03x03 - Episode 3

[bunniefuu]

What is this? Auditions today.

It's like the X Factor, innit?

♪ Strutting her stuff on the street

♪ There is a magical feeling... ♪

Someone's been hiding their light

under a bushel. Yeah, she's not bad.

♪ I'll steal your heart tonight... ♪

Do you think I
would put any of you at risk?

I don't know any more.

What is it? A bit of revenge?

This is Jasmine.

Koreshi. Koreshi. Our rookie.

I feel totally out of my depth.

As jumpy as a box of frogs.

You should have a higher opinion
of yourself. You're great.

A girls' football team, you say?

Yes, we're in the squad.

To raise money for the strips.
Kits and boots and that.

£2 a ticket? A bit pricey, isn't it?

We're only doing 100. The prize
is dead good. A week in Marbella.

I don't usually do raffles.

I gave up on lottery years back.
Never won a penny.

The lottery is for mugs. You've got
a chance of winning this.

Yeah, get a few tickets,
you're bound to win.

I dunno.

The draw's at lunchtime.
Mr Rimmer's doing it.

It's your last chance,
we won't be down this street again.

Go on, I'll have five tickets.

I'll just get me purse.

No way!

I'm up to 23 now. What?

Things I could be doing if I
wasn't sitting here with you.

You think these sessions
are a waste of your time.

I have got over 500 kids
to look after and educate.

If I wasn't fit, I couldn't do it.

And having to go back to
the same place every day.

Why do you blame yourself?

Because I just piled in.

I didn't stop.

I didn't know he had a knife.

And now there's no Izzy.

Because of me.

After dragging me to
these psycho sessions,

me spilling me guts to Nurse Ratched,

you are going to bail on me.

It's only a course.

You know, I don't have to go
if you need me here.

No. It would be good for your
continued professional development.

Could do it next year. You're going.

End of.

Why does it have to be
a flaming residential course?

Two nights... I'll call you.

Every five minutes. You better.

Especially since I have planned
a rather special weekend away.

Now that is definitely worth coming
home for. Five star, all the way.

No expense spared.
I've never been to Paris.

OK.

I'm away then.

♪ I've had enough of this parade

♪ I'm thinking of
the words to say... ♪

There's 200 quid in there.

That's nearly 500 in all.

Do you think they'll check?

Who's gonna check to see
if they have won a raffle?

WHISTLE BLOWS

Right, OK, girls.

We'll see you at lunchtime.

No excuses.

I see this lot have been busy
fund-raising for the team.

Janeece tells me they have
washed over 100 cars. Still...

they could have spent the time getting more
prepared for tonight. There's always lunchtime, eh?

Look, the budget's been a
nightmare this year. You know that.

Anyway, it will be good for them.
Show a bit of initiative.

Maybe you could flog that
bravery award they gave you.

Like the '66 World Cup squad,
might get a few quid for that.

Good practice?

Yeah, it was all right.

Listen, babes,
I ain't coming in today.

Donte,
you can't just go bunking off.

Look, it's for a good cause, yeah?

I'll text ya. Tom's gonna go mad.

Let him.

Donte!

I so want this part.

Look... You need to chill out.

If you get too nervous, your vocal cords constrict
and you could actually damage your voice.

Thanks for the advice.

But if you were up for lead,
you wouldn't bat an eyelid.

No. Go for it then.

I've missed the auditions now.

Oh, too scared? No. If I want
the part, then I will go get it.

OK.

OK, I will.
I'll talk to Wilding at break.

Donte still maximising
his educational potential?

I don't know what he's up to. He
could have a girlfriend, for all I know.

Are you up for conjugating a few
more French verbs after the match?

Should we just leave it?

What, after one lesson?

Yeah, I don't know...
Just do it, Clo.

OK.

When she arrives,
I'm gonna be busy all morning.

So, what's this advisor
poking her nose in for?

School improvements?

She wants to know how we are spending
our Excellence In Cities funding.

So, how ARE we spending it?

It was all sorted out
before you came here.

But it is really helping our
Gifted and Talented programme.

Listen, Eddie, I would really appreciate it if
you could keep an eye on things this morning.

Jack? Is there anything
I can do to lighten your load?

You're teaching... all morning.

Yes.

Hiya, Bridget. Hi.

Is she here yet?
No, I don't think so.

Listen, if she asks you
about the new intake,

you could just say it was
all sorted out before you got here.

♪ Where'd your sense of adventure go?

♪ You sit at home
with dinner on a tray

♪ The world is outside... ♪

Morning.

Morning.

I can see why Jack wants to lock
himself away all day, jammy sod!

Oh, put your tongue away, Eddie.

You look like Schnorbitz.

♪ She said we could do anything

♪ We can do anything

♪ Ohhhhh-ohhh

♪ Open your eyes
The world is outside... ♪

ALL CHANT:

♪ Who are ya? Who are ya? ♪

Coming to watch us
play tonight, Miss?

Not if you don't stop your noise.
See you, Jimmy!

ALL CHANT:

♪ Who are ya? Who are ya? ♪

Sit down! I said sit down now!

Who are ya? Who are ya?

Right, you, outside.

What have I done? Now!

What, for saying "Who are ya"?

ALL CHANT:

♪ Who are ya? Who are ya?
Who are ya? Who are ya? ♪

Right, all of you,

after-school detention. 3:15pm today.

Can't...

You've got to give us


That rule only applies to years 7 to 11. I
can detain sixth-formers whenever I want.

We've got a football match
after school.

That's another school rule
you're not aware of.

Detentions take precedence
over sports fixtures.

Nice. Yeah, really nice.

I think the wife is really
going to like this place.

Comfy.

So, what's the damage?

£470 per calendar month
and two months deposit.

Minimum rent - 12 months.

Right.

You know this wallpaper?
It's minging.

You got anything else?

I thought advisor's jobs usually went to burnt-out
heads on the edge of retirement, not, um...

I'm part of a new group of advisors,

attached to the EIC Action Zone.

I thought they were
cutting back on the pen...?

I'm a bit more than
a pen pusher, Jack.

An LEA budget of 1.2 million,
co-ordinating school improvement

across the county. Great, yeah.

Listen, all power to you.
Don't listen to me.

Cynicism is my default setting.

I'm really excited about your Gifted and Talented
programme and I'd like to look at the plans for it.

Maybe look later at the funding.

Sure. Why don't I get Bridget to get us some
more coffee or is it a tea you're after?

I'm actually fine. Yeah. Bridget?

BELL RINGS

They were wild. And I'd
forgotten about the football match.

Have a word with Tom and explain
what happened, see what he says.

Look, we'll sort it but you need

to face the music with him.

Er, Tom, do you have a sec?

Bad lesson?

I've put half of your
football team in detention. Tonight.

But you can't have, we're
playing tonight. I'm so sorry, Tom.

What did they do? String you up?

I just lost it. Well, obviously!

This is Waterloo Road's first
ever girls' football match.

They're not missing out because
you can't control your class.

She's an NQT.

- Stands for newly-qualified target. They're not doing her detention.
- I can't squash her, Tom.

I don't care. They're not doing it.

OK. I'll tell her
we'll postpone it.

We can do it tomorrow, say it was her idea.
We've gotta keep an eye on her, you know.

Well, if she can't hack it, she
shouldn't be in the job, should she?

She needs to connect with the
kids outside the classroom.

I agree. She couldn't help you out
with the football, could she?

Run the line, bring a
cold sponge, whatever.

Does she know the offside rule?

I'll try and square it with her.

Shouldn't you be teaching?

First rule of teaching -
get there before they do.

MOBILE BLEEPS

What's Donte up to now?

Tell you what,
the surprise better be good.

HUBBUB

How come we're not allowed
to be late but teachers are?

Bags on the floor and books out.

Not listening, Miss.

I said, bags on the floor
and books out! Now!

You're gonna have to shout louder
than that. Like this.

SHUT UP!

SILENCE

LAUGHTER

You can't let him
get away with that!

Send him out, Miss!

I need to go.

Jasmine?

Jasmine?!

What's this shouting?

It's Miss Koreshi, Sir.
She's just done one.

LAUGHTER

Smiley, take this to Mr Rimmer and
asked Mrs Morley to send a cover

teacher to Miss Koreshi's room.

Yes, I know, Jack, but you haven't appointed any
learning mentors so where's the money gone...

KNOCK AT DOOR

Sorry, from Mr Lawson.

Couldn't give us two minutes,
could you?

Having a bad day?

It can't be that bad, can it?

Oi! Get away!

I can't do this job.

That's nonsense. I've heard
from loads how well you're doing.

We all need a bit of help sometimes.
But the children hate me.

Don't talk daft. And because of me, they'll be
playing tonight's game with only five players.

You can sort that, don't worry. I'll see
'em and tell 'em you've postponed detention.

They'll all know that I can't do

my job. And they'll still hate me.

Give yourself a break,
you've only been here two minutes.

The Government long ago decided
in its infinite wisdom that all

year 9 pupils have to sit these.

Personally, I think it's a
monumental waste of time.

Have you seen Miss Koreshi? Jasmine?

We've had a bit of a shouting match.

She's down there with Mr Lawson.

DON'T... even think about it. Sit!

But every day...

But every day, I'm petrified
walking through those gates.

It goes, honest.

I'm sorry. I know I've mucked up but
I've just got to get out of here.

You don't want to waste all
that good college education.

I could always teach adults.

Wears the buzz in that?

I don't want the buzz.

I just want to be happy in my job, relaxed and just
now I'm treating the kids like they're my enemies.

I didn't mention our proposition.

Listen, I'm sorry I went off on one earlier.
But I should have been more understanding.

Why don't you come and help out
with the football tonight?

A great chance to build bridges.

BELL RINGS

Perfect timing. Let's get
a cup of tea. Eh? Come on.

Hi, Mika.

Oh, are you all set for lunch time?

I'm dead nervous.

I've got you a potential...

I can speak for myself. I was
wondering if I could try out for the lead.

That's if you haven't already cast?

Yes, sure. Come along.
Let's have a look at you.

Great.
Well, I'll see you at lunchtime.

Thank God for that!

He's signed up for Jamie, finally.

We don't even know
if he can sing yet.

Where the hell have you been?
How's she?

She's fine.
Me and Tom talked her round.

What happened? Janeece and co gave her the treatment
this morning. I'll be having a chat with them, later.

Everything OK with the adviser?
Yeah, yeah. She's... She's not...

Anyway, I best get back.

♪ Come into my house

♪ You're invited into my house

♪ Entering the back of my house

♪ Welcoming you into my house

♪ Come into my house

♪ You're invited into my house

♪ Entering the back of my house

♪ Welcoming you into my house... ♪

I mean, stopping us from
playing our very first big game...

I bet they want the other school
to win. Oh come on, you two!

I'm sure Miss Koreshi only
did what she thought was best.

It's not easy being a teacher,
you know. Especially a new one.

BELL RINGS

Everyone, back to their seats.

Move it! What, we're not allowed

to have our lunch now either?

You want us to
flaming starve an' all?

Quiet!

Ah, that's better. Right.

Here's the deal.

You've got to give something
back to me and Miss Koreshi.

HUBBUB

You make sure you win tonight.

Miss Koreshi has very generously
decided to postpone detention.

♪ Who are ya? Who are ya?
Who are ya? Who are ya? ♪

I'm right next door if you need me.

Thanks, Tom. I really appreciate it.

You're doing me a favour.

Daah!

Donte, if you don't tell me
what's going on...

Face forward. What?

Face forward and close your eyes.

Everybody decent? Yes.

Our new assistant coach,
Miss Koreshi.

Gather round.

She's only trying to get
into Clarkson's shorts.

I can think of worse things.
Jade, come this side.

Right, tactics. We're going to play a 4-5-1 formation
with Maxine upfront waiting for a lucky ball.

Why do you want us
to play like losers?

Mountview Girls were last year's
winners. I don't us to get thrashed.

What's the point in training and raising the
money for kits if we're not out there to win?

Janeece is right, Mr Clarkson.

No, sir, I think you're right.

GIGGLING

I'm sorry, Mr Clarkson, but unless

we can count on really good supply,

I don't think Maxine'll
see much of the ball.

OK, we'll give it a go. Let's get on
the pitch and see what you can do.

Sir, me and Max need to
go and pick the kits up.

We're free next period. Great.
Well, you've raised the money.

I'll have a word with Mr Lawson.

You can go after this.
Er, where's Chlo?

Where is she?

Right, just to let you know what
you're letting yourselves in for.

Rehearsals at breaks,
after school, weekends.

We'll be up to our eyes in it
and we expect the same from you.

Yeah. We're going to be looking for passion,
commitment, dedication, hard work...

Tautology. Tautology.

Right. Are we up for it? Yeah.

Good, OK. Right, the part of Jamie,

we've only had one person
express an interest - Brett.

Well, I guess it's me then.

[We don't even know if he can sing.]

[We know he can talk.]

Brett, would you give us a few
bars of something, d'you reckon?

Sure.

♪ Oh, watching the people get lairy

♪ It's not very pretty, I tell thee

♪ Walking through town
is quite scary

♪ Not very sensible either... ♪

OK, OK.

APPLAUSE

Problem solved.

OK, right. Mika and Aleesha.

Up you get.

- Enough time for that later, thank
you. Actually, Brett, - we need you too.

Girls, I want you
to sing to Jamie, OK?

What I'm looking for is chemistry.

Right, Aleesha,
do you want to go first?

Sir, I was thinking of playing
Shannon like Roxy in Chicago.

I'd rather you stuck to playing it
like Aleesha from Waterloo Road.

That Maxine is the only one
with any skill whatsoever.

If we had another ten of her...

Flaming hell!

It's only practice, so on you go.

Go on. Whoa, whoa, whoa!

What you doing?
Go on, straight ahead.

Right, stop.

Come on. This way, babe.

Come on. Come on.

Stop.

What's all our stuff doing here?

I've moved us in.
It's our new flat, babes.

Ain't it the business?
Donte, we can't afford it.

It's all right. I've paid the
deposit and the first month's rent.

How? Well, I took the
money from our account.

But that was wedding present money.

Yeah, I'll get more.
I've got a job now as well.

Doing what?

Some waiting gig. Start tonight.
A flat? A job?

You're doing my head in.

Something like this is...

You should've asked me.

Hey, what's to decide?

We're married now, right?

So, we've gotta have our own place.

Yes, someday, but...

Besides, it's a bit...

Yeah, I know, all right.

I'll paint it. It'll be great.

Look, babe, I don't want to spend the next ten
years banged up with Clarkson and your sister.

And tonight is gonna be
our first night alone.

Come on, I'll show you the rest.

Aleesha's probably
got the best voice.

Oh, come on, Matt,
there's not a lot in it.

Mika's worked really hard for this
part. She deserves it, poor kid.

Don't tell me we're not gonna have
major problems with that one.

You can't cast someone based on
whether you like them or not.

OK. You're the boss.

But it's Mika and Brett for me.

Right. We've come to our decision.

It's not been an easy one.

The role of Shannon is
going to be played by...

SHE MIMICS A DRUM ROLL

Mika!

APPLAUSE

Come on! What?

Well, we decided, didn't we, that we would go
for the natural chemistry of Mika and Brett.

Aleesha, you gave a great performance and you
can have your pick of all the other parts.

This is all a fix.

Excuse me, love.

You'd be great as the girl-g*ng
leader, wouldn't she, Mr Wilding?

I don't want to be the
stupid girl-g*ng leader.

Oh, come on, Aleesha! It's a role
you could really get your teeth into, eh?

She's bossy, good looking,
gets all the lads.

But she doesn't get THE lad.
Shannon gets Brett.

Look, there must be
some other role...

Aleesha... you've got
a fabulous voice, OK?

We're going to need you in the chorus
cos you will carry everyone else.

If I've got such a fabulous voice,
then why didn't I get the part?

Can I go now?

Just think about it, Aleesha, OK?

She needs a good slapping, her.
She is the best singer we've got.

Had.

Yes, but Mika and Brett
have got the X factor.

It's a flaming school production,
Steph!

If they get through the dance routines without
falling on their faces, we'll be lucky!

All right! Well, if I'm such
a hindrance, just let me know.

Look... I'm sorry, OK?

But next time, I make the
final decisions. All right?

Smack bottom.

They said the raffle was at lunchtime
and Mr Rimmer were drawing it himself.

Mrs Hall, we haven't organised a
raffle. Look, give us your number.

I'll make a few enquiries.

I bought five tickets. I'm going
nowhere till I speak to Mr Rimmer.

Mr Rimmer's in a meeting. All day.

I'll wait.

I'd still like to see a breakdown
of where the money's going.

KNOCK AT DOOR

I need you for two secs, Jack.
Sorry.

Not a problem. No.

We're in trouble.

Looks like the football lot
have been ripping off the locals.

They've been selling tickets for
a prize draw. There's no raffle!

Aw, Janeece?

Aw, they're mint. How much?

Us two could get a pair each,
there's money left. That's tight.

Aw, what about the others? We've done all
the grafting, knocking on doors and that.

No, yeah, if it won't for us they
wouldn't have no strips or boots.

No.

Because we're worth it!

Come here.

Nice.

Cheers. Still got 12.50 left - that'll be enough
for a few bottles of cider for after the match.

Aw, buzzing. Who are you?
Who are you? Who are you?

Like I said, Mrs Hall, all fundraising
events have to be OK'd by me.

This one wasn't, but we've
a pretty good idea of who they are.

They won't pull a stunt like
this again, don't worry.

My husband thought it were strange
when he saw tickets.

Yeah, well, they're not quite as clever as they
think they are, are they? I'm gutted, Mr Rimmer.

I even bought him a pair of trunks.

Well, we just felt lucky, you know?

Well, leave it with us. Like Mr Rimmer
said, they're going to be severely punished.

I'd hate for the school's
reputation to be damaged.

Well, it'd take a bit more than a few
kids on the rob to do that, Mrs Hall.

Tom flaming Clarkson.

To what do I owe the pleasure?

Your kids have been caught ripping off the locals.
Do you know anything about a week in Marbella?

What you on about?

Some kids have been
organising a raffle.

Top prize, a week in Marbella - all
proceeds go to the school kit fund.

Nothing to do with me.

It's your team.

It could be any one of 500 kids.

The description
of one of them sounds

a lot like Janeece Bryant - about
this high, big hair, cheeky face.

I want Janeece and Maxine in here now.
I'm going to hang them up by the thumbs.

We've got a match this afternoon. Janeece
and Max have got to pick the kit up.

Even if it was them, they've worked
their backsides off for this match.

I can't have kids on the estate
conning residents.

You need to back off.

All right. We'll wait till the match is
over then we'll see who's behind this mess.

I'll have a chat with Tom,
all right, man to man, like.

Babes, we're going to need
our own space.

And anyway, I've already
paid out now, so...

Come on.

Listen, I'm sorry about
abandoning you back there.

No, gave me a chance
to get a good look at

your school development plan.

Did you see anything you liked? A more formal
structure to the planning would be nice.

I'm not one for rigid formality.

I'd never have guessed. That's a big chunk
of public money you've got there, Jack.

Send me your school evaluation
form, then we'll talk again.

Why now? Everything's OK, isn't it?
We just want to be on our own.

Keep it down. We've made our
decision, haven't we, Chlo?

Look, can we talk about it tonight?
We can sort something out.

You see? He's not even listening. I am. Look,
I'll make sure you get your own space. Privacy.

I promise. It'll be fine, Tom.

See you later, yeah?

Why are you still out of your seat?

DOOR SLAMS

She didn't ask about
the dedicated school grant?

No. I don't know why we have to have
her nosing around the place, anyway.

KNOCK AT DOOR

So, how's it gone with the lovely
Ria? Great, great. She really likes

what we're doing with the G&T kids.

Right. Good. So what did she say?

That she likes what we're doing.

Look, I've got a ton of paperwork to
get through, can we catch up later?

Yeah.

Why have I got a 3? That's your IQ.

Get lost.

Eh, show them the cider.

Here y'are, y'are. For after!

Quick, quick, she's coming.

So studs down the back of the leg's a good one and
threaten to kick their heads in after, they'll sh..

What? And have Waterloo Road
called a bunch of cheats?

Look, there's no shame in getting
beat, as long as you've tried.

Just enjoy. Yeah, then when
we do lose we'll just feel..

- KNOCK AT DOOR
- It's all right, they're decent.

Ey! Impressive!

But remember, you have got to do
more than just look like a team.

Stay in formation, yes?

We've seen the opposition.
They're fit and hungry.

But we stick to our game plan - man
mark and fight for every loose ball.

Play firm, but fair.

Come on. Let's go, Waterloo Road!

Come on!

Chlo, if moving out's what
you want, love, I'm happy for you.

Family stuff.

Listen, I didn't say anything, but it looks like
the girls could've nicked the money for the kit.

Playing well. Come on, girls.
Come on, girls.

Come on, Max.

Who's calling?

I am.

Why don't you chuck in the towel and
save yourself the embarrassment?

Don't know what
you're talking about.

Ah, confident. Eh, how
about a little side bet, yeah?

Make things a bit more interesting.



Yeah, I stump up if your lot
win and you stump up if...

when, Mountview win. You're on.

Come on, Waterloo Road!
Come on, Waterloo Road!

Come on, we can do this.

Pass the ball!

SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

Come out to her!

Oi, Grantly!

What do you think you're playing at?

Just being sporting.

Come on, Waterloo Road.

Hi, it's just me.

Missing you, that's all.

Give us a call when you can, yeah?

That nearly had my head off.
I wish it had, you useless...

Mrs Hall!

These are looking for Mr Rimmer.

I think he went inside to make
a phone call. Can I help?

We'll speak to the organ grinder.
Is there a problem?

We've been ripped off by your kids,
course there's a flaming problem.

That's one of them. That's one of
the little beggars, there, look.

Yeah, she came to our house, yeah.

Go talk to her then.

Janeece, we're in big trouble.
Yeah, we're 2-0 down. No, look.

Oh, we're dead.

No, let's go inside.

ALL TALK OVER EACH OTHER

Eh, come on. We all bought those
raffle tickets in good faith.

It's GMTV all over again.

Naturally, there will
be an investigation.

And rest assured, when I get to the
bottom of it, you will all get a refund.

We don't want refunds, Mr Rimmer.

We want our raffle.
There isn't a raffle.

Yeah, but we were told there were.

Do you want done for fraud?

How does a weekend in Paris grab you?

THEY MURMUR APPROVINGLY

Rimmer's gonna go off on one.
Big time.

What you doing?

Nothing. Janeece, come on.
What about the match?

We're never going to win.

OK, I won't say it was
a fantastic performance.

But the commitment was there.

Where the hell are
Janeece and Maxine?

Right, here we go.

One of you lucky people
is going to the city of love.

Mr Lawson, would you like
to draw the prize winner?

Mika, I know you can't play.

But we're down to nine men,
I need you to help me out.

No way. I'd be a joke.

Ask someone else. Who?

I'll do it.

What? 23-year-old schoolgirl, right.

Well, if you get caught,
we're out the league.

Well, it's a good job I've got my
mum's youthful complexion, then, eh?

Show 'em what you've got, girls.

Tom should have known better than to
let that bunch loose, raising cash.

He knows what they're like.

What happens when word gets out to
all the other folk who bought

bogus tickets whose numbers never
made it to the prize draw?

You rig another one? Look, Eddie.

We've seen off the big gobs.

All we need to do now is find
the little sods responsible.

I just hope you've got a big, fat
contingency fund in that budget of yours.

I think you might need it.

♪ City freeze, I've just realised
I don't like you

♪ Me and my girl

♪ Are going out for some air

♪ And I will do my best
To just get under her dress

♪ And catch you out if I can

♪ On the other side of the sofa

♪ Oh, won't you come on over?

♪ Oh, the other side of my sofa.

♪ Won't you come on over? ♪

WHISTLE BLOWS

Oi, referee! Penalty!

Penalty! Penalty!

You can do it.

Come on, Chlo. Come on, Chlo!

Go on, babe!

Come on, babe.

THEY CHEER

You beauty!

Almost had the money
in your hand there, Grantly.

Nerves of steel, our Chlo.

My recollection is
you said you'd win.

I could always tell the ref that
your star player is on the staff.

They'd only made it as far as
Nelson Road.

Have you lot got nothing up top?

By nicking that money, you've binned this school's
rep and made me look like a complete joke.

Well, you can get rid
of this kit for starters.

Hold on. They need new kit.

Do you really think I'd let this lot
represent the school again?

And these two won't see the light of
day at lunchtime for another month.

Why are you wearing...?

You can't hold the whole team responsible. Look,
Chlo and the others had nothing to do with it.

It's called collective
responsibility - hard lesson.

OK, what they did was wrong. It was
criminal. And you let them do it.

If you'd have given them the money
they'd have never have done it.

Oh, change the record.
I've had to make savings all round.

You still found enough money for
your publicity stunts though, haven't you!

Hey? Putting on a musical. As long as the
great Jack Rimmer gets the headlines that's OK.

Sod everybody else! I do it for the kids
and staff. I'm way down the list, mate.

It's about feeding your ego.

Why don't you just say it? Say it!

You blame me for Izzy.

Don't...

Don't you dare mention her name.

Do you think I don't blame myself,
every night and every day?

If it wasn't for me she'd still be
here - is that what you want to hear?

'You have one new message.'

Hiya, it's only me.

I'll call you later.

You OK? Hey, Tom... Eh?

Cheer up. Least we drew.

We cheated.

I mean, what was I doing?

They're taking money off old ladies and all
I can think about is Jack flaming Rimmer.

Listen, it's not your fault,
you were great out there.

Bet not one of the little sods has said
thanks. Oh, I'm not bothered about that.

They did really well.

Listen, I'm going to go.

The girls really respect you.

It'd be a shame if you couldn't
keep the team together.

Yeah? Well...

GIRLS CHANT:

Where are you? Where are you?

THEY CHEER

One Miss Koreshi,
there's only one Miss Koreshi!

One Miss Koreshi!

There's only one Miss Koreshi!

Did you see my penalty?

Awesome. Has Donte gone?

I think the maitre d' from the
all you can eat buffet called.

And Mika's in with Mr Wilding.

Voice techniques - "confidence,
clarity, conviction", so...

Let's go.

Matt, wait up.

Jack has just given the football
lot a right bollocking. Brilliant.

So from now on, it's teamwork for us as well, which is
why you and I have got to get a bit closer socially.

Now, I won't take no for an answer - my place
tonight for a little penne with smoked salmon?

I can't tonight, Steph. Sorry.

Jack, I'm sorry. I thought
I'd taught Maxine better by now.

And just as we thought we
had something to celebrate!

I'm going for a drink if you fancy?
One of those days, eh?

OK, twist my arm.

Which service station
did these come from then?

We're going to chuck all the stuff
we don't like in a cupboard.

Will there be anything left?
I thought we were here to do French?

Je suis sur que vous serez tres
heureuse dans ce bel appartement.

Erm, I am sure that this flat is...

What did you say?

I am sure that you'll be very
happy in this beautiful apartment.

Stop taking the mick.

En Francais?

Arretez de prendre la mick.

I'm never going to get half as
good as you. No, nowhere near.

Well, what's t' point, then?

Half as good as me is still
a remarkable achievement.

You love yourself.

Sorry.

Brett.

If it's antibiotics you're on,
they'll stop working.

Couple won't do any harm.

Now, Tom, I get. But Eddie, he's
really beginning to grate, y'know?

I just want him to look after the
detail. Leave the big stuff to me.

Well, every time I see him
he just gives me more paperwork.

- I don't mind a telling off from you, but not from him.
- He's just got here.

I can almost hear myself saying
"Come back, Andrew Treneman".

I don't think so.

No. I'm not that sad.

You're not remotely sad.

Do you think I'm cut out
for this job, Steph?

Um, well, y'know you've
had your moments.

Yeah.

You were born to do it.

It would take 100 grand a year
and George Clooney as my deputy

for me to do what you do.

Eddie Lawson not do you?

Another?

Oh, go on, then. Twist my other arm.

Large vodka please and a red wine.

Well, you'd better make that
a large red wine an' all then.

To Steph.
She's really doing my head in.

I can't wait to meet her.
You're going to have to tell her.

No way. Private life.
Professional life.

You are such a stiff. What?

You don't have to work with her.

"Come back to mine for some
penne with smoked salmon."

Oh, my God. What have we done?

Come on, let's get up.
It'll be like it never happened.

I can't believe I've done this
to Donte.

We just got carried away.

If this gets out...
It's not going to.

No-one will find out, I promise.

Maybe we should forget
about the extra tuition.

You see, the thing is, Jack, is that you
are cleverer than Eddie, and he's jealous.

You think?

Oh, yeah. I mean it's Alpha male

syndrome, isn't it?

You are one, he wants to be one.

So, how's it going
with you and Davina?

Couldn't be better.

It's good isn't it, that,
well, that we've moved on.

Sure you don't want anything?
No, no, I'm cool.

You're too quiet. What's up?

I don't think I should
tutor Chlo any more.

Why not? I've got a lot
on myself and she's just...

You know...

..Not interested. And, frankly,
she lacks the ability...

You know, linguistic flair - zero.

She needs pushing,
she always has but Chlo's smart.

How long do you think before the
pitter-patter of tiny little Dontes are heard?

You don't know what
you're talking about.

Chlo'll be pram-pushing within a year -
it's a complete and utter waste of my time.

Fine. Don't do it.

Anything in the fridge?

You go and sit down,
I'll make you a butty.

Oh, and a beer, thanks.

It's just something they've
got to do. Chlo. She'll be back.

I hope so, love.

Chlo, I'm home.

Hey!

C'mon, babe.

What's the matter? Look we'll
have this place sorted, yeah?

It'll be mint.

You'll get to see Mika every day.

Let's just give it a go, yeah?

I love you, Donte.

Yeah, I know.

No, really. I really love you.

You have no idea of the pressure
I am under.

D'you know what you need, hey? You
need a nice hot bath and a massage.

Davina's away.

Mmm.

Anyway, I'm going to get a cab.

Can I give you a lift? Oh, come on,
let's have a walk, take our chances.

Get a fresh of breath air.

THEY LAUGH

Shall we, Miss Haydock?
Why, thank you, Headmaster.

Ooh, you're such a gentleman.

I'm not a gentleman.

Supposed to be for Jack.

But I thought he was seeing...

'Everyone knows Davina can't
give him what he needs.'

You're up to something.
What makes you say that?

You've got so much to give, Chlo -
you've just got to believe in yourself.

It's about Brett, innit?

What do you mean? If you're unable
to have a sensible discussion...

If you've put my son at risk, I
will sue you and the sodding school!