01x04 - Way of the Fish Lips / the Golden Paddleball

[bunniefuu]

[Big band style music plays]

♪♪♪

♪ Doop-dah!

♪ Dooby-doo-wah!

♪ Doop-dah! Dooby-doo-wah! ♪

♪ Doo-boo doo-bah-bah dow!

♪ Dooby-doo-dah dah bah-dah-dah dee-bah ♪

♪ Dah-dah dee-bah-dee-bah dah-bee-dah ♪

♪ Bah-dee-dah dah-dah dah deedle-dah oh! ♪

♪ Oh yeah! Yeah!

♪ Dah-dah doo-yah dah-dah-dah dah-bah-dah-bah doh! ♪

[Thunder of stampeding feet]

Excuse me!

Excuse me! Who are you?

Did you wipe your feet when you came in?

♪♪♪

[Sweatband snaps]

[Glove snaps]

[Clicks]

[Buzzing]

[Latch clicks]

Scaredy: [sniffs]

[String twangs]

Who's ready to paddle?

[Ball thumps]

Seriously, anyone ready to paddle?

Anybody?

Sally: he got the spirit!

He got the spirit!

Let me hear you say, "what!"

Let me hear you say, "paddleball!"

Go wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-whoa paddle!

Hi, sally.

Oh hi, scaredy!

I didn't know you hung out here.

You're really good at paddleball.

Where is everyone?

I think they're all checking out the big game.

Game? There isn't a paddleball game.

[Horn blows]

[Crowd cheers]

[Ping-pong ball thumps]

[Spectators cheer] yeah! Go! Yeah!

[Records scratch]

Ping-pong?

Hah! Yaah!

They don't even use an elastic!

Barbaric!

[Ball whooshes]

[Crowd cheers]

Yaaaaah!

[Flames crackles]

[Laughs]

[Fire roars]

Ulp!

[Fans cheer loudly]

Yeah! Ha ha ha!

Spectators: yeah! Yeah!

Ooh!

Dave: that was a whole bag of awesome!

Yeah, okay, ping-pong is pretty cool,

But- extreme cage match!

Extreme cage match ping-pong

Is pretty cool,

But nothing beats the p-ball, right?

Am I right?

Holla!

[Paddle ball thumps]

Rex: [laughs]

Look, a paddleball player!

What's the matter?

Ping-pong too dangerous for you?

Need a little elastic band to save you?

[Laughs]

Scaredy: the elastic is actually-

Rex: oh! I wish I could pong!

But my mommy says I have to piddle paddle!

[Rex's friends laugh]

Scaredy: he doesn't know what he's talking about!

Check it out!

The research is clear!

Elastic bands prevent 42 percent

Of all ball related injuries.

Three out of four dentists agree.

Dentists!

That rex just isn't smart enough

To realize how lame ping-pong is.

Seriously! Lame city.

Lame-o-tropolis.

Lame-topia!

Lame...

Rex: well, well, well.

Oh. Heh!

[Nervous laugh]

I wasn't talking about you,

I mean some other... Totally not you.

Heh heh heh...

[Wood splinters]

[Wheezes]

I don't like you!

Dave: hey, stop it!

Hi-yah! Agh! Agh! Oh!

Oof! [Whimpering]

Grrrr!

Haaaaai-yaaaahhhh!

Put down the squirrel.

Rex: huh? Dave: wha?

[Wheezes]

Prepare for...

Fish-fu!

Hoo! Ha!

[Groans]

Super rainbow trout punch!

Rex: oww!

Wow.

The next time I see you around

Without your girlfriend...

[Chomps]

[Grunts, frightened]

Rex: I'm going to get you, squirrel!

Phew! You saved my life!

Did you hear what he said?

Yeah, I cannot be alone with that guy.

Ever. He called me your girlfriend!

That's silly!

That's just ridiculous, right?

Hold me. Little tight.

[Mumbling] I got him, scaredy.

Don't worry, I got him.

[Ball thumps]

[Booming footsteps]

Raaaah!

Ahhhhhhhhh!

Rex: [growls]

Hiyaaaaaah!

Ahhhhhhhhh!

[Clucks like a chicken]

[Mustard splats]

[Cart rattles]

Grrrrr!

[Button beeps]

[Chomps noisily]

Argh!

Hey, rex, I think you dropped something.

[Rex growls under his breath]

Grrr!

[Birds chirp]

[Deep gurgling noises, scaredy gasps]

Grrrr!

Ahhhhhhhh!

Ahhhhhh! Ahhhhhh!

Ahhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhh!

[Both scream]

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

[Both screaming repeatedly]

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

Scaredy: wait, why are you screaming?

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

[All screaming]

[Toilet flushes] rex: huh?

Rex: ahhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhh!

See 'ya later, rex!

Nice work.

What were you doing in my shower?

I can explain that.

[Cars rumble, horns honk]

Ahhhhhhh...

And...

[Refreshed sigh] ah! That's the spot.

Great practice today, buddy!

You were extra paddley out there.

Scaredy: I'm relaxed! No more worries.

[Gasps] the inter-gym marginal sports expo-athon

Sign up sheet is here!

The inter-gym a margarine-a-thon?

Yeah! I'm gonna sign up to demonstrate paddle ball

To the whole gym!

But scaredy, rex has signed up, too!

Scaredy: I don't have to worry with sally around.

Sally: hey, scaredy.

Oh hi, sally. I drew a picture for ya!

That's nice. Wha?!

Don't you love me- it!

Don't you love it? I said it!

What happened to your fins?

Um...

[Ladder creaks]

[Plaster splats]

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoaaaa! Whoa!

Sprained fin! Sprained fin!

Art tragedy.

You can still do fish-fu, right?

With the choppy choppy?

Oh, yeah.

Hee-yaah!

Ouch!

Sally: no! Scaredy: but-but-but...

No!

Wow. You signed up next to rex.

That takes guts.

No, no! I have no guts. See?

You could just not show up.

And let down the entire sport of paddleball?

[Sighs] I guess this is it.

Wait! You could learn fish-fu.

[Gasps] you would teach me?

I can't, but I know someone who can.

Grand master catfish.

All right, you ready?

Sally: helmet! Scardey: check.

Sally: air hose! Scaredy: check.

Sally: locket you can cherish forever?

Scaredy: I don't think this is enough equipment to-

Whoa!

Aren't you coming with me?

Can't! Casts!

[Gurgled scream]

[Sonar pings]

[Lands with a crash]

Wha?

[Gasps]

Ow!

Oh, sorry.

[Gasps] you must be grand master catfish!

I have so many questions!

I just need to know-

[Muffled] wow.

[Gong reverberates]

Scaredy: I get it!

This is where I chop wood with my bare paw!

Yaaaaah!

But what about the super awesome fish-fu?

Grand master catfish: just saw.

Scaredy: unh!

Grand master catfish: no...

You must be one with your inner lumberjack.

I don't see what this has to do with-

[Gasps]

[Saw clangs like a gong]

[Wrench clangs]

[Gong clangs]

[Light buzzes]

Pretty good, right?

What? No!

You're just screwing in a light bulb.

Don't get fancy.

That's pretty awesome!

But I'm way too slow.

Patience.

Your time will come.

Time to move and groove!

But what about my patience?

My time! It needs to come!

Sally: too late! No time for patience!

Scaredy: but time is the most important part of patience!

[Cars rumble]

Scaredy: I'm not ready!

Sally: your time is now.

[Gong clangs]

Seriously, I keep hearing this...

It's like a, a ringing sound.

Go get 'em, grasshopper!

Scardey: ahhhhhh!

Announcer: welcome to the inter-gym marginal sports expo-athon!

Featuring extreme hopscotch...

Chicken: I said hop, then scotch!

Move it, move it, move it!

Announcer: toboggan ice fishing...

[Crowd cheers]

Announcer: ultimate thumb wrestling...

One, two, three, four,

I declare a thumb w*r!

[Loud crack, crying]

Announcer: ping-pong!

[Crowd cheers wildly]

Phew!

Announcer: and some sport called paddleball.

Dave: hey, scaredy.

I signed up for the competitive eating demo.

I've been training my whole life for this!

[Gulps, munches]

Aren't you worried about rex?

Um...

[Loud stomping footsteps]

[Gasps] is she here?

Is the scary fish girl here?

Ha ha ha ha! Good.

Well, well, well.

I wasn't expecting...

This!

I'm right behind you!

Get me my pounding socks.

What do I do? What do I do?

You must be one with your inner lumberjack.

I'm still not sure that exactly applies.

Well, you know, you get the gist.

Raaah!

Ungh!

[Laughs cruelly]

[Straining grunt]

[Gasps] I'm...

I'm doing it!

Huh?

Hah! Hiyaaaaah!

Grrrrrr!

Grrrrrr!

[Splinters]

Wow! Look at me!

Yeah!

Please!

Rex: ahhhhhhh!

[Loud crash]

What are you doing sitting down on the job?

That scotch won't hop itself!

Hop scotch!

Hop scotch! Hop scotch!

[Gong clangs]

I knew you could do it!

You can go. [Ambulance siren wails]

Scaredy: it was amazing!

When I was underwater,

I was all like, glug, glug, glug.

But up here on land,

I was like hi-yaaah!

Waaaah! G-g-g-g-g-gah!

With the hooya, and the keeeyah!

Giant fish: oh hey, sally.

Hey, grand master catfish.

Master who-fish?

Giant fish: sorry I couldn't help out your boyfriend.

I had pilates.

Scaredy: what? But if you're the...

Then who was the little guy with the big cane?

Sally: oh, probably uncle carl.

He's always looking for someone to help him

With home renovations.

♪ Wah, wah, wah!

Hey, can you teach me some of the fish food moves?

Sure! Super rainbow trout punch!

Dave: ow!

Cool!

So, even though you can fend for yourself,

We could still hang out, right?

Like all the time?

[Giggles] forever?

[Giggles] forever works!

Okay? Okay!

[Giggles] cool!

♪♪♪

[Birds chirp]

[Air horn blasts]

Let's get ready to paddleball!

Don't just sit there, richard!

It's the paddledogs' season opener!

[Horn blares]

Whoo hoo!

All set, and just...

One day to go.

[Owl hoots]

[Rooster crows]

Dave: yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yaaaaaaa!

Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yaaaaaaa!

Hey, dave! Whoa!

[Furniture crashes]

[Glass shatters]

Uh...

[Panting]

Come on! The pre-pre-pre-game show

Is about to start!

[Tv clicks on]

Commentator: are you ready?

It's time for paddleball night

In balsa city!

Tonight, it starts...

Right...this....very...second!

[Glass shatters]

Scaredy and dave: wow!

Commentator: after these messages.

Welcome to the paddleball revolution.

[Gasps]

[Roars]

[Monkey screeches]

[Bull bellows]

The mach ii golden ultra elite turbo paddleball ball!

Power is golden!

I need that paddleball!

I need that turtleneck!

Scardey: guaranteed to improve bounciness by 14 percent!

Dave, with this ball,

I'll totally ace my qualifiers tomorrow.

Dave?

Dave: I wonder if you need a neck to pull that off?

One mach ii golden ultra elite turbo paddleball please!

Eh! Step aside, big cheeks.

Yo, hook me up with some golden ultra, man!

The best needs to be seen with the best.

Always!

[Laughs] the m2 g.u.e.t.p.?

We sold out 13 seconds after they went on sale!

Wha-wha-what? I have a huge game tomorrow!

I can't live with 14 percent less bounciness!

Maybe you don't know who I am.

Shopkeep: you're the president of the mullet club for men?

Booya grandpa!

Wait, you can't be sold out!

I saw one in the window!

That's the display model and it's spoken for.

Guy's coming by at 4 o'clock to pick it up. Yeah.

Aw, pine nuts!

Shopkeep: unless one of you wants to buy it first...

For fifty bucks.

Scaredy and paddy: fifty bucks?

Hmm...

Fine!

[Bell on door rings]

Please can I have some more work to do today?

Please, please, please, please, please?

Nuh-uh!

Tuesday is my scaredy free day!

But look how much I can get done!

[Cash register dings]

[Mop splashes]

[Price tag g*n clicks]

See how I can- ahhhhhhhhhhhh!

[Cans clatter]

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

[Laughs nervously]

Waaaaah!

Here, just- I'll pay you to leave,

Okay?

[Mop splats]

Everything's coming up scaredy!

Pssst! Ahhhh! Wanna buy a watch?

Cuckoo clock? Microwave oven?

[Microwave beeps]

Pizza bagel?

Officer: [clears throat]

Ahhhhhh! [Laughs]

Ahhhhhh!

Ow!

Scaredy: sound advice!

Twenty-five cents!

I can't remember where I left my hat.

Scaredy: hmmm...

It's under your couch.

And try drinking a peanut smoothie.

[Horn honks]

I drank too much peanut smoothie!

What should I do?

Paddy: step right up! Step right up!

One dollar to stare into my gorgeous eyes.

His eyes are so gorgeous!

They're like cold, blue oceans

In a sea of uncaring.

Ah, ah, ah!

The hair's gonna cost ya extra.

[Sighs]

[Car engine revs]

Huh?

[Metal detector beeps]

Hah!

Ahh!

[Motors rev]

[Music thumps loudly]

[Cars rumble]

[Panting]

[Applauding slowly]

Clap is cheap!

[Motor revs]

[Smack] hah!

[Tires screech]

[Engine revs]

[Bell on door jingles]

Ow!

Ha! Everything's coming up scaredy!

That's not enough.

Huh?

Hah-hah!

Chew on that!

That's not enough either.

I know, right.

Who in the what in the who's in the hopsco- wha?

[Whimpers]

Hmm... Okay,

We could combine our money,

And oh...

Buy the ball together?

Me and you?

Don't think so. Come on!



That is one well placed clock.

[Teeth chattering]

Fine!

Money, money, money, money!

Scaredy: uh...

Obviously, I'm gonna use it for the first day,

And then you'll use it for a day, or somethin'.

Why do you get it first?

I touched it first, cashew for brains!

Fine! I'll make up a time share schedule.

My qualifying match is tomorrow,

So as long as i-

[Bell on door jingles]

See you tomorrow!

Please adhere to the schedule!

Okay?

Are you sure this one fits better?

It's kinda tight around the- [gasps]

You okay?

Nobody said turtlenecks would be easy.

Hit me again, bernard!

[Cars rumble]

[Loud thumping music plays]

Paddy: whoo, yeah!

You're the man, paddy!

You're the man! Ooh-aaaah!

What's this? Oh, I don't know... Nothing!

Just my golden paddleball!

Oh h*!

Ha! Ka-zap! Yeah, pop it!

[Coughing]

What're you doing here? Time to switch.

Nuh-uh-uh-uh! You said tomorrow!

I said that yesterday.

Exactly. But tomorrow's today!

You are a confused little squirrel, aren't you?

Yah!

Okay, how about this?

I have it for two days,

Then you have it for two.

No! My game is today!

Paddy: fine. Four and four?

That's not how this works!



Paddy!

Come on!

Why don't you use your regular ball?

I want to be awesome!

Okay, okay.

I'll tell ya what.

[Laughs]

[Angry scream]

♪♪♪

Ahhhh!

Paddy: [gasps] scaredy: thhhhhpppppttttt!

Paddy: hah!

[Ball bounces]

Achoo!

[Paddy and scaredy gasp]

[Ball bounces]

[Cars rumble]

[Bus rumbles]

Paddy and scaredy: ahhhhh! Yahhhhh!

Outta the way! Move it! Come on!

Hey, don't look at the eyes!

[Gasps]

[Water splashes]

[Gasps]

[Brakes squeal]

[Ball splats]

Ahhhhhhhhhh!

[Water splashes]

Ahhhhh!

[Footsteps thump]

[Panting]

[Slurps] yuck!

Tastes like paddleball.

What? Are you serious?

Paddy: see 'ya, sucker!

I don't think that's safe.

Paddy: ha ha ha ha, no wonder they call you scare-

[Splat] oh!

Scaredy: that's my name!

[Brush rustles]

Finally!

[Ball thuds]

[Ball thuds]

[Deflating hiss]

That's the worst paddleball I've ever tried!

Here, you can have it.

Nah, I don't want it.

Oh, hi scaredy.

I just spent eleven minutes

Having all sorts of hilarious adventures

That taught me that turtlenecks aren't as amazing

As they seem on tv.

What did you learn?

Nothing.

Tiger: [on tv] rrrrrroar!

Introducing the extreme pro paddleball glove max!

Now with sports grip.

Sporrrrrts grip!

[Commercial theme music plays]

Paddy and scaredy: hmm...

That hat is awesome!