03x09 - Two-Tone Town

[bunniefuu]

We're tiny We're toony We're all a little

loony And in this cartoony we're invading

your TV We're comic dispensers We've

got them all dispensers On tiny toon

adventures get a dose of comedy So here's

that behaviors, it's a whole wide world

apart Our homes, we only stand alone The

cartoon works apart Left rest were

rejected Expect the unexpected

They're furry, they're funny They're

thousand busted funny Much hand a match

has money Now my risky's a pain He's

hunting and lucky Disney devil

yucky Purple's unlucky And don't go

is insane And at the university we

earn our two degrees We're teaching cash

and getting last since 1933 We're

tiny, we're too many We're all our little

loony It's tiny, too many adventures Come

and join the fun

I watch song this time.

Do you have what it takes to be a classic

cartoon star?Can you

crash deep first into a tree and feel no

pain?Suffer degrading acts of

humiliation, and retain your sense of

humor?Injust dangerous objects,

and still keep smiling?

Welcome to Warner Bros. Studios today and

audition for the new Warner Bros.

cartoon, Ack Me Oop!

Come on, Buster. You promised to go to

the two-tone cinema with me. I don't

know, Babsaroo. Maybe we should skip the

movie and audition for Ack Me Oop. Why,

we've got our own show!

We're tiny, we're toony, we're on each

afternoony. That's us, remember?

Yeah, but what if our show gets the axe?

What if we lose our time slot?What if

Tiny Toons goes off the air?What if

we become... husband?We'll

let you f*ck Toony with squares!

Buster and Babs block, please.

Don't worry, Buster. Our jobs are safe.

Believe in yourself. You're a big star!

Did someone mention a big star?

You must be talking about me, Hudson

Duck. Don't bother to audition,

rabbits. After the Warner Brothers

executives get a load of my new movie,

Hudson Duck, Acme Oop will be canned and

shelved like yesterday's peas.

I'd invite you to the screening today,

but it's private. Studio haunt shelves

only. Still, you're welcome to wait

outside and beg for my autograph.

You're right, Babs. Our careers are safe.

Let's go to the movies.

Two-tone town. The Big

Buzz of 1932.

Off the moon, Bub. Aye, please.

Say sister, what do you know?

I know, my mother told me to stay away

from strangers, and but, you're as

strange as they'd come. Woo

hoo hoo hoo! She's a live one, huhHey,

that's that guy in the lobby! Foxy works

here!Say, sister, what do you know?

Evening, swells. I'm Roxy. That's

Foxy on sax and Goofy Gear on piano.

Hit it, fellas!

Wee-bop, buzzin', buzz-bop-bee You're my

love with her name, Tosh You can

buzz over with me You're the only bee

I got Buzzin', buzzin',

buzzin', buzzin' I'm a flower, you're my

beeBuzzing, buzzing, buzzing,

buzzing Squeezing extra out of

me Everybody buzz

Buzz up, folks.

Foxy, you were fantastic!

Ah, the Hughes recognized me, huhHughes?

Nah, we're supposed to win Bob's Bunny.

No relation. In two-tone town, we call

you toons Hughes. 'Cause, sister, you

got color.

Hey, when's your next cartoon coming out,

Foxy?Get out of town. I'm a two-tone.

No work for two-tones, so we gave it up.

Gave it up?No way!

Yeah, the last time we worked was years

ago. Roxy and I were on Toony Wood

Squares.

It's the man from Acme! Big B's gonna

sell his bus. We gotta stop him!

Too late.

We've all had to sell our sound effects

and music just to make ends meet.

This is way too sad. You'd

think this is sad, sister. Wait'll you

hear Goofy Gear play piano.

Yeah. I play by ear.

Maybe they should audition for Acme Oop.

Goopy gear, right?And Roxy?

HuhI thought you guys were dead. They're

not dead, mister. They're big stars.

In fact, they've got an audition today at

Warner Brothers for the new cartoon Acme

Oop. We do?Yeah, they

do. All right, all rightLook, Goop, I

don't have all day. You wanna sell a

piano or not?I gotta eat,

and I got nothin' left to sell, so...

If you take that piano, mister, I'll help

on your head! Have it your way.

Oh, and good luck on the audition,

Two-Tones.

Listen up, Two-Tones. You will get work.

I have the strength to fight for you. If

I have to, I'll give up everything for

you. But you will be stars

again.

Eat your heart out, Susan Litchi.

To prepare you for your audition, I will

be your acting coach. And I will

return to Acme Anchors, where...

Like Robin Hood, I will beg, borrow, and,

if I have to, steal new music and sound

effects for you. Hey, Nonny, Nonny,

anyway! Yes, Goopy?How'd he

do that whirly change thingy?Like

this! Getting

acquainted Getting to find out

what you're like

Well, uh, let's skip this spinning. Now,

what we need to do is update your act a

bit, make it more '90s. You'll do a

modern, flirty, funny routine I

originated on Tiny Toon Adventures. Do

you like my ears better up or down?I

don't get it. Hey, sister. What do you

think of my ears?How's this?

Uh-oh.

Will you please give your music to those

who are in need?

No! Quiet!

Darn, I gotta steal!

Oops, I'm in trouble now.

music, check. Now for some sound effects.

Yosemite Sam's House of Sound Effects.

Perfect.

Uh, pardon me, sir. No handouts, barman!

Oh, ohh watch me sweet talk this guy.

Am you all?

Why, ma'am, you're prettier than an ox

roast!

Why, thank you, you naughty old cowpokey!

Now, would you be a doll and get a plop

sound effect for the low me?Puddy,

please?It's way

out there, isn't it?I

got it, sugar dumpling!

One plop on the house, sugar dumpling!

Oh, now I need me a... You

know, darlin'. Oh, a whatchamacallit,

a... You mean

a... Jails.

Now get up on that ladder and say it.

It's way up there.

Oh, hurry! There are two horrible bad

men in the store! Oh, oh, oh, hail, hail,

brothers!

Ooh, they got you, Sammy, they got you!

They did?Oh, yes, they did!

Boo-hoo, boo-hoo!

The dirty varmints!

I'm a goner.

Thanks for the free sound effects. Love,

Buster Bunny, AKA Sugar

Dumplin'.

Are you sure you guys don't want to wait

for Buster to show up?Nah,

we're ready to audition, so let's get it

over with. Yes, sir, we've got our ears

on our heads and not on our butts. That's

not it. We sing and tie up our ears

in knots. No way, brother. We flirt

with our ears and we're funny with our

butts, right, Roxie?Don't ask me, I don't

get it. People, people, don't go all

Delta Burk on me, all right?Sorry,

sister. Listen, let's just forget the

routine. Go in there, be yourselves, and

have fun. It's just an audition, right?

Right! And don't be nervous.

Warner casting executives are sweet and

personable and really care about

actors.

I hate my life.

Hope I'm not too late for the two-tone

audition! I'm Bab Silverman,

William Don't Ignore Us Agency. And these

are my clients, the funny, funny, really

funny, funny, Foxy, Roxy, Goopy Gear, and

Big B. Thank you. We've seen enough.

What?You're very

well-drawn characters. Not bright, not

dazzling, but well-drawn. And you may be

funny, funny, really funny, funny tunes,

but we have to consider merchandising

potential. Stuffed toys. Acme

breakfast cereal, canned Acme pasta,

byproduct with imitation cheese. And

quite frankly, we don't see any of you as

marketable action figures. Thank you.

Say, sister, what do you know?I told you

two toes don't work in this town. See

you in the movies. Ah, yeah.

I guess not. Moxie's a

star! Roxy, Goofy, Gear,

Bigby, they're stars! You just

dismissed classic Warner Brothers Looney

Tunes without even saying what they can

do! I've made our decision.

Send in Plucky Duck. Now, if you'll

excuse us, we're going to screen an

important new cartoon, Hudson Duck.

By the way, you've got Moo Goo Gai Pan in

your teeth.

Greetings, executives! I'm

Plucky Duck, and this is my

movie.

Umm

Would you like to make me a big

star And make cartoons

better than they are?Oh, Warner

Executives, you'd sell some blocks

If you would hire Hudson Duck

Is that funny or what?

Oh, but this next part is a scream!

So, how'd the audition go, two-tones?

That's what I thought. So, Goopy, you

want to sell a piano?Here. I'll even

throw in an extra buck.

Nope. I

may starve, but I can't sell my

piano. That'd mean I really

gave up. But I'm not a quitter. Nope.

I'm goopy gear.

Yeah, right. Ah, you're nothing but a

has-been. Tally-h*!

Ta-da! Great timing, Buster. A little

late for the audition, though. It's

over. Sorry, guys. Gee, all I

can say is...

Oh, sorry.

What's that strange, unfamiliar sound?I

believe it's called... laughter.

Yes, this is the part of my movie where

the audience gets up and runs through a

window. Innovative, isn't it?Say,

Hughes, thanks for everything. What's

this?What's this?You tunes are in my

way! Move it! Move it! Or we'll

have you arrested for sidewalk

obstruction.

Uh-oh. Here goes our G-rating.

I did it! Way to go, goopy gear!

Say, Coppa, this pedestrian's in the way

of our piano! Butt Butt

This is your butt and these are yourears!

We love it! You two tones are

hysterical!

I am truly sorry I let you go earlier.

Why, you two tones are better than Tiny

Toons!Better than tiny toads?

Nah. We're thinking of marketing a

goofy gear doll. Pull a string, and he

whirls into funny clothes. Kids'll love

it! Oh, and we have the perfect time slot

for you. The things you gotta do to get

work in this town.

We're two-tones, we're loony We're wacky,

silly, gooney You can watch our cartoony

on your black and white TV Our comedy's

faster, we get a lot faster On Coma

Rise Adventures, two-tone classic comedy,

so Here's two-tone, it's where we live,

it's where we play We're not a

technicana, we're drawn in shades of prey

There's Foxy and Roxley, that's great out

of Biloxi On two-tone Adventures, it's a

two-tone day

I'm Lily Hudson, Ducky. And don't forget

Opie and those old piano keys. So come

join the two-tones and our swordy

families. Hilarious adventures at the

D and ivory. We're two-tones,

maroonies. We're wacky, silly, coonies.

And do you like our ears and butts better

up or down?Let's go to

two-tone town. Don't worry, our

jobs are safe, she says. I'll give up

everything for you, but you will be

stars again. Now

what, Babs?Come on. We got a great new

job. Hey, it's those stars of Tiny

Toon Adventures. I'd like Buster and

Babs' bunny to block, please.

Remember, cartoon characters never

die. We just do game shows.

Say goodnight, Dad. Goodnight, Dad.