01x09 - Nu Gui

[bunniefuu]

[Yaga and Gui chanting
in foreign language]

Magnificent, don't you think?

Yes.

Now all we have to do
is perform this spell 7,999 more times,

and we'll have our army.

It would be easier if you weren't captured
in Quetzalcoatl's thrall.

I would rather die than be a sl*ve.

I only follow him so far.

If our plan goes well,

the witches will no longer be hunted,
and I will be free.

But we will not achieve our goals
like this.

[both groaning]

You know it's true.

[grunts]

There is another way.

We need a third witch.

Yeah.

A powerful one.

Something is really weird.

- We're moving.
- [gasps]

Alebrije's snoring
must have blown the ship away.

Well, I can't help it
if I'm a loud rester.

Keep it down.

Hang on, you two.

Okay, let's recap.

- We found the brotherhood...
- Found they were useless.

Then we went to sleep here on the ship.

Rather than sleeping
in soft palace beds.

And now we've sailed off for no reason.

Ooh, it appears the mooring line
has been cut.

Interesting.

Don't you think, Marcella?

What are you saying?

I'm implying that she did it.

I'm sorry, was that not clear?

- Why me?
- Oh, come on.

You're the only new person on the ship.
What are we supposed to think?

Back in Leo's village,
the kids all said she was a witch.

- That doesn't mean I did it.
- Everyone, calm down.

I know that you're not exactly
getting along with Marcella,

but you just need to have
a little faith, okay?

That's all I have.

A little faith.

Uh, uh, heh. Excuse me. Hi. One question.
Where the heck are we?

[Teodora] It looks like we're in China.

- Wow, great wall.
- Exactly.

- I don't get it.
- There's nothing else around.

Just a whole lot of zero
in the middle of nowhere.

Except for that large hole in the ground
over there.

I still don't understand why
the Ghost Compass is going crazy.

What? I'm just as stumped as you are.

Someone has something in mind for us.

I doubt it's roses and sunshine.

Yes, but I wanna investigate.

We should let whatever is happening
play out.

It looks like an excavation site.

There will be treasure
beyond our wildest dreams.

[Leo] I have some pretty wild dreams.

So, uh, unless it's filled
with talking chocolate tea cakes

riding backwards
on marshmallow unicycles...

I've got whatever is in there beat.

Nothing yet.

I'd kind of like to keep it that way.

Wherever we are, I sense it's deep.

[bat hisses then Alebrije shouts]

Oh, sorry. Pardon me, I...

[screaming]

Oh, come on, Alebrije, it's just a bat.

[screams]

Wait. They're not real. They're statues.

[Marcella] Amazing.
There must be thousands of them.

My goodness.

Whoever made these
took a lot of time with such detail.

Quite impressive.

If I didn't know better,
I'd think they're alive.

[shouts]

Everyone, come on.

Maybe there's another way out
down there.

[shouting]

Marcella.

[grunts then shouts]

Stop being so brave,
you silly, silly girl.

Especially when you don't have the skills
to pay the bills.

Yeah, yeah. What she said,
about the bills.

[Marcella grunts]

Hey, guys. Whoa!

Watch out. Marcella.

Stop.

Stop.

[gasps]

Welcome, fellow coven sister.

[Leo] Oh, no.

Baba Yaga.

Huh? Marcella?

No.

That witch.

Uh, why is Marcella
with the evil witches?

Because Marcella is one of them.

I see you got our summons, young one.

So, Marcella did cut our mooring line.

Ha! Told you.

I mean, I'm sorry I was right...

again.

[Leo sobbing]

Nu Gui and I
are the most powerful of witches,

and your mother is one of the
strongest Hechicera in the world.

You are a worthy successor
of your mother's lineage, I hope.

[snoring then grunts]

We are pleased you are here
for we need you.

This army of warriors will help the fight
for the witch sisterhood.

She lied to us.

Let us begin the joining of our trio.
But first...

You lied to us. To me.

[Leo shouting]

[laughing]

Lucky for me, they can't see ghosts.

[shouting]

Apparently,
witches can definitely see ghosts.

[all shouting]

You'd think that would be fun, ugh,
but it was not fun. Huh?

[grunting]

Oh. It's not gonna happen.

Well, I'm not ready to give up.

First, we've gotta find out
who this Nu Gui is

and what we're dealing with.

Then I wallow in self-pity
from Marcella betraying us. Agreed?

[all] Agreed.

Here it is. The Legend of Nu Gui.

"The first emperor of China
was powerful and stubborn.

He was obsessed
with finding the secret of immortality.

The Terracotta Warriors were created
to fight supernatural elements

during his immortal reign.

The emperor's daughter, Nu Gui,
was faithful, able, and very ambitious.

She discovered a special steam
that grows from the earth,

that her father had sought for so long.

But it also made her go mad.

She made a potion from the steam
for her father,

who received it as the greatest gift
a father could have.

But Nu Gui didn't tell him
that immortality was a gift

only for the first person
who discovered the steam.

For everyone else,
there was only madness and death.

She poisoned her father and turned
into the powerful witch she is today,"

like Marcella, the evil stinky witch

that turned out to be a total betrayer.

[Teodora] Wait, that's in there? Really?

What, you don't trust me?

Don't tell me what's in there or not.
Yeah, I'm talking to you, buddy.

Who me? Yes, you.
You, you and you.

- [both] Huh?
- Huh? Something is wrong with the boy.

[shouts] Don't call me "boy,"
Floaty McFloaterson.

You should be up there with the
witch women and their magic ways.

[grunting and shouting]

Get a hold of yourself, Leo.

Alebrije, do you smell something?

Uh... It wasn't me.

We can't smell at all.
We need you to smell.

You're in luck. I always smell.

[gasps ] The steam.

It's same one that drove Nu Gui
and her father crazy.

We need to get Leo out
or he'll go evil and nuts like them.

Hmm. I shall go and see
if there are any hidden passages.

If I'm not back soon, keep waiting.

[grunts] There's gotta be a way out
that doesn't involve a grappling hook.

What about you, big guy?
Which would you rather have?

- Huh?
- [Leo] Magic steam that makes you evil,

or a beautiful girl who turns on you?

Why do I have to choose?

Can't she be a magical girl
made of evil steam?

She was the girl of my dreams.

There they go, my dreams, one by one.

Leo, I'm trying to think here.

There's no way Don Andres and I are
strong enough to climb out and carry Leo.

- Well, I didn't find an exit.
- You're done looking?

Looked, got distracted by shiny rocks,
and, uh, I didn't find anything to eat.

You know what I eat? Heh.

My heart out.

I even wrote a song about it.

No. I'll sing the song.

No. I'll go first.

- You?
- Yes, me.

Okay, fine. Go.

[singing]
Marcella, you came and hurt my big heart

You punched and you kicked its little part

- Snap out of it.
- Hey.

It was worth it.

As we combine our powers as a trio,

we shall activate the warriors.

If we are not one with your...
Uh, our energy.

...This will not work.

This witch sisterhood needs you.

Quetzalcoatl's reign
is not going to defeat us.

Not if we have anything to say about it.

That is what I'm here for.

I am pleased you understand loyalty
to the sisterhood.

Yes, I do.

Good. Now, as I begin
to control the warriors...

You mean, when I control the warriors.

- They were my father's warriors.
- Yes.

And look how well
that turned out for him.

- And you.
- [shouts]

Um... This seems like a personal thing
between you two,

- so, maybe I should just...
- You are right.

Enough.

[groans]

Isn't there usually a sacrifice
of some kind?

Oh, don't worry, dear.
I'm sure something will turn up.

I'm sure I can go through this wall, too.

I... I'll go get Don Andres.

Um, I don't think so, Leo.

Or maybe yes.

[thud]

Probably not.

I've got this. Let's try one more time.

- Aah!
- Oh, dear.

Don't do that.

With your tricks
and your see-through-ness...

[shouts]

- Hiya!
- Oh!

Did you always have a mustache?
Because it's a good look.

[chuckles]

Thank the heavens.

I thought I'd die somewhere out there
in that God forsaken rock.

You mean you got lost
and didn't find anything helpful?

I'm afraid we are trapped here.

Wait, can't you ghosts float up?

Wait. Do you expect moi and this feeble,
decrepit, gassy geezer

to carry you both
straight up this sheer climb?

[Andres]
Look. A vine. How strangely convenient.

Yes, but it's a little too high.

Thinking...

Okay, guys, guys, I've got an idea.

If you throw me up there,
I'm gonna catch the rope. Okay.

[grunting]

- Higher.
- You can do it, Alebrije.

I like beans.

[shouting then laughing]

Huh? Huh?

[all cheering]

What's happening?

[singing]
You punched and you kicked its little butt

Alebrije, uh, what's going...?

[grunts]

Oh. How humiliating.

[groaning]

[Leo] Marcella.

Let's not do that again.

Look. It doesn't matter how I feel.

I won't leave her behind
with those witches.

We're gonna figure out all of this
with her. And I'm not leaving until we do.

- Right.
- Right.

[witches chanting nearby]

No.

No!

[shouting]

Marcella!

[grunts]

Attack, my warriors.

You mean, ahem, my warriors.

[both laughing]

Oh, no, not again.

Yes, I meant to do that.

Dorks. Catch me if you can.

[grunting]

Alebrije, this way.

Alebrije, away.

Hey, that rhymes.

All right. [shouts]

I think I'll take my leave.

[laughs] Did I mention I love terracotta?

Yeah, well, some of my favorite pots
are made of you.

[Leo gasps]

Teodora. Marcella.

- What's your point?
- Help her.

[groans]

Okay, wake up, traitor.

Come on.
Get up so you can answer for yourself.

You hear me? You hurt Leo.

You hurt my friends and...

you... You...

You hurt my friends.

Oh, my gosh.

I think she's actually dead.

Darn it.

I hope I don't regret this.

One, two, three.

One, two, three.

One, two, three.

[gasps]

[gasps]

[both shouting]

[shouting]

You're alive.

Did I miss anything?

[Yaga groans then all gasp]

No. No.

You failed, Baba Yaga.

You were in charge.

Oh. Now I'm in charge?

How dare you.

It's your fault.

How dare you blame me for your weakness.

[groans]

You.

Awkward.

[both grunting]

Betrayer.

We were supposed to trust each other
as sisters. Isn't that what you said?

Run fast!

[all shouting]

[Leo] Run, faster!

[Alebrije] Leo!

Alebrije! I got you, buddy.

Come on.

That way.

Go.

Go, go.

Go. Go.

- Do you think they survived that?
- Nope.

[Marcella] Probably not.

Sorry I had to play along
with the witches.

And being under the summons spell, I guess
I did sabotage the ship to come here.

I just didn't know it.

- You were right about me.
- Kind of.

But not really.

[both] What?

I think we can trust her.

- Excellent.
- Finally.

What do you say we go eat?

Well, now, that's the wisest thing
anyone's said all day.

Wiser than when I tried to walk
through solid rock?

Way wiser. Like, the wisest.

Looks like you're not so bad after all.

I'm glad we finally trust each other.

I'm glad I helped you out, you know.
But...

will you keep my secret?

I won't tell, if you don't tell mine.