01x07 - Jurassic b*stard

[bunniefuu]

- [kids shouting]
- [Hana] Me! I know!

[teacher] Let's see... Hana.

Okay!

- [chuckles]
- [camera shutter clicking]

I'm so glad we asked Shin and Lu
to manage the store for us.

I just hope they can handle it
on their own.

They'll be fine. I think.

SAKAMOTO'S

[Shin] Hey, Lu!

Why is it you always wear my apron
when you do the dirty work?

Please! You whine about everything!

Why do I clean the windows by myself?

Because it's not my job!

Let me clear this up for you...

When Mr. and Mrs. Sakamoto aren't around,
I'm the one that's in charge here.

Uh-huh, whatever, good for you.

I swear, sometimes Shin is such a child.

Okay. If you have something to say,
then just say it out loud.

'Cause I hear what you're thinking anyway.

Hey, I have the right to think
about whatever I want to think!

You should quit snooping around
in other people's brains.

Yo! I came to see if you had
any leftover meat buns today.

Only a pervert would listen

to what everyone else
is thinking all the time!

You're nothing but a creepy,
blond mind-stalker!

Oh, yeah? Well, you're nothing
but a drunken apron thief!

[Lu screams]

I can never relax around you

'cause I don't know
if you're reading my mind or not!

[exclaims]

[sighs]

[Shin] I see.

My bad, I guess.

Huh?

Yo, um, you good?

[Lu] Yeah, I'm fine!

So, can I eat these, or...

Only if you leave, too.

[scoffs]

[sighs] He is so annoying!

I've never seen him look like that before.

[doorbell chiming]

Crawling back already, huh?

Well, if you give me a real apology...

Huh?

[man 1 grunts]

SHIN

- That's Shin.
- [underling exclaims]

You're coming with us.

[gasps]

[opening theme song playing]

JURASSIC b*stard

[muffled screaming]

[man 1] I can't believe it.

Eleven years
after disappearing from the Lab,

this guinea pig's out here living
an ordinary life in a small town.

Hard to recognize her
with a different hair color.

[man 2] Uh... Mr. Tanaka?

I hate to say this, but...

[Tanaka] What is it, Seba?

[Seba] Do you think
we might have the wrong person?

[Tanaka] Huh?

Of course, it's the right person!
Didn't you see the nametag?

It says "Shin," you dumbass!

Don't question me or I'll k*ll you!

[Seba] Okay. Sorry.

[underling] But what do we need
this girl for anyway?

[Tanaka] They didn't tell me
any of the details.

But remember how the Lab was experimenting
with supernatural powers?

According to what I heard,
Shin here was the only success.

A bona fide clairvoyant.

[muffled gasp]

[Tanaka] And it gives me
the heebie-jeebies!

Somebody who knows
what you're thinking all the time?

Nobody would wanna
hang around a creep like that.

I bet you've never had a friend
in your entire pathetic life.

Sounds like a sad
and lonely existence to me! [chuckles]

[grunts]

- [grunts]
- [underling 1 and 2] Mr. Tanaka!

You have no right to say that.

Shin may be a stupid,
neurotic, childish dumbass,

but he's a better person
than all of you jerks!

- Huh?
- [Lu] Besides,

just because someone's different
than everyone else,

who are you to say
their life can't be happy?

Hold on, you just said... What's your name?

I'm Lu. Lu Shaotang.

[Tanaka exclaims]

[Seba] See? I told you.

You need to work
on your listening skills, Mr. Tanaka.

[Tanaka grunts]

[sighs] I have no choice.

It's up to me to be
the grown-up in this situation.

Okay, Lu. Say you're sorry,
and I'll forgive you for being a--

Huh? Did she leave early?

- [door opens]
- [doorbell chimes]

- [Aoi] We're back!
- [Shin] Huh?

- [Hana giggles]
- Mr. Sakamoto...

[Sakamoto] What happened?

[Shin] Then when I got back, Lu was gone.

It's all my fault.
I shouldn't have left her here alone.

She's heading southwest
on the national highway.

Huh? Mr. Sakamoto? How did you...

SHIN

[Sakamoto] Nametags.
They're equipped with GPS trackers.

[Tanaka] Bunch of morons!

We kidnapped the wrong person,
they're gonna k*ll us!

- [Seba] Yup.
- [Tanaka] What are you doing?

Get off the freeway!

[Seba] Next exit's not for 15 kilometers.

[Tanaka] This is why I hate
when I have to work in the field!

Wait. What if we just pretend
this is the real Shin?

And we can say
he lost his telepathic powers.

[Seba] Isn't the gender thing
a dead giveaway?

[Tanaka] sh*t!

[Lu] I'm so stupid.

I deserve this for saying
such awful things to Shin.

I can't relax 'cause I don't know
if you're reading my mind!

It's not like I actually meant
what I was saying, though.

I just wish I could apologize.

[Seba] Hm?

[engine revs]

[thrilling music playing]

[tires screech]

That's my employee.
I'm here to retrieve her.

Shin, you came!
And you brought the Boss Man!

[Tanaka] What? That's the real Shin?

It is, Seba!
It's the kid from the picture!

[Seba] That's lucky.

[Tanaka] Now they're not gonna k*ll us
when we get back to the Lab!

[Shin exclaims softly]

Wait. These guys are from the Lab?

[Tanaka] This is our chance. Go get him!

[underling] Nighty-night, Tubb-o.

Time for a nap!

[underling gasps, screams]

[Tanaka] What the hell?

Excuse me! You mind if I borrow a piece?

Oh, sure! Help yourself, son!

[grunts]

[screams]

[underling] Damn it! You little sh*t...

Wowzer! You sh**ting a movie?

Yup!

Huh?

[yells]

[Tanaka] What's wrong with these guys?
They're insane!

[Seba] Oh, they all lose already?

[Tanaka] Looks like it.

You don't wanna make the Boss Man angry!

You should stop and apologize
before you get yourselves hurt.

[Tanaka grunts]
Why don't you shut your trap?

You know what happens
if we go back empty-handed?

That's way scarier.

And if he decides you're worthless,
then we're all...

Hey, you okay? Lu!

[Tanaka screams] Seba!

[Seba] Yeah, yeah, fine, whatever.
Just take the wheel, okay?

[Shin] Oh.

There better be a hefty bonus
in my paycheck after this.

I'm not gonna go easy on you.

[Tanaka] You got this, Seba!
Do your thing!

[Seba] Uh-huh, sure.

It's such a pain in the a*s
to have a boss who's incompetent.

[electricity charges]

[gasps]

[thrilling music fades]

[grunts]

[thrilling music continues]

[pants]

Mr. Sakamoto! Watch out!

[Seba] Wow.
You've got pretty good instincts.

[laughs] Scary!

Now let me go.

[Shin] Mr. Sakamoto.

[thrilling music ends]

- [thudding]
- [Tanaka exclaims]

[Seba] They don't call him
"The Legendary Assassin" for nothing.

I thought I was a goner.

[Tanaka] Hey! Did you get Shin?

Oh. I forgot about that.

- [Tanaka screams] Seba!
- [electricity discharges]

[Shin] Damn. We could still catch up
if we hadn't lost the bike.

[Sakamoto] GPS stopped responding
when they reached Okutabi.

Who are they, anyway?

From what thoughts I heard,
they work for the Lab.

- [Sakamoto] Lab?
- Yeah.

It's an underground research facility.

It's also where I was raised.

- [Sakamoto exclaims softly]
- Except...

When I was there,
it was a bunch of weirdos, for sure.

But they weren't violent like those guys.

I wonder what's going on.

- Whatever it is...
- Hm?

...we have to get Lu back.

This is the place, huh?

Yeah. The museum is a front
to keep it hidden.

The Lab itself is down in the basement.

Time to pay a visit
to your childhood home.

Right.

[Sakamoto] Sure is crowded.

Well, on the surface,
it's just an ordinary museum.

[female staff] Hello there!

Welcome to the Okutabi Science Museum,

where learning is fun!

Would you like to take a souvenir photo?

No thanks, we're kinda in a hurry.

Oh, come on, don't be like that!

I said we're not interested.

It'll only take a second!

[shouts] We're not interested!

Now, pose like a dinosaur!

Roar!

[camera shutter clicks]

Large prints are available for purchase
for only 4,900 yen.

Um, one large print, please.

HE LIKED IT

These will be great for hiding our faces.

[Sakamoto] Nice and soft, too.

Well, we're going this way.

There's a secret passage over in the annex
that will take us down to the basement.

[Sakamoto]
Oughta bring the family here some time.

ORANGES

[muffled grunting] Let me go!

Will you knock it off?

[muffled grunting continues]

[grunting stops]

[Lu] What is this place?

[man] Mr. Tanaka.

[exclaims] Sir!

Is this the clairvoyant boy
I've heard so much about?

[Tanaka] Yes, sir.

[man] Hm, the hair color and the gender
don't match the photo I saw.

You know, if you lie to Mr. Reindeer...

I have to k*ll you.

[whimpers] Yes, sir.

[Lu] What's up with this guy?

His face and hands
are covered in stitches.

Creepy.

Excuse me, Chief.

- If I may?
- [man] Go ahead, Seba.

The girl here's actually just a stand-in.

But I think I know
how to find the real guy.

[screams] Seba!

APPLES

Damn you!

- You're gonna pay for this, Seba!
- This seat's not comfy!

- You hear me, Seba?
- You will capture that boy at any cost.

We wouldn't want
to disappoint you-know-who.

I know I can count on you.

Right, Seba?

Uh... Sure, I'll do my best.

[Shin] If I remember correctly...

first, we set this clock to 8:20.

[clicking]

Then tilt the brown bear's head


[whirring]

All right, got it in one!

[Sakamoto] That was overly complicated.

- Let's see... "Okutabi."
- [keypad beeps]

- [beeping]
- [automated voice] Verification failed.

[Shin] Oh. They changed the password!

- [automated voice] Error code 2-0-3.
- [alarm blaring]

- Intruder Alert.
- Huh?

[automated voice] Destroy.

[gasps]

[automated voice] First attempt: failed.

Begin second attempt.

[thuds]

[sighs] Hey, Mr. Sakamoto?

Have you ever fought a real bear before?

[Sakamoto]
All the standard animal combat training.

[automated voice] Phase One: System down.

BROWN BEAR
POLAR BEAR

Begin Phase Two.

[dramatic music playing]

[gasps]

[powering on]

[Sakamoto]
Never fought a dinosaur, though.

[Shin grunts]

What are we supposed to do now?

[Sakamoto] And it moves, too.

[gasps, squeals]
She's so cute, I love her!

- [Sakamoto] I have to show Hana.
- [exclaims]

[Sakamoto] We catch it alive.
Don't do too much damage.

What the hell are you thinking?
[gasps, grunts]

That tail's gonna be
a real pain in the a*s.

Huh?

There's a device inside its head!

If you sh**t that with your taser,
maybe you can disable this thing.

[Sakamoto] That's a great idea, Shin.

[Shin] "Great idea!"

[taser charges]

Yes! It worked!

- [automated voice] System rebooting.
- [alarm blares]

Maximum combat level.

[both gasp]

Mr. Sakamoto!

Oh no, the taser!

[screeching]

[Sakamoto] Not worth the effort.

Alive or not, it's over.

[strained grunt]

[Shin grunts]

[dramatic music ends]

On second thought, a dinosaur's mystique
comes from not moving.

Oh, you don't say?

[man] The noises stopped. What was that?

You think someone tripped
the security system at the entrance?

[underling] Hey! Quit slacking off!
You worthless eggheads!

We're long overdue for a break.

None of us has slept in three days!

What? If you want a break,
you're gonna need to show us some results.

Good-for-nothing hack!

- [kicks]
- [groans]

- Ishikawa!
- Are you okay?

[Ishikawa] This is absurd.

Do you honestly think
this research is gonna work?

"Absurd" you say? [laughs]

Oh, buddy.
I wouldn't have said that if I were you.

You just insulted the organization.

You're dead! Huh?

- [neck snaps]
- [grunts]

- [all gasp]
- [thudding]

'Sup? It's been a while
since I've seen you guys.

What's new around here?

[scientist 1] Shin?

- [scientist 2] It is Shin!
- [scientist 3] What are you doing here?

I had a little errand to run.

Where's the old man?

I'm afraid they've got him imprisoned
on the bottom level.

I'm sorry, Shin. But the Lab has been
overrun by a group of sadistic assassins.

A group of assassins, huh?

They just showed up here.
It was about a year ago now.

[man] Hello, everyone.

Pleasure to meet you.

My name is Kashima.

And I am a hit man.

We're on the hunt
for new and innovative tools

to help us k*ll people.

g*ns and knives are so passé.

Assassins deserve access
to technology that's on the cutting edge.

To that end, we'd like to borrow
your brilliant minds for a while.

[Ishikawa] Kashima is the leader,
with a few executives under him,

and all the rank and file members
wear Hazmat suits.

That's a lot of hit men.

Mr. Sakamoto,

if we have to search every room
of this place looking for Lu...

We'll be fighting through
every one of them along the way.

Are you out of your minds?

You two need to get out of here, now!

If the executives find you here, they'll--

[footsteps approaching]

One's coming! Hide!

Quick! Whatever you do,
don't make a sound!

Get in there!

[Tanaka crying]
I don't wanna be a guinea pig!

Please, let me out of here!

[Lu] Quit your whining!

[groans]

That hurt. I didn't know
girls could be that savage.

- [metallic clanging]
- What are you doing?

It's noisy.

What does it look like?

Trying to break out.

Huh? Using nothing but a rock?

Oh, don't make me laugh.

- [man] He has a point, miss.
- [gasps]

It's no use. That's not gonna cut it.

[Lu] I'm sorry. Who are you?

I'm Asakura, head researcher of the Lab.

Nice to meet you. Would you like
to break out of here with me?

Huh?

[man] Mm. [chuckles]
You're making an awful lot of noise.

Are you doing
some fun experiments in here?

MAD HORIGUCHI

Mind if I join you?

Uh... it's nothing.

Let me... borrow your pen.

Huh?

Liar.

[gasps, screams]

[Shin] That b*stard!

[Sakamoto] I'm stuck.

The guards posted out front
were unconscious on the floor.

You wouldn't know anything
about that now, would you?

Well? Someone's going to explain.

Get your pens ready, everyone!

[snickers]

Ah, you see? I knew it.

You got pretty good reflexes
for an old geezer.

You fool! Why didn't you just stay hidden?

[scoffs] No reason.

I just got a bit claustrophobic.

[creaking]

Shin, you...

[Shin] You must be an executive.

[licks] Maybe I am,
and maybe I'm not.

Will you get in our way if I say yes?

Because I won't let you!

We're doing so much
incredible research! [laughs]

I have an idea!
What if I show you some of it?

[upbeat music playing]

[gasps]

[grunts]

- [grunts]
- [Ishikawa] Shin!

[Horiguchi laughs]

Now, subject primed, let's begin the fun!

[speaks backwards]
That kinda hurt, you as*h*le!

[gasps] The hell?

Huh?

[giggles] Isn't it great?

I can reverse your speech
with the flick of a switch.

The electrode I implanted in your neck

sends an electrical current up your spine,
and scrambles the signals in your brain.

[speaks backwards] You son of a b*tch!
Switch me back to normal!

Whoa! [laughs]

Let's try the next one! Huh?

[echoing grunt]

[groans]

Finally got loose.

[speaks backwards] Mr. Sakamoto!

Hm? That sounds like fun.

Come on, do you really
have to make fun of me?

[sighs]

- [Sakamoto] Shin.
- Huh?

I don't know what kind of history
you have with this place.

But... do you want to save it?

[gasps]

Yes.

[knuckles crack] Okay.

Then your childhood home
needs a little spring cleaning.

All right!

[man] It's been ages
since the last time I rode a bus.

My back hurts.

[woman] Eat this, Mr. Shishiba.
For good luck.

[Shishiba]
You're so superstitious, Osaragi

I can't decide if I think this place
has something to do with Slur or not.

The intel came from Nagumo.
So, can it really be trusted?

[Osaragi] But investigating the lead
is our job, right?

Yeah, I know you're right, Osaragi.
Let's do this.

[Osaragi sighs]

["Somebody Help Us" playing]