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02x06 - Episode 6

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Adventures of Portland Bill". Aired: 4 October 1983 – 25 June 1986.*
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Set in a fictional lighthouse on the Guillemot Rock, just off the coast from the fictional village of McGuillycuddy.

02x06 - Episode 6

Post by bunniefuu »

[Music]

oh come with me to the rolling sea while

the weather's calm and still

and we'll have some fun and laughter

with the adventures of portland build

this is eddie stone mcgilly cookies only

shopkeeper making his deliveries

eddie is a jack of all trades

in fact he's got so many jobs

that he needs special pegs on the front

of his delivery bicycle to hang all of

his official hats on

[Music]

oh gosh i'm tired it's been such a busy

day five deliveries and fourteen of

people called

morning miss shannon i have a parcel for

you why thank you eddie will you leave

it on the step for me i'm just going to

catch a fish for tea

certainly

now eddie was so tired that he nearly

nodded off to sleep there and then

[Music]

in fact he most certainly would have had

40 wings if grandma tyree hadn't

reminded him about a delivery promise to

make for someone on the other side of

the bag

oh

[Music]

eddie hadn't been at sea long when a

gale blew up

why that wind was strong enough to blow

the anchors off a sailor's buttons

luckily fred

at that moment i was on watch in the

lighthouse

boy king neptune's beard the kipper's

adrift in the storm but where's eddie

quick ross pet jerome comedy follow me

[Music]

blistering barnacles it's eddie

he's fast asleep in the bottom of the

boat and snoring like a sea lion

hey eddie wake up don't you know there's

a storm blowing

oh two lumps please oh oh what's the

time

where am i it's all right you've been

adrift in a 4-7 gale but you're safe now

coming to the lighthouse and we'll get

you warm and dry

and the rocking of the boat must have

sent me off to sleep why if you'd not

spotted me when you did

blasphemy whale bone corsets it's all in

a day's work for us

but you better stay here until the storm

ends

and dog has got a present for you it's

another hat for you to add to your

collection

oh yes

it's a night cap just in case you fall

asleep next time you make your

deliveries

[Music]

there's always something happening on

the guillemot rock

[Music]

we're polishing and cleaning everything

we can till all the brass is gleaming

and the rooms are and span

scrub dust polish and rub with cleaning

cloth and water tub splish splush

mopping the floor with puddles and

bubbles all over the floor

hey bill what's yellow and highly

dangerous

you know russ

shark infested custard

[Music]

little

[Music]

and water tub splish splash mopping the

floor with cuddles and bubbles all over

the floor

we've polished and we cleaned up

everything we can now all the brass is

gleaming and the rooms are

[Music]

tell us another story bill

this is my lighthouse on the guillemot

road peaceful isn't it nothing but the

cry of the seagulls and the laughing of

the waves

well it's not always like that oh where

is it i know somewhere

comedy was looking for some toothpaste

and there wasn't any

the weather had been so bad that we'd

not been able to get to the mainland to

pick up supplies for almost a month and

it's not just the toothpaste we're

running out of everything so candles

glue

we'd better go downstairs and tell bill

i i would better

when my lads reported for duty

i was looking for a change in the

weather

trying to think of a way to break some

more bad news

and that's not the only problem lads

because we've not been to the mainland

for weeks we're running short of food

never mind bill there are plenty of fish

in the sea we'll not starve

but ross you don't seem to understand

this is our last jam tart

oh crikey that is bad news

you mean there's only one left

i

write us

bill wouldn't a joke about such a

serious matter as this

oh well as senior officer i'd better eat

it then

wait a minute bill

i made it so i should say who gets to

eat it

and as far as i'm concerned that person

should be

me hold it gravity

i haven't had a cake all week that dart

must be the one i left

oh yes i recognize it it's mine all

right

it is it's snap

it is it is it is promising listen here

pal that's mine

now we had a serious problem

there could have been a mutiny any

minute

i acted quickly

[Music]

whoever wants the last jam tart will

have to earn it

now listen

i set each of us a task and promised

that whoever finished his job first

could eat the last jam tart

and i set duggar to gather that just in

case one of those lads felt inclined to

cheat

just checking that it was still there

dog chat

now we were all determined to win the

jam time so we each worked harder than

we'd ever worked before

[Music]

oh

when those lads had finished they both

raced to the living room to claim the

last jam time

it had to happen

those lads had both finished work at the

same time

so there was only one thing to do

let's share it

good idea

ah come on ross let's get him

i got something to show you

but bill he's just eaten the last jumped

up

yes it was the last jam tack but this me

lads

is my first and last cream cake

a cream cake oh chris i think

yes i made it with the emergency

supplies

and we've finished all our work in

record time i would have dreamed we

finished that bill we needed a good time

and the storm has just blown itself out

so we should be able to fetch more

supplies tomorrow hooray great k*ller i

smashing they'll celebrate

the last jam tart indeed

[Music]

oh come with me to the rolling sea while

the weather's calm and still

and we'll have some fun and laughter

with the adventures of portland bill

[Music]

you