01x07 - Sir Pugsley/Festerman/Art to Art

[bunniefuu]

They're creepy and they're kooky,

mysterious and spooky. They're all

together kooky. The Addams Family.

Their house is a museum where people come

to see 'em. They really are a scream.

The Addams Family.

Neat. Sweet.

Petite. So get a witch's shawl on,

a broomstick you can crawl on. We're

gonna pay a call on.

Family

They're creepy and they're kinky

Mysterious and spooky They're all

together spooky The Addams

Family

Prepare yourself, Sir Pugsley, to meet

your final defeat. You're a great

training partner, Marie. I think we're

ready for the annual family joust,

or as I like to call it, my time to

indiscriminately humiliate my synapse

deficient brother. And when the joust

ends and Pugsley is off licking his

wound. I'll be

enjoying my victory dance! Ooh, yeah!

Get down! And when the beat is happening,

I can't stop dancing!

Come on, Marie, let us go visit the

victim now.

Well, Thing, I see our friends haven't

paid their rent again this month. Should

we pay them a visit?

Knock, knock!

Oh, great thing it's been 15 whole

minutes since Wednesday showed up to bug

me. Look, Wednesday, I'm tired of

hearing about how you beat me every year

in the joust. I understand, dear brother.

I'm not here to tell you about your past

defeats. No, that would be cruel.

I'm here to show you the home movies.

Behold, our first joust.

Who can ever forget that glorious day,

your first official defeat?

Family tradition begins. Now let us skip

ahead to last year's joust.

You lasted five whole seconds in thatone.

It was my eighth straight win.

Okay, that's it. Wednesday, every

day for the past two weeks, you've teased

and tormented me. So, you have a

problem with that?Not really. It's just

this joust thing that bothers me.

Every year I'm humiliated by my little

sister in front of the whole family.

Pugsley, maybe it won't be like that

this year. You think so?

Of course. Maybe no one will show up and

I can humiliate you in Christ.

On your mark. Yes. Get set. Here,

here, go.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Fester, you all right?

All rightI just crashed into a bed of

nails at 90 miles an hour riding an

exploding horse. Was it all you

hoped it would be?I'm smiling, aren't

I?Fester always does compete with such

flair. Darling, why aren't the children

practicing for the joust?Why, Cricky

Tish, you're right.

You gargled. Lurch,

summon the children with the jousting

gong. Right away, Mr.

Adams.

Yes, Mother?Yes, Father?Wednesday, why

aren't you and Pugsley practicing for the

family joust?Pugsley won't practice,

Father. He's hiding under his bed until

the joust is over. Hiding under his

bed?Lurch, my good man, go

upstairs and fetch the lad. Right away.

Oh, great. This is just great.

What's this I hear about you not wanting

to joust, my boy?Dad, do you know what

it's like to be embarrassed in front of

your whole family?Cut

me in on that action. Son,

losing can be painful sometimes. And if

you've got to lose... Let's hope it is

painful. Ohh Here, hereBut

Dad, Mom, we're talking about losing to

my sister, and that's the worst.

You're right. Remember, darling, this is

only a game. Right, Wednesday?

Come one, come all, thrilled to the

sight of Wednesday Adams destroying her

older brother. Right, Mother?

Face it, Dad, when it comes to jousting,

I'm just not any good. Not any good.

What's that supposed to mean?It means he

stinks. Darling, why don't you

share with Pugsley the benefit of your

vast jousting experience?

By Jovetish, you're right. Oh,

Gomez, save the word and I'll sharpen my

head and join right in.

Seepage. That's the word.

Come on, Marie. We have a victory

speech to Penn.

First rule you have to learn is to stand

your ground. Come on, Fester, try and get

me. Ohh

Yeah. Got

that?I think so.

Okay, son, now you try it. OK. Gotcha.

Good boy. Fester. He

remembers. Whoa. I think he's ready.

Are you ready for your jousting match,

Wednesday, darling?Almost,

Mother.

Say, Lurch, where is the boy?Cowering

in the graveyard. Ah,

yes, a pre-joust tradition.

I took the liberty of informing Hugsley

that the joust is about to begin.

My sister, my friend.

Look, dear, it's time for the first

match. Fester against Lurch. All

right, Lurch, this year I'm kicking in

the after burgers.

Oh, great. This is just

great. Are you upset because Lurch got

the best of you, old boy?No, I went to

all that trouble and my horse cycle

didn't even explode.

Another successful joust. Caramia, we're

next. Lurch, my jousting helmet.

Thank you, Lurch.

Good luck, Tish. The same to

you, my darling. Let the

joust begin. Oh, I hope so.

En garde, Gomez. Tish, that's French.

I surrender. I give up. Oh,

darn. I throw myself upon the mercy of

your immensely kissable arm.

Better luck next year, dear. I hope not.

Dear, what about the children?Oh,

oh, sorry, Tish. I guess I got

swept up in the heat of battle. Remember,

dear, joust now, heat later.

Yes, yesWell, children, are you

ready?All set, Mother.

You're history, sis. Hey!

Whoa! Caramba. This is just

right. Wednesday, did you chain your

brother's bike to this post?Yes,

Father. Innovative daughter we have

there, dear. She's on the cutting edge of

sneakiness. OK, that's

it. I'm gonna pick up this lance and I'm

gonna get on this scooter and...

Bingo. It's

hopeless. I might as well quit.

Thing, I believe it's not too early to

celebrate my ninth annual triumph

with a victory dance. Ah,

sweet music! Oh, yeah!

Whoa! Hit me! Oh, snap!

Turn it off, Thing! Turn it off!

Oh, yeah!Oh, what a

rush. Look at your brother over there,

slumping and looking so defeated.

Isn't there anything you can do for him,

my devious delight?I'd be honored to

finish him off.

If my sister likes to dance,

I'll let her dance.

Come on, Pugsley. Stop it.

I can't help

myself. You know what that music does to

me. Yeah, it helps me win the

joust. Darling, Pugsley's not playing

fair. I knew he hadn't been in. All

right, you win. I can see the

victory. Gotcha. Oh, come in. I don't

believe it. I won the joust.

Son, I don't believe how low you stooped

to beat your sister. We're both so proud

of you. In honor of your

first jousting victory, this year's

fireworks display is dedicated to you.

Hugsley, please accept my heartfelt

congratulation on your victory.

Thanks, Wednesday. You're an okay sport.

If you close your eyes and don't peek,

I'll give you a special victory surprise.

Surprise. All right.

But I've got a surprise for you. Not

again. Punsley! You make me wanna kiss

my tail! Gotcha.

Hey, Wednesday, want to come outside and

toss around the old hot river with me and

Dad?We wee, Pugsley. Too

bad. It's a guy thing.

Oh, a guy thing. What a waste of

protoplasm he is. Maybe

you should have a look at my latest

project. Uncle Fester.

Hey, I'm in here.

Uncle Fester, what are you doing in my

closet?Scraping your teeth with my

shoehorn again?I always work better

in tight, cramped places with the limited

supply of air. Are

you all right?Yeah.

Luckily, this pile of barbed wire

cushioned my fall. What are you working

on, Uncle Fester?Well, besides chewing my

leg off, this Fester

man. The protector of the

macabre. Interesting. Is

there a Fester girl?All in due time,

Wednesday. You see, in my book, Fester

Man is Happydale Heights' number one

superhero.

I suppose you're wondering why I've

gathered you all here. Fester Thing,

Fester Pooch, Fester Gator.

No, no, noWe'll have none of that.

Remember what happened to Fester Goose?

Fester Girl, you're back. But

where's Fester Boy?I regretfully

inform you that Fester Boy will not be

attending today's meeting. Oh, what

happened to it?It was horrible, Fester

Man. He was jumped from behind and

tied to the front bumper of a bus that

was careening wildly toward a brick wall.

Oh, my gosh. Did you help

him?Help him?I was driving the

bus. You. You drove the bus that

endangered the life of Fester Boy?Yes,

Sir. Did you wear a safety belt?Of

course. Good girl.

Fester Man, why have you contacted the

Fester League, the Fester Squad, and that

group of gravediggers you like to hang

out with?Hi, g*ng. I wanted you

all to witness the new and improved

Fester Man. After exposure to these rays,

my muscles will be twice as strong, my

brain will be twice as smart, and the

explosions. Oh boy,

Master Squid, the

controls.

Wrong lever. Master Man, your

ray has ripped a hole in another

dimension. Thank

goodness. For a minute there, I thought

I'd tore the back of my pants.

It's Underman. He was my

trusted ally and the best square dancing

partner a guy could ask for.

Yes, but all that changed when you

dropped that anvil on my head. It was

just Ester Anvil. He was having trouble

flying at the time. A likely

story. Afterwards, I fled into

another dimension to plot my revenge. And

that moment is now, people. You just try

and stop me ahead. After

him, Fester Man. Now

hold on a SEC.

Oh, I just wanted to be here when the

room fell in. Oh,

come on, Underman. What can I do to make

this up?Well, you could give me your

Cape. OK, wait, Fester Man.

If you give him your Cape, you'll plummet

hundreds of feet to the ground below.

I will. Here,

take it. Help

yourself.

This vat of molten lava should finish the

job. Hasta la bye bye, Fester

Man.

Hey, Under Man, can I borrow a bar ofsoap?

You had enough?That's it.

My power pump will drain you of all your

powers and give them to me.

Oh, no. My powers are leaving me.

My nimble mind, my vaunted strength,

my ability to stare at people for hours

without blinking. Oh, blink.

Yes. And now it's mine.

All mine. Come on,

Fester Thing. Fester Man's in trouble and

I've got an idea.

And now Fester Man, prepare to

meet your... Underman, wait. You don't

dare unleash Fester Man's full power upon

him now. Why?WhyIn his

weakened condition, it could cause

irreparable damage. Oh,

I like irreparable damage, you know?Oh,

really?Well, then, now's the time to

strike when he's at his lowest ebb.

What happened?I'm my old self

again. The expl*si*n was so

powerful you returned to normal. Oh,

how can I ever thank you, Fester Man?Tell

me how?Well, you could blow me up like

you promised. But, Fester Man?

The blast caused your powers to return to

you. You you mean the power to

instantaneously combust is mine

again.

All of Happendale Heights breeds the sigh

of relief.

Bravo, Uncle Fester. Your story

was excellent and you put so much emotion

into the reading. Well, thanks,

Wednesday. You can come out

and play with us if you want to.

Absolutely not. Uncle Fester and I

are talking about his latest creation.

Yeah, and we're starting Fester Man's

next adventure right now.

There's nothing like the smell of old

shoes to spur the creative process.

What do you think, boys?Does that look

hideous to you?

Oh, you're right. My artwork of late has

lost all inspiration. These

last few days, whatever I try, painting,

sculpture, music, each a

fiasco.

Oh, I'm afraid I've lost my touch for the

horrible. Everything I create looks so

plain, so nice.

Mrs. Adams, we'll help

truly.

Well, I like the end, but it's still not

horrible enough. Any other ideas?

Ready.

Thank you. close. But let's try

a few more times.

Now this has potential. Just

hold still a little longer, boys.

You are so right, Lurch. Painting.

Pottery. Ballet. They just don't have the

same impact as the nearly forgotten art

of clown makeup.

I don't know. Something's still

missing.

Nice touch thing. But maybe

we need one even bigger.

Oh, it's no use. That's not it

either. Thank you for your help,

my dears. You've both tried so

hard, but there's no hope for

my art. I mean, just look at this

mess. Nothing but a stinking,

filthy, nasty pile of

of oh, it's

perfectly horrid.

That look, that smell.

Oh, I haven't lost my touch after all.

This is wonderful. I can

start work on my next piece immediately.

And with your inspiration, boys, who

knows what heights I can reach?

Boys. Lurch.

Thing.

Lurch. Boys.

Thing.

Boys.

Oh.