03x08 - The Daily Muppet

[bunniefuu]

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happy babies

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I

love great jokes

I've got my computer

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yeah

is everything all right in here

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thank you

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foreign

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[Applause]

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ah toast as I suspected

enemy is approaching Kermit this is your

big chance to do your duty for pond and

Country

don't worry Captain I'm in great shot

with Torpedoes I'll be the Sailor for

the job no no we don't need any more

Sailors what we need is

torpedo torpedo

hey where are you taking me hello

guitarpedo

they had to ask

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laughs

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oh sheesh

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[Applause]

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what's the matter never seen a humming

weirdo before

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wow

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wow you're the cutest humming Pig I've

ever seen

with me

hey you think maybe I could give you a

kiss

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ha

yeah

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get out of my pajamas Why are we on the

floor hey that's my foot

I'm hungry

Is It Anyway look first time

my tummy it is breakfast time Piggy's

right let's go see if breakfast is ready

yeah let's go

I'm starving hurry up again

I Didn't Do It honest guys

the rain soaked in newspaper and now

it's ruined

gosh that's too bad nanny sorry Nanny

yeah

gosh Nanny sure wasn't her regular Happy

song this morning maybe she had a bad

dream about her bedroom being invaded by

a squadron of unidentified flying

grapefruits Furby an identified flying

yams excuse me fuzzy but I think your

brain needs rewinding

wow wow gee thanks Gonzo I feel better

already hey you guys you know why nearly

so upset

why because she loves to read the

newspaper in the morning and her paper

is wrecked Kermit's right she threw away

her paper cause it got all wet maybe we

could get her another paper

we could go back in a time machine and

hold an umbrella over the newspaper so

it doesn't

get wet I know we can make her another

newspaper

anything about making newspapers yeah

the only training I've had in the

newspaper business is when I was

housebroken it can't be that hard I'll

be the editor I could be the music

reporter

that's great Ralph and Skeeter you could

be the sports reporter

and piggy you can be the movie reviewer

Gonzo yeah

you be the photographer great

I'll get undercover pictures

this Martian disguise foolsom every time

what are you gonna do animal me not know

I know animal can help me I'm going to

do the comic page oh good idea fuzzy

come on animal okay let me see uh what

kind of comic strip would Nanny like

funny

good idea I have to run about a funny

bear

I'll call it Fuzzy's funnies

hey this is great I think I tell a joke

what do you call it when an elephant

dances in a china shop huh

you Carly break dancing get it break

dancing Waka Waka Waka

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wow a balloon that's the way people talk

in comic strips balloons Farm

hey it's not that kind of balloon animal

fine

wow those balloons are dangerous maybe

if I just think instead of talk I won't

make any more balloons

I'm getting out of here before I get

squished

yeah

yeah

whoa

go away you stupid balloons

don't say anything animal okay

no

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yeah

what's going on fuzzy

um I got the comic Pages ready for

printing hey that's great oh no yay

what did I see

balloons

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here's the comic section scooter get it

ready for pay stuff will you sure thing

Kermit

ah Ganzo we haven't even started them

yet oh really nope why did you want me

to stop him anyway I don't know that's

what they always say in those rooms oh

boy

it's time for RONA Pinky's movie review

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this movie is called Phantom of the

Opera

shout a lousy rock musician who wishes

he played piano like Lionel Richie

when his records don't sell he decides

to be an actor and tries out for the

part of Tarzan

he's too ugly to be Tarzan so he decides

to play Dracula instead the end

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what a lousy movie on Ronald Piggy's

skin of one to ten I give it a minus

three

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here scooter paste up this review in the

movie section sure thing Piggy

hey Skeeter how are you coming with the

sports section they're ready

from Muppet stadium with World Series

highlights it was a great game today in

the first inning some players watched

the UFO fly over the stadium fortunately

it turned out to be just the baseball

when the team's coach found out it was

the Empire's birthday he sang Happy

birthday to him and did a little dance

later the hometown manager and the

Umpire discussed the recipe for HomeTown

hot dogs

here's my sports report Chief hearing

looks good Skeeter hey Kermit how about

printing a newspaper joke on the front

page huh like this one what's black and

white and red all over where are chief

Ozzy everybody knows that's your look

they do

newspapers are black and white and red

all over gosh that's not the joke I was

thinking of I thought what was black and

white and red all over was a skunk

covered with strawberry jam

I'd rather be hit by a tomato any day

thanks

here's the latest scores Kermit three to

one seven to four ten to nothing and

here's a partial score that just came in

two huh gee thanks Skeeter Kermit I need

a photo for the front page we're at

gungo's Department gee I wonder where he

is

I'm gross what kind of doing I think

he's under the couch talking to the dust

ba*ls I mean

there must be some martians around here

somewhere

I knew you were hiding under here I'm a

photographer Gonzo of the daily Muppet

take me to your leader

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hey where'd you go I just know there's

life here on Mars and when I snap

above a real life Martian it'll be the

story of that century

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maybe the rocks on Mars are actually

super intelligent beings

take me to your leader oh I get it you

are the leader so tell me what's

Sun March Rocky old buddy hmm that's

silent type huh oh well at least I can

get a picture smile boy there's gotta be

something more lively around here than

this

maybe there's a whole civilization of

martians living underwater

he's right

aw weirdest looking my

reminder

I don't have a leader I'm your

reflection torpedo nose

sometimes I think my imagination has an

imagination of its own

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I'll find life on this planet if it's

the last thing I do

this is Chief editor Kermit send up our

music reporter

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you called Chief

um yeah I want you to go out and get an

interview with Nanny's favorite rock

group gee I didn't know Nanny dug rock

music sure Nanny told us that she used

to like the music of something called

um the big bands remember big bands hmm

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this must be the right place a animal

Big Bang

boy the dudes who play these instruments

have gotta be huge

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well Nanny was right these big bands are

great

are you coming with that music review

Rolf it's all ready chief hmm what kind

of review is this well I don't know how

to write words so I wrote it in music

sheesh

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boy I'm pushed I've looked everywhere

and there isn't a sign of Life on this

planet I guess I'll have to rock it back

to the nursery and give Kermit the bad

news

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laughs

hey green cheese

yum

cheese

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there's no such thing as Martians

quick skater

can't you see I'm busy I don't have time

for games

got it

stresses make a new headline martians

Invaders quit goofing off Gonzo the news

is Serious Business you're k*lling me

[Applause]

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in French

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[Applause]

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shaking the couch and come out of there

looking for me

hurry up guys it's almost time to go to

press wait a minute what if Nanny wants

to find a job or needs to buy a used car

Fuzzy's right we need some classified

ads

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or help wanted

[Applause]

used cars

foreign

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there is

a story breaks somewhere in the city

that's where we gotta go

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sh

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reports

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happy celebrity interviews

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why hot story

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we're ready to roll to bring the morning

paper to you

faster

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here you go scooter let's get this stuff

from the presses and get this paper

printed up right chief

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at the game

all right yeah

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there's only one page ah no problem

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this should do it

Arkansas that's blank paper so what

nobody ever reads any of that insights

stuck anyway

okay let's deliver Nanny's paper

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my goodness what's this

it's your newspaper Nanny yeah we made

it ourselves because we know how much

you like to read the newspaper every day

why that's sweet of you kids I think

that sports section Nanny that's very

nice Skeeter and I wrote the music

review uh-huh and I do the funnies Nanny

oh well they're very cute fuzzy brown

pads that's right

look

good news

thanks a lot kids this is going to be

the best paper I've ever read she likes

it we did it we're real newspaper makers

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oh what's the matter Gonzo ah gee Kermit

I never got my photo of the Martian

invasion of Earth well that's because

there aren't any Little Green Men Gonzo

just little green frogs

oh

thank you

foreign

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the story must continue on the next page

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