01x01 - The Bo-nafide Soulful Bo-tector of Hair

[bunniefuu]

Previous Episode

In the last episode:

Following a huge earthquake,

Ken and Rika were transported...

through a time slip to the prehistoric ages!

But isn't this a new series starting today?!

H

-Hey, looks like it was the wrong one! What's going on?

What? Is this the right script?

It's the year X.

The world is controlled by the Margarita Empire.

Margarita Empire

The Margarita Emperor, Tsuru

-Tsururiina IV,

Tsuru

-Tsururiina

has decreed that everybody must become bald,

and has sent out the Hair Hunters to carry out his desires!

But one man is brave enough to stand

against the Margarita Empire, for the rights of hair and peace!

Stop it!

Inaf Village

As the name suggests, the Hair Hunt

removes the hair from people's heads.

This is how the Margarita Empire

enforces their authority.

Now this village has been hunted too...

Beauty

What will become of this world?

I found one!

You get your filthy hands off my hair!

Oh? How did we miss someone with such beautiful hair?

G

-Block Deputy Captain: Pikari

What if I, Pikari, Deputy

-Captain of G

-Block...

take care of it personally?

It's over...

Hair Hunting!

Was that some sort of whip?

Are you okay?

That was a close shave!

Nose hairs!!?

Now do you feel the pain that the hairs you've hunted have felt?

You dare oppose the Hair Hunters!?

Just who are you!?

My name is Bo

-bobo...

Bobobo

-bo Bo

-bobo

Bobobo

-bo Bo

-bobo!

I don't... get it...

Un!

Deux!

Note: "Toro Wa" is meant to sound like the word "Trois", or "" in French, which is pronounced like "Trwa" or "Twa". "Toro" is also a variety of sushi made with tuna, and "Ootoro" is the highest quality and most expensive variety of "toro."

The tuna was quality tuna!

And Pork tuna was a pig!

He's strong! And using only his nose hairs!

The old man in the nose

Hey, nose hairs, come on in!

We're closing up for the day.

What... what was that!?

Pretend you saw nothin'!

-Nothin'!

Who are you?

Pickle

I'm a pickle.

My name's Beauty. You're pretty strong, aren't you, sir!

Hey, hey! My name is Bo

-bobo! Don't call me "sir", call me Bo

-bobo.

Okay, Bo

-bobo!

Show some respect, dammit!

I'm a nice guy who wanders around,

fighting the Hair Hunters.

You saved my life!

I sure owe you one!

You mean you owe your hair one.

What do you mean?

I've never told anyone this story before...

But I guess it can't hurt...

It's a special offer!

- However, Pickle...

You're not allowed.

I can hear... the voices of hair.

Bo

-bobo Theater, part :

A Journey of Love, and Youthful Hair!

Something really weird is starting!

Bo

-bobo (Age )

Since I was a kid,

I've heard the voices of hair.

It's such a beautiful day...

Sure is!



- How are you?

- Long time no see, eh?

I want to eat curry rice!

A super

-size serving, with sauce and breaded pork!

I wondered why only I could hear the hair voices.

One day, I decided to ask my own hair.

Why is it only I can hear the hair voices?

How the hell should I know!?

What a shock...

Then, one day, I met him.

Sir, your hair is crying!

You mean you can hear it too?

His name was Iboji.

Iboji

He also heard the voices of the hair.

So why is it we can hear the hair?

How the hell should I know!?

Still just as shocking...

Iboji was the president of the Circle of Hair Restoration.

I learned so much from him.

So then, remember to use slightly acidic conditioner.

So anyway, do you wear boxers or briefs? I'm a briefs man myself.

Then I learned about how hair

was alive and trying to live its life to the fullest.

Hair

No way! There's no way that's true!

It's true. Try asking your own hair!



- Is that true?

- Of course! That should be obvious!

We've been having a hard time here, don't forget that!

The shocks keep coming...

And after teaching me that important lesson, Iboji left.

The End

I can't hold back my tears!

That's way too sad!

Was it really that sad?

From the day I learned the truth,

I became unable to ignore

the cries of hair in need.

Oh, so you heard my hair calling and came to save me just now, right?



- Wrong.

- What?

Then what was the point of the story?

Pretend you never heard it.

Then you shouldn't have told me!

Bo

-bobo Theater, part !

You've got another flashback!?

This one's all about my dad!

Yeah! Sweet!

However, Pickle... You're not allowed!

I've got a bad feeling about this...



-My father was a hair..

- I knew it.

Bo

-bobo Theater, part . Pun Pudding Pudding.

That sounds like it has nothing to do with his father!

Dad, I'm home!

Oh, already! There's some pudding in the fridge.

Take three, it's a special treat!

It was great. My father was always nice to me.

Bo

-bobo's Father: Tuyosi

And he always gave me slightly acidic conditioner.

Love ya!

But one day, the Hair Hunters showed up at our door...

It's the Hair Hunters!

I'm definitely not a hair!

I'm actually a big black pearl!

A black pearl, huh.

Is that so?

Okay, actually, that was a lie, but if you want some serious hair, take my son!

Dad!

The fate of hair is in your hands!

The End

What, done already!?

My father sacrificed himself for me.

I will avenge him!

No way! You were the one getting sacrificed!

Your father was a rotten cheater!

No need to praise my dad... you're making me blush.

I don't think anyone's praising him...

That happened a long time ago.

There's more of them!

Where are you going?

I'm gonna destroy G

-Block Base.

Alone?

Hair Hunter Brigade A

-Block Base

Hey, hey!

B

-Block Captain: Tsurun

Why'd we have to round up all the block captains?

B

-Block Captain Tsurun.

What is it, C

-Block Captain, Geha the Tornado?

C

-Block Captain: Geha the Tornado

All the members of G

-block

were crushed by Bo

-bobo at Inaf.

Is that true, C

-Block Captain: Geha the Tornado!?

Naw, it's true. Right, D

-Block Captain, Kitemasu?

D

-Block Captain: Kitemasu

Yep! They were just small

-fry anyway.

Would you guys mind turning it down a bit?

Why's that!? A

-Block Captain: Tokoro Tennosuke!

A

-Block Captain: Tokoro Tennosuke

Note: His name is a combination of the word "Tokoroten", a kind of Jelly, and "nosuke", a common ending to boys' names."

Because the vibrations of your voice are making me wobble.



- Sorry...

- Be more careful next time.

It seems you are all here.

Yes, Teru, Supreme Deputy Commander.

Hair Hunters' Supreme Deputy Commander: Teru

You see, the reason I gathered you all here today...

is none other than Bobobo

-bo Bo

-bobo.

As you probably already know,

He is on his way to destroy G

-Block.

On the other hand, the assassination brigade is getting restless.

Tsutomu! It's time to eat!

Yes, I'm coming!

Sorry, don't pay any attention to her.

So, the next item on the agenda...



- Tsutomu!

- We need to talk about our winter uniforms...

Tsutomu! I said it's time to eat!

Shut the hell up! I said I'm coming!

Who do you think you're talking to!?

Mom!



- You little brat!

- Ow! Sorry, mom! Oww!

Teru's Mother



- Idiot, Idiot!

- I'll never do it again, I promise!

Don't worry. There's still Hägen, the G

-Block Commander.

Hair Hunter Brigade G

-Block Base

That Pikari's late again.

Note: Hägen speaks in a very feminine form of Japanese.

G

-Block Commander: Hägen

How long does it take to shave the heads of

a village or two?

Hold it... what is this?

Grow! Grow! Grow!

That ain't gonna happen!

Well then... non

-chemical farming...

Biannual harvest!

No! My head is not farmland, dammit!

Who the hell are you!?

Huh? Is someone there?



- I'm talking to you!

- Me?

My name is Bobobo

-bo Bo

-bobo.

Bobobo

-bo Bo

-bobo, Bobobo

-bo Bo

-bobo, isn't that right?

I have no idea...

Hey, you're G

-block Captain, Hägen, right?

Exactly.

I wiped out the guys who attacked Inaf village,

as well as the rest of your base.

In short, I beat all your g*ons.

Oh? So you think you can beat me, too?

Yes, I do.

Silence, fool!

Sexy Beam

Sexy Beam!

Wh

-what? He hit me with his nose hair?

Who the hell are you!?

A nose hair master.

A nose hair master?

Finally.

Well, that's all the laundry for today.

The housewife in the nostrils

What a lovely day!

Stop looking so shocked and listen up.

Huh?

I'm a master of the Fist of the Nose Hair, a deadly technique that annihilates enemies using nose hair.

You should say your prayers. Because I won't

screw around with trash

that doesn't treat hair like hair!

Same goes for you!

Ah! Hiro's boxers!

What's the big deal about these nose hairs? I'm gonna rip one out!

Third Prize

Congratulations, you've won third prize.

A Bo

-bobo doll.

When you push the button on his chest, he talks.

Don't feed your wife spring eggplants!

Don't feed your wife spring eggplants!

Incidentally, he smells like Yamada.

Yamada? Who's that?

Don't you know Suzuki's cousin Yamada?

Yamada? Suzuki?

I don't want it!

This is really rare... If you suddenly decide you want it later..

It'll be too late...

Don't screw with me!

Nose Hair Barrier!

Nose Hair Barrier

You're a moron, aren't you?

I felt that one...

But the games are over!

Fist of the Nose Hair!

Nose Hair Festival

Nose Hair Festival!

They got tangled...

You are indeed an idiot.

I understand your weakness. That's all you can do!

Fist of the Nose Hair Secret Technique...!

Fist of Nose Hair Serpent!

Fist of Nose Hair Serpent

His nose hair is in my nostril!

What! What the hell does that mean?

It won't come out!

I'm off! I'll go on ahead, okay?

Booger Squad

Leader...

Booger Squad Leader

Go! Go! Go!

Leader!!!

You piece of crap... how dare you!

In that case, you leave me with no choice but to use Fist of the Nose Hair Secret Technique: Nose Hair Strangler!

What? Fist of the Nose Hair Secret Technique: Nose Hair Strangler?

Eat this!

Fist of the Nose Hair Ultimate Secret Technique!

Nose Hair Strangler!

Nose Hair Strangler

Time to close up shop again.

Can't you do me a favor, pops!?

No, no way. The game's on tonight.

No way!

Too bad for you.

A Nose Hair Master is nothing without his nose hair, right?

Your hair is mine!

It's over!

So where can I take you on Sunday?



- I...

- What is it?

Risumi

Maybe we shouldn't see each other...

Risuo

No, no! I don't wanna break up! I don't wanna! I love you!

Not snapping back....

I ain't snapping back!

No way!



- Don't let go!

- Risuo!

And now...

to finish you off!

Soul of Hair

Pronounced: Spar

-KUH

-ling

Sparkling!

He did it!

His... arm pit hairs...!

Nothing like the Fist of the Armpit Hair in the summer.

It's the summer?

Hey, you. I know you're there.



- Oops!

- Oops!

Stop hiding and come on out.



- Uh...

- Uh...

What is it?

Please, take me with you!

I'm not sure why, but I want to travel with you!

Please!

Me too!

I guess not...

Come along!

Bo

-bobo!

However, Pickle, you're not allowed.

NO WAY!!

Thus, guided by fate,

Bo

-bobo and the mysterious Beauty

have found their fates entangled on a fierce and cruel road.

I know Bo

-bobo's strong and all, but...

Is he really gonna go and defeat all the Hair Hunters by himself?

Mambo, mambo, mambo!

Samba, samba, samba!

You're singing!?

The Hajike g*ng

Bo

-bobo, who are these guys?

You again, Wig g*ng!

Wig g*ng?

No, you got the wrong guy. We aren't the wig g*ng!

Hajike g*ng's Junior Boss

Look at that outrageous hair! You have to be the Wig g*ng!

What kind of idiot do you take me for?!

But too bad for you. The Wig g*ng ends today!

Because our Boss is with us today!

Our Boss, Don Patch!

Don Patch?

What? Impossible!

How do you not know of our legendary hajikelist Boss?

You don't know Don Patch, the best hajikelist ever!?

Dammit, don't screw with me!

If that's the case...

I present to you, Don Patch, our Boss!

Don Patch

What?

He's not...

Li'l Patch Army

Hajikeing at all!

Who is this mysterious young man?

Will Don Patch ever show his hajike skills!?

And what will happen to Bo

-bobo and Beauty...?

Garlic... spider... mall... ruby...

Oh, but now's not the time to be playing word games!

How will Bo

-bobo and Beauty stand up...

against the Margarita Empire, the most powerful...

and terrible empire the world has ever known?

I challenge you to a hajike duel!



- Is he an enemy?

- As fellow Hajikelists, we must fight together.

Is he an ally?

Y'all just shut up and eat your fish sticks!

Which is it!?

Next time on Bobobo

-bo Bo

-bobo:

No you don't...