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02x07 - I Want My Muppet T V

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Muppet Babies". Aired: September 15, 1984 – November 2, 1991.*
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Series stars Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, Animal, Scooter, Skeeter, Rowlf the Dog, and Gonzo as the main characters in their baby counterparts.

02x07 - I Want My Muppet T V

Post by bunniefuu »

foreign

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

nothing

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

hey I caught a fish I caught a fish I'm

gonna eat it for dinner that's a shoe

Fozzy you can't eat that sure I can

haven't you ever heard of filet of salt

waka waka waka

please sorry there aren't any fish here

Kermit let's move to another spot oh

sure thing Ralph I'll start the motor

[Music]

we're here hey Skeeter I got one

[Music]

I bet it's the biggest fish in the way

I don't think so scooter

yuck why would a fish want to eat one of

these are you kidding baby these are

great

all you have to do is turn it on and it

automatically find the fish

[Music]

dried out

[Music]

[Applause]

oh no it's worse than a shark it's it's

animals

[Applause]

[Music]

oh my God guys look what time it is it's

time for our favorite cartoon show funny

Freddy

it's funny

it's funny time quick funny Freddy I'm

gonna be funny someday just like funny

Freddy

oh that's funny Freddy he's too much

yeah he's pretending his TV show is

messed up

oh Bobby I think our TV really is messed

up it is oh no I can't live without

funny Freddy he's my idol a little slum

Tomer see if you can fix the picture

Peter

oh

[Music]

Mommy

will know what to do what's wrong with

the TV kids the pictures all funny Nanny

can you fix it oh no I think it's really

broken kids

I'll call the repairman he'll come out

and fix it

yeah we've never missed funny Freddy

before I

you can watch the funny

funny

you're right nobody's as funny as Freddy

hey wait a minute guys fuzzy may have

something there I don't uh you mean you

want me to pretend I'm funny Freddy so

you can watch the funny I'm not exactly

fuzzy I was thinking we could pretend to

make our own TV shows that's a great

idea Kermit what use our cardboard box

as a TV

yeah let's do it

um but how do we make a screen I know

[Music]

perfect Skeeter hey these paper cups

will make great control knobs and boots

are not affordable antenna come on let's

try it out

gosh I thought this was a black and

white cardboard TV

hi friends Chef rolls here for doggy

time dog food if you're a dog and I know

I am you'll love doggy time

yes sir it's a real meal in a can I

how do you change channel on this TV

piggy super you pick it up and

hey

[Music]

you're on Kirby what me GM I don't know

what kind of program to do

there's something wrong with the color

it's all green there's nothing wrong

with the color Gonzo I am green oh

sorry

[Applause]

phew

hermit show us a TV program I I know I

got one good morning

[Music]

eat fuzzy bear left the water running in

the sink again washing away half the

city of Cleveland however Farley was

nice enough to blowing the city is

rubber ducky used to have in the

evacuation efforts on the driver's side

it's in San Francisco famous inventor

Bunsen Honeydew built the world's first

skyscraper made of flour and water

um I think he's enough water and now for

the sports report

wait a minute uh here's an important

Bulletin we now take you live to our

pick on the street reporter Piggy hello

Kermit I'm here on the street with Fozzy

Bear rumor has it that thought he just

told his first

joke well fuzzy there are

many viewers out there anxiously waiting

to hear you finally say something funny

no problem I just know your audience is

going to love this joke what do you get

when you saw down an apple tree

give up you get applesauce get it

well here you have it just another one

of those wild rumors now back to you

Kermit thanks Piggy and now it's time

for scooters computer weather report

whoa

[Music]

you're on scooter I am oh uh here are

the current temperatures let's see uh 42

71 and 19 below

get to the good parts scooter if there

is a good part oh sure there is for Real

weather let's see

let's do some

rest

and and six inches of snow in Wyoming

and in Florida oh no what is it scooter

wow

[Applause]

[Music]

it's time for another commercial

hello there are potential consumers and

honeydew child genius for

tomorrow

it's all right

these are my new photos I'm throwing

nightmare pajamas no matter what kind of

bathrooms you ever have these pajamas

will protect you

[Music]

all right

no sweat yes

[Music]

or perhaps your problem is scary ghost

dreams

[Music]

[Applause]

no problem just brought them with the

ghostbusting backpack

that's right friends for only 25 cents

you can have your very own anti

nightmare PJs with my personal

satisfaction guarantee that your

frequent Rock what's your future the

commercial's over

or what show do you want to watch next

it's Laverne

and say

I know the perfect show weirdo trick oh

brother welcome to outer space the final

frontier where we join The Voyage of a

starship's second prize on a mission to

explore alien worlds and go where no

weirdo has gone before

when will we reach star base one Mr

weirdo logically speaking Captain

Kirkman will arrive

Italy to

2.19826 close enough Mr weirdo

there's something screwy with your

Vulcan brain Mr weirdo maybe your

batteries are low I'll raise them

[Music]

Kirkman there's something on the screen

[Music]

that screen the bad screen

[Music]

remember Troopers I don't care what

happens to Mr weirdo but we must take

handsome Captain Kirkman news

[Applause]

on tomatoes away

yes Photon Tomatoes oh no next we'll be

blasted with radium relish what are our

chances of defeating the static Klingon

vessel Mr weirdo I'd say approximately

one chance in 29 billion 14 million 930

221.3748219675 by the time he's done

with that number the show will be over

[Music]

they aren't

[Music]

they a few more futon tomatoes and

Captain kirklet will be mine

good

accelerate to work Vector nine I'm doing

the best I can Captain

put too much

is off

right to the transporter room B Mass

away and be sure right now remember this

time

I'm sorry you have reached a

disconnected number

[Music]

I knew he dialed the wrong number

again scooty and this time check the

directory okay

that's better set your feeder to tickle

Mr weirdo it'll tickle those static

crayons into surrendering

don't touch that button or will tickle

glass you at

37 points I need three that's all three

thank you oh my you're even better

looking than I am Magic

[Music]

next few years nobody can resist them

what

[Applause]

again Some people prefer my nose Oh

Captain kirklet what do you think we go

on a little star trip together

hurry say anybody want to hear a good

space joke not nobody okay then I think

it's time for another commercial

commercial

can't do a commercial animal

s

what could you sell that we want to buy

anyway

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

s

hey that stuff sounds pretty neat how

much does it cost

oh

My Hub

[Music]

come on down animal Nanny will be mad if

she sees this mess birth mom

oh geez I think we ought to find another

sponsor what do you think what should we

watch now guys how about a comedy police

show I could tell jokes and arrest the

audience for laughing without a license

regular Fozzy no one would ever laugh at

your jokes hey guys I Want My Muppet TV

I Want My Muppet TV

I got it

music video That's a terrific idea let's

get our instruments good idea Kermit

[Music]

ready one two one two three four

[Music]

[Applause]

every single morning at the crack of

dawn and wake up in the afternoon

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

someone lost

[Music]

right here

[Applause]

[Music]

that's what I call Rock and Roll come on

let's think of another program to make

how about leave a division or the wide

world of weirdo

the real shows what is going to be on a

real TV show oh what show is that piggy

that Johnny Carson yo

this is right you can't be on the Johnny

Carson show it comes right after your

butt pearls not today

[Music]

oh is that so

[Music]

Johnny

I never knew he played in cardboard

boxes before would you welcome Miss

Piggy

[Applause]

thank you it's so good to be on your

show Johnny I don't believe this yeah

boyfriend stood do you have any

boyfriends

[Music]

you want to do something for us you are

um well actually I thought you'd never

ask I'd love to

[Applause]

[Music]

get one two one two three

I'd like to dedicate this poem to

um

[Music]

I'm frog his skin is green and fine and

everywhere that piggy goes you'll find

him just behind he'll follow me down the

aisle one day and married we will be

so if you're thinking of chickening out

you're in big trouble Kermit

[Applause]

hey if I could get onto the Johnny

Carson show I could become a famous

comedian forget it fuzzy you already

only looks funny comedians tell jokes

yeah he'll never you on the show oh yeah

then I'll just have to sneak on and yes

I like I like seeing um did I say

something funny

[Music]

get off that stage you you

[Applause]

thank you

you're laughing at me I bet they'd like

to hear one of my funny jokes don't you

don't Houston but this is my big chance

Piggy

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

hi there my name is

I mean fuzzy bear

and I'll tell you a joke if you promise

not to throw tomatoes at me okay

hey guys Johnny Carson laughed at me I'm

funny I really am gee Mr Carson did

laugh at fuzzy yeah maybe he'd let me

play piano on his show I cut through

scientific experiments I could be a

stand-up weirdo you

Johnny Johnny Mr Carson hello hi kids

the TV is fixed you can watch all your

favorite programs now first teeth thanks

Nanny thanks man come on guys

quickly what on Earth are you doing

we're making our own TV shows Nanny yeah

we like our programs better than the

real ones what's our next

let's watch happy dogs or what about

candid computer

another dimension a dimension of Sight

and Sound

a dimension of blue nosed baboons you

are entering the weirdo Zone

[Applause]

[Music]

ha

[Music]

foreign

[Music]

Bulletin

a crazy looking kid with a hairy pink

face has been running wild throughout

the city turning people's TV sets off oh

my boy no don't you bye-bye bye bye

[Music]