01x09 - The Fastest Fast Food Fiend!

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(PLAYING ACCORDION)

(CROWS CAWING)

(FAINT RUMBLING)

(GASPING)

(RUMBLING INTENSIFIES)

(KIDS SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

(FOOTSTEPS THUDDING)

(GASPS)

(ROARING)

(BATS SCREECHING)

♪ Scooby-Dooby-Doo
and Guess Who?

♪ We know you're
one in a million

♪ Scooby-Doo

♪ We can count on you,
Scooby-Doo

♪ To catch and unmask
that villain ♪

SHAGGY: Zoinks!
It's "Weird Al" Yankovic!
(LAUGHS)

(ACCORDION MUSIC PLAYING)

Do you guys think you could
maybe wait to practice

until we actually get
to the accordion camp?

Uh, nothing doing, Daph.

Scoob and I gotta
hone our skills.

Yeah.

DAPHNE: Fred,
please drive faster.

FRED: I'm trying.
(SIGHS) We're almost there.

-Huh, thank goodness!
-Whoa! Hang on, g*ng!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(HORN HONKING)

-Why is everyone
in such a panic?
-Let's find out.

-You can't leave. Don't take
my students away, please.
-(CARS WHOOSHING)

There's so much
accordion music left to play.

(SCREAMING) No!

Hang on,
I'll be right with you.

(SCREAMING) No!

(EXHALING)

Hi, there. Welcome to
Weird Al's All Accordion
Marching Band Camp.

ALL: Wow! Famous
singer-songwriter
Weird Al Yankovic?

(CHUCKLING) Scooby and I
have been dreaming about

coming here for years.

Yeah, years.

Mr. Yankovic,
why is everyone leaving?

Please call me Weird Al.

It seems there's a crazy
rumor going around

that a real live dinosaur

is attacking
my accordion camp.

All the parents are pulling
their kids out.

(CAR HONKING)

Michelle, not you too.
You can't leave.

Um, Weird Al, you know
that dinosaur rumor?

I'm not so sure it's a rumor.

(ROARING)

You have to leave.
You have to leave right now.

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

Ooh!

-(SCREAMING)
-(ACCORDION PLAYING)

Oh, cool, chase music.

♪ Just when I thought
I seen the weirdest sights

♪ I walked in
on a boy and his dog
just running for their lives

♪ Run, run, run, run, run, run
Run, run, run from dinosaur

(SCREAMING)

Uh-oh!

Whoa, whoa!

-(ACCORDION PLAYING)
-Whoa, whoa!

Hah! Dumb dinosaur.

(ROARING)

Uh-oh.

♪ Okay, here's a tip
you should never ignore

♪ It's a bad idea
to talk to a dinosaur

♪ It's coming my way
Oh, my feet hit the floor

♪ Thinking it's time
I run for the door

♪ Run, run, run, run,
run, run, run from dinosaur ♪

Jeepers!

Mr. Weird Al, are you okay?

(PANTING AND WHIMPERING)

Yes, but where's Sally?

-Sally!
-Who else is in here?

Sally! Oh! Oh, good,
she's not hurt.

(PLAYING OFF-KEY)

Is it broken?

Nah, she's just sad.

Not only is she upset
about that crazy dinosaur,

but I've lost all my campers.

I'll have to close
the place down.

-Oh, no!
-Like, I'm sorry, Scoob.

We were all hoping you could
help us with our big dreams

of becoming concert
accordion players.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, play.

Really? (CHUCKLES) Thanks.

(PLAYING TUNELESSLY)

(LAUGHS AWKWARDLY) All right.

Let's see
what you got, Shaggy.

Prepare to be amazed.
(CHUCKLES)

(PLAYING TUNELESSLY)

(CHUCKLES) Sorry.

I usually play it southpaw.

(PLAYING ACCORDION)

Meh, you're not bad.

So, let's focus on you,
Scooby-Doo.

I'll help you learn
the accordion, but
I'll need your help in return.

Anything.

I have to save my school.

You kooky kids have to
help me figure out

what's going on
with these dinosaur attacks,

and find a way to stop them.

So, I can keep the lost art
of the accordion alive.

That's music to our ears,
Weird Al.

We'd be happy to help you
solve this mystery.

Show us where it all started.

-(PLAYING ACCORDION)
-(ALL GASPING)

♪ Looking at the cave
where the dinosaur came from

♪ And now that I say it

♪ It does seem kinda dumb ♪

(ALL GASPING)

You kids are trespassing.
This is my dig.

Your dig? Who are you?

I'm Dr. Josephine Tuttle,

world renowned paleontologist.

These hills are full of
dinosaur fossils.

And when this cave opened up,

I got permits to dig
the whole area.

So, it's mine.

Hello, I'm Weird Al.

DR. TUTTLE:
I know who you are.

You're the weirdo that runs
that obnoxious accordion camp
down there.

You don't belong
on this mountain.

Wow!

This fossil is a dorsal
vertebrae from a T-Rex.

(AGGRESSIVELY) Yes! Such rare
and amazing finds

are all over this
geological shelf.

The whole mountain should be
a big paleontological park

with no accordions.

So, get out! Go!
You're not welcome here.

♪ That was one odd, mean,
old paleontologist

♪ She really got rid of us and
nailed the mineologi... ♪

Uh, it's hard
to rhyme paleontologist.

-(RUSTLING)
-(ALL GASPING)

Oh, hey, sorry.
Didn't mean to startle you.

Uh, my name's Pete. We wanted
to apologize for Dr. Tuttle.

I'm also Pete over here, uh,
we work for the university.

We're supposed
to be helping Dr. Tuttle.

Oh, but she's kinda
run us off now.

She's been acting kinda
strange lately,
eh, right, Pete?

Absolutely, Pete!

Better stay clear of her.
You guys have
a nice night now.

They seemed odd,
but nicer than Dr. Tuttle.

Uh, well guys,
it's getting late.

We should maybe all get back
to camp and get some rest.

-Hey, maybe I should
sing about that.
-TOGETHER: No!

-Yeah.
-Awesome!

♪ We went hunting
for a dinosaur

♪ And met a mean, old lady

♪ We never saw before

♪ When it got late

♪ I should have said,
"Woo-hoo"

♪ It seemed like time

♪ Time to go to bed
Woo-hoo ♪

Uh! (EXHALING)

-(CAR APPROACHING)
-(ALL GASPING)

How y'all doin'?

Hello, Big Bob!

Ain't you gonna introduce me
to your new friends?

No? I will then.

Name's Big Bob McAllister.

I own the mining company
that's gonna set up

a fracking operation
on this here mountain.

Well, now that is
if I can get

Mr. Yankovic here
to sell me his land.

♪ Never, never

♪ Never ♪

You're the last holdout,
but... (LAUGHING DEVIOUSLY)

Now that your music camp's
been attacked by a dinosaur

and gonna close down,

I'm thinking I'll be able to
pick up your land for real
cheap. (LAUGHING DEVIOUSLY)

Ta-ta, Mr. Yankovic.

You sure don't have a lot of
friends on this mountain.

I do not, Fred, I do not.

(SHAGGY SNORING)

Okay, Scooby-Doo, let's see
if we can help you
with the accordion.

-(PLAYING ACCORDION)
-Too loud!

Oh, yeah, um...

Oh, I've got just the thing.

Give it a go, Scooby.

(PLAYING ACCORDION)

(PLAYS OFF-TUNE)

Okay, so you got dog fingers.

Yeah, dog fingers. (SIGHS)

Ah, so... maybe we try
plastic finger hands.

Ah, weird.

Yeah, too weird even for me.

And I've got weird in my name.

Ha! Let's play Chopsticks
using chopsticks.

(CHUCKLES) I mean,
the public domain,
1877 version.

-Okay, Scooby?
-Okay.

(PLAYING ACCORDION)

(SCOOBY GASPS)

Ah, okay. Uh...

Did you ever think maybe
the accordion isn't for you?

Oh, sorry, Scooby.
I... I didn't mean that.

Don't... Don't worry,
we'll get it.

-Wasn't me.
-(GROWLING)

-(ROARING)
-(SCREAMING)

-(GRUNTING)
-(SHAGGY YAWNING)

Oh, pretty sandwich.

-(ROARING)
-(GASPING) Zoinks!

(SCREAMING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

(ROARING)

♪ I never thought that
this would be my fate

♪ Being delicious
Weird Al dinosaur bait ♪

-(ROARING)
-(SCREAMING)

(WHISPERING) Maybe,
if we don't move,

it can't see us.

Is it working?

He totally sees us.

-(SCREAMING)
-(ROARING)

Hurry, guys, get in.

(SQUEALING)

Fred, go faster!

(WHIMPERING)

(SCOOBY GASPS)

-(ENGINE ACCELERATING)
-(ROARING)

Phew! I think we lost him.

Ah, way to go, Freddie!

-(SOFT GROWL)

-(ALL GASPING)

-(ROARING)
-(ALL SCREAMING)

(ROARING)

(ENGINE REVVING)

(OWLS HOOTING)

DAPHNE: Jeepers! He really
chewed up the bumper.

Look at that!

-Hey!
-Like it's an actual
dinosaur tooth.

-Yeah.
-But it's a fossilized tooth.

Why would a living dinosaur
have a fossilized tooth?

Well, maybe he's not
a good brusher.

His tooth may be old,
but his tracks are fresh.

Come on, g*ng!

The tracks led us right back
to the cave site.

Dr. Tuttle.

Somebody or something
ransacked Dr. Tuttle's tent.

(WHIMPERING) Looks like
she must have become
dinosaur chow.

Yeah, dino chow.

♪ Creepy, creepy, creepy

♪ There's a dinosaur
out there now

♪ Chompy, chompy, chompy

♪ Will we all be
dinosaur chow? ♪

There's something odd
about these dino footprints.

They're the right shape,
but...

Hmm...

Okay, g*ng. I say we go
explore that cave

and see what else
we can discover.

(GROWLING SOFTLY)

Hey. This isn't
a natural cave.

It's an old mine shaft.

But someone's been
digging in here recently.

WEIRD AL: That doesn't
make sense.

There hasn't been ore here
for years.

I wonder if
Big Bob McAllister's

been doing some
poking around up here,

illegally.

(PLAYING ACCORDION)

-(ROARING)
-(ALL GASPING)

It's that crazy dinosaur! Run!

(ROARING)

(PANTING)

(SCOOBY WHIMPERING)

♪ Hush, little Scooby,
don't you cry

♪ Weird Al will help you
to get by

♪ And if we can't get
out of this place

♪ A big, old dino's
gonna eat your face ♪

(GULPS) Not helping.

Yeah, dude. Like how about
no more accordion?

Fine.

(PLAYING THEREMIN)

Yikes!

What?

You didn't say anything about
not playing the theremin.

(PLAYING THEREMIN) See?
The theremin's just so cool.

(IMITATING THEREMIN)

-(ROARING)
-(SCREAMING) Ah!

(ALL SCREAMING)

(ROARING)

Ah! I think we've hit
a dead end.

-(ALL GASPING)
-(ROARING)

(ROCKS CRUMBLING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

We're trapped in a cave.
It's okay.

Because at least,
we're cut off from that
hungry, angry dinosaur.

Yeah, angry.

Oh, look.

Scoob, there't like a real,
baby dinosaur in there.

SCOOBY: Will it hatch?

No, Scooby, that egg
is a crystallized fossil.

-It's millions of years old.
-(RUMBLING)

-(ROARING)
-Zoinks!

It's that crazy dinosaur!

Run!

(ROARING)

Up there, hurry!

That's it, Scooby-Doo.
Follow your nose.

(JAWS SNAPPING)

Like wow!

He really wants
this dinosaur egg.

(ROARING)

(SCREAMING)

(WOLF HOWLING)

Guys, look what we found.

Jinkies! This is priceless!

That dinosaur was desperately
trying to get it from us.

That's perfect!
We can use it as bait.

Now all we need to do
is build the trap.

(CHUCKLES) No need.
I've already built one.

ALL: Really?

(STUTTERING) I've already
got the trap all rigged
and ready to go.

If we can lure the dinosaur
into this dry creek bed,

we can blow the sluice gates
on the dam upstream.

The water will come
rushing down

and carry the dinosaur
right into these nets here

I've got strung across
the channel.

Wow! That is amazing,
Weird Al!

Hey, wait a minute.

Is this a trap you created
to catch the campers' parents?

No! No. (CHUCKLES) Never, no.

Uh, yes. Maybe.

I have a very strict policy
about parents

sneaking out before
our big accordion concerts.

We round them up
and bring them back.

Well, I, for one,
think it's a great trap.

And you know what
I always say, "Trapping time!"

♪ Trapping time, trapping time

♪ Everybody smile
and fall in line

♪ 'Cause it's trapping,
trapping, trapping,
trapping time ♪

Fine, let's just go.

I rigged the sluice gate
to blow

when I play a high A
on my accordion.

Perfect! Now, for the bait.

(DINOSAUR'S FOOTSTEPS
APPROACHING)

(ROARING)

(EXCLAIMS) It's the dinosaur.

(GASPING) Another one.

ALL: What?

(ROARING)

(ALL GASPING AND PANTING)

(ROARING)

(SCREAMING)

(ROARING)

Can you believe it, Scoob?

We're watching
two dinosaurs fight.

Just like the movies.

(ROARING)

We have to get those dinosaurs

both standing
on the same spot.

We could drive them both in
using ourselves as bait.

But we'd be swept away
by the flood.

I've got a back up plan.
Everybody, follow me!

Hold this, Scooby.

When I say,
hit that high A.

What? Huh? I can't play that.

You need to believe.

That's the only way to play
the accordion.

Just believe!

Over here. Hey, hey, you crazy
fighting dinosaurs.

Here's the egg.
Come and get it.

-Come on, both of you.
Come on.
-(ROARING)

Um, Weird Al,
why are we all here?

Um, I thought it added
a little dramatic tension.

(GROWLING)

(GASPING)

-Squeeze and believe.
Squeeze and believe.
-(PLAYING ACCORDION)

Play that note, Scooby.

Do it!

(ROARING)

(THUD)

Now!

Play that note, Scooby.

No, I can't.

-We're all gonna
get eaten by dinosaurs.
-No.

(PLAYING ACCORDION)

(SCREAMING)

(HITS HIGH NOTE)

(RUMBLING)

Yikes!

Get ready to hang on.

(QUACKS)

(ALL SCREAMING)

(WATER GUSHING)

Now, let's see who
these ding-dong dinosaurs
really are.

ALL: Pete and Pete!

It's all very simple really.

The two Petes did work for
the university but were doing

a little ill*gal
fossil-hunting on the site.

When they found the priceless
crystallized egg,

they knew they had
struck it rich.

But when those accordion kids
caused the avalanche,

they exposed our dig.

We used these
animatronic dinosaur suits

Pete and I here,
to scare everybody away,
didn't we, Pete?

Exactly, Pete!

(CHUCKLING)
Animatronic dinosaur.

(SHAGGY SCREAMING)

(WHIMPERING)

So, like Pete made me do
all the digging

while he hogged
the dinosaur suit,

I just knew he was gonna
cheat me out of it.

-I was not.
-You were too.

-Was not.
-Too.

-Uh-uh.
-Too.

So, I got my own
dinosaur suit

to take the egg for myself.

And we would have gotten away
with it too...

If it weren't for you
meddling kids, eh.

And the musical stylings
of Weird Al Yankovic.

♪ Greedy, greedy, greedy ♪

WEIRD AL: Ah, I wanna
thank you kooky kids for
solving this mystery.

My accordion camp is now
reopened for business.

-I've got a special treat
for you, Scooby-Doo.
-Yeah?

You may stink
on the accordion,

but I think this
is the instrument for you.

Like, dude, that's
the percussion suitcase.

Sweet!

Come on, everybody,
let's dance.

(PLAYING ACCORDION AND DRUMS)

♪ Scooby-Dooby-Doo ♪

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)