01x05 - The w*r

[bunniefuu]

[Matt] Yeah. I'm just getting in now.

There was a million m*therf*ckers trying
to get on the lot this morning.

[Petra] That Netflix Waterloo
miniseries started sh**ting today.

Oh, that's right. Don't remind me.

We're renting out our stages
to those f*cking hacks.

[Petra] Also, Chris Hemsworth is
in town this week

and wants to get martinis,
but... [sighs] ...you're booked solid.

Oh, no. Really?

Okay, look. If any slot opens up,
instantly fill it with Chris Hemsworth.

I love that dude. Okay?

[Sal] Yo, where are we at on WINK, man?
Are we closed?

[agent 1] Almost. Parker just wants to
meet Matt before wrapping this up.

I told you that's gonna happen.
Matt wants to do it.

He said to me, actually this morning, he
said, "I can't wait to meet Parker Finn."

So, tell Parker that so we can close
the deal, sign some papers.

[agent 1] Also, Parker's still worried
it's too similar to Smile.

He doesn't want to direct
the exact same movie again.

[Sal] Yeah, don't even worry about that.

He's gonna talk to Matt,
who will assuage him.

And we are gonna make a great movie.

[Quinn sighs] Trust me, it'll be fine.

[agent 2] Quinn, stop dicking around.
Has Matt even read Owen's script or not?

[Quinn] Matt has just got a lot
on his plate right now.

But I'm gonna follow up with him
first thing this morning.

[agent 2] You've been saying this
for months.

We went with you because you said
you had a lot of sway over there.

Can you get a movie made or not?

I absolutely can get a movie made.
I just... I... I'm-I'm sorry.

Can you... Can you hold on a second?

Hi. Hi. I'm so sorry. What is happening?

Miss, lot's full. I'm gonna have you park
in the remote garage down the street.

Um, but it's-it's 8:45,
so how's it already full?

Uh, well, we lost two floors
this week for a production.

Okay, um, Officer Anderson, is it?

Would it be possible, actually,
to get a permanent spot next to my office?

Because I've worked here
for five years, so...

I mean, operations can help you
with your assigned spot.

For now, you're gonna have to park
down the street.

Okay. You know, I'm a CE.

That stands for creative exec,
which I guess means f*cking nothing.

[agent 2 chuckles] Hey, still here.
Good luck finding a parking spot.

- And get Owen Kline's f*cking movie made!
- [call ends]

[Quinn] f*ck my f*cking a*s.

[chattering]

- Hey, can I get a water from you?
- Sure.

Thank you.

Look who decided to show up to work.

[chuckles] Literally two minutes
after nine. [chuckles]

I know. I'm just kidding. [chuckles]
But seriously, we start at nine, you know?

Of course. Yeah. Um, hey, did you get
a chance to read that script I sent you?

Which one was that?

The low-budget slasher that
Owen Kline wrote for himself to direct.

I think he's so talented and so smart.

Yeah, no.
It was actually a really fun read.

But Sal's been also developing
a low-budget slasher movie,

and I don't think we can do both,
you know.

The rip-off of Smile?
We're still definitely doing that one?

Oh, yeah. Definitely.

He actually got a director
on board he's really psyched about.

We were just gonna go meet about it.

Why don't you just
help him with his instead?

Yeah, totally. [panting]

[chuckles]

What up, baby?

- Salamander. [blabbers]
- [blabbers]

- Fresh draft. Hot off of the press.
- Nice.

[Quinn] Hey, Sal. How are you?

- Hey. Uh...
- [Quinn clears throat]

Matt, I thought you
and I had a meeting right now.

Oh, yeah. Quinn's actually gonna jump
on board the WINK stuff from now on.

Hey, Petra, can you come in here
and take some notes, please?

- Okay. [clears throat]
- [Petra] Yep, on my way. Coming. Coming.

Yeah, sorry.

Don't be sorry. Just take notes.

All right. So, WINK...

Oh, love that script. Ghosts that wink
before they m*rder? [growls]

Oh, that was cool.

Uh, script is really great.
Uh, Parker Finn offer out.

He wants to meet you,
which I said was fine.

Isn't that the guy who directed Smile?

- Yep.
- Really? Him?

Why do you say that like that?

Just 'cause I feel like
if we're already ripping off his movie,

it makes sense to hire,
like, a new, cool director, you know?

Just so it doesn't feel stale.

Yeah, I mean, I don't think
it's gonna feel stale, you know?

The offer's out, the meeting's
being set for this week.

But that was awesome. Great idea.

Hmm. Well, yeah.
But maybe we shouldn't settle, you know?

We should probably
take some more meetings.

[gasps] Oh, what about Owen Kline? He's
been dying to make a slasher for forever.

That's actually a really interesting idea.

Wait a minute. The Owen Kline?
Uh, follow-up. Who the f*ck is Owen Kline?

He literally made one
of the coolest movies of 2022. So...

- Did he really? Oh.
- Yeah, it's called Funny Pages.

- And it went to Cannes.
- [imitates nerd]

And A24... stop doing
that... A24 released it.

The Safdie brothers EP'ed it.

Wait, wait. All jokes aside... Cannes,
A24 and Safdies? I-I like all of that.

So do I. WINK is not an A24 movie,
all right?

It's not for a bunch of pansexual
mixologists living in Bed-Stuy.

This is a wide release for normal American
people who like cool movies.

Okay, but if we are making
a low-budget movie

maybe it makes sense to
take a big swing on a director.

If you take a big swing,
you can strike out.

Matt, I got you
the original director of Smile

to basically remake his own movie
for this studio.

If a scary smile could gross
over two hundred million,

imagine what a scary wink
could do. [growls]

Just because that worked one f*cking time
doesn't mean it's gonna work again.

All right.
There are 11 Fast and the Furious movies

that prove your little theory
f*cking stupid, man.

Okay, listen. I would love to
be proven wrong by you, okay?

- You are.
- I would love to be.

But I just think this idea, as it stands,
is just a little lame.

[clicks tongue]

- Lame?
- It is not lame.

- Yeah. Just a little. Yeah.
- [chuckles] It is not lame.

I mean, honestly, I kinda had, like,
fears it was a little lame.

- It's not.
- And I was like, "It's not lame."

- And then she said it was lame.
- She's f*cking dumb.

- And then I'm like, "Oh, no. Is it lame?"
- Okay, well...

Maybe it is lame.
Honestly, I-I don't want this whole thing

to come across as,
like, a cynical cash grab.

- Well, you need a hit, so it kind of is.
- Yeah.

Well, but it doesn't have to
be that. [chuckles]

You know, I-I'll meet the Smile guy,
but I'll also meet Owen Kline.

He-He-He sounds cool.

- He's so cool. Amazing.
- That is great news.

[phone ringing]

Matt Remick's office. Oh, yes. One second.

It's Johnny Knoxville.

[Matt gasps] Get out. I need to take this.

Knox, Knox, m*therf*cker.

Oh, I mean... Yeah, I'll hold for Johnny.

[groans] Quinn, what the f*ck was that?

What was what?

Owen Kline? I'm making a deal.

I've been trying to get Parker Finn
on this for f*cking weeks.

Owen Kline is cool.

It's not a cool contest.

That's literally all Matt talks about.

Matt let you into my meeting
and you absolutely derailed it.

Derailed it? I helped you.

You said the word lame. And you know
that is very triggering to Matt.

[sighs]

When I was
a first-year creative executive,

I did not pitch directors willy-nilly.

I shut the f*ck up because if I didn't,
someone would throw a stapler at my head.

Well, times have changed.

If you throw a stapler at my head,
you're gonna end up dead like Scott Rudin.

Is Scott Rudin dead?

Professionally, yeah.

Okay, well, professionally, if you
don't start respecting the hierarchy,

you'll probably be gone too.

Are you threatening me? Is that a threat?

I'm trying to give you
some f*cking friendly advice.

Chill out, you f*cking maniac.

[breathes deeply, clears throat, sighs]

- Fire!
- [Miles moaning, panting]

Oh! Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. This feels so good.

- [groaning]
- Oh, God. Quinn, isn't this amazing?

- [groans]
- Oh, did you just c*m?

- No. [grunting]
- Oh. [grunts] Oh. This is so good.

- Isn't this so good? [grunts]
- Oh, my God.

- [grunts] I'm so sick of getting f*cked.
- What?

Oh, my God. Okay. I'm sorry.

Sorry. Sorry. It's not you.
I'm sorry. [sighs]

I just had a really shitty day at work.

And you're thinking about it now?

Yes. I'm sorry. Also, when you f*ck me
from behind my mind wanders sometimes.

- Sal's just pissing me off. [panting]
- Oh. About what?

He said when he was my age,
he just listened in meetings.

He didn't speak. Isn't that crazy?
To not talk at work?

Well, maybe it's your job
to just listen sometimes.

Well, then why did I get promoted
if I can't talk in meetings?

I swear to God,
he's just threatened by me.

Well, you have said repeatedly
that you think you're smarter than him

and that you want his job.

And why shouldn't I have his job?
Because I'm young?

Alexander the Great was king
by 20 years old.

[chuckles] That was literally 2,000 years
ago, and everyone was dead by 28.

[sighs]

My talents are being wasted.

You guys excited?
A little Musso and Frank's on a weekday?

Wow. What a cool dad.

You guys can get whatever you want.

If you wanna get a glass of wine,
get a glass of wine.

I don't give a sh*t.
Just don't tell your mother, please.

I saw a pretty funny meme this week.

It was, uh, Schwarzenegger and
Carl Weathers doing the Predator hands.

I was... Ooh! Here we go.
Yay, yay, yay. Thank you.

Girls...

Thanks.

[imitating baby] Thank you.

Skye, why are we still doing
the baby voice? [chuckles]

[imitating baby] Hmm. I dunno.

Yeah.

Oh, Bella, hey.
How's photography classes going?

Your mom sent me a photo you took.
It was gorgeous.

Darkroom class sucks. It takes, like,
two hours to develop a single photo.

Yeah, that-that does kind of suck.

Just take it on your phone, you know.
Easier. [sips]

- Mmm. Food.
- [phone rings]

- Steak for her.
- Hi, hi.

- This is the Bolognese girl right here.
- Yeah, I can talk.

If you could get
a little extra Parmesan cheese?

You're not gonna talk right now.
Skye, Skye, Skye.

All right. Hey, Bell, do you want a claw
or do you want part of the tail or what?

Dad, I've been a vegan since last week.

Why didn't you tell me that
before I ordered all this food?

I told you last time you called
and you forgot.

And I didn't even wanna be here
in the first place.

This place is so old and lame like you.
You don't get anything. You're so cringe.

I'm gonna go vape outside.

[sighs] You know I canceled a meeting
with Eli Roth to be here with you?

Who?

[sighs]

[sighs] Jesus Christ.

[sighs]

- [assistant] How was lunch?
- So good. You like lobster?

Hey, did the Parker Finn meeting get set?

Because he needs to meet Matt
for that deal to go through.

Uh, yeah. It's confirmed
for tomorrow at 2:00 p.m.

Okay, I need you to reconfirm it.

Because if it doesn't happen, I'm dead
and I will take you with me, Daniel.

- [Daniel] Okay. Cool.
- [Sal] You'll come to hell with me.

...intended to be a temple of cinema.

Oh, hey. You're still here.

- Yeah, I have so much work to do.
- Do you need any help?

- No, you go home. You get your rest.
- Oh, okay. Have a good night.

- Yeah. Sleep tight, pretty Miss Thang.
- See you tomorrow.

Really, Petra?

And delete.

Hey, Parker's here.

- Where's Matt?
- Oh, he's right there.

Oh, great.

[grunts]

You ready for a little meeting, buddy?

Um, I have a meeting. I have no idea
what you're doing. [chuckles]

I'm going to a meeting with you
and Parker Finn right now.

Who?

Parker Finn. The WINK guy? That's him in
the black right there. [exhales sharply]

I don't know what the f*ck
you're talking about.

I've got lunchtime martinis
with Chris Hemsworth right now. [chuckles]

No, no, no. This was in your calendar.

Maybe Petra got her wires crossed.
You know, she's still new.

She's figuring sh*t out.

- And she's honestly not that smart.
- Uh, okay.

But I definitely have lunch 'tinis
with Chrissy Hems.

Okay. We are on the one-yard line
with this movie. All right.

This guy needs five minutes of your time.
Give me five minutes.

You can still meet Hemsworth.
We can still get--

Oh, yeah. I'll just tell Chris
to sit around

with his giant Australian thumb
up his f*cking a*s.

Absolutely not. Stop touching me.

- Please, please--
- f*cking deal with it.

Parker Finn.

- Yo. What's up, Sal?
- How are you doing, baby?

- Good, man.
- All right. Good, good.

Did one of these mongrels offer
you water or coffee?

Yeah, yeah.
No, I crushed like three waters

while I was waiting for you and Matt.
Let's do this, man.

Nice. Uh, so,
Matt, not gonna join us today,

but I think we can get a lot of work done.

- We can talk about casting and--
- What? What are you talking about?

Yeah.

I thought the whole point of me coming
down here was to meet with Matt?

It was.

Huge problem on one of the sets that
he had to go deal with. But it's fine.

Dude, you remember
when you told me this project

was a huge priority for your studio?

I said that because it is. Okay?

And... [stammers] ...there was an expl*si*n
on one of the sets.

- Sal...
- Some people died.

And-And it's not personal.

Not personal? What do you mean
it's not personal?

You guys are asking me to basically
rip off my own f*cking movie, okay?

It's personal when Matt doesn't show up
to the meeting.

Yeah. He feels so angry about it,
and so do I.

[sighs] Give me one more chance.
Tomorrow, you, Matt.

You name the time.
We work around Parker Finn.

- I can do 9:15. That's it, Sal.
- 9:15. Done. Done deal.

- [sighs] Thank you.
- Yeah. Whatever.

I'll bring the Courage Bagels,
my friend. [chuckling]

m*therf*cker.

Hey, Daniel!

Why didn't Matt know
about that f*cking meeting just now?

I don't... I don't know. I don't...
I don't know. I set it.

- I swear. I swear. I swear.
- Did you? Okay. I hope you're right.

Uh... Uh, look.

- Petra!
- Hi.

How come the Parker Finn meeting
was not in Matt's calendar?

Uh, it-it-it was. I put it in.
S-Someone must've deleted it.

[gasps] Oh, my God. I got hacked.

Yeah, you definitely got hacked.

- Your password is 1234...
- Oh, my God.

...and it's written
on a Post-it note on your monitor.

- Oh my God, I'm sorry.
- 9:15 a.m. tomorrow.

- Matt, Parker Finn, me.
- Yeah, yeah.

It cannot be moved.


It cannot be moved. Okay.

Oh, my God. Am I gonna get in trouble?

Not you.

Sorry.

[Quinn] Hey, Matt. Owen's here.

Oh. Are you guys meeting Owen Kline?

- Yep.
- Yeah.

I'm gonna join.

Um, well, it's kind of
a preliminary meeting.

- Sort of a get-to-know-you, so--
- I can't wait to get to know him.

There he is in our fountain

just like Frank Lloyd Wright envisioned.
[chuckles]

[sighs] Owen, hi.

- Quinn. What's cracking? Nice to see you.
- [gasps] We finally got you in here.

- Matt, Owen.
- I'm Matt. So nice to meet you.

- I loved your film.
- Thank you. I love your lobby.

Sal. I missed it but I heard great things.
Great things.

- Jesus f*cking Christ, how old are you?
- Nice to meet you.

- You're a baby. [chuckles]
- [chuckles]

- Thirty-two-year-old man.
- Bullshit.

- Young genius. Yeah. Let's get in.
- I really am. I really am. Uh...

Come on, little fella.
Ooh, you got your homework in here?

[Owen chuckles]

Look. I mean, to be honest,

when-when Quinn first came to me
with this idea,

I was a little bit hesitant at first.
But, look, if you guys are actually

open to doing something different,
I have a lot of ideas.

We love new ideas.

Just not too new, 'cause we got
a pretty tight formula that we got to hit.

[stammers] I wouldn't say it's a formula,
so much as a structure

that we a hundred percent know works
so we're gonna do it over and over again.

Right. Okay, well, look,
I wanna entertain audiences.

Just without compromising creativity.
Does that make sense?

Oh, trust me. You're gonna have to
compromise your creativity.

[chuckles] I mean, I think what
Sal is just trying to say is

these movies, they do well
at the box office and we just...

- Right.
- ...want to maintain that

as much as possible.

- That makes sense. Of course.
- Pop quiz, hotshot.

- We make the movie, we edit it.
- Yeah.

- You love it.
- Yeah.

It's your favorite movie you've ever made.

But we test it and it gets a 23.
What do you do?

- What do I do? What do I do?
- Yeah.

Twenty-three out of what exactly?

Out of what? Out of a hundred.
What the f*ck? What do you do?

- [Quinn] Relax, Sal.
- What do I do?

I would consider the feedback
and take it into serious consideration,

and if there's criticisms that make sense,
I would probably make some changes.

- Right? Isn't that--
- [imitates buzzer] If you get a 23

you're rewriting that thing
whether you like it or not.

- You're doing 30 pages of reshoots...
- [Quinn] Okay, Sal. Come on.

...in three days.

- I don't think you can do 30 in three.
- We've done it before.

- That's not even possible.
- These are ridiculous hypotheticals.

- No. Let's actually get down to business.
- That doesn't make sense.

- Right, Matt? That's ridiculous.
- I don't know. I wanna hear

what he says if his movie tests like sh*t.

- That's a good question I think.
- [Quinn] Yeah. Totally.

[chuckles] Uh, I've heard a lot
of good movies get low scores. Am I wrong?

- [imitates buzzer] Again...
- You're absolutely right.

...a lot of pretentious
art house sh*t that dies

- at the box office.
- Oh. Okay.

Those test low.
We want this to not be that.

- [Quinn] Saw, Final Destination...
- Listen.

- You're gonna make a great WINK.
- No, I'm listening.

- Wait, wait, wait. What are you--
- It's not gonna be mine.

I appreciate...
You got a strong vision for this though.

I'm really... I'm rooting for it.
So, listen...

We should just revisit this meeting...

- and we can circle back and then--
- I'm not revisiting anything. I'm out.

Godspeed, little fella.

That kid was not as cool
as I was hoping he'd be.

I like him, but we dodged a b*llet.

Yeah, maybe someone who went to Cannes
isn't the best guy to remake a movie

that's already been remade twice,
you know?

Three times if you count the short.
But, hey, Parker Finn.

Oh, yeah. Excited to meet him.

Better luck next time, Quinn.

- You'll get 'em.
- [Quinn] Yeah.

What the f*ck was that?

That was tit for tat.

- What are you talking about?
- What am I talking about?

Don't play dumb with me. Come on.

I know you had something to do with Matt
not being at the Parker Finn meeting.

But now you know,
don't f*ck with my slate.

You're the one f*cking
with my slate, okay.

I've been trying to
get my first movie greenlit

while you're remaking a movie
for the third f*cking time.

Stay in your lane. Wait your turn.

At this rate, I'm never gonna have a turn.

[sighs] Honestly, yeah,
you're probably right.

[scoffs] I'm smarter than you.

- [chuckles]
- I watch more films than you.

I actually went to film school...

- "Ooh, I went to film school."
- ...and I care about filmmaking.

Okay. We don't make films. We make movies.

And we're not artists. We're executives.
And you're not even that.

You're just a f*cking D-girl. Ooh.

[scoffing]

Did you steal that from The Sopranos?

Your burns aren't even original.

Gabagool. Mwah!

Daniel, come to me.

D-girl? f*cking D-girl.
I'll show you f*cking D-girl.

[military march playing]

- Great work, Daniel.
- Thank you. [chuckles]

- [tour driver chattering]
- [military march continues]

[keys jingle, clatter]

[breathes deeply]

Ooh. You brought the Perriers out
to impress Parker Finn.

- [chuckles] Yeah.
- That's how you seal the deal.

[Daniel] Yeah.

[Sal] What the f*ck?

[phone ringing]

Hello? Golf... The golf cart in your spot?
That's weird. Yeah, yeah.

Just one second. I'll move it right now.
I'll move it right now.

Hey, uh, has anyone seen
Sal's golf cart keys?

No? Have you seen them?
Have you seen the keys?

[Petra] No.

Quinn. Quinn.

Uh, I saw you at my desk yesterday.
Did you take the keys?

No. I did not do that.

Wha... Wha... I don't believe you.

- I don't f*cking believe you.
- Okay.

f*ck. f*ck. f*ck! f*ck!

Hi, I'm calling
from the Steinberg building.

There's a Porsche parked illegally
right out front,

license plate number 8A76H3.

Someone needs to tow it away immediately.

Thank you so much.

Quinn, what the f*ck are you doing?

Stop eavesdropping. God, Daniel,
why are you so obsessed with me?

What the f*ck? f*ck!

Sal, I'm coming. I'm coming. I'm sorry.

[Sal] What the f*ck is happening here?

Sir, you can't park here.

Yeah, no f*cking sh*t.
That's my space. I'm Sal.

Someone parked their golf cart here.

Do you have, like, a universal key
or something?

Unfortunately not.

Sal, the golf cart keys are usually
on my desk and they're not.

- But I swear to God it was Quinn.
- sh*t.

- Sir, you're gonna have to move your car.
- Yeah, I can move it.

No, you will scratch it again.

For the millionth time,
I'm sorry I did that.

Oh, f*ck off! It's 9:15.

If Parker Finn shows up, you tell him
I'll be there in three f*cking seconds.

- Run, Daniel. Go now. Go! Go!
- Okay, okay, okay.

Thank you for nothing, Officer Johnson.

- [assistant] Here we are, Mr. Finn.
- Thanks for the ride.

Jesus f*cking Christ.

[groans] Oh, my God.

Move, you f*cking French pussies.

[groans] Excuse me, please.

f*ck it!

[groans] Jesus Christ.
Jesus f*cking Christ.

[panting]

- f*ck!
- [crew member] Hey!

- You can't park here.
- It's fine. I'm fine.

f*ck!

- Oh! Oh, my God. [groans]
- [actor] Oh, sh*t! I'm so sorry.

- Are you okay?
- No! No!

[groans] Oh, f*ck.

[grunts]

- What the f*ck?
- [caterer pants] I'm sorry.

[groans] Move!

Obviously, get the f*ck out of the way.

Hey, excuse me. Uh, do you know
what time we're getting started?

It's 9:25 and I have to leave soon
for another meeting.

Uh, yeah. We're just waiting on Sal.
One second.

- Where is he?
- Oh, I'll ask and I'm sorry.

- [Matt] Yo.
- Do you know where Sal is?

No. He was supposed to be here
ten minutes ago. What are we doing here?

Well, do you want to
go in there by yourself?

Absolutely not.
I don't know this f*cking guy.

I'm not gonna make small talk with him.

sh*t. He's coming. I'm pretending to be
on the phone.

- Let me know if Sal gets here.
- Okay.

Uh-huh. Totally.
Totally, totally, totally.

- Hey, Matt.
- Yo, sorry. I'm on a call.

- Yeah. I think I'm gonna head out.
- Great. Cool. Thanks for coming in.

Have a good one.

- Huge fan of Smile.
- Great.

[Quinn] And Smile 2.

- Parker Finn! [pants]
- What?

Sal, are you kidding me, man?
What is that?

No, no. Dude. What? Get away from me.

- f*ck. Sorry.
- Dude, look at you. You're late.

You're covered in... What is this, sauce?

- It's chili.
- Dude, no. f*ck you. f*ck Matt.

f*ck this whole place, man.

- Parker, Parker, Parker. Stop!
- I'm going back to Paramount.

Just let me f*cking explain. f*ck.

Hey, Sal.
You got a little something on your shirt.

Hey! Quinn!

- What?
- I know this was you.

How could this possibly be my fault?

Don't play dumb for the first time
in your life.

I know you put that f*cking golf cart
in my parking space.

- And why would I do that, Sal?
- Don't f*ck with me, missy.

Hey, do not talk to me like I'm 12.

- Get that f*cking thing out of my face.
- [gasps]

What are you gonna do with that, Sal?

[laughs] I'm gonna throw it
in your stupid little f*cking face.

You're gonna throw a burrito
at a young woman?

- Yes. Yes, I am.
- Hmm.

No, you don't have the ba*ls
to f*cking do that.

- You think so?
- Mm-mmm.

You don't think I have the ba*ls?
The f*cking ba*ls?

Make my day. Make my life, old man.
Come on. What you got? Come on.

Let's go, old man. Right here.
Here's your target.

- [gasps]
- [groans]

What is wrong with you?

- Oh, my God.
- [Sal] No, no, no, no.

[clamoring]

- Oh! No, no, no. Stop!
- Oh! Oh, my God. Oh! Oh, my God.

- Oh, oh, oh! Oh, my God! [gasps]
- [actors clamoring, screaming]

[crew member] Holy sh*t.

Well, no one got seriously hurt,
so that's good.

That's great.

Yeah, thank f*cking God for that one, huh?

But Netflix needs us
to investigate the accident

to get insurance to cover the damages.

Well, who caused the accident?

Well, we don't know who caused it,
but we do know what. A quesarito.

- I thought it was a burrito.
- A quesarito's a type of burrito.

Why wouldn't you just say burrito?

I was being specific.
Do you wanna run this meeting, John?

Yo, yo, yo. I don't give a sh*t
about any of that.

Just tell me how this caused
the accident, please.

So, this quesarito hit an AD
driving a golf cart in the face,

causing him to crash into the set.

Why would somebody throw a burrito
at an assistant director's face?

- Great question.
- Jesus.

HR will be handling things
from here on out.

If it was an accident, it'll slide.

But if it wasn't, well,
that's another story.

Well, the important thing is
no one got hurt,

so it kind of doesn't matter.

I mean, it matters. I wanna know
if I gotta fire somebody over this.

It feels like an accident though.
Thanks, guys.

[Matt] But if it's not,
definitely find out who did it.

- [Sal] Accident.
- [Matt] Or not.

Hi. Laura from HR.

Do you have any idea
who eats this kind of burrito?

Oh. There she is.
The one with the burrito. Right there.

f*ck me. f*ck me.
f*ck me. f*ck me. I'm so f*cked.

f*ck me in the a*s. f*ck me in the a*s.

[whispering] Excuse me. I'm so sorry.
Excuse me. Oh, God.

Now, behind me,
across from the office area,

are Continental's screening rooms.

Directors will screen early cuts
of their films for Continental executives,

or collect audiences' feedback
before heading back to the cutting room.

Before the advent of digital,

these screening rooms were used
to screen pictures...

- All right. There you are. Listen.
- Oh, my God. [pants]

HR's onto us, so we need to
get our stories straight, all right?

There was a burrito. There was a bee
right there on top of the burrito,

so I f*cking hit it and it went flying

and it hit the guy,
and that's what happened.

No. No. No, no, no. We...
We are not getting out of this.

I am getting out of this,
and you are going down.

- I'm going down? [laughs]
- Yes! Yes!

- What the f*ck are you talking about?
- Oh, this is my chance, m*therf*cker.

I'm gonna tell her that
you threw that burrito at me.

And when I do, you're out of here.

Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
You were asking for it.

- Oh? That's not gonna hold up...
- Yeah.

...in the court of HR. You are so f*cked.

All right. Yo, for real,
I will get massacred in there.

And I'm technically a bit of a minority.

A bit of a woman of color.
So you're double f*cked.

I'm gonna be a hero.
There are gonna be marches in my name.

Hey. Please don't do this.

Okay, so when you get fired,
I'm definitely gonna get promoted, right?

That means I am getting your office,
and your parking spot, and your salary.

- Holy sh*t!
- Listen to me, all right?

I'm gonna be honest with you.
I have two daughters,

and they are not smart
and they are not talented.

And I'm gonna have to
bankroll their lives.

And I'm here, begging you to let this go.
Please.

Listen, Sal, it's not personal, okay?

- It's business.
- All right.

Quinn. Quinn. Come on. Come on.
Okay, look.

Hey, I'm sorry I treated you like sh*t
because you're young, okay?

It's just you remind me of my daughters.

- Oh, I'm not falling for that one.
- No, no, no. Not like that. It's just...

They also think I'm a loser.

You all have the same youthful disdain
when you look at me.

And when you said that my WINK idea
was lame in front of Matt,

it made me feel very old and irrelevant.

But also, okay, you gotta stop acting
like a little petulant brat.

You can't get me f*cking fired because
I was a little mean to you, okay?

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

- Watch me. Oh, yeah.
- No, Quinn. Quinn. Quinn.

Quinn, don't do this.

Quinn. Quinn, please do not...

Please, do not. [sobbing]

W-What are you doing?

[sobs] I don't know. I'm crying,
'cause you're gonna destroy my life.

[sobbing]

Oh, my God.

- [Quinn sobs]
- Now what are you doing?

This was supposed to be fun for me, okay?
And you're ruining it.

Quinn. Quinn. Oh, my God.

Quinn, Quinn, Quinn. Quinn,
does this mean what I think it means?

Quinn. Quinn.

Oh, my God. I love you so much.

No, no. Don't touch me.

[groans] Fine. Fine. Fine.
Okay, we will do what you said.

We will get our stories straight.
We'll make it seem like a whole accident

- if you agree to the following.
- Anything you want.

You have to actually help me
get my own movies made, okay?

I know we don't have the same taste.

I know the movies I want to make
aren't the most commercial,

but that's why I actually need
all the help I can get.

And you've done this a million times
before and I want my shot.

You got it, okay?

[Quinn sighs]

But you gotta be
a little more respectful to me. [chuckles]

Okay, just because I hate movies
with subtitles

doesn't mean I have nothing to teach you.

I've been doing this sh*t
a very long time, Quinn. Deal.

Uh, I would like one more thing.
Your parking spot.

- [chuckles]
- Mm-hmm.

- Where the f*ck am I supposed to park?
- I don't give a sh*t. Do we have a deal?

- Great. [chuckles] Great.
- [sighs] Yeah. Great.

Whoo!

[sighs] f*ck, she's good.

Mmm.

- Good morning, Sal.
- Morning, Quinn.

- Hey, Daniel.
- [Daniel] f*ck you, Quinn.

- Mm-hmm.
- I need some help on, uh, director ideas

for WINK. Matt's up my a*s about it.

- [Quinn] Oh, yeah, I got a big list.
- Good.

[Quinn] Mmm. Is that a new
cologne I smell? Pinto, is it?

[chuckles] That's so good.
You owe me $3,000 for the suit.

- [Quinn] What? No, I don't.
- [Sal] "No, I don't!"