14x03 - Episode 3

[bunniefuu]

Can't just be me shortlisted
for the co-deputy head role.

I'd rather poke my own eye out.

I'd like to recommend
Coral for deputy head.

"Barbara Rafferty's funeral wishes."

I'm not asking you to pay for it
all. I just need a lend.

Oh, here we go.

I can't do this by myself, Nick.
I'm brassic.

Got you a cleaning job if you
want it. Are you serious?

I don't have bullying at my school.

There are some things in life
that you just can't control.

See him? I heard that's his lad.

Daddy's boy! Get lost!

Come here!

I met your fella properly.
Wasted as a caretaker.

I might be able to find him
something better.

Is that Nan's?

Oh, my God!

Well, it was in my house.
What are you on about?

That's going to have to
pay for the funeral.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! No, no, no...

Hey, let it go! Come on, come on!

You won't get away with this,
you thieving cow!

Mr Savage messaged.

Reckons he's got a new role for me.

That's brilliant.

Hey, why didn't you tell me
that you knew him?

He said that you and him
go way back.

Well, I'd just lost me mam.

I mean, it wasn't the time
to get out the yearbook.

Yeah, course not.

What the hell's going on here?

Dad, don't, no.
They're not even in school.

Doesn't work like that.

They might not be in school,
but I am.

Oi!

What do you think you two are doing?

Expressing ourselves.

Express yourselves in art class.

Give me them cans.

When you are wearing that uniform,
you are representing Waterloo Road.

Now, get to school!

What a div, mate.

School! Now!

"School. Now."
THEY SCOFF

Oh, some last-minute cramming?

I think we did that this morning.

Oh!
THEY CHUCKLE

So, are you raring to
go for this interview, then?

Ah, I think so.

Just picture it - me,
a senior leader.

Oh, "Senior."

Something so masterful
about the way you say it.

Ssseniorrr...

Rrrr! Oh!

THEY CHUCKLE
Oh-h*-h*!

What are you dressed like that for?

Like what?

Well, you...you know what.

All "you go, girl" type of thing.

I am going to get me
a deputy headship.

You said you wouldn't dream of
taking on extra responsibilities.

Yeah, but I would dream of
a greatly reduced timetable...

..so why not?

May the best hottie win.

You can wiggle about in that very
tight skirt as much as you want...

..but this job is mine.

HE CHUCKLES

Big day today. Trying out
coaching for the first time.

So...are you nervous?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm terrified.

Oh, don't be daft.

Steve wouldn't have asked you cover

if he didn't think you were up
to it, would he?

What do I know about coaching kids?

Everything!

You can be anything you want to be.

I could do without Debs starting
that new cleaning job today, though.

I can't believe you've not spoken
to her since the funeral.

Well, it's probably for the best.

Anyway, I have decided, at work,

I'm going to rise above it and
be the ultimate professional.

Oh, yeah? The last time you were
being the "ultimate professional",

I got a black eye, remember?

SHE CHUCKLES

Thank you.

What for?

Just...always making me feel better.

Good luck.

Whoa.

I don't think I was this
scared on my first day of school.

Yeah, well, it's just a cleaning
job. How hard could it be?

Judging by the state of the house
since Nan went, pretty hard.

Well, there's nothing stopping
you from helping.

Oh, well, it is my history
presentation today.

Oi!

How long are you going
to keep this up?

Oh, OK.

Erm, how much of that 8,545 quid
have you managed to get through?

Only I heard the offy
had to restock.

Mm. Well, I paid my share
of the funeral.

Ha! And I've not been spending
it on booze or f*gs

because I'm saving it for this one.

She's got the chance to go to uni.

Oh, right! And where are my
kids going to go, then?

Well, I'm not being funny,

but I doubt Tonya will make
it to university, do you? Mum!

Whatever.

Save it for my solicitor.

DEBS SCOFFS
Solicitor!

How are you going to afford that?

Why are you always causing a drama?

Will you two just stop?

You should be grieving over Nana,
not scrapping over her money.

It's embarrassing.

Yeah, well, I'm just
thinking of your future, love.

Yeah, you keep telling
yourself that, Mum.

BELL RINGS

Noel! Noel!

Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel!

Have you seen this?

Yeah, what about it?

Yeah, so, what do you think?

I don't know.

No, it'll be a laugh.

And I... And I genuinely think
we've got a chance, right?

I mean...I mean, everyone
loved my playing last week, so...

Mate, you're playing at a funeral.

Right, I'm jokin', yeah?

It's just the two of us,
it's not really a band, is it?

Yeah, we can put a band together.

The thing is, yeah, I-I can't
play basketball any more.

You literally coach basketball.

Yeah, but it's not the same thing,
is it?

And now Kai's in Berlin, I just...

..I need something to fill
my empty...empty days.

NOEL SIGHS

Can't say no, can I?

Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah, go on, lad!

BELL RINGS

Nice one!

Yes, Mrs Sumi, that's fine.

I can meet you at 10am. No problem.

All right, I look forward
to seeing you. Bye, now. Bye.

SHE SCOFFS
Well, what am I supposed to do?

She was going to get
in touch with Ofsted.

You're already triple booked and
you've got that meeting off-site

with the Trust as well later.

Right. You need to let me
do your appointments. Yeah.

Hi. Er, do you need your
tea station refilling?

Didn't you do that yesterday?

All right, Wendy.

We do need to look at your schedule.

Yeah, all right.

Thank you.

Come on, then.
What's it about really?

I presume it's something to do with

that slanging match you
and your sister had.

Ah, you heard.

I did hear, yeah.

It's fine, apology accepted.

Please don't bring family
matters into school.

Yeah, no, it's something else,
actually.

Erm...it's a bit awkward.

Er...

You...You haven't mentioned to
anyone that we used to be a thing

back in the day, have you?

No. Oh, I brought it up at
staff briefing this morning.

Is that all right?

That's not even funny.

Look, I'm not being rude, Nicky,
but I've got so much stuff on.

Oh! I just mean, be quick.

All right. Erm...

Well, it's Donte.

Well, he knows that we
knew each other.

He just doesn't know...

How well we knew each other.

Well, yeah.

And you're embarrassed.

Oh, yeah, cos I had
braces and curtains. That hurts!

No, it's just...

I just didn't tell him and now
I can't tell him because then he'll

think I deliberately didn't tell him
and he's just going to wonder why.

Well, yeah.

Well, then it'll feel
bigger than it is.

Right, so you want me to lie to him?

Well, it's not lying, is it?
It's not really.

Well, you know me - I think
honesty's the best policy,

but he'll hear nowt from me.

Thank you.

And I swear,
I won't bother you again,

unless it is actually to
refill your tea station.

BELL RINGS

He's all right, you know.

Who is?

Your dad, the head, whatever.

He's all right.

Is he? Yeah, he had
my back last week.

What do you mean?

Has he not told you?

No, he doesn't really
talk about work.

So, what do you talk about then?
We don't.

Erm, what's your mum like?

She's, erm...

Er...

She... She, er...died.

Oh!

Sorry, er...

Yeah, he's forgotten it would have
been her birthday today, so...

I'm...I'm so sorry.

Do...Do you want to talk about it?

No. Thank God.

No, I'm...I'm not good at that...
Yeah, no, me either, so...

So, erm...

You going to that?

I was thinking
I might actually try out,

but that's like social suicide,
innit?

Think you've got that covered with
the whole "my dad's the head" thing.

I think my mate Preston's
putting a band together

and he's pretty cool, so...

Preston's my brother.

Honestly, he's not that cool.

But it's cute that you think so.

Mog fancies Preston!

No, no, I don't!

He was my mentor
when I first came here.

I can put in a word
if you want to try out.

Yeah. Yeah, that'll be...

That's really cool.

Ooh, big day today!

So, are you nervous
about the interview?

No.

Careful what you wish for, right?
This, it's not an easy job.

Well, you manage it.
How hard can it be?

Well, I say you manage it -

you didn't really cope
with the headship, did you?

Sorry, I can be a right
cow when I'm nervous.

Ah. You nervous every day?

Miss Walker. Mrs Chandra.

Wow.

OK, so...

..may the best woman win.

Why, thank you. Thank you.

Sorry to interrupt, folks.
Shall we crack on, Joe?

Yeah, yeah.

WHISPERS: Lose the neckerchief.

Oh.

HE BREATHES HEAVILY

Hey.

What's going on?
Why are you not changed?

Practical's not till later.

This is meant to be a theory lesson.

You were supposed to book
an empty classroom.

Yeah, well, no-one told me.

But, look, now we're here, might
as well do some practical, OK?

Yeah, we're still not playing.

What? None of you? Why not?

We're all on our period.

What? All of you?
ALL MURMUR ASSENT

Come on, girls.

Look, I've seen the TV adverts, OK?

There is nothing that you can't do.

You can play tennis,

you can roller-skate with
dogs and everything.

Look, just give me a break,
will you?

If Miss Walker comes in and sees
you sat down, drinking lemonade

and eating crisps...

..she's going to think that
I'm not up to the job.

Well, to be honest,
netball's proper boring anyway.

And also, it's so cleesh.

It's actually cliche.

GIRLS GIGGLE

And it sounds to me like you're just

trying to get out of a
bit of hard work.

Look, Mr Donte - or Coach Charles
or whatever we're supposed to be

calling you right now - we're not
being tight or anything, but,

at the end of the day, you're just
a caretaker with a tracksuit on.

You're not a qualified teacher
and we don't have to listen to you.

Mm-mm-mm.

Don't look at me.

I'm wasn't even going to play later.

I don't feel well.

You were fine this morning.

I said I'm not playing!

So how would you
describe your vision

when it comes to
behaviour management?

It's about high expectations,
no excuses.

If we lower our standards for them,

they lower their expectations
of themselves.

It's my belief that, if you accept
mediocre, then that's all you get.

If you come in late, detention.

If you forget your homework,
detention.

You smack another kid in the mouth?

You've got detention.

OK, so, how would you
describe your leadership style?

As a critical friend.

Oh, come on, Steve, you know me.

You know, I would just
say it how it is.

It's my view that the senior
leadership team is always there

in a supportive capacity, but,
equally, we have to set the tone

and we need to ensure
the staff are on board with that.

It's good to see that dealing with
staff is one of your strong suits.

Absolutely.

Well, rules are rules,
and if staff don't get that...

Detention?

I relish the opportunity to work
with colleagues in all capacities.

I've developed excellent
relationships

with them over the years.

Hey, you all right?

Oh, hey. How's girls' PE?

Oh, it's like pulling teeth.

They're just so bored.

Yeah, I might try and get 'em
to play rugby later.

Oh, aren't you clever?

Yeah, I just hope Steve doesn't
hear about this morning, though.

Nah, he won't.

Ste's got a lot on today.

"Ste"?

You're on pet names already?

No...

Cos we know each other
from school, remember?

Yeah, I know. I just didn't know
you were that close.

Well, we weren't...

..but it's just what people used
to call him back in the day.

Better get on.

I'm not going to lie - I smashed it.

Question about school discipline,
totally on point.

Question about dealing
with the staff,

knocked that bad boy out the park.

Well, you know what they say -
pride comes before a fall.

Well, you know, I suppose I
was at an unfair advantage,

given me and Steve
go back a long time.

I was really there for him -
you know, when his wife died.

Course you were.

Although knowing you well could
be more of a disadvantage.

Well, I bet the question about
relationships with staff

was awkward for you.

Excuse me, ladies.

Who is that?

Mm-mm, come to Nisha.

How's Julia and the kids?

They're great.
How's that golf swing?

Could be better.
THEY LAUGH

Well, it's obviously
an external candidate.

What? Steve never said he was going
to be interviewing anybody else.

Oh, and here's me thinking
you two were great pals.

He can't do this!

He's the head.
He can do what he wants.

No.

He's probably just Steve's mate.

He was due to meet me
ten minutes ago!

I know, but he's not
available at the moment.

Well, that's not good enough.

I was persuaded not to go
to Ofsted on the promise

that he would see me today.

A teacher was very rude to
my child and I want an apology.

If you could just wait
here in reception...

Maybe I can help.

This is Mrs Sumi. She has a
complaint about a member of staff.

Oh, I see.

I'm Coral Walker.

Deputy head.

Oh. Why don't we go somewhere
private, get you a cup of tea

and we can talk?

Well, thanks for seeing me.

I wish Mr Guthrie had
your sense of professionalism.

BELL RINGS

What do you mean?
It's got to be heavy.

Yeah, but what do you mean by heavy?
Everything about it, heavy.

What do you mean by heavy, though?
Big song? Yeah, massive...

Er, you guys are in the
Battle of the Bands, yeah?

BOTH: Yeah.

Er, can I, like, try out?

Er, we've...we've already got
two guitarists.

Yeah, we're...we're just
looking for a drummer now, so...

Right. OK

Let's not be too hasty, eh, Preston?

PRESTON SIGHS

Can...can you just give us,
like, a sec? Just...

Yeah. ..really, really quick?
Yeah. Yeah, cheers.

I don't get why we need
another guitarist.

You've got me!

You're all right, yeah?

We should probably at least
listen to the guy.

Just stop being tight
and let him play.

Don't take it personally.

Don't want to end up like
the Gallagher brothers, do we?

No.

All right! All right! Fine, fine.

Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah? Yeah. Billy.

Go on.

Play? Now, like?

Yeah. OK, yeah. Yeah. Yep.

We...We've not got long, though.

Nah, it's all right,
just take your time.

Leave him alone! What?!

Nice guitar. I like the strap.

When you're ready.

Sorry. Er...

# I'm going under and this time
I fear there's no-one to save me

# This all or nothing really
got a way of driving me crazy

# I need somebody to heal

# Somebody to know

# Somebody to have

# Somebody to hold

# It's easy to say

# But it's never the same

# I guess I kind of liked the
way you numbed all the pain

# Now the day bleeds

# Into nightfall

# And you're not here

# To get me through it all

# I let my guard down

# Then you pulled the rug

# I was getting kind of used
to being someone you loved

# I let my guard down

# Then you pulled the rug

# I was getting kind of used
to being someone you loved. #

CHEERING

Hey, what do you think, then, man?

Yeah, man, you're in.

Yeah? Yeah, yeah.

Welcome to the band! Welcome to
the band. Billy, innit? Yeah.

Hey. I hope I didn't
upset you before.

Yeah, well, you did!

Yeah, well, I'm sorry.

Are you really feeling poorly?

Kind of.

Tonya, come on, talk to me.

You know, maybe I can help.

I doubt it.

This is one of those "if you've not
got a womb, you won't understand"

kind of deals.

OK, so it's one of those things,
then?

SHE SCOFFS

Yeah, one of those things that you
don't have to worry about

because it doesn't affect you.

Come on, I didn't mean it like that.

I was just trying to respect
your privacy, that's all.

Yeah, well, there's nothing private

about being doubled up
in pain in maths...

..or leaking through
your pants on the bus.

My period's really heavy.

Like, really heavy.

And I'm in so much pain.

In the toilets before, I nearly
cried because it hurt so much,

but paracetamol doesn't work.

OK. Have you tried
talking to your mum?

Yeah, she said, "You try pushing two
kids out, then come talk to me!"

Look, I'll ring the doctor later,
yeah?

And I'll try and see if I can help,
but I am no expert.

Hm!

I mean, Izzy, she...she used to
talk to her mum

about all of this, not me.

And thinking about it, men are
just useless, really, aren't they?

You're not ALL useless.

Does your dad play?

No, definitely not.

He's got no musical ability
whatsoever.

I thought as much.

My, er...

My mum played, though.

Yeah, she was amazing.

What kind of music?

Like, '80s, '90s acoustic.

Proper old, ancient stuff.

You know, like Tracy Chapman,
Snow Patrol - that kind of thing.

SHE CHUCKLES
Your mum had good taste.

Mm.

And you've clearly
inherited her talent.

You wanted to see me?

Ah, now, this is a bit, erm,
delicate...

Ah, I'm sure it doesn't have
to be all that delicate...

..especially if I've
been a bad, bad boy.

Neil!

This isn't a joke.

Oh, I am so sorry.
Did you not get the job?

I-I just thought, with you sending
a text saying to meet you here,

that you'd smashed it.

I'm afraid I've got
a parent with me.

She's made a complaint about
the quality of your teaching

and your "appalling demeanour"
with the children.

Her words, not mine.

How's Ste?

What?

You sly dog. You haven't told Donte
about him yet, have you?

Keep your voice down.

See, what intrigues me is,
why are you keeping it a secret?

It's not as if he thinks
you're a virgin.

I know Donte's not the
brightest spark in the box,

but the two kids are
a bit of a giveaway.

It's none of your business.

Are you still in love
with the Head Teacher?

Oh, you are way off the mark!

BELL RINGS
Or is it cos he was your first?

I'm not listening to this.

Oh, yes, you are.

Call off them solicitors

or I'm going to tell Donte
all about you and little Ste.

Ooh, sorry.

Er, don't look now, but I, er...

I think...

Yeah...Yeah, they've just
had another argument.

Oh, I'm so sick of them.

Well, maybe you should have just
gotten rid of her completely

instead of asking her to come back.

I need to show Steve what
I'm made of.

So, you're using me, then?

No.
KNOCK ON DOOR

This is a private meeting.

Well, unless you two are about to
christen this office with your...

.."love", this looks like
school business to me.

Look, I know about the
complaint against Neil.

Your input is not needed.

Just here to help.

Might be an idea to get some
fresh, untainted eyes on this.

It's important that you're not
going all softly, softly

on your boyfriend.

Not sure what Steve
would think about that.

SHE SIGHS

As I mentioned, Mrs Sumi was
concerned about your attitude

because you said...

CLEARS HER THROAT

.."It's not my fault you
baboons don't get it."

NISHA CHUCKLES

"You lot wouldn't know
what good teaching was

"if it bit you on your
hairy backsides."

That was a mistake.

Baboons don't have hairy backsides.

They're smooth. Very smooth.

Do I look one bit amused?!

Look, maybe it's better
if I take over from here.

I mean, perhaps you're too closely
involved with each other.

I am perfectly able to divorce
my relationship with Neil

from my professional
dealings with him.

You humiliated that child
and you need to make amends.

And you're going to do that today.

Do what today?

Restorative justice...

..between you, and the pupil
and the parent.

"Restorative justice"!

That is snide.

Neil, I wouldn't take that.

Nobody asked you.

Enough!

You two are just using
this situation

to score points against each other!

I am merely a plaything in
your deputy headship game!

I am not a toy!

BELL RINGS

Hmm...

You're not going to win.

We'll see.

SHE SIGHS

Hey!

You all right?

Debs?

How'd you guess?

Because it's always her.

Just forget about all this
money business, will you?

And call off the solicitors.

Do you think?
I think it's not worth the stress.

Yeah. Yeah, you're probably right.

I'll give 'em a call now.

OK. Look, I've got to go. Mm-hm.

I'll see you later. See you.

LINE RINGS

WHIMPERING

Hey, you all right?

Hello, you're through to...
Oh, sorry. Er, yeah, hi...

No, wait!

Hello? Hello. Is that Nicky Walters?

Yeah. Hannah. How can I help?

All right, you, Miss?
You're looking a bit, er...

A bit what?!

Sorry, Miss.

Just a bit not happy.

You've got one of them faces,
you should be smiling all the time.

It's my sister.

She's getting on my last nerve.

I think I've managed to hit her
right where it hurts, though.

In the face, yeah?

SHE LAUGHS

Just families for you, though,
innit, Miss? I suppose.

Will you stop calling me "Miss"?

I'm not one of them teachers.
You know me. It's just Debs.

Sorry...

..Miss Debs.

"Miss Debs"? You're an idiot!

So, I've only got hold of his guitar

and the second I've got
me hands on that...

Whack! Whack!

Oh, mate, I've demolished it!

You smashed my guitar.

And what are you going to do?

Don't. You know, you should
listen to your girlfriend, man.

I said I'm not happy that
you've wrecked my guitar.

And he said,
"What you going to do?"

Yeah, what ARE you going to do?
Just leave it.

No, you wrecked my guitar.

I'm going to wreck YOU.

LAUGHTER

YOU'RE going to wreck ME?!

Ha-ha! He's going to wreck me!

Pal, mate, I love that.

You know, I love that so much
that I'm going to let you,

so you meet me here after school
and you can have a go.

Billy, you can't fight him.
He'll smash your face in.

Yeah, I know, but I'm going
to have to now, aren't I?

You don't. It's just a broken
guitar. Better that than your legs.

You can still play in the band
with any old guitar.

It wasn't just any old guitar,
though.

Someone gave it me.

Mate, I'm sorry, but you can't
mess with people like that.

You're supposed to
stand up to bullies!

This is the real world!
People like him are dangerous.

You need to tell your dad.

You know what? Just leave me alone.

Oh, Billy, don't be like that.

Billy, come back!

Here again, Nicky?

How'd you know it was me?

Smell of chip fat.

Hey!

I'm joking.

Oi! I've told you, you need
an appointment to see Mr Savage.

Oh, he won't mind.

He's on the phone to Ofsted!

OK. All right.

Finished.

SHE SIGHS

Hi. Erm... I know I said
I wouldn't bother you,

but I've just seen your lad.

He was on his own by the bins.
Looked upset.

Did he say anything?

No, he just ran off,
so I thought I'd come and tell you.

Right, thanks.
I'd better go and find him.

Out of all the sports, why rugby?

I don't know.
I just thought it would be...

Not cliche? Yes...

Yeah. Are you aware that there's
a movement away from contact sports

in schools now?

There's a worry that there's a link
between head injuries and dementia.

Hmm.

I suppose there is a point to
teacher training after all.

You know, erm,
for the first session,

we were going to play tag rugby.

Tag rugby? Yeah, tag rugby.

You know, the one with the snotty
hankies in the back pocket,

and then you've got to try and, er,
whip it out?

I know what tag rugby is, thank you,

but you're never going
to get them playing it.

Yeah? Hey, girls!

You're all up for playing
tag rugby later, right?

ALL: No, sir!

THEY GIGGLE

"No, sir."

Sorry.

I know you were trying to
impress Voldemort,

but what made you think they
were actually going to say yeah?

Ah, I don't know.

I just really wanted today
to go well, you know?

Hey, that reminds me - I've got
you a doctor's appointment

for next week.

Yeah, I mean, I did have
to pretend to be your dad.

And I got you some stuff
for your period pains.

Don't look at me like that!

What are you smiling for?

Thanks for saying "period".

And thanks for this.

It's all right.

I'm not making any promises,

but I'll try and get some
of the girls to play, OK?

Yeah? Get in! Thank you.

Hey, and do me a favour, will you?

Just try and talk to your mum again.

Look, she'll understand!

Donte, out of all
my mum's boyfriends -

and there has been a lot -
you are my absolute favourite.

Yeah? Well, I've got to say,
that means a lot, Tonya.

Don't be getting too
big-headed, all right?

They were all trolls,
but you're the best of a bad bunch.

Now, do one. I don't want to be
seen speaking to a teacher.

All right, see you later.

And if you ever asked
her to marry you...

..I'd let you.

You draw the altitude of the
hypotenuse on the triangle

and then you divide the length of
the shortest side of the

main triangle by the hypotenuse
on the main triangle,

then you multiply the result by
the length of the remaining...

..side...

..to get the length
of the altitude.

You know, maybe if you
drew it on the board, Miss,

we'd actually understand it better.

Board's there, I'm here.

What are you going to do?

KNOCK ON DOOR

Ah, Miss Chandra.

You've come with news, I take it.

Oh... No, no.
No news on that just yet.

Three very strong candidates,

so it's going to take a
while to make a decision.

Oh, right.

Well, I'm just glad it's
not a fait accompli, then.

What do you mean?

Well, Coral's dealing with
that Mrs Sumi woman

like she's already got the job.

I mean, we'd all love extra
opportunities to shine.

SHE CHUCKLES

Er...

Can I speak to Billy
for a minute, please?

Billy!

Your dad wants you.

PUPILS: Ohhh!

Make that TWO really
strong candidates.

Are you all right, son?

Yeah, why?

Well, it's just that
someone saw you,

said you looked a bit
upset about something.

What, so you've got spies out now,
have you?

No! Course not.

But I'm not stupid, am I?

I know things aren't
right for you here,

but I'm not the enemy.

I might be the head,
but I'm your dad first.

Yeah, my dad who's forgotten
my mum's birthday.

Oh, mate... I-I...

I'm sorry. I am.

I...I just didn't even...

I've got so much...

Look, hey, let me book that place
we used to go to all the time.

No. We'll go tonight.
No, Dad, I can't.

It's not too late.

PHONE RINGS

Look, just ignore that. Why?

I just...

Oh, you know what?
Just take the call.

No, no. No, tell me. I don't...
No, it's... Whatever.

PHONE CONTINUES RINGING

DOOR CLOSES

Ready when you are, Kelly Jo.

KELLY JO CLEARS THROAT

So...

..if you were to ask an American
what their role was in World w*r II,

they'd probably say, erm...

..to win it.

LAUGHTER

But, erm, America was way ahead in

terms of its production of weapons.

Without those weapons,

winning the w*r would have
been a lot more difficult.

But...But by the end of the w*r,
Britain owed America a lot!

Like, actually a lot of money.

Like, literally.

Yeah!
SHE LAUGHS

Sir, how cool's that?

I know. Erm...

But, yeah, so, there
was a big debt to pay.

On the 29th of Decembre...

LAUGHTER

And, yeah, guys, that
actually is Calvin Murdock!

KELLY JO LAUGHS
Don't ask me where I got it.

But that is you because
that debt was paid off

on the 29th of December 2006 -

the day...you were born!

You all right?

What are you up to?

Other people's kids are so boring.

I thought speccy four-eyes
was never going to shut up.

Look at our Kelly Jo.
She's brilliant.

HE CHUCKLES

Hey, erm...

Listen, you do know Nicky's not
getting a solicitor involved now?

Look, she's doing
the decent thing, yeah?

Maybe you could do the same
and just give her half the money.

Our Nicky?

"Decent"?
SHE SCOFFS

What do you mean by that?

Well, if she was doing
the decent thing,

then she'd have told you
all about her and Ste.

What do you mean, her and Ste?

They weren't just schoolmates.

He was her boyfriend.

Her first proper boyfriend.

You told him?

Why would you do that?

OK, so the debate's
more to do with...
RAISED VOICES OUTSIDE

OUTSIDE: ..you nasty cow?!

PUPILS LAUGH

J-Just ignore it.

Think about your grade.

OUTSIDE: Why don't you start telling
your boyfriend...?!

PUPILS LAUGH

OUTSIDE: At least I've got a
boyfriend!

PUPILS: Ohhh!
Yes, all right, thank you!

Move! Now!

Where is your loyalty?!

You're trying to take money from me
that you're not entitled to.

Oh-h*! You have been flaunting your
boyfriend in my face for months.

I don't owe you anything, Nicky,
and neither did Mum!

How could you stand there
and say that?!

It was me who had to live
through her being an alky!

She's dead.

Just stop talking about
her like that!

No! You were a kid,
you were too young.

You had no clue what was going on.

Can we stop talking about this?
We're in school!

No! We'll talk about it now!

It was me who had to wait
up for her every night,

making sure she wasn't
dead in a ditch somewhere!

Me who had to hold her hair back
while she was chucking up!

And you, you were in bed.

And I know you were in bed because
I was the one who tucked you in

and read you stories

and made you think
everything was all right.

Have you any idea what
I went through with her?

I know that she stopped
drinking when you left.

So, what does that say?

BELL RINGS

I'm surprised Donte's not
started hitting the bottle.

That's horrible, Mum.

I'm sick of you playing
the victim, Nicky.

You are the only problem round here,

and the sooner that he
realises that, the better.

Nice.

She's the one that's
out of order, not me.

I can't wait to go to uni and get
away from all this, you know.

Nah, you'll miss it
when you're gone.

KELLY JO SCOFFS
No.

No, I don't want to be
anything like them.

I don't even know who
they are any more.

Neither of them, right?

Neither of them are bothered about
Nana.

She died.

Yeah, she died!

They're not even upset about it!

I wouldn't fall out
with you two over money.

You know if we acted like little
kids, we'd get punished for it?

Wait, where are you going?

Here he is, Mr Tag Rugby 2024.

Give us a go.

No-one here yet?

No, not yet,
but I'm quietly confident.

Well, I'd love to stay,
but I've got a meeting now.

Yeah, right.

You're just wanting to witness
my humiliation, you, aren't you?

Little bit.

Hey, listen, the girls said before
that they'd feel more comfortable

in PE if they had, like,
single cubicles

instead of one big changing room.

Well, budgets are tight. I don't
think you've got much chance.

I mean, you don't ask,
you don't get, right?

SHE CHUCKLES

Oh, you have got a lot to learn!

But you're showing initiative

and, in my book, that shows
the makings of a good teacher.

You think so? Yeah.

No harm in looking into it.

Try and speak to Steve, maybe?

Ah! As if by magic!

Oh, thank God.

No, thank us.

Donte, can we talk?

I'm kind of in the middle
of something right now.

Right, come on, girls.

Let's go!

Some of my words were
not appropriate.

I acknowledge that now.

I probably assumed -
quite wrongly, of course...

..that you must have some
sort of sense of humour.

I enjoy humour, but,
on this occasion,

I think you fell short of the mark.

Well, on this occasion, I am
forced to agree with your insight.

And I apologise.

I appreciate your sincere apology.

And I accept it.

Well, I appreciate your acceptance
of my sincere apology.

Thank you. Thank you.

I think we've done enough
restorative work for today.

Sorry to interrupt, everybody.

Mrs Sumi, I'll be with you shortly.

Miss Walker, can we, er,
have a quick word?

Start talking.

What are you playing at?
I was helping you out.

I saw a parent in distress,
you were busy,

I dealt with it.

Yeah, and thank you,
but it's not helpful

when other candidates think
it's giving you an unfair advantage.

And you can't just use my office
whenever you fancy playing deputy.

Mrs Sumi, I'm so sorry that
I missed our appointment.

Ah, Miss Walker intercepted

and let me observe the restorative
justice session, which,

I understand, is not
normal practice so, er...

..well, we appreciate it.

We've made good progress, Mr Savage.

I'm assuming you're happy
that no further action...

Well, that went well.

Mm! Yeah, peachy!

Oh, er, please, Miss,
may I go back to my class now?

Don't be like that, Neil.

You could have been a bit
more supportive.

I was.

We're supposed to be...

You and I...

Are nothing more than professional
colleagues when we're in school.

Oh.

I see.

SHE SIGHS

How come you're not playing rugby?

Can't be bothered.

Donte did good, though.

Aw, you want him
to be our new daddy?

SHE CHUCKLES

A little bit, yeah.

Yeah, a little bit? Yeah.

Move, please!

Kelly Jo, get back here, now!

Don't do anything stupid!

What is going on?!

She's got your nana's money!
Hurry up!

Kelly Jo!

Come back here!

Come on, Auntie Nicky!

Excuse me! Out the way!

Listen to me now!

I'm going to k*ll her!

Erm, excuse me!

What on earth are you doing?!
It's all right, it's under control.

Kelly Jo, please, listen.

You can't just throw
money away like that.

I don't even want it any more!

Oi! Look!

The ugly sisters are
getting schooled.

You can't call 'em that, Kelly Jo!

I'm warning you, Kelly Jo!

I asked you to stop, right?

And you.

And you wouldn't.

So I'm going to get rid of the
thing that you love the most.

Say bye-bye!

Bye-bye!

DEBS SHRIEKS

MUSIC: Figure It Out
by Royal Blood

DEBS SHOUTS

What are you doing?

Debs! Debs, just leave it now!

This is so embarrassing.

What on earth is going on?

Any money, hand it to me!
Back to reception, now!

Right, everyone, inside, now!

You two, with me!

And you, come on.

Thank you.

Really?!

I-I cannot get over what I just saw.
CLICKING

Will you put that down?!

Kelly Jo, I thought
you'd turned a corner.

Well, it's not her fault, is it?

This is down to me and Debs.

Do you know what? I agree with you.

I mean, Debs, it's your first day.

Could be the shortest job on record.

It's not. No. No.

Oh, I'm...

Right, you're both on a warning.

And in your case, Nicky...
PHONE CHIMES

..it could be your last.

BELL RINGS

Oh! Oh...

DOOR OPENS

Er, no, sorry, did I...?

I've just spoken to Steve.

And he said you went out of you way

to smooth things over with Mrs Sumi,

so now I see that you were
trying to stick up for me

without making it obvious that
you were sticking up for me.

Caught on, did you?

You are very smart.

And I know that you were
born to be deputy head.

I don't think so.

Mr Suited and Booted from the
other school is bound to get it.

Well, I don't think they could
have anyone better than you.

Thank you.

DOOR OPENS

Coral, can I have a word?

Here we go.

SHE SIGHS

I'm sorry...

..but you have got the job.

I've got the job?

Yeah, you got it.

I got...

I got the job! Yeah, yeah!

LAUGHTER

Oh, oh...
Ooh, I'm going in for the neck.

Call me Deputy.
Ooh, vive la France...

N-no. No. No.

Ugh.

Where is he, eh?

SINGSONG: Looo-ser!

Looo-ser!

I don't think he's coming.

Bwaaawk! Buck-buck-buck-buck!
Bwa-kaaawk!

Billy!

Look, please, don't do this.

No, cos maybe if I do, then...

..then, you know, that'll be it.

He'll leave me alone.

Listen to me. You are making this
so much worse for yourself.

Just back out! It's not too late!

Oi, Billy boy!

No, Billy...

Billy, don't! Billy!

LOUD CHATTER AND LAUGHTER

Hold him, hold him.

Bring him down.

Hold him, hold him. That's it.

Oh, Billy, have you no shame?

That's disgusting.

SHUTTER CLICKS

Head's here. Head's here.

Hey! What the hell's going on?

You're suspended!

You know, I've still got that 20.

Do you want a takeaway?

What?! Nothing.

Yo, legend!

Yeah? Yeah!

I cannot believe you
actually did that.

Yeah, well, I was sick of 'em.

Oh, yeah, and now there's no money,

there's nothing for them
to argue about, so...

Well...

..I got what I could.

Right, I, erm...

..wouldn't say there
wasn't ANY money.

KELLY JO CHUCKLES

I guess the best hottie won.

Thank you.

Erm...do want to come
to the pub with us?

Mm... Don't know.

Oh, come on.

Hey, it'll be my treat.

I've come into some money.

Have you? Yeah, heh-heh.

I'll get us a bottle of champagne.

Ooh, champagne?

Er, actually...

Wait, what? It was all fake?

No, no, no, so...so the first few
notes were real,

but then the rest of it was
toy money from the pound shop.

LAUGHTER

Yeah. I just wanted to
teach them a lesson, you know?

You don't think I was stupid,
doing that, do you?

No. Our mums are going to
speak to each other

at some point, eventually.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, they always do.
Yeah.

So, come on, are you not
going to ask me

where the rest of the money is?

Where is it?
Where's the real money, Kelly Jo?

Well, lucky dip.

Tonya, feel that.

Preston.

Ta-da!

What? Go on, hurry up.

Preston, open it. Preston, open it.

PRESTON GASPS, TONYA SCREAMS

Are you mad?!

Are you taking the mick?!

Yeah. Oh, my God.

This is the most money I've ever
seen in my entire life.

I could...I could buy a better
guitar with this. Show Noel up.

Oh, well, you're not
spending it, so...

Wait, what?

Yeah. Mate, you've changed.

Yeah.

What are we supposed
to do with it, then?

I really think we should put
it away, towards our futures.

How boring! Well, my future
could be...a good guitar.

Oh, no. Mm. OK. OK, OK. Look...

..this money, this money's a chance
for us to have a better life, right?

You can't just spend it
on trainers and booze.

Yous could actually do
something with it, yeah?

So...

..I really think that this is
what Nana would have wanted.

Yeah? For the three of us
to have a better life.

A-greeeed?

PRESTON IMITATES VOICE

Agreed? Come on, come on! Go on!

All right! A-greeed.

A-greeed! So, to a better future...

..and to Nana.

To a better future and to Nana.

To Nana! Nana! To Nana! Thank you.

Thank you. Yeah! Yo, you're actually
a genius, you know. You're rich!

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Last one home's a smelly loser!

You're still buying me a chippie!

LAUGHTER

HE BREATHES HEAVILY

I heard.

Are you OK?

That was a day from hell, that.

What sort of dad doesn't
know his son's being bullied?

Has Billy said anything?

Not a word,
but I'll talk to him later.

So, you don't know who's involved?

They saw me before
I saw them and scarpered.

I suspended Stacey Neville, though.

Good. She's a right one.

Joe said the same thing
about you and your sister.

Yeah... Er... Listen, I prob...

I wanted to say sorry about that.

People don't realise
the kind of baggage

the likes of us bring, you know?

I remember thinking that, when
I have kids, I'm going to give

'em a great life.

I'm going to protect them.

And that with Billy today,
it just...

I've failed him, haven't I?

Hey, no, you haven't.

I felt like that with Preston.

His mental health was so bad.

When I look back over that now,
I can't believe we got through it.

But you did.

Yeah, we did.

And so will you.

Did you enjoy that?

Well, there's plenty more
where that came from.

TRICKLING

I'll see you next week, pal.

Right, well, I should probably go.

Erm...Debs told Donte about us.

How did he take it?

Yeah, not well.

Seems I'm not the only one
having the day from hell.

Erm...listen, I know it looked like
we were scrapping over me mum's

money, but we weren't.

Debs said that, erm...

..Mum stopped drinking after I left,

which is why I was so mad.

Don't let her do that.

Her drinking wasn't your fault.

The thing is, though,
she did stop after I left.

And I think she stopped for Debs.

Obviously, I...I wasn't enough.

Hey...

..how could you not be enough?

HE SCOFFS

Babe! Babe, wait!

You're fast when you're mad.

I'm not mad.

OK, all right, maybe I am mad.

I just can't believe you
weren't honest with me!

I mean, what is it, you still got
feelings for the guy or summat?

No! Absolutely not!

Then what?!
Look, I shouldn't have lied to you.

I just was scared...

Scared? Scared of what? Me?

Of losing you.

You're the best thing that's
ever walked into my life,

and I know it sounds stupid.

I just...

I was scared that,
if I told you about me and Ste,

everything would just
get really awkward

and I just didn't want
anything to change.

I think the world of you, Nick.

I mean, Tonya, she even
said that she'd be happy

if we got married one day.

What?

Ah, don't worry,
I won't be doing that to you now.

If you ask me, I'll say yes.

What?

In fact, if you're
not going to ask me...

What are you doing?

Just come here, please.

I love you...

..more than I've ever loved
anyone my whole life.

Donte Charles...

..will you marry me?

Come here.
SHE CHUCKLES

Sorry, son.

You OK?

Going to tell me who's
doing this to you?

It's no-one.

I can't help you unless you

tell me what's going on, son.

STEVE SIGHS
Fine.