01x06 - ISO

[bunniefuu]

Reason for visiting?

Work.

Can you please take off
your sunglasses?

Oh, yeah. Sorry.

How long will you be staying?

I don't know.

Where are you staying?

No idea.

Any drugs, alcohol,
or merchandise

of $10,000 in value?

No.

Hey,
how's the air-conditioning?

It's great, thank you.

Would you like any music?

Oh, no. I'm cool.
I'm going to use my headphones.

You can hook up your, uh,
Bluetooth to my speaker.

Uh, it's all good, thanks.

I gotta tell you,
we have never had a celebrity

this big in the car before.

I can't believe we have
to do this during Christmas.

This is so f*cked up.

I mean, the whole thing,
but this too.

Yeah.

My family's celebrating without
me, but that's every year.

Yeah.

To think what he was doing
in that trailer under all

our noses, just lying--

Pete?

Oh, f*ck.

f*ck!

Don't do that sh...

- Sorry.
- That's OK.

- Sorry.
- Hi.

- Pete.
- Oh, yeah.

Hi, I'm Monica.

I'm the second AD.

I'll be your liaison
for the rest of the sh**t.

"I'm sorry in advance."

That's Rodney Dangerfield.

Do it all the time.
Nice to meet you.

Uh--

Hey, all done?

Yeah.

So everything's closed
for the holidays right now,

and crafty's pretty much
all frozen pizza and gum.

But if you want
slightly better pizza,

there's a bowling alley nearby,
so I could--

Cool.

I just--I can't wait to
do a scene with Brad Pitt.

- Oh, totally.
- Yeah.

We got you
a whole new trailer.

It's from
a different production.

I'll grab you when there's,
um--so--soon.

- OK. All right.
- Yeah. A little bit.

Yeah. Relax.

Ok.

I got to see--

- Hello?
- Hey, Poppy.

How you doing?

Sorry if I'm calling
early or late.

I don't know
what time zone I'm on.

Hey, there's my grandson.

What's going on?

You caught me in the middle
of a card game with the guys.

Say hi to everybody. Here.

Hello, Peter.

Thank God you're calling.

I think your Poppy
needs a loan.

- Where are you?
- I'm in the hospital.

f*cking chemo takes forever,

so I thought I'd make
a few dollars while I'm here.

So I'm playing cards.

That's--that's good.

It's good
you're doing the chemo.

Yeah, well,
I'm glad you think so.

According to the Internet,
I'm f*cked.

And, uh, nobody here
is letting me win anything.

I respect you
too much for that.

Yeah, sure.

Well, I'm sh**ting
this Vietnam movie.

It's pretty cool.

I'm replacing this actor,
because he, like,

f*cked up or something,
so they're going to CGI

my face onto, like, his body
or some sh*t, I don't know.

But I'm doing a scene
with Brad Pitt.

Isn't that cool?

Ooh,
he's working with "Moneyball."

Yeah, yeah.

I'm, uh, I'm really
stoked about it.

I mean, this is like, the first
time I get to do real drama.

Hello, hello.

Hi.

Oh, my God, an angel
just walked in here.

Your beautiful sister
just walked in here.

Uh-oh, she's checking
all my stuff, the nurse.

How you feeling, Poppy?

I'm feeling OK.

How many patients thought
they died when they opened

their eyes and saw this one?

- Most of them, yeah.
- Peter, I better go.

Have fun in Vietnam.

All right, bye.

Bye.

He's dead.

Hi, Brad. I'm Pete.

Somebody's gonna have to tell
that kid--

Brad, hey.
Hey, Brad. I'm Pete.

Hey, Brad.

I don't have a home.

Somebody forgot to log out.

Hope you like
"Brokeback Mountain."

There's
a "Look Who's Talking 4?"

Whole cast is back.
Holy sh*t.

Mm. "Everybody Loves Raymond."

And another purchase
for Sebastian Stan.

Oh, hey.

You got any big plans
for winter break?

No, not really.
How about you?

Jeff's family's
coming to stay with us,

so I'm inventing
different illnesses

to get out of game night.

I'm thinking Lyme's disease.

I don't know.
It'd be nice to have company.

Pete's in Canada
sh**ting a movie.

I have not heard from him once
since he left.

I'm sure he's just busy.

Hey, how's your dad?

You know, he's doing
really well with the chemo,

thank God.

His appetite's a little weird.

I'm hoping he's going to
make it to Christmas dinner.

I'm making all this food.

It's going to end up being
just me and Casey, you know,

which is fine.

It's not really the Christmas
I am used to, but--

You need to get
out of the house.

Why don't you come play
basketball with us?

What?

Just jump onto a team?

What--I can't do that.
It's been years.

It's 40 and up
basketball for women

who have nothing else to do.

Half of them throw
foul shots underhand.

You'd be LeBron out there.

I don't know.

I mean, I hung up my sneaks
a long time ago.

Come on.

You can bring the snacks.

- Let me check my schedule.

All right, yes.

This is where
the magic happens.

Come on in.

Big butt, wow.

Hot set, so just be careful.
Don't touch that.

Holy sh*t.

Can I get you anything, or--

No, I'm in heaven.

This is f*cking sick.

All right.
And Pete has landed.

Oh, my goodness.

Cool. So where's JJ?

Oh!
He's, uh, right here for you.

Oh, hi.

- You're on an iPad.
- Pete, hey.

Thanks so much for filling in,
especially this time of year.

I cannot thank you enough.

You're not just a hero in the
movie; you're a hero to me.

Yeah, we couldn't
get anyone else.

Uh-huh.
Yeah, well, thanks, man.

I'm--I'm just happy
to be here, so--

Uh--
you haven't, uh,

read the new pages, have you?

No, I didn't--he didn't--

It's OK, it's all--
we've cleaned it up.

We've pared it down
really well.

It's really--it's great.

It's--it's much better now,
I think.

You'll see.

Uh, you--you die
in the first 10 minutes.

Really?
I die?

Because I thought the story
was about a platoon,

and it was true,
and it was about how

they survived all these,
like, miraculous situations--

Chinese chicken salad,
thank you.

Uh, that's true.

But I think the
other thing, though,

is that it's really
important for the movie,

like, for the integrity of the
film, uh, the surprise factor.

It's like,
audience is sitting down.

The first 10 minutes,
they're not expecting a thing.

Then, boom!

Pete Davidson's head just
pops off like a Roman candle.

It's going to blow
people's minds.

We have good effects
for that, really good VFX.

Cool, but like, what--
what about my arc?

Listen, I--I hear you.
Everyone wants an arc.

Uh, the truth is
I asked my kids,

you know, who do they want
to see die in the movie?

They said you.

I think it's going to work
great, I'm telling you.

I guess. Yeah.

Um, cool.
Well, yeah.

Uh--you know,
again, I'm just--

I'm just really
happy to be here.

I mean, I can't believe I'm
doing a scene with Brad Pitt.

Yeah.
I got to go, I got to go.

It's going to be great, buddy.

Thank you so much.

- Uh, bye.

Um, I was just--

OK, I'll get him--
I'll get him later.

Cool.
Is he here?

I--we're doing the
Brad scene now, right?

Uh, yes.

We are sh**ting
that scene now, exactly.

Yeah.

- That's cool.

Brad.

Nice to meet you.

- You're not Brad.
- Devon Leech, Brad's guy.

Nice to meet you too, man.

Where's Brad?

Brad isn't coming, actually.

It's OK,
you're in good hands.

I've been working
with him since "World w*r Z."

Every time
you only see the back

of his head,
that's all Leech.

Check this out.

Devon, "Moneyball."

Devon Leech,
Cliff Booth,

"Once Upon a Time
in Hollywood."

Wow.

Yeah, actually,
I totally see it.

It confuses me, man.

I'm in therapy about it.

So is he, um--
is he not coming?

There was a schedule change.
Sorry, yeah.

So you're going to be
working with Devon instead.

The producers let Brad spend
Christmas with his family.

And you'll still be on the
screen with him, of course.

And see him at
the premiere, maybe.

Maybe?

I'll be there.
I got you, bro.

Yeah, that's great.
That's great.

It's going to be fun.

We'll just--
we'll get this started,

and we'll just--yeah,
we'll--let's get--

let's get you on your marks.

Whoo!

Let's do this!

Last looks on Leech.

And action!

Sorry, grunt.

My job is to get you home.

Home?

I stopped having a home
the day I watched Roberts

get gutted like a fish.

God damn it, Finnerty!

Don't you dare tell me
what home is!

This is our home now!

Is he doing Downey?

Roberts had a kid!

Somebody's going to
have to tell that kid

that his daddy is dead.

Someone's going to have to say,
your dad, he's dead!

Hi, Pete!

How are you?

It's so nice
to hear your voice.

How is Brad?

- Is he dreamy?
- Hey, Ma.

How's Poppy doing?

You know, he's--
he's all right.

He's cranky.

He just, uh, called the TV
a word that we're not

supposed to say anymore,
because he couldn't find, um,

"It's a Wonderful Life."

And I told you
that Borgnine ate

all the Christmas decorations.

I was able to replace them
on Amazon Prime overnight.

Casey!

Come put this
on the front door.

Oh, honey.
I wish you were here.

Yeah.
Well, you know, it's reshoots.

So it's not like I have
a f*cking choice, you know.

Oh, I know.

Just, uh--
I don't know how many more,

uh, Christmases we're going
to get with Poppy,

- you know?
- Yeah, I know, all right?

You don't gotta guilt trip me,
you know?

There's nothing
I can do about it.

I'm f*cking stuck in Canada
with nobody I even like.

No offense.

No, I'm--I'm not trying
to make you feel bad.

I'm just saying that,
you know, we miss you.

We wish you were here.
That's all.

I got to go. I got to go.
I'm at work.

I'll call you later.

OK.
I love you, honey. Bye.

Hey, how much longer
for the neck p*ssy, huh?

- 10 minutes, ish.
- All right, cool.

I'm going to go smoke
a cigarette, all right?

Oh, really?

Um--well,
as soon as he's done,

we're going to need you on set.

We're moving.

Cool.

I'll just--I'll just
take a break, then.

All right, cool.
I'll be back.

Yo.

Whoa.

You're--you're Pete Davidson.

What are you doing here?

Are you on vacation?

Sure.

Do you want to bowl?

No.

Are you here for the arcade?

Uh, do you want some pizza?

Listen, you guys.
I need some drugs.

Like now, OK?

I'm really f*cked up,
all right?

I'm out here doing a w*r movie.
The director's on the iPad.

They tell me Brad Pitt's going
to be in it, and he's not.

It's Devon Leech!

- Who's Devon Leech?
- Exactly!

It looks exactly like
Brad Pitt, but it's not!

And I'm all f*cked up and
alone, and my grandpa's dying,

and all my friends won't answer
my f*cking phone calls,

and I would just
really appreciate it

if either one of you
had anything.

Bro, we got you.

All right.

The f*ck is this, Nesquik?

- Just smoke it like weed.
- You sure?

We're working at a
bowling alley on Christmas.

We take getting high
very seriously.

- Good answer.

Hold on a second.

What's up, d*ck?

Hey, where are you, man?

They're, like, freaking out
that you're not on set.

I'm fine, man.

I'm at a bowling alley
with my friends.

Wait,
are you there to buy drugs?

Yeah.

I wouldn't have to do this
sh*t if you were here.

I--I know.

I'm just, like, in the
middle of, like, Christmas

with Lizzie's family
right now, you know?

Dude, break out.
f*ck that sh*t.

Just--just leave.

Just come hang out
with me in Canada, man.

Come on.
It'll be fun.

I really can't.

I'm--I'm in a, like,
very Hallmark situation.

Dude.
Just come, man.

Just hop on a flight.
We'll have fun.

We could bowl
and have pizza, I guess.

Man, it is like
so Christmas over here,

and her dad keeps
calling me son.

I'm in deep, man.

- I'm in really deep.
- Whatever, man.

Merry Christmas. f*cking...

Pete?

sh*t.

So what happened
to your neck?

I got shot.

- Oh.
- Damn.

Hey, thanks, guys.
Merry Christmas.

Pete Davidson's
on the brown stuff.

f*ck.

How you doing, Dad?
You need anything?

No, I got everything I need.

- Feel great, thanks.
- Good, good.

It's a lot of food
for three people.

I know.
It's a very special Christmas.

If there's leftovers,
maybe we should

take it to a food bank tomorrow.

- Oh--
- Well, that's a nice idea.

You reminded me, I gotta--
gotta take a plate downstairs.

Mom, Pete's not here.

Oh, I know.

But, uh, the boys are
downstairs watching a movie.

- Probably starving to death.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You mean these guys still
come and hang out downstairs,

- even when he's not here?
- Yeah.

I'm just going to
bring them a plate,

might give them a little
something to nibble on.

No, you're not.
Come and sit down.

You know, boys got to eat.
It's Christmas.

- You got to eat.
- I am. I'm eating.

You already gave them shelter.

What, do you want
to feed them, too?

Give me your hands.

We'll think about Peter,
hope he's OK.

And everything's good?

- Yeah. OK.
- OK. Let's eat.

To my big brother George,
the richest man in town.

f*ck yeah, Clarence.
Get those wings, baby.

What's that?

This is Nikki.
Leave a message.

Look, Daddy!
Teacher says...

Yo, shut up, bro.
Pete's calling.

Hey, Pete!

What's up there,
movie star man?

Hey.

Are--are you guys
all in the basement?

Oh, we're just having
a little holiday shindig.

Cannabis-mas,
you know how it is.

- You know the drill.
- Cannabis-mas?

You're doing
Cannabis-mas without me?

But I, like, invented it.

So you invented smoking
weed on Christmas?

Is that Peter?

Hey.
Hi, Mom.

- Mama D here--
- Oh.

- Merry Christmas, sweet pea.
- With--with the good food.

I wish you were here, honey.
I got all your favorite things.

I made the little
turkey sandwiches

- with the honey mustard.
- Mmm.

I got your rainbow cookies.

Mmm.

Oh, yeah.
Those are my favorite.

I wish I was there,
but I'm not. Heh.

Ma, you know, if you feed
these guys, they won't leave.

Celebrating baby Jesus,

having cannolis
with the Davidsons.

- Don't get no better than this.
- All right, guys, enjoy.

There's a lot more upstairs
if you want it.

Goodbye, honey.
I love you.

- Thank you, Mama D.
- Thank you, Mama.

- You're welcome.
- Bye, Ma.

Well, uh--why don't
you guys just come here?

I'll fly you guys all out.

Nah, I'm stuck
in the city till New Year's.

You know my mama don't f*ck
around with Christmas season.

I would love
to be there for you,

but I don't want to.

I don't f*ck with Canada,
and Canada don't f*ck with me.

It's actually
pretty cool here.

They have their own theme song.

Mm-hmm.
Stay strong there, bruh.

Work smarter, not harder,
so we don't have to.

Long live Pete Davidson.

I see you chose
to enter the saloon,

instead of not
entering the saloon.

That's right.

And I have a card in my hand--

the ace of spades.

He made it?

He actually did it.
Holy sh*t.

What a coincidence.

Ace, Spade.

Where did you find it,
that card that's your name?

Maybe I should go home
to my wife.

Do I even have a wife?

Maybe I should stay,
because I play cards good.

Superman plays cards good.

You play cards well.

Well.

both: Well, well, well.

- How you feeling?
- I'm kind of nervous.

I haven't done this
in a long time.

Oh, it'll be good for you.

This is a great place
to put all your energy.

We leave it all on the floor.

What does that mean?

I mean, just look at Lisa.

Yeah, I heard her husband
cheated on her with the doula.

I know.
Look at her now.

- All right, ladies.

Let's get this going.

Lisa, we're starting.

Did she just crack her p*ssy?

What?

Housekeeping.

f*ck.

So sorry about that.

- Ready, go!
- Over here!

Here, here!
Over here!

Get off me!

Yeah!
Yeah!

Take that!
Take that!

Yes, let's go!
Let's go!

Are you OK?
You're bleeding.

- Do you need a minute?
- No.

I'm going to
destroy that b*tch.

Let's go!

Everybody clear out.

Iso!
Iso!

Come on.

Ahh!

Boom!

This is why I do this.
This is why I do this.

Good job, ladies.
Let's go!

Oh, hello.

- Hey.
- Hey.

You made it.

Did you get some sleep?

I was thinking
about sleeping.

But I did so many drugs,
I thought maybe I shouldn't,

because I would probably die.

Yeah.

Ok.

Let's just get you cleaned up.

You know, they say
you, uh, never, uh,

work a day in your life
if you love what you do.

So--so I love you.

I'll get you some coffee.

- Thanks.
- Yeah.

That was fun today.

Yeah.
Yeah, it was.

Did you see my dunk?

Yeah, man.

You really took it to the hole.

Yeah.

Yeah,
I had to call for the iso.

Good one.

Welcome to
the South Island Handmaids.

I couldn't get
the tape back,

which I know sounds
like bad news

but actually is good news.

Because if that tape existed,

we wouldn't be able
to get married again.

Dad?

No, it's Ray.

How you doing, buddy?

- What are you doing here?
- Talk to me, man.

What's going on?

OK, Ray Romano.

Well, um, I'm all alone here
during Christmas,

and nobody seems to care.

And my Poppy is dying, and
he's pretending like he's OK.

But we all know he isn't.

That's a shame. Yeah.

Hey, you mind if I, uh,

pick through this
Joan's on Third basket?

Yeah, help yourself.

Yeah, I mean, uh, grandpas...

they give you
a little bit of wisdom,

and then they die, all right?

That's what they do.

But you still got
your mother, right?

You got your sister--

to a lesser extent,
your friends.

Yeah.
I don't know, man.

I just--I feel
really pathetic

and, like, a loser, and maybe--

maybe everyone's just
better off without me.

Maybe they are, but you
shouldn't focus on that.

You're doing great.

You're taking drugs to make
yourself feel better, right?

Here's what you need to do.

f*ck your way out of it.

If you take anything
from this conversation,

it's that you should
get yourself sucked.

- Yeah, sure.
- You got the drugs, right?

You got the bowling
alley drugs?

You got the ketamine?
What's it called, ketamine?

Yeah, but I don't want
to end up in a K hole.

I don't know what that is.

But you got to fall
into a butthole,

is what you got to do.

Come on, man.

Kills me to see you
f*cking like this.

You know what your problem is?
You don't got any problems.

You're too smart.
You're too funny.

You're f*cking--
you're too good at everything.

You should write a book.
I'd read that book.

Just f*ck everything.

You ain't getting
any younger, man.

Come on.
You got that big d*ck, right?

You're like p*ssy Thanos.

Just get out there
and f*ck, man.

The luckiest man...

On the face of the Earth.

- What the f*ck?
- 3, 2, 1.

- Wait a sec.
- 2--

- Hang on.
- 1.

- 1.
- f*ck!

Cut!

f*ck!
Thanks, boys.

And that's a wrap
on Pete Davidson.

- Whoa. Wrap?
- Yeah.

I thought it was,
like, six days.

Great job.
No, it's been two weeks.

Oh.

It was great
working with you.

- You, too.
- Yeah.

Uh, what's your name?

Uh, Monica.

Monica.

Monica, yeah.

So, uh,
on the next one, right?

I love you.

All of you, I love--
I love all of you.

- Good luck.
- All right.

Thank--OK.

Merry Christmas,
Pete Davidson.

I give him six months.

Thanks, man.

I don't know what
I'd do without you.

Thanks for bringing
my credit card.

Yeah, yeah.

Um, I've been here
for, like, three hours.

How's, uh--uh...

what's--what's her face?

- Oh, Lizzie.
- Yeah.

Yeah, it's great.
It's been, like, five years.

I can't, uh,
wait for you to meet her.

Pete!

Oh, no.

Hi.

It stops now.

What?

I know what's going on.

What are you talking about,
Sebastian Stan?

Shh!
No more talking.

Only listening, OK?

Because I'm only going
to say this once.

It stops now.

Dude, you left your account
logged in the trailer.

I'm a fan.

It's just--
this is what happens.

Of course I'm going to use it.

You bought
112 individual episodes

of "Everybody Loves Raymond."
That's stupid!

Why don't you just bundle it?

Why don't you f*cking
stream it, for f*ck's sake?

It's streaming on Peacock.
It's streaming on the c*ck!

You are what we call a daddy.

Such a daddy.

You're crazy.

I never do this,

but do you think
I'd be able to get a selfie?

- Hey!

That's my best friend!

Oh, sh*t.

- Oh, come on.

Oh, snap!

That's m*therf*cking
Bucky Barnes!

Winter Soldier.