01x03 - Catnip and Trust

[bunniefuu]

Bright light city's gonna set my soul

gonna set my soul on fire

I got a whole lot of money that's ready to burn

so get those stakes up higher

I'm gonna give it everything I got

lady luck, please, let the dice stay hot

let me sh**t a seven with every shot

hey, viva Las Vegas

viva Las vegas

viva

viva...

Las Vegas.

Bring out the copper kettle

Take my hand and feel my love

and bring out the copper kettle

The coppering ketteling, the ketteling coppering...

Why are they doing that ?

... the coooooopper

That was copper kettle

Really ?

Sunly, our gifted and talented quire

just one of the advantages your children will enjoy

if they are accepted in our gifted and talented program

Thank you all for coming

And thank you Misses Falvy for a delightful evening of discussion and song

My husband and I have a great time, didn't we Larry ?

Oh yeah

You guys sure beat the hell out of dumb kids' quire

I love that program for Sierra those kids seemed really neat

What's wrong with you ?

Larry, this is a great opportunity for her

Hey the door is locked

Sierra !

Uhhmm... In a minute

You guys are back early

Why was the door locked ?

I don't know

The better question is "why do we live in a world where the doors need locks ?"

I think she's got us there

Honey you're gonna love the gifted and talented program

Misses Falvy's coming by tomorrow morning for the interview

Oh great... Awesome !

Mmmm these flowers are pretty

Where do they come from ?

- Uhh... I picked them
- Really you did ?

Yep, excuse me for wanting to make things look beautiful around here

She's in a weird mood

Maybe she senses a copper kettle in her future !

Ziegfried, I need a new tanning bed

Vhy ?

I vant to be to a hue that is "Cinnamon", this one only goes to "Gypsy"

Roy you must be quite I'm watching the tuba boobs

Feeling thirsty ?

Yes I am feeling thirsty, that is the third time he has asked me this !

Roy I need you, come kickly

Vhat is the problem ?

Cool up with the super Big Gulp cream

at your local 7/11

I even do have the "ahhhh"

Ok, you shall have it !

Thunder ! Lightning !

We are the copper kettle

take...

Larry, oh my god ! Get in here !

I'm kinda busy hon, I'm working on the fur grmph...

Boy, did my daughter hit the jackpot with you !

Larry this is a nightmare, look what I just found in Sierra's room

Please tell me this isn't what I think it is

- Yep, that's catnip
- Oh god ! Our daughter's a nip-head

Nice, you run a tight ship champ !

This explains the locked doors and the weird attitude

Look, she's a teenager, she's bound to experiment

Bound to experiment... Way to parents with authority !

Call me when she's pregnant

We failed as parents, we completely failed

Why is she doing this ? When I was a teenager I never tried catnip

- Did you ?
- Me ? Catnip ? Never !

Hey, kiddy cats, what's that man ?

We just find this in Sierra's room

This must take you back Larry

Always have the good stuff, huh buddy ?

Always a party at Larry's, lots and lots of ladies

Some say they were only there for the nip, but hey

least they were there... Does this ring any bell ?

- He's not doing it right
- I don't care

We have a serious situation here, today, now, what are we gonna do ?

Ok calm down, we'll just talk to her about it

Great, and what are you gonna say when she asks if you did it as a kid ?

Exactly ! We need professional help !

It's good you came to see me about your daughter

I've seen it all in my long life

Ravi Shankhar, the Beatles

that whole crazy scene.

Fact : I am Lucy...

from "Lucy in the sky with diamonds"

you don't know this because that damn McCartney wants credit for everything

You're Lucy ? But you're a guy

It was a weird time for all of us

So your daughter's a nip-jockey

Well we don't know for sure, but we're very concerned

You should be

Fact : we're talking gateway drug here man

First it's a little catnip, then horse tranquilizers

then before you know it, they're darting

- Darting ?
- Sleep darts ! Watch this

This is a rare video shot by an associate of mine in Africa

- Yes, so ?
- Now watch when I blow it up and slow it down

Oh ouais !!!

This is more footage of tha same lion, look how cunning he becomes in his search for the sweet nectar

Oh ouais !!!

Sadly, this is how they all end up

Fact : There were no remains

- What's that ?
- Don't kick you, this isn't a game Sierra

It's catnip, or as you and your friends might call it

Moltch, snorkel, monkey junk, street cheese or Siamese Coleslaw

What ? You think that's mine ?

- We found it in your room
- Oh my god, you searched to my room,

what happened to privacy ?

We saw a movie about a lion that roll a truck

We're not gonna let that happen to you

- Well it's not mine
- Then whose is it ?

I don't know, maybe one of my friends put it there

or maybe it's Siegfried and Roy it means now we're definitely explain the outfits

We're supposed to believe that ?
- Yeah, because it's the truth

I don't believe it

You don't trust me !

No we don't trust you, for all we know you're high on the...

Freedman right this minute

Honey that's the doctor that did the study

- You guys are insane !
- No, we are new generation of parents

We had a lot of fun so now you don't have to

Well congratulations, I didn't want to do drugs before

- but now maybe I will
- You're grounded

- You are the worst parents ever
- We are not, my parents were

Hello everybody

- Hi, I am Ziegfried
- And I am Roy

Hallo !

Ve have come to the Zieben/Eleven

How is everybody doing tonight ? Terrific !

Look vhat I have found Ziggy

I do not like this one

or that

goodbye

Yeek, woow, how dare you ?

Hello security camera

Here is one crime you cannot stop

I stole a six-pack

Ziegfried, the Big Gulp, I have found him

Roy is trembling

Noooooooooooo

Stay down for once in a while

Larry ?

One day, when the kids are out of the house,

you and me, we're going to this place

I feel bad about the way we handled things with Sierra

- Were we right not to trust her ?
- I think so, I mean...

- she is a teenager
- I know

- Let's at least go in and tell her we still love her
- Good idea

Sierra, can we talk to you ?

Sierra come on, we gotta talk about what happened today

Honey, are you okay ?

Hunter, what are you doing in Sierra's bed ?

She said if I didn't pretend to be here, she'd k*ll Santa

- Don't worry buddy, there's no Santa
- What ?

Hunter, I'm not gonna ask you again... Where is Sierra ?

- I don't know where she went
- Honey, come on, where did your sister go ?

Doozledorf, the powerhouse of industrial Germany

Hunter come on, I helped you with that geography report

So you wanna play hard ball !

Well, what's this ? Oh water !

As I recall little kittycats don't like water

I don't know where she is

And I've cracked all the nuts in you Mister

Oh I'm hit ! Oh !

Officer down !

- Maybe she went to the rave
- The rave ?

I heard some older kids talking about it

I didn't know there was a rave scene in our community

Oh yeah ! They throw down once a month. You see all the craziest kids here

What up Bro

It's cool Ping-Pong they're with me

Good luck guys ! Oh, and if you need to chill

check out the Moroccan room ! Catnip !

Sierra !

Hey baby

It's gonna be tough to find her in here

Just stay right behind me

Oh yeah ! I'm on fire !

Sierra !

Hey party people, what comes before Part B ?

Part AAAAAAAAAA

Burnin' ahhh !

Excuse me, I'm looking for my daughter

- Do any of you go to school with my daughter ?
- No !

Sweetheart it's ok, we love you

I love you too daddy

I don't wanna live with mum anymore

Okay !

I love you speaker

Uhhh... I'm going home now, sorry to interrupt

Oh, and if any of you touch my daughter

I'll pull out your intestin then eat them while you watch

Have fun everybody

She's not here let's go !

Congratulations, I crown you Miss most likely to make out with me

Henry Davis ? I'm in a book club with your mother !

Ouhhh ! ABORT ABORT ABORT ABORT !

Hey, you just gave away my nip necklace

That was quality Molch man

Dude she's hot

like totally went all the way with her

Sweet

Ah fool anlagen I must find the formula to fix the machine

Yeah... Time's to absolute walue sirup

minus the cosine of Cola !

I failed to factorise the old beer

- Perhaps we should just get sloppies !
- Nein ! Ve didn't come all this vay to slurp

Ve came to Gulp ! Now leave me to my vork

Lizzy I'm sorry, you are a good dancer, I was laughing at something else

Look, can we talk later ? I'm not supposed to be on the phone at work !

Honey no !

I can't believe she broke up with me

Then do not believe it, and it vill not be !

Go... go to her now, and tell her that she is a rainy day

- What ?
- Yes, she is a rainy day that waters the flowers of your soul !

- Out !
- But my shift isn't up for two hours

- Roy is shifting now !
- You don't even know how to work to register

- Is it impossible ?
- No

That is a shame, for Ziegfried and Roy are masters of the impossible

Now go, go to your Lizzy with the two left feet

It's already morning, where is she ?

This is our fault, she ran away because we didn't trust her

God I'm exhausted and I'm starving

Have one of these

Sierra thank God you're alright, where have you been ?

- Yeah you know we se...
- Your father and I are very upset with you

- That's absolutely right, and you...
- You are going to learn a whole new meaning for the word punishment

- You got that right, when I was...
- When I was your age I would have never done something like this !

Kate, let me shout something, you're taking all the good stuff

Where have you been ? And don't say the rave, because we were there

Why should I tell you, you wouldn't believe me anyway

Hold it young lady, you're not going anywhere until you tell us where you've been all night

- I was with Dean, my new boyfriend okay ?
- New boyfriend ?

Yeah, you know I didn't want to tell you about him because...

he's a little older...

and he has a kid !

Can we go back to when you were maybe on drugs ?

Nothing happened, you guys were just so hainous for not believing me, I needed to talk to someone

Well that's not acceptable, your father and I were very very furied about you

Hey Larry check it out, I just said furied

Furied, that's awesome !

Who are you ?

Are you guys okay ?

Weren't you glad I didn't say banana ?

- I don't get it
- Me neither !

Oh my god, have you guys lost your minds ?

Larry, can I talk to you ?

- I feel funny !
- Me too... You know I haven't felt this way since...

Oh my god, it just hit me, there must have been nip in those sausages !

Oh, what are we gonna do ?

Oh my god, it just hit me, there must have been nip in those sausages !

You must be Sierra, I'm Misses Falvy from the gifted and talented program

- Are you ready for your evaluation ?
- Hey I know you !

Copper kettle, cooopper kettle, coppeeeeeer kettle

So anyway you want us to rassure to get all stopped out to fire

and we got the hack out of there

That's fascinating but I asked if you had any other children

Right

Kate you wanna fill this one ?

Awesome !

I have a brother named Hunter. Mum, dad, why don't you go get us something to drink ?

They're not morning people

I think we're doing really well

Yeah but I don't know how much longer I can be cool

But we got to hold it together for Sierraaaaa

oooooh my god Kate, you gotta try thaaaaat

I... I love History, my term paper was about the role of Lions in early Christianity

...and Science, I like Science !

Excuse me for one second

What the hell is going...

Holy crap ! Are these nip sausages ?

After all the speeches and the judgments, how could you guys be such hypocrits ?

Drugs are bad !

Look, I can't deal with this right now. Ok ?

Just stay in here and don't blow this for me

- Are your parents alright ?
- Uh... Yeah... Oh yeah they're great

They're so great they want to challenge me and have me finish this interview by myself

That's them ! Always encouraging my independance,

promoting curiosity, challenging me intellectually

You're like this giant donut !

Push me faster, I wanna go back in time !

Well I think I've seen enough here

Thank you for a very interesting visit

Larry go get this !

Tumble out of bed und stumble to the kitchen

Pour myzelf a cup of ambition

Young and stretchen, try to come to life !

Hallo customer, how are you doing today ? Terrific !

Gum ! Vould you like some Vienna sausage vith that, Rick ?

- My name is not Rick
- Mmmmm, now it is

- It is done !
- Ziegfried, you are a genius !

Tell me something not known to myself

Roy, Roy... Thank you Roy

You saved my life. I found Lizzy, we made up

- and we just got married
- Congratulations !

A hoe but you'll have to slurpy and I'll free.

Und now ve are going to have the drink of the magical fairies : Sprite !

How did you do all of this ?

Well, I use the Freon from the cooling tank to create the fog

- then for the laser, I adjust...
- No no no...

- Just say it was magic !
- It was magic !

Jaaaaaaaaaa

We ruined our daughter's life

Thanks honey

- Sierra, we are so... so sorry
- Whatever !

Okay, to be fair we did find catnip in your room

For the last time that wasn't mine

Ahhh, what a night ! Mouth of a lion

not much of a looker but worth that far the breakfast

Hey, where's my vase ?

You vase ?

Yeah the green one with the butterflies painted on it.

And catnip statshed in the bottom

That's the one !

I'm gonna need that back. Not the vase so much

The catnip was yours ?

I got blame for that !

Tough break kid, don't do drugs, stay in school !

That's it ? Dad we just blew her chance to get into the artist program

- I mean what kind of example are you setting ?
- Him ? What about you ?

I told you all along that it wasn't my nip, and you didn't believe me

You're right

None of this would have happened if we just trusted you

Yeah, just because we were a little wild as kids doesn't mean you'll be

- From now on Sierra we trust you completely
- Excellent

because Dean is taking me camping this weekend

Don't worry we'll each have our own sleeping bag

plus his bringing his kid, so nothing's gonna happen

That's great sweetheart

Daughters, I feel for you

Seriously, where did you put my nip ?

Anyway here, your grades and splendid and I've always been impressed with you

but to be honest, I was inclined to reject you because of yesterday's reprehensible display

By the way, sweet deal on that pass !

But after some reflexion, I reconsidered and decided to accept you, after all.

Woooow Yeah ! You have really made the...

- No, no, no I just...
- I wish you all the best

Thanks for everything Martha, you're a peach

- This morning's eggs...
- My pleasure

I think I speak for everyone when I say

Eek

Happiness is being the grandparent

Nothing refresh you better than an icy cold 7/11 Big Gulp

unless...

that Big Gulp is teened up with one of our fresh delicious 7/11 chilly dog

- I vant the "Mmmmmmm"
- Me too...

- Thunder ! Lightning !

- Dah... they're in the shop
- Agh, ja

Dole ! Justin !