02x04 - Sweetheart of a Brother

[bunniefuu]

They're creepy and they're kooky

Mysterious and spooky They're all

together kooky The Addams Family

Their houses say museum Where people come

to see 'em They really are astrium The

Addams Family

Neat Sweet

Petite So get a witch's shawl on

A broomstick you can crawl on We're gonna

pay a dollarThe Addams Family

They're creepy and they're creepy

Mysterious and spooky They're all

together The Addams

Family

Yes, that's it, Lurch. It's

time for the most important ingredient.

Careful, Lurch.

Remind me to try one drop next time,

Lurch.

Hello, Wednesday. How was school?

Fine, Granny.

That's it. It's ready.

Fester, that's time.

Hey, my skin is turning green.

So. So how come I don't see any

hives?

Nothing like a few open lesions to make a

bath really special.

Mother?Father?May I come

in?Absolutely, my little slabette.

Thanks. I believe you should be alerted

to Pugsley's current condition. Is

something wrong, dear?No!

Hi, Mom. Him.

Oh, isn't it a lovely day?Oh,

the sun is shining. The Robins are

singing. Darling, the boy must

be ill. I'll have a man-to-man with him.

Ha-ha! He loves me.

Is something bothering you, my boy?Nah,

I'm fine, Dad. Listen to this poem I

wrote. Roses are red.

violets are blue, I trim Uncle Fester's

toenails to spend some time with you.

You'd risk touching your uncle's foot for

me?Why, Pugsley, I'm...

Dad, I'm talking about stand back! HuhLet

a professional check out Pugsley's

condition. Wonderful.

Is something wrong, Granny?

No, I was just admiring Things' latest

dance steps. But what about Pugsley?

Oh, he's fine. He's just

in love. Whoops. In love?Why, you

sly little chip off the old tombstone.

Who is the lucky lass?Her name is Shella.

And she's from lower messed-up Tomania.

Ah, darling, she looks so pleasant.

Well, Tish, they say that love is blind.

Does she like you, my boy?Well, Wednesday

said she called me a disgusting gross out

of a boy only this morning. Did she

really?Well, Father, I

mean, she... Good. She's

already been hooked by that old Adam's

charm. I I was kind of

wondering if, you know, maybe you guys

could tell me what to say to her.

Elementary, my boy. Just raise an eyebrow

and give her the old Adam's smile.

Perfect. Then, toss a live

Wolverine on her and watch the sparks

fly. Whoa! Oh, mother...

Oh, yeah, it's Labora. Darling, isn't it

wonderful that Pugsley's found his first

love?How true, Tish. Smitten with

amour. Tish. Amour. That's French.

Darling, you spoke French, not me.

Oh, oh, oh, well. Que sera,

sera. Tisch, that's Italian.

Spaghetti! Perhaps a quick duel will set

your mind straight, Pugsley.

No thanks, Wednesday. Where are your

priorities, Pugsley Adams?What about the

important things in life?What about the

sense of satisfaction enjoyed by dropping

a chandelier on your sister?You're not

jealous of Shalla, are you?

Jealous?Of her?Moi?

Signorina Adams?Uh,

I'm not forgetting about you. Actually,

I need you more than ever. I mean,

would... Could you... Well, could you

help me talk to Shalla?Oh, please!

Look at him, Thing. So humble, so

pathetic, so utterly pitiful.

How can I resist?I'll help.

Thanks, sis. I don't know anything about

girls. Except how to use kitchen

utensils on them. That's a fine

start, brother. And tomorrow we'll make

sure Shala succumbs to your Adam's charm.

I'm giving you a big hug, sis.

I'll go get my spiked gloves. Oh, boy.

You're right, Thing. The rewards of

kindness are indeed pleasurable.

Allow me to assist Hugsby, Sir.

Thanks, sis. Hey, Adams,

what's for lunch?Hey,

that's your lunch. Well, actually, I'm

his lunch. Man, you are

weird, Adams.

Pugsley, tell your food to stop playing.

It is time for class. OK,

sis. Thank you. Let's

go, Pugsley. Right, sis. Oh, boy. Yeah.

And did you?Yeah. OK. And afterwards.

Oh, there she is. What

do you see in her, brother?She probably

knows not about handling harpoons or

operating iron maidens. I

like her anyway. Besides, I can teach her

the fun stuff later. And if you must

open your heart to her, Pugsley, go talk

to her. Hey.

Hi, Shella. Hello, Pugsley.

How are you?Uh, fine.

I was wondering if you might... I mean,

if maybe you'd like to go with me to our

family picnic on Saturday, please.

Family picnic?Yeah, it'll be

fun. We'll do some tombstone carving,

play volley b*mb, and have a plankton

eating contest. That's nice of you,

Puxley, but I already have plans. But

thank you for inviting me. See you in

class. Sure. See ya. I

will be more than happy to teach her the

folly of ignoring and atoms.

I'll leave her alone Wednesday.

Maybe Mortimer's right. Maybe I'm just

too weird for Shella. Oh,

if only I was more like everyone else.

Yeah, that's it.

Whee. Here's

the book you're looking for, Pugsley.

Growing Scabs for Fun and Profit.

Oh, that's the

book I've been looking for.

HuhCheck it out, Thing. The

normalizing formula. But we can't let

Uncle Fester see it. You might tell Mom

and Dad. Uh, Uncle

Fester, isn't it TNT time?

You're right. And I like mine really

strong.

I see ya. Few lizard

teeth, a couple of pinches of monkey

dandruff, assorted green stuff,

some of it vegetables.

Cool. I'm one sip away from being

normal. Watch.

Huxley,

Sister Dearest, has our Uncle Fester ever

tried cleaning this place up and give up

his hallowed dust?Are you feeling ill,

sibling?Quite the contrary. But someone

could get hurt down here. And if that

concerns you?Yes, it does. I know.

I'll tell Mom and Dad to get Lurch. He'll

take care of this mess in no time. There

is trouble brewing thing. Pugsley looks

so, so normal. I

shudder to think what will happen when

mother and father find out.

Darling, are you all right?Tish, did

my ears deceive me?Has our son lost his

Adam's flare?I'm afraid so, Father.

Hi, Lurch. Can I come in?

Greetings, NJ. Have you seen

Pugsley?Have I ever?

He's coming over now with his new role

model. Greetings, one and all.

Evening, Adams. I've been spending some

quality time with my new pal here. Oh,

woe is me.

OK, Pugster. Chest out, shoulders back.

Underwear feeling fine. Oh, that's a good

thing. A good thing, Pugsley. Yes. Are we

not a fine pair, Mr. N?The

situation is more dire than I ever would

have imagined. Oh, leave Mr. Norman Meyer

alone Wednesday. He even let me join his

boxer brigade. He didn't. He did.

It's the hottest kids club going. You

better get your application in, girly

girl. We're filling up fast. I'll

make it a priority. Darling, our son

is associating with a petty, vindictive

man like Mr. Norman Meyer.

At least he's still a good judge of

character. My, fine. All

you got there, Adams. Mr. Norman Meyer is

kindly teaching me the pleasures of

living a bland and normal life. That's my

part. He's helping me throw out my

stockade, my battle axes and my recipe

for whisker pudding. Oh, no. No,

not the whisker pudding. It's a holiday

perennial. What can I say,

Adams?The boy's finally come to his

senses. Yes, and Mr. Norman Myers said I

can even spend the weekend at his

underwear factory. Oh, can I

please?Oh, let him do it, Adams. Come

on. The boy's obviously got elastic in

his blood. Well, what a splendid

idea. If he really wants to. Thank you,

Dad. See you Saturday morning, you little

polycotton groupie. Right.

Come on, MJ. You get to go home and

listen to me gloat.

And I wouldn't want to miss a second of

it. Huh

Mother, Father, why do we have this old

stuff lying around the house?Well, son, I

wouldn't talk about your grandmother like

that. I'm talking about our furniture and

all this this junk. Let's get rid of it.

I'll start by going upstairs and cleaning

out my room.

Tish. It's hopeless. The boy's changed.

The next thing you know, we'll be asking

to launder Uncle Gooey out of our linen.

There, there, dear. Everything will be

fine. Remember, though, just

because Pugsley's a little different

doesn't mean we'll love him any less.

We must somehow return Pugsley to

his true idiotic self of yore.

Uncle Fester. Hello. Yes.

What are you doing?Oh, just sodding my

chest. Hey, look, the first spring of

poison Ivy.

Spring is truly in the air. Here you

go, Uncle Fester. I ironed your spare

trench coat. My coat. My

my wonderful coat is stiff and unmoving.

But your coat is always stiff as a board.

Yeah, but but not from starch.

Oh. I'm finding a cure for this kid.

Divided by seven, adding the square root

of Y to the third power and...

Yes, Mrs. Blossom?What are you doing up

here erasing my algebra problem?Uh, well,

ma'am, all your writing has made the

board a trifle dusty, and since it needed

cleaning, uh, at your service, ma'am.

I appreciate that. But next time, could

you kindly refrain from doing so until

I'm done with the problem?Uh, yes, ma'am.

I'll be in my seat if you need me, ma'am.

Let's see. So much for algebra.

Please take out your homework. Here's

my homework. But I didn't assign this

much homework last night. Yes, I'm aware

of that, ma'am. This is my homework for

the rest of the year. In fact, I

did everyone else's homework for the

year, too.

Not to worry, I'll pick them up. No, no,

no, no, noGo away. I'll do it myself.

Hello, Shella. How do you like the new?

Well, Pugsley, you

certainly look different.

Bye. Oh,

yes! Did you hear that, NJ?I

think she likes me. Uh, Pugsley, do you

think that you might have gone a little

too far?Oh, absolutely not.

Shalla really likes me. I'm gonna ask her

to the Addams Family picnic again.

Hey, Shalla, wait up!

Excuse me, Shella, Are you sure you don't

want to go picnicking with the new and

improved?Hey, Adams, let's

you and me have our own picnic.

Mind if I check out your lunch?Hey,

what are you doing?

Just making sure that your lunch can't.

Where's the bugs and the worms and that

beard pudding that your uncle makes?It

was whisker pudding, and I don't eat that

sort of thing anymore. From now on,

I'm a normal kid. Glad to hear it,

Adams. Wait,

Mortimer, don't put me

in the roof. You stay in here and be

normal. I'll let you out after lunch.

Maybe.

Ohh Thanks. Is he

around thing?I don't think this is

working real well, Pugsley. Maybe you

should talk to Mortimer the way you used

to. No way. He's

too big. Pugsley,

you're scared.

Hey,

Adam. Come on, Mortimer.

Please don't hurt me.

I've nothing to hurt you. I'm just going

to help clean up. I'm beautifying the

school by taking out the trash. This

is a troubling sight indeed, dear

brother. There was a time when I was the

only one who could torment you. Quick,

quick, Wednesday, hide me. No, dear

brother, you are already hiding from

yourself. Tis time to reclaim your Adam's

roots. No.

Whoa. Whoa.

It would appear that our uncle has found

a reversing formula. Nah.

But I found a new way to ram my head on

those hard-to-reach rafters. No, I don't

care to change back. I like the new me, I

think. Oh, really?Well, I'm

beginning to like the new you, too. Come

on, let's play some dweeb

basketball.

Ohh Brother, if you want to be normal,

shouldn't you be just plain Pugsley?

That's who you are. Yes, some of us liked

you just the way you were. Yeah,

but Shalla didn't. That's enough,

Vortimer. Leave Poxy alone. Oh, really?

And what are you going to do about it?

No! You leave her alone!

Wow, I'm me again. Yeah,

back, brother. All right.

Hey, Mortimer! We need to

talk. You got a problem, punk?

Yeah, I want to show you something. I

want to show you something. When are you

going to show me that?Hey, you know,

if you're going to push me, push me into

a bottomless pit like this.

And if you're gonna toss me around in a

garbage can, do it like this!

Oh, yeah! And if you won't ruin my lunch,

do it like this!

That's it! I've had enough! Stay

away from me!

Hey, Mortimer, where you going?When's

it going to be my turn?I'd be more

than happy to harass you anytime, mon

sibling. You were right, sis.

I'm all atoms through and through.

Thanks. I must admit, it's refreshing to

have the old hollow skulled you back. You

know, it's kind of nice to be me again.

That was wonderful, Pugsley. I'm glad

that you're you again. No fooling?

Absolutely. You're the Pugsley you were

always meant to be, and I've

grown quite fond of you. But I

must return to my homeland soon.

Bummer. I would be honored, though, if

you'd be my friend. You got a deal.

FingWould you be kind enough to summon

mother and father for me?

Hi, Mom. Hey, Dad, I'm

back.

It's so exciting to be realigning

your cute little spine again.

Tis true, my little male terrorizer.

Let's crack open a bottle of embalming

fluid and celebrate. Mother. Father,

why not commemorate this event with an

Addams Family schoolyard dance?An

excellent idea, my little home wrecker.

Fair thing, brother. Ditto, litter mate.

How about the good old 2 by 4

paddle-a-thon?But you haven't bought a

used car in years, Fester. Oh, yeah.

Then how about the school lunch eruption?

Whoa! Touchdown, Fester!

Score! Lurch! The music!

Oh.