01x01 - Bamboleo

[bunniefuu]

{\an8}Some say it inspired them
to do their own version of it.

Sure. Their version, my a*s!

I'm not denying it's a hit but come on.

This is "Caballo Viejo" by Simón Díaz,
or I'll be damned.

Am I right?

Hurry up, please.

You got it.

Don't you have anything smaller, love?

Keep the change,
for the banging rumba tunes.

Thanks very much!

POLIAKOFF CAR MECHANICS

OPEN FROM


Hello?

Don't move!

Ubaldo!

You, the one with the bag. Come here.

Let him go first!

You don't give the orders around here.

Come on!

-There?
-Yes.

Step back.

Shouldn't I count it first?

It's not all there?


because we had to pay for a taxi and...

I can't hear you.

The taxi driver didn't have any change
and we had to buy cleaning products.

What the f*ck are you saying?

This is what we'll do.

I'll count the money
so there is no trouble.

That way, everyone is happy.

-I said step back!
-But it'll just take a second.

Leave the f*cking bag alone!

Ubaldo! Ubaldo!

Drop the bag, b*tch!

You think this is a game?

-No.
-No.

We don't mess around!

Don't move!

You, get back, and you, drop the g*n!

Put it on the floor.

-You don't know what you're doing.
-More like you don't. But I'll tell you.

We're going to untie her husband
and take him with us.

And we're... we're going
to leave the bag here. Okay?

We'll go back to where we came from

and you can stay here doing your thing.

Stay away from the g*n!

We'll go our separate ways
then everyone's happy, got it?

Got it, blondie?

Yes.

What the f*ck, man?

Did you see that?

b*tch!

NO TRACES

Now moving onto the weather.

The sun is shining in Alicante, however,
potential rain is forecast for tomorrow.

The showers may...

A shot, please.

Aserrín, aserrán
The woodsmen of San Juan

They ask for bread, they don't get

They ask for cheese, they get bones

Very good, sweetie! You know it so well!

I'm going to put my pajamas on.

But say bye to your mom
and send her a kiss!

Don't worry, Mom.
I have to go to work anyway.

You look so tired.

I'm just working two shifts.

But...

Once you get here,
I'll feel so much better.

We will too, sweetie.

Now, sorry, Mom,
I really have to go to work.

I love you. We'll chat later.

Good morning!

Coffee! Let me smother you in kisses.

No, get away from my coffee.

Gross!

Yuck! You reek.

You don't deserve this. No way.

You're still drunk!
Keep your hangover to yourself.

Don't! It's black coffee,
you wouldn't like it anyway.

It doesn't have oat milk in it.

And you know what else?

I couldn't have breakfast.

Not even toast with butter, nothing.

Okay, I know.

-I forgot to get groceries, sorry.
-Sure.

But you didn't forget this.

It was a surprise. Don't you like it?

Look.

It runs at 100,000 RPM. 14 cyclones.

And it cleans up 99% of all particles.

Run it over my head
to see if it gets rid of my hangover.

Please, Cati. Please.

If I do that I'll vacuum out
what's left of your brain.

Ladies!

Good morning, Mr. Guzmán.

How is your wife?

The boss wants to know
when you will pay what you owe.

We already made the payments, right?

Mr. Guzmán, do you know what this is?

An investment.

With this we'll get more done,
which means more money for the boss.

I'm sorry, but I'll have to tell him
you don't have the money.

We do have the money
and you'll get it very soon.

Give us until next month.

Pretty please?

Come on, from one immigrant
to another, right?

I'm Spanish.

Cati...

Cati, my a*s!

Aren't you going to talk to me?

We're here.

My God. You couldn't be
more stubborn if you tried.

How many times do I have to say sorry?

Three weeks.

Do you really think we can get the money
in three weeks?

I'll sweep, I'll mop the floors.

I'll vacuum harder
than anyone has in their damn life.

I'll get us out of this mess,
as sure as my name is Desiré Montoya!

-What's going on?
-I don't know.

If you don't fix this, it's w*r, w*r, w*r!

If you don't fix this, it's w*r, w*r, w*r!

What's going on?

w*r, w*r, w*r!

Julia, what's going on?

We've been f*cking fired.

Máñez, you b*stard! Show your face!

-What do you mean?
-Just what I said. As of now.

We'll get our notice in the mail.

Can't we report them?

They'll just file for bankruptcy. Typical.

Son of a b*tch! You f*cking b*stard!

You son of a b*tch!

How can he be bankrupt
with a car like that?

I'll show you, you f*cking as*h*le!

Hey! Stop the car!

Give me that!

Desi!

Get out of the car!

Get out or I'll k*ll you!

I'll k*ll you, I swear to God!

Get out or I'll k*ll you!

I swear to God, I'll k*ll you!

f*cking snobs!

f*ck you, you as*h*le!

Desi!

f*ck you! sh*t!

Desi! The police!

So? We've been fired!

They'll arrest you.

I'd rather that
than do f*ck all like a moron.

I'd rather not be ratted out and deported!

POLICE

If you don't fix this...

So what do we do?

If you don't fix this...

Here. This one is silver.

Sure, royal silver!
It's not even worth three euros.

Are you sure?

Yeah, it only cost me four.

I should've broken into Máñez's unit
and smashed everything up!

Do you have anything good?

Yes, well, my...

It's real. It's the only g*dd*mn
genuine thing to come from Ubaldo.

No way. You're not selling
your wedding ring.

It's either that or not pay the rent.

No, I... I don't know.

We'll figure something else out.

You'll need another roommate with cash,
because I have nothing.

You... have me.

I could eat you up!

I'm gonna get changed,
I have to go to Jenny's birthday party.

-sh*t, that's today?
-It sure is.

Are you going?

I'm not in the mood,
but I promised my brother I'd go.

I'll go with you.

All the bling, the cash
You know I got it, it's hot

In the street with my people
I'm hot to trot

At night I can't sleep
Come on, light it up, light it up

I am different
You got it? You got it?

I am the boss
The president

-I'm getting off the stage.
-What?

-To be with Granny.
-Okay.

Photo!

Let's take another one!

Gorgeous!

You're a ballsy one!

-Granny!
-Hi!

-Have you eaten?
-No.

You didn't eat?

We sure like to drink, don't we?

-Don't let the potatoes burn!
-Try them, man!

-Where can I get a beer around here?
-What's up, my man?

Hello. Good evening.

Hello. Hi.

Eloy, can I get
two shots of vodka, please?

Are you okay?

I'm f*cking great.

Thanks!

Look at Jenny.

Look how pretty she is
in the purple dress.

She's smart, too.
She's going to study in Ireland.

Let me introduce you to her. Jenny!

Auntie!

You look so pretty!

This is Catalina.

-Hi.
-Hi.

Happy birthday!

She's the most influential girl
in all of Alicante.

-What's up, sis!
-Hey, bro! How's it going?

Come on, let's go!

I'll find you later.

Hey! What an epic party, right?

Mom went all out.

Hey, thank you for coming.

Thank you for inviting me,
even if it was last minute.

Don't start.

Am I wrong, though?

-Hi, Miguel.
-Hey.

Look who decided to show up!

You invite your sister without telling me?

If I'm bothering you then fine I'll go.

No, do as you please, as always.

Now you talk to me?

Two shots
got you sh**ting your mouth off.

-Please stop.
-It's okay, Miguel.

All she does is disrespect me.

Coming to my niece's birthday party
is disrespecting you?

No. Disrespecting me is showing up here
with a new girlfriend.

Me? No!

No, it's...

We just live together.

But it's not what you think,
we each have our own bedroom.

We're just roommates,
we share an apartment.

That's all. Look, I'm married.
I got married in Mexico.

The father of my daughter
is called Ubaldo.

I have a daughter.
I was studying forensics

but I got pregnant...

You don't need to tell her
your life story.

Neither do I.

I came to wish my niece a happy birthday.

If that bothers you, then deal with it.
That's your problem.

You'd better leave right now. Got it?

Jenny!

I wish you lots of happiness, sweetie.

In Ireland or wherever you go.

If they let you.

Here's to family!

Good evening.

Feeling better?

Much better. Shall we get another one?

No. Well, you can if you want.

I have to get up early.

I need to talk to Esmeralda.
I've no idea what to say.

Just one more. A quick one.

The bill, please, and...

And a shot!

INCOMING CALL


Can you pay?

Hello?

Thanks.

Yes?

Could you text me the address?

I can't hear anything.

It's 15 euros, right?

-We'll be there.
-Here's the exact amount.

Thanks.

We have a job!

What do you mean?

-We have a job tomorrow.
-What?

-Tomorrow?
-Tomorrow.

We have a job tomorrow!

-Lots of work!
-Let's go.

-We're going to work!
-Thank you!

-We are going to work!
-No!

What is this?

The lady said it was a house.

It looks more like 20 houses.

My God!

Hello?

We've come to clean up your sh*t!

Shut up you idiot!

You said no one was home.

Jesus!

What the hell?

Lucky assholes.

I look just like her.

No! Don't touch anything!

-Why? I'm thirsty.
-Don't touch anything.

Drink the window cleaner.

Come on, Cata!

Desi, stop it.

Take this seriously.

This job alone won't earn us
the money we need to pay our debts.

We have to leave it pristine
so they recommend us to others.

Okay? It has to be left spotless.

Spotless.

We can't leave any dirt.
Not even a single speck of dust.

Not a single g*dd*mn trace.

I've finished the kitchen.

It's epic, right?
It's bigger than our living room.

Everything is bigger than our living room.

"Don't touch anything!"

Aren't you done yet?

I'll finish vacuuming the bedroom,
then I'm done.

-I'll grab my things and I'll help you.
-Great.

Hey, could you bring the spray bottle?

The clothes these people have!

Cati!

Could you come here a second, please?

If I can hear you
it means you're not vacuuming enough!

What did you do?

Nothing!

I was just vacuuming under the bed

and suddenly something got sucked up.

-Is she alive?
-I don't know.

-Is she dead?
-She's dead.

-She's dead?
-Dead.

-Dead?
-Dead! Get that off her head.

I can't, it's stuck!

Wait.

I'm going to throw up.

Are you okay?

There is someone in the house.

-There is someone in the house!
-What? How? What?

No, there's nobody,
nobody is in the house!

Run!

No, not this way! Not this way!

-This way!
-Over here! Here!

The door...

Our stuff!

Our stuff! Our stuff!

-No! No! No!
-No.

Yes, yes. Throw it over, throw it!

No! No!

It's super expensive.

-Should I get something to wrap it in?
-Yes. Hurry!

Where is she? Cata?

-I found this bag.
-Put it in, help me.

-Help me! Wait.
-Yes.

Close it.

Throw it!

Hurry! Tidy this up! Make it all neat.

Hurry!

Did anyone see us?

I've no idea.
I don't know if anyone saw us!

We have to call the police.

What?

No. What are you on about? No way!

We'll do an anonymous call
and tell them everything.

You're not talking sense. What are we?

Cleaners.

To you and me maybe. To them
we're a f*cking gypsy and a dirty spic.

What did you just say?

Never say that again.
Mexico is in North America.

Gadjos don't say it, but they think it.

"Gypsies and sp*cs cause trouble."
It's how it is.

We didn't do anything.

I know, Catalina, but cops are cops.

They'll arrest us, then interrogate.

Just one anonymous call.

-That's all. Just one.
-No!

What the hell?

What are you doing, as*h*le?

What is this as*h*le doing?

-Pull over!
-He's following us!

-No!
-Faster!

They're following us!

sh*t! f*ck you, you as*h*le!

No! What are you gonna do?

I'm going to give this as*h*le
a piece of my mind.

Hey! What the f*ck are you doing, jerk?

-He has a g*n! A g*n!
-What?

They shot at us! They shot at us!

-They shot at us!
-They shot at us!

Drive faster, Cata!

Go faster! Hurry, Cata!

They're sh**ting at us!

Go! Go!

Faster!

Cata, please!

-Over there! Turn!
-You can't!

Just do it!

Go! Turn!

-It's a one-way street!
-Who cares!

God, please.

Quick, they're coming! Faster, Cata!

-Cata, no!
-Sorry!

Hey, we're sorry!

No! They're right behind us!

Are you talking to me, b*tch?

Stop the car, b*tch!

They're coming, hurry!

Son of a b*tch!

b*tches!

b*tches!

Hey, b*tches!

They're right there Catalina!

-What are you doing?
-It's red.

Cati, for God's sake, please go!

Let's go!

Drive.

Where are they?

Where the hell are the keys, Cati?


with three cups of detergent.

No traces will be left.

sh*t!

sh*t, sh*t, sh*t!

Who were those people?

Why do they want us dead?

We didn't do anything.
We just cleaned a house. That's all.

Well, we also vacuumed
a dead woman's hair.

The dead woman. Don't remind me!

-The vacuum cleaner!
-What?

-The vacuum cleaner.
-What?

If the police show up,
the first thing they'll see

is the dead woman's hair
in the vacuum cleaner.

Gross.

-It fell.
-What do I do with it?

Pick it up.

-We'll be accused of desecration!
-No!

The police aren't coming
because we didn't do anything.

Desi...

We did do something.

-Who is it?
-How should I know?

Is it the murderers?

How do they know where we live?

I don't know.

We have to do something.

Anything.

What are you doing?

I'll give them the money.
It's what they want.

Then they can leave us alone.

What if they k*ll us anyway?

Do you really think
the vase is going to help?

I'll open the door.
If they want to come in, they will.

If only you knew, shorty
How much I love you

Because you are what's good in my life

Shorty, I'll spoil you like crazy
Come on, come on

Love me back

My Catita. Catita, my love.

Why are you here, Ubaldo?

-I love you.
-Wasn't he in Mexico?

Listen, Cata.

I know I stole, lied,
betrayed and abandoned you...

-A gem with a face to match!
-Shut up.

-A little respect!
-You shut up too!

Everyone shut up!

Come here.

-My Cata...
-What are you doing here, Ubaldo?

What do you want?

Listen, Cata,
all I want is for you to forgive me

and for us to be together, like before.

For us to live together.

No way in hell are you living here!

Well then, my love, will you forgive me?

Well...

These are beautiful!

Get a move on, we've got to go.

We'll talk later. We have to go, okay?

We're going to... to...

To work!

We're going to work.

I'll be back in two and a half hours.
You stay here, okay?

-Okay.
-Let's go!

Shut up!

Thanks.

Well?

At first glance, I would say
it's been done by professionals.

They cleaned thoroughly.

Nothing then? Not a single trace?
Nothing out of place?

Nothing.

Okay.

Yes, exactly.

Well go track him down then.

Okay, perfect.

Okay, great.

Great. Okay, we've got hold of him.

Thanks, buddy.

The husband's been located. He's at work.

Shall we go?

Tell them to take this glass.

The glass.

It's a sh*t ton of money.

Desi, do you realize
how much it costs to get two plane tickets

to go from Mexico to here?

No, I'm no thief. No!

I don't want to keep anyone's money.

Anyone's.

All I'm saying is, f*cking hell!

We're always in the sh*t.

We have a job and we get fired.

We find a new job
and there's a dead woman under the bed.

I randomly grab a bag and...

Who called you?

Who was it that called you?

I don't know. Some lady.

How did she get your number?

No idea. Someone must have recommended us.

I don't know. This is all very weird. No.

We got played.

We got f*cking played!

f*ck! This is a load of f*cking bullshit!

f*ck!

sh*t!

Who are you calling?

Whoever called to offer us the job.

You have reached
the Roselló Levante Holding Group.

Customer service is available from


How was it?

Fine. Looks like they all have an alibi.

How did it go with the husband?

Can you do the report?

Sure.

sh*t, sh*t, sh*t!

What?

What?

That was Irene.

Irene who?

Your Irene!

She got a haircut.

What are the police doing here?

She looks...

prettier.

Desi, snap out of it!

-Come on.
-She looks so pretty.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

We need to sneak in.

If only we were invisible!

What are we doing here?

We don't even know who called me.

You have their number, don't you?
So call them.

Of course, you're right.

Okay...

Yes.

They're not picking up.

Where are you going?

Sorry? I just...

We have to vacuum in there.
Come on, go home.

Can't I...

No.

Have a nice day, handsome!

Listen.

Let's go, nobody's answering.

-It's dangerous. Let's go.
-No!

-We'll get caught.
-We'll lie.

-What else can we do?
-I don't know.

In there. It's ringing in there.

SECRETARY

What do we do now?

Look for something.

Something.

-Look for something, yeah.
-Something.

Let's look for something.

-What is it?
-Come here!

{\an8}Who is she? She looks familiar.

{\an8}It's the dead woman!

{\an8}"The Rosellós, a successful family.

{\an8}"The Roselló empire
in the hands of a woman.

"The sister of Eduardo
and wife of Néstor Máñez."

Máñez!

Our boss is the dead woman's husband?

It was him! It was him!

I almost sh*t my pants, but it's all good.

-Everything's fine. All good.
-Super!

Everything's great.

Our car is wrecked. We got fired.

I don't know what to say
to Ubaldo. What a great day!

I don't think anything else
can happen to us today.

What else could go wrong?

Hello?

You got away fast this morning.

But your husband isn't so fast.

It's the men with the truck.

What do you want?

Poliakoff Garage.

You have one hour. Bring the bag.

They have Ubaldo,
they want their bag.

Calm down. It's okay. Look at me.

Everything is going to be okay, all right?

Everything is going to be okay.

b*tch!

No!

No please! Before you k*ll us
can I say something to my husband?

I can't hear you.

I want to tell my husband something
before you k*ll us, please.

Ubaldo.

Ubitas.

My Uba.

I want to say I'm sorry.

You don't know how many times I thought...

"I wish he would just f*ck off.

"That f*cking a*usive,
cheating, misogynistic drunk."

But now, seeing you like this...

We weren't in a good place,
Ubaldo, we weren't.

In all honesty, that was your fault.

Don't deny it. Don't deny it.
It was your fault.

It was your fault, Ubaldo.

But now seeing you like this...

all I can think of is Esmeralda.

About how she'll be left
without her dad and mom.

Because...

they're going to k*ll us, Ubaldo.
They're going to k*ll us

and Esmeralda
is going to be left all alone.

Can I... Can I give him a kiss, please?

Come on, man.

One last kiss?

What are you doing here?

Guzmán?

That's not my husband!

You're not her husband?

He's the doorman of our building.

So basically, you saw a Latino guy
and assumed he was my husband.

What the f*ck? Is she calling us racists?

He's not even Mexican.

What, are you calling us racists?

Wait!

Don't k*ll him, please.

Are you stupid or what?

"Don't k*ll him. Please."

What the f*ck, man?

Run, Cata!