03x06 - The Return of Batduck

[bunniefuu]

We're tiny We're toony We're all a little

loony And in this cartoony We're invading

your heating We're comic dispensers We

cut them all with sensors On tiny toon

adventures get a dose of comedy So

here's at the acres, it's a whole wide

world apart Our homes, we only stand

alone, a cartoon worth of art Let's rest,

we're rejected Expect the unexpected

They're free, they're funny. They're back

in busted bunny, Mush had a match as

money. And my Ricky's a pain. He's

huffing, and plucky. Dizzy, devil,

yucky. Purple's unlucky, and go-go

isn't fair. And at the university, we

earn our two degrees. It's the teaching

class, and getting last since 1933. We're

tiny, we're too many, we're all a little

loonyIt's tiny, too many friends, just

come and join the fun. And

And now, starring in his very own

television show, Lucky Duck!

Get

it! Ohh

I meant to do that.

Hey, there are ducks whose beaks need

some kissin'. And kissin's

what I'm gonna do. Ouch! Watch it!

Man, those ducks aren't hip to what

they're missin'. I've got a

mix-o livin' to do.

Ducks stop, see, take ten, everybody.

You take ten years. See yo, girls.

Sorry, Plucky.

I'm getting that sick feeling. Oh, and

I'm not?It's all because of him.

Step aside, rabbits. Just a

tad jealous, are we?No, no,

just glad to take the weekend off. Looks

like your show's gonna be great, Plucky.

I'm glad Warner Brothers finally realized

my potential. This show's gonna be a

humongous blockbuster, Buster. Oh yeah,

this is a much better break than that

little old Batman fight. Batman

schmatman. Plucky didn't want that bitsy

part anyway. What part?What part are you

talking about?Ah, Tim Burton's directing

another Batman movie. Michael Keaton's

perfect for it. Plucky belongs on

television anyway, Bapsy, not feature

films. It's really mature of him to

realize it.

No! I wanna be in a movie! I wanna

be Batman! I want...

Wanna, wanna, wanna, wanna! But what

about your show?Who cares

about a lousy TV show?I'm

feature material! I'm Batman! That's

my part! My part, I tell ya! It belongs

to me! I deserve it! And furthermore, I'm

gonna get...

Ouch! Finally, a plot! Let the

Plucky Duck Show begin!

You're Lucky, it's Plucky I'm absolutely

Ducky Other shows seem yucky Now that

Plucky's on the air I'm wacky, I'm

quacky He's an ecomaniac-y Hampton

Play is the lucky of this stuff

extraordinaire Who knows the way to close

and send this dabbling beak Drop an

angel down a plot and feathery to see

Toast him, most him The show will still

be most him It's the Pucky Duck show and

it's on each week His antics are

At times, he gets romantic My talent's so

gigantic, it'll burst from your TV The

writers are hackers The artists always

hackers The actors are yackers But don't

complain, it's free Rocky goes to Acme

loons to learn to be a star There are

other tootsters at the school But who

cares who they are?So enjoy, don't be coy

And don't fall for a decoy It's the

hockey that you'll call a laugh of love

I also wrote this song.

Sammy, old pal, don't sweat it. I need an

agent to get on the lot. You're perfect.

Sammy Lazar, babe. Gee, I

don't know. That's okay. I do. You

get me on the lot. I see Tim Burton. He

faces facts. I am Batman.

Now keep practicing your line. Love you,

babe. Let's have lunch. No, no, not

have lunch. Do lunch. But

plucky, do lunch is bad grabber,

improper use of a transitive verb.

It's swing. Jargon. Colloquial shatter.

Keep practicing. Keep practicing. Can

you pick us up later?I'll be back.

Yeah, thanks. Here's a refrigerator

magnet for you.

No problemo.

Hey, watch the arrows! Like cheerio to

you, too, my merry man, for sure.

Love ya, babe. Let's have lunch. Uh,

do lunch. Uh, hey, that'd be

great! Thanks! Abby, wait up!

I feel a painful guard at the gate

sequence approaching.

Where do you think you're going?I'm

Plucky Duck. I'm with Hammy Lazar. Oh,

Hammy. Love you, babe. Let's

have lunch. Darn. Wrong

again. Rock!

Duck right out. I'm here to see

Tim Burton. Walk the duck.

There must be some mistakes. I don't make

mistakes. I eject them

around the world.

Hmm, doesn't

seem to want to focus. That's better.

I'm Edward Headscooper Hans. An old

friend of you, Mr. Burton's. I've read

your clippings. Ooh, a pithy pun.

Bounce. Wait a

second! Listen, you look like a sporting

guy. How about we settle this with a

little wager?A game of scissors, paper,

rock?I win, I go in. You

win, I calmly walk away.

OK. Scissors?Piper?

I calmly walk away.

Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!

There's no

time. Hope you're not squeamish.

Well...

Love you, babe. Let's do lunch. Do lunch!

Hey! I got it! I did it

right! Plucky, I... Plucky?

Hello. Hey, Peter. When do I get my wings?

Plucky, it's me, Hampton. You're on

the lot. We am?I are?

We is?We are?Yes! We're off a lot!

Come on, Hannie. We gotta find Tim

Burton's office. From here on in,

this is a piece of cake. The part of that

man is mine! Where is that office,

anyway?Uh.. I think that's it there.

Well, let me at it!

Mommy!

Captain, drastic measures are in order if

we want to get to see Tim Burton. I

propose we descend into the sewer.

Ah, why not?That's what all the other

shows do during ratings speakbook.

No, I mean the real sewer, Hambrain.

Oh. We just follow this map

and sneak up onto the office. He'll have

to see me. Wow, where did

you get

that?Hey, plucky boy! La-la-la-doop!

But aren't there rats in the

sewer?Rope it in, ham-head. There are

no rats, no alligators,

no nothing.

Nothing to speak of, anyway. Who saw that

one coming?Hmm

A left, a left, a right to the body.

Get out of here, you pesky insect. Go on,

stop. That's what I get for

taking small parts. Oh.

Look, there's a light. Oh. I

wonder what's up there.

We're in the stove.

I'll have the chili special, please. Whoa!

You don't want to eat me. You don't know

where I've been. Let's try this

exit. You're out of your mind.

I'm shorter. Oh, no, I am. I

amOoh, a little argument. Hmm,

it's too dark to read this thing. Dark

head. Scary. Don't

crack on me, hamhead. So what if it's

dark?So what if it's scary?So what if

it's claustrophobic and I have a latent

fear of closed-in places?

I gave up my own show to die

in a sewer.

I told you I'd be back.

We're safe! We're alive! Hey, Hammy,

look! We've made it to Tim Burton's

office! Come on, let's not keep him

leaving!

That's Tim Burton right there. I admit

you're good. You're dark, you're

sinister, you're absurd, you've got a

cool costume, but, uh, I've got a Batman

already. Very well. It's your funeral.

I'll go with Cobbler.

Lucky Duck here to see Tim Burton.

Hey, it's me, Lucky Duck.

Don't do it, Tim! You've got

everything to live for. You're young,

you know Michelle Pfeiffer, and the best

reason of all, you've got me the

Didn't you see me as Bat-Duck?

T-shirt still available.

Sorry, Plucky, I've already got a Batman.

But Tim, we're brethren of animation, cut

from the same shell. You owe it to me to

give me a string text. Have you forgotten

your animation background?You're roots,

Tim, you're roots! What do you mean?What

do I mean?What do I mean?

Tim Burton, here is your life!

The year 1963,

and a young lad of five years drew his

very first character. Listen. You broke

your crayon, and I was born!

Remember Mr. Squiggly?

Punky, that was eons ago. Yes,

and how about this old favorite from a

couple of years later?Bizarro, the cat

with six legs.

Please, that's enough. Remember drawing

Jimmy the Nostril Boy?Theodore Slinky

Neck?Nicholas Transmission Head?No,

No please, stop, stop Will you give me a

screen test?I can't!

Janet's vice grip ears?Aloysius

radiator elbows?Spartacus spark plug

puss?All right, all right, I'll give you

a screen test. 10 o'clock tomorrow. Just

leave!

Yes, Sam Malicious! I have a date with

greatness. I have a date with destiny.

And I have a date with... Security!

Careful, not the face! Screen test

tomorrow. Until tomorrow, Death!

We must prepare. The time has come

for the return of Bat Duck

to the duck cave!

Once we pick up my old bat duck costume

and prompts, I'll ace this screen test.

Besides, it'll be fun to see the duck

cave set again. Hmm, now which door

is it?Yes, and so I

return. Every inch of this duck cave

embedded in my brain. So familiar,

so... Oh, where's that light switch?

Oops, wrong door. And so, I

return!

What is this?Now, wait till he gets a

load of what's behind the next door. Ohh

Yes, sir!

That's enough of that. And so,

I finally return!Everything.

Just where I remembered.

Except the stairs.

The duck-a-rag.

The duck launcher. Ah,

my sidekick, Decoy, the pig hostage.

And most important of all, my back duck

costume. Fire up the sealaduck, Decoy.

Roger, bat duck.

Look!

Activate home

Oh, dear.

Papa Duck complete.

Find a nice, safe parking spot, decoy.

Affirmative, Bat Duck.

Sidekicks.

Ready when you are, Tim baby!

Plucky, in this scene, you say your line,

and then you make a big, dramatic exit,

okay?Got it!

Dramatic, huh

And... action! I don't want to

do this. I have to.

I'm Batman!

How was that, Tim Timmo?Huh

Oh, oh, yeah. That was, um..

uh.. It needs to be dark, but absurd.

More serious, but, uh.. you know, silly.

Large, small... and gothic.

Oh, that. Let's do it again.

I don't want to do this. I have

to. I'm Batman.

I don't want to do this. I... I.. I

really don't want to do this. But

I have to. I'm

Batman.

Ah

Huh.. Outstanding! I can't use my utility

belt! The duck-a-rang.

The duction cups. The duck

sticker. The duck hook!

The duct tape! The duck

anchor!

Is there an insurance salesman in the

audience?

I feel pretty.

Plucky. Don't you

dare ask me to do that again, pal! I've

played your game, and I've survived! But

this sucks nobody's fool. Nevermore!

That's it. That's-- That's the-- That's

the thing. Okay, you got the part. You

got it. Fire that other guy. A

little more. A little more.

Now what's he doing?Let's check it out.

So what's with the moving van, cluster?

I'm outta here.

Ah, good enough. Toodle-oo, children. I'm

off to my major starring vehicle. In a

major star vehicle.

This we gotta see.

Boy, oh, boy! The real Batman set! Hmm

I wonder if Catwoman's in the smoothie.

Nice costume, Kitten. Is that semi-gloss

enamel?Get lost, Duck.

He likes me. Places, please.

Batman to the set. Batman to the set.

There's my call. Gotta go. Kim!

I should be Catwoman! You know it! Look

at me! It's unavoidable! Rawr! Rawr!

You know what to do with me! You're

right. I do.

Oh, look at the pretty kitty! I'm gonna

love you to pieces, you cute kitty-witty

head. I've got kitty food and kitty milk

and kitty litter and kitty toys. Uh,

this looks like the place. How can you

tell?I smell like his

ego. Now, where's the director?

Hey, watch it, ya big willocks! Star

comin' through! Do you know who I am, huh

No. Who are you?I'm

Batman, you idiot! A star! And

you, my friend, are...

Batman. Batman?Batman.

Batman! Great, I'm excited. This is gonna

be big, it's gonna be very large-sized.

This is... This is plunky. He's gonna be

your stunt duck.

Stunt duck. Stunt duck.

I'm the stunt duck. Stunt duck on the

set, please.

Ohh

Go ahead. Do your best to harm me. I'll

die for my profession. Go ahead. Show no

mercy. I can take it. Cut.

Stunt duck.

Okay. Action.

I misunderstood the job description. Cut!

That's a wrap for the stunt duck! Plucky,

are you okay?NO! I'm mentally

deficient! What was I thinking?

Bat-duck! Sheesh!

Vanity! Thy name is Plucky Duck!

With a different spelling, of course. I

could be starring in my own show at this

very moment, and I threw it all away!

Actually, Plucky old pal, this is your

show!Right

now, we're on?

How much time is left?About 10 seconds.

What?My song. My song?

And now, in his very own television

show, Lucky Dog!

Okay, a big number! Hit

it! And I gotta defeat it, baby.