02x06 - Then Came Granny/Pet Show Thing/Fester Sings the Fester Way

[bunniefuu]

They're creepy and they're kooky,

mysterious as kooky. They're all

together kooky. The Addams Family.

Their house is a museum where people come

to see them. They really are astreum. The

Addams

Family. Sweet.

Petite. So get a witch's shawl on

A broomstick, pewpie, crawl on We're

gonna pay a ball on The Addams

Family

They're creepy and they're creepy

Mysteriously cooky They're all

together rookie The Addams

Family

Oh, Gomez, you're so sweet spending your

afternoon posing while I sketch your

wonderful body. Don't mention it, Tish.

Besides, there's nothing more relaxing

than the sound of a pendulum as it lowers

towards your body. Wow,

there. All done, darling. So

soon you're getting faster. The metal

used to be halfway to my liver before you

finished. Dear, would you like to watch

me sketch Uncle Goner?Uncle Goner?

Is he out back feeding the vultures?No.

He's spending his vacation comatose in

the mausoleum. Winter's in the

crematorium. Summer's in the mausoleum.

Oh, what a life that man leads. Well,

hello thing. How is Granny's new business

doing?

Perfect. I'm sure she'll do fine,

especially with lurch lending a hand.

I don't want to know my future. Well, in

your immediate future, I see a beautiful

woman who you will fall madly in love

with. Where is she?

Where is she?Right here. Take a close

look at the lips that are going to light

your lantern, you beauty.

Large, what are you doing here?

Where'd he go?What was

that?Didn't he want to know the rest of

my predictions?

Thank you, thing. Well, who will I play

with into the wee hours?How are your

predictions coming along, Granny?My

predictions?Why, they're more accurate

than ever. I've got hundreds of satisfied

customers who

Granny's psychic hotline.

Not happy. Why, my predictions are

always 100%. Please

hold Granny's psychic

hotline.

Wrong. Me. Granny. The woman

who predicted the great hamster uprising

of 69.

Granny's psyche.

Hello. It's for you, Granny.

Granny. No, no, no, no

That's enough. I'm sick and tired of

hearing my psychic powers on. What?

I suppose Granny's clients will have to

call her back later. Lucky

for her, she landed in one of those

puddles of DNA Fester keeps in his trench

coat pocket. Oh, that

DNA is hard to get off.

Thank you for letting me borrow your

putty knife thing. Oh, thing.

I think I'm losing my psychic powers. Ohh

Hey, Granny, are you done with that

bathwater?Yes.

Great. Maybe it'll cause that leftover

DNA in my pocket to mature into a bizarre

new life form. Vester,

I have something to ask you. Well, make

it quick. It's almost time for my 4:00

stomach crophy. Do you know a way I can

get my renowned psychic powers back?

Ha! What psychic powers?You're about a

brick shy if you think I believe in that

stuff. Oh, yeah?Well, didn't I

predict the last time you got struck by

lightning?Uh, that's only because I had

my spine replaced with that TV antenna.

See?It happens all the time. Tell me when

I'll be sold to the glue factory. Now

that's something to look forward to.

Oh, I can't, Fester. I

think I've lost my powers. I just

can't recharge myself like you can.

No way, Jose. I've got it.

Oh, if it's contagious and painful, let

me stand real close and get in on the

action, please. Whee. There's only one

way to get my powers

back. The Crystal

Rock. I went there once before when

my abilities were growing dear.

Instantly I found myself charged with

limb and vigor.

Well, Granny, it looks like you're ready

to hit the road. That's right. To the

fabled Crystal Rock. Do you know how to

drive a motorcycle, Granny?Of

course I do, Morticia. Watch.

Not only can she drive well,

but she looks better on a chopper than

Uncle Skidmark. And it's been so long

since Lurch has been hit by a moving

vehicle.

Oh, boy. Hey, Granny, mind if I come

along?Why, Fester, you do

believe in my powers. Do you really want

to help me find the crystal rock?Nah,

you're my kind of driver. Besides, a good

motorcycle ride will give me the chance

to catch a few more bugs in my teeth.

You look a little uncomfortable, old man.

I do. Hey, Lurch,

how about making me really uncomfortable?

With pleasure.

Come on, Granny, let's get going before

my shoulder pops back in to join me.

Are you ready to ride things?

So long. Bye.

Oh, darling. Doesn't Granny look serene

sitting atop her hog?Tish. That's

motorcycle talk. Gotta mia. Speak some

more. Chopper. Born to be wild. Leader of

the pack. Gotta mia.

Gomez. Goodbyes now.

Biker talk later. Oh, OK.

Thanks.

Hey, why are we stopping here?The Crystal

Rock is nearby. Oh, I can see it.

Nah, it's just this block of astic I

accidentally left on your seat.

Want me to lop you up the slab?No,

thanks. Come on, thing.

You two, go ahead. I'll just throw myself

into that Canyon over there a few times.

That ought to keep me from getting bored.

Excuse me, Sir. What do you want,

Grandma?I'm

looking for Crystal Rock. Really. And

what if we don't want to tell you where

it is?Well, I guess I'll just have to

make you. Oh, I'm

scared. Please don't hurt little stump

grandma.

Never do that thing.

My lipstick.

Oh, no way. I'm no dancing man.

There. Want to trip the light Fantastic

stumpster?Come on. Back off, lady.

Come on. Let's go. Easy. What's

wrong?I'm just using my feminine wiles

to find out where Crystal Rock is. You

mean was. It ain't here no

more. It's not. Where is it?

Gone. Out of here. History. Got it,

Grandma. Now, adios. Va la boom.

But it can't be. Without Crystal Rock, I

might never get my psychic powers back.

Hey, which one of you owns that black

motorcycle out there?I

do. Well, I borrowed your muffler so I

could install an exhaust system in my

trench coat. That ought to give

me more get up and go. Whoa.

Hey, see you later,

Grandma. You let Fester go

right now. Why

don't you just go somewhere else and look

for your powers?We'll keep your friend

around here for a little fun. If you

don't release Fester, I predict some

trouble in your future.

What's her problem?Oh, look at her. I am

so scared. Oh, man,

a spinning grandmama.

You don't trim Aunt Sumo's ear hair for



Hi-yah.

Hey, Granny, am I too late?Thing and I

didn't need your help. I didn't

want to help. I wanted you to lay one of

your reverse Crescent kicks up beside my

head. I got to hand it to you, lady.

Your prediction was right. Did

you hear that thing?My prediction came

true. Granny Frump Psychic

Extraordinaire is back in business

again. Well, we're predicting

that you can't do that again.

It's it and the hair curlers. What?What

are you doing here?

Your family?Hey, man, I'm

sorry. I didn't know. We don't want to

mess with you guys, do we?No way.

We're out of here, man. I didn't know you

rode motorcycles, cousin, yet.

Oh, I see. The sun at your back, the

wind in your hair. Not to mention the

road saw, puff claps, and occasional

hitchhikers. How is it going?I've

never, neverWhat a

wonderful idea, darling. I've sculpted

many statues of you, but I've never.

actually sculpted you before.

Chisel away, Cadita. I'm just glad that

Granny's feeling chipper again. And she

and Fester have become better friends.

Ah, you're about as psychic as

that pink fort on my left ankle. That's

not true, Fester. In fact, I'm

predicting a big surprise for you. I'll

believe it when I see it. Good.

Whoa, man. Bring on the

future.

No, noAnd no. Oh, Dean

Anastolium. Come on,

Judge. Absolutely not. This is a

competition for only the finest watch

pants. Fine. Crazy kids.

Hey. Ones with their own body, not some

some hand. Hop, 23.

Hop, two, three. Oh, Mrs. Johnson. Hop,



poodle battalion. Now there are some fine

watch pets. But you don't

make me laugh.

What is it, Lurch?Oh,

look. Poor Thang.

Thang, this is no time to give up and go

home. Rather. It is a time to expel

the judge's consciousness. All right,

I'll chain him up and Lurch will toss him

off Happy Creek Bridge.

Maybe next time, Play-doh. This time,

however, a little subtlety is in order.

Lisp.

Lisp. Jane. Nice reflexes.

Well, what a vicious fruit you are. Let's

see how your watchdog training reacts to

this. Get

me 911. Hurry. Fast

dialer.

Ready. Snap it up, sis.

Here comes the judge. Almost done.

And voila. The task at hand has been

completed, brother. Not you again.

Hold on, Judge. Not so fast.

Introducing Snapper.

Wow, I see you brought a real pet with

you this time. HmmWhere's that hand,

anyway?You mean thing?Oh, he's

right. He's frolicking playfully, as all

dismembered appendages are wont to do.

Wow, he's quite a watch. I'm sure he'll

be perfectly safe. Safe from what,

Your Honor?Well, Manny the Watch Sloth

was stolen this morning. Really. Yes,

but don't worry, our crack security force

is on the job. Is friend Snapper at risk?

Absolutely not. I promise you that your

pet isn't going anywhere.

There, thereDon't worry, little watch

guys. This is your new home, and

I'm your new master, Harry Barber.

Who would suspect the mall janitor is the

watch pet thief?

I used to be in love with my hand,

but thanks to that nosy hand. Everything

happens. I was thrown in jail and

had all that therapy, but now I'm cured

and everything's fine.

Isn't it Daddy's little gripper?I mean,

isn't it?This time

I'll make sure that thing doesn't ruin my

life again. With Happydale's

finest watch pets protecting me, he'll

stay away. Balty.

Hey, whatever you are, you're losing some

hair. Are you OK?Perhaps

I should have a closer look.

Now what?Hello.

Yes, this is Harry Palmer.

Over to library book. I'll be rightthere.

Whoopsie. The book. I forgot the

book.

Oh, my empty cages. Who will save me

now?What have you done?Oh,

how dare you?I can't believe you didthis.

No, it can't be. It's

you. See. Well, you won't be

me this time. You can't. Not at anything.

I challenge you. I'm better than you.

I'm guard. And

just get me now. Wait.

This can't be my song. Oh, yeahWell,

let's see how you are red jeweling pies.

Johan, I've got you in my

sight station.

I'm not through with you yet.

OK. Oh, no.

It's time to unleash the old power

knuckler.

Try to top that.

I give up. You're a better hand than me.

If I were a hand, that is. I admit it.

You won fair and square. Let's

shake.

Just because you won doesn't mean

I have to like it. So long

thing.

If I never see that thing again, it'll be

too soon. I'm glad you're all

back safe and sound. And now shall we

honor this year's winner. And I must

admit. Most impressive watch back

thing.

Congratulations, friend thing.

Are we done, dear uncle?Almost.

Now I am. Dearest

uncle, you are so unique. How do

you do it?Well, I'll tell you. Larch,

the sparkling.

Thing, my cave.

Pugsley, a wet mackerel. Music and

mackerels, a match made in heaven.

Listen up, folks, to what I have to say

'bout living your life the best away

I ain't sayin' ain't 'cause it ain't good

grammar So just make me happy and swing

that old hammer I'm singin' toot, toot,

toot I'm a hob-bop, bop, bop I

can't stop, oh yeah

Could you die

I got a pal named Norm, he lives next

door. He treats me like girls, so I come

back for more. He takes me on rides. He

greets me with a club. He threatens me

daily. I guess you-- Oh, Lord,

I

don't know. I've exploded.

I've imploded.

I've corroded.

I've been floated, oh, yeah. I've

rolled in the dirt and kept a monkey in

my shirt. Don't ask me why.

Oh, uh-oh, uh-oh. I feel a dance

coming on. Oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, I

can't help it. Here's your

thriller right here.

But I love my family, a fun-loving bunch.

They make me get breakfast and bury me at

lunch. They're the most in the saga that

is my life. Granny, the kids, my

bro, and his elegant wife.

'Cause I'm living life the

bestThere's only one way To you, you, you

I'm a hoot

I can't

stop You, you, you, you And you call

yourself Oh, oh, oh, oh The best

way It's the only

way

yeah, hello?