01x03 - This Too Shall Pass

[bunniefuu]

What the f*ck?!

Holy bleedin' cunting sh*t!

What the f*ck?
You're haemorrhaging?

Yeah. No. Oh, I'm so sorry
about the seat.

Oh, God! Yeah. Wow!

No, that really
is a lot of blood.

Ugh, it's sort of gloopy.

Ugh. That really
is a lot of blood.

What the f*ck is going on?

Um, well, I kinda, sorta,

maybe had a mini-ab*rtion.

- Just the pill kind.
- What?

You know, if you catch it
early, they can just

give you a couple of pills
and you're supposed to start

bleeding within a few days,
but I took them over a week ago

and nothing, so I-I-I thought
it didn't work.

Well, I think it's working.

We need to get you
to a hospital.

No! I don't do hospitals.

Anyway, this is a good thing.

This is exactly
what's supposed to happen.

Well, obviously
it's not exactly

what's supposed to happen.

Okay, well, not exactly!

But I'm fine!

What are you doing?

We have to get off
this motorway right--

No! Keep driving to Galway!

It's at least another hour.

You need a doctor now!

I don't need a doctor.

I need an industrial
strength pad and--

Ah... Ooh. Maybe some ibuprofen.

I'm Googling this sh*t.

Don't text and drive!

I'm not texting!

I-I'm checking to see
if you're dying.

Seriously, stop typing.
It's dangerous!

Well, seriously,
don't abort mid-road trip!

I am not going to a hospital!

Stop smoking! Stop Googling!

Stop shouting!

Ow!

Ah!

'Kay, seriously, though,
I think I might be about

to pass out.

You need sugar.

Eyes on the road!

Eat!

Ah, f*ck.

f*ck.

- f*ck.

I think I've just been sick.

You're nothing
if not reliable, Deryl.

Oh my God.

f*ck.

Oh, my God. Is he dead?

Shut up.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. No, don't
get up so quickly!

No, oh!

Oh, God. Okay.

Getting light-headed. Okay.

: Don't worry! I'm grand.

: Oh, thank f*ck.

Come on! Come on!

I think it's broken.

You. Piece. Of. sh*t!

You need a mechanic.

Sure, I was just at his house.

He lives across the road there,
Padraig Delaney.

He lives just there.

What if he's a r*pist?

I don't think he's gonna
wanna r*pe you mid-ab*rtion.

Well, I hope we get there soon

'cause I'm really burning
through these napkins.

Ugh...

God, you really don't
do well with blood, do you?

Is it the smell of iron?

'Cause I knew a girl
who had that.

Maybe don't mention
the ab*rtion.

Wha--?

Jesus, Seamus. You've only
been gone ten minutes.

What did he do now?

Actually, he didn't
do anything. We hit him.

We didn't hit him. He fell.

Look, she needs help.

Right. I can see that.
Come on.

- Come in.
- Jesus!

Did I tell ya
you look powerful in black?

Yeah. You told me.

Oh, we're so sorry
for intruding.

No. What happened?

Uh... I'm having a...

: A... mini miscarriage.

- Right. Diarmaid?
- Well, not mini.

- Just normal.
- Well, it's not normal.

- It's slightly above average--
- Large. Heavy miscarriage.

I really need the toilet.

Yeah. Yes, you do.
Come with me.

You, make yourself at home.

- Hey, uh...

do you know where
the mechanic is?

A f*ck' party. Well...

Holy sh*t!

Oh, holy...

M-Mary, Mother of God.

Pray for us sinners...

: Now and at the hour
of our death. Amen.

And I'm sorry to bother you.

I-I'm looking for the mechanic.

Aren't we all?

Aren't we all?

It hasn't sunk in
for me, either.

f*ck!

It's just so painful.

Taken too soon.

He was 89.

Sure, I can't wait to die.

People say the nicest things
about you,

even if you were a tight arse
like dead Delaney there.

Sure, he could peel
an orange in his pocket.

- Yeah.
- Jesus!

Just lookin' at you now.

You coulda been...

you coulda been an air hostess,
do you know that?

- Right.

- I need a smoke.
- Aye. Do you have you a spare?

Last one.

Do you know what, Seamus?

I think you could be
in with a shot.

Yeah?

So, you're in luck.

Great.

Now, do we need
to get you a doctor?

No, no, no. No.
I-I don't do doctors.

No, honestly, I'm fine.

The bleeding seems to have
slowed down, so... I'm okay.

Right, well, that's good.

- But you do need to rest.
- Mm-hmm. Yeah. Thank you.

Oh, my God.

- Mam?
- Ah, Suzi!

We were just talking about you!

- How's your sister?
- She's not my...

Yeah, fine.

Look, I just wanted
to see if Deryl came back.

Deryl's great!
Thanks for asking.

- I wasn't asking.

Hi, Suzi!

: We're playing
gin rummy.

- Mam...
- Oh, he's-he's winning,

as always!
Anyway, I've gotta go.

It's my turn.

- Jesus! f*ck.

Sorry, didn't mean
to scare you.

- Listen, your sister is not--
- She's not my sister.

She's my half-sister.

Right. Well...

your half-sister
isn't fit to travel.

You can stay here.

And, don't worry about it.
I know my way around an engine.

I should be able to get
you moving in the morning.

- Ah, sh*t!
- You're welcome.

Sorry.

For your... dad?

Oh, God. No. My uncle.

Well, I'm sorry.

Oh!

Are you the American?

Yeah.

God bless your unborn child.

- Oh, you're not young.
- Oh, sorry.

Oh, I-I'll-I'll pray it
wasn't your last chance.

Will you pray with me?

Uh, yeah.

Eternal rest grant unto thee
unborn child

and bless the future fruit
of this womb.

Amen.

Oh. Amen.

In the name of the Father
and the Son

- and of the Holy Spirit.
- Hmm. Cool.

- Amen.
- Thank you so much.

I know. You'll be grand now,
you know. Yeah.

And you can start trying
again straight away.

Oh! I didn't know.

Do you know when
you're next ovulating?

Oh.

Lord rest his soul.

I'm so sorry.
I-I've recently lost my mother

and I know what you're going--

Well, thank the Lord Jesus
for that.

Give us a whiskey!

Ahh...

You are a disgrace!

I've looked at that ugly mug
for 59 years.

Can't stand another
minute of it.

- Sláinte.
- Sláinte.

May you burn in hell.

: May you burn in hell.

Ahh...

Why would I want another
dead thing in my house?

Is that my dress?

Oh! Yeah. Sorry.

Looked better on me.

Absolutely.

If only I'd k*lled him.

Sure, I'd've been out
of prison 30 years ago.

Come here.

Earth.

But you must have loved him.

I mean, at some point.

Love? Would you cop
onto yourself, girl.

I made a silk purse

out of a sow's ear.

Well...

Suze is in love!

- I'm not.
- Yep. Her mom told me!

The love of her life,
he lives in Gal-Galway.

And guess where we're going?

Galway!

Oh, Suze, you have
to go see him.

You have to go.
You have to see him.

You're so closed!

Why don't you talk? Go on!

'Cause she doesn't have
to tell us anything.

Well, I'll tell you
he's very handsome.

I saw him on a mug.

Actually, Canada here
has some news. Don't you?

- I do?
- Yeah!

She had an ab*rtion today.

Woo-hoo!

Well...

I'll drink to that.

- Well! Sláinte!
- Sláinte!

- Sláinte.
- Sláinte!

Sláinte! L'chaim!

My fiance F-ed me once
in three years

and all I got was
this lousy ab*rtion.

I just can't be
anybody's mother right now.

You know?

Shh, shh, shh.

No, you can't have
any whiskey, Padraig!

'Cause it's all for me.

Cathy, put on a record.

I want to dance!

Go, baby!

There's no baby!

: I don't have to be
anything for anybody.

What the hell are you doing?

Oh, it's Irish ritual.

- Is it?
- Mm-hmm.

Right. Lunatic.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Okay.
- Okay.

M'kay.

Hmm?

- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm. Hmm.

I don't have to be
anything for anybody.

Suze! Suze!

Yay!

- The f*ck are you doing?
- Yay!

That thing must be
worth ten grand!

Twenty.

I wanna dance! I'm free!

- Okay, okay. Okay.
- I'm free!

Yep. Va-va-va.
Let's get you into bed

before you do any more damage.

- Okay. I mean--
- Okay.

F Steve, you know?

He promised he'd pull out.

He promised. He promised me.

- I know.
- I mean, what a piece

of S-H-I-T.

You know?
Like, my Mom just died.

Of a cancer!

- I know.
- I mean, like I want

an F-ing baby!

- Come on.
- Have you, um,

have you had any ab*rtion?

One. When I was 19.

Had to go to London, though.

This f*cking country.

I'm so happy there's no baby.

- Okay.
- There's no wedding. No.

- No.
- That's too bad about

the seat, though.
I'm really sorry.

- All right.
- The smell of puke never lifts.

- Good night.
- 'Night.

It's so nice
to have a big sister.

Oh, you're so wise.

And you're so much
older than me.

So old.

Right. Good night.

No! Tell me something
about our dad.

No!

- Please!
- Don't know what to tell ya.

I can't remember anything.

Well...

he used to take me out
on Saturday mornings.

And I'd get these...

little pencils.

Then he'd put me up
on the counter

and I'd watch the big telly;

the horses getting ready
for their race.

And there'd be smelly men
and newspapers

and I didn't care...

'cause I had all
my little pencils.

No other kid
at school ever had them.

I thought I was so special.

Right. My only memory:

getting some shitty free pencils
from the bookies.

Well, thanks.

Now...

Okay, come on,
don't puke. Oh. Ai.

So, go on.

Who's the handsome man
in Galway?

Oh, Jesus. Don't you start.

We just...

We just wanted
different things.

You mean,
he wanted things his way

and was waiting for you
to want them his way, too?

Something like that.

The lesson that took me
the longest to learn.

Well, you can't keep going
to the hardware store...

if it's oranges you're after.

Trouble with young people
is you...

when you don't understand,
everything passes.

- I'm not that young.

Oh, you are.

You are.

All right. That should
get you to Galway.

But she'll need a service.

Whoa!

Sorry about that.

The smell of puke never lifts.

Ah-ha, vinegar, salt
and sparkling water.

All right. Come on.

- Haha! Woo!
- You f*cking legend!

Yep.

Dymphna?

Dymphna?

Sorry.

These nice men are here
to take Padraig away.

No!

No!

No!

It's time.

Look at me. You can do this.

It's just one foot
in front of the other.

Ugh.

Oh, for F's sake.
Watch where you're going!

Well...

Thank you. For last night.

Did you hang my dress
back in the wardrobe?

Yes, I did, and I'll
send you a little something

- for the dry-cleaning.
- Mm-hmm.

So... Look what I found.

- Oh, my God!

Thank you so much.

Bye!

Thank you!

Bye!

Oh, F! I forgot
the f-ing diapers.

Just say f*ck,
or say nothing at all.

Well...

my mom always said
swearing was unladylike.

Yeah?

Your mum's dead.

I don't... I...

I don't know why I'm laughing!

It's really not funny.

She is dead.

Here. I'll get you
some more nappies.

- Oh.
- Uh...

expenses are on you.

Oh, yeah. Sorry.

Duh.

Here you go.

- We can hold hands later.
- Oh, F off.

Here, make yourself useful,
check the maps.

Just... just make sure
we're on the right road.

Okay.

Ah, Susan, happy birthday,
me baby girl.

I bet you're still beautiful.

Listen, I need... I need
to-to speak with you, right?

I have to--
I want to make amends.

And so I'd love to talk to you.
Would... Please, would you mind

calling me back? It's--

: Ice cream!
Ice cream!

Please, can we have ice cream?!

Ice cream. Please! Ice cream!

There's no f*cking ice cream,

you f*cking stupid,
little shits!