01x10 - What Could Be Better?

[bunniefuu]

This is Agent Costopoulos
again, Mr. Shorter.

As mentioned in my
previous message,

we would need to take possession of
any "pernitent edivence" quite soon.

Also, it is my
duty to remind you,

you have a legal "oglibation" to
return all bureau recording equipment

at your first earliest
"opponturnity."

Your county thanks you.
Have a pleasant evening.

Till tomorrow.

Just a bunch of fire
and smoke, right?

Poof.

Bit more to it than
that, you know?

Reaching for the
heavens and all.

Show those investors and whiny
customers that we mean business.

Problems out.
Prices up. Money in.

Right. Got it.

Aw, Jack.

These folks will never
not be miserable.

Only question in their life
is, "Who robs them first?"

Numbers on a board.

Good evening, guest. Would you like
me to assist you with transportation?

Happy holidays. How about
another tasty beverage?

It's not too bad.

Yeah, except I was
trying to flip you off.

But please don't think I'm not grateful
you paying for this thing, though.

Well, listen, whatever
you two need, okay?

- Look.
- Hot chocolate?

And I got a lot more
coming in tomorrow.

Perfect weather for the launch.

Hey, nothing like clear skies
for a flight to nowhere, huh?

Frankly, all I want to know is when can
we grab our next stack of hush money?

Hey, maybe...

let Shirl know I still
consider you guys partners,

- in terms of profits and...
- Give it a rest, please.

God! I'm on f*cking tilt from
all the schoolboy dreaming.

Happy holidays.

You should probably go.

Imagine this is waving bye-bye.

Hey, Shirl.

Hey, glad I could help
out with everything.

And doing all that I can to
patch things up with Joe after...

Well... You know. And...

And don't think that I'm not
looking out for our customers, okay?

For everybody.

What's the f*cking difference what
comes out of your mouth anyway?

How about a peppermint
schnapps with hot chocolate?

Merry Christmas.

Joe, still haven't heard from you, which
I'm gonna take as a reason to hope.

Tomorrow might be the last day
I get to see you for a while.

Probably you know about
that more than me.

But whatever you decide
and wherever I end up,

you're my son. And
I'm proud of you.

And the time that we
had together was...

that was the best of my life.

It's kind of funny...

how good things can be without
the truth getting in the way.

I'm gonna leave this
right here for you.

Let's hope no one feels
the need to move it.

And let's hope you're almost
ready to get back to us.

I'm not sure how long these men
and their sh*t show can wait.

Well?

Perfect weather for a launch.

Passengers are showing already.

Now, you're landing
there at Imbrium.

Your lunar team will
meet them there.

Absolutely. Not a
thing to worry about.

You know...

I'm gonna need your help.

When the light comes
on, we're good to go.

But you're the one
sending her up.

You sure?

- Call me a coward. Stuck in the past.
- No. Fine.

You know, Jack. They're
gonna love it up there.

Your dad would be proud.

Yeah, maybe.

Good.

- Okay.
- Miracle f*cking technology, huh?

Let's do another one.

What? You're
downgrading me to paper?

There's a shock.
I crushed the cup.

Mr. Eddie Nichols, please.

Mr. Eddie Nichols.

"Joyous tidings."

- What?
- Oh, Jesus.

Absconding in the
night, interest unpaid.

All right. Let's just settle
this sh*t and be done with it.

- Let the f*ck go!
- Hey! Let her go.

Get off of me!

- I said hey! Let her go!
- You better watch yourself.

You wa...

Oh, sh*t. Shirley,
I can't stop it.

Don't f*cking k*ll him!

Say that so the hand understands.
Try f*cking sign language.

Oh, God.

Hey!

You came.

My God, Joe. Look at you.

- I can't tell you how...
- Jack, don't.

Here. You see this?

Now, what I do with
this is up to you.

Looks more like it's up to you.

I might not want you in prison,

but I cannot let you send
those people up there.

Of course not. That's
what I'm here to fix.

Follow my lead.
It's gonna be easy.

Especially with your help.

Mr. Billings.

You ready to make
some dreams come true?

Well, depends on
whose, doesn't it?

Miss Sellwyn, my top
salesman, Joe Shorter,

came to make sure everything
goes off right today.

Pleased to meet
you, Mr. Shorter.

Hope you got yourself
a unit or two.

I hear prices are heading up.

You know, I remember when
my father built this place.

I was nine or ten and...

I took him for a g*dd*mn
fool, dreaming like he did.

I wasted a lot of life hating
him for being a failure, and...

maybe he was just playing a
longer game than I could see.

And everything I needed was right
there if I just had the good sense

to open my eyes, take a look.

Trying to figure
out the same thing.

- Hopped up like half...
- You're full of sh*t.

Hey, Jack. There you are.

Come in and figure this
mess out, would you?

What's all this, Jack?

Mr. Billings, I placed a
grounding halt on today's flight.

- I'm taking you into custody.
- What?

Arrest prompt F.

In "vidalation" of
rail "detation" 37B4C.

Multiple counts of fraud.

You are under arrest.

- Please comply with the arresting officer.
- Wait.

Whatever nit you're picking at today,
it is not gonna stop these good people

from riding off to fantastic new
lives a quarter million miles up.

And, by the way...

I am going up there personally to
guarantee these folks' happiness.

And I'd invite you too, but
I'm sure you're too busy

dragging honest
businessmen through the mud

- without a shred of g*dd*mn evidence.
- Mr. Shorter...

the "edivence," please.

Hey, what the hell are
you looking at him for?

He wants these people
happy as much as I do.

That's why he's heading
up there with me today.

We will be watching out for our
customers like they were family.

Mr. Shorter...

the "edivence?"

Here.

You've neglected to insert
the "ediventiary" tape.

There isn't one.

You lead me to believe
conviction was "innament."

Well, gosh, sir. I'm sorry,
but you got it wrong.

Well, there you go. I'm
sorry about all this, folks.

But now, Herb, open
up the g*dd*mn Jetway,

and let's get these good folks off
to the smoothest ride in the stars.

Thanks, Jack.

Enjoy the trip, Jack.

I always do.

We are now boarding flight
001 service to the Brightside.

This how you get your fun?

You ruin everything
for everyone?

We could have been
boarded by now, fella.

- Hey, how's everything?
- I'm so excited.

Lester!

I knew you'd come.

Tell me you can't
live without me.

Actually, well, the case still
lacks "incrinimating" facts.

No. Oh, no.

Just go, Lester.

Have a nice life with your
facts and your briefcase and...

f*cking facts.

Follow.

Fifteen minutes until launch.

Welcome aboard.

Joseph.

- Welcome.
- Hey.

- Human service. Very classy.
- Yeah. Very.

- Do you know if the booze is free?
- Hi, Sal.

- It's supposed to be.
- Hey, settle in. Take a seat.

We got three days of comfort and
luxury on your way to brand-new lives.

Joseph, forgive me?

I was wrong about you.

Thank you, Mr. Hartoonian. It's
going to be a terrific trip.

Have a great journey,
Mr. Mason. Mrs. Mason.

Jules. Scooter. Jackson.
Frankie. Baby D.

Thank you.

- All right, let's go.
- Thank you, Mr. Porter.

There they go.

It's so amazing, Herbie. And
to think we made it all happen.

Herbert Gaye Porter.
Almost glad to see ya.

Jack asked us to load
this up. It's important.

That sounds like
something I could handle.

- Wait.
- No.

- What is this?
- Betty's carry-on.

We're setting off on a career-building,
family-focused, interplanetary journey.

I understand it's not
easy from your position,

seeing what all my hard work
and ambition has earned.

No, Herb.

Jack is a crook and the
moon is a crock, okay?

So, give it up before
you get yourself hurt.

They have never been comfortable with
you spreading your wings, Herbie.

It's sad, really.

Jesus, they're both hopeless.

That's one thing
we will never be.

Oh, no, okay. No, you
spread your wings, Herb.

You're gonna wind up squatting
in a lunar mining camp,

hawking your clothes
for powdered potatoes

and begging some one-eyed
rumrunner for a ride back to Earth.

Oh, God.

Welcome to the BrightSider.

Oh, God. Look at this, huh?

I am telling you, it is days like
today that make my whole job worth it.

And I get to share it
with you fine folks.

And we are in the final
stages of our launch sequence,

so if you could
all please locate

your V63 inner-atmospheric
safety vests right now,

I'd appreciate it.

That's the V63.

I don't have a vest.

Nobody said anything
about a vest.

Me too. Do we need a vest?

You were going to send
us up without them?

Oh, no. No, ma'am.

It's all right. It's
just a regulation.

A precautionary thing. It...

Herb, there you are. Just
the person we needed to see.

Of course.

I'm sure you wouldn't have
overlooked this, Herb,

but the folks can't seem
to find their V63 vests.

Well, that sounds
like a problem.

Oh, no. Don't tell
me you forgot, Herb.

I got ya.

Geez. This... It's embarrassing.

But I'm gonna have to get
you all you folks off now.

Down to the equipment room to
get you resized and ready, okay?

- What? We got to get back off?
- Oh, boy.

Can't take off until we
get you all fitted, sir.

We don't make the dumb rules,
but, gosh, we gotta follow them.

Everyone, I am truly sorry.

Herb is awfully sorry
about the inconvenience,

but the buck stops with me.

I'm the boss. I apologize.

It's all right, folks.

Thank you, young man.

- At least someone's looking out for us.
- Go on, get out.

And we'll tell Mission
Control to hold the launch.

- Herb, you're in charge, right?
- Right on. Won't let you down again, Jack.

Okay, where are
they actually going?

Nowhere...

yet.

But once we send that rocket up,
our latest investors will hand us

all the money we need to build gorgeous
g*dd*mn houses for every one of them!

And that's worth spending a couple
minutes in a busted elevator to me!

Hey, come on. This is
exactly what you wanted,

and I never would have had the
sense to try it without you.

Yeah, I mean, I guess we got a lot done
without the truth getting in the way.

Don't you act like you're still scared.
Not after what you just pulled off.

What am I doing here?

Hello?

Jack! Stop!

- Hey. Wow, great to see you guys.
- You can't f*cking do this.

- Herb's on there. And everyone and...
- Wait.

Now, I've had people doubt me,

but I thought you were
sharper than that, Shirl.

Look. Everybody's in there.

And they're blaming the
elevator for missing their trip.

The investors wanted a launch
and they're gonna get one.

But, hey,

if you need to stop that, like
I said, we're all partners here.

They're in there and
they don't know a thing?

We'll tell them we had
mechanical trouble.

Push their launch
a couple months.

My record is pretty spotty, but this
kind of feels like a lock, Shirl.

Go get it done.

Sorry to keep you waiting, miss.

And all of you.

Busy day. Perfect
weather for a launch.

Glad you could make it, Jack.

Lunar's a new space for us, Mr. Billings,
but Miss Sellwyn's never steered us wrong.

We just wanna see your execution
keeping with your vision,

- and staying on schedule.
- God, all you boys

pretend to be so rational,

when we know it's a feeding frenzy
as soon as that rocket goes up.

So, let's see who's man enough
to stomp the rest and buy us out.

They all think they're
f*cking brilliant,

following the herd
off our cliff.

Pay attention, kid. A lot
to learn from this lady.

So, what did you
do up there, Jack?

Just enough to
keep them dreaming.

Dismissed.

Dismissed.

Look...

Dismissed.

Go back.

Dismissed.

Dismissed!

Dismissed!

Do not follow!

Jack did this to us.

We'd be on that rocket
right now if wasn't for him.

I hate him.

No, Bun Bun.

He's my life's
third-greatest mentor.

And I'm sure he's working
very hard to get us out.

You care to do the honors, Joe?

Of course.

Jacky? It's your
Marie. She's awake!

- Get home now. She wants to see you!
- Wait, Ma.

Slow down. What?

Listen, I don't care if you're
about to colonize f*cking Jupiter.

If anything's ever meant anything to you,
you'll get home where you g*dd*mn belong.

We'll be right there, Ma.

Why don't you hand
that to Miss Sellwyn?

She's gonna have to handle
the rest without us.

Who's Marie?

She's my wife.

His mother.

Families, they are
optional, you know?

You're gonna do great
with that button.

Hey, is this okay?

I can always drop you off
and give you some time.

She asked for you, Jack.

Not the first thing in my life
that hasn't been up to me.

Yeah, hey, but this one,
let's figure out together.

- Are you trying to get out of this?
- No!

I've only been thinking
about this the last 20 years.

I believe that.

We are stuck here and Jack's
not coming to save us.

And if you can't admit that...

Say it, Herbie.
He did this to us.

Say it before I scream.

Okay, fine.

He...

did this...

to us.

It won't work if
you don't mean it.

He did this to us!

Jack did this to us.

Jack did this to us!

Now come on, neighbors.

Get us out and on that rocket!

- Get us out and on that rocket. Hello!
- Hello!

We're in the elevator!

- We got children down here!
- Hey! Hello!

Help us!

Anybody?

Hello?

- All right.
- Okay. Come on.

Okay, okay.

Miss...

Myrtle.

Irrespective of destination...

I'd hope to accompany you.

Okay.

Let's go see what all
the fuss is about, right?

Great.

We'll see the fuss together.

And if there are any violations,
you'll be there to report them.

Or, maybe...

they'll remain "unpertorted."

Initiating prelaunch
sequence. All systems are go.

Mom.

- Hey. Hi.
- Hi.

It's Joey.

Joey...

you remember?

Of course. It's Joey.

It's okay if you don't.

- Sorry.
- It's okay. Mom, it's okay.

- I'm really sorry.
- It's okay.

You just need some time, right?
You just need a little time.

It's okay, Marie.

Wow.

I missed you.

It's Jack?

That's right.

I'm happy you're here, Jack.

I gotta take a leak
before liftoff.

Oh, Jesus. f*ck!

Here we go, little buddy.

First run with precious cargo.

You take care of them up there!

Roger, control.

- Stop!
- Hey!

- No! Wait! Come on!
- Everybody's on there!

- They're all on the rocket!
- Hey, where's Jack?

Jack left.

Don't be crazy now.

Of course not. We're
about to be very rich.

- And I'm just pushing a button.
- No...

Engines engaged. Thirty
seconds to liftoff.

Engines engaged. Thirty
seconds to liftoff.

That's homecoming.

We'd been going
steady for a while.

We were...

We were pretty happy.

Oh, yeah, that was
the day Joey was born.

Look at you, kid.

We do. We look so
happy together.

You know, we had a lot of
great years, the three of us...

and we got a lot more coming.

Good. That's good.

You said it, Joe.

We raised an amazing
kid, sweetheart.

Good.

Sixteen, fifteen, fourteen,

thirteen, twelve, eleven,

ten, nine, eight,

seven, six, five

four, three,

two,

one.

Liftoff.

Wow!

That's g*dd*mn beautiful.

We did that, Joe.

Do you see that, Mom?

It's on its way to the moon.

And one day, we'll
go up there together.

Right.

My God, yes.

Watching the Earth rise.

Every care you ever had, a
quarter million miles away.

You out in our lunar garden.

Me and Joe...

tossing the jet ball around.

I mean, what could be
better? Right, sweetheart?

Yeah. What could
be better, right?

Jack?

Yeah?

We weren't really that happy...

were we?

Hi there, I'm out
delivering smiles.