01x03 - Episode 3

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

woo

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W woo

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how old is she now 10 months 10

months oh

baby 10 month look at you look at you oh

you want watch Laura there and she's

getting Bry you'll be next I can't have

children oh sorry I didn't know remember

that thing with a girl who working or I

cut my [ __ ]

off for she cut your [ __ ] off you hold

there

you there you are Mrs for I think you'll

find that very

relaxing well I hope so last week the

girl got the oils all

wrong well I can assure you this will

leave you feeling

refreshed and relaxed it had better for

the exorbitant fees this place charges

is one expects a certain standard oh

absolutely in this day age it seems it

is impudent to expect quality no I

no is that too much to ask no no no Mrs

for say

listen I'm just going to pop over and

see Miss stain okay I'll catch up with

you later oh and

[Laughter]

Neil you all right Madam keep walking it

was clearly a

dummy dummy

dumy f

[Laughter]

look up you wa there

what

hard watch a sweat all over your body

Joy you see it's easier to see the sweat

when you're wearing a a

t-shirt yesterday you went topless and I

had to look quite hard to make sure that

they work right oh but you we of

course quite fre in fact copious amounts

of manly Sweat Just forming into bigs

and lashing after you

p i was

sweat I wonder what you would look like

we cold sweat on you like the cold

sweater fear maybe oh no what she going

to do to me next I'm pure sweating here

just thinking about

it me all think we'll ever see that Joe

Hey Joe hey a bit head I've got things

to do

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IO there Stewart see looking up quite a

Sweat There e

okay now what will you say was wrong

with this

woman she's an ugly

b*stard she's a CO a right

Co good let's move on

Bob could you give me a P with this

Hood what you doing sorry uh MRI the

signal welcome to proving Proverbs today

we will be investigating the phrase

sticks and stones may break my bones but

names will never hurt me Dr Flipside as

ever will be your test

subject are you ready Dr

flip bug oh ah buger oh how was that

pretty s any bones

broken don't think so so now moving on

to the second part of the proverb the

names you're a [ __ ] a dirty little

[ __ ] and you're ugly you couldn't get

sex from The Elephant Man not to mention

the smell you dirty little bucket of

[ __ ] yes that's right start crying you

sniveling little

prick I bet your mother wish should put

you up for adoption everybody hates

you Dr flip side did that hurt like a

knife through my

heart we can therefore the juice that

sticks and stones may break my bones but

names will never hurt me is false and a

proverb

disproved goodbye

next week on proving Proverbs lecture 17

D let sleeping dogs

[Laughter]

lie Caroline gam yes sorry I'm late

that's okay it took me ages to find my

bottle of Chlor

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cheers went to visit my aunt Alice last

week in the high

FL you're a braver woman than I and I

yes well I've got the design of those

places all wrong the only working lift

was packed and I was Jam crammed in the

corner and then this annoying woman come

in with bags of shopping and she was

fussing and jostling and banging into me

oh my what did you do I just swung by my

elbow and got her right in the middle of

her bony be tichy out my road all right

then oh good for

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you it was just an everyday emission of

wind a fart you could say so I squeezed

it out with some Force

I followed

through tonight at 9: when priests

follow

through squeezing a fart out is one of

the few Pleasures a man of the cloth can

enjoy if we can't do that

safely what have we

got that's tonight on when priests

follow

through if you dream of Cheesecake you

will oil your

bike girl

customer how's it going oh hi an hey

going unra the smoke sausages for the

front

Mrs car you said do it now right now

right Y what do you want uh I'll have a

smoked sausage supper pleas see girl

sausage get to it move it 5 minutes for

your sausage all

right so we you free Saturday night

oh girl I need you to work here Saturday

you start at 4:00 double shift right

yes it's too bad but I'm freeing Friday

cool I thought we go bowling and then

maybe the

pictures so uh how's my sausage right

you that's it you're B get out you want

me to my cousin Lou come down here and

break your face with a spanner it's a

nice place this is no place for your

dirty cheap mouth talk H you go

go that's for you that sausage is coming

out to your wages

imagine you're acting in a

scene the dialogue should flow like a

tennis match volley volley backand

volley sometimes you'll serve an

ace but

remember always search for the truth

both for your

character and for your art h

so Stephanie McCutchen you're the first

woman to play football with the full

Scotland Squad what's it like

International Football is something I'm

still learning and standard just so much

better the game moves at quicker pace

and passing is quicker and tackling come

in quicker and is it a step up you

believe you can

handle I think so footballers always

love a challenge so this is stretching

me to new heights and I believe it will

make me a better player in the long

run and how do you react to claims that

you were only picked because your

father's the manager come on Stephanie

look it

look I just don't listen to them you'll

always have people try and knock you you

know okay Stephanie thanks very much and

good luck to the rest of the season

thanks very much

and uh up to later right you that's

enough of that

wow come on

head Two Fat

Ladies A2 that's 0 Two Fat Ladies if one

of them's a fat lady and the other one's

an a beast one it's let all go that's it

no 18 qxl

K FM we're Gavin hilly the bunkers crew

here on qxl FK FM bringing you the

weather and traffic M here's an

important announcement for all you

drivers out there get off the road are

we Bonkers Birds just started our

driving lessons yeah you're mad I'm a

good driver you're a Bonkers driver I

just can't do that mad bit when you

rever around the corner C bird at the

wheel bird at the wheel over to that we

Bon's bird now with the weather okay

everybody make sure that you're wearing

sunglasses yeah yeah cuz you're going to

need them if you're sitting next to a

big Maddy and a big bright shirt you got

me there that's

bunkers bunkers that is mine that's the

weather in

[Applause]

traffic excuse me want to report a crime

right was on my mobile phone there and I

only took my eyes off my stuff for like

two seconds and some thief stole all my

shopping there all my new clothes can

you describe the clothes yeah uh it was

a dress was black a skirt was black uh

chers sort of black and uh black top and

black tat and underwear black and black

T-shirt any distinguishing marks and any

of the clothes yeah the T-shirt had like

a purple Anarchy sign yeah and it said

on it all police are Fascist Bast dud

scum good luck

H like

[ __ ] people think T is just full of

nightclubs but we found the most

delightful little fishing village with

the sea food was just fabulous you know

to be honest I don't give a flying [ __ ]

where you went

near that out

loud tonight at 11 how professionals

make love

this week the American golf caddy get in

the hole get in the hole get in the hole

get in the hole get in the

hole good morning my firm but Beauty

kindly open your sewer mouth elsewhere

Mr masterton care you not for my

familiar tongue since last we spoke sir

I have joined the suffragette movement

you sir are now the enemy and I will not

be persuaded otherwise not not until my

sisters and I have been granted the

right to vote and the right to bicycle

with our legs apart in the saddle I have

the franchise and where I to use it I

would use it to vote for such a

freedom you would support my right to

have my legs apart this country needs

more women with their legs apart then I

feel I have misjudged you Mr Maron you

are indeed a true friend of women come

let us promptly re to a secluded place I

have many mountings and saddle positions

to share with you

[Laughter]

yes

John do mine while you're at it he you

cliche cops that's enough a

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ysf

oh they Cosmonaut d da one small step

okay um buz Alin

coril

Armstrong mute that's y

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[Laughter]

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if you dream of a Spaceman you will lose

a

cigarette get this 20 tricks to drive

your fell

wild number three provide him with oral

pleasure while wearing nothing but his

favorite football

shirt oh nine when going down on him try

lightly tickling his testicles with a

feather really uh number 17 stroke your

man through a piece of velvet until he

sees Stars anything else and 20 drink a

hot drink then go down in him and a cold

drink and go down in him

again who writes this

[ __ ] good night

[Laughter]

can I have a blow

job as you know Mrs mcferson your

husband's been missing presumed dead for

over 50 years yes yes ever since that

big battle in northern

France I kept his last letter

home big fight expected the boys have

been a great comfort to me well we've

uncovered an official Journal which

recorded his last steps 1427 hours

private mcferson takes a sn*per's b*llet

to the back of the

head hi that's my MTI right there in the

front line courageous to the very

end thank you uh it continues the b*llet

then passed through the mouth of private

mcferson and then through the p*nis of

private James

Goodley which was in the mouth of

private mcf at the

T

see sorry I'm late are you the tree

surgeon yep you the tree anst

[Laughter]

yes okays welcome to day one of the

Armed response team training I want you

all to pay close attention as we will be

dealing with firearms and I don't want

anyone getting

hued unless I sh**t them of

course ah let's take a look at your

standard

sidearms bu just holding one pop quiz

Hot Shot what you going to do what you

going to do take that and that take

that oh no I a b*ll*ts

y

[Laughter]

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up start to finish Fast

sign bloody po he was just saying what

his cons tell him to say I saw outside

before he went in training him up as

bold as brass just say you saw Dexter go

and then he goes and spits out like a

good be monkey monkey

I your Dexter's not a bad boy I but not

be t i says to Jason mclin says to you

to jump off the Jamaica would you do

that too that Jason M clints are right

Bad Seed

she see what happened was Jason MCL

could say to De he say he was locked up

help him get in and you know what Dex do

like he's got a heart of gold he takes

the Crowbar breaks into wday and ends up

that woman's bedroom just being helpful

being helpful ey and they stitched them

up like a

cerer

ey that's that Court too they've got a

system going in there bloody Sausage

Factory sausages

I three year for a crime he didn't

commit just so the judge could get an

extra round of bloody golf let the

Birmingham six all over again Birmingham

sex

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sex and 7

67 that's

67 the average life expectancy a

Scottish woman so if you're 67 don't

make any long-term

plans stick around for the snowball if

you fancy adding a couple of zeros to

your will that's six and seven

67

tax

taxi [ __ ] I for for my in

taxi oh

go oh

sh pH cheese

man oh hey M guys sends the taxi wheel

on where where is this

pal he's his face man

totally you kind miss me I'm up with

[Laughter]

t my

battery

battery

myy thanks