04x01 - Store Trek / Safety Corner Conumdrum

[bunniefuu]

[Big band style music plays]

♪♪♪

♪ Doop-dah!

♪ Dooby-doo-wah!

♪ Doop-dah! Dooby-doo-wah! ♪

♪ Doo-boo doo-bah-bah dow!

♪ Dooby-doo-dah dah bah-dah-dah dee-bah ♪

♪ Dah-dah dee-bah-dee-bah dah-bee-dah ♪

♪ Bah-dee-dah dah-dah dah deedle-dah oh! ♪

♪ Oh yeah! Yeah!

♪ Dah-dah doo-yah dah-dah-dah dah-bah-dah-bah doh! ♪

[Thunder of stampeding feet]

You're too close to the tv! Back up a little.

A little more...

Watch out for the stairs!

♪♪♪

Scaredy: shelves perfectly stocked.

Cans perfectly coordinated.

Pickles perfectly pickled.

Ah, a little help.

There's got to be an easier way to eat pickles.

What's that?

My to-do list.

Last year, when mrs. Nestor's mother

Got back from disapproving mother camp,

She did a big store inspection and we did not do well.

[Flames roar, mrs. Nestor's mother growls]

[Heavenly choir sings]

Welcome back, mother.

Who made this orange so tiny?!

It's a clementine.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

[Thunder rumbles, loud thunderclap]

Fired! You're fired! Fired!

[Employees scream, terrified]

But with this list

That will not be happening again!

If you'll excuse me I have some work to do.

[Object clatters, shrill scream]

Nestor, are you okay?

Of course I am! Don't I look okay?!

Scaredy: uh, well... Not really, but uh...

Anyway, I've made a list of all the things-

Nestor: [whimpers] who cares?

We are all alone in this world.

Oh boy, this is not good.

Nestor?

Agghhh!

Nestor, what are you doing?!

The darkness is my only friend.

Nestor, we have to repaint the store

Before your mother gets back!

Millie! No, no, no! No warriors allowed!

Scaredy: that's new.

Relax, nestor.

I'm just here for some hoof polish.

Nestor: tough!

If I'm banned from the imagination warriors guild,

You're banned from my store!

Scaredy: what's the imagination warriors guild?

It's a club

Where we imagine we're warriors!

It's super fun!

No it's not! It's boring and dumb.

Shoo! Shoo! Shoo!

Millie: mooooo!

Scaredy: I'm really sorry you got banned from your club, nestor.

I know you don't want to talk about it,

But if you do-

[Sobbing] it was terrible!

Philmore: [singsongy] swords and spells, magic and elves,

Secret potions found on shelves.

Baaaa!

Nestor: hey, how about we change things up a little?

I can be captain nestor, astronaut.

No way.

We're the imagination warriors guild!

I say, today, we're astronauts!

Who's with me?

[Whistling]

Oh, is that how it is?

Because if that's how it is, then I'll just... Go

Play by myself!

Go! We don't need you!

Nestor: [sobbing]

And then I said "fine! I don't need you!"

And they all cried as I stormed off!

That must have been really tough.

Pfft! I'm fine.

Are you sure?

Totally!

Scaredy: okay. Good.

'Cause I made a list of all the things-

Wahhhhhhhh!

Ohhh-kay.

This is gonna need some fixin'.

Scaredy: [over pa] nestor, please report to the back of the store

For a special surprise!

[Shouts back] no!

Scaredy: [over pa] okay, but all these astronauts will be pretty disappointed

That they don't have a captain...

Astronauts?

Captain nestor,

Lieutenant scaredy at your service!

Captain nestor? Me?

You know it!

And what's a captain without his ship?

Hands off the spaceship;

That's what that stack is for.

Lady rabbit: but I want the space beans.

Welcome to the sos tidy, captain!

This is your crew!

Mr. Dave...

Aye aye, captain.

Scaredy: mildreddina...

[Belches]

Scaredy: and robo-gary!

Gary: what if I gotta pee?

Scaredy: robots don't pee.

[Blows whistle]

Your crew awaits their orders, captain!

Everyone, get to...

Astro-stations!

It's space time!

Dave: space: often dark and planety.

This is the story of the astro-ronauts

Aboard the sos tidy. [Clang]

[Angry growl]

[Rumbling]

Ahhhhhhh!

[Wind gusts]

[Crash]

[Roaring]

[Button beeps, whirring]

[Farts]

The universe is once again safe,

Thanks to captain nestor estor-estor...

And then he was like, "ahhh! Help me, captain!"

It's true! I scream like a girl.

And I was like... Ha! Hoo! Ha-ha! Agh!

And I destroyed even more box aliens!

Now can you tell me where the jam is?

No.

Awesome day today, huh, captain?

Not bad, lieutenant! Not bad.

Great! 'Cause tomorrow we should really get the ship -

[Laughs] -

Ready for your mother's inspection.

You got it, lieutenant!

Okay. See you tomorrow!

[Rooster crows]

Scaredy: glad we got role playing outta nestor's system yesterday.

Nothing but smooooth sailing from here.

Aggghhhh!

[Panicked screaming]

Get out of here, alien intruders!

Nestor, what is going on?!

Lieutenant! You're alive.

We thought you'd been taken by the box aliens!

Oh no! Are you still pretending-

There was a sneak attack! They took the ship!

It was horrible!

Have you been here all night?

Captain, I found more box aliens in the back!

I'll take care of them!

[Grunts]

Dave! Not you, too!

Nestor, please,

If your mother sees the store like this,

She'll fire everyone!

[Gasps] I see.

Lieutenant scaredy is a box alien!

Get him!

Scaredy: agghhhh!

I can't believe we're all going to get fired

Just because nestor got kicked out of... His club!

Hello. Imagination warriors guild?

Millie?

Agghhh!

Philmore: caught an inta-ruuuuuder! We did does do him be it!

Mysterious raccoon: what is ye trespasser doing in our mystical forest

Of adventure-having?!

Hi. Scaredy squirrel.

I'm here because nestor is really-

Mysterious raccoon: that heretical rogue's name shall ne'er be spoke again!

He really needs you guys back.

Millie: oooooh!

Did he finally get over his astronaut obsession?

Scaredy: uh, not really...

But if you could just come to the store,

I think you'll see you're all on the same side.

Nestor: the box alien brought backup!

The crew of the sos tidy never backs down!

Neither does the imagination warriors guild!

Scaredy: warriors... Astronauts... Heh!

Can't we all just get along?

Don't you see,

Astronauts and warriors are the same!

They both explore new lands!

They both battle mythical creatures!

My point is, you're both playing the same game.

It's all imagination!

Raccoon: huh. He's right.

Gary: that seems like a fair assessment

Nestor: no way! We're not the same!

You kicked me out just for being an astronaut!

Millie: that's because astronauts are dumb

And warriors are not dumb.

Battle stations!

Mooooo!

Wait, what?! Everyone, stop!

Gary: asteroid attack! Bloop. Bloop.

Your asteroids are no match for my quarter staff!

Feel the power of my lasers!

[Laser blasts]

Carl: not if I sh**t you with my magical beams

Of focused light first!

Okay, now those are literally the same things!

Mildred: [belches loudly]

Eat melon, belch monster!

[Spitting seeds]

Moooo!

♪ Song of magic in the sky! ♪

Dave: tractor beam away!

Aaaggghhhhh!

Owwwwwwwww!

Dave! Listen to me! You have to stop!

I don't know...

Last time I listened to you,

I had to sit through an awful slideshow.

Was it really that bad?

That is the only thing that everyone here agrees on!

Dave, you're a genius!

Pfft! Yeah, tell me something no one knows.

[Rapid-fire spitting, swords clank]

Greetings! I am squirlicus spaciforous,

A time-travelling evil-doer!

Are you from the past or the future?

Scaredy: as a time traveller,

I am from both the past and the future!

I am here to destroy

All you astronauts and warriors!

Never!

Nestor, hoof him down!

Bawwwkkk!

Millie, now!

Say hello to my friend.

[Ribbits, starts spitting seeds]

Agh! Ooh! Ow!

You're - ow! - Working together!

Individually you are - ow! - Strong,

But together - ouch!

You are - [wham] - undefeatable!

You know, he has a point.

No one can defeat the past and the future.

Maybe we can mix the two.

Nestor, will you come back to the guild?

You can be an astronaut!

[Sobbing] that's all I ever wanted!

Awesome!

We still have 5 hours to clean this place up

Before mrs. Nestor's mother gets ba-

Momma: nestor!

What in the chirp is going on here?

Nestor: mother?! Scaredy: mrs. Nestor's mother,

Y-y-you're home so early!

Momma: ha-ha!

New trick I learned at disapproving mother camp!

Come with me!

[Squawks] whhhaaaa!

Millie: do you think nestor will be allowed to come

And play with us?

Momma: you're fired! And you're fired!

[Terrified screaming] oh, you are so fired!

You can stay.

Just kidding! You're fired!

[Chuckles] probably not today.

But maybe in... The future!

♪♪♪

Dave: ♪ it's scaredy squirrel's safety corner ♪

♪ Scaredy's in a corner and he's safe ♪

Today's safety corner is about mittens.

Mittens are unsafe because-

You could choke on them!

Scaredy: that's not what I was going to say, and it's-

[Dave chokes and gags]

Why would you- just tilt your-

Open! Open! Wider!

Dave, that was so dangerous!

Of course it was; it was a mitten.

I was going to say...

Mittens make it hard to dial 911.

I can't- it makes- see?

I dialled 845.

No one at 845 is gonna help.

Which is bad news if you're choking on a mitten.

No one is going to choke on a-

Fine!

Mittens are dangerous for many reasons.

We're out of time, so thanks-

Safety corner over!

Peace out!

[Splat] ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Millie: ooh! Look! A flying mit!

Agh! Choking! [Gagging]

Another safe-tastic episode!

I prefer it when you use the teleprompter.

How can you prefer something I've never done?

Episode 100.

All right! Stripped syndication!

Syndi-what?

I have no idea what I just said.

Scaredy: I wish there was a way for everyone in balsa

To see our safety corner videos.

Might make things safer!

Millie: gah! Still choking! Hellllp!

[Gasps] someone call 845!

[Scaredy hums]

Never use an airplane propeller to dice carrots!

Um, yeah, I agree.

Assume all bees are k*ller bees

Until they provide a doctor's note

Proving otherwise.

Am I right? [Giggling] what? Am I right?!

Normally, I don't talk to strangers on public transit,

But, yes, you're right.

This isn't my stop, but I'm gonna get out here.

[Dings bell]

[Humming]

Agghhhh!

Head sheep: we're wearing 3 layers of sunscreen.

The label says you only need one,

But the sun doesn't read labels!

You know, I've said those exact words myself!

We know! High-five, dude!

[Splat]

[Laughing]

Betcha think you're a big shot now, huh?

Oh, hi paddy. Nice helicopter.

Save it, acorn breath!

I hate your safety corner show.

I hate it!

Wait! How did you know about-

[Gasps] daaave!

Dave, somehow our video-

I put our videos on the internet!

Scaredy: I didn't know you could put videos on the internet...

With a toaster?

Whoa! We've already got 40 thousand views!

People are watching?

They're hearing my messages of safety!

[Phone rings]

Hello? Awesome!

That was balsa tv!

A producer named zandra ferret

Wants to meet with us tomorrow

And talk about putting safety corner on television.

Safety corner on tv?!

This is like a dream come true!

And she said there's going to be fruit platter!

Free fruit! On a platter!

Zandra: so what do you say? Sign the contract.

Do it now! Sign! Sign!

Ab-so-lutely!

Zandra: if you thought your show was big on the internet,

Just wait til it's on tv!

sh**ting starts tomorrow!

Oh boy! Yes!

Agh! Dave!

Oh my!

I thank you for my professionalism.

That'll come out.

You just need an alkaline solution,

Absorbent cloth, 300 lemons and a- yah!

I know, you love it. Say you do.

Just say it. Say you love it!

Scaredy: I do. I do love it. I really do!

Hey, scare, I did my own makeup.

Whoa!

I know; awesome face, I got one.

Okay. Here we go. In 3, 2...

[Buzzer buzzes]

Dave: ♪ it's scaredy squirrel's safety corner ♪

♪ Scaredy's in a corner and he's safe ♪

Scaredy: here we go! Wee-hee-hee!

My dream come true!

Scaredy squirrel is finally on television!

Singers: ♪ you'd better listen up or you'll be a goner ♪

♪ It's scaredy squirrel's safety corner ♪

What happened to the opening?

Hi, I'm scaredy squirrel and this is-

Safety corner.

And this is dave.

I said, "and this is dave!" Where's dave!

I, uh, don't...

Scaredy: condiment squeeze bottles can be- [static]

But are they safe? [Static]

Mustard is a common- [static] are they safe?

Ketchup can be- are they the-

No!

[Bell rings] you squish- [static]

Squirt- [static]

And you can- [static] my eye!

[Siren wails] my eye!

[Siren wails] my eye!

Whaaat?

Scaredy: stay safe!

Singers: ♪ you'd better listen up or you'll be a goner ♪

♪ It's scaredy squirrel's safety corner ♪

Dave: I was there, right?

Am I invisible on tv?

[Gasps] am I even real?

He can't hear you, dave,

You're just an imagination!

You were there.

We need to talk to zandra

Because that show won't make balsa safer at all!

What're you guys doin'?

Gary: packing up the danger!

After your show aired

The squeeze condiment companies got so many phone calls

They did a recall.

Really? My show did that?

Gary: and you're right, too.

Look. Nothin', nothin', nothin'...

[Squirt] ahhhhhhhh!!

Buck: that show is really going to make a difference, scaredy!

We're still going to tell zandra

She's ruining the show, right?

Scare?

Yes? Yes. Yes. Yeah...

After work, we'll go do that.

Zandra: I want a peach-coloured gel in that light.

Peach looks dangerous.

Zandra: scaredy! Dave you're off the show.

What?! Awwww...

Don't take it personally, it's you.

How can I not take that personally?

Mrs. Ferret, I can't do the show without dave.

I... Eee... I won't.

What I meant by "off the show"

Was that I'm making dave an executive producer.

Woo-hoo! All right!

What does an executive producer do?

They eat all the food on set

And take credit for the hard work of others.

I was born to do this.

[Alarm blares, siren wails]

I saw this on safety corner!

I installed seat belts

Just like you mentioned on your show.

Love the show.

You make safety terrifying!

We love you, scaredy!

[Cheering]

As scaredy said on safety corner,

Why not have an umbrella that covers the city?

[Cheering]

The ratings keep climbing

And sponsors are banging down my door.

Wow! That's fantastic!

Zandra: I'm going to need you to talk about this toy on the air.

Rusty sharp metal in a box.

No problem.

That's the most dangerous toy I've ever heard of!

Mmm, yeah.

They're one of the new sponsors for the show,

So you'll need to say they aren't dangerous.

But they- ow!

Great, now I need a tetanus shot.

I cannot go on television and call these safe.

And that's what I love about you, scaredy:

Moral integrity!

You're off the show.

What?! Then who's gonna host the show?

Paddy: move it, squirrel-for-brains, you're in my chair.

Paddy?! But it's my show!

Dave: whoa! Whoa! If scaredy goes, I go.

Oof! Ow!

[Sobbing]

I know.

I can't believe we lost the show.

It's not that!

I landed on my fork. [Wails] owwwwwww...

Singers ♪ you'd better listen up or you'll be a goner ♪

♪ It's [paddy patterson's] safety corner ♪

Paddy: hey, dudes, check out these cool

And not dangerous toys.

They're the best toys you'll- ow!

[Laughs it off]

The "ow" let's you know you're having fun! Ow!

Ow! Yiii! Gah! Ooh! Izz! Ouch!

Look at owww much fun I'm having!

Singers: ♪ you'd better listen up or you'll be a goner ♪

♪ It's [paddy patterson's] safety corner ♪

Legal voice: brought to you by rusty sharp metal in a box.

It's a fan-tetunus-tastic good time!

That was horrible.

On the positive side,

No one's gonna pay attention to anything that paddy-

[Doorbell rings]

Thank you!

My rusty sharp metal is here!

Oww! Gahh! Yikes! Ow! Fun hurts!

Oh no...

Thunder kites!

The best storm kite ever made!

[Lightning crackles] [screaming][screaming]

Mmm... Jacko's tapeworm tacos.

Muy bien!

[Whimpering, horrified]

Your feet will always be clean, thanks to soapy shoes!

Bawwwwwwwwwwwwk!

[Loud crash]

[Siren blares]

Because brakes on a car only slow you down!

[Loud crash]

Agghhhh!

[Sirens wail]

This has gotten completely out of hand!

Dave: what can we do about it?

Scaredy: something we can do to get-

Alligator: help me!

What if we trydoing- [tires squeal]

Scaredy: how would disco dancing help us- [siren wails]

With hats made of pie and a tux-

Philmore: thunder! Gahhhhhhhh! [Loud thunderclap]

Loves to dance.

Scaredy: here comes our bus.

Bus driver: brakes only slow you down!!

[Tires screech, loud crash]

[Ambulance siren wails]

We created a show that was supposed to help people

And now...

Well, there's nothing we can do, scaredy.

It's not like we can create a new show

That is really, really similar

And put it on the internet

In hopes that it becomes more popular than-

Dave, I've got an idea!

We just need to create a new safety show

That people like more

And put it on the internet!

[Gasps] you always know what to do!

Philmore: thunder ki-gahhh! Come on!

Dave: ready?

Scaredy: [determined] I am.

♪ It's not safety corner

♪ But it's almost the same

♪ Legally we had to change the name ♪

♪ Welcome to scaredy's circle of safety concerns ♪

♪ Yeah!

Hi. Welcome to concern, um...

Is the jingle too wordy?

It's fine.

Today on safety con... Circle...

I can trim it, 'cause it feels kinda-

We're doing a show, dave!

I think the personal banter

Is something our audience enjoys.

Television!

The dangers of television; that's today's topic!

Oh! You sure you wanna go there?

The problem with television

Is that it's always about selling you something.

Not just the commercials, the shows too!

You are playing a dangerous game.

You can't say stuff like that.

Some of the best shows are on the internet,

And statistics show

That more and more people are switching-

Dave: that's our time!

Thanks for watching safety concerned corner circle...

The show.

[Loud crash]

Scaredy: you think that was good enough to scare people away

From television?

Dave: never gonna happen.

[Televisions clang and smash]

Lady rabbit: honey! The kids are going outside!

[Laughing gleefully] outside!

[Truck beeps as it backs up, televisions smash]

So they really cancelled safety corner?

I heard they cancelled tv!

Do you know what else I hear?

No ambulances.

Looks like our new show did the trick.

Hooray for circle concern...

Concerning safe circles?

Circular safety net of... Net net?

We should rename it.

Yes.