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03x05 - Flea for Your Life

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Tiny Toon Adventures". Aired: September 14 – December 6, 1992.*
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Cartoon set in the fictional town of "Acme Acres", where most of the Tiny Toons and Looney Tunes characters live.

03x05 - Flea for Your Life

Post by bunniefuu »

We're tiny We're toony We're all a little

loony And in this cartoony we're invading

your TV We're comic dispensers We've

got them all dispensers On tiny two

adventures get a dose of comedy So here's

at the acres it's a whole wide world

apart Our hopes should only stand alone

in cartoon works of art Let's rest where

rejected Expecting the unexpected

about to start They're free, they're

funny They're bad and busted funny Much

had a match as money And my rec is a pain

He's has been, that's lucky Disney,

Devil, yucky We're both on your feet And

don't go is and say And at the

university we earn our two degrees And

the teaching class been getting wacked

since 1933 We're tiny, we're

too many We're all a little loony It's

time to come and join the fun

And

Greetings, Tootsters. Today's show is

devoted to a terrific but much underused

element of our series. Thank you, thank

you, thank you. Lucky, what are you

doing?It's about time you admitted I'm an

underused element on this sad excuse for

a kiddie show. You may finish the

introduction before quietly leaving the

stage to its rightstar.

Okay, so without further ado, here are

the stars of today's show, The Three

Family.

Hey, bud!

That's enough work for today. Bundle

'em up. Okay, Pop.

That's not too much for you, huh

No problem. That's

my boy. Let's go home!

There. It's finished.

Whoop-dee-doo and stop the presses. We

made one more fur coat. Tina Agers,

hoo boy. Remember, Itchiano.

Bossa Tikka says these will buy a better

life for us, please. Ugh

At least that's the last of it. Honey,

I'm some kind of home! And with more

fur, too! No! I

can't take anymore!

So, what's for supper?Cat!

What else?My favorite!

Let's eat the hot cha-cha.

Ohh

Hey, anyone here want to cruise the flea

market?yeah! Let's

get out of here before Tick decides we

should work overtime. We interrupt this

show for a special announcement.

Greetings, fleas. Borsticka, to tell you

that from now on, you'll be working

overtime. What?Now, as

you know, the price of fleedum does not

come cheap. But thanks to my

frankly brilliant idea of making and

selling fur skin coats to other insects,

there will soon be profits for all fleas

to share. But only if we keep up

production. So,

work, work, work. Argh!

Does this mean we don't have to pay our

cable bill?Ichiado! Why

for you do this?Because we're working

our lives away so Boss Tick can live high

on the dog!

Some fleas are born with a lot for

the dollarMe on the poor side

of the flea collar He's had it good

since the first day he hatched out

We'd bite the mange meat 'til the day we

get scratched out

Fly by on the dog is the

furriest patch That one spot your

kitty can't quite reach to scratch To

see tickly dip I would live on a

frog With him gone any life is

livin' high on the dog

Super high on the dog fleas, they roll

the red carpet. We buy a

worn-out rugs at the flea market.

On our bald patch, we blink and it bring

down the paw. VIP fleas can

have a flea circus 'til dawn. In

epilogue, remember this simple flea

monologue. We tick on any life

living high on the dog.

Okay, okayTick is here

now, so let's cheer up, huh

I don't want to hear another word about

Tick! I don't want anyone even to say the

word, Tick! Who's at the

door?

That T-word I'm not allowed to say!

Yes, my boy. It's collection night. We've

come for your donation.

I must confess, as I stood with my ear

pressed against your wall, I couldn't

help but overhear your musical complaint.

So she was a little bit off a key. Have

a heart! Attack. It's

all right. She's got

plaque. I really like girls with

plaque. Be nice, and I'll consider

taking you out this Saturday night.

But, Zeki, what about me?

Don't worry. I wouldn't be caught dead on

the same cat with him.

I can arrange that!

It's bath time!

Scratch 'em out!

Oh, no! Kittyboo's got to flee

me!

This, my little rebel, is how

I shake things up. All

right already, I'll blow up with you!

Ha! I wouldn't be caught dead on the

same tat as you.

Time to take the big dip,

itchy-twitchy-bat! Mom stick!

Mom stick!

Yes?Please!

I'm begging you! Don't let my family

die! I'm sorry! Just please, stop

this! For you, sweet flea.

Anything.

I guess you were just having a

kitty-witty nightmare.

It looks like this family is starting

over from scratch.

I made it funny. Get it,

itchy?

Remember, work hard, and you

might even become my in-laws.

small bone caught in my throat.

Nice view, huhNot as long as

we can see where Tick lives. Tick,

tick, tick. Give it a rest,

Itch. I mean, the guy has done some good

for us, too. Like what?

Well, he built Fleetham Hall. Oh,

right. His so-called monument to

hardworking fleas everywhere. Have you

ever seen it?Well, no, but...

Neither have I. He keeps us all too busy.

Come on, I want to check out this Fleetum

Hall. It had better be everything

Tick says it is, or I'll dip him myself!

Hmm

Cozy little flea trap. Let's have a look

inside. Pause! No

one enters without Boss Tick's

permission! It says, For all

fleas everywhere. Yeah, but it didn't

say anytime. It's all right,

Nat. We'll come back when we get Tick's

permission. Sorry to bug you. Have

another crawler.

There's more than one way to itch a cat.

I should have known wild horseflies

couldn't drag you away.

I think this room could use another safe

or two. What do you think?Oh,

anything you say, Picky. You are so

smart. And

you're so perceptive.

Let's eat. Why, that

slimy bloodsucker! He's hoarding all our

money! Wow! With that much

loot, we could buy our own dog and

retire. Inchy?

Itchy, where are you?

Itchy! You're spermin' abandoning

spider in sheep clothing!

Here's to hitting high on the dog.

That sounds like a song cue to me, boss.

Don't sing a reprieve yet, Tick. You've

got a lot to answer for.

Would you care for an order?And a pair of

teeth?A husband?You're

through, Tick. I saw the cash. I

heard the scam. Nothing can shut me up

now.

Marry me, or your family takes the big

dip.

Let's make her comfortable in the tower

until our wedding.

I thought you were gonna marry him for

his money, but I could be boss next.

Well, that pest got in the way. Take care

of her, and we take care of us. You

mean extermin-- You

know I hate the E-word.

Extermination?

I'll make the arrangement to notify your

family of the good news. Until then,

my fleiancee.

Itchy.

Ohh Darn animators. If you

marry Tick, Flake and Flit are gonna

exterminate you. If I don't, then

my family takes the flea bath.

Don't worry. I'll get your family. We'll

think of something.

Cat can ran away! Oh,

no! Itchy's family is on

furball!

Cool! Another stray cat for the ground!

Whoa!

Itchy's doomed!

Made it! It took me all night, but I made

it! Now to find Furball.

Well, at least we don't have to make any

more coats.

There you are! I've been looking all over

for you! Where's Ichi?

Is she all right?Did you two run away and

get married?

No, she's being held prisoner by Kik.

Ohh

We have to get Furball out of the pound.

It's no use. Nobody wants a

mangy kitten like a fireball, except that

crazy Elvira.

We're gonna have to make him presentable

to someone else.

Purple! Huh

Do you want to get out of here?Uh-huh,

uh-huhThen do

what we say, and you'll be the perfect

choice. No. The

purr-fect choice.

A kitten's like a baby, every mother

wants to hug. As furry as a powder puff,

cute well as a bug. Your eyes should be

like frying pans, big and round and

moist. One look into those baby blues,

she'll make the perfect choice. A boy

don't want no cutie cat, that's no choice

of mine. He'd want a tiger by his side,

not a dandelion. So roar it out, both

loud and clear in your toughest voice.

I'm a tiger, that's no lion. I'm the

perfect choice.

Kittens are like royalty. King of the

beast, act regalinian royal even

on the back streets. You're the cram, the

kitty cram. The feline rolls and royce.

Be the can's pajamas be the perfect

choice. Squirrel, Squirrel!

Where are you?Oh, I can't find him.

I'd like to pick out a new kitty.

Quick! Scratch attack!

It's Birby, Birby, Bolly,

Wolly! Hallelujah!

Hurry, Furble! Faster!

Help! Help Somebody help me!

You thought I was the star of this

episode, and I'm barely in Act 3! Help!

Help Help Help

This flea cannon should get rid of that

pesky itchy for good. When it's good by

fleas, spray it! Don't say

it! Help! Help Help

me! Help! Help Help

Help Help

Sounds like my blushing bride-to-be's

getting cold feet.

Well, don't just stand there. Help

me! Stop! Leave my pride alone!

I'll have your shells for this! Forget

it, DickWe're not taking orders from you

anymore.

We did it! You're my

gnat in shining armor.

Umm

Itchy!

Oh, now you need a flea-bad

pirate!

Bye! Bye, Barty!

Have a nice bath. That's a good

one.