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01x02 - Dental Hyjinks

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Muppet Babies". Aired: September 15, 1984 – November 2, 1991.*
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Series stars Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, Animal, Scooter, Skeeter, Rowlf the Dog, and Gonzo as the main characters in their baby counterparts.

01x02 - Dental Hyjinks

Post by bunniefuu »

Barbie babies

[Music]

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is everything all right in here

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nothing

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testing one two three good afternoon

race fans this is Rolf the dog coming to

you live from the in your battles

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oh gentlemen and ladies start your

engines

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[Applause]

oh great my imagination won't start

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on your marks

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thank you

I guess I need to jump start it

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foreign

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I must have taken a wrong turn I'm

running low on fuel better pull into the

pit

animal fill her up

thank you

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just my luck

scores

hey this is great I'm gonna win I just

know it

oh no

good afternoon officer did I do

something wrong all right attending a

race without a license huh forgetting

the buckle your imaginary seat belt

right and speeding in a cardboard box

[Music]

foreign

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[Music]

[Applause]

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is uh is everyone okay

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I've got a loose tooth let me see

oh brother it's Maddie for himself she's

gonna make you go to the dentist for

sure the dentist

quick get me some glue I glue it in

tight again ah fuzzy I know just how you

feel I heard about this guy who went to

the dentist

it was Radical first they first they dug

into the cavity

then they blasted

oh

hey wait don't you want to hear the part

about where they struck oil hey don't

listen to Gonzo fuzzy going to the

dentist isn't really bad karma how would

you know frogs don't even have teeth gee

what a time to get technical

hey guys Manny's coming she is oh no I

gotta hide

[Music]

is everything okay I thought I heard a

crash

[Music]

what are you doing fuzzy I'm hiding from

Nanny I don't want her to find out about

my oh what he meant was um he's helping

me tune my piano

[Music]

oh my tools

Fuzzy open wide and say ah

so that's why you're hiding I'm afraid

we're going to have to go to the dentist

and have that loose tooth checked out

I'll make an appointment

foreign

[Music]

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yeah what I don't know if that's such a

good idea

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don't worry fuzzy I'll get that tooth

out for you

are you sure this is gonna work Kermit

I'm sure ain't sure in a few seconds all

your troubles will be over okay piggy

Full Speed Ahead

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

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of this world

thank you

[Music]

hey man

[Applause]

foreign

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No it didn't

I guess I'll have to go to the dentist

don't worry fuzzy put your tooth out no

don't come any closer you guys are

dangerous

gee um he'll never let us pull that

tooth out now I know a story that'll

make him change his mind

[Music]

you don't want to go to the dentist

Fozzie if you do the Tooth Fairy won't

come Tooth Fairy yeah see when you turn

the ba*ls out and you put it under your

pillow the Tooth Fairy comes and leaves

you money money

foreign

[Music]

next time I'm taking the bus

who are you you were expecting Boy

George I'm the Tooth Fairy Who do you

think

okay there's your tooth money one

million bucks a million dollars Jake I

thought I just got a quarter

Hey where's the tooth oh it's not hot

yet

sorry pal no coat no bucks

huh fuzzy think what you could do with

all that money yeah with a million bucks

he could buy some good jokes scooter

sorry

that's right with a million bucks I

could buy all kinds of funny jokes stuff

like a rubber chicken a whoopee cushion

a squirting flower

oh

Tooth Fairy wait why don't you leave the

money now and when my thought comes out

I'll mail it to you hey now pull later

no way Jose

I'm as weird as I look but I'm not as

dumb as I look

hi there and here you got a loose tooth

now um I'm prepared to pay you two

million dollars for two million you

could have it the money's all yours

fuzzy now hand over the tooth

want to have that tooth take my diamonds

they're worth five million five million

oh double that

you can have my oil wells ten million

bucks worth

oh my

[Applause]

God

I'll give you a 20 million

Google first listen there I'll give you

30 million

[Music]

a hundred million 500 trillion a billion

million million dollars and that's my

final offer my

hey guys I gotta get this toothed out so

I could leave it under my pillow for the

Tooth Fairy hey way to go Skeeter your

story worked great

no way you just want to get my reward

money still away from me you you tooth

robbers what's gotten into you fuzzy we

just wanna help oh yeah sorry Ralph I

didn't mean it fellas of course you can

help me get it out but how I'll tell you

how with my new computer program it's

got 64k bytes

looks like it's 65 bites now no not that

kind of bite computer bites brain power

just watch

first we make a computer model of fuzzy

by punching up the proper coordinates

hey I look all weird quiet I gotta

concentrate sorry next we program the

formula for how much force we need to

pull the tube wow that's really

incredible

what does it mean it tells us the exact

length of string to use and how hard we

have to pull to get your tooth out

it looks right to me

don't

touch that

[Music]

oh that's the formula for a turbocharged

vacuum cleaner

don't do that now you turned it into the

formula for a man-eating chocolate cake

I did

quick scander I've fixed the formula and

fix it no that's the equation for a

self-propelled giant drill not kidding

yeah it's after us no oh

[Applause]

[Music]

not me he's the one with the loose tooth

get him

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do something

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[Applause]

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you okay fuzzy oh I think so my tooth

it'll never come out

oh

don't worry fuzzy a little punk can help

us get your tooth out

I thought you were Fozzy's friend you

want some little

no not that kind of punk this kind I

know a song that's guaranteed to Rattle

your teeth

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don't see

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Mickey

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okay everybody I'm for the tooth fairy

and let's see if we can get to the root

of this problem everybody got us we're

going under the bridge yay

I'm now at Fuzzy's muffin Grill it's the

Muppet baby

Shake it up Shake It Out Shake It Out

Shake It Up

[Music]

just kick off your shoes

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and do the loose tooth buggy

oh it's not use sorry fuzzy yeah sorry

fuzzy we tried

[Music]

animal this isn't funny

I know we need to get fuzzy an apple gee

biggie what good is an apple gonna do

well

wrap on my foot what he needs is a

bazooka

hey guys

[Music]

what am I going to do Kermit uh relax

fuzzy she probably couldn't get an

appointment till next week

fuzzy I have good news see Dr frith had

a cancellation in his schedule so I got

you an appointment for today

[Music]

come on

I can't bear to think what's going to

happen to poor Fozzie oh don't worry

piggy he'll survive I hope yeah

see the dentist can't be that bad huh

are you kidding they'll drill them full

of so many holes he'll look like swiss

cheese Gonzo gosh what if Gonzo's right

foreign

[Applause]

[Music]

must answer questions correctly or get

one of his teeth drilled and here's our

first Challenger fuzzy bear yay

[Music]

and now our champion for the last 4 000

weeks the Dennis

oh are you ready for your first question

fuzzy uh no in that case here it is why

did the chicken cross the road oh I know

that one I know that one uh give me a

minute why did the chicken crush the

road oh yeah oh yeah

[Music]

[Applause]

that is absolutely wrong what but I've

told that joke a million times that's

why he crossed it is sorry the correct

answer to why did the chicken cross the

road is to get away from his dentist and

now fuzzy it's time for the drill

open wide

oh no

[Music]

okay it's all right oh well gee it's

it's just I'm so worried about fuzzy

don't worry he'll be okay sure he'll be

okay

[Music]

he was a good bear I'll miss his smiling

face

not his jokes but his face I can't stand

thinking about it poor fuzzy all alone

with that great big dentist yeah

strapped into that chair with all those

creepy instruments

[Music]

at last I.E Dr frogenstein have created

the perfect monster

will almost perfect if we can just find

one more tooth your monster will be

complete that's it you're a genius nurse

pigor what do you think I was just

another their pretty face what I need is

the tooth of a young bear who tells bad

jokes now where would I find a tooth

like that

hello

[Music]

I'm selling all jokes to raise money for

the bear Scouts I used to be a Cub Scout

but I graduated pretty funny huh that

one's only a nickel

[Music]

I have cheaper ones and they're not as

funny though wait

perfect and don't go I want your tooth

huh I mean tell the truth you got any

better jokes sure I got a great run if a

man had three apples and you took two

away what would you have give up a very

angry man

funny huh that one's on sale

I'll take it

[Music]

perfect nurse figure prepare for the

tooth transplant Dr hogenstein

oh what's that hi that's Dr

Frankenstein's tooth pulling cable yeah

who's totally gonna fall why you're

silly

oh no no

mine huh

very soon my tooth monster will be

complete

wait a minute I've got some better jokes

really

[Music]

[Applause]

I gotta get out of here

quick follow that tooth

come on you stupid duck open

good evening

want to pull your tooth

hey

[Applause]

[Music]

animals snap out of this don't pull down

that's better we shouldn't let our

imaginations run away with us should we

I mean we couldn't stay calm and quit

worrying for an hour can't we you're

right

it's horrible they'll put all his teeth

you'll never be able to smile again

[Music]

poor fuzzy

[Music]

[Music]

look he's alive

fuzzy are you okay what'd they do to you

it must have been horrible the pain the

suffering tell us all about it gosh it

didn't hurt a bit and look the dentist

gave me a balloon and a sugarless

lollipop for being such a good patient

lollipop balloon huh

[Music]

nanny nanny my tooth hurts

braces I want false teeth I get a loose

tooth too Nanny hey I thought frogs

didn't have teeth

well I won't tell if you won't

[Music]

we won't go through this William

[Music]

again

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