01x12 - Addams Family PTA

[bunniefuu]

They're creepy and they're kooky,

mysterious as spooky. They're all

together kooky. The Addams Family.

Their house is a museum where people come

to see 'em. They really are a scream.

The Addams Family.

Neat. Sweet.

Petite. So get a witch's shawl on,

a broom stick you can crawl on. We're

gonna pay a crawl on.

Family

They're creepy and they're creepy

Mysterious and spooky They're all

together The Addams

Family

Lurch, dear, thank you for coming down to

greet the children with me. I know how

you hate being interrupted while posing

in your Elvis jumpsuit.

Greetings, Mother. Greetings,

Lurch. Greetings, Thing. Hi, Mom.

Hi, Lurch. Yo Thing. Hi, Mrs. Adams.

Mind if I come over and play with

Wednesday and Pugsley?Oh, no.

I've seen what you allow your children to

do over here, Morticia Adams. The chaos,

the mayhem, the destruction. Yes,

Normina, we've raised them well.

Come, Normie, your father's unveiling his

new underwear-shaped lawn furniture this

afternoon. And I wouldn't want to

miss that. Did anything exciting

happen to you today, Pugsley dear?Well,

our bus driver, Mr. Johnson, grabbed me

from behind, dragged me to the back of

the bus, and strapped me to this table.

But why the frown?He forgot to gag

me.

Well, it's so good to have you home.

Tiger Mother, I can still breathe.

Lurch, I'd like to hug Pugsley now.

It's good to see you too, dear. Ohh

Are you ready to watch me painting a

portrait of Marie swimming?Yes, Mother.

And Marie's anxious, too. Hey, kids,

want to help me train our new kitten?

Great. Wow. Baby

tigers are so playful. But

children, what about our painting?Oh,

Mom, we can paint anytime. And

watching the Kitty sharpen his claws on

Uncle Fester will be beaucoup fun.

Oh, well, all right. Great.

Here's your gear. Let's go. Wonderful.

What about Uncle Fester?The only thing

protecting you is your helmet. Hey, you

know you're right. Hold this. Here,

Kitty, Kitty, Kitty.

Ohh Well, Thing, I guess you'll be

watching me paint by yourself.

This is just great. Kitty, Kitty, Kitty.

I suppose that sometimes the artist's

life is a lonely one.

Contessa, it's almost done.

It just seems to be missing something.

Ah, just what it needed. You chew

paintings with such authority, Contessa.

Is it time for gardening, Mother?Yes,

dear. But where's Pugsley?Oh, he's

just finishing training Kitty.

He's through. Uh, children.

The afternoons we spend gardening

together are so enjoyable. Yeah, we

love to plant things, don't we, Wednesday?

Absolutely. And Uncle Fester's

growth formula turns even the nicest

plant into a life-threatening menace.

Cool. Ew, how

disgusting and uncouth, using a plant

growth formula to... My

stars and garters.

Children, I need your help.

What is it, Granny?Well, I

predicted some bad luck for some of my

clients.

Granny's psychic hotline.

Your future?Well, I see trouble,

bedlam, disaster, and watch out!

Have a nice day.

Would you two like to help me make sure

my bad luck predictions come true?

Yeah! Does that mean we can let loose

that crate of black cats again?Only if

you hurry. Great!

Duty calls. But children, what

about our gardening?Mother, we can

garden anytime. Yeah, causing bad

luck is a lot more fun.

Is bad luck really more fun than me?

Thing.

Gomez, I need to talk to

what?Why, darling,

you've built the loveliest trough leading

into the laundry chute. Thing and I are

practicing our luge run, Tish.

Contact. Good boy.

Oh, Gomez. Caramba.

Darling, are you all right?

Tish, we set a new world's record, and

guess what we found in that old pile of

Uncle Garner's laundry?What?Uncle

Garner. No wonder those sheets smelled so

funny.

Dear, I'm having a problem with the

children. Our children?You're having a

problem with our children?Wait a minute.

They didn't paint Mr. Morton's pet goat

again. No. Too bad. He looks so

good in green. Gomez, I'm

concerned. The children just don't seem

to have fun with me. They enjoy

spending time with Uncle Fester or Granny

or Lurch. But when I Hey, Gomez, the

little crypt kickers and I are going to

play a game of street hockey without a

puck. You want to play?What do you use

instead of a puck?Me. No one has a

slap shop like the old Lurchster.

Mother, could we put off bathing the

Black Widows until tomorrow?Yeah, I

love playing hockey with Lurch and Uncle

Fester.

Of course, children. You should be off

having fun. Thanks, Mom. Let's

go, Dad. Tish, what

was it you wanted to talk to me about?

Nothing, dear. Enjoy your game.

Ah, Tish, you missed a great game. Right,

children?Absolutely, Father.

Yeah, until our puck got knocked down the

sewer. I thought Uncle Fester was your

puck. He was. The old salty

dog should be washing out to sea anytime

now. And besides, he always... Tish,

you're painting. It's so colorful and

sweet and pleasant. Are you feeling all

right?Oh, Gomez, I-- By the way,

Mother, this announcement came from

school today. Yeah,

I got one, too.

Darling, they need parent volunteers in

the children's class. Maybe I can

have fun with them at school.

Presidential idea, Tish. It says for

volunteers to call Normen and Norman

Meyer. Thank you, Thing.

Hello, Normina. Morticia Adams here. I'd

like to volunteer to help in my

children's class. Nope.

Not a name. No way. No how. Uh uh

Isn't that sweet of her?She's afraid I

might have to disrupt my busy schedule to

help around the school. She's a

neighbor's neighbor, Tish. But having fun

with the children is much more important.

I'll do it.

Man, those Navy boys really know how to

have a good time.

Children, please stop your electricity

experiments and say hello to our new

parent volunteer, Mrs. Morticia

Adams. Good morning, Mrs.

Adams. Hello, Mother.

It's time for today's music lesson. We'll

sing our town song. Have a happy

day. Oh, Mr. Goobin, do you mind if

I play the music?Why, not at all,

Mrs. Adams. A one and a two

and a. Mrs.

Adams. Oh, dear. Is this bothering

you?Yes, I

understand. I was a little flat.

A one and a two and a.

Say magnet feet. Tish, that's French.

Darling, we're in school. Right. We'll

save them for homework. Your

mother plays a mean chalkboard Wednesday.

You should get her rubber balloon. Mrs.

Adams, we need to talk.

And now, class, Mrs. Adams is here to

show us how to take care of our pets.

Madam Blossom, I want you to know how

much Pugsley enjoys your class.

Well, I'm so glad to hear that.

Thank you, Pugsley. You're welcome.

Who would like to see a properly trained

pet?Yeah!

Remember, children, he's very shy, so be

gentle with him. Here's

Snappy.

Hi, Snappy.

How odd. It must be

lunchtime. I'll head to the lunchroom and

help with the cooking.

Mrs. Adams, is that what you made

for lunch?Yes. Well, I...

Allow me, Principal McNamara, Mother.

I believe the principal thinks you've

helped out enough for one day. But

Wednesday?Is that all, Sir?

I'll see you at home, Mother.

I I guess I won't be a part of the

children's school life after all.

It's no use. I don't

understand, Tish. You ran your

fingernails down the chalkboard, brought

a hungry crocodile into class, prepared a

living meal, and the teachers were upset.

Boy, school's changed since we were kids.

Gomez, how will I ever get closer to the

children?I know. Let's have lurch so

Pugsley to your back. No, I just

want to have more fun with them.

Yes. I'm Principal

McNamara. Is Mrs. Adams

home?Follow me,

Principal McNamara.

Principal McNamara, what are you doing

here?Probably he wants to take me up on

my offer to build a crematorium next to

the gymnasium. Hey, McNamara, old

boy. Well, actually, I I wanted to

apologize for overreacting and to return

Mrs. Adams' meal. Thank you for

volunteering, even if it didn't work out

very well. Oh, come on, McNamara.

Couldn't have been that bad, could it?Oh,

yes, it was bad. Bad. Lot of bad.

Big bad. Normina's

right. And I think I've embarrassed the

children, too. Pugsley hasn't spoken to

me since I've been home. Caramelia.

That's only because he's busy playing

with his sister. Right, Pugsley?

You want to join in, McNamara?No thanks.

I'm off to find someone to host the

school scavenger hunt for tomorrow night.

Mr. Morton got sick and canceled.

Eureka.

Tish, that's it. You can host the school

scavenger hunt. What?

You've got the same nimble mind as your

husband. You don't want Morticia helping

at school because you wanted her free to

host the scavenger hunt. I did. Uh-huh

I thought so.

Remember our last scavenger hunt?We had

to find Aunt Krusty and we finally dug

her up in the backyard. That's right. And

she was so upset that she buried herself

again after the hunt. They can't host the

scavenger hunt. If you want to host it

yourself, we won't stand in your way.

Well, do you?Well, no.

Norman's at home painting that underwear

mural on the ceiling and can't be

disturbed. Well, then, on such short

notice, I accept the Adams offer. Thank

you, Mr. McNamara. It's the perfect

opportunity for the children and me to

have fun together. Yes.

Wow. Heaven the scavenger hunt in your

house is really cool. Yeah, I'm glad

that Mom volunteered to host it. I'm not

so sure, Loblis. Although it was

refreshing to see Mother's troublemaking

side.

Thank you, Thing. It might be

wise if she stayed away from school

activities. Ow.

Why?

Because she just doesn't fit in there.

All right, children, gather round.

Remember, the first team to find every

item on the list wins. Cool! Item

number one, a charred man in a

trench coat. Where do we find one of

those?I

thought you'd never ask.

Wow! Now come and get me.

Oh, Gomez, isn't it wonderful?

Uncle Fester is being chased out of the

room by an excited mob. I'm sure he'll

enjoy it. It's just too bad they don't

have pitchforks and torches. That would

really make it a perfect.

The next item on the list is fingernail

clippings. I know. Come

on. Hey thing, can I

borrow a few clippings?

Thank you, Thing.

Ohh The next item is a genuine

Alaskan igloo.

Friend Lurch, perchance you've noticed an

Alaskan igloo in the vicinity?

No. Do you know where we can

get one?Wait here.

Thank you, Lurch.

So, Morticia Adams thinks she's Little

Miss Scavenger Hunt.

Well, I'll make sure her scavenger hunt

is not successful.

Wait until Principal McNamara sees

this.

Item number 33, a really

big shower cap. Marie and I will

handle this one. Cousin It,

can we talk?

Wunderbar. May I borrow your shower

cap?Oh, sure.

Why, thank you, Cousin It. Bye.

Good news. He said we could keep the

dandruff, too. Wait a minute.

That's item number 34.

Oh, Gomez. So far, the children have

collected molasses, lint, and a bag of

those funny things that used to grow on

Uncle Fester's feet. Uh, the children are

having a rip-roaring time. McNamara wants

you hosting next year's party, too. Merci

beaucoup, darling. Tish. That's French.

Speak some more. Soup du jour. Charles de

Gaulle. Anything. Darling,

scavenger hunting out. Charles de Gaulle

later. Oh, yeah,

you're right, Tish. I'll hold on.

No, all that's left to collect is a

thorny vine. Hey, what

about a guy wrapped in razor-sharped

barbed wire?That's not on our list,

Uncle Fester. It's not. Oh,

darn. Well, keep

rapping, Lurch. We may as well enjoy the

festivities too. Wow. Oh,

yeah. Now to find the

last item.

Dean, there are huge, thorny vines

sh**ting throughout the house. Uh, Tish.

Lois knew how to make a good time even

better. But I didn't do it.

Let's see. Who could it be?

Oh, me, me, me, me, me, me, me

Cowabunga.

Hunger. Mr. Adams,

what's going on here?What's the problem,

Magdamera?You act like you've never seen

a house full of giant, thorny vines

before. Grab a sword and let's relive our

college days. Stop this

right now. Very well, Mr. McNamara.

Perhaps we've had enough fun for one day.

Thing. My eyedropper.

Thank you, Thing.

There. Way to go,

Mom. That was cool. Mrs. Adams,

you, youHere, read this. Thank you.

You have endangered all the students. You

have stood by callously watching if the

children of this fine community were

threatened by rampaging vines. It's it's

inhuman. Did you hear that, Tish?When was

the last time someone called you inhuman?

You, darling, last night. You remembered.

As of right now, I am banning you from

all school activities. No.

I'm afraid that you leave me with no

choice. It's no

use. Whenever I try to have fun with the

children, it just doesn't work.

Mrs. Adams, did you really plan this

scavenger hunt by yourself?Yes,

I. Well, it's the best one we ever had.

Yeah. Can you host it again

next year, mother?What?Look at

all this cool stuff we found.

Where else can a kid get a shower cap

full of dandruff?No one was hurt,

Principal McNamara. Mother's vines were

for entertainment purposes only. Oh,

well, I I guess the old saying is

true, McNamara. Leave the kids alone in a

room full of overgrown vines, and there's

no telling how much fun they'll have.

Well, Mrs. Adams, would you be

willing to plan the hunt for next year?

I'd be delighted.

Normina Norman Meyer, those vines were

all your idea, weren't they?

Well, hi. I'd like to

thank you for making this scavenger hunt

a huge success, and we couldn't have done

it without your want and disregard for

our home. Don't worry, we'll return the

favor someday. I

already have. Since you're such a fan of

my plant growth formula, I sprinkled it

on your rose bushes.

Bye, Mom. You know, if Lady Norm is

like me, she hates to be pummeled alone.

Oh, boy. Mom, that was

the best time we ever had. You mean you

really had fun?Yes, Mother.

We always have fun with you, just in a

different way than with anyone else.

That's what makes it so special. And you

give the best hugs in the whole world.

No one can loosen those 24

vertebrae like you, Mother. Tish,

this calls for an Addams Family dance.

Might I suggest a scar stretch

shuffle?But, Fester, it's not broccoli

season. Oh, yeah. How about the navel

shave watusi?Jackpot, Fester.

Lurch the music.

Well, lather them up, kiddos.

Oh.