know what I think?

He must have a very small willy.

A really small willy.

Thanks for tonight, bro

This small.

Bro, thanks for yesterday
you were a big help. See you later

-Hi.
-Hi.

Hey.

I only slept two hours.

-I didn't sleep a wink.
-Maybe that's better.

I'm f*cking horny.

You have a b*ner.

-Morning wood doesn't count.
- What? Morning wood?

What's morning wood?

-This?
-Yes, that's morning wood.

Wood is wood.

I'll start, you can follow.

I'm in love with you.

Daan, that's not how dirty talk works.

No, because I'm serious.

It's no crazy whim, it never was.

Sweet Daan.

Come.

Come back.

-Louise.
-Yes?

I think you need to go back to Alex now.

-What?
-He doesn't deserve this.

Get real.

-He needs you.
-Alex is a f*cking as*h*le.

No, no, no. I'm a f*cking as*h*le,
we're f*cking assholes.

Take that back!

Take it back. Take it back!

-Calm down!
-Take it back!

Daan, Daan!

Go to Alex.

Hey.

God, you're wet.

That's because of you.

-I'm talking about your hair.
-I was taking a shower.

Come.

What?

You just look spectacular.

You think?

Don't, no!

Seriously?

-What is it with you?
-What?

-You simply exude sex.
-You keep saying that.

And you keep on radiating.

I'm probably just happy.

Girls that are happy.

Girls that radiate. What drives them?

What possesses them?
What is their biggest secret?

Mm!

"I'm not addicted. I just need it."

"I f*ck Daan when Alex is working."

-What did you say?
-Don't you know it?

Jambers? Check it on YouTube sometime.

Next week: Sluts who double-dip
and keep denying it.

f*ck you!

f*cking sl*t!

f*ck you!

I'm winning!

-We have at least 400 shells.
-Yes, we're filthy rich.

You're a really cool nanny.

I'm having a lot of fun with you, too.

I don't understand
why the other nannies quit.

Mom didn't like them.

She likes you, though.

And Claudia.

-Claudia?
-Yes. She used to give Mom massages.

Oh. And did you like Claudia as well?

Yes.

-Hello.
-Hi.

-Beautiful, aren't they?
-Yes.

- It's 70 shells for one flower.
- That's a lot.

For you it's only 50.
Quickly, go to your mom before we're out.

Fifty's the normal price, isn't it?

Always let customers think
they're getting a bargain.

-Are you sad Claudia is gone?
-Yes.

She never even said goodbye.

Hello.

It's beautiful, isn't it?

Louise calling

Alex? What are--

If you ever come near the Crazy Lulu
or Louise again, I'll destroy you.

I trusted you.

No, no, no.

f*ck off. Get out, Alex!

Go home, man! Jesus…

Hey.

Did you rat me out with Alex?

-What?
-Did you rat me out?

He saw you kissing Daan.

Louise.

You're my best friend. I'm worried.

If Alex were with another,
you wouldn't say anything.

-That's different.
-Why, because he's a guy?

And Louise is the sl*t
who chats up his friend, right?

You and Alex are a great couple.

I always looked up to you.

I think it's a shame.

30 hrs
at the haas

Bellini?

Here.

Thanks.

Let me see.

You'll be suffering from that for a while.

Here we go.

-Almost there, almost there.

Yes.

Can you hold it yourself?

Thanks.

You're welcome.

My parents are gone and I'm hosting
a bachelorette party in the villa.

Emilie doesn't know.

Do your mom and dad know?

Of course, they're paying for it.
I just need to cover my tracks.

And who's invited?

-Hm?
-Twenty of her most boring girlfriends.

-Okay.
-But we're 21 if you come as well.

Duh.

If it's boring, you need to be there.
They don't come any more boring than you.

-Hey…

We'll get them all wasted
and then it will be fun after all.

-Thanks.
-Sure.

Put the hat back on.

-Jesus.
-He said he didn't like my style.

And that's why he knocked you silly?

Do you really think I'm that stupid?

Daan.

-He thought Louise and I--
-He thought?

He didn't think, he found out.

I warned you. Step back.

-Jacques…
-When I was your age,

I was in three rock bands. Three.

All three of them exploded.
Want to guess why?

-No idea.
-Testosterone.

The moment someone brought along
his girlfriend, it all went to hell.

So, what do you want me to do?

Talk to Alex?

Why would I?

You're the boss at the Lulu.

How do you figure?

I thought you had 51 percent of the shares
and Alex 49.

No, no, no. It's the other way around.

And he's a hundred percent right. Sorry.

Jacques.

Can I come work here again?

Put on your uniform.

-Is she asleep?
-Like a baby.

-That's good.
-I'll be leaving then.

Yes.

Do you want a drink?

Yes, lovely.

You know where the glasses are. Get some.

Are you busy?

The surprise party for Patrick,
the invitations. It's a lot of hassle.

Hi.

A thousand.

What?

Thirty grams, one thousand.

-And for me?
-What do you mean?

For friends?

We're not friends.

Okay.

Thanks.

At least you're looking
a lot better than Daan.

Because men have less stamina?

Alex beat Daan up.

What?

Jeez.

How bad is it?

He'll survive.

-Did you talk to him?
-Have a nice party.

Anouk, did you see him?

-Enjoy it.
-Anouk!

Anouk!

f*ck!

Louise calling

This is Daan.
Leave a message after the…

-Cheers.
-Cheers.

This is Daan.
Leave a message after the…

It's not my business,
but how do you manage?

What?

How happy are you
after 25 years of marriage?

That's indeed none of your business.

Okay.

Life isn't always a bed of roses.

True.

This is Daan.

-I strained my neck.
-Shall I…

-No, I just need to call my osteopath.
-If you'll allow me…

This is Daan.

This is Daan.

This is Daan.
Leave a message after the…

f*ck!

With most people the tension gathers here.

-Does this hurt?
-Yes.

-Hey.
-Hey, Louise.

-The party is in the garden. Take a glass.
-Thanks.

-That's beautiful.
-No expense spared.

-Thanks.
-Those stuck-up b*tches…

It's incredible,
but you remind me so much of someone.

-Of whom?
-Doesn't matter.

Come on. Of whom?

Her name was Claudia.

She worked here as a nanny for a while.

Olivia was crazy about her.

What am I doing?

Sorry. I'm really drunk.

I was out of order.

It's quite alright.

-I'll see you tomorrow.
-Yes.

Surprise!

What? Is that for me? Oh my god.

Thank you. Did you plan this, Lou?
That's really sweet.

-Hey, girl. Surprised?
- Yes, really.

So nice that you're here. Thank you.

Hey, hi.

-Hi, Margaux.
- Congrats.

Right, boss, one bottle of rosé,
two mojitos and a gin and tonic.

A bottle of rosé.

What else? A bottle of rosé, mojitos--
Hold on.

-Careful. Leave it.
-g*dd*mn.

-I'll clean it up.
-No, take care of the customers first.

- Everything alright?
- Yes, sure.

Thanks.

Louise's iphone

-Hey, where are Margaux and Louise?
-In their villa with 20 boring b*tches.

-For Emilie's bachelorette.
-Lots of drunk women together, great.

Guys, we're not missing anything.

This is so awesome. Thank you.

I haven't seen you like this
in a long time.

-Like what?
-Well, laughing.

Yes, I know.

A wedding is exhausting.
You'll understand when it's your turn.

Please, no. I really don't want that.

There's no escaping it.

Sure, because Mom's having a field day
with you right now.

With me it's going to be really quiet.

I don't think Mom will agree.

That doesn't matter,
I'm boss over my own life.

What are you trying to say?

Oh, nothing. Did you choose
your Masters in Business Engineering?

Did you pick Charles?

-Yes.
-Honestly?

-Honestly, Emilie? Really?
-Charles is a good guy from a good family.

That's true, but are you in love with him?

I want you to say: "Louise, I'm
so f*cking in love with Charles."

"If I don't see him for a few hours,
I miss him so much."

"When he calls me, I feel my heart race

a mile a minute in my throat."

You deserve to have your days with him
be the best of your life.

-You deserve that so much.
-I feel really weird.

I feel melancholy and happy
at the same time.

And incredibly horny.

-Wait here.
-Where are you going?

You are the most epic f*cking
boring b*tches ever.

Oh my god, it's the big bad wolf.

-Thank you.
-Have a good evening.

-Good evening.
-Bye.

Mom?

- Be careful.
- Ouch.

-What have you been up to?
-It was Alex.

He found out
and he brought a hockey stick.

My boy… Okay.

-Did you go to the hospital?
-No, Anouk took care of me.

Okay.

How was your day?

I was right about Patrick.

-Okay.
-He did something to Claudia.

Eleonore really loved her. Olivia told me.

And Eleonore said it herself.

After two bottles of wine
she thought I looked like her.

And she started kissing me.

-Kissing you?
-Yes.

Just kissing?

No, we then started banging each other
with strap-on dildos in front of the fire.

-What the f*ck?
-Daan. Watch a little less porn.

Jeez. After the kiss she became flustered
and she fled to the kitchen.

Are you okay?

-No.
-Are you still seeing her?

No? Maybe that's for the best.

I don't know.

Hey, boss.

-Is that your boss?
-Yes.

-Jacques, Mom. Mom, Jacques.
-Mom?

-Hello.
-Hi. I'm Melissa.

Hello. Do I know you from somewhere?

Not that I know.

- Sir?
-I could have sworn… Sorry.

I'm sorry, but these mojitos
don't taste right.

Ma'am, I've been making mojitos
that way for 40 years.

-Wait.
-Okay.

Come here.

Come.

-Is that Emilie's dress?
- Yes.

You're crazy.

You're so f*cking cool.

I really like you.

-How many chocolates did you eat?
-Two or three.

Emilie five.

Were they tasty?

-Tasty?

I laced them with ecstasy.

What?

I laced them with ecstasy.

I thought I felt different.

You were gone quickly.

-That's too much.
-Why? You blew a dancing wolf.

-Because you drugged me, b*tch!
-What the f*ck?

-You're mental!
-And you belong in a convent! f*ck you!

-I hate you!
-Shut your face!

f*cking sl*t.

Nice to have met you.
See you tomorrow, buddy.

-And be on time.
-Yeah, yeah.

No. No.

Lou!

Lou!

Lou!