01x13 - The Serpent and the Egg

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[horn blaring]

This place is both malevolent
and preposterous.

And the sky is the color of my throw-up.

I have tummy problems.

[Marcella] How did Quetzalcoatl
bring the entire world into his realm?

[Leo] Does it matter?

What do we do, lad?

- Lad?
- [Marcella gasps]

[exclaims] Run!

Run!

[Don Andres] To the monastery.

- It's the most...
- We know!

[Alebrije] Follow me! I'll clear a path!

[grunts]

Hi-yah!

[gasps]

What is that thing?

Uh, I don't know, but I've got this.

[grunting then yelps]

[grimacing]

Oh.

Is that the Celestial Point?

How did you get it, Alebrije?

From Booger Yagger.

Well, it should be safe here.

Yep, good old vest pocket.

[creature clears throat]

[growls then group screams]

Huh?

[Marcella] Leo, run.

[expl*si*n]

[muffled grunts]

[Alebrije] Guys?

Leo?

Don Andres?

Ugh! That hurt.

I can get hurt?

Don Andres?

Where are you going?

[groans] Alebrije?

Don Andres?

- Leo.
- Marcella?

We gotta go.

- But...
- Now!

I'm sorry, guys.

This way. Hurry.

[growls]

I am so glad to see you, Leo.

Have you been getting enough to eat?

Abuela, please.

I'll make a plate for you
and your pretty girlfriend.

The magical dome around the church
is tied to these candles,

enchanted by a powerful Brotherhood spell.

Once we run out, though,

the hordes of evil
will be able to get inside.

So, hopefully,
you have many, many candles?

Yes? Please?

Well, we have this entire box of...

Oh, my mistake.

This is a box of wooden pegs.

So, no, this is the last one.

Of course it is.
At least we're consistent.

Unfortunately, the fate of the world
will be decided soon...

by Quetzalcoatl.

Then it's a good thing we have... this.

You have the Esfera?

We must destroy it.

But legend tells us
that it's indestructible

unless you have the Celestial Point.

[chuckles] Then it's an even
good-er thing that I also have...

a giant hole in my pocket.

Quit kidding around, Leo.

It must have ripped loose
when I got blasted by that lightning.

[gasps]

- We have to get it back.
- Leo, stop.

[gasps]

You'll never get past that.

Maybe Don Andres and Alebrije
had the right idea after all.

[exclaims]

We found our majestic vessel,
and hopefully my ticket out of here.

- How will we get on it?
- [screams]

[screams]

Hmm.

[moans] Quetzalcoatl want-ee ship.

Ooga-booga! [growls]

Quite.

[grunting]

Quetzalcoatl.

[all murmuring]

I'll set a course
to meet everyone at the church.

Now, now. Not so hasty,
my rainbow-hued friend.

That's much too dangerous.

I recommend heading
in the opposite direction.

I'm afraid there's no other way
out of the church.

[Marcella] Hey.

Something's happening.

Get over here.

[Leo groaning] Fish bones.
At least it can't get any worse.

It's worse.

[all gasp]

[whimpers]

Come out, lion,
and kneel before your master!

Leo, keep her talking
while I get the others into the catacombs.

Okay, Nu Gui, stop right there.

We're not going anywhere until we, uh...

negotiate the terms of surrender.

Terms?

My master's terms are simple.

Die!

Quickly, to the bell tower.

This won't hold them for long.

[Godofredo] Move, children.

As quick as you can.

What do we do now? We're trapped.

[grunts]

We have to buy some time.

[shuffling]

That's not the Celestial Point.

But she doesn't know that.

[Leo] Stop right there, Nu Gui!

One more step
and the Esfera will be destroyed!

And your master Quetzalcoatl
will not be pleased!

[Nu Gui] That's right, little lion.

The Destroyer comes for you. [cackling]

Don't make another move,
or I'll destroy the Esfera.

[stammers] I'll do it.

I know you will...

for we are two of a kind.

You think me a monster.

But you don't understand
why I do what I do.

[Quetzalcoatl] You see,
for progress to be made,

the old world must be torn down
from time to time.

That is when humanity
is at their greatest and most inventive.

When they overcome
a renewing fire, earthquake or flood.

And I also must give my life.

Life after life, time after time.

Sometimes, it seems wasteful.

But no matter.

I do this happily
so that humanity can better themselves.

I sacrifice myself again and again
for mankind,

and how am I repaid?

I was betrayed by my own priesthood

and left to rot
in this alternate dimension.

But I cannot be stopped forever, you see.

So, I brought the world to me.

I don't care where you've brought us.

Nothing can stop me from ending you
once and for all.

Frankly, I don't know what will happen
if you use that dagger in this realm.

But it doesn't matter.
You haven't got the nerve.

I'm giving you a chance.

Just walk away.

Get out of here
and I won't use the Celestial Point.

You don't have it.

Where is the Celestial Point?
I sensed it was near.

- Quickly, while he's occupied.
- What are we doing?

Sometimes one must put their faith
in providence.

And sometimes, one must take...

a leap of faith.

[Leo and Marcella yell]

How did you get here?

My dear girl, you didn't really think
I'd run off

and leave you in the lurch, did you?

Well, um... Mmm...

That was a rhetorical question.

It does not require an answer.

I think we should all leave in a hurry.

You can't run from a god!

A really fast hurry.

I knew that reasonable tone
was all an act.

I can't put my finger on it, but...

wasn't there something odd
about the way Quetzalcoatl was acting?

You mean odd for a 100,000-year-old
serpent elemental?

Crazy, right? That's what Teodora
would say if she were here.

I wish she was.

Get a grip, Leo.

Huh?

[stammering] Is what Teodora would say
if she were here.

- Uh...
- Hello? Remember?

Teodora and I merged minds.

[scoffs] Never mind.

You guys are really keeping it together.

Yeah, how come
you're not totally terrified?

We are made of sterner stuff.

Well, that, and, uh, we didn't come alone.

[whoops]

Glad you could make it.

Good thing,
because we're going to need them.

[horn blows]

[cackling]

[Quetzalcoatl] Halt!

You dare oppose me?

I am the end that brings the beginning.

Loose.

- Loose!
- Attack!

[grunting and groaning]

[laughing]

[grunting and groaning continues]

What?

[expl*si*n and screaming]

[Akihito] Fire!

Fire!

Selfless heroism.

[Quetzalcoatl] How adorable.

I think I shall keep it in the mix

for any of humanity
who survive my reaping.

Hold fast!

The helm won't respond.

I have no control of the blasted ship.

- [yells]
- Whee!

Alebrije, this is not a "whee" situation!

[explosions and yelling in distance]

[groans] As captain, I think any landing
you can walk away from is a good one.

Well, there's a saying
that'll never catch on.

Puny insects.

How dare you even think of defying me?

We must flee, Leo.

To where, Don Andres?

The entire world is in a dimension
that belongs to him.

- There's nowhere else to run.
- [Marcella] Look out!

Quickly.

You must destroy the Esfera.

Free me and all of my kind.

- [Marcella sighs]
- I don't understand.

The spell that binds me to him

prevents me from raising a hand
against him.

Don't just stand there.

Destroy Quetzalcoatl's egg.

Quetzalcoatl's egg?

- This is an egg?
- Of course it's an egg.

Can't you smell it?

What? You guys didn't know?

Foolish boy, cease your talking.

You have the Celestial Point.

Destroy Quetzalcoatl and free us all!

Do it, lad.

It's better than having Quetzalcoatl
destroy us all.

[Quetzalcoatl] Your time is at an end.

- I will destroy you now.
- [Don Andres yelps]

I don't think you will.

Do you think I can't?

Oh, you definitely can.
I mean, look at you.

You could crush me into bean paste
without even trying.

Which leads me to ask,
why haven't you already done it?

I mean, here we are,

in the place
of Quetzalcoatl's greatest power...

stole the Esfera, his egg,
and got away with it.

How's that possible?

It's not, is it?

No, it's not.

He let us go.

I smell bamboozlement afoot.

You want me, need me
to destroy your egg, because...

as soon as this egg hatches,
as soon as the new Quetzalcoatl is born,

you cease to exist.

I totally understand.

Everything up to "because."

It's simple.

When the new one arrives,
the old one, poof.

There can only be one at a time.

That's right.
And this time, you don't wanna do it.

You tricked us!

Yes, foolish witch.

I am ancient beyond your reckoning.

I put the legend in place
to make you think

you would gain my power
if my Esfera were destroyed.

- Here's a reward.
- [Nu Gui screams]

[gasps]

Why should I die
only to be reborn again and again

and have to relearn everything?

I am perfect and will remain constant.

I can remake the world for myself
and forget about humanity.

[Leo] There's only one tiny problem.

I won't do it.

I won't destroy the Esfera for you.

How do you like them apples? Heh.

[chuckles softly]

Really?

In my own realm?

Where my word is reality?

- No!
- Leo!

Where I can cast your spirit
from your own body

and make you my puppet, boy?

[groans]

Fight him, lad. Fight.

Come on, Leo.

[whimpers]

Get back in your body.
Don't let him stab the egg.

[grunts]

I can't.

Only now do you see
your efforts are pointless.

He has the strength of Hercules.

No more will I serve a race of ants.

I will wipe you all
from the face of the Earth.

Sup Kyojin Kingu begs to differ, monster.

Way to go, Akihito.

You will bear my full wrath, boy.

Come show me, then.
I stand ready, monster.

[grunting and groaning]

You've got to do something, my boy.

I'm just a ghost.

So what?

Teodora was a ghost

and that didn't stop her
from being a hero.

[inaudible dialogue]

- [Marcella] Hello? Remember?
- Ugh!

- Idiot.
- Teodora and I merged minds.

I've got this.

It's over.

[Akihito grunts]

This is my time.

You're right. It is your time.

[Leo] Hey, little guy.

Can you hear me?

Look, you're about to know
everything that I know.

The question is,
what are you going to do about it?

About everything.

Decide quick...

because you're being born right now.

No!

I plotted for 10,000 years!

The world should be mine!

[screams]

What a crybaby, huh?

We did it.

[all gasp]

We actually did it.

No, my boy. You did it.

I couldn't have done anything
without you guys.

That's for sure. Group hug.

Yay! I love these.

[church bell rings]

Wait, mi abuela.

Everything's fine now.

- Leo, be home for supper!
- Huh?

Would you get rid of that blasted thing?
It's leaking fluid everywhere.

Very sorry, madam.

I'll endeavor
to bring a tidier battle wagon

to the next apocalypse.

You are a true hero,
and I am honored to call you friend.

Heads up.

- What?
- Don't you see?

Quetzalcoatl, he was reborn.

The end of the world?

I don't think so.

Not this time.

Thank you for my life.

Thank you for sparing the world.

[chuckles] Let's call it even.

No, not quite.

[EKG machine beeping]

[flatlining]

[woman gasps] Teodora?

Nurse!

[sobbing]

[sniffs]

[EKG machine stops]

- Mom?
- Huh? [gasps]

[both laughing]

You're back.

[knock on door]

Excuse me. Trying to have a moment here.

Sorry to interrupt, but this letter
was given to our firm a hundred years ago.

To be delivered to this room to...

Teodora Vicenta de la Purisma Concepcion
de la Inmaculada Trinidad Villavicencio.

Right now, actually.

[Leo] Dear Teodora.

Hi.

So, if this worked,
you just woke up from your coma.

- Thanks for helping us save the world.
- You're welcome.

Look, I know you're probably tired
from all the not-moving,

but we have a new little problem here,
and I don't know how to get you back,

but, in a word, [yells] help!

Sincerely, Leo.