03x19 - Episode 19

[bunniefuu]

What will you do? I'm going
to take some time out of education,

I'm getting out with my pride
just about intact.

"My dear Stephanie,
I can confirm that my organisation"

"is considering your project for
a substantial cash sum."

Monsieur Legard. So he does exist?

He's coming over in a fortnight.

Another bad habit
you're not kicking?

Me and Steph, it was nothing.

It was one night of "nothing"
that has ended us, Jack.

Me and you, huh?

I can't do this.

You don't have to say anything else.
Another time, another place, eh?

Something like that, yeah.

Ah, the very man.

I need someone to be Davina's mentor

on next year's teacher
training programme.

Do you think I'm right
for the job?

To be frank, no. But I'm not
exactly spoilt for choice, am I?

Unless you want
Grantly to supervise?

I'll think about it. Yeah? OK.

Bit of a cheek - trying to blackmail
you into helping her.

Why would I not want
to help Davina out?

- Thought you two were sick of each other?
Doesn't mean we can't work - together, does it?

I'll see you later.

They're not sick of each other.

He didn't deny it, did he?

You wait - the more they see
of each other, the worse it'll get.

Tom?

If it wasn't for me doing this hairdressing,
you and Davina might still be talking.

That's nothing to do with it.

Look, I was just kidding myself,
she's way out of my league. What?

Tom, I know that you till love her.
All we have in common is this place.

You're talking crap, Tom. Oi! Chlo!

Mr Aspinall...

..I have a special
assignment for you.

I need a welcoming party
for Monsieur Legard. Who?

He's the Chef du Projet of
a cultural exchange organisation.

School liaison, all that palaver.

He's giving us the money
for two language labs.

Davina, can I have a word?
Yeah, sure.

Is it true you
and Tom have split up?

Is that what he's said?

Yeah.

But I think, I mean, I know
he doesn't want to lose you.

Clo, you shouldn't be worrying about
what a couple of daft adults are up to.

Just forget about me and Tom.

Concentrate on your own life.

Well, I would if you'd just
admit to each other how you feel.

I wish it was as
straightforward as that.

BELL RINGS

The culmination of weeks of hard
work, coaxing and downright bribery.

Oh, hmm, the mysterious
Monsieur Legard.

It's like the second coming.

I'll believe it when I see it.

Oh, he'll be here, him and his money.

Hey, don't tell me you doubt
my ability to lure a man, Grantly?

This is where Claude's been having
his tea for the past two months,

and Miss Mason should
be kissing my size fives,

the money I'll be
bringing in to this school.

Maybe you've found your metier.
I think I have.

I've got a skill and if I can use it to the
best advantage of the school, then why not?

Hi. Hi.

Can we sort out where we stand,

just for the next time Chlo
collars me in the corridor?

Honestly, I'll swing for her.

I think we've made it pretty clear
that we should just be colleagues.

Which is just as well cos Rachel's
asked me to mentor you

next year on the graduate
teacher programme.

Oh, right.

And don't I get any say in that?

Thanks for the vote of confidence.

I'd just like it to be someone
who wants to do the job.

I do. As long as
you're gentle with me?

Are you making me out
to be some sort of ogre?

It was a joke. Right.

Oh, no, check him now,
trying to look all smug.

Come on then,
Travel Agent of the Month.

They were taking his picture
this morning, all dead smart, like.

They're taking pictures of everyone
in the competition.

The winner gets in the brochure.

He's got the morning off, Mason

said if he wins it's good PR for

the school.

All right, I can speak for myself.

How's a thousand pounds in travel vouchers
good PR for anybody but Donte? I know.

ALL SPEAK AT ONCE

PUPILS CHATTER

Jas... I'll be one minute, OK?

THEY MOUTH

MUSIC: "Calling The World"
by Rooney

♪ I remember when you told me

♪ Do what you want
Do what you want, baby

♪ I can't get you outta my head

♪ You're everywhere and everyone

♪ Calling the world
Calling everyone

♪ I'm calling the world

♪ Calling everyone

♪ For you

♪ For you

♪ Then you ran off In a hurry

♪ Where did you go?
I haven't seen you since Friday

♪ I've been wasting
all of my time

♪ Worrying about you everyday

♪ I'm calling the world
Calling everyone

♪ I'm calling the world
Calling everyone

♪ For you

♪ For you... ♪

Good luck. I hope you
win the competition.

He will.

You looked amazing.

She looked like a right...

Why'd you let him do that?

I couldn't do nothing about it.
The guy just grabbed her.

Yeah?

Chill out will you, babes?
Don't "chill out, babes" me, Donte.

Chlo's really
starting to get on my...

You'd better tell her
and tell her quick.

I would do, but the
lawyers says different.

The lawyer says I have to be
married a year to get a divorce, OK?

We should get a cut of Frenchie's
money for doing this.

That's the cross-cultural spirit
we've come to know and love you for.

Feel like a sappy
flower girl or something.

Oh, my God! Here he comes.

Go and tell Mr Lawson and Miss Mason.

Ooh!

There you go.

Thanks, oh, the relief.

It is like the proverbial weight
being lifted from your shoulders.

Yeah.

So, any news on Hordley's
whereabouts?

- Not that I know of, I hope I never have to see him again.
- KNOCKING

Miss Haydock sent me.

Monsieur Legard's here. OK.

Well, I guess I'll go and meet
and greet. I'll see you later.

- Two language labs can't be bad?
- Yeah, let's hope so.

Nearly three grand this

schmoozing business has cost us.

It'll be all right,
you're just a natural worrier.

Claude! Stephanie.

Un grand plaisir de vous revoir.

Just as handsome as I remember him.

Well, welcome to Waterloo Road.

Eh bien. Miss Mason.

Mr Legard, thank you so much
for coming. Enchante.

Merci pour votre visite.
Merci de m'avoir invite.

Your generous sponsorship
of our language labs

will secure our vocational French
courses, thank you so much.

Eh bien. Je vous souhaite une
visite agreable,

et merci pour votre appui
de nos laboratoires,

erm, laboratoires,
"nueves" de langues.

Elle-meme espere que les laboratoires
vont preparer mieux nos eleves

a apprendre la langue francaise
des affaires.

Bravo. But Stephanie, there is no
need to translate, my English is

very good.

- It's a matter of honour that one speaks
the language of one's host, - if possible.

Absolutely. Steph, are you going

to show Monsieur Legard around?

Yes, yes, I'll give you
the "grand" tour.

We'll see you in my office the
start of lesson three, for coffee.

Thank you. Shall we?

Colouring in - a.k.a.
Art and Design.

Can we? Sure.

We're just having a nose.

What are they doing? Painting landmarks
in the style of French impressionists.

But you've got the real
deal over there, though?

With your Galeries Lafayette?

The shopping centre?
Just my little joke!

But the children get the opportunity
to paint en plein air?

There's not many open expanses
in this neck of the woods.

It's very much bull terrier land.

If they are learning about
the French Impressionists

they should be painting
from real life, non?

Learning about light and colour.

So, you're a bit of an artist, then?

Well, I'm available for sittings...
clothes optional.

- Miss Mason has spent a lot of time working
on the vocational approach - to teaching,

Getting the kids to express
themselves. I can see that.

And now that that seems
to be working,

we're concentrating on the
traditional subjects, like French.

And what we want is a language
laboratory, but they don't come cheap.

Which is why we need
rich businessmen like you.

I agree, language is important.

I can make a difference here.
I'm sure you can.

Don't forget... I know,
change a couple of paragraphs.

I've seen Tom mark,
he never even looks at it.

Steph says she's
a champion speed reader,

but I've seen
her at home, marking.

I feel bad about this,

but it's not like we're hurting
anyone, we're not stealing or anything.

It's like nicking grades. I don't
need grades for what I want to do.

Grades mean nothing if you've got
the passion. Ooh, who told you that?

Look, I'm just doing this for Tom,
I promised him good marks,

I like it when he smiles.

He's not got a right lot to
smile about at the moment.

I know, Steph's been a nightmare
over this new language lab thing.

If I get decent grades
she'll be well happy, too.

As long as we don't say owt to
anyone else, just me and you, yeah?

Yeah. Course.

This is where it all happens.

Ah, the language teaching? Mm-hm.

Everything you see here is
the fruits of my labour.

And which year is studying this?

Erm, this is Year Eight's wall,
they decorated it all themselves.

Do they find it challenging?

Erm, yes, I think so.

And are there any other teachers?

Oh, not in this department,
I'm the head honcho here.

Do you teach German? No.

Spanish? Not yet.

Italian? Listen, most of them can't
even speak their own language.

Little buggers give up French when
they get to Year Nine. Ah!

This is bad, very bad.
This place needs help.

So, Claude, what do you
think of our school?

The pupils are extraordinary,
very warm.

Excellent. How do you
take your coffee?

Black, he likes it black. Right.

So erm, Mr Legard,

I'm sorry, but, how much
are we actually talking about here?

Steph's been a bit
vague with the figures.

When Stephanie first told me
of your plight,

it was my plan to offer
you money for your labs.

But where are the teachers
to teach in them?

Erm, hello?

And where are the pupils to learn?

Only very few I am told,
are studying for the A-level.

This is offensive to me.

I'm sorry, Madame Mason, it is
not the language lab that you need.

It is the teachers who can inspire.

Erm, we're always eager to improve
our teaching standards,

but it would be the,
er, language labs

that would inspire
the kids to learn.

I'm sorry, but I have to say no.

I will talk to schools
with more potential.

When you invest in the teachers,
I will return.

Madame Mason, Monsieur Lawson.

Yeah. Stephanie.

Au revoir. Au revoir.

Steph!

MUSIC: "Eye To The Telescope"
by KT Tunstall

♪ I drugged it in its sleep

♪ There isn't many memories

♪ I'm comfortable to keep... ♪

Come on Stephanie, come on

Claude!

Claude, I think we've got our wires
crossed somewhere along the line.

In what way?

Maybe I could explain it to you
over a glass of wine?

Suffice to say, I'm going to look a complete
idiot if you don't cough up. Mais non.

Erm, it's just that, you know,
given what we mean to each other,

I think we should
have a frank discussion.

I think perhaps this is a good idea.

You do? The more honest we are,
the more we know what we both want.

That would be such a help.

Well, I am prepared
to do this for you. Thank you.

Shall we say your hotel,
one o'clock? OK.

You all right, mate?

Women, innit, man?
Doing my head in.

Hi. Hi.

Eddie, I know you're disappointed,
but don't give up on me.

I said I would come
up trumps and I will.

Oh, yeah?

It's just a case of playing him
along a bit more.

You know what they're like.
Cos it's gone really well so far[!]

Don't be so cynical, Eddie. What on

earth are you going to do now?

The way you're going
we'll end up owing Claude money.

All I need is for you to cover me lesson
four. I'll be back before you know it.

OK.

When I sent you those letters,

I didn't think you were
going to reply.

I'm really glad that you did.

I've missed you loads.

Yeah, me too.

So, why now?
Why did you get back in touch?

I wanted to make sure that it was
definitely over between us, you know.

I didn't want to bump into you in
the shops and then think that...

What, with me pushing trolleys?

..realise I'd made a mistake.

Well, you're here now.

Anyone I know?

Wild guess - Tom Clarkson?

He's a good bloke, Tom.

Can you meet me tonight?

I've got a lot of organising to do,
I've got a new job.

Yeah?

Head teacher.

I never thought you'd set
foot in a school again.

This one's in Dubai.

Right.

I hope it goes well for you.

Have a nice trip.

OK.

Davina!

Come with me.

Come and have dinner with me.

Let's talk about it.

Jack, let's just leave it.
No obligations, no pressure.

I can't.

I still love you, you know that.

This is crazy.

Yeah, OK. I'll see you at seven.

Let me know where.

No.

Matt Gosling,
two little ducks - twenty two.

Beth Pell,
think of a number, thirty eight.

Stephen Green...

..hmm, played before,
old son, played before.

Neil O'Rourke.

KNOCK ON DOOR

I'm sorry to interrupt,
but can you have a look at this?

I think it's been copied
word-for-word

from a GCSE revision
guide on Macbeth.

"General who is not naturally
inclined to commit evil deeds."

Too articulate for our lot.

Have you seen any other odd ones?

No, and I've just
got through all this lot.

Right, erm, so what should I do?

Do you think Rachel might want
to tell the exam board? Er, no.

Why would we want to do that?
Our results are bad enough as it is.

Well, because...

Has he signed his declaration,

- "I do solemnly declare this work is
mine, all mine and nothing - but mine"?

Yes. Well, then, we're covered.

- No, we'll deal with this ourselves and I
would lay you odds of seven - to one on,

That the coursework moderator
wouldn't notice.

No, we submit the marks
and they rubber stamp it.

Listen, I'm just going to see
what Rachel says? Give it.

Paul Calderbank, right, let me deal
with it, I'll take it from here.

What are you going to do?

Well, I'll talk to Miss Mason,
see what action needs to be taken.

I'll be having a a few stern words
and he can do it all again.

OK, thanks.

You know they're gonna finish
in front of United?

Please! You must be joking, bro?!

You all right, Chlo? Hi.

All right, I'll see you
boys in a bit.

I'm sorry about, you know, the
photograph. Celine looked a bit...

Eh, don't worry about it, she's cool.

Well, I meant what I said,
I hope you win.

It looks like you're
doing really well.

Yeah? Thanks.

I hear you're doing pretty well
with your hairdressing and that.

Nice one. Thanks.

Hey, you'll never
guess who I saw today?

Mr Rimmer.

He was with that Davina Shackleton,
weren't he?

Yeah, right.

You all right, Cel? I was telling
Chlo about Mr Rimmer, you know.

He was in this well smart car and then Davina started
getting in and they were both chatting and that.

Right.

See you in a bit.

Come on, babes, you all right?

Mika, you'll never guess what
Donte's just been telling me.

Apparently he saw Davina
get in a car with Jack.

Jack Rimmer? Yeah.

Surprise, surprise,
I knew he'd come back.

That's it then,
they must be back together.

Mika. Chlo, there's nothing
we can do about it.

They're adults,
she's obviously made her choice.

Well, we've got to do something.

Like what? I don't know.

Mika, I really like her.

She's the only one that took me
seriously with my hairdressing

and she was nice to you with
your eco warrior stuff.

Even if Tom wanted her back?

He does. Mika, he loves her.
I know he does.

You know it, too.

Come on. Think of all the women
he could be bringing back.

Chlo, even if you wanted to get them back together,
it's too late. It's definitely looking unlikely.

Rimmer back on the scene.
Tom doesn't stand a chance.

What's that supposed to mean?

It's not quantum physics.
No offence, but...

Rimmer's just got this irresistible
magnetism that Tom lacks.

Tom's better than Rimmer any
day of the week. If you say so.

OK, let's see how
Mr Irresistible copes

when he's got us to contend with.

Hey, I've got to go,
meet me at lunchtime, yeah?

Oi, you skiving off?

Skiving? You've got to be joking,

the next couple of hours might
be the hardest of my life.

What's going on? I've got
the whole school riding on me.

I've got to get Claude
to cough up the cash.

So, what are you going to do?

I don't know, talk to him,
use my feminine wiles.

I just want Eddie and Rachel to know
that I'm not a complete waste of space.

Tell me I'm not a complete waste of
space. You're not a complete waste

of space, OK? Thank you.

Got to go.

Steph...

be careful, please.

All right. Last but not least,
off you go.

You've been in a wee world
of your own this lesson.

I'm sorry.

Dubai. You know, I thought Jack
was all for the kids,

but it sounds like
he's taking the money

and running as
fast and as far he can.

You never know with him.

Seems like he's
totally changed, though.

He's very sure of himself.
Well, good luck to him.

But it sounds like this could
be your chance for a wee holiday.

He could be
living on that Dubai Palm.

No!

Oh, my God.

He's leaving tomorrow so...

Well, what are you going to do?
You're not going, are you?

I don't know what to do.

I'm meeting him tonight.

Your extra Lord Of The Flies
for next lesson.

Brilliant, thank you.

Does he know? No.

Tom.

Have you got a minute?

I erm...

I saw Jack today.

He came up to school.

Jack? Right. How is he?

Yeah, yeah, he's fine.

He's off to Dubai, teaching,

he's got the head's job.

Big money, then.

He wants me to go with him.

I'm meeting him tonight
at the Langfield Hotel.

So, you're going?

No...

I haven't made up my mind yet.

If you haven't made up your mind,
you must still be considering it.

Don't stay on my account.

I'm not going to get involved in
a beauty contest with Jack Rimmer.

You want him...

..you go and get him.

Well, you seem to know
what you want in your life.

That's great.

I don't.

There you go. Nice one, sir.

We'll say no more about it,

but next time make sure that at least
some of it's in your own words, OK?

Or I'll be forced
to tell Miss Mason.

Off you go. Thanks, sir.

Actually, better get half a dozen, I always
think a single rose looks a bit naff. Yeah.

Or a dozen, or two dozen?

Or 23. Did you see that film
where the guy becomes convinced

that the number 23 has
portents of disaster?

Just get six and hurry up.

I tell you what, I'll just get six.

Right, how you doing?

"Dear Davina, I'm sorry for
what I said, this is just daft.

"Please let's talk about this
away from Chlo and Mika".

Yoo-hoo. Stephanie.

Please. Thank you.

Hey, it's lovely here, in't it?

Can I offer you something?
Oh, just a glass of wine.

Merci. Pas de quoi.

Claude.

I'm quite an impulsive person
and I think you are, too.

So, let's be honest
with each other, eh?

I fancy you

and I know you feel the same
about me, so why not do a bit

of business along the way?

Say, thirty thousand euros' worth?

Rachel's approached me about

the possibility of being
your mentor next year.

Right, erm...

well, you know, I wouldn't want
to put you to any bother, Grantly.

I mean if there's someone else
that can do it I'd rather...

Believe me, if there was anyone else, I'd
very willingly give him or her the task.

Thanks.

I don't know why
I want do to this job.

Because teachers seem to spend their
whole lives being flaming miserable.

Nice one, Grantly.

Davina!

Hey, you would
be a great teacher.

Learning off Grantly?

No... Me.

If you'll let me.

Thanks, Tom, but I don't think
that's a good idea.

I would love to see
you at the front of a class.

Yeah, well, who needs
a teaching qualification

when they could be lying on a beach
in Dubai? You're not serious?

That's not what you want.
And you know what I want?

You want to teach.
Let me be your mentor.

I don't think that's a good idea.

I wouldn't want to be
a burden to you, so...

You wouldn't be a burden.

No, it's just erm...

it just wouldn't be worth
the hassle it'd bring you. OK?

Stephanie...

you are a beautiful woman.

Strong, but...
Well, that's true.

I mean, I do have very high
standards, Claude, always have had.

I think, that's maybe the part of my
character that men find attractive.

It's just what I look
for in a woman.

[What I look for in a man...]

Stephanie...

we said we'd be
honest with one another,

I'm a wealthy man, but I don't
believe in something for nothing.

I'm sorry I cannot
give you the money.

The answer is no.

So, it's been nice to see
you again and au revoir.

Tom?

Me and Chlo were thinking, why don't
you take us out to a restaurant tonight?

Try and cheer you up a bit?

I don't need cheering up.
You could've fooled us.

If you're talking about me and
Davina, I told Chlo, the feeling's mutual.

OK, well, just cheer
me and Chlo up, then.

- Come on, Tom, we're really looking forward to it now.
- We'll do the booking.

Maybe at the weekend, eh? OK.

Fine.

So Chlo's right, then.
You do blame her.

I don't blame her for anything.

Well, that's what she's going to

think, isn't she? Look, Mika...

All right, we'll go.

What makes you think Davina'll turn up? Half a
dozen roses and the promise of a chicken fajita?

No. She'll be turn up because
she loves him.

Chlo, are you sure this isn't about
you wanting to see Tom settled?

Is it actually what they both want?

I know she loves him.

Judging by the way
she was this morning,

I can just tell,
she's not happy that it's over.

Sorted. Seriously? Yep.

Stephanie?

Claude, listen,
I know I might have been

a bit full-on downstairs or perhaps
you're just scared of English women.

Well, you don't need to be.

Oooh, very posh.

Ah! Le mini bar.

Right, be a gent
and open the champagne.

PHONE RINGS

Hello.

Where the hell are you?

Look, we've covered two
of your classes, Steph.

We can't manage any more.

I'm sorry Rachel, but I've
been a bit detained.

Why are you whispering? Because I'm
in the hotel room with Claude.

Look, just get back to school, now.

She's having dessert
in the Frenchman's bedroom.

When is Steph gonna realise this is
a business deal, not a bloody date?

Sorry.

Ooh, my favourite.

You have got a big girl
into a lot of trouble.

One thing they could
use the money for,

is sending little old moi
on a refresher course?

Or I could come to Paris in the
school holidays and get some lessons

from a native French speaker.

Refresher course?

Well, it's you that said we had
to invest in the teachers.

Think of what that money could
do for French at Waterloo Road.

Stephanie, stop!

I want you to leave my room now.

There will be no money.

Oh, come on, Claude,
you know what this means to me.

One piece of advice,
Madame Haydock.

A desperate woman,
is never an attractive woman.

Desperate?

For you?

I am way out of your league, matey.

Oh, and thank you
for stringing me along.

COD FRENCH ACCENT: "Oh, of course
Stephanie",

"I will be delighted to
'elp you and your school."

What about all those flaming phone
calls, eh? That was a waste of time.

I hope that your other schools
are more deserving than our kids.

That is where you should focus,
on the children, not me!

This was never about you, Claude.

I've been teaching at Waterloo Road
for nearly 20 years. And this?

This was about giving
those kids a chance.

You're never gonna have what Chlo
and Donte had, so just face facts.

Oh, yeah? And what
would you know about it?

Her, she knows plenty,
she set 'em up. Three one.

Oi, it's him, Cel, it's him.

Hello...?

Oi! Ssh!

Yeah. It's Donte... yeah.

Right... OK.

Thanks mate, bye.

I won. I flaming won, man!

Ah! No way!

San Antonio here I come, mate.

Going on your own, are you?

"Here I come"?

Come on, Cel, I didn't mean it like... Don't
forget who put you forward for this competition?

Supported you, give you
loads of advice and that?

All right. It'll deffo
be me and you, all right?

What the hell's going on here?
Sorry, sir.

Miss Haydock not back yet? No.

Look, I'm sorry that it's bad news,
but I tried my best. I'm going for a drink.

You'd better make it
a large one,

because I'm afraid your role
as Financial Director is over.

Rachel, Claude as good as
promised me that money.

It's not my fault he
turned out to be a liar.

What was I thinking giving
you the role in the first place?

I put everything,
everything into this job.

But if that's not good
enough then fine, sack me.

Oh, Steph, it's not about being...

It's a bit old-fashioned,
but a nice gesture.

Yeah, but an empty one.

You're being a wee bit hard
on him, don't you think?

This, it's all about Jack.

It's an antlers thing.

If he really feels this way
about me,

why doesn't he tell me to my face?

Cos he's not very good at it? No.

Cos he doesn't believe it.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Rachel, we've got a visitor.

Monsieur Legard? Madame Mason.

I might have a serious complaint
to make against your school.

Excuse me? Madame Haydock.

In your country I think you
call it sexual 'arrassment.

However, I think that her heart
was in the correct place.

Erm, I can only apologise
if you feel compromised.

Non, non, non. I am a big boy.

And Stephanie she showed
her passion for the children.

Madame Mason, I have
changed my mind.

This is a cheque for
thirty thousand euros. What?

Perhaps it could be used
to fund a student teacher,

from France perhaps,
to work with your staff.

But that's up to you.

Perhaps some of the money could
be used to retrain Stephanie.

She is a little inexperienced
in business.

But please -
don't send her back to Paris.

No. No, nowhere near you.

- Are you ready, then?
- You're not going like that, are you?

Why? What's up with it? Can't you

look a bit more... kind of, minted?

Yeah, like more sophisticated.

All right.

That's just boring.

Boring?

Woow! Very nice.

Come on then, are you two
going like that?

Oi! Come on.

Well, this is some place
you've chosen here, girls.

We'll have to come back when you get your
exam results. When you both get straight As.

Hi, can I have a large vodka
and tonic, please?

Think I'm going to have the lamb.
What about you, Mika?

Eh, I don't think there's
anything I could have.

Yeah, maybe it's a bit too posh?

Hey, come on. We can do posh.

In fact, one was thinking of
having foie gras for starters.

Ugh, I'm going to go to the loo.

Yeah, I'll come with you.

I'll change it to scallops if it'll
make you feel any better.

Bye, Tom. See ya.

Hey, everything OK? So far so good.

Right, where to then, ladies?

Not been clubbing in a while.

I thought we were
going to get some pizza?

Well, you can come too. Yeah. Course.

No, you're all right,
I'll leave you two to it.

Got some work to do. More work?

Any more swotting and you'll
almost be as clever as me.

No, thank you, Brett. See ya.

I really hope this goes
to plan with Tom and Davina.

"Dear Tom,

"we hope we have
done the right thing,

"but your dining partner tonight

won't be us, but Davina."

Hi. Hi.

Thank you.

You look fantastic.

What you having? White wine, please.

This you spending your tax-free
money before you've even earned it?

Yeah, well, we're going
Dutch tonight.

Well, I hope you'll let
me buy you one thing?

A ticket to a faraway place?

Do you know something?

It took me ages to get over you.

You were my first proper,
grown-up relationship.

Is that the same as me being
your first proper true love?

Close, I think.

You and Tom... how long? Not long.

Kiss me.

Kiss me.

I saw that in a film once.

The woman wanted to tell if

there was still something there.

That spark.

Well?

I mean I'm not complaining, but do
you really need a kiss for that?

Thank you.

MOBILE RINGS

Hello? Mika! Tom?

You've made me look like
a complete idiot.

Davina didn't show up,
I'm so angry with both of you.

Tom, calm down.

I'm really, really sorry.

It was stupid and childish of you.

Yes, yes, it probably
was stupid and childish,

but we were only trying to help
you make the right decision.

I'll be the judge of what's
the right thing for me.

Fine. But just ask yourself this.

Are you more annoyed about
you looking like a dummy,

or that Davina didn't turn up?

I'll see you later.

Put another one in there, mate,
will you?

And a pint and a glass
of Merlot please, mate.

I'll get these. If I'd known that
I would have ordered a triple.

Guess how much money Claude gave us?

Yeah, all right,
he blew me out, the little French...

Thirty thousand euro,
over twenty grand.

You're lying.

He came to see us after you left.
I can't believe it.

What happened to make
him change his mind?

You, apparently. See, told you

you were wrong, I did it!

Yeah, well done.

I can't say I approve
of your methods of persuasion.

Every financial director
has their own little ways, Rachel.

I'm still for the chop, aren't I?

God! Miss Mason's in there.

I can't believe I'm still hiding
from teachers. I'm a married man.

Not long, only six months to go.

Oh, get over yourself,
so I flashed a bit of thigh.

So what? Don't tell me
you've never done it?

I'm not re-instating you, Steph.

We'll discuss your new responsibilities
when we've thought of something.

Somewhere you'll
do the least damage.

Thanks... for nothing.

Steph? Maxine? This is a pub.

You've got no right to be here,
now just, just go home.

What's going on? What's up?

I'M what's up.

I'm hopeless, Max. No way, you are
not saying that about yourself.

But it's flaming true.

Making out I'm something I'm not.

Finance director - that's a laugh!

French teacher...

that's even funnier.

I'm just a fake, Max, I'm just trying to cover up
the fact that I'm crap at everything that I do.

You're the best, Steph.

Nobody's ever going
to tell me any different.

You've made me want to get up
in the morning and be happy.

And if that's not a success,
I don't know what is.

I love you.

Oh, God, Max.

You don't know how much
I needed you to say that.

- You're not the only one who pretends to be
something you're not, there's - loads of folk do it.

And I mean loads. What do you mean?

Well, you know them really great
course work marks I've been getting?

Would I be able to train
as a teacher over there?

I'm sure you could.
It's an international school,

the facilities are amazing.

And what if I said
I wanted you to stay here?

Well, I've signed the contract.

It's a big commitment.

I'd be letting a lot of people down.

That's the right answer.

What was this, some kind of test?
Yes, of course it is.

I'm about to make the biggest
decision of my life.

I want to be sure.

Why are we any more likely to make it
over there, than what we would here?

We didn't work here because of me.

I was nose-diving...

and the pills were making me think everything was
OK, but it wasn't. I couldn't make sense of anything.

It's been a long haul getting
my life back in shape,

all along...

I've been thinking of you.

I still love you.

Come with me.

What are you doing here?

You've had dinner with him and I was
waiting for you to have dinner with me.

I'm sorry, Tom. I just, I thought
it was an empty gesture.

- The truth is, it wasn't a gesture at all. I didn't
actually invite you - for dinner, the girls did.

I'm sorry, Tom,
we've got plans for tonight.

But as I sat there
waiting and waiting...

honest to God, I was
shaking with excitement.

I'd have given anything to see
you walk through the door.

Well, she didn't. Tell him.

I was choked and I just knew.

I knew... you know that too,
don't you?

Whatever you decide is fine...

I just needed to tell you.

I'm sorry for interrupting
your evening.

You OK? Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

I'm going to get excluded, aren't I?

You won't, if you
keep your mouth shut.

Anyway, you've told the truth now.

That's all that matters.

But suppose I get grades
that I, like, don't deserve?

If everyone got what they
deserved Maxine, I'd be stepping

into a chauffeur-driven limousine
and instead, we're getting the bus.

Where's the fairness in that?

Anyway, what's the point
of giving Ms Mason

another stick to beat us with?

Thought you were going clubbing?

It's all gone crap, Chlo.
Davina didn't turn up.

You're joking. Where's Tom?

Throwing himself off
a cliff by the sound of it.

Although, he might want
to throw us off first.

DOOR CREAKS

I need a beer.

Tom?

I know, it's all right.

DOORBELL RINGS

Davina.

Come in.

It's nice to see you.

Really is.

Hiya.

Can I have one of those?

A girl can change her mind,
can't she?

They don't know the truth,
do they, Amanda?

That's her name, or at least it was
when she was a prost*tute.

Ey! That's right boys and girls,

your Miss Mason used to earn her
living on her back!

I'll clear this mess up today
and then I'm gone.

I'm sorry, I'm Stella Hanson
from the Exam Board.

Look me in the eye and tell me you
didn't cheat on your English coursework.

Have you any idea the position
that you've put me in?

You know what,
I'm not coming back next year.

I know because I'm going
to have to expel you.

I could have helped you. And now?

You're suspended
pending an investigation.

You think you're
better than me, don't you...?

Agh!