01x19 - PSA-Lister // Friend or Faux

[bunniefuu]

♪ [theme music plays] ♪

[sniffing]

I'm McSniff,
the Crime Prevention Poodle.

Help me sniff out
crime before it happens.

[slams]
[groans]

And together we can
"Bite Crime in the Butt!"

And cut! That's a wrap!

Did it in one take.

As usual McSniff,
you're the best.

So, SheZow.
You ready to try being

a public service spokeswoman?

I don't know.
It looks kinda stup--

[screaming]

pendous. Stupendous.
Cool! Yeah! Let's roll!

Hi I'm SheZow,
with a very important

public service announcement.

We've got gum
on our sidewalks...

Ugh.

Junk in our trunks.

And boogers in our books.

Join me in cleaning
up Megadale and

together we can
"Put a stop to the slop."

And cut!

Wow, SheZow, babe,
that was stellar.

If you're not careful,

you're gonna be our
next big PSA-Lister.

Don't tell her that,
she'll get a big head.

Whoa! Way to get zowie with it.
You were totally awesome, dude.

Did you just call SheZow a dude?

Congratulations, SheZow!

Not bad for a beginner.

Yeah, I was pretty good, huh?

Oh, but SheZow
could never even dream

of being as good
as you are, McSniff.

Of course not. I've been
a performer my whole life, kid.

I started in the circus.

Oh, brother.

Whoa. What is all this stuff?

Uh. It's called mail. It was
very popular before e-mail.

Ha! It's fan mail.

Ooh, here's one from me,
McSniff.

Of course Kelly's a fan.
She's such a dork.

Oh, and I sent this one,
McSniff. You're my McHero.

Seriously?

Well, thanks kids.

May I present you with a McSniff
Junior Crime Fighter Badge?

- Whoa.
- Thank you.

Well, here are some super duper
SheZow tights for you kids.

- Really?
- Cool.

Well, here's a McSniff
magnifying glass for you kids.

Well, here's a SheZow
sweat band.

Here's a McSniff
fingerprint kit.

How about some go-go boots.

Or trench coats.

I have comic books.

I have a public television
series, podcasts, a web channel,

mobile games and apps!

Whoa. That's big.

And don't you forget it, toots.

I'm top dog of the airwaves.
Not you.

We'll see about that.

Hi, kids. I'm McSniff ,
the crime prevention poodle.

And together,
we can bite crime...

in the butt.

Hi, I'm SheZow with Team
Clean Sweep in Megadale.

And together we're putting
a stop to the slop.

[all cheering]
Go SheZow!

Cheering is fun!

Yay!

[sobbing]

This is Brian Smirk
with our top story.

SheZow's public service
announcement

is cleaning up the airwaves.

Everywhere you look,
people are getting

involved in working to
"stop the slop."

Now there's our
brand new PSA-Lister.

Are you ready to
sh**t a new PSA?

Most def. Let's do it.

I was thinking we could start
with a close-up on me.

Then get even closer on me as...

[phone ringing]
Oh, excuse me,
I need to take this.

Sorry to interrupt your
work as a thespian, SheZow,

but we have a She-Mergency.

What is it?

Megadale has been hit
with a sudden crime wave.

No, I mean, what is a thespian?

Look it up.

[glass breaking]

Ballistic Fishnets!

Uh! Oh, she-riffic.

Stop right there.

Uh huh. Gotcha.

What?

[sniggering]

[coughing]

This is she-diculous.

Uh-oh. SheZow. Say hello
to my little friend.

Laser Lip! Whoa. Huh?

You looking for something?

Yeah. I'm looking to give you
a heavy-handed super she-slap!

[alarm sounds]

[sirens wailing]

Wait! Stop! Hold on!

No way.
Not my sweet ride.

Dude, get up!

Crime doesn't sleep,
so you can't either.

Why is there suddenly
so much crime?

Because McSniff
has gone missing.

- What?
- You heard me.

This is Mcterrible.

- You can say that again.
- Don't wanna.

It appears that McSniff's
crime prevention campaign

really did
bite crime in the butt.

Yeah, and now crime
is biting mine.

Look! The whole city's
blowing up with crime.

We've gotta find McSniff McFast.

I think it's time for a
little she-tective work.

Yeah! Let's sniff him out.

Whoa, dude, who are you,
whack-a-doodle doo?

Nope. I'm McMaz, the McAwesome
McCrime-fighting McDude.

Megadale's newest McHero.

McSeriously?

So, when was the last
time you saw McSniff?

- Two days ago. He was crying.
- What did he say?

[bawling]

Did he say anything else?

Yes, he blamed you for
ruining his career.

- Oh.
- SheZow! Hurry! Come quick!

Whoa. This looks
like a crime scene.

Really? What gave it away?

This note.

"Do not search for the poodle."

[gasps]
Oh no, McSniff's been McNabbed.

[screams]

Look!

His trademark collar.
He never takes this off.

Oh no! Look!

Poodle fur!

Oh no! Look!

A leg!

- Dude, that's a stick.
- Oh.

This is the perfect
crime scene, isn't it?

Yeah. A little too
perfect if you ask me.

Huh?

Security camera footage
from the studio

is the last known
sighting of McSniff.

Whoa, Sheila, wait, go back.

Interesting.

She-mazing.

- What is it? A clue?
- Maybe.

Sheila. Freeze on the driver.

Now magnify the face.

Ooh, this is fun.

Ah-ha.

A clown?

This could only mean one thing.

That clowns are really scary
and disturbing because

they eat all your cake at
your third birthday party

and when you sit on their
lap they smell like beef?

[sighs]

No.

[all cheering]

Man: Let's hear it for
the Amazing Trixi!
His name says it all!

Wow, he's great!

Eh, I could do better. Meet
me backstage in five minutes.

I mean, meet SheZow backstage.

Uh. You haven't seen any
clowns anywhere, have you?

- Just one.
- Huh! Where?

Seriously. How scary
could a clown be, Maz?

Well, at my third
birthday party....

Ta-da!

Doggie. Woof woof.

It's not a dog, kid,
it's a deer.

Oh, great.

I'm a failure.
Even as a clown.

Oh. Just horrible.

[snoring]

Oh, I'm sorry,
did you say something?

I'm the Amazing Trixi now,

and I'm never going back
to being McSniff.

Is that why you created
the perfect crime scene?

To fake your own disappearance?

It was pretty perfect,
wasn't it?

Of course it was. You're
McSniff, the Crime Poodle.

That's why we need you.

Crime rates have skyrocketed
through the roof.

I can't handle all of it without
your crime prevention methods.

Well, maybe you should've
thought of that before you

elbowed me outta the public
service spotlight, SheHog.

Whoa. PSA Diva.

Look. If I promise to never do
another PSA, will you come back?

No. Never. I belong here in the
circus with people I can trust.

Good, I just wanted to
make sure.

What?

Say hello to your replacement.

I'm McMaz, the McAwesome
McCrime-fighting McDude.

Megadale's newest McHero!

McStop!

McGive me that!

Nobody's gonna jack up
my Mclegacy. McHit it!

♪ [rapping] ♪

When crime rates are up
and safety is down

and criminals take
over your McTown.

Just slap on a badge,
put a cap on your nut.

Do like McSniff and
bite crime in the Butt.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

[McSniff] When the bad guys
are loose like a dog
from the pound.

[Kelly]
Just hop on their trail.

Start sniffin' around.

- We'll catch them.
- We'll charge them.

We'll take them downtown.

Yo, I'm McSniff and
my best friend's a clown.

[screams]

Hurry up already,
the convention's about to start.

[coughing]
Oh, really?

Hold your heels,
I'm almost done.

Come on. Like it really matters.

Everything I
do for you matters.

I spent weeks
setting up this event.

I made sure every
detail is perfect.

The least you can do
is acknowledge that.

Uh-huh. Yeah. Whatever.

[cheering]

[whispering]
Ladies and gentlemen
of the press...

Oh yeah, yeah. "Ladies and
gentlemen of the press.

Welcome to SheZowathon!"

Any questions for me?

SheZow, over here.

I'm desperate.

My arm hurts!

Let's go with Brian Smirk.

How does it feel to vanquish

every single villain
in Megadale?

All by yourself?

Oh, Brian, I don't
do it all by myself.

Most villains are so dense they
practically arrest themselves.

[laughing]

I mean take Tara, for example.

It was so easy catching her.

I practically did it with one
hand tied behind my back.

Catching me was easy, was it?

Well, not this time!
You are going down, missy!

But there is someone out there
I really need to thank.

My fans.

Without you,
none of this would matter.

I owe everything to you,
and no one else.

With the cutting of this ribbon,
I hereby declare

SheZowathon officially open!
Scissors?

What was I supposed to say,

"Oh, hey Brian, I just wanna be
totally up front with all the

members of the press
by explaining
how my sister helped."

Well, you could
have said something.

Do you have to hog the spotlight
every second of your life?

Hello? It's my spotlight!

You totally take me for granted!

Ugh. Don't be such a drama
queen. Get in the car.

Come on, Kelly. Get in.

- No.
- I don't take you for granted.

Oh, really?
Then tell me this.

- When's my birthday?
- Um...

Here. I'll give you a hint.
We're twins!

Really? Wow.

You have no idea how much
I do for you.

Well, guess what?

You're about to find out.
I quit!

Fine! Who needs you anyway!

Oh, great.

Aw. This is bad.

The SheHicle will be okay.
No thanks to Guy's driving.

No. I meant Kelly quitting.

Chillax. Who needs her anyway?

We do. The convention
already started.

Who's gonna run
the costume contest?

I spent days
getting mine just right.

We'll get a new Kelly.
SheZow has millions of fans.

I'll just post a want ad
on the fan site, and...

Bingo. Got one already.
Her name is Anita Job.

[doorbell ringing]

Hello. I hear you're looking
for a new fan club president?

Yeah, we'll take it from here.
Thanks. You're not needed.

So what did SheZow do the
time she battled señor Yo Yo
on the train?

Tied him up with his own string.

When was this picture taken?

The time SheZow
out-mocked Mocktopus,

then trapped him in her
ballistic fishnets.

What does the birthmark on
her left calf resemble?

Abraham Lincoln.

Wow, you know everything
about SheZow.

I'm her biggest fan.

How do you feel about sidekicks?

An integral part of
SheZow's success.

Oh! Love her.

But really I just love SheZow
'cause she's the best hero ever.

You're hired.

Don't worry. When
it comes to SheZow,

no one knows her better than me.

We need more hot dogs
for the snack bar.

There's two people fighting over
action figures at booth seven.

The costume contest begins
promptly at three o'clock.

And no, I don't think you
have a chance of winning.

I told you we don't need Kelly.

- You should go change.
- Into what?

SheZow? You're judging
the costume contest? Remember?

Oh, yeah. I forgot.

Kelly usually reminds me
when it's time to do
that kinda stuff.

My SheZow number one is
more mint than yours.

Mine has been graded
as ultra-pristine mint

by the SheZow Grading Society.

You're making that up.
There is no such thing
as ultra-pristine mint.

- Uh- huh.
- Na-huh.

Get a life or
I'll rip those comics up!

Don't feel bad.
The ultra-pristine mint grading

just went into effect
last month.

"Stand back SheZow! I
will she-stroy you!"

"Oh no you don't, evil Tara.

You're the lamest villain
I know. Take that."

Look, how adorable. Oops.

Excuse me.
That was a total breach
of fan club presidency protocol.

Yeah, whatever.
If you'll excuse me,
I have an evil plan to hatch--

Hey!

Let me outta here!
You're no SheZow fan!

Au contraire. I am about
to be her only fan.

Wait a minute. I recognize
that annoying laugh.

You're Tara! Don't deny it!

Why would I deny it?
I want everyone to know.

I am the greatest hero
that ever lived, and soon

all of SheZow's fans
will be mine.

What are you talking about?

Hidden in the trophy
is a shrink b*mb.

And when it goes off,
boom, zap, every fan
in the convention center

will be shrunken down to
fit into this pickle jar.

Then, they'll be my fans.
Forever!

[laughing maniacally]

You're telling me
your whole plan?

I've been dying to tell someone.

It's such an awesome
plan, don't you think?

You should get
that snort checked out.

Oh, what do you know?

Super Slimy Snot Shot!

Eww! Disgusting!

It is, I know.

Such a terrible power,
especially when I accidentally
get some on me.

But you play the powers
you're dealt.
Boogers can't be choosers!

Oh! Ooh, these things really
ride up. Now I know why
they call them tights.

I'm gonna go change into
some looser ones. Okay?

Okay, but hurry! I'm getting
some weird She-S-P about Anita.

She kinda creeps me out.

There you are, our star
attraction. What an honor.

Your presence is
needed on the stage.

[cheering]

Welcome, fans!

Great day for a costume contest.

But before I start,
who wants to hear

all about the time I fought
Megamonkey on Mount Megadale?

Maz, is that you?

What are you doing? Testing
the fake Tara boogers?

No Maz, these are
real Tara boogers.

- And Anita is really Tara!
- What?

Tara's here to steal
SheZow's fans.

We have to stop her.

Ugh! Get me outta here.

But those are real boogers.

Can't you get down by yourself?

- No!
- Are you sure?

Maz, un-booger me now
or I promise,
when I get outta here I will--

Thank you.

And so, with a burst of my
super speed, I beat him.

And for my next story--

Okay, okay. Enough with
the "bories", I mean, stories.

Line up so SheZow can
pick a winner already.

Oh, I like your collar,
nice beautility belt

shiny hair, cool boots--

Okay. Judging's over.

You. You win. Here's the trophy.

Just give me a couple of minutes
to vacate the premises.

Stop right there, Tara!

[gasps]

How did you know?

Because I have She-S-P.

SheZow! Anita locked me
in a closet. She's really--

Tara, yeah, I got that.
I was just waiting to uncover
her evil plot.

That trophy is a shrink b*mb!

Really? Thank you, Kelly.

You're welcome.

Looks like you're foiled again,
Tara. Give up?

Are you kidding? Not
without a good ol' fight.

Super Slimy Snot Shots!

Keep your boogers
off my fans, Tara!

Mascara Whip Lash!

[Tara screaming]

Turbo tech Tara Blasters.

[laser g*n shots]

- Stop it.
- You started it.

Ah, my make-up.

Looks like somebody's
having a bad day.

Au contraire, mon ami.
You're the one who's about
to have a bad day.

A bad hair day!

My hair! My powers!

You think you feel bad now. Wait
until I take all of your fans!

I won't let you do this, Tara.

Ha! You couldn't stop
a fly right now, honey.

Uh-oh.

SheZow! Here!
She-Lac super hairspray!

Thanks. I needed that.
And I need you.

I know.

Nobody puts my fans in
a pickle jar, Tara!

Oh, why don't you just stuff it.

That's a great idea.

What happened to me, SheZow?

Kelly, the trophy! Quick!

I'll get you for this, SheZow.

Even if it's
the last thing I do!

It may be the last thing you do.

Maz! High five!

Yes! You did it, SheZow!

We did it.
Today we are all SheZow!

[all cheering]

Wow. That was almost as good as

the ending to SheZow
volume three, book two,
the second edition.

You really do
need to get a life.

♪ [theme music plays] ♪