Back the f*ck up,
get out of here.
- Lock the door,
lock the door, lock the door.
What the hell are you
f*ck doing
on private property?
I don't take
kindly to strangers,
especially those who
don't respect a man's law.
He has a g*n.
Thank you for the
identification, Wyatt.
I know what a g*n looks like.
Right over here, this lawn.
That, that one?
Oh my God! Oh my God!
-Get us outta
Go, go, go, go!
-I'm trying, I'm trying!
You're late, Wyatt.
Sorry. Who should I help first?
It's the principal of it.
Did you pay attention
to my business fundamental
seminars?
Not even a little bit.
Well, Cliff Notes,
show up on time
and don't make a mess.
It's kinda hard to get around
ever since I had to
sell my bike, you know?
Maybe if I didn't have to
walk everywhere, I don't know.
Maybe I wouldn't be so late.
Listen, for the last time,
I'm not loaning you
any more money.
Get off the bed, come on.
Things have
just been a little tight.
Ever since my window c*ck
venture went belly up.
Window c*ck?
You really
didn't see that coming?
You gotta take
risks as an entrepreneur,
you know this, Perry.
Get off the new Serapina Pearl.
I'm just looking out for you.
You've got
all that cash saved.
You need a plan in life.
If I keep loaning you the money,
you'll never learn to
be financially responsible.
Yeah, but I'm okay with that.
Hello, Miss Duverday.
How are you?
You're being a
real d*ck, you know?
I mean, your best
friend's in real trouble here.
What? What is that?
Miss Duverday.
No, behind her.
Honestly, this is a vibe.
A vibe?
Yeah, the vibe is
graffiti and vandalism.
It's art, that's what it is.
-Art?
-This is hot stuff, man.
No, it needs to be
gone by the end of the day.
I'll clean it off for
three grand, how about that?
For three grand,
you'll clean it off?
You work here,
clean it off for free.
May 5th, 2022,
third case of destruction
in the last 28 days.
What was that for?
The record.
The record of what?
Just the record.
God, Jesus Christ.
How do you expect
to do any business
with this p*rn*graphy
emblazoned on the store?
I'm deeply offended.
Flip phone.
I need to go down to the station
and give Martin
a piece of my mind.
This is just out of hand.
Going on Yelp.
All right, I'm leaving.
Get out of the street, Perry!
Are you sure?
This is the right place?
Hello?
Hello?
Martin!
Oh, you're not Martin.
Martin.
-Denver.
-sh*t Stain.
Whatever it is, I don't care.
Who are you?
Lieutenant Leila Forbes.
We spoke on the phone, sir.
I'm the lateral
transfer from Columbus.
Right,, new girl.
-Gotta go.
-Drug bust!
You really shouldn't
be waving your g*n
around inside like a fool.
-Okay.
-Denver, let's go.
-Might need a refresher
on g*n safety.
-Maybe.
Martin. Can we talk about
this graffiti situation?
-Denver said he would handle it.
It's not being handled--
-Absolutely.
I guess the drug bust we've
been planning for eight months
is just gonna have to wait.
Am I coming?
Didn't you just hear?
There's a graffiti
artists on the loose.
Welcome to Nice.
I thought it was Nice.
Nope, that's the French one.
Just like the colors
and everything
are just so beautiful.
You guys remember seeing
any suspicious figures
hanging around?
You mean other than this guy?
Ayee.
I'm not--
For f*cking--sh*t bag
c*ck-sucking piece of sh*t!
-Son of a wh*re!
-What's with him?
You ever been
in love, Lieutenant?
f*ck!
Apparently not.
Been going on for years.
-Hey!
-I'm good.
I'm aware, yep
Looks like Lynette
could use some help.
So.
How're uh, things going with-
Denver?
Dumped his a*s. He's a d*ck.
Deputy douchebag.
Gotta shed that
toxic energy, you know?
I know what you mean.
I take a ton of vitamin C.
-How's it going with that tire?
-Almost done.
Just a little more of this.
So if you had to take
three albums, not songs,
albums to a deserted island,
which albums would they be?
How about I call a tow truck?
You know, he's a d*ck,
but Denver's pretty good
with flats. I could--
No, Denver's not good
with flats. I'm great
with flats. Don't worry.
Honestly, between you and me,
I'd probably go with
808s and Heartbreak.
-It's not a big deal.
I could get him here.
-You're panicking.
The new Kanye, it's-
Too many antics.
Look, I really
appreciate this, Perry.
But I look pretty good today,
so I'm just gonna call him.
No, don't call him.
Don't worry, I got it.
Why am I even on a
deserted island, though?
Almost.
It's not like I had
money to travel with.
Oh my f*cking God.
There.
-Nice.
-See?
-Yeah.
-Done.
Uh-oh.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Come on, Perry.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Perry Phillips.
All right.
They should be
coming from the--
From the South?
Oh, now I'm in Arizona.
Did you say Arizona?
No, I didn't say Arizona.
Routing to Arizona.
Oh, no, don't route me
anywhere, you piece of sh*t.
Why is it doing this?
You've got it hooked
up to Bluetooth, sir.
f*ck Bluetooth.
Default setting.
Ooh, ooh, there, there.
Banking west. Nose down.
Drive, drive.
Woo!
Sheriff Martin Mills,
all precincts,
be advised that
the drop is happening
in the open
lot near Harbor Lane.
Yeah, this is Cal
from Lakeport.
This another Zane roll out?
10-4, we got a good tip.
Yeah, this is Tylers,
over at Harbin Springs.
Johnson over here is known to
have a good tip too.
All right, well, f*ck you guys.
-Sheriff.
-It's all right, just drive.
No, no, no, Sheriff.
It's not landed.
f*ck!
Ten years chasing
this f*cking guy.
What am I missing?
There's two types
of people in this world.
The do-ers,
and the watchers.
And the f*ck
like us who take their sh*t
while they're
doing and watching.
Genius boss, absolute genius.
Your brother's a genius.
Can you just land this thing.
You know, it takes a
little more finesse than that.
Oh, sh*t.
Bre-Brenda.
Uh-huh.
Take it, take it.
Someone, please tell
me that wasn't my 20 grand
worth of oxy that just
splashed down the f*cking lake.
Uh...
okay. Uh.
We might not have
much to talk about otherwise.
Oh, sh*t.
Hey, boss.
Someone's going in
that lake to get my pills.
Oh, what the f*ck?
Oh sh*t.
Didn't think you'd float.
-Really, the coupons?
-Not like they've gotten used.
Yeah, but they're
not even soaking anything up.
You're just moving
moisture around everywhere.
It's like--
I think that says more
about quality of the coupons
you got than my strategy.
Does it?
Yeah, I think so.
Hey, boys.
Hey, could you help my brother
get something from
my car for me?
Why can't he do it?
Go.
Okay.
So sorry,
he's still in training.
Happy to see your
cars all fixed and stuff.
Oh no, it's all good.
It was nothing.
I, um,
I was actually hoping
that I could, uh,
return that guy.
Wyatt, yeah.
Wish I had a
receipt for him too.
That's funny.
Hey, Ryker, good to see you.
How's school been?
You can't
return a used mattress.
It has stains all over it.
Yeah, there's
actually more back there.
Yeah, I don't know if I
can really give you a refund
for that, cause it's like used.
Yeah, I'm actually moving.
I don't really
want to deal with lugging
that big thing around.
I could really use the cash too.
Hey, what the f*ck is this?
We don't even sell these.
-You're moving?
-Yeah.
Just gave my two weeks
notice at the restaurant.
It's been hard here, you know?
Now after Denver and
Ryker leaving for school next
year,
there's just nothing
really keeping me here.
And I just want something,
I don't know,
just something, I guess.
You know, I gotta be able to go
where the current's flowing,
and it ain't flowing
through Nice, California,
I could tell you that much.
That's a nice spiel.
Perry, you're not actually
considering taking this,
are you?
Yeah, I'm not taking
this sh*t back to the truck.
Where are you gonna go?
Just gotta go south, San Diego.
Oh sh*t.
San Diego.
San Diego?
Greener grass, so I've heard.
Lynette, let's go.
Let's get outta here.
Yeah, I'll be
right there, one sec, Ryke.
You wanna count that or?
You are the best, Perry,
thank you.
Oh hey, we're having
a little going away party
at the Leaky-Tiki tonight.
You guys should come by.
Hey buddy, thank you.
That nightstand has three legs.
Bye, Perry!
Yeah, I'll
get that, don't worry.
I'm actually moving.
There's just nothing
really keeping me here.
You're out
of time, Per. Now or never.
Go!
That's my best friend, dude.
Right there,
that's my best friend.
Alright, f*ck you guys, man.
I don't see your best
friends hugging chicks.
Dude, that's my guy!
Hey, you're doing it again.
Woo-hoo!
You know me, Wyatt.
I've always had a master plan.
Saving up
money to buy the store.
Get a little house
on the lake with Lynette.
Little Scottish
terrier named Alfie.
Taken is on HBO.
Oh, really?
How many people are there?
Be precise.
Oh my God.
What a great movie.
Assuming asking her on a date,
is just out of the question?
It's just not urgent enough.
-I need something big, like--
-Like what?
Still an ideation phase.
What's after the ideation phase?
Refine then prototype.
You don't listen to
any of my seminars, do you?
Not even a little bit.
Oh, sh*t.
The power too,
must be the whole street.
Oh, just me, cool.
See Liam Neeson, like
dude, saving his daughter.
What a hero.
That's what I need to be like.
Be on some Liam Neeson sh*t
and save her cat or something.
Knight in shining armor.
But if you don't.
I think I got an idea.
And I will k*ll you.
Good luck.
Oh, Perry, hey.
So listen, the plan,
here's what I'm--
-What are you doing?
-Oh, I just--
I felt like it should
reach it's full potential
before I scrape
the whole thing down.
Full potential,
you're just making it worse.
Well, sometimes
things gotta get worse
before they can get
better, that's what they say.
No, that's cancer, not graffiti.
Please put the paint down.
Listen, the plan.
People love heroes, right?
I'm lost.
Lynette, you said it yourself,
you gotta like save
her cat from a tree
or something like that.
But, what does Lynette love
more than
anything else in the world?
Her brother,
Ryker.
Visualization, nice.
You need to
save her little brother.
You save him,
you're a hero.
You keep saying save,
but he doesn't need saving, so.
You manifest what
you want in this world.
Isn't that one of
your dumb, stupid sayings?
Close, you manifest your
destiny through your energy.
Hold on, shut up.
You kidnap him.
-Just like, just temporary.
-What?
Okay, and then you save him,
Liam Neeson-style, m*therf*cker.
Yo, you're actually
crazy, you're insane.
Why would I ever listen to you?
You're trying to take me to jail
for kidnapping
some 17 year old kid?
Do you want the girl or not?
I want the woman.
But yes, semantics.
But we live in
a society with rules.
We're not orangutans.
You got any better ideas?
No.
Perr.
He'll be in on it.
So let me get this straight.
Someone's gonna kidnap me,
lock me up somewhere
to keep me hidden,
then this dildo's
gonna come save me
and f*ck my sister.
Approximately, yes.
Why do we have
to be so crass about it?
Look, we'll
make it worth your while.
Is this a Beauty Rest 600?
Not now, please.
I mean, the cooling
technology on this thing
is pedestrian at best.
The pocketed coil
count is just disrespectful.
The Serta
Copenhagen Collection--
Dude, f*cking stop.
You'll get used to it.
What's in it for me?
I am willing to offer you fifty
dollars.
Hard cash.
And the knowledge
that you helped
true love find its course.
No, I want your f*cking car.
My Rabbit?
Yeah, your f*cking car, dude.
No, no f*cking, no chance.
Let me handle
this, let me handle this.
I'll talk to him,
I'll talk to him
That can be arranged.
Wait, no, no, no.
It cannot be arranged.
Listen, I don't
have a lot to offer you,
but I promise I'll
treat your sister right.
Listen, dude,
I don't give a f*ck
how you treat my sister.
Whoa.
It's the car, or no deal.
Fine.
We'll do a timeshare,
60-40 split,
no smoking in the vehicle.
-Deal?
-Done.
Okay, well, looks
like my work here is done.
You two have
a great time, all right?
Whoa, what do you mean, you two?
No, no, us three.
Dude, I can't
do this without you.
I really can't, I'm on parole.
What, you've never been in jail?
What the f*ck are
you still doing in my room?
All right, we're leaving.
Oh, FYI, dude, kind of overkill.
You know, what do you
think a girl's gonna
come in here for
the first time and go,
"Oh my God, f*cking g*ns.
Oh, I love Tupac's Law,
iridescent Lamborghini,
get me a Sham Wow,
I'm soaked. f*ck me now."
Come on, dude.
Get real, switch up the decor.
-Jesus Christ.
-Yeah.
Know what it looks like?
It looks like
you went on Google Images
and typed in "douchebag stuff,"
and then just
f*cking printed it out
like you just got a
colored printer or something.
I mean, it's ridiculous, dude,
come on.
Yeah.
Oh, you know what, never mind.
Never mind, dude.
I didn't even see this.
Holy sh*t, that's sick, dude.
I take back everything.
Holy f*ck, you are sick.
Yeah.
Have I hit the third crack yet?
I don't know, why?
Well, first crack
good and well,
second crack jail cell.
What is that,
what are you doing,
why are you rhyming?
It's a rhyme, so I don't
go to jail, what do you mean?
If I hit the third crack,
it means the camera can see me.
Back the car up,
don't do that again.
Jesus Christ,
those are his friends?
Yeah, we need witnesses,
it's essential to a plan.
You couldn't find any witnesses
that aren't f*cking
training for the Iron Man?
He's literally
bench pressing right now.
Well, then he'll be tired, so,
you ready?
Yeah
Man, who's this guy?
I don't f*ck know.
Why you skipping
our way like that?
Look, I--
No, no, no, no.
No!
I panicked.
Evidently, you did.
Big old baby.
"I'm not getting out the car."
Hi. Ma'am?
I was hoping you might be able
to help me out with something?
Ma'am?
Ma'am?
Was I out?
Yes, ma'am.
For how long?
How would I know that?
You got a warrant
to be in my house?
I'm not in your house.
Am I in my house?
Also, no.
Well, then, uh.
We got dish towels,
five for a dollar.
Can I interest you?
-No.
-f*ck!
Okay. I need a favor.
A list of patrons that have
bought a significant amount
of paint in recent weeks.
There's a mural
painted on the Mattress King.
That one?
Yeah, that's the one.
If I could just get some names.
Okay, just have this prepared.
If I were you, and I'm not, but
if I were,
I'd start right there.
Ryker Jean,
little troublemaker he is
always scheming.
How do you know all this?
Dollar store.
Not sure what that means, but,
thanks.
-Excuse me?
-Oh!
Jesus, where the hell'd
you come from?
Aisle two.
There's a second aisle?
We wanna buy these.
All right, we've got
a special on dish towels.
No, thanks.
Son of a b*tch.
Nice.
Like my oxy is a f*cking iPhone?
Whose idea was this?
Not me, boss, it wasn't me,
I never had an idea
before in my entire life.
-You know me.
-I don't care who it was,
it was rhetorical.
Someone needs
to come up with a plan
to get my money
before I lose my sh*t.
I think we already established
that it's not gonna be me.
I got a plan.
Nobody.
Anybody at all.
-I know you heard me.
-Nobody's got a plan?
Okay, sis,
we'll go with your plan.
Desperate times.
Snow Patrol,
"What if This is
All the Love I Ever Get?"
Whoa, whoa
What if this is
all the love you ever get?
Phase two.
Weaponizing, they're 17.
You didn't
feel that kid's punch!
You should have head butted him.
Head butt?
Yeah, it's an underated move.
He was five feet away,
there was no way
I could execute that.
Jumped into it,
then a jumping headbutt.
Like a, like a f*cking narwhal.
I don't think I'm that athletic.
Which is why I brought this.
Jesus, dude, isn't that
your grandpas shillelagh?
Yes.
Element of surprise.
What are you doing?
Where do you keep
pulling these things from?
Where are you
getting all this stuff?
My pockets.
You don't smoke.
Well, I could, so.
This thing is too complicated.
You're getting out
of the car this time, right?
I wasn't gonna f*cking
get out of the car this time.
Are you f*cking serious?
What the f*ck are you doing?
-What?
-Get the f*ck out of the car.
-You wanna do this right now?
-Yes, we're doing it now.
-Okay, all right.
-Hurry up.
Well, maybe
I'll watch over there.
No, you're gonna
watch from right here.
Stop being a baby.
Stop, dude.
Baby.
Holy sh*t!
I think we lost
the element of surprise.
This baby Gandalf
want the smoke?
Yeah, what the f*ck's up, p*ssy?
f*cking b*tch.
Oh my God.
I'm so sorry.
I never should've weaponized!
Oh!
This guy's a f*cking assassin.
Oh!
Nice.
We did it.
f*ck yeah, we did it, dude.
Let's head out.
What are you doing? Stop it.
It's a concussion test.
Hey, can you
do that sh*t for me?
I got hit with a f*cking stick.
You got hit with a shillelagh.
Yeah, I definitely
have a concussion.
This is worth a lot
more than 50 bucks.
Yeah, and I
definitely get the Rabbit
on the weekends now.
No, no, no.
I'm not
entertaining either of you.
Not with this music you're not.
Hey, did you
black out back there?
What? No.
What are you talking about?
You did, you blacked out.
Shut up, you little
hostage-a*s b*tch.
Wyatt.
Look, it's a perfectly normal
bodily response
to getting hit in
the face with a car door.
Oh, bullshit. It was after.
-Wyatt.
-No.
Wyatt.
-No.
-Wyatt.
-What?
Your nose.
What?
Oh no.
-Oh my God.
-Not the receipt.
-Wyatt!
-Ah!
So what's up with that sh*t?
You just, pass out,
every time you
think of your own blood?
It's called Vasovagal.
Surprised he
hasn't outgrown it yet.
You know, a lot of
scientists actually think
it's a sign of
virility, you know,
like the next step of our
evolutionary chain or whatever.
Yeah, that's bullshit.
Really not a big deal.
Rarely happens and, you know,
gotten pretty good
at not thinking about it.
I'm beginning to understand
why his head's so f*cked up.
Oh, f*ck.
Hi.
I'm looking for Ryker Jean.
He lives down
the hall with his sister.
Yeah, I actually
was gonna call you guys
because he was actually taken.
What do you mean, taken?
Some guys just took him, man.
They had these weapons,
clearly well trained,
with these
particular set of skills
and they just took him, man.
They just took him.
Who, who took him?
I don't f*cking know.
It's not like
they introduced themselves.
Ah!
Come on.
You good?
You sure you're
gonna be okay in here?
Well, I mean, it's gotta
look like I'm hidden, right?
Not a lot of
hiding places in Nice.
Wyatt. Is that
a King Koil Croft Euro Top?
-Yeah, 2014 model, why?
-I said a quality mattress.
Oh my God, we kidnapped the kid.
It's not like
we're gonna f*ck him.
Where'd you even find that?
I don't know anybody that
sells that within 10 miles.
You said don't get
anything from the store, okay?
This was the best
I could do on short notice.
It's used,
where'd you even get it?
f*ck, no HBO?
We agreed. No premium channels.
Section 3A,
TV will include basic cable,
no premium channels or add-ons.
Holy sh*t, dude, does
that thing ever run out of tape?
Bluetooth.
Automatically
connects to the cloud.
Well, I'll be seeing you.
Hey, I got you
that lock for Christmas.
Knew it would come in handy?
Thanks again, man.
Hey, can't take all the credit.
You are paying me three grand.
I only owe you fifty bucks.
Ah, semantics.
Isn't that right,
semantics?
I feel like
there's a "C" in there.
Is it schematics?
-You're overthinking it.
-You're underthinking it.
Dude, it does
not f*cking matter,
what kind of mattress
he's lying on.
Oh, f*ck, she's here Perry.
She must know
she's on to us, f*ck.
-Be cool.
-Be cool.
I am cool.
Hello, Lieutenant,
what an amazing surprise.
-How's your investigation going?
-Narrowing down on suspects.
Is there any
reason that two of you
might have any
problems with the Ryker Jean?
Oh, f*ck?
Oh, f*ck what?
Oh, f*ck,
that's Lynette's brother.
You mean the girl
that you were flapping over.
-The object of his obsession.
-Okay, no, no, we're
friends, old childhood friends.
And are you two
friends with her brother?
Well, friends.
It's a strong way to put it.
I'd say we're
more acquaintance friends.
Friends on the
acquaintance spectrum.
60-40 on the
friend-acquaintance spectrum.
If I had to put a number on it.
-Yeah, numbers.
-That's what I'd.
And numbers don't lie.
-I'd say 60-40.
-60-40.
60-40, huh?
-Yes.
-Approximately.
-Yes, right?
-Ish.
Do you know where he is?
Can't seem to find him anywhere.
That's reserved
for people more on the--
70-30. And we're not there yet.
We're not quite there yet.
After a few more hangs, maybe,
but not right now.
I haven't gotten that bump yet.
Right, well.
If you hear from him,
just let me know?
Of course.
-Righto.
-You'll be the first call.
Righto, yeah, that's it, righto.
-Right.
-That's something
I say. Yeah.
Looks like you got something
stuck in your car here.
Just doing my part.
Littering's ill*gal.
Littering is ill*gal.
Yeah, you betcha.
Have a good day, officer.
I'm gonna throw up.
I swallowed it.
Well, it looks like
you and I are
at loggerheads there, Miss.
Officer.
Miss Officer.
It's a matter
of public security.
Well, I
realize that, Miss Officer,
but the moment
I open those gates
to any matter of public security
is the moment that I
begin to lose my integrity
for being a gatekeeper.
Now, you understand that.
I could have you arrested
for obstruction of justice.
I said to you
that I'd be more than happy
to escort you
around the property
if you just present me with
a judicially signed warrant.
Now, you do understand
that, don't you, darling?
-Oh, don't call me darling.
-Don't call me liar.
I never called you a liar.
Well, it wasn't a liar,
you were inferrin'.
-You mean implying?
-Well, maybe it
was more insinuating.
You calling me a liar?
I have no idea
what I'm calling you.
I'm confused.
Just tell me if
this unit belongs to the guys
at the Mattress King.
Perry, and the other guy.
Because if it does,
then I know that you know
that those guys
got you drowning chin deep
in a mess of
all that you don't know.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, I know what you mean.
It's theirs.
Damnit, dude!
Why do you always
have to stop like that?
Make the call.
You make the call.
-Lynette knows
my voice too well.
-That's just not true.
-Yes, it is.
-Paper bag, really?
You don't think this
was sketchy enough as it is?
-I don't want
my fingerprints on it.
-Oh, shh, it's all right.
Really, the coupons?
Shh. I'm on the phone.
Hello?
Is this Lynette Jean?
Who's asking?
Sister of Ryker Jean?
I said who's asking?
Daughter of,
what's her Dad's name?
Daughter of our Lord
and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Yeah, this is she.
We have your brother.
What?
Yeah, idiot.
We kidnapped him.
He's safe,
for now,
but we're gonna need
$10,000 in unmarked bills
by Friday at noon.
Behind Racheria on Main Street.
And you better not
contact the authorities,
especially your
stupid little boy toy,
or else the kid f*cking gets it.
Yeah.
And it's not gonna be quick.
It's gonna be painful.
-As f*ck!
-Stop
and you're gonna
watch the whole time.
And then you know what?
You're next.
Yeah.
What was that?
You took that so serious.
Hey, you mess with the bulldog,
you're gonna get
some slobber on your toes.
You're so gross,
I just got spit all over me.
Slobber.
Mills.
We just sat down.
I'm gonna need
you to call the judge.
I really don't have time
for a graffiti case, Forbes.
-It's bigger than that.
-But there's more graffiti now?
I meant it's bigger
than just graffiti.
You've gotta trust me on that.
Perry and that other fool
are actin' all kinky,
I got blood on
this f*cking receipt,
and some kid
who was a prime suspect
has just
disappeared into thin air.
-Who disappeared?
-I'm lost.
-Ryker Jean.
-Wait, Lynette's brother?
No, he's AWOL all the time.
Stays at friend's houses,
it's really not a big deal.
You're in Nice, Forbes.
Idiots spray walls.
You've investigated,
write it up, file it away.
Don't go crazy over it.
What's that supposed to mean?
Just a joke.
You don't know sh*t about me.
Whatever you
googled or heard, whatever.
You know, I arrested
that kid three f*cking times
for driving under the influence.
I threw the
entitled little prick in jail
where he
stayed all of 37 minutes.
So yeah, I may
have had some choice words
with the councilman,
and it may have gotten
caught on tape,
and there's some discrepancy
over whether
it involved pepper spray.
Sue me.
By the way, the little as*h*le
drove drunk again.
Put an 89 year-old
grandma in the hospital.
So no, I won't just write it up.
You can either help me
or get the f*ck out my way.
Forbes.
What do you need?
Let me get this straight.
So your plan was to rob--
-Open it.
-I'm trying!
A dollar store.
I don't suppose
y'all are here to inquire
about our three for two
special on novelty coasters.
Are ya?
Do you know how many items
they would have had to sell
for there to be that much
in the f*cking till?
Run! Run! Run!
Faster!
Twelve,
hundred.
thousand,
million.
How many did you get?
Hey, at least I tried.
Jesus Christ.
You tried?
I'm out $20,000,
but thank God you tried.
You know what?
That's how
we'll pay the supplier.
"Hey, sorry, we
don't have your money,
but what I do have
is a big steaming piss pot
full of my sister's
sincere f*cking efforts."
So we're good then?
Right?
Anyone else have any comments?
Again?
Step away from the idiot.
He does not
deserve your comfort.
I'm the one who's out $20,000.
Don't.
You.
Dare!
Can somebody help me up?
I can't feel my left arm.
Brenda, come on, Brenda.
Just bring me a bandage
or a f*cking napkin.
It's a good thing
I've already put
another plan into motion.
Hey, down here, guys.
Somebody patch him up.
Oh, please, thank you.
Everybody else,
stop f*cking up!
Just give me one,
one minute, please.
Okay.
- Lynette.
- Oh!
Uh, are you okay?
Yeah.
What's wrong?
Nothing.
I'm good.
Anything I could help with?
Somebody took Ryker.
And they said
not to go to the police.
Don't worry.
I'll take care of it.
I mean, I couldn't possibly
have enough information
to keep going.
I, um,
I thought it was
a prank at first, right?
But I've called and texted.
He ditches sometimes,
but he always texts.
And they want a ton
of money to get him back.
I can't even go to Denver, like,
I don't know who would do
something like this.
Well,
I mean, now that
I have enough information,
I'll take care of it.
You?
Yeah, me.
I have my ways.
I'll have him
home by dinner tomorrow.
Promise.
You're a good guy,
Perry Phillips.
Thank you.
I know I don't say
this a lot, but,
thank you.
For real.
Um,
what the f*ck?
What the f*ck?
What the f*ck?
What the f*ck?
What the f*ck? Where'd he go?
f*ck' kidding me?
Well, this is just great.
This is just superb.
Fantastic.
He didn't just,
you know, walk out of here.
No sh*t, Wyatt.
He didn't just walk out of here.
Okay, process of
elimination, all right?
Well, he's not
gonna be under that pillow.
What did I just say?
Process of elimination, okay?
He didn't just
vanish into thin air, probably.
-There's no back door,
so that's off the table.
-Who is that?
-Wyatt!
-Look, just because
it's not your process
doesn't mean it
doesn't have its own merits.
Shut up, Wyatt!
Who is that?
Um.
Hi. Who are you?
Get on.
Oh no, I'd rather not.
Yeah, plus I have this drink,
and I haven't seen a cup holder.
I said get on.
Yeah, of course.
Cool, sounds good.
You too, b*tch boy.
Just grabbin my jacket,
that's it.
Don't you dare put a foot
in that car.
I'm gonna just
put my hand in there.
If you put your
second hand in the car.
-Wyatt, get in the car!
-Don't you dare get
off this bike.
Get in the f*cking car!
Ah...
Hey!
Don't you dare drive away!
Who the f*ck was that?
-Where you going now?
-Watch this maneuver.
A maneuver?
You call that a maneuver?
That was a maneuver?
It was the early
makings of a maneuver,
and then it
just got cut short, okay?
Okay, back the f*ck up,
get out of here.
Oh crap!
Oh, outmaneuvered.
f*ck.
Lock the door,
lock the door, lock the door.
Oh great,
now he can't get us.
-Oh my God.
-Open this door.
It was an accident
back there, we didn't mean to--
Oh f*ck, Perry, that's a g*n.
Perry, he has a g*n.
Thank you for
the identification, Wyatt.
I know what a g*n looks like.
What the hell
are you f*ck doing
on private property?
Don't worry about
this old man, I got this.
Go back to your trailer.
Open up!
Want to talk to the manager?
I don't take
kindly to strangers,
especially those who
don't respect a man's lawn.
Your lawn?
This one right here?
Right over here? This lawn?
Right here?
-Oh my God!
-God!
Good thing we
locked the doors, Perry.
Number one defense
against the f*cking g*n.
This one won't be rubber.
Get us out of here!
-I'm trying!
-Go, go, go, go!
I'm trying!
No, no, no,
you're going the wrong way.
Oh my God!
-Did I hurt him?
-That was an maneuver?
That was an accident!
-You think he's dead?
-I don't know!
Hit him again!
Oh my God!
I think he's dead.
He's dead.
Oh my God!
This guy's f*cking invincible!
-How many times did
he get a c*ck that sh*t?
-I don't know!
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
I'm trying! I'm trying!
-Why are you crying?
-I'm not, it's sweat.
-Stop crying!
-It's f*cking sweat.
What's the plan now, genius?
-I don't have one.
-What?
I don't have one!
There wasn't a seminar for this?
No.
You say no?
There wasn't a seminar for this!
Must have missed some detail.
There's devils in the
detail, why didn't I just...
I always know
that there's something--
The details, Perry,
God damn it, man!
You're so f*cking
worried about the small stuff,
with every leaf on every f*cking
tree is doing
that you can't see,
the whole f*cking
forest is on fire, Perry.
We need to get rid of the car.
-My car? No!
-Yes.
You just hit a guy
two f*cking times.
This car ties us
to the whole thing.
We're getting rid of the car.
It sounds easy for you,
it's not your f*cking car!
We're getting rid of the car.
No!
We're getting rid of it.
No.
I loved that car.
I guess we probably
could have just painted it, huh?
-Wait a second.
-Whaddaya got?
Son of a b*tch.
All right.
What are we looking at here?
You can zoom on it.
We know that car.
Yes, we do.
You are making
a strong case for...
deputy lieutenants.
Deputy lieutenant.
Deputy sheriff,
comma, lieutenant.
Now it sounds like a demotion.
No, no, it's--
I was addressing
you as lieutenant.
Okay, now we're
right back to where we started.
Not entirely. Now?
You know how to zoom.
Oh, yeah. That's nice.
-Give it a try.
-You do that.
There you go.
Nice.
We have to go to the police.
Yeah? And tell them what, Perry?
Hey, so we, basically
we fake kidnapped this kid,
but then he
actually got kidnapped.
Oh, and then we
hit this really old guy
with our car like two times,
and I think he might be dead.
How do you think
that's gonna look, Perry?
Probably not good.
God damn it, another motorcycle?
Where do you
guy's keep coming from?
We didn't have time to regroup.
Just run and I'll distract her!
Hey.
Oh, he's still alive.
That's good.
-Nice salad.
-It's arugula, m*therf*cker.
God, it's obviously
arugula. Why would you say that?
Where are they taking us?
Uh, going up to the VIP or?
This is such a safety hazard.
Hi.
-Oh.
-That's a knife.
A creepy room.
Hey, guys.
Do not make a comment
about the mattress.
Just a terrible mattress.
Zane, boys are here.
Are those drugs,
in rice?
f*ck.
He's so handsome.
I'm gonna make this quick.
We have your little friend.
What's he talking about?
What the hell, guys?
This is getting kind of scary.
This wasn't a part of the plan.
Yeah, I don't
know if he's a friend.
You know, we actually
just talked about this
and decided it's
more of like a 60-40,
uh, friend-acquaintance split.
Hmm, okay. So then,
you wouldn't mind if we, uh,
played a game with your--
What was it again?
60-40 acquaintance.
60-40.
-Wyatt!
-You wouldn't mind that.
All right, stop,
please, please, stop.
He's just a kid. Please.
Yeah, might
not be a friend, but...
I could tell he
was worth something.
You know how?
You put that nice mattress
in the storage unit.
-I told you.
-It's not a nice mattress.
Look. I don't know
what game you're in
or what job you're pulling.
I don't care.
I really don't. No judgment.
But I'm hijacking it.
We need $20,000,
and we need it by noon tomorrow.
And I don't want to have
to do this and don't make me.
But I will take
drastic measures if I need to.
And I will k*ll him,
and his sister,
and you,
and, f*ck it,
anyone else I want, okay?
Totally understand. Yeah.
Complete absorption.
He gets it.
On my end.
Do you absorb?
-Yes, sir.
-We both absorb.
Okay. Brenda, have Tiny
take these boys home.
So, no hard feelings?
You kidding me?
Oh, what the hell, man?
Where are we?
He's definitely
holding a grudge.
I mean, what the f*ck
kind of flowers are these, man?
We don't have these
kinds of flowers, in Nice.
We must be in
a whole different...
f*cking ecosystem.
There's no Ubers.
There's not one
f*cking--do you know--
do you know
how far we have to be?
For there to not be one Uber?
We gotta be at the end
of the f*cking universe, man.
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
What are those?
No f*cking way.
What a come up!
How did he know about
Ryker and the storage unit?
-And Lynette.
-Huh?
Lynette! He said he'd k*ll
Ryker's sister. How'd he know?
A small town.
Hey, so what's the plan now?
I suck.
What was that?
I said I suck.
Greed, I was greedy.
I loved
everything about my life,
and I needed more for what?
Whoa.
I changed
everything about myself.
I became a criminal
and, like, a con man, a liar.
That's not me.
I might have really
put this kid in trouble,
like, serious danger,
and now I feel terrible.
I gotta be honest with you,
I didn't catch much of that.
There's cows.
I said that if we
get the f*cking money
and save that f*cking kid.
Cleared out this morning.
You see by whom?
Oh, now I don't
think this here subpoena covers
that sort of information.
-It does.
Show us footage
from the front gate.
That f*cking car.
Keep going.
-Stop.
-Zoom in on that.
You can zoom in on these things?
Step aside.
Yes, sir, Captain.
It's Sheriff.
I think that's
one of Zane's guys.
Fits the description
DuVernay gave us, too.
Know what I just realized?
You're supposed to
take a photo of the scooter
on the sidewalk now
before you can end the trip.
- Boys.
- Oh!
f*ck!
Sit.
Perry?
-Yes?
-Yeah?
Perry.
Tell me about your storage unit.
The one you
rented three days ago.
-Mm.
-Mm.
-Mm.
-Mm.
Um...
It's the company's?
Yeah, it's a company unit.
Now, what does
a mattress store company
need a storage unit for?
Don't they have a warehouse?
-Right? That's what I said.
-Yeah.
But, what Perry said was...
Um, research.
-Testing.
-Yeah.
Because sometimes--
they'll send a dud.
And you'll
feel it and you'll go,
I don't even know
if this is Tempur-Pedic.
Does this have to do
with the graffiti case or--
Ryker Jean is missing.
What?
Are you freaking kidding me?
Lynette's brother.
Don't you think it's a bit odd
that as soon as I identify him
as a suspect in the
graffiting of your store,
he just...disappears?
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
-Odd.
-With a guy like Ryker,
maybe he was
stricken with guilt.
-Yeah.
-And ditched town.
He's a wildcard, that guy.
-Maybe he panicked.
-No.
No. He was kidnapped.
We have a witness and video.
Oh, great.
-We can catch this guy.
-Yeah.
Yeah.
-Oh.
-Took him two tries.
-Two tries?
-Mm.
Well, looks like that guy didn't
do the job the first time.
Yeah, looks like the other guy
on the passenger seat
did not help.
Well, they probably
talked beforehand
-And they probably agreed that--
-That guy didn't--
Okay. Look at this.
That looks a whole hell of a lot
like the front
of your VW Rabbit to me.
My Rabbit was stolen. Yesterday.
-I forgot about that.
-Right into thin air.
First graffiti,
then grand theft auto.
In our little town of Nice.
Sheriff, what in
the ding-dong is going on?
Not so nice, huh?
You didn't report it stolen.
Yeah, I did.
Texted Denver about it.
Did he not make a report?
Denver blocked his
number three months ago.
We'll look into that.
-Please do.
-That's great.
That'd be phenomenal.
Boys.
-Sorry.
-Oh, this way.
I thought you
were gonna follow her there.
Okay.
Okay.
Feels a little unnecessary.
I refuse to believe
you two are bad guys.
But if I find out you two
are in the middle of this,
I'm coming after you.
Whoo!
You were stone cold, man.
That was awesome.
I mean, we didn't
look suspicious at all,
the Denver texts.
Brilliant. Brilliant.
Dude, I don't know.
You thought about the car.
I'm really still
pissed off about it.
Oh!
They back?
Oh, thank God.
I got so worried.
About Ryker, obviously, but...
But about you too.
Yeah. Um...
Well, about--
Have you heard anything?
Oh, yeah, he's got it
all under control.
Really?
Like I said,
there's nothing I wouldn't
do for you, Lynette.
You really are my hero.
Call me, okay?
See you tomorrow.
Time to f*ck up some drug dealers.
f*ck' drug dealers.
You ready for this?
Think so, yeah.
Oh, right. Sorry.
I think we need weapons.
Really? I don't know.
Eh, They have real ones.
-What?
-Yeah, I don't know.
Damnit.
Is it real enough?
Does it make you nervous?
-It's making you nervous.
-Yeah, it is.
You're aiming a g*n, stop!
I want to say
this is our best bet.
They always say don't
bring a knife to a gunfight.
What do they say
about shillelaghs?
I don't think it's ever come up.
-Freeze!
-Perry.
-Sorry, I never
had this opportunity.
-It's not funny.
Maybe no weapons.
This is our strongest defense.
Say we walk in with an
open heart, our hat in our hand.
-Bag of money.
-A bag of money.
And everything should work out.
Okay.
But you go in first.
The Stang, please.
Okay.
You're not gonna read
this whole f*cking
contract right now.
Just sign--just sign it.
Okay.
Oh!
Oh, no!
Ohh!
What are you, nuts?
Now?
We go one more
time around the block.
We're early, because
someone had to go 90 in a 45.
Well, if you pay
attention to my seminar--
Oh, enough
with the seminars.
Nice arugula.
They're early.
He's early.
Hate being late to the party.
Hey, boss, they're early.
Good job, Tiny.
Let's see it.
I swear to God,
if he brings that stick,
I'm gonna shove
it up his f*ck' a*s.
It's a shillelagh.
Dude.
Uh, Zane?
-Is he early?
-He's early.
What the hell's going on?
This is gonna
make things very interesting.
Wait, are you with them?
Okay, kid,
don't do anything stupid.
Put the bag down.
Just give him the bag, Perry.
-What are you doing?
We said no weapons.
-I'm really sorry.
Just give Zane the bag,
and everything will
be okay, okay?
Just give him the bag.
What the f*ck is going on?
Okay, that's enough.
Allow me to clarify.
You were a d*ck,
he betrayed you,
he was in on it,
and now we're taking
you for everything you're worth.
I thought you would recognize
that I was in real trouble.
I tried to tell you
I needed money,
tried to tell you
I was desperate.
I sold my drone.
You sold your drone?
-You f*ck' love that thing.
-I know.
Couldn't find any more buyers
than this f*ck' douchebag.
Okay, well, it didn't
even meet his standards either.
Go get the kid
who sold us that drone.
You're coming with us.
Everything go
cool with the drone?
Zane, Zane, I didn't know--
I didn't know
it was defective, okay?
I don't have the money.
It's hard to be the
elite drug dealer that I am
without any f*cking product.
I didn't know what else to do.
-No, no, no.
-I didn't have
any other options.
Wyatt, we've been best
friends since we were kids,
and this is how you ended it?
This is how you do me?
I'm sorry man. I'm--
Shut the f*ck up.
Life is full of disappointments.
I mean, we all
still live in Nice, right?
Tiny, come get the money.
Wyatt, go to the house
and see if Lynette's cracked
the kid's safe
and bring everything back.
Lynette?
sh*t, I forgot.
I knew I had
something to tell you.
The girl's in on it, too.
-The woman.
-What's that?
The woman's in on it, too.
All right, everyone, let's go.
It's gonna be okay.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, you're gonna
let him go, right?
We had a deal.
Zane, we had a deal.
Sonny, Cecil, get
this guy out of my face.
What are you talking about?
We had a deal, Zane.
No, no, let me go, let me go.
Zane, we had a deal.
Let me get
the rest of the money,
and I'll be back.
Don't do anything, Zane.
I'll be back.
What, did the
combination not work?
-Nope.
-It's 10, 15, 10.
The day you
guys went to homecoming.
Okay, it didn't work.
I literally saw it
through that mirror,
right there.
Wait, through the mirror?
Yeah.
Well, that would
change the numbers,
wouldn't it?
No, I don't think so.
You just had to show up early.
You really threw a
wrench into everything.
The plan was never to k*ll you.
I was gonna be long gone
by the time you found out
what was going on.
And I'd love
to stick to that plan.
Easier to lose
the cops as a thief
than a m*rder*r.
So you're a reasonable guy.
What do you say
we put this past us?
And we could come to
some kind of an arrangement?
Hell, maybe this should
be a fun story for the ladies
one night, huh?
10 would still be 10.
No, it wouldn't.
20?
No, not 20.
30?
Oh, opposite.
Yeah.
01, 21, 01
January 21st, 2001.
My fourth birthday.
Mr. Magier told
me it was your birthday.
I got something for you.
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
f*ck.
f*ck, what did I do?
What? Wyatt, what the f*ck?
Whatever.
You're scum.
Okay, kid.
You're a manipulator.
You're a pig.
You're a greedy,
money-grubbing f*ck.
I'm living
the g*dd*mn American dream.
-Drink it in, buddy.
-f*ck you.
That was a lot of words
from the guy without the knife.
Don't look so surprised.
Haven't you realized by now
that I don't
give a f*ck about you?
No one cares about anybody else.
All anyone wants is more.
I just have the guts
to say it out loud.
You two, get him out of here.
Everybody else upstairs.
Let's rip this
sucker open, what do you say?
I say let's
rip this sucker open.
What did we discuss
about obviously rhetorical
f*cking questions?
I believe we discussed it.
Not again.
Rhetorical.
I'm never gonna get this.
"Tiny, get rid of the
body."
"Tiny, punch the old lady."
"Tiny, do this."
"Tiny--" Who the hell?
f*ck yeah.
No, no, no, no, no
Perry, come on, man.
Perry, come on, man.
Perry, f*ck,
don't do this to me.
Oh, f*ck,
I'm so f*cking sorry, Perry.
You're my best
f*cking friend, man.
And you were right.
You were so right.
There are more important
things in the world than money.
Serta Copenhagen's
mattresses are a revelation,
And I need to be
more fiscally responsible.
I'm so f*cking sorry, Perry.
So f*cking sorry.
What the f*ck!
-You good?
-Knight in shining armor.
You f*cking as*h*le.
You better f*cking cry.
What did you find in the safe?
Zane, I don't
know what to tell you.
There's no money.
What the f*ck do
you mean there's no money?
I don't know.
It's just the dumb lock that
Wyatt gave us
the combination to.
The lock?
Zane.
You're gonna want to see this.
Zane, are you there?
Oh, sh*t.
It's hard to be
the elite drug dealer
that I am without
any f*cking product!
f*ck!
You f*cking hit me.
You deserved it.
Wait, what an idiot.
He gave us his
only piece of evidence.
Seriously?
That's fair.
You think
you're so f*cking smart.
You think
you're some sort of hero?
Huh!
I hate to break it to you, kid.
There's no such thing as a hero.
Not today, Zane.
Are you crying?
and bleeding?
Oh, f*ck.
-Ow!
-What the f*ck?
Element of surprise,
m*therf*cker.
Oh, I got you
this time, son of a b*tch.
You don't have
sh*t, Mills. I'm clean.
You don't have any evidence.
Bluetooth, b*tch.
It's hard to be
the elite drug dealer
that I am without
any f*cking product.
- f*ck!
- Drug bust!
Babe?
Oh, f*ck off.
How'd you do it?
It was locked!
Hey, I got you
that lock for Christmas.
Knew it would come in handy.
He didn't just walk out of here.
I could tell he was
worth something. You know how?
You put that nice
mattress in the storage unit.
Is that a
King-Coil Kroft Eurotop?
Where'd you
even find that thing at?
They don't sell one of those
within ten miles of this place.
Do not make a
comment about the mattress.
It's just a terrible mattress.
I need your help.
-Where are you wearing?
-That's Wyatt's drone.
Tell me what you know.
Devil's in the det--
Details! Devil's in the details!
So...
Oh, you good?
Were you asleep this whole time?
You good?
I'm fine.
You guys good?
Did we win the...
Did we win the...
Where did everybody go?
Did everyone dip?
Oh, is that, am I?
This is Sheriff Martin Mills.
All precincts, be advised.
We got the son of a b*tch.
f*ck you, Mills.
Ha-ha, Cut the crap, Mills.
Is that Cal from Lakeport?
f*ck off, Cal.
Think I may
end up liking it here.
You don't mind me saying, so...
Must be pretty big
idiots back there in Columbus.
You know, to let you go.
Re-routing to Columbus, Ohio.
Oh, for f*ck's sake.
f*ck!
Oh, that dude's head
was so freaking hard.
Definitely have a concussion.
No sh*t.
100 hours of community service.
Forbes has a
sense of humor about it too.
Look.
For what it's worth,
I didn't know how
far Zane would go.
No need to apologize.
Didn't apologize.
San Diego's not cheap.
Window of opportunity, you know?
I do.
Hey, bit of advice...
It's easier to
just ask a girl out instead.
I'll take that
into consideration.
Who knows?
Might've said yes.
No you wouldn't have.
But that's okay.
Well...
see ya!
No you won't.
Damn, I don't think
I've ever seen you pace before.
So that's that?
Guess so.
Lieutenant Forbes told me
you made a deal for me.
Something like that, but
she'll have her eye on you, so.
Act accordingly.
It's not gonna be
the same without you here.
Might be for the best.
Here.
A few things from my place that
I felt like you can use
and kind of say thank you.
For what?
For showing me where to look,
where not to, and
that I'm a f*cking genius.
I'm really sorry, man.
I'll be seeing you.
Gonna miss you, pal.
Heard some
windows needed caulking.
Bye, Perry.
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California King (2025)
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